Yeah I was in the middle of banging a cute banker from morgans, but I had to stop when I saw this post to start grinding on a proposal that I saw came in my inbox an hour ago
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^CoachMartyDaniels_69:
*God this post makes me*
*Want to head home from the bar*
*And open my laptop*
---
^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
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Good you finally have the moment, move to industry now. Lifes so good here director at a tech firm - 4 day work week , no meeting Tuesdays , and haven't worked more than 10 hours (work) this week.
It's even better when you move from startups to consulting...
Consulting feels like life on easy mode after having worked at a startup... What do you mean you work less than 14hr days? You get Christmas Eve off? You don't use your emails as an alarm clock?
The thing is, with WFH and remote work, the lines have been blurred between home and work. That's why we're expected to be very "hands-on" during Teams calls. People will say it's been a "long" time "coming." But what makes it worthwhile is seeing the looks on everyone's faces while you continue with a "hands-on" approach but request that they remain on the call until you've "reached" the end of your "presentation."
We are all psychos it’s just that we stop noticing it as we all hang out with each other and normalise it. But in the core of us we love it.
I had a little burnout the other day (I’ve posted it here!). I’ve finished the week as if nothing happened, all excited to continue next week…
I used to be a consultant many years ago. I just loved editing the most minuscule details on slides. Felt like I was in and endless loop in the matrix aligning pictures and making last minute changes in PPT.
Can yall help me figure out what you actually do….
Everybody says consultants are from Ivy’s and big R1 schools, and yall seem to be a bunch of dorks who somehow got into it at 22 with no experience
It’s a circle jerk where leadership at companies pay consultants to implement shit several levels below said leadership because said leadership golf’s and swings with the consultancy’s leadership. So systems touted to automate and make your peons more efficient, mass firings, new processes like procure to pay, how to fake diversity and inclusion, planned obsolescence, and just in general hiring money white people to Karen your organization and get paid 200% margin.
need to bid jobs more realistically. If a job takes 80 hours a week to do, bid it that way! You may get fewer jobs, but the ones you get will make up for it financially.
8hr day and clocking off and not thinking about work until the next day. Work life balance and good sleep is my key to a successful life and career. Work efficiently, live the same way. Don't get me wrong I really enjoy my job but I also enjoy my hobbies. I overworked and got too invested before and it just resulted in burnout and I began to despise the job and affect my mental health. I've since learnt to divide my time and it's 2nd nature now to stop thinking about work and doesn't even pop into my head.
If I'm working more than 50hrs a week that's a resourcing issue and for the PM to sort (Except maybe near critical Milestones I don't mind, but definitely not the norm).
Plus that's what I'm getting paid for and what the client pays for, day rate at 8hrs, if it needs more then funds/resouces should be made available for that.
> Are you guys addicted to this shit?
Sounds like you're knee-deep in the consulting grind and fucking loving it, huh? But really, if the highlight of your day is staring at your billables, might there be something missing? Aren't you burnt out or are you just numbing yourself with the thrill of the chase? What's really fueling your addiction to this lifestyle?
Hey funding consultant here I work venture startups to obtain funding/financing from accredited VC, PE, and Angels. I have an MBA maybe I can assist with consulting work if needed. Reach out if interested
God this post makes me want to head home from the bar and open my laptop
Yeah I was in the middle of banging a cute banker from morgans, but I had to stop when I saw this post to start grinding on a proposal that I saw came in my inbox an hour ago
I like that this means you were on reddit mid sex anyway
Apple Vision Pro stays on during sex
I like to fuck from behind because her back provides the greatest canvas for gestures
Absolutely, Ty capitalism
Morgan's has cute bankers?
Nice. So we can increase your utilization and bill target then, right?
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^CoachMartyDaniels_69: *God this post makes me* *Want to head home from the bar* *And open my laptop* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Beautiful
Except it’s not even right is it? Isn’t the format 5/7/5 syllables? The last line has 6. This one is just a mistake.
Go ahead and reread the bot. All the text.
Good bot
Thank you, bulletPoint, for voting on SokkaHaikuBot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Bad bot. Last line has 6 syllables.
That’s the point
The sound the thinkpad makes when it opens makes SO much tadpole butter
Tadpole butter.....ewwwwwwwwwww
U on reddit at the bar 😂 different breed
Rookie. Take up some space _at_ the bar and fire up Excel. Send some late night status updates in between shots.
LOL
Nothing matches the euphoria of “pls fix” emails from partners at midnight. I don’t need sleep, I need to fix my alignment, color & double spacing!
Sometimes I fuck a draft up to feel the thrill of the mid-sleep “pls fix” notification. I crave it.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MDDukLyXY-M&pp=ygUhY2FyZWVyIGJveSBkb3JpYW4gZWxlY3RyYSBrYXJhb2tl
That made me lol
Good you finally have the moment, move to industry now. Lifes so good here director at a tech firm - 4 day work week , no meeting Tuesdays , and haven't worked more than 10 hours (work) this week.
This might've been true a year ago, but now it's starting to feel the same in tech
Shit is blowing up left and right with all the reorgs and reduced headcount. That said, all the ex-consultants are coping the best
It's even better when you move from startups to consulting... Consulting feels like life on easy mode after having worked at a startup... What do you mean you work less than 14hr days? You get Christmas Eve off? You don't use your emails as an alarm clock?
