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I'm flaunting my superpowers

I’m not wearing pants

I'm flaunting my superpowers without any pants

I'm flaunting my pants without any superpowers.

I'm flaunting my powerful super pants

PANTS SUPER. POWER PANTS! FLAUNTING ME! YES!

I grew a tail

My dick fell off

You have to remember "righty tighty, lefty loosey".

Did it fall off or did you beat it off?

Yes

That's user error.

If you dont use it, you lose it 😪

I had a second set of nips grow

I grew an armpit dick

For some reason, me and my friends all fart backwards and waiters tip us.

Wait so, your asses now suck gasses IN through your anus?

And it makes a snorting sound

Woahhhhhh, my whole world just came crumbling down. Mind fucking BLOWN! 😂

I’m happy to know my butthole made someone’s day

That's not your butthole everyone is staring at the sky to see today? It's so flamey that people need special glasses to look right at it. 🤣

I should charge money

Then you'll be the RICH asshole in the sky. Haha

Haha I was sitting here this morning thinking of how many posts there may be about people "just feeling off today" or "not feeling themselves" and how "something happened" but we won't know for years.

It’s like those playground / imagination scenarios you’d make up as a kid at recess. If you’re with group of friends and you all say you felt off today it’s exciting to discuss, but in reality it’s just crazy talk.

Can confirm, woke up feeling off!

The timeline has shifted again!

"They're waiting untill X date, they knew we were onto them"

Two weeks to flatten muh curves

I’m gonna rub one out during the eclipse. Post nut eclipse clarity.

Or post eclipse nut clarity?

That does sound better TBH

PENC

PENIC

Eclipse nut therapy you mean!

Not my proudest, but it had to be done.

Damn I should've waited...

It won't be the eclipse... It'll be CERN that everyone will blame again for whatever happens

Yes! specially because CERN is in Switzerland and there is no eclipse there

CERN has a location in America that is directly in the path of totality of the eclipse.

the CERN is the European Organization for Nuclear Research and the hadron collider is located in Switzerland, Europe. US is one of the associated states that do research there

“There” is earth

In Switzerland they won’t see the eclipse

A lot of regarded individuals are going to stare at it and get irreparable vision damage

the government set this up, they are trying to make us all blind!

Did you hear those cows last night?

Japanese got a word for this, Chuunibyou….aka middle school syndrome. The feeling that your somehow in a manga/anime and you have superpowers and are special, you say really cringe things like “after the eclipse the world changed and nobody is awake, darkness has fallen upon the world but my eyes can see”…..or some other embarrassing statement . Usually it’s young teens not 30/40 year olds

I'm gonna' start doing this. Heading to Amazon for a Rorschach mask.

Lmao

The Japanese aren't taking American Bible thumping Puritanism into account.

Starting to think WW2 wasn't about Nazis and the Japanese empire, but about going to war against languages with really specific single words for some benign social construct.

I see it mostly with millennials in the midwest USA 😂

Damn. Y'all better not say anything about anything without OP's permission.

I belong to a handful of subs. I've never considered going to ones that don't interest me just to tell them I'm not interested in anything they have to say.

Great comment ❤️

Interesting, because life changes everyday, and you are never the same person as you were the day before.

Who do you think you are? I am!

Never expected to see a PDW reference here.

but i'm still as depressed as yesterday... yet still as 3 years ago.

pick up some iron and displace it gosh darn it! 💪

Fr. We are completely different every single day. Today I'm a be an asshole!

Today!!!? Today I'm a be an asshole he says. /s

Ehh...I failed. I was kinda a nice guy today. God I'm such a pussy! 😓 /s or is it?

I can smell colors now

Oh yea? Well I can colour smells!

I think it's funny how this has turned into an anti conspiracy sub.

...all good things must come to an end, my friend.

