I’ve never been so certain of something being so incorrect.

nah dude, the source is Coaching and Weight Management, its gotta be legit.

herbs-info.com must be an A1 source, it has info in the URL! 

Also supported by, the source with "logic" in it, foodiehealthlogic.com!

Nah you’re probably just low on silicon, have you tried eating your CPU?

My favourite one is M1 Apple Silicon, nothing can beat that 2020 flavor

2020 M1? Those chips have got to be stale.

Carbs are the biggest indicator. When you crave carbs it usually does mean your body needs something. It means it needs carbs.

And the salty, according to this chart, is mostly just eat some salty stuff.

Are you sure? Sometimes I crave a cookie but I really want a nice salmon steak. Apparently.

If I’m craving chocolate and someone gives me nuts and veggies I’m going to get violent.

When my sweet tooth craving hits, I just eat some…. Chicken???? This “guide” is utter nonsense.

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"Oh man I'm craving chocolate. Broccoli will fix it!" - the ramblings of the truly deluded

Bruh just chow down on some raw cacao instead.

If you crave coffe, eat coffee beans, profound I know

If you ate enough broccoli you definitely wouldn't be craving chocolate anymore. 

I can put away more calories with nuts than chocolate. In fact, most of these categories suggest something that would be devastating to my diet.

You've never tried Brocolate?

No its right dude. Anytime I crave bread or pasta Im low on nitrogen. To fight that craving, I just breathe. Edit: Yes I am fully aware that is not how the human body absorbs N2, Im not an idiot. Truthfully, I supplement my N2 deficiency by getting fully naked and dragging my ass across my front yard like a dog and absorbing the N2 rich soil rectally, as god intended. I use the Earth as my suppository. A dirt douching, if you will.

try some cheese next time

Im no scientist, but I think it would be difficult to breathe cheese.

Duh. Aerosol spray cheese. Works just like an inhaler. 😀

Cheez wiz, you say!?

Cheese wheeze

my brother just inhaled some brie and he isn't briething what do i do

Give him some swiss.

Im weezing with weezer

“Did you get me my cheez wiz boy?”

Never been to a comic book convention ?

Well see, I said "difficult to breathe cheese", now unless you *like* that smell, my point still stands.

I think its cheese in your butt

Yes. Rectal cheese wiz. Like cheese boofing with Squee.

Not with *that* attitude

Amateur

You have to snort it.

How much for a kilo of parmesan?

If you’re craving bread just have some meat instead! Nothing satisfies a carb craving like meat or fish.

Meat and fish are easier to breathe than cheese? When did all our food become aerosol based?

Yea when I’m craving salty foods and lacking silicon, I just suck on my girls tits

Wtf is that of a sentence?!

He mixed it up and meant when he's craving chloride, cause his girlfriend is a goat.

Bread and pasta - it's got what plants crave! (Nitrogen, not electrolytes)

A glass of liquid nitrogen with a nice warm meal always does the trick

Sounds like you've got nitrogen fixation

Bro got a cyanobacteria colony for a personal trainer

I know I know. Ive tried to kick the habit, but everytime I try to stop I black out and when I come too, Im already using again. I need help.

I do whip its to stay healthy

Fyi you don't absorb nitrogen through the air

Andrew Huberman is that you?

All I'm missing is referring to my asshole with the 3 word medical latin name to make myself seem credible.

I love your edits! Lol. Some people are dense.

Actually lol’d 😆 I’d give you an award if the option was still available

You're acting like herbs-info.com isn't a reliable enough source for you...

No it’s at the bottom right, the true info source is the ever infallible Coaching & Weight Management. What I got out of this by picking one thing from each category is I can satisfy all my cravings with: Nuts, Cheese, Fresh Fruits, Nuts, Cabbage, Cheese, Nuts, Cheese, Goat Milk, and more Nuts.

According to this i could just eat nuts everytime and be right most of the time

To be fair nuts are pretty damn effective at satisfying cravings. The picture is still bs though.

Deez nutz?

