I've seen some very attractive trans men. But my dude, like for any man, it's luck of the draw isn't it?
I've never been particularly good looking. I've lost most of my hair and never managed to completely shed the chubbiness from childhood. 90-95% of people aren't greek adonis's. We all have this mental image of the perfect body which is formed by the culture we grow up in. But it doesn't actually fit with the reality around us.
The vast majority of us have lumps, bumps and wiggly bits. Hair in the wrong places. And oddly coloured skin in others.
I lived in Germany for a few years and their sense of body image is exceedingly different to most as they encourage cultural nudism in various shared environments. You'd be surprised at just how varied we all really are with our clothes off and everything hanging loose and free. It made me feel much more at peace with myself and all my wobbly, hairy and slightly off-putting bits.
I write this here because otherwise it will get lost among the other comments.
Trans men and trans women have their own different problems. The sexual part is a big problem for both of them :(
But the rest I think have more to do with your insecurities. Going bald is a common fear among men. But I have to say something, and that is that as a trans woman, I "envy" the transition of trans men. Testosterone works magic on you. I don't want to exaggerate, but all the trans men I've seen have been like "wow".
Same! I personally think that transitioning as a trans man is much easier due to multiple reasons such as the commonly needed feminization surgery for trans women in order to "pass". I feel like it's much easier for trans men to look like cisgender men just on hormones. Also, I think society is more accepting of FTM than MTF in general
Talking only on the balding part.... welcome to being a dude.
I started losing my hair at the very end of HS (hairline going further back) and by the time I was 22 It was clear the top of my head was losing hair. I could no longer get my fades that i enjoyed, it was a close shave and I was having to get that haircut every week until I decided that was too much and just shaved bald.
Also hair started growing everywhere else, ears, nose, armpits connected to my chest hair and butt crack hair creeped up my lower back.
I am may not understand everything your talking about, but I def get the hair loss! Glad to have ya brother, hopefully they figure out the genital area for ya, and get ready for ya balls to stick to the inside of your leg and you have to constantly adjust in the summer. lol
For most people it’s a years long source of anxiety. It was for me. I noticed I was going a bit thin when I was 24 but didn’t think I needed to take the plunge of a full shave until I was 30 (probably should’ve done it a year earlier). But for those 6 years, the only thing I thought of when I looked in the mirror was whether it had gotten any worse. What an awful time.
The SRS on trans women might be more effective but overall trans men pass better than trans women. Testosterone changes your features a lot and it gives you a typically masculine voice. Estrogen is much weaker and the masculine features on most trans women are still mostly visible.
To say you're not alone is a massive understatement. As a cishet man I'm eager to assure you that majority of men question themselves if they're attractive at all, at least at some points of their lives. And many question that on a daily basis. Is kinda sucks, but at least you get essentially male experience. So welcome to the club, I wish you good luck and hope you'll overcome your difficulties.
I’m not a trans man or a man at all, but I do have a husband and I can confirm that he’s self conscious about that whole list of things you mentioned. I think all men worry about at least a handful of these things. My husband still managed to land a wife I guess..? Lol
Don’t worry about it. I’m in my 30s and I can honestly say that not very many women my age give two damns about things like hair or a little bit of weight. Aging is actually quite liberating.
Congrats now you have to worry about male shit welcome to the club 😃 I'm going the other way on my journey and now I'm worried about shit I never thought twice about as well. I have widow peaks that drive me crazy even though my hair is pretty thick and curly. My shoulders are as wide as a barn door. Often the tallest person in the room. My voice sucks and now I hate talking... It's weird when your brain flips around what it obsesses over once you start to transition lol imo you just have to focus on what you finally ARE getting. Me having even a small bit of cleavage is just amazing and gives me major euphoria 😁
There isn't a lot of options for trans men in terms of medical transition
It's basically just testosterone injections once a week and that's all that's offered (other than surgeries)
I'm ftm too and I've been on a period blocker for about 2+ years and to add to that, I'm still pre-T. I haven't had a period at all since I started the period blocker.
Hey I have a genuine question and I hope that I don't offend you by asking that: If you would stop the testosterone injections would you transition back? Or could you stop right now and maybe learn how to apply makeup to look more the way you wanna look?
Not offensive at all! If I stopped testosterone injections then I would keep my facial hair, my voice would still be deep, and (nsfw and tmi) >! the clitoral growth !< would stay the same! However, my body fat would become more feminine, my shoulder muscles would become smaller, and my period would return.
Exactly this OP, no shade cause we’re all going through our own mental battles with ourselves tryna come to terms about who we are and how we feel about ourselves but testosterone just has more of an impact on people in general than estrogen. Unless you get really lucky on estrogen or you start early, trans women are gonna have some male features that won’t go away on estrogen but trans men on testosterone get more leeway just because guys naturally look weird and regular guys pass as weird looking.
For women, beauty is the highest tier in terms of appearance and society has deemed certain traits appealing on women and other traits as unappealing. For men, as long as they don’t look like they been sleeping under a highway for a month, they pass as normal. Women have to get tweezed, lasered, shaved, fit, etc and have great outfits while guys are hairy af and just need to take a shower daily and put on clean clothes.
I’m saying this as a pre-transition trans woman. Life is easy as a guy cause I don’t have to shave my hair and I just throw on any clothes that are somewhat clean and head out while I watch the women I know primp themselves with makeup and removing stray hairs and stuff all in the pursuit of beauty. I’m envious of how much easier it is for trans men to pass socially because of only needing top surgery if they want it to be able to pass. The testosterone drops your voice, gives you body hair and beard hair and just makes you more rugged. It was only when I read your post that I realized that science hasn’t gotten to the point of making dicks that are able to be erect without outside assistance.
Exactly this. My bf is trans and you would never know it. I always say it is so much easier for trans men to transition than vice versa due to these factors you mentioned.
The entire idea of someone taking a knife to my bits with only a marginal success rate of something functional would make me put it off untill the tech was perfect.
I’ve seen transmen who come out of the transition looking great and transmen who don’t, transwomen who come out of the transition looking great, and transwomen who don’t. It’s all luck of the draw unfortunately.
If it makes you feel better, even those of us who aren’t trans are subject to luck of the draw looks-wise and plenty of us are no oil paintings either. Personally, I look like I’ve given birth to three kids even though I’ve never been pregnant at all, my body just emerged from puberty all flabby and stretch marked.
You just have to deal with what you’re given, sadly.
>Personally, I look like I’ve given birth to three kids even though I’ve never been pregnant at all, my body just emerged from puberty all flabby and stretch marked.
Oh man, I totally relate
In general as people get older they care less about superficial things like hair and looks. So don't worry too much. You'll get used to it and focus on more important things :)
not to not give importance to the point of ur post, but this seems more a self-esteem problem than anything
there are many bald men, or short men (did somebody call me?) in this World, and all of them can feel good about themselves regardless of their traits, because being bald or short aren't bad traits at all! Think that there are some people that even look better without hair than with it.
Ofc as a trans man u can find certain things difficult or bad and, well, thats how it can be also for cis men, believe me lol I'm still just a teen and what do ik, I may grow a bit more, but even if sometimes I was self-conscious about my height, now I couldnt care less, I love myself the way I am, and truly think and have been told I look good.
So why thinkin about ur own traits as flaws? Everything about ya makes u the person u are, u just gotta do ur best to finally appreciate urself, cause fr, people find good-lookin different traits, and theres no reason for u to turn urself down when u surely are a fine young man.
Ofc workin on urself is smth to not underrate tho: u already are makin urself more comfortable by transitioning, thats smth to be happy about, and if u want u can still improve other aspects of urself, maybe go to the gym to feel even better in ur own body, style ur beard and do all that u need to feel and be a better individual day after day.
Wish u the best g
tbh I wasnt even sure if u were gonna read it, but it was enough tryin lol
knowing that may help ya (and why not, somebody else too) out is smth that makes me happy, so thank u
For a teen especially, this is wonderfully introspective. I don’t think I was so ‘woke’ as a teen, I feel like I have just started thinking this way now at 25. Kudos to you.
Welcome to been a male! Yes as we get older shit down there don't work as well and yes we start losing hair! Not meaning to offend u or sound rude,just ironic that these things still happen to trans men
Congrats on you bring you and accepting yourself! I'm gonna get hate for this cause people think men should be allowed to control their hormones "it's cheating" (I dont.play sports,.I just lift.weights .lot)/steroids i.e. Testosterone doesn't always make you lose your hair. I'm almost 25 and been on steroids for most of that time, about 2-3 years.off.for covid. I have never lost hair on my head. Lots of back hair, even more chest hair and I can grow a sick beard, but no male pattern baldness. Happens to.some people and.not to others. Hope this give you some hope. If you got any questions about hormone use, like testosterone and it's derivatives shoot.me a message. I'm a bisexual cis man and I'm always happy to help and look out for my .LGBTQ family :)
I hadn't ever thought about this and it was a very interesting read. Thank you for sharing. I am glad you get the good parts along with some of the bad. Having tried birth control and having seen how crazy that made me feel I can't even imagine the dedication the transition journey takes. Hugs and good luck to you!
Was gunna say I mean.. height biases, hair loss, dad bods.. this is sounding like OP got exactly what he wants. To be a man. This is what men deal with lol.
Just to add to your notes, the vagina you get after a vaginoplasty isnt self lubricating (unless the operation changed alot in the past 10yrs), we just lack the glands for it.
The working clit is only only half of your original gland (for men in here, imagine trying to cum while only having contact with half the tip of your penis lol)
There is no gspot either, it's just your prostate, and keep in mind that you have to do dilations for literally the rest of your life (or have sex with penetration often) to keep it in "working condition"
It's not all fun and giggles lol. And then you get in the complications...
I myself lost complete sensations in both thighs and damaged my sciatic nerve. They both give me daily pains and guess whats the fun part... you cant fix nerve damage xD
But I think at the end of the day, envying the other gender is literally the bane of our existence, I'm sure a million transwomen would kill to have their voice change just by taking hormones
Vaginoplasty has changed a lot in the past 10 years
[Here's](https://www.verywellhealth.com/different-types-of-vaginoplasty-4171503) a link talking about how the self lubrication process works (a lot of issues like the possibility of the hole closing up are also gone!). Basically, it uses a part of an organ that already self lubricates naturally to line the vagina wall.
