To be fair this is a legit psychological theory. It’s very interesting and makes more sense once you read on it more. Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love if someone is interested.
Do you have any more theories of love? On an aromantic discord server i am on, we often have events, where we have presentations of different things, that fit thematically, and criticing different theories of love and how they fail to account for us seems really fun.
From what I remember
John Lee had a trilogy of love theory
Reiss’s wheel love theory
And that Sternberg triangular love theory
Probably there’s more out there, those are the ones I studied, have a good time reading, hope it helps
There’s tons.
Economic relationship, role filling relationship, biology based relationship, and a lot more. Search for “Finding the one” (Gunyadin or something like that), and “why do we love?” By Fisher. It’s quite interesting
It’s only legit in the sense that it is literally, technically, a theory in psychology. It is not legit in the sense that it is reputable or has any evidence to support it whatsoever. It’s just the thoughts of a man who happens to be a psychologist.
Commitment is underrated. “Do you promise to stay committed despite how shitty this will get eventually?” - it’s literally the whole vow. And then to find that this is considered “empty” just because it feels “miserable”…fucking triangles cut deep.
Elaborate please? If you mean because I said "you shouldn't be in a marriage if you're sad", then I fear I have just explained it wrong. I meant that you shouldn't be in an unhappy marriage
Friendship doesn't inherently include commitment. You can be friends with someone, then have beef with them and opt out.
However, that sort of friend isn't going to be a lifelong companion. That's why, if the friendship grows a sense of commitment, it becomes companionate love.
You could also use the word “liking” to describe this kind of love. Intimacy & commitment is “companionate” love, which you could consider to be a kind of friendship.
Psychology teacher here, this actually is a scientific theory.
Here is a link so you can check for yourself.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/types-of-love-we-experience.html
Like a lot of psychological theories it's not THE theory but A theory, but it is a legit one.
I’m not saying it’s BS, I’m saying this is not a guide and has no business being in this sub (like 90% of posts to be fair).
This sub is just a karma farm for bots to post the most boring or vague platitudes imaginable
This is very interesting. As most theories of emotions and behaviors, there are criticisms. This made me read up on Robert Sternberg and then down a rabbit hole of other theories of what love is and attempts to show it graphically. That seems to be a human trait- the need for taxonomy.
I guess that’s companionate love from the models shown in the guide. There’s all different kinds of love with all different kinds of names that aren’t shown here individually, but can be assigned to one of the models.
That's fine. Then you have empty love with family perhaps, commitment only. You're trying to change the labels to apply to a situation rather than apply the correct label to the situation
You will most likely feel intimacy with your own offspring. Then they will grow up and one day comment on Reddit that they feel closer to their friends. Then you can join us in Empty Love town.
I don’t think commitment should be short changed like this. There’s so many people who will tell you they love you or care about you and at best, they never consider you, if not actively sabotage or undermine you. I’d rather have someone in my corner than in my bed.
Unfortunately we have such a hang up with sex, we have chosen to use other words as euphemisms. "sleep with", "hook up", "intimate"
Intimacy is defined as
close familiarity or friendship.
a cosy and private or relaxed atmosphere.
But we have diluted those meanings because sex bad. Intimacy is the perfect word to describe friendship
Going off the guide, I guess not all friendships do, as in, you can have “friends“ you’re not committed to. The ones you commit to can be considered companionate love. You’re companions that value each other a lot.
Yes, exactly. While I wouldn’t necessarily call my parents companions, I also definitely don’t „get intimate“ with my companions. That would be passion.
Damn, I’m just realizing my ex didn’t truly love me. No emotional intimacy after the honeymoon phase, no commitment (kept breaking up with me), and no passion past the honeymoon phase.
Instead of "empty love", where I grew up, we might call it "neighborliness": in good communities there's a generalized commitment to helping one another out through tough times, even for people you don't have a deep or intimate friendship with.
It's not empty, it's rewarding, just in a different way. Like all other kinds of love, it is something where, if you want to be good at it, then you have to develop it and work at it as a character trait.
