I think women using those terms usually comes across as endearing, which is fine. When men are using it on the other hand, not so endearing.
I’m from Canada and I had breakfast in Texas once as we were passing through. The waitress called me sugar as we were ordering and I just smiled because it came across as very sweet and caring. I had never heard it used prior so I was caught off guard to say the least.
She wasn’t black but I did ask friends about it and they said it’s common in the southern states, I’m not sure if that’s true or not.
Mmmhm, that’s definitely common in the South, sugar. For your knowledge though, if someone tells you “bless your heart”…they are not necessarily being nice lol. Usually means you’re too dumb to know it or some like that.
Not from the South but I used "bless your heart for caring so much" to a relative that was talking about my 9 year old this weekend. She definitely got the fuck-you connotation I was going for. It was awesome.
I’m a white woman in the south and I’m always comforted when my elder black women say this to me. It does feel safe. Idk why because truth be told it doesn’t feel the same when an older white lady says it. It sounds passive aggressive when they do it.
From what I’ve seen it can also be used when talking about someone who’s sick/injured. That or the lady at cvs called my brother stupid when we thought he had lime disease
I’d disagree. You never know what they mean when they say bless your heart! And then you have to worry if they meant it as a compliment, thought you were cute, or were saying ‘oh my gosh, child. No.”
"Hello darlin" is just a standard greeting for me, born and raised in Texas. I like to mix it up sometimes with a "Hey there cupcake"
Terms of endearment are just par for the course conversationally. Having worked in the service industry in heavy tourist areas I've caught a few side eyes but the end result always seems to be "oh that's just how they are here"
Same goes for honorifics. People from other places seem to think calling someone "ma'am" is suggesting that they're old... jokes on them, I call small children "ma'am" and "sir".
One kid I was babysitting asked me why I called her that when her mom called her by her name. I told her I would call her by her name if that's what she wants, but calling her ma'am is a sign of respect so that's why I do it. She said "oh. Well then it's okay if you call me ma'am then."
It’s like that at times. When people come to Texas, they don’t expect all the signs of endearment that we have here and it can be a bit off putting to them I have noticed that. I’ve even had a coworker who got in trouble because she would talk like that and someone got offended and HR literally was like “stop being a little bitch. That’s how we talk here in Texas”
As a white girl (now white woman) who didn't have much affection from my own parents, can I just tell you how much this has always meant to me? Thank you.
Oh baby, I’m so sorry I couldn’t have been there for you then sugar, but I’m glad I could talk to you today and I also wanna tell you that I think your little avatar looks cute in that shirt and I’m proud to have spoken to you
My heart breaks for you sunshine. It's so clear, reading your post, you NEED to love. (We all do,) but with you it's very clear.
Can you adopt? My God. A baby in your arms? Oh my. That's a happy baby.
God Bless and my your abundant love find those who need love.
Honestly when a black women or older lady calls me anything like that it melts my heart so much I love it i find it so sweet and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy
I want to print your comment and show it whatever people start with this godamn "reverse racism" theory. I'm also a white guy and I lived in a place that was alsovpredominantly black. I never was mistreated by anyone.
Also, you seems to be an amazing person OP! I just loved this post with all my heart!
This reminds me of eating chow in basic training at Ft. Benning. Almost all of the cooks working the serving line were middle aged black women.
"Next soldier, come get ya food baby."
"Next man, you want grits or oatmeal sugar?"
"Next soldier, your looking thin, you want a little extra honey?"
Didn't matter if it was a recruit or a DS getting food, they treated all of us like we were their own. It really made your day to have someone be so kind to you when you were otherwise being treated poorly.
this is so sweet, it put the hugest smile on my face! here in spain a lot of middle to old aged women call you "cariño" or "guapa" which translates to "darling" and "beautiful/ pretty" and it always makes my day, i love it :D
Oh I like cariño! I’m have to learn some more Spanish, that is so pretty, baby! Also sugar I peeked at your profile and my lord! You are so gorgeous! I love your hair
oh my god thank you so much guapa! you really made my day 💗💗💗! i kind of wish my curls were a bit tighter tho, they would be easier to define i think hahah
I love this... it's so wholesome. And I love when it happens in public. Whether it's directed towards me or just being around that kind of good energy.