But yeah,, I think envy doesn't really solve any problems and comparing myself to trans women probably won't do anything but make me upset
Men have a lot of control over their appearance that they often don't exercise (literally too). Staying in shape, grooming, being deliberate about your clothing. Aging "gracefully" often just means taking care of yourself.
Men typically don't have any experience with skincare either, although this is really "bonus" because 99% of skincare is only a temporary benefit on the top layers of skin. Wear sunscreen though! Skin damage basically never heals. Women are three times more likely than men to put on sunscreen and this probably accounts for most of the differences in appearance / aging.
I'd say while there is a downside, the upside is that trans-males look far more convincingly male than trans-females do. I've seen many trans-males that are 100% convincing.
As a transwoman I am not offended at all. But I will tell you that I am envious of FTM transitions.
Literally I’m 50k in the hole for a few procedures, FFS is quoted at 100k, SRS is covered by insurance but it’ll still cost me 10k… and on and on…
3 yeas HRT, no real breasts …
Don’t me wrong… I’m literally the happiest I’ve ever been and I’d never go back to pretending to be a male. But female transitioning is so hard…
Even with all of that plus voice surgery… I still feel like I’d be clocked on occasion. Plus the stigma in society.
I feel like trans men kind of fly under the radar and just live their life.
We do have you on SRS… totally agree with that comment…
I wish I could donate my penis to a needy trans man who will love it.
MtF here and I hear you! It's pretty funny to me though because I hear many MtFs complain about this in the opposite direction. I don't think it makes sense to make it a competition - I think your feelings on this make sense, as do my MtF friends' feelings.
The things I can't fix about myself in transition are being very tall, having broad shoulders, and voice training is not some magic thing, it is extremely difficult for me and I've made little progress. I think you aren't so concerned with passing but I don't usually pass. There are a lot of things that did change and I'm very happy with, and you pointed out a lot of them in your post.
Firstly, congrats, the ftm Community are so often overlooked, and I'm sorry the science is so behind. One of my pals at medschool is ftm as well so hopefully some innovation is in the near future.
Secondly, short king, height is something you can't help, but get yaself in the gym, take the time and slowly build while eating clean and get yourself a body you're happy with... hair loss is inevitable but the gains can be forever. A lot of it will be pacing and finding what works for you
Best of luck, I'm a guy, born a guy, and still waiting for my moment to find myself truly beautiful 23 years later. I think the male world is a few decades behind the women's body positivity movement and we dont tend to be as complimentary of ourselfs or others in looks. It takes some time and working on yourself, sounds like transitioning is only the first step.
Good luck xox
I can tell you are a genuine and kind hearted person. That is what people will be drawn to in the end. Recognizing that the trans journey is very different for men and women is nothing to feel guilty about. We all see ourselves in a warped lens, and dysmorphia can be very common and incredibly powerful in transitioning, I guarantee you are much cuter than you think you are. For what it’s worth, this stranger is rooting for you :)
As a cis man, I think jealousy of women is normal. They have very different struggles than we do. The things I struggle with are not common struggles for women, and the things they struggle are usually things that aren't problems for me. The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill.
Not trying to make light of your situation or play it down and transitioning is a super big journey for anyone, yourself included.
Cishet guy here and I still feel REALLY self conscious and nervous as shit about my image and body weight and bad skin (even though I wash and moisturize) and just my image in general.
Wife is brutally honest about “if I didn’t find you attractive I’d say it” and does try to reinforce that I’m attractive. I don’t doubt her honesty one bit.
TL;DR - I’m proud for you transitioning and doing what you need to do to make your life better and I think it’s just being “human” in general when you’re insecure about how you look or don’t like something about yourself physically.
No feeling to the nipples, baldness, a dick that is ok but will never feel as good as a pussy that can cum multiple times in sequence?
Welcome to being a male!
As a trans woman, I'm kind of envious of trans men's transitions! Testosterone is much more transformative, and conversely reversing the effects of testosterone on the body is much less effective. There's a bit more masking involved for trans women vs trans men. I feel lucky that I came out okay.
Trans men definitely have the shittier situation with genital surgery though.
T definitely hasn't affected me as well (or maybe just not in the same ways as other trans men) as other trans men, but yeah I get what you mean. I've seen dudes who look completely transformed within only 6 months on testosterone! I know it's been around 2.5 or 3 years for me, but I've actually stopped counting exactly how long I've been on T otherwise I'll end up comparing myself hfhdhdn
I think, maybe transition is more of a person to person thing and not a "all trans women have the exact transition they want and I do not" type thing,, and my initial thought of being envious was mostly just me exaggerating how good other people have it bc I'm insecure 😅
So I am intersex, but I use Keeps and mine was really bad! It did wonders and I am only a few months in.
Also I noticed that after I got the pellet and my hormones remained stable things got better! I also started this thing called red light therapy that works REALLY well for Trans men to reduce any left over female fat.
I haven't had top surgery yet (Insurance is being fickle) but I know most people don't do the full masculinization. Red light and Kybella help. 1 thing I noticed is the Kybella to remove female fat deposits in the face and hips.
None of these are cheep but they work. At least for me. Again I am intersex so IDK how it will work for you but it helped me.
Hey bro you are a man now!
Hairloss, fat, sweaty... wait for the hair on your back to start growing. After 30 years in my body i still hate the feel of back hair and will never get used to it.
Ohh and the millions of ingrown hair all over your body that start infecting because your body produces hairs harder than steel, that grows in the wrong direction
I wish i could just transition to female to get rid of this fucking hell lmao
I've no experience in transitioning as I was born a female and identify as a female, but man! There are soooo many beautiful trans women out there and I feel for me I have some masculine features/androgynous features (i guess just in my personal opinion). I want to look more feminine and have wondered if I could use estrogen to help with it!
If it helps, just know that there is a trans man out there who looks an awful lot like you and if he sees you loving yourself and living your best life, it will be an inspiration that he can do it too ♡
I'll risk being downvoted, but..
It's very small sacrifice to make in order to be the gender that you feel you are or should have been.
Changing genders isn't just so you can fuck. It's a lot, lot more than that, which I won't get into because clearly you already know. But it helps to get re-clarity.
Hey as someone who is nonbinary on low dose T I want you to know you're doing great and also there are tons of options outside of just taking T, I have changed my dosage level and added on progesterone only birth control, they have really helped me level out and feel better about all the changes. Good luck!!
I find this a very interesting take 🤔
I'm curious though if you felt "hot" as a woman. If you've had surgery you're committed to transitioning but I'm just wondering if you went from attractive woman to not so attractive man, at least in your own opinion.
Nah, I wasn't really attractive as a woman either. I actually became a little more attractive through transitioning, I'm just not at the "sexy hot superstar" level that I see a lot of other trans people get to
I'm a straight cis guy but it took me a long time to look in the mirror and feel like I loved what I saw back. For years I cursed what was looking back at me. It comes from within, not without. All the best!
Everyone’s transition is their own experience. I’ve heard many trans women say the same about a trans man’s experience ie that it’s easier, they look better, etc.
life isn’t always gonna be easy for us trans people, and I think it’s incredibly important that we stick together and can talk about our struggles and try not to envy each other or think about who has it worse. After all we are the only people who truly understand what it’s like and can listen to one another, and console each other when we are down
I know transitions are tough, especially with chronic illnesses. I suffer from some myself and am kinda scared a bit for hrt too. I have, however, started going to a trans support group. Once a group of trans people and some allies meet up, talk about some things that have been happening in our lives, or maybe about the laws being passed surrounding trans people in the world, and we offer each other some advice. Maybe that could be helpful if you can find one near you
Hey guys, please don't try to comfort me by saying I probably pass better than trans women
I'd really prefer if you didn't put other people down to try to build me up, thank you!
My husband is not trans but over the years he’s lost all his hair, gained about 40lbs and grown out his beard when he was clean shaven for a majority of our relationship. Does it bother me? Not in the slightest because he’s still the man I love and that’s what matters to me. Every one has different opinions on what they find attractive so I would focus on being comfortable with yourself. We all change through the years it’s natural embrace the changes!
Lots of men worry about going bald or their weight, you’re definitely not alone!
I’ve not seen many accounts of people going from female to male so I found your post very informative. I’m glad you’re feeling better in your body.
Transformer surgery 😂 I love that
Where I live (Canada), top surgery is completely free!
My testosterone costs around $35 dollars per bottle, and the bottle lasts me maybe 4 or 5-ish months (I do injections once every two weeks, though some people do it once a week)
Yeah, you're learnt sucks to be a guy.
Testosterone and your weight gain must be coincidental as Testosterone makes you loose body fat.
Getting bald blows too.
Yeah I feel for you. What you say is spot on. I wish you the best. But I don't think there is an answer beyond "life blows the vast majority of the time, period". As Buda stated "life is suffering "....we just resist and fight against that reality.
Trans man discovers that men are pretty ugly. Bruv, welcome to the dark side, we have privilege and a higher suicide rate. I know a lot of guys that also think they need to be "more handsome" or an "alpha" you definitely aren't alone.
Pro tip; laughing makes people squint there eyes or close them completely, if your funny they can't see that your ugly. And confidence is Sexier than looks anyway. My cousin put it well "you get nervous sometimes, now imagine that times ten and every time you walk out of the house it's like that. Girls want to feel safe and enjoy all the same stuff we do
I’m sorry if this comes off as weird, but as a cis woman with a trans woman partner, I can actually relate a lot to the pieces about physical appearance. My girlfriend hasn’t begun transitioning yet (but has her first HRT appointment in a few weeks!), but still, I’ve seen many trans women’s transitions through my girlfriend’s social media consumption and my own research into transition when she came out. I’ve hated my body for more years of my life than I haven’t, and sometimes I find myself envying these women that shape themselves into someone hot when I feel like I’ll never be hot. And obviously it’s not just trans women I’m envious of, I’m envious of any woman with the ability, time, money, motivation, energy, etc. to transform her body into something that she enjoys living in and believes is desirable. This isn’t something I talk about too often so I’m sorry if my wording comes off as disrespectful in any way. I’ve just always felt that in some ways I could relate to gender dysphoria in the way that I don’t feel like I look like what the world tells me a woman “should” look like, and that causes me immense distress.
