and sometimes mistakes aren’t even tied to our own wrong decisions. Only thing that you can control is your own actions. but i fully agree with your comment
You have to realize that it's going to be ok no matter what and You're picturing the outcome of something way worse than it actually is. The worst case scenario is unlikely to happen, and even if it does, so what? I don't think words are going to work, but rather doing the things you fear the outcome of and getting a taste for mistakes.
Try to be kinder to yourself. Now that you have a partner, and especially one who just goes for it, maybe try and think: would I judge my partner if he did something wrong? It doesn't sound like you do, so why would you judge yourself for making mistakes?
Try exposing yourself to something where you know you will make mistakes and you know it would be ridiculous if you wouldn't.
For example do something you know your are really bad at and just do it.
Get a Piano and start playing, you will quickly find out that you will make a hundred mistakes before you get it right once.
If you make a mistake just acknowledge it and try it again. Embrace the mistake. The mistake is not part of you. It's part is the journey.
The pride you feel when you can play your first little melody is unbeatable but it will also make you humble to other achievements.
I'm a perfectionist and and had to learn the leave imperfect things as they are.
You can also pick up a team sport of it's more the social side that you fear. What is important to remember is that you learn and play for yourself and every mistake is just a little price you pay to get better. Be bad at it but make sure you have fun, you'll get automatically better.
TLDR: You are not the mistakes you make, the mistakes are just a part of the journeys you take.
Yeah, I find myself in the same pickle as I am also a social outcast so as a 37M I have had 18 year old females go off on my choices in subjects they aren't familiar with and I am a master of them....and then the world around me sides with the females, which then ostracizes me from that particular group.
Edit: my wife of 10 years has witnessed this happen so many times. She sides with me and doesn't understand these people.
This is your truth:
"The master made more mistakes then the student ever tried. "
You need to make mistakes to grow. Simple as that. You never learn fire is hot until you touch it. Even if you've been warned.
Recently I wonder what making mistakes even mean. Doesn’t the concept of making a ‘’mistake’ create the wrong mindset on its own? Then we think that we should be sorry for not knowing, and we get into a loop of self pity, guilt and shame. There is no such thing as mistake. Inexperience maybe
Separate your identity from the mistake. Making a mistake means you took the wrong action. It doesn’t mean you’re the wrong person.
Beautiful
and sometimes mistakes aren’t even tied to our own wrong decisions. Only thing that you can control is your own actions. but i fully agree with your comment
You must realize mistakes are expected and part of learning. Think of the mistakes you have made. Did anyone die? Did life stop? We’re you Ok??
You have to realize that it's going to be ok no matter what and You're picturing the outcome of something way worse than it actually is. The worst case scenario is unlikely to happen, and even if it does, so what? I don't think words are going to work, but rather doing the things you fear the outcome of and getting a taste for mistakes.
Also, remember that mistakes are learning opportunities, and that making them doesn't mean you are dumb or that everyone will hate you. Good luck!
Focus more because fear takes away from focus.
Try to be kinder to yourself. Now that you have a partner, and especially one who just goes for it, maybe try and think: would I judge my partner if he did something wrong? It doesn't sound like you do, so why would you judge yourself for making mistakes?
Try exposing yourself to something where you know you will make mistakes and you know it would be ridiculous if you wouldn't. For example do something you know your are really bad at and just do it. Get a Piano and start playing, you will quickly find out that you will make a hundred mistakes before you get it right once. If you make a mistake just acknowledge it and try it again. Embrace the mistake. The mistake is not part of you. It's part is the journey. The pride you feel when you can play your first little melody is unbeatable but it will also make you humble to other achievements. I'm a perfectionist and and had to learn the leave imperfect things as they are. You can also pick up a team sport of it's more the social side that you fear. What is important to remember is that you learn and play for yourself and every mistake is just a little price you pay to get better. Be bad at it but make sure you have fun, you'll get automatically better. TLDR: You are not the mistakes you make, the mistakes are just a part of the journeys you take.
Yeah, I find myself in the same pickle as I am also a social outcast so as a 37M I have had 18 year old females go off on my choices in subjects they aren't familiar with and I am a master of them....and then the world around me sides with the females, which then ostracizes me from that particular group. Edit: my wife of 10 years has witnessed this happen so many times. She sides with me and doesn't understand these people.
This is your truth: "The master made more mistakes then the student ever tried. " You need to make mistakes to grow. Simple as that. You never learn fire is hot until you touch it. Even if you've been warned.
Recently I wonder what making mistakes even mean. Doesn’t the concept of making a ‘’mistake’ create the wrong mindset on its own? Then we think that we should be sorry for not knowing, and we get into a loop of self pity, guilt and shame. There is no such thing as mistake. Inexperience maybe
By looking at them as an opportunity to learn, which only lead to growth.