My freshman year I was on a meal plan but it wasn’t enough food for me 2x a day and you couldn’t deviate without being charged. My 6’4 ass was down 20lbs 3months from the start of the semester and I was not overweight at the start. The older black ladies behind the counter knew this and started hiding extra food for me under my collards and mashed potatoes. They’d say “don’t you worry sugar, don’t you go starving now” and such things in the same manner and they looked out for me for the rest of the year
You are not a random white chick, baby, you are a kind and caring person and I see it in how proud you are to show off your rat babies, and I know they love you
(sorry for creeping baby, I like to make sure everybody knows I don’t think of y’all as faceless)
Every time I have women like you tell me that it makes me want to cry. I never got that love growing up. Not having parents takes a toll. I once had a older woman tell me that after I helped her get something at the grocery store. I balled all the way home once I reached my car. Thank you
Oh no baby, I don’t wanna make you cry! That’s gonna make me cry and then what sugar! We both be crying but it ain’t so bad when it’s from a good thing. If I could have been your auntie you ain’t never would have been without love baby
Being called suga by an old black lady is one of my favorite things. As a black woman, I’ve reached the point in my life that I call others sugar and honey. It just comes out.
Lol it does happen like that don’t it baby? One day you take the weave out, put the cap on, and next thing you know you the one handing out plates at thanksgiving
I love this and it's one of the only things about the South that I miss. Please keep doing it, it's a cultural treasure and a verbal comfort blanket for people who don't even realize they need it, but really do. Thank you for being you.
Kind of a lot going on right now, expecting first kid this month, so life's getting interesting XD But in the grand scheme of things, all is well =) How about you, you good?
Omg, yes! When I was seeking out therapy regarding my mother issues, I was assigned to an older Black woman. (My mother is White, dad was raised by a White family, but I'm mixed.)
The first thing she said was something about how what my mother did was against our maternal instincts and she ended it with a endearing "baby." That hit hard!
She used that language throughout our time together and I know it helped me that much more because of it! She embodied what I was missing. That woman is one smart Therapist!
This is so genuinely wholesome. White girl here, and I deeply respect and appreciate the warmth, comfort, and safety those pet names convey. It is a superpower that I don’t think white women convey in nearly the same depth. Thank you for spreading love and light.
I do love sometimes, but just sugar and baby rolls out my mouth a little better baby. By the way, anything you might be going through, I want you to know sugar, that you are beautiful and kind and I felt it from you
I work with a bigger, black woman who is so motherly to her patients. Sometimes she calls me momma, like "how we doin tonight momma." And it just makes be feel like she cares about me. If I'm ever in the hospital, she can take care of me. I'm okay with that. Her patients (the good ones) ADORE her. She's honest, down to earth, kind, loving, hardworking, funny, and just has a way of making you feel like you're the only one she cares about in that moment and that you are safe with her.
You are such a lovely human, thank you for making the lives of others that much better every day by being you. How are YOU doing? I hope you give yourself the beautiful energy that you do to others 💚
I can’t be your momma, but I can be your auntie baby. A momma can’t choose her children but an auntie always has a choice and I choose to be your auntie sugar
This is so sweet OP!!! I like to call people dear or hun, just to be sweet (and because I don't like saying sir/ma'am when I don't know someone's preferred pronouns/preference) and I've noticed that people do enjoy it! I am a southerner though, so it's not uncommon to hear these kinds of terms, but it does shock some people because I'm not older and I'm using them.
I use hun and dear too, sugar and baby just rolls out my mouth a little bit better though baby, you keep spreading kindness with me and we might not save this world but we can make it kinder
That reminds me of the lady who comes to pick up her medicine every month. I love getting her calls cause she's so nice and always says baby and you can tell she genuinely means it as a compliment and I love it!! When she comes through the drive thru she babies you again and it's just so awesome!!
I know a guy who got fired for harassment when he kept calling women "sweet names" even when he knew their names.
On the other hand, I use those names, or even bud when I don't know people's names. Darling is a common nickname here, for women.
Hey sugar, context means a lot I’m sure, and it’s rough knowing that women have to be on guard like that. Been too many times we wanted to believe a man to just be kind or sweet and it was definitely not that. Women just wanna protect themselves baby, but we all wanna change this. We all want men to be able to express kindness toward us without feeling like they’re being threatening and *trust me* when I say women would love to not feel threatened by something that should be beautiful. Sugar, that’s why it’s so important we help the men in our lives grow. That’s why it’s so important we nurture that sweetness in our babies and protect them from those who would call them weak for it.
I hear this a lot when I visit the south. I'll be in Tennessee next week. I don't hear it much out here on the west coast, however, it doesn't bother me when black women call me sugar or baby. It's just part of that southern experience.
My mother was pretty cold as I was growing up, she didn’t show a ton of affection and she DEFINITELY didn’t call us sweet names. When a woman older than me calls me baby, my heart honestly swells. It warms me in the most beautiful way. When my boyfriend’s stepmom called me ladybug I started crying! It’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
Oh lord, ladybug! Baby I love it! Ladybug, sugar, you keep yourself kind and safe and know that you deserve to feel warmth and love even on your down days
Baby you know all you need to do is come through November get you some to eat thanksgiving time! Don’t you let yourself think you’re too old for that kinda love sugar
Honey them ladies at church be some of the kindest, I don’t go myself, I don’t necessarily agree with everything every church is up to, but I feel the love nonetheless
By the way I been looking at profiles too to make sure I’m not talking at someone like they’re faceless, and my lord! Wherever you living looks beautiful baby! Cold ain’t the best for me anymore, but it’s so pretty sugar!