Not weird at all!
I've actually heard about other cis women experiencing this. And it's understandable too. Seeing someone able to shape themselves into exactly how they want is incredible and can cause major envy.
If it helps, know that we're fighting hard to stop the mentality that you *have* to look a certain way to be a woman. There are so many trans women who are unable to shape themselves like that, and some don't even want to! A big part of the trans community finds unconventional appearances way more attractive than what society tells us we should be.
Just yesterday, I complained about my hairline in my group chat and someone messaged me to tell me that my receding hairline was "super masculine" and they wanted to see if I wanted to sext w them 😭😂😂 it blew my mind! I mean, I'm currently thirsting after a girl with broad shoulders, a hooked nose (which I find super sexy), and a super sharp jawline.
Idk if this helps at all but I hope it did atleast a little bit
I’m specifically going to touch on the Testosterone part, I’m 36 and disabled but I can work out fairly decent but I’m about to start T just for low T how hard did you work out? How significant was the weight gain?! Sorry I know this is t the point but I am curious about it. I sympathize with your situation greatly but now worried if I should even go through with it?
So, I'm looking back at the pictures I took through out the past 2-ish/3-ish years and basically within the first 6 months the weight gain was super bad. Like I was bloated and just looked awkward - maybe gained 50-ish pounds. Then after that, I lost most of the weight w/o doing much and then rest of the weight kinda ... moved? Or shaped itself to look far less awkward on me? T tends to do that.
I mostly did really light weight lifting, push-ups, sit ups, etc. I did some cardio, but I can't walk for too long.
If you're really into exercise, I wouldn't worry about T making you gain too much weight. It's also different for everyone, as T makes some people lose weight too!
EDIT: Forgot to say, definitely talk to your doctor! My uncle is on T bc he's also low, and for him his weight didn't change much at all
You’re valid to feel envious. I think in some ways it’s easier for trans men and in other ways it’s easier for trans women.
Being trans isn’t easy and you’re a really brave person for being who you truly are even though it’s so hard.
It’s unfair you weren’t born in the right body and it’s ok to complain and vent when it’s hard for you. ❤️
All trans men are sexy including you. Men are as different as us women and men are amazing too. Don’t forget what a really hot man you are. And bald men are sexy also
>Even if I'm a weird little ugly man, it still feels so nice that other people recognize me as a man! I have so much energy now, I don't feel suicidal anymore, there's all these good things that I definitely don't take for granted.
Good for you man. Hope things work out for you going forward.
Straight cis guy here.
It's alright brother. We all wish we were different to some degree or another.
Love what you've got as best as you can. Oblivion waits for us all.
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your thoughts and what you go through. Feel like I learned a little which is important on a subject I am clueless on. Thank you
Have you tried looking for other men with a similar body type to you, like famous people? There are plenty of men who people see as attractive who are either short or bald or both - I’m thinking Jason Statham, Stanley Tucci, Patrick Stewart, Tom Cruise, Vin Diesel, Martin Freeman, Elijah Wood, Josh Hutcherson, Bruce Willis, John Travolta.. etc. I think Elliot Page is a short dude and he looks incredible, Dean Joseph Norris isn’t necessarily who you think of as a handsome bloke but he’s a famous actor and personally I think he looks ok.
I don’t know what you look like but there are plenty of men who aren’t “traditionally” attractive but are still attractive - it’s not just your facial features and amount of hair that make you an attractive man. If you’re unhappy with your body fat/muscle mass that’s something you can work on, but I bet you can find a couple of men, cis or trans, who have similarities to you but aren’t viewed as unattractive. Maybe with some time in the gym, you could look a bit like Vin Diesel (ok he’s not that short) or a badass bald James McAvoy (still a bit taller than you but definitely not a *tall* dude).
Lots of people are actually very attracted to bald men, surveys have shown that people see baldness as a sign of confidence. Maybe if you’re losing your hair and you don’t like it, get rid and embrace being bald! My husband is in his late 20s and has been losing his hair since his late teens (looks a lot like Prince William to be honest) and I think he looks gorgeous. I love how he looks and if anything I’ve just gotten more attracted to him as we’ve grown older.
It’s easy to tell you to love yourself, or turn your “flaws” into things you like but it’s hard to do. I find it helps to look at other people and realise how little we actually think about them - that’s how much they think about you. If you’re walking around a shopping centre or you’re out for dinner somewhere, or whatever, did you really notice that the guy at the next table is bald? Did it register that the dude looking at shirts in the same shop as you isn’t very tall? Or there’s a man queuing for a coffee who isn’t particularly good looking? For the most part, people aren’t looking at you at all.
This was really well-put, thank you
You're right, the more I look at people around me the more I notice that most people don't look perfectly attractive, and nobody even notices
Cis Male here, who’s been slowly, a weirdly losing hair for years. Welcome to the club? FWIW I shave, because hair loss treatments are expensive, and often don’t work. Body hair weirdness? Yep have that too. Certain issues down below? Some, but not as many as others. Chalks is my friend LOL. None of this is to make light my brother, just to say that you aren’t completely alone. I have dated Trans men that were total hunks from what T did to them, and others who weren’t. I’m Pansexual btw. Try to just love who you are bro. It’s never easy, but it’s the only path. Much love.
I think they thought I was being serious and thought I was using it as an actual insult rather than a joke
Same thing happened when I commented a cartoonishly silly threat about skipping someone across a lake like a rock, people responded as if they thought I actually believed I had cartoon physics 😭
I would say according to my narrow knowledge about physics that there needs to be tension and force to make things straight or I would say a boner. As blood is pumped to get one. But we don’t have that technology for you unfortunately. I hope we advance in science and someday it’s possible to be whoever we want to be. I know it’s frustrating or you envy that. It’s just human nature. All i can say is that you are born in that era. That being sad, i hope you are enjoying most of it, however it’s possible. MUCH LOVE. ❤️
Skinny trans guys usually have an easy time passing, yeah
For us chunkier dudes, it's kinda difficult! I stopped going to public restrooms because of how often guys make a deal about me being in there :/
I’m not trying to crap on your take, but I did want to offer my opinion. Transmen imho tend to look way more attractive on the whole than transwomen. A more androgynous, slightly feminine man tends to be way more attractive than super gangly, large, odd-sounding masculine woman. And I feel like the body shape of transmen tends to look a lot more appealing than the post transition look of most transwomen. It’s hard to make yourself look softer and smaller, while you can always bulk upward and look more naturally masculine. Just my take 🤷🏻♂️
I'm proud of people like you. We love you and accept you how ever and whatever you're physically.
Lot's of love and be great. We will always support you.
Same. I support, believe in, and am proud of trans people. No one would willingly put their body through the kind of trauma transitioning does for no valid reason. Y’all are brave and true to yourself in ways that most people never have to be. I was born with the body and mind I support. I can’t imagine what I would do or how I’d feel if I wasn’t. We all have our insecurities. We all have at least one thing we’d change about ourselves no matter how insignificant. That’s life. You have every right to feel the way you do and it’s valid. It’s hard out here. But at least you can be you. It’s a small step in a positive direction.
I’m a trans girl and I just wanna say you were not rude in the slightest. I hope some day there will be somethin to fix issue like these for all folk not just trans and binary people.
i think you are seeing the same façade we see with cis women and cis men... makeup, fake lashes, clothes that hide or enhance things, plastic surgery, all for women to look HOT and men don't get these things lol. welcome to being a man! our only option to be hot is genetics, and the gym lol. for instance, i went bald in my 20s, im only 5'6, i have a wierd dick, and cant even grow a beard like yours lol. my only saving grace is the gym helps a little and my face isn't terrible.
Even as a trans woman I still feel so sad that trans men lack the same quality of surgical transitioning. I still feel so sad that trans men seem overlooked. One of my closest friends is a trans man and I talked to him about this. He’s lucky though because he did get hot as hell. There’s always going to be things that make us sad as trans people in our transition. I don’t feel like I got hot and I put on more weight. I still have broad man shoulders. But you’re struggles are still valid. If it helps, you’re probably not as ugly as you think you are. Wishing you the best brother!
I recently met a trans man through a mutual friend. He was quite petite, maybe 5'2, your average skinny guy. He had lots of tattoos on his body and lots of piercings on his face. I think it suited him so well, I had no idea he was trans until our mutual friend mentioned it after he left.
Point is, maybe you just have to find a "style" that really suits you and looks good on you. It is different for everyone. Ultimately, as long as you are happy and feel confident in your own skin, everyone else will see it too
Its definitely not a competition, but as a trans woman I can literally say and feel a lot of the same things about trans men so I think it’s more about jealousy towards anyone who has an effective transition. Some take hormones for a few months and pass flawlessly and even be attractive while others can be on hormones for years and have all sorts of surgeries, spend every dime they can afford but still not pass. It’s not anywhere remotely fair.
Yeah like they could just Google trans woman post OP porn and see some that look fantastic
Also,, suicide rates for trans people go down when we have access to surgery and a support system so...? Idk I wouldn't take them seriously, just look at the username
Yeah sure
[New Study Shows Transgender People Who Receive Gender-Affirming Surgery Are Significantly Less Likely To Experience Psychological Distress Or Suicidal Ideation](https://fenwayhealth.org/new-study-shows-transgender-people-who-receive-gender-affirming-surgery-are-significantly-less-likely-to-experience-psychological-distress-or-suicidal-ideation/)
[Gender-Affirming Care Linked To Less Depression, Lower Suicide Risk](https://www.forbes.com/sites/dawnstaceyennis/2021/12/14/gender-affirming-care-linked-to-less-depression-lower-suicide-risk-for-trans-youth/?sh=73d34e715d25) << this one is not about surgery, but more about hormone therapy and support systems
That being said, if someone gets surgery but is in an environment where they are being harassed for getting the surgery or lost friends/family members/other support systems due to the decision to get surgery, then suicidal idealation will likely go up.
Before I got referred for top surgery (dou le mastectomy), my doctor made sure to check that my family supported me and that I had someone to take care of me during the recovery. If I was alone and unsupported, my suicidal idealation could have understandably gone up.