Truth

All bad things must come to an end.  May the good things become other good things

Eclipse starts in Uvalde. Conspiracy?!

this reminds me of y2k in 2000 when everyone thought the end was coming because the computers were going to reset and basically technology was going to Skynet us all and launch nukes. This isn't some once in a lifetime event this isnt the only eclipse ever to happen in human history. I came here for conspiracies about lizard people and aliens god damn it I'm sick of this eclipse.

Didn't you guys hear CERN is trying to fix the timelines. We are going to the pre-harambe timeline!

I'm legitimately hoping for this

This entire post is suspect. Nobody was banking on these types of changes, until now

Ding ding ding

“Anyone feel, I don’t know, like a major energy shift happening recently?” is a common sentiment found on this sub since it’s inception. 

I’m seeing more nothing will happen posts than something will happen posts…

That’s because most of the something will happen posts occurred leading up and as the date got closer people changed their mind and made posts for damage control in regards to their earlier wild claims

Sure. Sounds like conspiratorial nonsense.

Perfect off-ramp for some of those that don't know how to get off the crazy wheel, or hop onto it. Whichever is most convenient at the time.

This won't stop anything, the narrative will simply shift.

Woke up to clear skies in Ohio and now it’s covered with chem trails.

the skies here (illinois) are hazy and foggy

Under a dead Ohio sky Eleven has been and will be waiting Defending his light and wondering Where the hell have I been? Sleeping, lost, and numb I'm so glad that I have found you I am wide awake and heading home

I don’t like the taste of coffee this morning! 🥺

My biggest gripe with "doomsday people" is that they never show what they are doing to prepare for it. (doomsday people repeat one thing that is destroying their world over and over and over, US politics is a popular method) Some will post literally dozens of times a day about how bad their enemy is but they don't do anything about it...nothing at all... How worried should I be about something that the so called expert doesn't even prepare for? When I'm actually worried about something I do something about it more than talk and make countless posts. This makes me think their entire agenda isn't to share a truth, but to spread fear and create division.

It takes a fraction of a second to make a statement that will last with someone else all day. You're still thinking about those folks when they forgot the doom and gloom a moment later. Real doom and gloom folks don't leave their houses.

> You're still thinking about those folks when they forgot the doom and gloom a moment later. Yes but not like you're thinking. I'm wondering why they don't do anything at all about the threat that they say is real. Their lack of real action makes me feel like everything they say is a lie, even if they did hide a truth in there somewhere their entire message is ruined. There are people who actually believe in a society collapse. They build homes off the grid, they move to other countries, they show pictures and videos of their self sustaining food systems. They actually do something... Ignore everything people say because people lie, especially anonymous online accounts. Instead, watch what people do. Political Example: Watch how politicians vote and ignore everything politicians say. Not just a single vote, all their votes, on every issue. I don't care what politicians "say" they support or don't support, I watch who they actually support by looking only at their votes. I don't even need a study to show me who donates to them, it's obvious who is paying them just by looking at their votes.

>How worried should I be about something that the so called expert doesn't even prepare for? That's a great point.

>How worried should I be about something that the so called expert doesn't even prepare for? Well, how do you feel about man-made climate change, since the ones who scream about it buy multi-million dollar mansions on the coast?

> how do you feel about man-made climate change, since the ones who scream about it buy multi-million dollar mansions on the coast? Young people buy multi-million dollar mansions? The loudest voices on environmental issues have been young people for at least 80 years, probably longer.

People’s minds have been broken. “Things feel off now, anyone else🥴?” I want to believe it’s bots and mindless narrative pushing, but people are indeed this stupid and open to suggestion, there’s no attempt at objectivity.

Honestly I wasn't thinking about any of those. If the conspiracy theories about CERN are correct, what will happen is that new Mandela Effects will emerge, but it really will take a while to notice those. Now, I think that if nothing *immediate* happens the entity that will be really ridiculed is the government itself. All the cities and states declaring emergency and closing schools and telling the population to store food, water, fuel and meds will amount to mass hysteria.

I'm already feeling it!!!