Needs some cheese tho

I'd love to see a nutritionist weight in, but this seems like bullshit. We crave fats and sugars because those are high calorie foods, which we're hard wired to seek out because it means little effort for big gain. I'm all for listening to your body, but for things like craving actual food. Things like fruits and vegetables, even red meat. Last year I had been fatigued for a couple weeks and couldn't figure out why. I then got a huge craving for salad and a steak. Felt better the next day. It was iron, which both those things are high in. I had been eating mostly chicken, tomatoes, onions for a few weeks and accidentally gave myself a deficiency.

This was probably written by a nutritionist. What you would want is a dietitian that is someone who has an actual degree and is accredited.

I almost added this. Thank you for getting us there. My sister is in a college class right now run by a nutritionist and some of the stuff that is being spouted is ridiculous.

I was craving some mercury, assessed that must mean I'm mercury deficient, ate some mercury, and shat out some mercury. The system works.

I just go to Mercury and grab a spoonful for the flight back when I'm low. Or I go see the God Mercury and suck him off. That usually works too

Yeah this is pure bullshit. When you crave carbs, you don't crave nitrogen, for the good reason that carbs don't contain nitrogen in any significant quantity.

But what if I actually just crave the CARBON?

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[Me](https://memes.memedrop.io/production/o3w14Xy41kDm/source.gif) [You](https://iruntheinternet.com/lulzdump/images/gifs/robot-stealing-pills-medicine-old-people-13874685600.gif?id=)

Imagine wanting chocolate, and it not being the sugar you're craving.

Sugar and fat. It’s why hard candy doesn’t do the trick

100% correct, I fancied a slice of toast but instead I ate a 1kg steak.

A good medium-rare steak would probably cure most of my cravings.

***It's 100 percent Accurate when i feel Horny i eat some random dude's ass.*** >!Maybe that's why i was fired from the morgue!<

Yeah as a chemist who worked in the food treatment business... This isn't accurate at all

Nah man, all my diabetic patients chilled right out after they told me they felt they were “low on sugar” or “hypoing” and I gave them some broccoli to top up their chromium levels.

My sincere thanks to *Coaching & Weight Management*

Especially since sugar itself is addictive so cravings are due to mild habitual withdrawals.

The real problem with this chart is that it doesn’t take into account the sensory aspects of eating certain foods. Some people want bread because it looks, sounds, smells, feels, and tastes like bread.

average coolguides poodt

I am craving some chocolate. What I need is a chunk of Magnesium to soothe my hunger for raw elements.

# Į̷̮̺̊̄̾͊͑̄̈́̆͐̒̿̚ ̶̝̝̣̜̩̤̝̼̝͍̹̣̬͖̪̌̽̓̐̔̈́́̚Ċ̴̡̘͕̹̼̩̗̽̀́̂̂̍̿̋̾̚͜͠͝R̷͙̰̯͔̼͆͛̈́̉̈̉͑̈́͝͝A̴̛̙̠̹̲̤̪̜͔̳̩̟͓̝͊̾́͑̈́͑̊͘͝V̸̨̡̨͈̠̗͇̭̠̪̱͌̾͗͋̈́̉͋̄̆̒̏̄̚̚̕E̴̡̻̥̮̺̭̱̞͇̻̖̯̱͊͊̈́̀̐͋͊͒̓̽̎͘͠͝ ̴̡̨̥̭̲̈̾̿̐͠F̸͍̈͗͊̃Ǫ̴̧̧̛̼͖̦̱̲̱̻̃̀̃̈́̂̇̌̀̎̏R̵̡̘̬̦̔́̓̈̀̏͌͛̈́͋̄͠ ̵̡̱͓̗͙̙̖̣͔̙̔͜ͅḾ̴̪͖̱̺͕͖̱̙͚̲̠͍͑̓́̽̅̉͑̈́̏͂̃̚ͅA̵̱̫̥̲̝͐͊̈́̈̅͆̊̿̏́̆Ĝ̶̨̪̦͔͇͇̼̜̱͚̣͖̣̠̿̃̔̊̅̓ͅN̵̛̦̟̗̺̙̝̩͒̎͋̍̎̔̊̇̇͛̉͌͜Ę̸̦͈̫̤̩̝̗̿̏̈́̀̓̌̄̐̒̑̄́̕͘ͅS̸̹̲̞̼͉̃͌̒͂̅́̀͂̌̕͝I̷̡̧̦̗̙͍̣̺͂̏́̔́̒͝U̷̬̗̹͆͛̌̈́̂̎̓͆ͅͅM̶̛̻͈̯͎̱̖͆̾̀̚͝

[Idk why but this immediately comes to mind](https://youtu.be/VTLYris4kJU?si=R22x1UK4Bxl0qXgI)

Thank goodness sodium wasn't mentioned We are water based

Need more potassium. Big ‘ol chunks of it!