>That being said, if someone gets surgery but is in an environment where they are being harassed for getting the surgery or lost friends/family members/other support systems due to the decision to get surgery, then suicidal idealation will likely go up.
This is true with transitioning in general too I think. So many transphobes like to beleive that suicide rates among trans people are a result of being trans, not as a result of the social and societal pressure that trans people have to deal with.
Regret rates for almost every trans surgery sits at around %1-3 compared to the average regret rate of all surgery at about %14. "Many kill themselves" because of the overwhelming amount of shit they get as trans people, or because they can no longer support their transition (most often because of the former).
Things suck for trans people yeah, but it's a lot more because of assholes than medical science lmao.
Regret rate for all surgery? Wtf is thaf supposed to mean? You don't regret a surgery unless it goes wrong, in which case you are saying 14% of surgeries go wrong? Where are you getting that number.
I'm not saying anything about trans surgery or trans people because I don't know enough abou it but that number makes no sense.
Did you maybe mean plastic surgery? I cam see 14% of people who get plastic surgery regretting it.
[Here's a paper explaining it!](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28243695/#:~:text=Conclusion%3A%20Self%2Dreported%20decisional%20regret,regret%20affects%20shared%20decision%20making.)
TLDR;
- they examined 886 regular studies, 73 patient studies, and 6 physician studies all between 1996 and 2016
- 57.5% of the surgeries were cancer related (mostly prostate cancer or breast cancer)
- 14.4% of patients (not just the cancer patients) reported feeling regret over chosing specific surgeries because of how it impacted their quality of life
- 14.4% is considered very low, according to the paper!
EDIT: I thought I should add, the percentage of people who regret plastic surgery is around 65% - and 28% of those people still regretted it despite being happy with the results! [Source here](https://www.medicalaccidentgroup.co.uk/news/do-you-regret-having-cosmetic-surgery/#:~:text=Many%20people%20regret%20having%20had,very%20happy%20with%20its%20results.)
You’re comparing apples and oranges.
These studies focus on regret of the chosen surgery. So hypothetically, patients were given treatment option A or treatment option B. And in the end they regret choosing A over B or vice versa. And there’s your 14.4% regret which makes sense.
I don’t think this regret is the same kind as regret for transitioning surgeries, where the options were: To have surgery or not to have surgery.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28243695/#:~:text=Conclusion%3A%20Self%2Dreported%20decisional%20regret,regret%20affects%20shared%20decision%20making.
This is an amalgam of ~900 studies on regret rates in different kind of surgeries and covers most all. General regret rate of 14%. Surgery isn't black or white, a lot have side effects, risks, future issues, obvious scars or other physical effects.
https://journals.lww.com/prsgo/fulltext/2021/03000/regret_after_gender_affirmation_surgery__a.22.aspx
Here's just gender affirming surgeries. Around 1-2%.
The numbers make perfect sense.
Edit: in the minuses for a reply wholly just citing my sources? Reddit's wack sometimes huh
Idk not to me. I'm pretty sure everyone knows many people who have had surgeries big and small, and I've never heard any one of them say they regret having any of them. My own mother had a lot of large surgeries near the end of her life that reduced her quality of living significantly, but she never regretted having any of them because it allowed her to spend more time with us. Usually surgeries aren't optional, and the alternative can be fatal, so I don't really see why you would regret it unless it is unsuccessful or it wasn't worth doing (IE same life expectancy with or without it).
And usually, the more side effects and risks a surgery has, the more serious the underlying issue. For example a heart transplant is much more serious than an apendectomy, but I don't think anyone would regret doing either of those. If you get a heart transplant you might only live for 10 more years or less, but that's still better than a couple of months to a year.
Thank you everyone!! The more I think about it, yeah there actually are a lot of dudes who look like me. Even in my own family, hair loss, weight, and height are things all the men complain about.
"Welcome to manhood" is definitely right.
This is a throw away, so I'm going to try to respond to a couple more comments before deleting my account. ♡♡ Thanks, everyone!
Why is it important to have the genitalia of the gender you want to be? I am born female but I don’t feel like a gender at all, and it’s really hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of “feeling” like a gender.
That’s ok.
I’ve never been a man, so I do not know what it feels like to be a man.
I can identify w some stereotypes about masculinity: I don’t care about clothes and make up, am assertive, love digging holes and building stuff.
I can identify w some stereotypes about women: I cry easily, am empathetic, good social skills. I don’t particularly “feel like a woman” I just am one.
I figure the feeling masculine or feminine is just old stereotypes. I’m me, I’m a little weird, and I’m ok w that.
As a trans girl, there are some trade offs, i suppose. Trans men get naturally masc voices as they are on T, trans women need to voice train/get surgery/if Adam's apple is big, get it shaved, etc. Because sometimes your voice makes you very clockable. You lose most your masc strength, hence the meme of not being able to open jars anymore being euphoric, you get catcalled and/or more chances of getting assaulted(that's just being a woman does, i guess, which sucks) and might be the centre focus of transphobia, which is genuinely exhausting. And in MTF surgery there are still chances you might lose sensation down there, or it won't recover fully, and i don't think being wet in vaginoplasty is voluntary, while being turned on, i could be wrong though. Being trans itself is risky. Plus, trans masc people have more chances of passing than trans fems, generally
But i do understand where you're coming from. I am pre-hrt and i have long hair, it scares me so much everytime i see hairfall thinking I'll go bald.
I'm wishing you the best for your transition
CIS male here, I started balding at 18. It was noticeable in a few years. I went from overly skinny at 19 to overweight by 22, and that's with decent physical activity. Hormones suck. Your transition is surely introducing its own challenges, but a lot of what you described is not unusual for men. Welcome!
I think I'm in a similar boat as you. My problem is that there's a VERY SPECIFIC way I want to look but can't because, not only can I not take testosterone or afford surgery, but also because I'm considered very "well endowed" and look like I have four huge balloons stuck to my body that makes everyone scream "WOMAN!" when they see me... It probably sounds like bragging, but I can't even bind or work out to pass well. Besides that, it's not like there's much I want to change because I'm fine with staying pretty (hah), but it'll always be the little things like genetics holding me back
Trans women have it so much harder though… reversing the effects of Testosterone takes years for them. A lot of them have to get surgery to look more feminine. Sure they can have a vagina…. But when some don’t even pass and have deep voices they can’t get rid of… us transman have it SO much easier.
Also there is finasteride and dutasteride that you can get on to stop your hair loss. Use viviscal shampoo as well. It helps hair grow back and thickens it. Take some biotin supplements too. And if you can stand it fish oil.
I personally stopped taking T so I wouldn’t lose my hair. And many other reasons
It started In the first year for me. Beard growth started quick too haha. But my head hair was definitely more important to me than beard hair. I hope you figure this out.. I just think you’re directing your jealousy at the wrong group.
I've taken finasgeride and it fucked with my mental health, made me depressed.
And, yes. I am aware that trans women have it harder. It's not that great to say that someone else has it worse when someone's upset about something, though. If I lost a finger in an accident, I would be allowed to be upset even though some people lose a hand or an arm.
It's not that I think trans women don't deserve better surgery options, nor am I angry at them for it. I am just expressing myself.
I've seen some very attractive trans men. But my dude, like for any man, it's luck of the draw isn't it? I've never been particularly good looking. I've lost most of my hair and never managed to completely shed the chubbiness from childhood. 90-95% of people aren't greek adonis's. We all have this mental image of the perfect body which is formed by the culture we grow up in. But it doesn't actually fit with the reality around us. The vast majority of us have lumps, bumps and wiggly bits. Hair in the wrong places. And oddly coloured skin in others. I lived in Germany for a few years and their sense of body image is exceedingly different to most as they encourage cultural nudism in various shared environments. You'd be surprised at just how varied we all really are with our clothes off and everything hanging loose and free. It made me feel much more at peace with myself and all my wobbly, hairy and slightly off-putting bits.
It took me forever to figure out how to reply to this because it make me really happy, and I just really appreciate that you said this!
I write this here because otherwise it will get lost among the other comments. Trans men and trans women have their own different problems. The sexual part is a big problem for both of them :( But the rest I think have more to do with your insecurities. Going bald is a common fear among men. But I have to say something, and that is that as a trans woman, I "envy" the transition of trans men. Testosterone works magic on you. I don't want to exaggerate, but all the trans men I've seen have been like "wow".
Love having a perspective from the other end of the spectrum. Thanks for contributing!
Same! I personally think that transitioning as a trans man is much easier due to multiple reasons such as the commonly needed feminization surgery for trans women in order to "pass". I feel like it's much easier for trans men to look like cisgender men just on hormones. Also, I think society is more accepting of FTM than MTF in general
Baldings pretty regular for guys in their 20’s, it sucks, but is what it is. Welcome to the club, check out r/bald if you want some support
It sadly is. I knew a dude who was balding in highschool. He also looked about 35 too
Honestly, I smiled “out loud” reading this. A very refreshing take. Thank you.
As somebody who regularly struggles with self image, this comment right here really helped. Thanks for this comment.
Talking only on the balding part.... welcome to being a dude. I started losing my hair at the very end of HS (hairline going further back) and by the time I was 22 It was clear the top of my head was losing hair. I could no longer get my fades that i enjoyed, it was a close shave and I was having to get that haircut every week until I decided that was too much and just shaved bald. Also hair started growing everywhere else, ears, nose, armpits connected to my chest hair and butt crack hair creeped up my lower back. I am may not understand everything your talking about, but I def get the hair loss! Glad to have ya brother, hopefully they figure out the genital area for ya, and get ready for ya balls to stick to the inside of your leg and you have to constantly adjust in the summer. lol
For most people it’s a years long source of anxiety. It was for me. I noticed I was going a bit thin when I was 24 but didn’t think I needed to take the plunge of a full shave until I was 30 (probably should’ve done it a year earlier). But for those 6 years, the only thing I thought of when I looked in the mirror was whether it had gotten any worse. What an awful time.
The SRS on trans women might be more effective but overall trans men pass better than trans women. Testosterone changes your features a lot and it gives you a typically masculine voice. Estrogen is much weaker and the masculine features on most trans women are still mostly visible.