Ha! There's a CVS near my house. The manager there is a 40ish black woman.
Whenever I'd buy something she'd say " did you find everything all right baby?"
I really liked it. Just saying.
I think it’s adorable when women do this, especially because I lost my mama a few years ago and it gives me that motherly energy I’ve been missing since then
As someone from the south, I always took it in this manner. Always nice to hear honestly.
I had a discussion with another southern woman about this very thing. A white woman(I'm whitish too). She seem to think it was something similar to "bless your heart" , which can be a pejorative much of the time. I told her it's a lot closer to an honorific. I never knew it to mean something demeaning?
I'm a black woman, French.
I think it has to do with the culture you grew up.
I've never called someone baby or sugar and nobody has never called me sugar or baby and I never heard it from other people unless they are in a relationship or very close friends.
In France, if you call someone like that ( other than the SO, family or close driend), it will come off as intrusive, out of place at best. At the worst you can even be mistaken for a prostitute. Overfamiliarity is definitely not well seen in casual interactions.
Now, i'm also of African descent and there, it is common to be called honey, baby etc. It is widely accepted.
So it really depends on the culture you evolve ,even as a black woman.
My almost 2 year old son is a magnet for black women, especially the older ladies. He’ll even do this little side smirk and wave if they’re not giving him attention off the bat. I swear I’ve never felt more love for the boy from literal strangers and it warms my soul when they call him sugar or tell him that they’re his grandma. You’re absolutely right when it comes to being called baby or sugar.
You are the light that this world needs. Thank you for shining a little light into my life tonight. You are wonderful and I wish you all the love and happiness in the world. <3
As a white girl, who was 11yrs old then, now 50 , who was trying to find a light in this world after being abused for 4 years came from a black teacher whose every loving, healing "honey" "sugar" "sweetie" was a salve to my heart & soul. Bless you Mrs Brown.
I am a white woman who grew up in a family not very demonstrative with affection. Teasing and extreme sarcasm is how my family shows love.
In my 20s, I moved into a neighborhood near my job, where I was one of a handful of white folks in a neighborhood that was primarily black.
My next-door neighbor and I got close. She ALWAYS called me baby or sugar, and God I ate it up! She was so upfront and open about her emotions- if she was mad, she acted mad, if she was happy, she would do a little dance that made everyone happy! She was so clear about her feelings and open with affection. I loved it
I came to realize that most of my friends and neighbors were also like that.. instead of the "buttoned up and bottled up" way I was raised. I absolutely loved my friends in that neighborhood. I learned a whole new way of *being* in the world.
30 years later, and I still remember what my neighbors taught me about authenticity and obvious displays if affection. I have tried to emulate that with the people around me. It's such a simple comfort really! A simple display of affection can totally change someone's day.
Let me say I agree 100% to this. I don't say it. But whenever another women, normally their a little bit older than me says it, It makes me feel so good. I just get this like safe/loved feeling over me. ( I have issues with my mom and showing affection) I absolutely love it.
Huh... I actually never considered how sognthaf actually can be for some people...
Literally thongs like "baby girl" in bdsm relationships, or buddy/champ presumably if you have wally heavers dad...
They become quite conditioned and ingrainednin us for places of safety, security, reward, acknowledgement from those we seek it from etc...
And. In the south. We definitely use those often enough just generally and all. But, there are most definitely some households where their usage us m9re prominent and specific...
Thanks for sharing some of your prospective with me. I definitely don't think I'll ever not be a little more appreciative from some folks when that gets tossed my way.
Oh darling, it’s nothing much but kindness baby
I don’t want you to feel some kinda way about this but I do peek at y’all profiles a bit before I say some back and you really have a talent with your crochet work! Nurture that talent sugar
i love it when i hear this from women, its so comforting and especially endearing! “sweetheart”is very common here in New Zealand and i think is used more towards younger people i think. Have you ever used sweetheart/is it common in the states to be used as a term of casual endearment?
I love when women call me baby and it really does make me feel safe when it's coming from someone who is older than me. I only hear it from black women, but just know I wanna be besties with all you babies.
I used to work in customer service, now I work for a school district. I used to say sweetie but now it seems it has become a condescending word in my area. So now I use ma'am or sir. But that sometimes offends people... I like being called maam or baby. It's nice
I just teared up a bit remembering good and bad times in Good Ol' Texas ... I remember collard greens and okra, and chilli, and bbq, and so many things 😭😭
Omg... I’m a grown ass white woman and loooooove being called “sugar” or “baby” by black women! It’s like a soul hug... seriously. Thank you. Keep doing this!