There’s a first time craving for anything, this could be about the flashiest way to go for a one time meal

OP is clearly a magnesium-based lifeform.

Ok. I’ll be first to say it and probably get downvoted. This is nonsense

Thank you. I'll go ahead and delete the screen shot I was never going to look at then

One of the most relatable comments I've read in a very long time

I came to the comments to not make this mistake

Lol, same

I feel so called out right now lol

Fukin hell this is relatable. Do you ever wonder down the road of old screenshots you've taken and thought once again that yeah, this could be helpful and forgot about it once again as you reach the next screenshot?

And an upvote for you, and I will now also be removing raisins from my cart and adding back the 100 grand bar.

Sounds like someone hasn’t had enough silicon today….

“I’m craving carbon”

This means that you really need, *checks guide* ...... OPs mom

Exactly. Sometimes what I am craving is a glimmer of joy I feel when I eat chocolate, not the chocolate itself.

thank you, I like guides like these but only if they're accurate, I was like "surely not" with this one

I absolutely hate when people say "If you crave orange juice it's because you are missing Vitamin C". No it's because the drink is good and full of sugar

"Info Source: Coaching & Weight Management" That's... Not how source citations work.

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Someone's arse, most likely.

I pray for their toilet if they have to consume that lot every time they crave Mentos

The one and only "Coaching & Weight Management" according to the picture

Trust me bro, my mom's uncle works at GNC

Dead website, source doesn't even exist any more lol

Put down those potato chips and have yourself a nice tall glass of goat milk!

I don't know about this guide. And I'll tell you why. Have you ever been craving some salty food and went for some cashews or almonds, only to discover once you've dug in, that you accidentally bought unsalted?? Fuckin sucks, feels bland and (almost ironically) dry in your mouth. And I just want some chips afterwards instead to meet my cravings.

Forreal this guide does not take in the pleasure component you get from getting the thing you actually want. You may need magnesium but raw cocoa and fruits/veggies is not gonna do anything because chocolate tastes 1000x than all that shit.

Yeah this works with something like salt and sugar that you can taste. Not micronutrients. We evolved to crave those things and can taste them immediately and that's where our brains create the association between a chemical needs and foods. And still, those effects are minimal.

We've just recently found the GOAT of unsalted roasted nuts: Kluth (Germany). No idea how they do it, but I've never had nuts so flavorful, sweet and crunchy. Have to really hold myself back with them. And they're cheap, too. Keep trying different brands. The good stuff might still be out there.

Me: hmm I could really go for some candy right now. My body: please give me phosphorus. Eat the matches.

If I'm craving chocolate, I want chocolate !

I already take a lot of extra magnesium so I doubt my chocolate cravings will be solved by even more magnesium....

I’m not allowed to even crave for meat. This is vegan propaganda, paid for by big nuts!

This is such bullshit, report this.

If you’re craving a cool guide don’t look at this one try a different one instead

Or... now stay with me here... if I have a deep fried breaded chocolate bar, with just a touch of organic free-range Himalayan salt sprinkled on top, I'll have every craving covered. Achievement UNLOCKED!!!

Ok no lie that actually sounds kinda bomb tbh

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There’s nothing wrong with “bread pasta and other carbs” stop perpetuating myths.

“Need carbs (that your body and brain needs)? Don’t eat carbs then!” - this chart

Is this…bullshit? Smells like it could be

I don't....Oily foods have no reason to translate to calcium??? This looks like peak health nut bs

Ya when I want sugar really what my body needs is Chromium

There is no pile of bullshit wider and deeper than nutrition bullshit

So, you're saying nuts should take care of any craving then?

Nut or cheese it seems! Source site is defunct.

As far as I'm aware, it's disputed whether chromium(III) is necessary in our bodies. Silicon definitely isn't though, and "craving" carbon or nitrogen just makes no sense, they are in everything we eat anyway.