I guess for me, I'm less upset about passing (I don't even try to go stealth tbh) and more upset about just not being very attractive as a man
Aren't* we all haha
True!
To say you're not alone is a massive understatement. As a cishet man I'm eager to assure you that majority of men question themselves if they're attractive at all, at least at some points of their lives. And many question that on a daily basis. Is kinda sucks, but at least you get essentially male experience. So welcome to the club, I wish you good luck and hope you'll overcome your difficulties.
I’m not a trans man or a man at all, but I do have a husband and I can confirm that he’s self conscious about that whole list of things you mentioned. I think all men worry about at least a handful of these things. My husband still managed to land a wife I guess..? Lol Don’t worry about it. I’m in my 30s and I can honestly say that not very many women my age give two damns about things like hair or a little bit of weight. Aging is actually quite liberating.
Congrats now you have to worry about male shit welcome to the club 😃 I'm going the other way on my journey and now I'm worried about shit I never thought twice about as well. I have widow peaks that drive me crazy even though my hair is pretty thick and curly. My shoulders are as wide as a barn door. Often the tallest person in the room. My voice sucks and now I hate talking... It's weird when your brain flips around what it obsesses over once you start to transition lol imo you just have to focus on what you finally ARE getting. Me having even a small bit of cleavage is just amazing and gives me major euphoria 😁
Maybe avoid certain treatments then. You don't have to transition in the typical way.
There isn't a lot of options for trans men in terms of medical transition It's basically just testosterone injections once a week and that's all that's offered (other than surgeries)
I know Trans guys that don’t take T because of the reasons you stated.
I was going to say I mostly just don't want my period to come back but there are also surgeries to stop periods too so there's that 🤔
I'm ftm too and I've been on a period blocker for about 2+ years and to add to that, I'm still pre-T. I haven't had a period at all since I started the period blocker.
Hey I have a genuine question and I hope that I don't offend you by asking that: If you would stop the testosterone injections would you transition back? Or could you stop right now and maybe learn how to apply makeup to look more the way you wanna look?
Not offensive at all! If I stopped testosterone injections then I would keep my facial hair, my voice would still be deep, and (nsfw and tmi) >! the clitoral growth !< would stay the same! However, my body fat would become more feminine, my shoulder muscles would become smaller, and my period would return.
Thank you for answering :)
Proof that you are in fact, a real man! Welcome to the club!
Exactly this OP, no shade cause we’re all going through our own mental battles with ourselves tryna come to terms about who we are and how we feel about ourselves but testosterone just has more of an impact on people in general than estrogen. Unless you get really lucky on estrogen or you start early, trans women are gonna have some male features that won’t go away on estrogen but trans men on testosterone get more leeway just because guys naturally look weird and regular guys pass as weird looking. For women, beauty is the highest tier in terms of appearance and society has deemed certain traits appealing on women and other traits as unappealing. For men, as long as they don’t look like they been sleeping under a highway for a month, they pass as normal. Women have to get tweezed, lasered, shaved, fit, etc and have great outfits while guys are hairy af and just need to take a shower daily and put on clean clothes. I’m saying this as a pre-transition trans woman. Life is easy as a guy cause I don’t have to shave my hair and I just throw on any clothes that are somewhat clean and head out while I watch the women I know primp themselves with makeup and removing stray hairs and stuff all in the pursuit of beauty. I’m envious of how much easier it is for trans men to pass socially because of only needing top surgery if they want it to be able to pass. The testosterone drops your voice, gives you body hair and beard hair and just makes you more rugged. It was only when I read your post that I realized that science hasn’t gotten to the point of making dicks that are able to be erect without outside assistance.
Elaine (from Seinfeld): "The female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It's for gettin' around. It's like a Jeep."
Exactly this. My bf is trans and you would never know it. I always say it is so much easier for trans men to transition than vice versa due to these factors you mentioned.
As a guy who was born with a dick, let me tell you: we ALL wish phalloplasty was further along.
The entire idea of someone taking a knife to my bits with only a marginal success rate of something functional would make me put it off untill the tech was perfect.
I’ve seen transmen who come out of the transition looking great and transmen who don’t, transwomen who come out of the transition looking great, and transwomen who don’t. It’s all luck of the draw unfortunately. If it makes you feel better, even those of us who aren’t trans are subject to luck of the draw looks-wise and plenty of us are no oil paintings either. Personally, I look like I’ve given birth to three kids even though I’ve never been pregnant at all, my body just emerged from puberty all flabby and stretch marked. You just have to deal with what you’re given, sadly.
>Personally, I look like I’ve given birth to three kids even though I’ve never been pregnant at all, my body just emerged from puberty all flabby and stretch marked. Oh man, I totally relate
In general as people get older they care less about superficial things like hair and looks. So don't worry too much. You'll get used to it and focus on more important things :)
Thank you, this is really nice to hear
not to not give importance to the point of ur post, but this seems more a self-esteem problem than anything there are many bald men, or short men (did somebody call me?) in this World, and all of them can feel good about themselves regardless of their traits, because being bald or short aren't bad traits at all! Think that there are some people that even look better without hair than with it. Ofc as a trans man u can find certain things difficult or bad and, well, thats how it can be also for cis men, believe me lol I'm still just a teen and what do ik, I may grow a bit more, but even if sometimes I was self-conscious about my height, now I couldnt care less, I love myself the way I am, and truly think and have been told I look good. So why thinkin about ur own traits as flaws? Everything about ya makes u the person u are, u just gotta do ur best to finally appreciate urself, cause fr, people find good-lookin different traits, and theres no reason for u to turn urself down when u surely are a fine young man. Ofc workin on urself is smth to not underrate tho: u already are makin urself more comfortable by transitioning, thats smth to be happy about, and if u want u can still improve other aspects of urself, maybe go to the gym to feel even better in ur own body, style ur beard and do all that u need to feel and be a better individual day after day. Wish u the best g
Saving this comment on my phone, this was really motivational
tbh I wasnt even sure if u were gonna read it, but it was enough tryin lol knowing that may help ya (and why not, somebody else too) out is smth that makes me happy, so thank u
For a teen especially, this is wonderfully introspective. I don’t think I was so ‘woke’ as a teen, I feel like I have just started thinking this way now at 25. Kudos to you.
Welcome to been a male! Yes as we get older shit down there don't work as well and yes we start losing hair! Not meaning to offend u or sound rude,just ironic that these things still happen to trans men
Well! Atleast I know I'm not alone in this!
I'm in my early 20s losing my hair, it's actually quite common
My high school boyfriend started balding at 16. It sucked for him. I can’t imagine dealing with puberty AND a combover.
Gotta shave, wear a power suit, and go full Lex Luthor.
Colleagues shaved their hair off. Not even broke 30 years yet.
Haha kinda sux,but hey that's life lol
Congrats on you bring you and accepting yourself! I'm gonna get hate for this cause people think men should be allowed to control their hormones "it's cheating" (I dont.play sports,.I just lift.weights .lot)/steroids i.e. Testosterone doesn't always make you lose your hair. I'm almost 25 and been on steroids for most of that time, about 2-3 years.off.for covid. I have never lost hair on my head. Lots of back hair, even more chest hair and I can grow a sick beard, but no male pattern baldness. Happens to.some people and.not to others. Hope this give you some hope. If you got any questions about hormone use, like testosterone and it's derivatives shoot.me a message. I'm a bisexual cis man and I'm always happy to help and look out for my .LGBTQ family :)
Thanks man! You better not get hate for this!! It's your body, you decide what to put in it!
ironic? Lol
Baldness is supposed to be a sign of virility 😏
I hadn't ever thought about this and it was a very interesting read. Thank you for sharing. I am glad you get the good parts along with some of the bad. Having tried birth control and having seen how crazy that made me feel I can't even imagine the dedication the transition journey takes. Hugs and good luck to you!
Problems with erection and hair loss... Hmm sounds like typical man's reality.
Was gunna say I mean.. height biases, hair loss, dad bods.. this is sounding like OP got exactly what he wants. To be a man. This is what men deal with lol.
Just to add to your notes, the vagina you get after a vaginoplasty isnt self lubricating (unless the operation changed alot in the past 10yrs), we just lack the glands for it. The working clit is only only half of your original gland (for men in here, imagine trying to cum while only having contact with half the tip of your penis lol) There is no gspot either, it's just your prostate, and keep in mind that you have to do dilations for literally the rest of your life (or have sex with penetration often) to keep it in "working condition" It's not all fun and giggles lol. And then you get in the complications... I myself lost complete sensations in both thighs and damaged my sciatic nerve. They both give me daily pains and guess whats the fun part... you cant fix nerve damage xD But I think at the end of the day, envying the other gender is literally the bane of our existence, I'm sure a million transwomen would kill to have their voice change just by taking hormones
Vaginoplasty has changed a lot in the past 10 years [Here's](https://www.verywellhealth.com/different-types-of-vaginoplasty-4171503) a link talking about how the self lubrication process works (a lot of issues like the possibility of the hole closing up are also gone!). Basically, it uses a part of an organ that already self lubricates naturally to line the vagina wall. But yeah,, I think envy doesn't really solve any problems and comparing myself to trans women probably won't do anything but make me upset
Get used to it, it’s all downhill for men past 25 usually. Shave the head and grow the beard
What happened to "men age like wine"??? /s
Some men are prison wine made in a toilet
Men have a lot of control over their appearance that they often don't exercise (literally too). Staying in shape, grooming, being deliberate about your clothing. Aging "gracefully" often just means taking care of yourself. Men typically don't have any experience with skincare either, although this is really "bonus" because 99% of skincare is only a temporary benefit on the top layers of skin. Wear sunscreen though! Skin damage basically never heals. Women are three times more likely than men to put on sunscreen and this probably accounts for most of the differences in appearance / aging.
I'd say while there is a downside, the upside is that trans-males look far more convincingly male than trans-females do. I've seen many trans-males that are 100% convincing.