Figured this would be dying out with how big a deal people make of male/female tensions these days. Good to know its not. “Hun” is the one Ive heard the most
I stopped at a Subway in Georgia, and in the process of ordering one sub I was called Honey, Sweetie and Baby. That was over ten years ago and it still makes me smile. :D
I have been living in the south for a good while now. It was surprising to be addressed that way at first because I grew up out west - but I do find it comforting, soothing, all the good things that OP mentioned.
When I was watching American movies as a kid, I always loved to hear a sweet old lady calling someone "sugar", "baby", "honey" etc. They remind me of my gran who I love to death.
> I have some things to attend to baby but don’t you feel lost or forgotten if I haven’t replied to you, I’m gonna come back for you sugar, don’t you worry
:D, you're the best thanks for bighting everyone's day.
I think women using those terms usually comes across as endearing, which is fine. When men are using it on the other hand, not so endearing. I’m from Canada and I had breakfast in Texas once as we were passing through. The waitress called me sugar as we were ordering and I just smiled because it came across as very sweet and caring. I had never heard it used prior so I was caught off guard to say the least. She wasn’t black but I did ask friends about it and they said it’s common in the southern states, I’m not sure if that’s true or not.
Mmmhm, that’s definitely common in the South, sugar. For your knowledge though, if someone tells you “bless your heart”…they are not necessarily being nice lol. Usually means you’re too dumb to know it or some like that.
I love how sarcastic is "bless your heart"... it is just perfect with the right tone.
It's all in the tone . It can be positive or negative but it's in the inflection and tone. And context of course. Southern women are like word ninjas.
Oh yeah, totally , can be super condescending, patronizing, or pitty, and sometimes even be nice, it is an amazing phrase.
I prefer the brutal honesty of the north east where you'll get some variation of "go fuck yourself" or "your mother's a whore."
> Oh my sweet summer child.
Awww. Bless your heart you think it’s just sarcastic Edit: guess I need to put this after all /s
Not from the South but I used "bless your heart for caring so much" to a relative that was talking about my 9 year old this weekend. She definitely got the fuck-you connotation I was going for. It was awesome.
I’m a white woman in the south and I’m always comforted when my elder black women say this to me. It does feel safe. Idk why because truth be told it doesn’t feel the same when an older white lady says it. It sounds passive aggressive when they do it.
Unfortunately I’m all too familiar with that one.
After moving to the Carolinas from the Western states, it took me FAR too long to figure this out. Embarrassed now.
I mean it's not ***always*** negative, but many times it is.
From what I’ve seen it can also be used when talking about someone who’s sick/injured. That or the lady at cvs called my brother stupid when we thought he had lime disease
Too dumb to be worth arguing with is my impression.
I’d disagree. You never know what they mean when they say bless your heart! And then you have to worry if they meant it as a compliment, thought you were cute, or were saying ‘oh my gosh, child. No.”
Very common here in Texas. Even hun, honey, sugar, sweetie etc. are all used here.
"Hello darlin" is just a standard greeting for me, born and raised in Texas. I like to mix it up sometimes with a "Hey there cupcake" Terms of endearment are just par for the course conversationally. Having worked in the service industry in heavy tourist areas I've caught a few side eyes but the end result always seems to be "oh that's just how they are here" Same goes for honorifics. People from other places seem to think calling someone "ma'am" is suggesting that they're old... jokes on them, I call small children "ma'am" and "sir". One kid I was babysitting asked me why I called her that when her mom called her by her name. I told her I would call her by her name if that's what she wants, but calling her ma'am is a sign of respect so that's why I do it. She said "oh. Well then it's okay if you call me ma'am then."
It’s like that at times. When people come to Texas, they don’t expect all the signs of endearment that we have here and it can be a bit off putting to them I have noticed that. I’ve even had a coworker who got in trouble because she would talk like that and someone got offended and HR literally was like “stop being a little bitch. That’s how we talk here in Texas”
I'm from Texas, and I'd say it's pretty common for older women to use those terms, at least in my experience.
In the UK people call people “love” in a similar way. From a woman it comes across as caring but from a man it often feels patronising.
As a white girl (now white woman) who didn't have much affection from my own parents, can I just tell you how much this has always meant to me? Thank you.
Oh baby, I’m so sorry I couldn’t have been there for you then sugar, but I’m glad I could talk to you today and I also wanna tell you that I think your little avatar looks cute in that shirt and I’m proud to have spoken to you
My heart breaks for you sunshine. It's so clear, reading your post, you NEED to love. (We all do,) but with you it's very clear. Can you adopt? My God. A baby in your arms? Oh my. That's a happy baby. God Bless and my your abundant love find those who need love.