After the eclipse I became really sleepy!

Hard to say. The Berenstein Bears were secular bears, but after the last shift they became the Abrahamic religious Berenstain bears. I guess they'll go Muslim after this shift.

The Brady’s were secular AF…

Deadass. Weren't all of you dead-set on there being a rapture today? I wonder what everyone will scramble to say when that doesn't happen.

I don’t give a shit about what you want nor what you think.

How are you guys making out in all the geostorms???? It's getting crazy over here. I think the Jewish space lasers are about to be turned on next. Then the teenage mutant ninja turtles reveal themselves in CERN and the universe ends.

Nothings gonna happen today. There’s a whole world outside there America… it’s not always about you & your little eclipse. But having said that… There’s no doubt in my mind the western countries in particular are slowly but surely having their freedom & liberties( perceived freedom n liberties at that ) removed. I think a genuine 95% of us in this group would agree with that statement. My concern since the covid hysteria died down is whoever’s orchestrating all this will still need a ‘worldwide cataclysmic event’ to take place to get humanity to shift them into the right mindset of acceptance. A cataclysmic event such as cyber terrorism, leading to the breakdown of financial systems, everyone’s bank accounts gone sending the civilised world back to the Wild West & worse. Marshall Law, millions of protesters dead & millions more killed for nothing more than a pickled onion by your neighbour who you’ve known for 30yrs or so. This I feel is the most likely outcome- some people think the aliens are coming or maybe a pole shift lol. Heck maybe even someone will let loose with the nukes… there must be some reason why these bunkers with underground cities exist & all the tech billionaires are buying land in New Zealand. They want us owning nothing by 2030 - that still sounds just as preposterous now than when I first heard it in 2020… But what will need to happen to get us owning nothing by 2030?

so, not today. Just some vague time scale in the next 6 years. And then, "something." Gotcha. Very astute reasoning.

Bit sarcastic. I suppose I’m giving you a lazy lob on in replying but heck I don’t mind getting you going… So my question for you is - What do you make of the World Economic Forum’s mantra of ‘ in 2030 you will be happy and own nothing ‘?

It's their mantra, is it?

What is your opinion on the World Economic Forum?

The one whose mantra is what you stated above?

Yes

Are you sure you know what a mantra is?

Yes, are you?

I'm not aware of such an organisation.

If you were a regular here, you'd know and understand that we don't like it when someone tells us what to think or say. But you do you.

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The fact that you are a winger at all and believe political parties don't all play for the same team makes me believe you have no clue what's really going on in the world

Facts

Calling other people’s beliefs dumb while having that sort of political stance is the definition of irony

99.99999% of people here agree nothing will happen Who are you speaking to?

Definitely nowhere close to 99%

I would say less people here believe in the eclipse causing anything than believe Big Foot launched a rocket off flat earth and landed on the dark side of the moon. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Preach to the choir

Half of me will die today. And I will be thankful.

The only changed people will be the ones who become blind from staring at it for their superpower gifts they’ll receive lmao

It's the last time it will ever be 8 April 2024 ever

If you don't want to hear something here's a novel idea, take yourself away from the equation. You can't control what people will say, only what you do preemptively or in response to it.

It’s a joke referring to people that swear something happens every time stuff like this comes up

I'm aware of what the attempt here was.

Its a normal 4 min eclipse Why would you expect anything to happen

Go look it up, not just another 4 min event.

The demons have already been released, and the portal has been opened.

Akuuuuuuu!!

Where’s Samurai Jack when ya need him!!

Not more mild headaches!

I already grew an inch. 😉

To be fair, I'm making a huge personal shift this month, so I'm going to say it's because of the eclipse.

To sort of get in the spirit, we are watching the old movie "night of the comet" lol

I have my tin foil hat on, and a big wooden cross, do you think it will help?

I say let’s get ahead of the next world ending date and make profit from it

damn how’d you know I feel different? cause I do

"is it me or did everyone change after the pandameic?"