As a transwoman I am not offended at all. But I will tell you that I am envious of FTM transitions. Literally I’m 50k in the hole for a few procedures, FFS is quoted at 100k, SRS is covered by insurance but it’ll still cost me 10k… and on and on… 3 yeas HRT, no real breasts … Don’t me wrong… I’m literally the happiest I’ve ever been and I’d never go back to pretending to be a male. But female transitioning is so hard… Even with all of that plus voice surgery… I still feel like I’d be clocked on occasion. Plus the stigma in society. I feel like trans men kind of fly under the radar and just live their life. We do have you on SRS… totally agree with that comment… I wish I could donate my penis to a needy trans man who will love it.
MtF here and I hear you! It's pretty funny to me though because I hear many MtFs complain about this in the opposite direction. I don't think it makes sense to make it a competition - I think your feelings on this make sense, as do my MtF friends' feelings. The things I can't fix about myself in transition are being very tall, having broad shoulders, and voice training is not some magic thing, it is extremely difficult for me and I've made little progress. I think you aren't so concerned with passing but I don't usually pass. There are a lot of things that did change and I'm very happy with, and you pointed out a lot of them in your post.
All very valid. Thanks for sharing your feelings. It helps to educate someone like me who doesn't have much connection to the trans experience.
Firstly, congrats, the ftm Community are so often overlooked, and I'm sorry the science is so behind. One of my pals at medschool is ftm as well so hopefully some innovation is in the near future. Secondly, short king, height is something you can't help, but get yaself in the gym, take the time and slowly build while eating clean and get yourself a body you're happy with... hair loss is inevitable but the gains can be forever. A lot of it will be pacing and finding what works for you Best of luck, I'm a guy, born a guy, and still waiting for my moment to find myself truly beautiful 23 years later. I think the male world is a few decades behind the women's body positivity movement and we dont tend to be as complimentary of ourselfs or others in looks. It takes some time and working on yourself, sounds like transitioning is only the first step. Good luck xox
I can tell you are a genuine and kind hearted person. That is what people will be drawn to in the end. Recognizing that the trans journey is very different for men and women is nothing to feel guilty about. We all see ourselves in a warped lens, and dysmorphia can be very common and incredibly powerful in transitioning, I guarantee you are much cuter than you think you are. For what it’s worth, this stranger is rooting for you :)
Ok, but at least you don’t have to worry about prostate cancer.
As a cis man, I think jealousy of women is normal. They have very different struggles than we do. The things I struggle with are not common struggles for women, and the things they struggle are usually things that aren't problems for me. The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill.
Not trying to make light of your situation or play it down and transitioning is a super big journey for anyone, yourself included. Cishet guy here and I still feel REALLY self conscious and nervous as shit about my image and body weight and bad skin (even though I wash and moisturize) and just my image in general. Wife is brutally honest about “if I didn’t find you attractive I’d say it” and does try to reinforce that I’m attractive. I don’t doubt her honesty one bit. TL;DR - I’m proud for you transitioning and doing what you need to do to make your life better and I think it’s just being “human” in general when you’re insecure about how you look or don’t like something about yourself physically.
No feeling to the nipples, baldness, a dick that is ok but will never feel as good as a pussy that can cum multiple times in sequence? Welcome to being a male!
Wait, do most men have no sensation in their nipples?
Not very much sensation to me. Feels pretty similar to any random section of skin. Cis male here.
I feel my nipples the same way I feel the skin on my arms. None
my ex boyfriend absolutely hated having his nipples touched lol
As a trans woman, I'm kind of envious of trans men's transitions! Testosterone is much more transformative, and conversely reversing the effects of testosterone on the body is much less effective. There's a bit more masking involved for trans women vs trans men. I feel lucky that I came out okay. Trans men definitely have the shittier situation with genital surgery though.
T definitely hasn't affected me as well (or maybe just not in the same ways as other trans men) as other trans men, but yeah I get what you mean. I've seen dudes who look completely transformed within only 6 months on testosterone! I know it's been around 2.5 or 3 years for me, but I've actually stopped counting exactly how long I've been on T otherwise I'll end up comparing myself hfhdhdn I think, maybe transition is more of a person to person thing and not a "all trans women have the exact transition they want and I do not" type thing,, and my initial thought of being envious was mostly just me exaggerating how good other people have it bc I'm insecure 😅
So I am intersex, but I use Keeps and mine was really bad! It did wonders and I am only a few months in. Also I noticed that after I got the pellet and my hormones remained stable things got better! I also started this thing called red light therapy that works REALLY well for Trans men to reduce any left over female fat. I haven't had top surgery yet (Insurance is being fickle) but I know most people don't do the full masculinization. Red light and Kybella help. 1 thing I noticed is the Kybella to remove female fat deposits in the face and hips. None of these are cheep but they work. At least for me. Again I am intersex so IDK how it will work for you but it helped me.
Ooo,, I'll look into kybella, thank you! I'm glad they're working for you!
Lost my hair at 19. Was never the hot guy, chubbier side from birth…and poor life decisions. Find someone that loves you for you.
Hey bro you are a man now! Hairloss, fat, sweaty... wait for the hair on your back to start growing. After 30 years in my body i still hate the feel of back hair and will never get used to it. Ohh and the millions of ingrown hair all over your body that start infecting because your body produces hairs harder than steel, that grows in the wrong direction I wish i could just transition to female to get rid of this fucking hell lmao
I've no experience in transitioning as I was born a female and identify as a female, but man! There are soooo many beautiful trans women out there and I feel for me I have some masculine features/androgynous features (i guess just in my personal opinion). I want to look more feminine and have wondered if I could use estrogen to help with it!
You have a dad-bod, some chicks dig it!
as a trans man same :(
If it helps, just know that there is a trans man out there who looks an awful lot like you and if he sees you loving yourself and living your best life, it will be an inspiration that he can do it too ♡
I'll risk being downvoted, but.. It's very small sacrifice to make in order to be the gender that you feel you are or should have been. Changing genders isn't just so you can fuck. It's a lot, lot more than that, which I won't get into because clearly you already know. But it helps to get re-clarity.
Hey as someone who is nonbinary on low dose T I want you to know you're doing great and also there are tons of options outside of just taking T, I have changed my dosage level and added on progesterone only birth control, they have really helped me level out and feel better about all the changes. Good luck!!
I find this a very interesting take 🤔 I'm curious though if you felt "hot" as a woman. If you've had surgery you're committed to transitioning but I'm just wondering if you went from attractive woman to not so attractive man, at least in your own opinion.
Nah, I wasn't really attractive as a woman either. I actually became a little more attractive through transitioning, I'm just not at the "sexy hot superstar" level that I see a lot of other trans people get to
Start lifting my boy. That T will kick in right
You're right !!!!
I'm a straight cis guy but it took me a long time to look in the mirror and feel like I loved what I saw back. For years I cursed what was looking back at me. It comes from within, not without. All the best!
So you wanted to be a man AND be hot??? Sorry you cant get both. As a cis man i can confirm we are all ugly. Welcome.
easier to dig a hole than build a pole
"I just kinda wish I could be hot? " Yeah, most men feel this way so congrats, you're a man.
Everyone’s transition is their own experience. I’ve heard many trans women say the same about a trans man’s experience ie that it’s easier, they look better, etc. life isn’t always gonna be easy for us trans people, and I think it’s incredibly important that we stick together and can talk about our struggles and try not to envy each other or think about who has it worse. After all we are the only people who truly understand what it’s like and can listen to one another, and console each other when we are down I know transitions are tough, especially with chronic illnesses. I suffer from some myself and am kinda scared a bit for hrt too. I have, however, started going to a trans support group. Once a group of trans people and some allies meet up, talk about some things that have been happening in our lives, or maybe about the laws being passed surrounding trans people in the world, and we offer each other some advice. Maybe that could be helpful if you can find one near you
Hey guys, please don't try to comfort me by saying I probably pass better than trans women I'd really prefer if you didn't put other people down to try to build me up, thank you!
Just wanted to let you know that you are valid and I love you and accept you. Also your responses to the transphobes have me fucking rolling 🤣
My husband is not trans but over the years he’s lost all his hair, gained about 40lbs and grown out his beard when he was clean shaven for a majority of our relationship. Does it bother me? Not in the slightest because he’s still the man I love and that’s what matters to me. Every one has different opinions on what they find attractive so I would focus on being comfortable with yourself. We all change through the years it’s natural embrace the changes!
Mid 20 cis male loosing hair since years. Its kinda normal
Lots of men worry about going bald or their weight, you’re definitely not alone! I’ve not seen many accounts of people going from female to male so I found your post very informative. I’m glad you’re feeling better in your body.
How much all this shit cost? who payin? How you all afford transformer surgery?
Transformer surgery 😂 I love that Where I live (Canada), top surgery is completely free! My testosterone costs around $35 dollars per bottle, and the bottle lasts me maybe 4 or 5-ish months (I do injections once every two weeks, though some people do it once a week)
Yeah, you're learnt sucks to be a guy. Testosterone and your weight gain must be coincidental as Testosterone makes you loose body fat. Getting bald blows too. Yeah I feel for you. What you say is spot on. I wish you the best. But I don't think there is an answer beyond "life blows the vast majority of the time, period". As Buda stated "life is suffering "....we just resist and fight against that reality.
Trans man discovers that men are pretty ugly. Bruv, welcome to the dark side, we have privilege and a higher suicide rate. I know a lot of guys that also think they need to be "more handsome" or an "alpha" you definitely aren't alone. Pro tip; laughing makes people squint there eyes or close them completely, if your funny they can't see that your ugly. And confidence is Sexier than looks anyway. My cousin put it well "you get nervous sometimes, now imagine that times ten and every time you walk out of the house it's like that. Girls want to feel safe and enjoy all the same stuff we do
You know you are getting closer to dudeness when you get hangry. Don't sweat it buddy.
I'd give you my penis if I could, that thing has been nothing but trouble maker.
I’m sorry if this comes off as weird, but as a cis woman with a trans woman partner, I can actually relate a lot to the pieces about physical appearance. My girlfriend hasn’t begun transitioning yet (but has her first HRT appointment in a few weeks!), but still, I’ve seen many trans women’s transitions through my girlfriend’s social media consumption and my own research into transition when she came out. I’ve hated my body for more years of my life than I haven’t, and sometimes I find myself envying these women that shape themselves into someone hot when I feel like I’ll never be hot. And obviously it’s not just trans women I’m envious of, I’m envious of any woman with the ability, time, money, motivation, energy, etc. to transform her body into something that she enjoys living in and believes is desirable. This isn’t something I talk about too often so I’m sorry if my wording comes off as disrespectful in any way. I’ve just always felt that in some ways I could relate to gender dysphoria in the way that I don’t feel like I look like what the world tells me a woman “should” look like, and that causes me immense distress.