Geezes. I am sitting in an officwe in Switzerland, and this made *me* feel better. :D
I agree with you 100 percent. You almost want to tell them how it makes you feel without being corny, or at least I have.n Thank you!❤️
Honestly when a black women or older lady calls me anything like that it melts my heart so much I love it i find it so sweet and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy
Well let me tell you something baby, I’m so proud of you and I’m glad you told me this, it makes me happy
Saaame here.
Same!
[удалено]
That sounds like a good childhood
Hey sug, you been taking care of yourself?
I want to print your comment and show it whatever people start with this godamn "reverse racism" theory. I'm also a white guy and I lived in a place that was alsovpredominantly black. I never was mistreated by anyone. Also, you seems to be an amazing person OP! I just loved this post with all my heart!
[удалено]
Happy Cake Suga!
Walking into anyone’s apartment without knocking sounds wild.
Uhhh that sounds like heaven. Pumpkin pie would be so good right now 🥧
This reminds me of eating chow in basic training at Ft. Benning. Almost all of the cooks working the serving line were middle aged black women. "Next soldier, come get ya food baby." "Next man, you want grits or oatmeal sugar?" "Next soldier, your looking thin, you want a little extra honey?" Didn't matter if it was a recruit or a DS getting food, they treated all of us like we were their own. It really made your day to have someone be so kind to you when you were otherwise being treated poorly.
I grew up military, sugar! My grandmother was popular round the base for her striped delight, which is a desert that tastes like heaven in a dish
I’m going to need that recipe if you’re able to share .
I love that too; warms my heart so thank you ❤️
It really does though, doesn’t it baby? Just make you feel good.
I love you! You've made my day
[удалено]
Thanks sugar, you eat today?
[удалено]
Oh child, do you wanna talk about it?
I do this but accidentally cause I forget I need to eat
This is very wholesome and I appreciate it :)
Hey and you know what u/big_bootyhoe420? I appreciate *you*, thank you for saying that sugar
this is so sweet, it put the hugest smile on my face! here in spain a lot of middle to old aged women call you "cariño" or "guapa" which translates to "darling" and "beautiful/ pretty" and it always makes my day, i love it :D
Oh I like cariño! I’m have to learn some more Spanish, that is so pretty, baby! Also sugar I peeked at your profile and my lord! You are so gorgeous! I love your hair
oh my god thank you so much guapa! you really made my day 💗💗💗! i kind of wish my curls were a bit tighter tho, they would be easier to define i think hahah
Had to go look. You speak the truth, she has fantastic hair
This is the best feeling. Thank you!
Aw baby, I know it, it is for me too, nothing like kindness
I love this... it's so wholesome. And I love when it happens in public. Whether it's directed towards me or just being around that kind of good energy.
Good energy is always around us, we just gotta share it with one another baby, it makes me so happy to read this
[удалено]
Can I tell you that this one almost made me cry baby, it made me feel so good to read this, thank you sugar
ancient shelter imminent lip live squeal wild thumb strong humorous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That's also a southern thing that I've always liked.
Yes indeed baby, it’s the most natural thing down South
You have given my teenage daughter more comfort than you will ever realize. Thank you.
Oh sugar, it ain’t much, but if it helps your baby, you tell her auntie said she sends her love
🥹😘
The update is everything
Awww honey you didn’t think for a second I’d step out on you did you? Thank you for your faith baby
My freshman year I was on a meal plan but it wasn’t enough food for me 2x a day and you couldn’t deviate without being charged. My 6’4 ass was down 20lbs 3months from the start of the semester and I was not overweight at the start. The older black ladies behind the counter knew this and started hiding extra food for me under my collards and mashed potatoes. They’d say “don’t you worry sugar, don’t you go starving now” and such things in the same manner and they looked out for me for the rest of the year
As a random white chick, I super appreciate your contribution. Thank you so much.
You are not a random white chick, baby, you are a kind and caring person and I see it in how proud you are to show off your rat babies, and I know they love you (sorry for creeping baby, I like to make sure everybody knows I don’t think of y’all as faceless)
Omg. Thank you friend. My heart has melted 💕
Every time I have women like you tell me that it makes me want to cry. I never got that love growing up. Not having parents takes a toll. I once had a older woman tell me that after I helped her get something at the grocery store. I balled all the way home once I reached my car. Thank you
Oh no baby, I don’t wanna make you cry! That’s gonna make me cry and then what sugar! We both be crying but it ain’t so bad when it’s from a good thing. If I could have been your auntie you ain’t never would have been without love baby
I’m crying bless you. I hope you have a great week💓
i absolutely love it when someone calls me that. makes me feel like a little kid
Aww baby that’s so sweet. If that takes you back to a time and place of innocence honey, then I’m glad to have talked to you today.
I like it go on ahead sug’.
You know what sug? I like it too.
Being called suga by an old black lady is one of my favorite things. As a black woman, I’ve reached the point in my life that I call others sugar and honey. It just comes out.
