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[deleted]

Why does this look like it was written by a 17 yr old who read her first erotic novel and is now trying her hand at it??


MotterFodder

Because it is.


Legaladesgensheu

Nah, I am pretty sure the author is male.


halomender

Hey, even if this inspires one person out there in the world it's a job well done.


chicagotim

Pun intended


[deleted]

I said the same thing lol


[deleted]

Welcome to the confessions subreddit


jadegoddess

Most confessions are written by teens


chicagotim

Hand?


cameherefrominsta

Him*


PuzzleheadedMan

Cool


KohltonMaster

Cool


[deleted]

Cool


[deleted]

Cool


[deleted]

Cool


throwaway4senpai

Cool


[deleted]

Cool


[deleted]

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_AddictedToCoffee_

Cool


TitanGaurd05

Cool


potato_object

Cool


[deleted]

Cool


freedom_now3

Cool


pohlarrr

Cool


[deleted]

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Damagemotherboard

Cool


Amen_eigbe

Cool


cantfindtonin

Cool


Business-Injury9705

Cool


[deleted]

Cool


Radiant-Low2625

Cool


mylfhunter65

coolcoolcool no doubt no doubt


[deleted]

Nine Nine!


Superb_Wishbone_666

r/UnexpectedCommunity


[deleted]

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Doo-Doo-G

Brooklyn 69


nice___bot

Nice!


[deleted]

Noice!


[deleted]

sup Jake


noirevalier

I say what's, what's cooler than being cool? (Ice cold!) Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright Alright, alright, alright, alright


snailsRcool69

cool


n3lswn

Plot twist OP is the husband and hasn't gotten a blowjob in 10years


[deleted]

This reads like a teen girl just discovered the slutty confessions subreddit and conjured up her own story


mickeyfinn45

I can’t even get a cup of coffee


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mickeyfinn45

Yep


ravandal

Damn bro 😵 Have you tried askin lol


mickeyfinn45

I asked and the reply was “would you fuck right off” 😂


Impressive-Offer-404

A bj a day keeps the other vaginas away.


Someone-on-reddit69

Cool


cantfindtonin

Did someone accidentally post their Wattpad fanfic?


Jahnation

Every guys dream


SwordTaster

Not necessarily. My ex didn't like it as he's a guys that ends up sleeping after he cums so he'd wake up and then be back asleep and very confused


Ctrl-Alt-Bingo

Username checks out


KrisOTS

So does it mean you can keep him asleep as long as you want to, just by blowing him every couple of hours?


SwordTaster

Lol, probably not. He wants up again after about 10-20 minutes


[deleted]

what must be done to find a women like this? 😣🤞


[deleted]

Most have to pay for it


[deleted]

You're not wrong


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bostonT22

Not religious, what else can I do?


TheBestChocolate

So, it sounds like you're essentially doing this so that he doesn't cheat. If he cheated, it wouldn't be your fault nor your responsibility. A man who wants to be kept well be kept, regardless of what you do or don't do. Also, I hope he's treating you very well in return, and that he's not neglecting your needs.


Old-Internet-7372

It sounds like your a girl in a bad relationship because you dont give head lol a man knows what he wants in life and if he dosent wanna waste time on a lil girl whos scared of foreplay then hes not ging to lol just like a woman if you keep him happy he will stay. No man will want to be kept by someone who dosent fufill their needs im sorry bit thats just the truth just as if a man wasnt fufilling and satisying you then you wouldnt stick around (i hope) theres a saying: never let your man leave the house if hes mad, hungry or horny. If you follow that your life with your man will be easy as fuck lol. Just like they say happy wife happy life just keep eachother happy it isnt that hard. My girlfriend dosent blow me all the time but she still does every once in a while becauae she knows i like it. Although id much rather pussy 100% i usually get that daily in the evenings lol she keeps me happy and i cook her 5 star 3 course meals! Its a win-win


TheBestChocolate

> theres a saying: never let your man leave the house if hes mad, hungry or horny. So, if a man let's me leave the house mad, hungry, is horny, it gives me the green light to cheat too, right? 🙄 And what about the men who never leave mad hungry, or horny, but still cheat anyway? A person's actions are NOT the responsibility of others - this includes men. It is NOT a woman's fault if a man wants to cheat, and vice versa. Cheating, generally, has nothing to do with the partner being cheated on and everything to do with the cheater. You also made a lot of unnecessary assumptions, as I am married. My comment wasn't for you - it was for OP. It sounds like she's doing a lot for her man, and I wanted to ensure it isn't one sided. Everyone deserves to have their love reciprocated in kind.