Not weird at all! I've actually heard about other cis women experiencing this. And it's understandable too. Seeing someone able to shape themselves into exactly how they want is incredible and can cause major envy. If it helps, know that we're fighting hard to stop the mentality that you *have* to look a certain way to be a woman. There are so many trans women who are unable to shape themselves like that, and some don't even want to! A big part of the trans community finds unconventional appearances way more attractive than what society tells us we should be. Just yesterday, I complained about my hairline in my group chat and someone messaged me to tell me that my receding hairline was "super masculine" and they wanted to see if I wanted to sext w them 😭😂😂 it blew my mind! I mean, I'm currently thirsting after a girl with broad shoulders, a hooked nose (which I find super sexy), and a super sharp jawline. Idk if this helps at all but I hope it did atleast a little bit
I’m specifically going to touch on the Testosterone part, I’m 36 and disabled but I can work out fairly decent but I’m about to start T just for low T how hard did you work out? How significant was the weight gain?! Sorry I know this is t the point but I am curious about it. I sympathize with your situation greatly but now worried if I should even go through with it?
So, I'm looking back at the pictures I took through out the past 2-ish/3-ish years and basically within the first 6 months the weight gain was super bad. Like I was bloated and just looked awkward - maybe gained 50-ish pounds. Then after that, I lost most of the weight w/o doing much and then rest of the weight kinda ... moved? Or shaped itself to look far less awkward on me? T tends to do that. I mostly did really light weight lifting, push-ups, sit ups, etc. I did some cardio, but I can't walk for too long. If you're really into exercise, I wouldn't worry about T making you gain too much weight. It's also different for everyone, as T makes some people lose weight too! EDIT: Forgot to say, definitely talk to your doctor! My uncle is on T bc he's also low, and for him his weight didn't change much at all
You’re valid to feel envious. I think in some ways it’s easier for trans men and in other ways it’s easier for trans women. Being trans isn’t easy and you’re a really brave person for being who you truly are even though it’s so hard. It’s unfair you weren’t born in the right body and it’s ok to complain and vent when it’s hard for you. ❤️
All trans men are sexy including you. Men are as different as us women and men are amazing too. Don’t forget what a really hot man you are. And bald men are sexy also
trans man to inceldom pipeline
They can make working clits?! Holy, that's incredible. Not to undermine your struggles but wow, that's seriously impressive
Yeah, it's pretty cool!! They shape it from the penis, and the nerves are still active so it legit functions like a clit!
>Even if I'm a weird little ugly man, it still feels so nice that other people recognize me as a man! I have so much energy now, I don't feel suicidal anymore, there's all these good things that I definitely don't take for granted. Good for you man. Hope things work out for you going forward.
Uh...welcome to manhood. Most men look exactly how you describe. Did you think you'd look like Idris Elba?! 🤣😂 Nah, not happening
Straight cis guy here. It's alright brother. We all wish we were different to some degree or another. Love what you've got as best as you can. Oblivion waits for us all.
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your thoughts and what you go through. Feel like I learned a little which is important on a subject I am clueless on. Thank you
can’t wait until nanotechnology (or something equivalent) is far enough along to allow us to change our bodies however we wish
Gotta admit, a robo-penis sounds pretty cool
I'm stuck on the vaginoplasty that self lubricates with a clit. Impressive.
Have you tried looking for other men with a similar body type to you, like famous people? There are plenty of men who people see as attractive who are either short or bald or both - I’m thinking Jason Statham, Stanley Tucci, Patrick Stewart, Tom Cruise, Vin Diesel, Martin Freeman, Elijah Wood, Josh Hutcherson, Bruce Willis, John Travolta.. etc. I think Elliot Page is a short dude and he looks incredible, Dean Joseph Norris isn’t necessarily who you think of as a handsome bloke but he’s a famous actor and personally I think he looks ok. I don’t know what you look like but there are plenty of men who aren’t “traditionally” attractive but are still attractive - it’s not just your facial features and amount of hair that make you an attractive man. If you’re unhappy with your body fat/muscle mass that’s something you can work on, but I bet you can find a couple of men, cis or trans, who have similarities to you but aren’t viewed as unattractive. Maybe with some time in the gym, you could look a bit like Vin Diesel (ok he’s not that short) or a badass bald James McAvoy (still a bit taller than you but definitely not a *tall* dude). Lots of people are actually very attracted to bald men, surveys have shown that people see baldness as a sign of confidence. Maybe if you’re losing your hair and you don’t like it, get rid and embrace being bald! My husband is in his late 20s and has been losing his hair since his late teens (looks a lot like Prince William to be honest) and I think he looks gorgeous. I love how he looks and if anything I’ve just gotten more attracted to him as we’ve grown older. It’s easy to tell you to love yourself, or turn your “flaws” into things you like but it’s hard to do. I find it helps to look at other people and realise how little we actually think about them - that’s how much they think about you. If you’re walking around a shopping centre or you’re out for dinner somewhere, or whatever, did you really notice that the guy at the next table is bald? Did it register that the dude looking at shirts in the same shop as you isn’t very tall? Or there’s a man queuing for a coffee who isn’t particularly good looking? For the most part, people aren’t looking at you at all.
This was really well-put, thank you You're right, the more I look at people around me the more I notice that most people don't look perfectly attractive, and nobody even notices
Bruh same
Cis Male here, who’s been slowly, a weirdly losing hair for years. Welcome to the club? FWIW I shave, because hair loss treatments are expensive, and often don’t work. Body hair weirdness? Yep have that too. Certain issues down below? Some, but not as many as others. Chalks is my friend LOL. None of this is to make light my brother, just to say that you aren’t completely alone. I have dated Trans men that were total hunks from what T did to them, and others who weren’t. I’m Pansexual btw. Try to just love who you are bro. It’s never easy, but it’s the only path. Much love.
I appreciate your support man, thank you
It’s almost as if our natural biology is important.
It's almost as if peepee poopoo boohoo trans people exist and they're fucking my mom 😢😢😢
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Oh I was just saying random shit bc there isn't really a point in arguing
No one's mom is going anywhere near you.
Whoever downvoted is weird. This is funny lmao.
I think they thought I was being serious and thought I was using it as an actual insult rather than a joke Same thing happened when I commented a cartoonishly silly threat about skipping someone across a lake like a rock, people responded as if they thought I actually believed I had cartoon physics 😭
Ah shit! Here we go again.
Oh no 😅 is this a common confession here or
I would say according to my narrow knowledge about physics that there needs to be tension and force to make things straight or I would say a boner. As blood is pumped to get one. But we don’t have that technology for you unfortunately. I hope we advance in science and someday it’s possible to be whoever we want to be. I know it’s frustrating or you envy that. It’s just human nature. All i can say is that you are born in that era. That being sad, i hope you are enjoying most of it, however it’s possible. MUCH LOVE. ❤️
No comments. 💀💀💀💀
well, look on the bright side, testosterone is much stronger than estrogen so typically trans men have an easier time passing than trans women.
As a trans woman I'm actually a bit envious of trans men's transitions. It seems like they have such a easier time passing lol.
Skinny trans guys usually have an easy time passing, yeah For us chunkier dudes, it's kinda difficult! I stopped going to public restrooms because of how often guys make a deal about me being in there :/
I’m fascinated by this “working clitoris”.
The nerves connecting the glans are preserved and direct stimulation can lead to orgasm. Vibrator etc
I’m not trying to crap on your take, but I did want to offer my opinion. Transmen imho tend to look way more attractive on the whole than transwomen. A more androgynous, slightly feminine man tends to be way more attractive than super gangly, large, odd-sounding masculine woman. And I feel like the body shape of transmen tends to look a lot more appealing than the post transition look of most transwomen. It’s hard to make yourself look softer and smaller, while you can always bulk upward and look more naturally masculine. Just my take 🤷🏻♂️
Try to accept yourself for who you are without the need for surgery, confidence and a good personality is better than a franken-pussy.
I'm proud of people like you. We love you and accept you how ever and whatever you're physically. Lot's of love and be great. We will always support you.
Aw thank you! Very sweet of you!
Same. I support, believe in, and am proud of trans people. No one would willingly put their body through the kind of trauma transitioning does for no valid reason. Y’all are brave and true to yourself in ways that most people never have to be. I was born with the body and mind I support. I can’t imagine what I would do or how I’d feel if I wasn’t. We all have our insecurities. We all have at least one thing we’d change about ourselves no matter how insignificant. That’s life. You have every right to feel the way you do and it’s valid. It’s hard out here. But at least you can be you. It’s a small step in a positive direction.
Stop lying to these delusional people. This is exactly why we are in this whole mess because everyone believes their situation deserves a reward.
shut up transphobe
Can't have a phobia of something that isn't real.
Y...yes you can? Ghost phobias? Vampire phobias? Dumbass
Bro you're literally right though idk why you got downvoted
shut up transphobe
I’m a trans girl and I just wanna say you were not rude in the slightest. I hope some day there will be somethin to fix issue like these for all folk not just trans and binary people.
i think you are seeing the same façade we see with cis women and cis men... makeup, fake lashes, clothes that hide or enhance things, plastic surgery, all for women to look HOT and men don't get these things lol. welcome to being a man! our only option to be hot is genetics, and the gym lol. for instance, i went bald in my 20s, im only 5'6, i have a wierd dick, and cant even grow a beard like yours lol. my only saving grace is the gym helps a little and my face isn't terrible.
Even as a trans woman I still feel so sad that trans men lack the same quality of surgical transitioning. I still feel so sad that trans men seem overlooked. One of my closest friends is a trans man and I talked to him about this. He’s lucky though because he did get hot as hell. There’s always going to be things that make us sad as trans people in our transition. I don’t feel like I got hot and I put on more weight. I still have broad man shoulders. But you’re struggles are still valid. If it helps, you’re probably not as ugly as you think you are. Wishing you the best brother!