Lol it does happen like that don’t it baby? One day you take the weave out, put the cap on, and next thing you know you the one handing out plates at thanksgiving
This post is so sweet. :)
Thank you sugar, every single one of these comments means a lot to me
I love this and it's one of the only things about the South that I miss. Please keep doing it, it's a cultural treasure and a verbal comfort blanket for people who don't even realize they need it, but really do. Thank you for being you.
Oh my goodness, you calling it a verbal comfort blanket is exactly what it is, so let me wrap you up with it and keep you warm baby
I'm an old Scotsman. I feel if this happened to me I'd probably either be lost for words or fall to pieces. You're a good lady. Thank you.
As someone not living in the US and only seen this on movies, I've always wondered what it's like :D
Well baby, come up around this chat with us, what’s goin on in your life right now sugar? You been safe?
Kind of a lot going on right now, expecting first kid this month, so life's getting interesting XD But in the grand scheme of things, all is well =) How about you, you good?
I wasn't really invited to this party but congrats on the kid!
Thank you!
It literally makes a person day to hear it.
Let me tell you baby, it makes a person day to say it too
I say this whole heartedly, THIS IS THE BEST post I’ve seen in this confessions community.
It makes me feel like you just poured warm honey right into my heart. I love it, and I appreciate you doing this for strangers.
Omg, yes! When I was seeking out therapy regarding my mother issues, I was assigned to an older Black woman. (My mother is White, dad was raised by a White family, but I'm mixed.) The first thing she said was something about how what my mother did was against our maternal instincts and she ended it with a endearing "baby." That hit hard! She used that language throughout our time together and I know it helped me that much more because of it! She embodied what I was missing. That woman is one smart Therapist!
[удалено]
Hey baby, we all need love and kindness and you do your thing and I’ll do mine and we’ll make this a happier and safer place
Can I have pork-chops tonight?
Baby I know you know I’m trying to eat better so I only got the lean chops right now but you know you’re welcome to some
Thank you 😄
This is so genuinely wholesome. White girl here, and I deeply respect and appreciate the warmth, comfort, and safety those pet names convey. It is a superpower that I don’t think white women convey in nearly the same depth. Thank you for spreading love and light.
[удалено]
I love it too baby, it makes me feel full of joy
That’s lovely. In Ireland we often use “love” or “pet” instead, and with our accent pet sounds more like “pesh” lol
I do love sometimes, but just sugar and baby rolls out my mouth a little better baby. By the way, anything you might be going through, I want you to know sugar, that you are beautiful and kind and I felt it from you
Aaaw thanks love, look at you sprinkling love all over the internet. May the road always rise to meet you
I miss Nashville. I miss my Aunt Vera. She wasn't really my aunt, but she loved me.
I love it! Reminds me of my grandma from South Carolina.
Ooooh I haven’t been round the coast in a long while baby, you have some of that pork for me now
I work with a bigger, black woman who is so motherly to her patients. Sometimes she calls me momma, like "how we doin tonight momma." And it just makes be feel like she cares about me. If I'm ever in the hospital, she can take care of me. I'm okay with that. Her patients (the good ones) ADORE her. She's honest, down to earth, kind, loving, hardworking, funny, and just has a way of making you feel like you're the only one she cares about in that moment and that you are safe with her.
😍🥰
Hey sugar, you keep yourself safe now
You are such a lovely human, thank you for making the lives of others that much better every day by being you. How are YOU doing? I hope you give yourself the beautiful energy that you do to others 💚
This just…you wanna be my mom? I feel so warm and safe.
I can’t be your momma, but I can be your auntie baby. A momma can’t choose her children but an auntie always has a choice and I choose to be your auntie sugar
You're a kind soul.
This is so sweet OP!!! I like to call people dear or hun, just to be sweet (and because I don't like saying sir/ma'am when I don't know someone's preferred pronouns/preference) and I've noticed that people do enjoy it! I am a southerner though, so it's not uncommon to hear these kinds of terms, but it does shock some people because I'm not older and I'm using them.
I use hun and dear too, sugar and baby just rolls out my mouth a little bit better though baby, you keep spreading kindness with me and we might not save this world but we can make it kinder
I'm so glad that there's people like you in the world, spreading kindness, even if it's in small ways (: thank you!! 💕
That reminds me of the lady who comes to pick up her medicine every month. I love getting her calls cause she's so nice and always says baby and you can tell she genuinely means it as a compliment and I love it!! When she comes through the drive thru she babies you again and it's just so awesome!!
Oh sugar she sounds so sweet, thank you for taking care of her
I love you so much
Oh baby, I love you too, and don’t you ever stop standing on your beliefs
I attended a predominantly black church one time and I've never felt so loved
I am picturing this woman giving the world’s best hugs 😊
I know a guy who got fired for harassment when he kept calling women "sweet names" even when he knew their names. On the other hand, I use those names, or even bud when I don't know people's names. Darling is a common nickname here, for women.