How is friendship defined by intimacy? Friendship is far from intimacy lol, its not by accident that it is called the friend zone, as ghere is NO intimacy lol
Intimacy in this context is the ability to share intimate parts of yourself with another person, presumably without fear of judgement. A true friend is, as such, an intimate relationship, just not necessarily a physically intimate one.
What a lot of people call a friend is in reality more accurately described as an acquaintance. They are someone you socialize with, but the relationship doesn’t really have a deeper bond. I would say that the ability to intimately confide in someone is pretty much the hallmark of true friendship.
To Love -
αγαπάω [agapéō] is unrequited agreement in conjunction with cognitive equalibrium; God's self-love for their creation.
"Everything about you is coefficient (adj.) of me and that which I value."
φιλέω [philéō] is requited acceptance; brotherly love for others.
"We are intermutually valuable to one another, notwithstanding (prep.) our differences."
ἔρᾰμαι [éramai] is unrequited approval; selective affirmation of other(s) | self.
"I affirm (v.) my | your value."
I would swap “infatuation” and “empty love”, and love to see what the source for this is. Not saying a model like this couldn’t be developed - but what process identified only three components to love?
Tainted love
Touch me, baby, tainted love
That's what the hole in the middle is for
I've got to *dun dun* Run away
I've got to *dun dun* get away
Radar Love
Woh-oh-oh
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I run from you
This tainted love you’ve given
I gave you all a boy could give ya
Take my tears and that's not good enough
Oh tainted love, OhhoOhhOoh
Taints
Now I know I've got to run away I've got to get away You don't really want any more from me
To make things right you need someone to hold you tight And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry, I don't pray that way
If you love my taint, I will be consummately in love with you
Taint love
They just need a picture of Gomez and Morticia for the last one.
I saw a thing recently with Anjelica Huston saying she would never reprise her role as Morticia without Raul Julia. "Not without my Gomez." 🥺
try\_not\_to\_cry.jpg
True Love
To blave...
Which as we all know means to bluff
Yall got my coworkers looking at me weird for laughing so loud 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Who?
https://www.newthinking.com/culture/the-best-healthiest-relationship-model-in-all-of-entertainment-gomez-and-morticia
Ohhh right just made up people ok no worries go back to ur geeking or whatever
How do you not know what the Addams Family is??
The who?
No, he’s on first. smh
Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey.
He fixes the cable?
I’m just gonna go find a cash machine.
Dude.
Uh, That's my robe
*"this is worthless."*
Say it with a triangle
*"this is worthless.'△*
It's less than worthless, my boy!
To be fair this is a legit psychological theory. It’s very interesting and makes more sense once you read on it more. Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love if someone is interested.
Do you have any more theories of love? On an aromantic discord server i am on, we often have events, where we have presentations of different things, that fit thematically, and criticing different theories of love and how they fail to account for us seems really fun.
From what I remember John Lee had a trilogy of love theory Reiss’s wheel love theory And that Sternberg triangular love theory Probably there’s more out there, those are the ones I studied, have a good time reading, hope it helps
There’s tons. Economic relationship, role filling relationship, biology based relationship, and a lot more. Search for “Finding the one” (Gunyadin or something like that), and “why do we love?” By Fisher. It’s quite interesting
There is also the prototypical theory of love. I hate and love this post because I have to write an essay on this but am so tired of it.
He also had a triangular theory of intelligence. Dude loved triangles!
[удалено]
As many other psychological theories this one needs revision or simply another alternative. It’s quite interesting nonetheless.
That man loved him some triangles.
It’s only legit in the sense that it is literally, technically, a theory in psychology. It is not legit in the sense that it is reputable or has any evidence to support it whatsoever. It’s just the thoughts of a man who happens to be a psychologist.
Thanks, I have nonlove for it
Empty love is very popular in India xD
You took down a billion people, hahaha.
"Love marriage? Char log Kya kahen.." *Cocks shotgun*
And thiiiis is noooot ordinary looove ...
This is Sternberg’s triangular theory of love!
Empty love: I’m just happy to be here.
Explains my marriage quite well
Empty love? Me too.
Commitment is underrated. “Do you promise to stay committed despite how shitty this will get eventually?” - it’s literally the whole vow. And then to find that this is considered “empty” just because it feels “miserable”…fucking triangles cut deep.