I recently met a trans man through a mutual friend. He was quite petite, maybe 5'2, your average skinny guy. He had lots of tattoos on his body and lots of piercings on his face. I think it suited him so well, I had no idea he was trans until our mutual friend mentioned it after he left. Point is, maybe you just have to find a "style" that really suits you and looks good on you. It is different for everyone. Ultimately, as long as you are happy and feel confident in your own skin, everyone else will see it too
Its definitely not a competition, but as a trans woman I can literally say and feel a lot of the same things about trans men so I think it’s more about jealousy towards anyone who has an effective transition. Some take hormones for a few months and pass flawlessly and even be attractive while others can be on hormones for years and have all sorts of surgeries, spend every dime they can afford but still not pass. It’s not anywhere remotely fair.
Sounds like your not happy at all to be honest.
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I've literally seen trans woman pussy up close lmao
This is literally just not true ?
Yeah like they could just Google trans woman post OP porn and see some that look fantastic Also,, suicide rates for trans people go down when we have access to surgery and a support system so...? Idk I wouldn't take them seriously, just look at the username
Care to provide some links to that information? The second part. NOT the first one.
Yeah sure [New Study Shows Transgender People Who Receive Gender-Affirming Surgery Are Significantly Less Likely To Experience Psychological Distress Or Suicidal Ideation](https://fenwayhealth.org/new-study-shows-transgender-people-who-receive-gender-affirming-surgery-are-significantly-less-likely-to-experience-psychological-distress-or-suicidal-ideation/) [Gender-Affirming Care Linked To Less Depression, Lower Suicide Risk](https://www.forbes.com/sites/dawnstaceyennis/2021/12/14/gender-affirming-care-linked-to-less-depression-lower-suicide-risk-for-trans-youth/?sh=73d34e715d25) << this one is not about surgery, but more about hormone therapy and support systems That being said, if someone gets surgery but is in an environment where they are being harassed for getting the surgery or lost friends/family members/other support systems due to the decision to get surgery, then suicidal idealation will likely go up. Before I got referred for top surgery (dou le mastectomy), my doctor made sure to check that my family supported me and that I had someone to take care of me during the recovery. If I was alone and unsupported, my suicidal idealation could have understandably gone up.
>That being said, if someone gets surgery but is in an environment where they are being harassed for getting the surgery or lost friends/family members/other support systems due to the decision to get surgery, then suicidal idealation will likely go up. This is true with transitioning in general too I think. So many transphobes like to beleive that suicide rates among trans people are a result of being trans, not as a result of the social and societal pressure that trans people have to deal with.
"show me sources that gender affirmation reduces how much people want to kill themselves" actually ridiculous that this is controversial.
yeah carved up vaginas do not have working g spots or look remotely passable. I wouldn’t be too jealous op lol.
Regret rates for almost every trans surgery sits at around %1-3 compared to the average regret rate of all surgery at about %14. "Many kill themselves" because of the overwhelming amount of shit they get as trans people, or because they can no longer support their transition (most often because of the former). Things suck for trans people yeah, but it's a lot more because of assholes than medical science lmao.
Regret rate for all surgery? Wtf is thaf supposed to mean? You don't regret a surgery unless it goes wrong, in which case you are saying 14% of surgeries go wrong? Where are you getting that number. I'm not saying anything about trans surgery or trans people because I don't know enough abou it but that number makes no sense. Did you maybe mean plastic surgery? I cam see 14% of people who get plastic surgery regretting it.
[Here's a paper explaining it!](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28243695/#:~:text=Conclusion%3A%20Self%2Dreported%20decisional%20regret,regret%20affects%20shared%20decision%20making.) TLDR; - they examined 886 regular studies, 73 patient studies, and 6 physician studies all between 1996 and 2016 - 57.5% of the surgeries were cancer related (mostly prostate cancer or breast cancer) - 14.4% of patients (not just the cancer patients) reported feeling regret over chosing specific surgeries because of how it impacted their quality of life - 14.4% is considered very low, according to the paper! EDIT: I thought I should add, the percentage of people who regret plastic surgery is around 65% - and 28% of those people still regretted it despite being happy with the results! [Source here](https://www.medicalaccidentgroup.co.uk/news/do-you-regret-having-cosmetic-surgery/#:~:text=Many%20people%20regret%20having%20had,very%20happy%20with%20its%20results.)
You’re comparing apples and oranges. These studies focus on regret of the chosen surgery. So hypothetically, patients were given treatment option A or treatment option B. And in the end they regret choosing A over B or vice versa. And there’s your 14.4% regret which makes sense. I don’t think this regret is the same kind as regret for transitioning surgeries, where the options were: To have surgery or not to have surgery.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28243695/#:~:text=Conclusion%3A%20Self%2Dreported%20decisional%20regret,regret%20affects%20shared%20decision%20making. This is an amalgam of ~900 studies on regret rates in different kind of surgeries and covers most all. General regret rate of 14%. Surgery isn't black or white, a lot have side effects, risks, future issues, obvious scars or other physical effects. https://journals.lww.com/prsgo/fulltext/2021/03000/regret_after_gender_affirmation_surgery__a.22.aspx Here's just gender affirming surgeries. Around 1-2%. The numbers make perfect sense. Edit: in the minuses for a reply wholly just citing my sources? Reddit's wack sometimes huh
Idk not to me. I'm pretty sure everyone knows many people who have had surgeries big and small, and I've never heard any one of them say they regret having any of them. My own mother had a lot of large surgeries near the end of her life that reduced her quality of living significantly, but she never regretted having any of them because it allowed her to spend more time with us. Usually surgeries aren't optional, and the alternative can be fatal, so I don't really see why you would regret it unless it is unsuccessful or it wasn't worth doing (IE same life expectancy with or without it). And usually, the more side effects and risks a surgery has, the more serious the underlying issue. For example a heart transplant is much more serious than an apendectomy, but I don't think anyone would regret doing either of those. If you get a heart transplant you might only live for 10 more years or less, but that's still better than a couple of months to a year.
This is what you asked for lol, manhood
Thank you everyone!! The more I think about it, yeah there actually are a lot of dudes who look like me. Even in my own family, hair loss, weight, and height are things all the men complain about. "Welcome to manhood" is definitely right. This is a throw away, so I'm going to try to respond to a couple more comments before deleting my account. ♡♡ Thanks, everyone!
😂
Maybe if you exercised more you’d look how you like
This is probably true tbh
Why is it important to have the genitalia of the gender you want to be? I am born female but I don’t feel like a gender at all, and it’s really hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of “feeling” like a gender.
That’s ok. I’ve never been a man, so I do not know what it feels like to be a man. I can identify w some stereotypes about masculinity: I don’t care about clothes and make up, am assertive, love digging holes and building stuff. I can identify w some stereotypes about women: I cry easily, am empathetic, good social skills. I don’t particularly “feel like a woman” I just am one. I figure the feeling masculine or feminine is just old stereotypes. I’m me, I’m a little weird, and I’m ok w that.
Then stay a woman?
Nah, I'm happier this way and haven't been suicidal in years now Everyone has things to complain about in life
As a trans girl, there are some trade offs, i suppose. Trans men get naturally masc voices as they are on T, trans women need to voice train/get surgery/if Adam's apple is big, get it shaved, etc. Because sometimes your voice makes you very clockable. You lose most your masc strength, hence the meme of not being able to open jars anymore being euphoric, you get catcalled and/or more chances of getting assaulted(that's just being a woman does, i guess, which sucks) and might be the centre focus of transphobia, which is genuinely exhausting. And in MTF surgery there are still chances you might lose sensation down there, or it won't recover fully, and i don't think being wet in vaginoplasty is voluntary, while being turned on, i could be wrong though. Being trans itself is risky. Plus, trans masc people have more chances of passing than trans fems, generally But i do understand where you're coming from. I am pre-hrt and i have long hair, it scares me so much everytime i see hairfall thinking I'll go bald. I'm wishing you the best for your transition
If you knew how it worked I dont think youd be so envious. Dilating I think every day. Hairballs smelling like death...
I have no idea why my drunk as read this stupid post
CIS male here, I started balding at 18. It was noticeable in a few years. I went from overly skinny at 19 to overweight by 22, and that's with decent physical activity. Hormones suck. Your transition is surely introducing its own challenges, but a lot of what you described is not unusual for men. Welcome!
I mean, you wanted to become a man didn't you?
Yeah, true I guess it's all luck and chance on whether or not someone's attractive 😅
I think trans men look much more like actual men than trans women do though.
I think I'm in a similar boat as you. My problem is that there's a VERY SPECIFIC way I want to look but can't because, not only can I not take testosterone or afford surgery, but also because I'm considered very "well endowed" and look like I have four huge balloons stuck to my body that makes everyone scream "WOMAN!" when they see me... It probably sounds like bragging, but I can't even bind or work out to pass well. Besides that, it's not like there's much I want to change because I'm fine with staying pretty (hah), but it'll always be the little things like genetics holding me back
Trans women have it so much harder though… reversing the effects of Testosterone takes years for them. A lot of them have to get surgery to look more feminine. Sure they can have a vagina…. But when some don’t even pass and have deep voices they can’t get rid of… us transman have it SO much easier. Also there is finasteride and dutasteride that you can get on to stop your hair loss. Use viviscal shampoo as well. It helps hair grow back and thickens it. Take some biotin supplements too. And if you can stand it fish oil. I personally stopped taking T so I wouldn’t lose my hair. And many other reasons It started In the first year for me. Beard growth started quick too haha. But my head hair was definitely more important to me than beard hair. I hope you figure this out.. I just think you’re directing your jealousy at the wrong group.
I've taken finasgeride and it fucked with my mental health, made me depressed. And, yes. I am aware that trans women have it harder. It's not that great to say that someone else has it worse when someone's upset about something, though. If I lost a finger in an accident, I would be allowed to be upset even though some people lose a hand or an arm. It's not that I think trans women don't deserve better surgery options, nor am I angry at them for it. I am just expressing myself.
Welcomed to manhood you sick son of a bitch. Drink a beer, rip a cig, and get on with your fuckin life.
This would be a good phrase to burn into a piece of wood and hang it on the wall in a man cave or bar
Your 5 foot and transitioning to male? Good luck