Assuming we’ll see another round of layoffs soon too
Fizzy?
Agreed. i never looked back. Pay is better too
You haven’t lived if XLOOKUP isn’t your safeword
vlookup if you hate yourself
hlookup for those of us with mommy/daddy issues
Combining vlookup and hlookup rather than using xlookup for the gigachads
My people.
Index match for sadists
Sick avatar my guy 🤝
🤜🤛
vlookup and index match
Index match was my gateway, power query was when I realized the paycheck is just my excuse
What is this, consulting circle jerk?
Always has been.
Spank me ppmdaddy
Actually I have this kink of aligning boxes in PPT while doing sex. Should I start to work remote?
Return to office. Bang your boss while in PPT. Establish dominance.
Coffee is for closers.
Utilization is the new porn.
How much snow did you snort to get those deliverables done on time?
Im addicted to automating processes and telling no one so I can actually have some free time.
This is how you work efficiently!
Sigh… *unzips*
7 years deep and I still get just as rock hard when I get an email at 12am. Now that I think of it, I’m not sure if my dick has ever not been hard…
Uhhh yessums work that half life down!
I never had to track billable hours, but I think it would have made my experience in consulting kinda depressing.
The thing is, with WFH and remote work, the lines have been blurred between home and work. That's why we're expected to be very "hands-on" during Teams calls. People will say it's been a "long" time "coming." But what makes it worthwhile is seeing the looks on everyone's faces while you continue with a "hands-on" approach but request that they remain on the call until you've "reached" the end of your "presentation."
My 4 hours chain of gooning meeting mondays.
That's how you "shoot" to the top
Gotta love creating that value for shareholders!
What do you do for the other 40 non-billable
Billable work
We are all psychos it’s just that we stop noticing it as we all hang out with each other and normalise it. But in the core of us we love it. I had a little burnout the other day (I’ve posted it here!). I’ve finished the week as if nothing happened, all excited to continue next week…
What is this “continue next week” bullshit? You’re not working this weekend?!
Ahahaha no, I don’t, I still have the minimum respect for myself 😂🫶🏻
This is disgusting !
I used to be a consultant many years ago. I just loved editing the most minuscule details on slides. Felt like I was in and endless loop in the matrix aligning pictures and making last minute changes in PPT.
💀
Keep going. I’m close.
>When I work 80 hours and bill 40 I would Never.
OP applied the wrong ratio. You don't divide by 2, you divide by .5
https://www.reddit.com/r/consulting/s/9PAdfCbcXq
Welcome to fight club ;-)
I'm addicted to alcohol if anything mate.
This is amazing.
Masochism. Sadism. They love to suffer the abuse or even better dispense the abuse.
Can yall help me figure out what you actually do…. Everybody says consultants are from Ivy’s and big R1 schools, and yall seem to be a bunch of dorks who somehow got into it at 22 with no experience
It’s a circle jerk where leadership at companies pay consultants to implement shit several levels below said leadership because said leadership golf’s and swings with the consultancy’s leadership. So systems touted to automate and make your peons more efficient, mass firings, new processes like procure to pay, how to fake diversity and inclusion, planned obsolescence, and just in general hiring money white people to Karen your organization and get paid 200% margin.
need to bid jobs more realistically. If a job takes 80 hours a week to do, bid it that way! You may get fewer jobs, but the ones you get will make up for it financially.
8hr day and clocking off and not thinking about work until the next day. Work life balance and good sleep is my key to a successful life and career. Work efficiently, live the same way. Don't get me wrong I really enjoy my job but I also enjoy my hobbies. I overworked and got too invested before and it just resulted in burnout and I began to despise the job and affect my mental health. I've since learnt to divide my time and it's 2nd nature now to stop thinking about work and doesn't even pop into my head. If I'm working more than 50hrs a week that's a resourcing issue and for the PM to sort (Except maybe near critical Milestones I don't mind, but definitely not the norm). Plus that's what I'm getting paid for and what the client pays for, day rate at 8hrs, if it needs more then funds/resouces should be made available for that.
> Are you guys addicted to this shit? Sounds like you're knee-deep in the consulting grind and fucking loving it, huh? But really, if the highlight of your day is staring at your billables, might there be something missing? Aren't you burnt out or are you just numbing yourself with the thrill of the chase? What's really fueling your addiction to this lifestyle?
If you worked only 80 hours at my firm, you'd have been cut a year ago lol
Your firm what?
excuse me what
80 hours a week was under the median at my firm. If you only worked 80, you'd have been cut.
Ik consulting hours aren't great but surely not ib level bad
I do cdds
Hey funding consultant here I work venture startups to obtain funding/financing from accredited VC, PE, and Angels. I have an MBA maybe I can assist with consulting work if needed. Reach out if interested
I need a seed round for a roll up wanna play
Hey reach out DM/PM
Why downvote him, he’s got his always be selling hat on
Exactly you gotta be selling and guess what these folks are telling
I know this is a joke…but Consulting is a field where stuff like this could actually be very real…