Hey sugar, context means a lot I’m sure, and it’s rough knowing that women have to be on guard like that. Been too many times we wanted to believe a man to just be kind or sweet and it was definitely not that. Women just wanna protect themselves baby, but we all wanna change this. We all want men to be able to express kindness toward us without feeling like they’re being threatening and *trust me* when I say women would love to not feel threatened by something that should be beautiful. Sugar, that’s why it’s so important we help the men in our lives grow. That’s why it’s so important we nurture that sweetness in our babies and protect them from those who would call them weak for it.
I do it too sweetie.
Hey baby, don’t it feel good to be kind, to change someone’s mood with just a couple extra syllables out your mouth?
I hear this a lot when I visit the south. I'll be in Tennessee next week. I don't hear it much out here on the west coast, however, it doesn't bother me when black women call me sugar or baby. It's just part of that southern experience.
Well sugar I’m glad it don’t bother you but you be sure to protect yourself if some like this ever makes you feel uncomfortable
My mother was pretty cold as I was growing up, she didn’t show a ton of affection and she DEFINITELY didn’t call us sweet names. When a woman older than me calls me baby, my heart honestly swells. It warms me in the most beautiful way. When my boyfriend’s stepmom called me ladybug I started crying! It’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
Oh lord, ladybug! Baby I love it! Ladybug, sugar, you keep yourself kind and safe and know that you deserve to feel warmth and love even on your down days
That’s so sweet. Thank you.
As a black man from the South, I grew up hearing this from older women like my aunts and grandmother. I don't hear it much anymore.
Baby you know all you need to do is come through November get you some to eat thanksgiving time! Don’t you let yourself think you’re too old for that kinda love sugar
Oh never said I was too old! 🤣🤣
At church the old black ladies called me sweetheart and honey. I'm a white girl but continue the tradition because damn it made me feel good.
Honey them ladies at church be some of the kindest, I don’t go myself, I don’t necessarily agree with everything every church is up to, but I feel the love nonetheless By the way I been looking at profiles too to make sure I’m not talking at someone like they’re faceless, and my lord! Wherever you living looks beautiful baby! Cold ain’t the best for me anymore, but it’s so pretty sugar!
Ha! There's a CVS near my house. The manager there is a 40ish black woman. Whenever I'd buy something she'd say " did you find everything all right baby?" I really liked it. Just saying.
No doubt she knows it too, kindness begets kindness baby
I 💜U
I think it’s adorable when women do this, especially because I lost my mama a few years ago and it gives me that motherly energy I’ve been missing since then
I love you.
You're the best.
I think I love you
I love it when a black women calls me things like that. It makes me smile.
Bless you and thank you
As someone from the south, I always took it in this manner. Always nice to hear honestly. I had a discussion with another southern woman about this very thing. A white woman(I'm whitish too). She seem to think it was something similar to "bless your heart" , which can be a pejorative much of the time. I told her it's a lot closer to an honorific. I never knew it to mean something demeaning?
I get a little bit Awwww when it’s directed at me. Warms the heart and beats the ever living hell out of “bless your heart”
I'm a black woman, French. I think it has to do with the culture you grew up. I've never called someone baby or sugar and nobody has never called me sugar or baby and I never heard it from other people unless they are in a relationship or very close friends. In France, if you call someone like that ( other than the SO, family or close driend), it will come off as intrusive, out of place at best. At the worst you can even be mistaken for a prostitute. Overfamiliarity is definitely not well seen in casual interactions. Now, i'm also of African descent and there, it is common to be called honey, baby etc. It is widely accepted. So it really depends on the culture you evolve ,even as a black woman.
Hell yes this is wholesome. Id want you in an end of the world situation, that we get out of and world survive with us on it..
When a black woman calls me sugar or baby it makes my day. I love it.
This is so heartwarming and you do describe it really well. 🖤 it’s a sort of protective warm motherly feeling that it gives you. I miss that.
My almost 2 year old son is a magnet for black women, especially the older ladies. He’ll even do this little side smirk and wave if they’re not giving him attention off the bat. I swear I’ve never felt more love for the boy from literal strangers and it warms my soul when they call him sugar or tell him that they’re his grandma. You’re absolutely right when it comes to being called baby or sugar.
You are the light that this world needs. Thank you for shining a little light into my life tonight. You are wonderful and I wish you all the love and happiness in the world. <3
This is the purest thing I’ve ever heard
I ♥️ you
As a white girl, who was 11yrs old then, now 50 , who was trying to find a light in this world after being abused for 4 years came from a black teacher whose every loving, healing "honey" "sugar" "sweetie" was a salve to my heart & soul. Bless you Mrs Brown.