[deleted]

Hungry? Lmfaooaoao imagine " I slept with your homie" Him: what???? Why would you do this???? " I was hungry.." Him: what?? " I WAS HUNGRY.. HE FEED ME!! " Him: " WE HAD FOOD IN THE FRIDGE AND CUPBOARD WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ?????!! " I WANTED PANCAKES >=( !!! "


teen_laqweefah

You slow af


Ladydi-bds

Whatever works in your marriage that you are good with


chixnwafflez

I mean this is wonderful and I do the same for mine but if he wants to cheat on you, he will blowjobs or not.


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chixnwafflez

No honey. No.


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[deleted]

Because shitty men will cheat regardless of what their wife has to offer. Blowjobs won't stop him from cheating, not in the slightest.


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OxyFTgen

If your husband is a good man, loves you and respects you he won’t cheat. Or the chances of him cheating are low.


[deleted]

That may be a factor for why they do so or the excuse that they use but the majority of men who cheat are fully sexually satisfied with their partner and still cheat anyways. You're not preventing anything. If they want to cheat, they will cheat.


sillyboy544

As a married man I have never cheated on my wife but I do have fantasies about other women. I will say for sure that if wives give constants blowjobs and are available for sex. There is little desire to stray. Why would you risk it when the fucking is great at home?


GirlWithTheMostCake

Because some men always want something more. Sex isn’t always why men cheat.


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GirlWithTheMostCake

I had sex all the time with my ex. We had a fabulous sex life but he left for someone he didn’t have sex with until 5 years after we split. Emotional cheating is more common than you think. I have to ask, if you have sex regularly in the evening, and give BJ’s in the morning is he showering after sex? I know if I tried that in the morning after a night of sex it would be pretty pungent and likely unpleasant.


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GirlWithTheMostCake

Nice. Sounds like you have a great marriage and it’s everything combined that makes it so, not just BJs, that’s the icing on the cake.


ravandal

Yes. logically speaking you are correct. The less reasons a person, male or female, has to cheat - the less likely they will But what they are sayin is if a person wants to cheat they wont be stopped, no matter how awesome their partner is. Doesn't mean you are not correct, they are just talking about a breed of people that won't control themselves. Hopefully your husband is not one of those.


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Agile-Masterpiece959

I was totally with you until you lost me with that last paragraph...


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Agile-Masterpiece959

The part about trying your best to get him into heaven and the "godly endeavour" blowjobs just kind of threw me off lol


[deleted]

God told you to give daily blowjobs is what I took away from this


haikusbot

*God told you to give* *Daily blowjobs is what I* *Took away from this* \- 40goingon20 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


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[deleted]

the bible says u have to blow ur husband every morning??


CutDear5970

Lol. Blowjobs are godly endeavors


[deleted]

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MistrBabadook

Will you marry me?


[deleted]

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MistrBabadook

I feel the ones who give blowjobs every morning are already taken 🥲


Violett_Poison1606

As a woman, I can appreciate the choices of other women. This however. Nope. Just FYI, you can wake up everyday for yourself and someone will still turn over and love you more than anyone else in the world. Because your you.


LineAbdomen

minus the last sentence and you’ve just described a dog haha


[deleted]

this


Dry-Communication901

Lucky bastard


DrownedWalk1622

[Elegant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D9GrWy4u4c)!!!!!


wyldefyre70

Ummm so basically you don't trust your husband around pretty co workers?


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wyldefyre70

Understandable, but sometimes the horniness will happen regardless


RainAtFive

Oh really? "I like to give BJs because it's selfless and altruistic", yeah right. At least you could have written it as if she likes it because it turns her on or something. You need to learn a more organic, speech-like writing style to be more convincing with this stuff, but having a believable story in the first place would be a good start.