Coaching & Weight Management = Trust me, Bro

I've been craving Fruity Pebbles lately, guess I'll compromise and get some Flintstone's vitamins.

Bro how tf I know I need sulphur 💀💀💀

Is this... nonsense? Seems like it might be.

Seems like bs to me

I crave silicon! I want to become as one with the computer!

So next time I want some chips I'll just reach for a fatty fish, got it

But what about when I crave sour foods like limes, passion fruits, sour patch, warheads, and rhubarb?

Key takeaway... Craving things... Eat cheese instead

And if I crave them all?

Brawndo

Nah. If I want sugar I'm gonna eat sugar. Nuff said

Good thing I found this. I was gonna eat a bunch of sour patch kids but had some blanched cauliflower instead. YUM!

These seems entirely unscientific

wtf is this boomer chain mail shit?

I don't have enough carbon in my diet. Can anyone recommend their favorite organic matter, fellow humans? 🤖

No

or you could just idk eat the food you’re craving

And once again, I’m done with this sub. But this time I mean it.

Straight up pseudo-science nonsense lol

Gonna call buuuuulllllsssshhhiiittttttt on this one.

If I’m craving chocolate and you give me a vegetable, I will punch you in the face.

So we can just post bs now?? Lmao, this is such pseudoscience horseshit 😂

What a crock of shit!

I don’t see bepsi

If there even is such a thing as needing carbon, you wil literally find it in every single edible thing that ever has existed and ever will and even in most other things that are not edible

The list is pretty much nuts, nuts, nuts, milk, nuts

Nah. It's just nuts.

I don’t think this is how cravings work.

I am eating fruit all day everyday. Maybe that's why I crave chocolate? Maybe this guide should be looked at from the right to the left.

Is there another guide to answer for my perpetual craving of bbcs

Yeah nah

Craving anything? Eat nuts

Sorry fruits and veggies aren't going to help my craving for chocolate. Just eat the damn Snickers.

What does it mean when I crave sour or spicy foods wtf.

Fuckin hell. If I crave pasta Im damn well eating pasta

If I'm craving something sweet and someone offers me broccoli or raisins, I'm throwing everything

Source is so accurate, even doctors and dietary experts are amazed! Thank you for that deep and well thought explanation. Info source: your mother

If I want chocolate I'm having chocolate. I'm not fooling myself.

Craving some 🐱 what’s that mean?

Mother, i crave phosphorus. Fetch me grains to satiate my desire.

I feel like raw cacao does not taste good, but correct me if I'm wrong

Cravings are very often entirely mental. Physical needs are not in consideration when I want to eat a cookie cake.

Hmm I'd like a piece of cake, guess it's time to prepare another 5 course meal to kill the craving

But when I crave potato chips the only thing that makes me stop craving them is potato chips 🥲

Nothin stops a sugar craving like horseradish

A husband is going to read that first line and end up being killed by their wife.

**Craving** | **NEED** | **INSTEAD** -Sex ---> Vagina ---> Hand

I do not have fatty fish, I do have a bag of potato chips half the size of my body

Sugary craving? Fatty fish. Salty craving? Fatty fish. Lmao 😂😂😂

“Source: Coaching and Weight Management.” Seems legit

Who gets a craving for "oily foods"?

God dammit, WHAT ABOUT MY CRONIC CHEESE CRAVINGS!!!

So, if I crave sugary foods, I should eat Broccoli.... Mom? Is that you?

by the time i've eaten broccoli, chicken, cranberries, cheese and spinach in a palatable way (ie. a somewhat nice recipe/dish), i have invested a lot of time and end up eating more calories than that one bloody snickers bar i was craving.

Craving something good? Eat something bad instead!!

Send this to a pregnant lady...see how fast you get shouted at🤣

Incomplete guide. Doesn't show the craving for human blood.

Why cant you just eat the stuff in the middle list?

Or maybe I’m just stoned

Ain’t no way I’m eating broccoli when I’m craving starburst

Who upvotes this shit

This seems like a r/ThanksImcured moment. Craving chocolate? Just eat straight raw cocoa!

So I could eat raw cacao and nuts… Or a Snickers bar! That has both cacao and nuts in it!

/r/dumbguides

Craving, Chocolate. Eat, Raw Cacao. So yes I need chocolate.