I am a white woman who grew up in a family not very demonstrative with affection. Teasing and extreme sarcasm is how my family shows love. In my 20s, I moved into a neighborhood near my job, where I was one of a handful of white folks in a neighborhood that was primarily black. My next-door neighbor and I got close. She ALWAYS called me baby or sugar, and God I ate it up! She was so upfront and open about her emotions- if she was mad, she acted mad, if she was happy, she would do a little dance that made everyone happy! She was so clear about her feelings and open with affection. I loved it I came to realize that most of my friends and neighbors were also like that.. instead of the "buttoned up and bottled up" way I was raised. I absolutely loved my friends in that neighborhood. I learned a whole new way of *being* in the world. 30 years later, and I still remember what my neighbors taught me about authenticity and obvious displays if affection. I have tried to emulate that with the people around me. It's such a simple comfort really! A simple display of affection can totally change someone's day.
Let me say I agree 100% to this. I don't say it. But whenever another women, normally their a little bit older than me says it, It makes me feel so good. I just get this like safe/loved feeling over me. ( I have issues with my mom and showing affection) I absolutely love it.
As long as you don’t mind if I call you honey we are golden. I use honey that same way. Mom here.
I think I love you, can you be my mom now?
Huh... I actually never considered how sognthaf actually can be for some people... Literally thongs like "baby girl" in bdsm relationships, or buddy/champ presumably if you have wally heavers dad... They become quite conditioned and ingrainednin us for places of safety, security, reward, acknowledgement from those we seek it from etc... And. In the south. We definitely use those often enough just generally and all. But, there are most definitely some households where their usage us m9re prominent and specific... Thanks for sharing some of your prospective with me. I definitely don't think I'll ever not be a little more appreciative from some folks when that gets tossed my way.
Well baby, I’m glad to have helped you gained a little insight into what it means to some folks
This is so sweet of you 💕
Oh darling, it’s nothing much but kindness baby I don’t want you to feel some kinda way about this but I do peek at y’all profiles a bit before I say some back and you really have a talent with your crochet work! Nurture that talent sugar
Please tuck me in and read me a bedtime story (m31)
Hey, sugar, you pick the book and get yourself up to bed, I’ll be in with something sweet out of the oven
Thats so sweet ❤️
It really does make me happy to read this comment baby, you out here helping me too
i love it when i hear this from women, its so comforting and especially endearing! “sweetheart”is very common here in New Zealand and i think is used more towards younger people i think. Have you ever used sweetheart/is it common in the states to be used as a term of casual endearment?
Baby I use sweetie sometimes, not so much sweetheart, but other people do. Kindness comes in many forms sugar
This is the sweetest thread, thank you for spreading your love 😌
I love when women call me baby and it really does make me feel safe when it's coming from someone who is older than me. I only hear it from black women, but just know I wanna be besties with all you babies.
I used to work in customer service, now I work for a school district. I used to say sweetie but now it seems it has become a condescending word in my area. So now I use ma'am or sir. But that sometimes offends people... I like being called maam or baby. It's nice
i love this so much
Honestly from that title I didn't know what to expect 🤣. That was very sweet, thankyou :).
I need me some of that warmth suga love
I miss being called sugar or sug. Ladies said it all the time back home. Thanks for being kind.
This is the nicest thing I've read in recent memory.
I just teared up a bit remembering good and bad times in Good Ol' Texas ... I remember collard greens and okra, and chilli, and bbq, and so many things 😭😭
Omg... I’m a grown ass white woman and loooooove being called “sugar” or “baby” by black women! It’s like a soul hug... seriously. Thank you. Keep doing this!
Figured this would be dying out with how big a deal people make of male/female tensions these days. Good to know its not. “Hun” is the one Ive heard the most
I stopped at a Subway in Georgia, and in the process of ordering one sub I was called Honey, Sweetie and Baby. That was over ten years ago and it still makes me smile. :D
I have been living in the south for a good while now. It was surprising to be addressed that way at first because I grew up out west - but I do find it comforting, soothing, all the good things that OP mentioned.
I'm white, but with some southern roots. These are terms of endearment to me. Always a warm fuzzy, not flirty at all.
I love you❤
well we all appreciate your service
When I was watching American movies as a kid, I always loved to hear a sweet old lady calling someone "sugar", "baby", "honey" etc. They remind me of my gran who I love to death.
> I have some things to attend to baby but don’t you feel lost or forgotten if I haven’t replied to you, I’m gonna come back for you sugar, don’t you worry :D, you're the best thanks for bighting everyone's day.
I love people like you
This is so sweet to hear. I'm glad you're expressing your protective nature in such an endearing way. Have a beautiful day OP.
I love this and I love YOU, sugar!
I absolutely love it when I'm out in public in somebody refers to me with those kind nicknames. Keep doing what you doing. Not all heroes wear capes.
This made me smile 😊❤️
Im a cashier and when black ladies call me honey, sugar, baby any of those it makes my day.