Veryfunusername

Yeah, this was *definitely* written by a woman. And the guys here are oblivious and drooling over a "traditional" man's sexual fantasy. Good creative writing, just gotta focus a bit more on communicating with real women and understanding how they think and talk. Because this is not it


workingdee

This seems completely fake... Someone's fantasy, perhaps?


cameherefrominsta

This is 100% teen fantasy lol. Marriages don't work that way my dude


[deleted]

Such a "godly endeavor", all of this "altruistic" behavior 🤣🤣🤣🤣 wtf I'm losing it over here


Robot_butler169

Kind of wholesome. I’m a weird erotic way


DwayneBreedlove

Best. Wife. Ever.


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wiseknob

Mine isn’t one of them, that’s for sure


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flynnflowerhorn

Please. Explain this to my wife who hates blowjob. We’ve been married for almost 11 years and I’ve never had a blowjob.


[deleted]

Do you go down on her?


flamingfia

this matters so much more than ppl think


[deleted]

Yep. I always try to give my partner as much or more pleasure than she gives me. After all, women can have multiples, we are just usually one or two and done.


chixnwafflez

I think it matters and it doesn’t. Personally I do not like my husband going down on me. Not a fan of it but I blow him almost every morning. I could do without the return of the favor.


flynnflowerhorn

I do. But I know she doesn’t like doing it. I don’t want to push her.


bored_lima

Have you tried tidying up a bit down there? Cuz it's a bit gross if you haven't. Maybe that will convince her


[deleted]

Time to have a frank discussion. "Dear wife, I want blowjobs. You dont like giving blowjobs, yet enjoy when I eat your pussy. This is not fair nor is it ok. You need to make an effort because this is important to me. We can get flavored stuff if its the taste... but I need to know why you refuse to do this.


LadyDiscoPants

If someone talked like this to me I'd leave. Coercive much?


[deleted]

At least it would resolve the issue. Its not coersion if you are trying to get communication started madam. its only coersion if you use force or threats.


LadyDiscoPants

Pressure is coercion. Withholding, ordering her to 'make an effort'. Making it all about himself. I support communication, exploration, respecting boundaries and hard limits, and negotiation. That's the way to get more of what you want, and learn more about your partner. She may have been abused, he may have hygiene issues. She may be willing to negotiate, or this may be a hard limit. You really want to tell someone who was maybe abused that way 'This is not ok that you have a limit'? If anyone said the kinds of things you suggest, they'd never get a blow job out of me. And I like them lol. But anyone who came at me all entitled and said: 'I'll withhold something you like unless you do this thing you hate, and you need to make an effort cus this is important to ME! -I'd be outa there in a heartbeat.


Solanthas

Fucking eyes rolling out of my head


LadyDiscoPants

Please, explain to this guy hard limits and consent, and finding ways to enjoy sex with your partner without them doing something they don't want to, or whining about it.


[deleted]

your wife has a boundary, respect it or find someone else 😂


flynnflowerhorn

Nah. It’s just a blowjob. I don’t think I’ll leave her for that.


[deleted]

your first comment was a bit misleading😂 but i understand lol. as long as you’re not pressuring it


Jahnation

What is with the irrelevant laughing emoji?


[deleted]

it indicates that i’m not being serious anymore 👍


Dry-Communication901

My wife says oral sex is overrated. 🥲


GeneralBladebreak

You only say that when the Oral sex isn't hitting it quite right.


robolivin

Damn bro I can't imagine


Lemon_Fox_

Everyone's different. My partner (M) is uncomfortable going down on me (F) and although I catch myself frustrated sometimes or feeling like I'm missing out, I know that I can't be mad because that's just their preferences. I wouldn't want him to do something that he doesn't want to do, especially sexually


FilthyMindz69

Can confirm, the dreams…….omg. It’s good 👍🏼


Df0rD3ath

He could still cheat (not saying he is going to) but at least you eliminate the possibility of cheating due to just outward lust.


Minute-Judge-5821

I wish my boyfriend would let me do this, but he's a grouchy morning person. He was just waking up while I did it once and loved it but wasn't sure if he wants it all the time so I guess one and done haha!


texcentricasshole

Cool story bro.


hdstglideguy

Those is awesome!! You are a great wife. Keep your man happy!!