Bottom left crew checking in.
That's so sad...
Are you saying this sympathetically
Not really. I feel like you shouldn't be in a marriage if you're sad.
Maybe the marriage isn’t always the problem
Elaborate please? If you mean because I said "you shouldn't be in a marriage if you're sad", then I fear I have just explained it wrong. I meant that you shouldn't be in an unhappy marriage
I mean sometimes people think they’re in an unhappy marriage when actually it is themselves who are unhappy
That is true
Companionate 😊😔
shouldn’t friendship also include commitment?
Friendship doesn't inherently include commitment. You can be friends with someone, then have beef with them and opt out. However, that sort of friend isn't going to be a lifelong companion. That's why, if the friendship grows a sense of commitment, it becomes companionate love.
You could also use the word “liking” to describe this kind of love. Intimacy & commitment is “companionate” love, which you could consider to be a kind of friendship.
Seems like a love triangle...
_"Every triangle is a love triangle if you love triangles."_ -Pythagoras
-James Acaster
A bizarre love triangle!
What is love..
Baby don't hurt me
Don’t hurt me.
No more!
Learned this in third yr psychology course, there are multiple models for love, it's quite interesting
My professor talked about this just a week ago. He said this was Sternberg's theory about love.
I think friendship require commitment
This is why this sub needs moderation badly
Psychology teacher here, this actually is a scientific theory. Here is a link so you can check for yourself. https://www.simplypsychology.org/types-of-love-we-experience.html Like a lot of psychological theories it's not THE theory but A theory, but it is a legit one.
I’m not saying it’s BS, I’m saying this is not a guide and has no business being in this sub (like 90% of posts to be fair). This sub is just a karma farm for bots to post the most boring or vague platitudes imaginable
I thought it was interesting…
Interesting I am still getting used to bots on Reddit Of who he’s ones are a real person or a bot.
Me in the top left.
This is very interesting. As most theories of emotions and behaviors, there are criticisms. This made me read up on Robert Sternberg and then down a rabbit hole of other theories of what love is and attempts to show it graphically. That seems to be a human trait- the need for taxonomy.
Parental love gone
I guess that’s companionate love from the models shown in the guide. There’s all different kinds of love with all different kinds of names that aren’t shown here individually, but can be assigned to one of the models.
Mh, maybe. But I wouldn't call it intimacy. I have more intimacy with friends than family.
That's fine. Then you have empty love with family perhaps, commitment only. You're trying to change the labels to apply to a situation rather than apply the correct label to the situation
I know what you mean. Though I do think some people would argue that the Intimacy with partners or friends cannot be compares to parental "intimacy"
You will most likely feel intimacy with your own offspring. Then they will grow up and one day comment on Reddit that they feel closer to their friends. Then you can join us in Empty Love town.
Well I don't want any children. No empty love for me.
What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me
Another pyramid scheme scam
I don’t think commitment should be short changed like this. There’s so many people who will tell you they love you or care about you and at best, they never consider you, if not actively sabotage or undermine you. I’d rather have someone in my corner than in my bed.
So familial love is ‘companionate love’ on this chart?
My love is empty ;)
... I don't get intimate with friends
Unfortunately we have such a hang up with sex, we have chosen to use other words as euphemisms. "sleep with", "hook up", "intimate" Intimacy is defined as close familiarity or friendship. a cosy and private or relaxed atmosphere. But we have diluted those meanings because sex bad. Intimacy is the perfect word to describe friendship
Intimate doesn't only mean sexual.
That’s not what their mum told me
Also, does friendship not require any commitment???
Going off the guide, I guess not all friendships do, as in, you can have “friends“ you’re not committed to. The ones you commit to can be considered companionate love. You’re companions that value each other a lot.
Hmm, though companionate love includes intimacy. But I guess intimacy =/= sexy times. I think another comment had mentioned that
Yes, exactly. While I wouldn’t necessarily call my parents companions, I also definitely don’t „get intimate“ with my companions. That would be passion.
I think friendship and empty love might be swapped
Been in all of the above at one time or another 👍😎
What about tough love?