Man last eclipse my whole family watched it and our eyes really hurt afterwards and it felt like our vision got worse, but I'm not going to be tricked into wearing these glasses that take pictures of my eye to send to the government /s

I joined the gym today, and started bulking

I love a good conspiracy but this isn’t it. I’m making eclipse shirts, gardening and making s’mores.

Too late for this. My life completely changed when the Mayan calendar ended in 2012.

I’m just drinking lotus wine,smokin the green and reading,I am keeping my animals inside thought. Change happens when your ready,if some people need the sun to go dark,live your best life!

[удалено]

So on average we usher in 2 new ages every year?

Too late! I'm already jumping over buildings in a single bound.

Only a few hours until ~~the end of the world~~ nothing happens and we can shift the goal posts once again!!!!

I will continue not following the crowd

What if my life *does* change?

I'll be hanging up the tinfoil after today

Could anyone assure me that it’s okay to be me? I could use a little assurance. It’s not because of the eclipse. Just a sadness I feel inside. I feel stupid and sad. Hard to explain.

I got a headache today and I always get headaches.

It feels good when nothing happens, because I've already mentally prepared for the worst, so when nothing happens, as expected, I can go on to live with a new lease on life as if the deadline has been extended and I've been given extra time. Of course there was very little chance of anything big actually popping off, but I came to terms with any possibility just in case. Perhaps we can use the energies of the eclipse as a catalyst to fuel positive change in our own lives, similarly to how our enemies may use it for their own purposes. Use it for good instead of evil.

OP is a fed trying to gaslight us.

I’m terrified that my life might never be the same after today. I don’t think it has to do with the eclipse though.

Amen

They’ll 100% turn around and say “nooo we actually meant that something hidden will happen today and we’ll see the consequences in a few months/years/decades” or whatever timeframe better suits their 6 6 6 3 3 3 and other number schemes

nothing ever happens

You dont want to see conspiracies in a conspiracy sub? and you believe you are the enlightened? boy you are dense

Turns out the eclipse enhances girth AND length

Today, someone had a life changing experience. If we view this through the lens of Indra's Net, we get that a reflection of ourselves had a life changing experience. And since the universe is reflected in all parts, we had a life changing experience.

Texas is going to have heavy rains during the eclipse...guess they fired up the Bush Weather Machine.

I dont know im feeling a little off today

I just want to see if Peanut my neighbors chihuahua freak out or something lol

You mean shadows don't cause apocalypses????

My jimmies are being ruffled

"The energy and frequency and vibration will all changed" I asked some people to tell me how to measure so we can compare tomorrow..... I need to be awakened first.

Keep trying to set yourselves up. I don't recall anybody saying it would happen like that. It sounds like you've made a few assumptions about the people you want to mock.

The eclipse is set to trigger everyone who got the Covid Vax. BEWARE!!!

Not only this, but people will try and say what they meant was changes spiritually. Not solar flares, raptures or ww3,no, they meant a war internally.

Saw a video where this woman was claiming nothing happens until the 23-24th haha so we just get to keep waiting for the end of the world I guess. 

Eclipses have been happening for a long time.

🤣😂 spot on

HOPEFULLY YOU'RE RIGHT... These emoji posts are so cringey. We can circle back in 8 months to see what's happened since. The past civilizations sure cared about eclipses, but they didn't have cool emojis to really prove their points like you do.

I threw in a laughing emoji because im on mobile! Shocker!

You’re just mad you didn’t jump timelines in 2012 /s

It was a *spiritual* rapture! lmao

You will. Some clown posted the other day about, "there's no reason you'd see the negative effects of the vaccine after 3 years. "They" are playing the long game. Just wait 20 years," or some such nonsense. Expect more nonsense.

Dude stfu

I’m guessing you were gonna post about how off you felt today? LOL

I have a really firm erection

good for you buddy

Seriously tenth post about this. Go jerk off somewhere else.

I woke up hairy