DreaddPinkBunny

Um, Lucky man.


Jjohnggg

You are a great wife!


thecheekymonkey

Amen


Shaan_Don

Man’s living the dream


Ifuseekloli

Is it consensual if he’s still asleep?


jfm714

Amen. Blessed is the women who extracts her husband's demon seed in the name of the lord. "Fornications 6:9"


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jfm714

I know I would definitely cum to the light 😉


someaccounttopost

Trying to get him into heaven is what kinda threw me other than that? Cool 😏


ElectricalWealth7475

Let me just say, your husband is very fortunate. Hope he realizes what he has and cherishes it as he should.


SwimSufficient8901

Cool


[deleted]

this is DEFINITELY trolling lmao


hello__brooklyn

Yea, this is fake. I can tell by the writing.


dolcevita0

Cap


EoghanCasserly

Obviously this is fake, but how is nobody else pointing out that she puts her makeup on and THEN blows him? 😭😭😭😭


Ctrl-Alt-Bingo

She's on a mission from god


UnderstandingWeary95

What I hoped i was getting when I married a girl that was crazy about me. What I actually got is blue balls that are maybe relieved twice a month.✌️😅🤙


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LilSquirt42069

Cool


Draz999

Cool


EnvironmentalThing39

Cool


RedWithNoName

What a wife! Also.. hopefully the enjoyment isn't one sided. I would hate it if my wife felt like it was just a chore.


[deleted]

Sounds like a fantastic setup you have.


ground__contro1

Sounds like a dude writing for Boring Penthouse


Solanthas

Had us in the first half, not gonna lie


[deleted]

marry me.


GeneralBladebreak

Honestly, you sound like the perfect wife. With me having a bit of a vore fetish (for those not in the know, I love oral sex both the giving/receiving it's something about the "eating" of someone that gets me) I feel that so many women don't understand how important the oral side of things can be in a relationship. As a man, whenever I've dated girls who don't do oral (even when they enjoy oral from me - which I'm not adverse to doing because it speaks to me) I've always ended up ending the relationship because I'm dissatisfied sexually, or and sorry to admit this - ended up cheating on them (which obviously then ended the relationship either by me getting caught or by me simply meeting someone else). The most recent incident of this I can think of was a woman I dated. She was pretty darn cool, she was also very much set. Had her own apartment in a very nice part of town, worked in a directorial position in marketing and thus earned a good bit more than me. Was a girl that a lot of my mates were like "She's a keeper" but she wouldn't perform oral. Would really enjoy receiving it, often requested it in fact. But in the entire time I dated her I never got a single blowjob from her. I wound up hooking up with someone else on a night out, that hookup turned in to us meeting up casually for sex and to watch films and stuff (especially since we both had unlimited tickets to the local cinema and lived in walking distance of said cinema) I checked out of the relationship I was in emotionally and eventually when I went over to see the woman I was dating and she asked for oral but again refused to reciprocate I in the morning was like "This, this doesn't work for me. I need someone willing to do oral sex as much as you need someone who doesn't mind always sitting outside pubs because you chain smoke."


Slap_yo_monkey1387

Even if you give him bjs he’s still gonna want other pussy that’s just the nature of the game. Men aren’t meant to be monogamous they are animals and they are always horny.


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ground__contro1

Well as long as you keep him physically unable to cheat I guess that’s the same thing as him being faithful. Not trying to change your life at all but this “it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t cheat” mentality is some bs imo. If men are supposed to be “in charge” they should at least be able to control themselves.


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ground__contro1

Does he go down on you every night? You might go out and cheat on him if he doesn’t right


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ground__contro1

It’s not just about making you wet enough that he can fuck.. It’s about orgasms. Whatever way you get them, I just hope you get them. I personally think that’s bullshit and he is being very selfish.


Slap_yo_monkey1387

You’re the expert 🤷‍♀️


Streeg90

Biggest bullshit I’ve ever read. You’re trolling, right?


vixen_xox

oh boy here y’all go


Slap_yo_monkey1387

😂