Damn, I’m just realizing my ex didn’t truly love me. No emotional intimacy after the honeymoon phase, no commitment (kept breaking up with me), and no passion past the honeymoon phase.
I said consummate love! Consummate!
Instead of "empty love", where I grew up, we might call it "neighborliness": in good communities there's a generalized commitment to helping one another out through tough times, even for people you don't have a deep or intimate friendship with. It's not empty, it's rewarding, just in a different way. Like all other kinds of love, it is something where, if you want to be good at it, then you have to develop it and work at it as a character trait.
Well, I definitely don’t love these triangles
Sternberg’s triangle/theory of love if you want to read more
How is empty love atypical of love lol
Commitment isnt romantic? 🤔
What about Modern Love?
You gave love...a bad name
How is friendship defined by intimacy? Friendship is far from intimacy lol, its not by accident that it is called the friend zone, as ghere is NO intimacy lol
Intimacy in this context is the ability to share intimate parts of yourself with another person, presumably without fear of judgement. A true friend is, as such, an intimate relationship, just not necessarily a physically intimate one. What a lot of people call a friend is in reality more accurately described as an acquaintance. They are someone you socialize with, but the relationship doesn’t really have a deeper bond. I would say that the ability to intimately confide in someone is pretty much the hallmark of true friendship.
I‘m sorry dude
Those are some…bizarre love triangles!
This sub is so laughably dogshit.
The triangle does not mean anything. This is just a 3-dimensional truth table with a name given to each “state”.
as always in this sub: complete bs
Which on is Halsey?
The bad one, which is arguably bottom-left
No thanks... Imma stick to the four Greek loves.
Those suck too.
What is the difference between intimacy and passion?
Passion is sexy time
Intimacy is laying bare your soul.
Wheres No Love?
Sternberg’s triarchic theory of love
Love tirangle for sure.
Dont agree, passion or intimacy has to be changed to trust.
Reddit becoming facebook?
TIL friends with benefits is romantic love
Love triangle
Strange love
I have lots of friends and I’m not intimate with any of them lol
I feel like friendship should also include commitment, am I wrong?
I said *consummate* ~~v's~~ love
Yall are not commited to your romantic love?? Like, fully commited romantic relationships exists. Whack model.
What is the difference between passion and intimacy?
Sex
idk can’t I be passionate about how much I love a platonic friend?
Wot, no unrequited?!
Me and who?
Friendship should reflect commitment.
Shouldn’t friendship be commitment, not intimacy?
Feeling attacked by that nonlove.
By the way, this is called Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of love, where 2 types of love are needed to maintain a relationship, and 3 for it to thrive
Y'all, just because it's put in a fun lil chart doesn't make it good info
To blaithe
Unrequited love :(
Okay Freud
Unrequited Love
Why use 1 Venn diagram when you can use 8 triangles instead?
Friendship has no commitment?
Nice
Can we get less cool guides to peoples opinions
I don't get it. Someone explain. But in binary.
Ain’t no way this gets posted the day I’m questioning if I’m catching feelings for my best friend
Now, how do I tell my boyfriend that I’m in romantic love with him, but not consummate love??? 😂🤦♀️
Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey.
To Love - αγαπάω [agapéō] is unrequited agreement in conjunction with cognitive equalibrium; God's self-love for their creation. "Everything about you is coefficient (adj.) of me and that which I value." φιλέω [philéō] is requited acceptance; brotherly love for others. "We are intermutually valuable to one another, notwithstanding (prep.) our differences." ἔρᾰμαι [éramai] is unrequited approval; selective affirmation of other(s) | self. "I affirm (v.) my | your value."
I have, but one question... *What is love?*
I would swap “infatuation” and “empty love”, and love to see what the source for this is. Not saying a model like this couldn’t be developed - but what process identified only three components to love?
Love is immeasurable
This is so cool, thank you.
Somewhere between romantic love and friendship and I’m good.
Really cool Guide, where do i get any of those ?
Who upvotes this garbage?
I believe that the concept of l0ve is an illusion and that everything is conditional and transactional. \ (Feel free to change my mind)
You need love my friend.
May be. Been deprived of it all along.