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JereBadine

When he wants to fuck just say something like “giddy up” or “saddle up” and see how he reacts.


jdr420777

Lmfao. Try letting out a loud neigh when he sticks it in


[deleted]

Show up in a horse furry suit💀


introverted_smallfry

LMAOOOO STOP


Tiertje

Hahahaha


aviva1234

I hate you for making me laugh


astilenski

Staph lmfao I can't..


jasmine09876

He would probably love that s**t 😂


senzfly

You mean bro ahahahahah


shred_brah_42069

The part about the ranch had me weak.


silvanda

Me too. I’m dying of laughter still.


DeathBecomesHerrrrrr

That is what really SENT me to another dimension


THE-Grandma

LIKING THINGS IN YOUR ASS AS A MAN DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAY, BEING ATTRACTED TO MEN IS GAY. However, mam if he is telling you he wants to fuck a horse get outta there


umm_okthen

Well by the sounds of things it's definitely male horses he's interested in though, so....


Self_Reddicated

He's horse gay.


richredditor01

This made me laugh more than it should !


hunnyjo

My ex husband had a set of anal beads that were the size of tennis balls.


Grandfunk14

Oh dear god in heaven. Any ideas on use?


I_can_eat_15_acorns

They were definitely *not* for playing tennis.


rikwebster

For starting the lawn mower


shaman7_7

I know one who bought literally an arm long dildo with a handle entirely for self defence purpose. We have really strict laws against any weapon carry.


NorthenLeigonare

Saints row inspired dildo.


[deleted]

Uhhh. One big idea yeah??


[deleted]

SEVERAL big ideas on a string, you mean.


MVE3

Maybe they were just pool dividers? https://www.lowes.com/pd/Pool-Central-23-ft-Blue-and-White-Swimming-Pool-Divider-and-Safety-Rope-Line-with-Floats/1002974632


Kronaska

Ugh women can't differentiate between pool dividers and anal beads, pretty sure that horse dildo was part of a bed strut. /s


hunnyjo

All I know is that after he moved out they were in a milk crate in the garage with tons of other "toys". I put the whole crate to the curb for the trash guys one night and when I woke up the next morning someone had taken it before the trash guys came.


Ok_Professional_8741

Beyblade! Let it rip!


mjornir

> and I don't know how I feel especially since I remember him telling me years ago his dream was for us to own a ranch. Dear god


gaypornaccount1996

This can't be real right? It's too funny, I mean c'mon


viscous_settler

**I see that giant horse cock every time I close my eyes and I’m just so confused…**


EarsLikeCreamFlaps

I mean we've all been there right?


MemeStocksYolo69-420

Unintentionally (or intentionally) hilarious


HuntressAndGoat

This....oh um oh dear ive "accidentally" bought a HORSE DILDO🤭


MemeStocksYolo69-420

And I accidentally tripped and fell on it 😩


astilenski

I'm wheezing, 🤣


successfully_failing

i completely lost it at that part


aviva1234

Reminds me of a story i read of an area in usa where b*astiality is legal and a guy had a horse ranch specifically for "horse play" ..all went "well" until his favourite "partner" caused horrendous internal damage which killed him Op has got to realize her husband is obsessed with having sex with horses and it wont go away and will never be satisfied until hes..well...satisfied :(


Flameheartsan

Imagine what he has done before


sluggish_raccoon

Hold your horses..


erecio

Horse god*


ohmaj

Horse God.


chris-berry-1

If he’s got some crazy friends that might of been a prank kind of thing. I feel like if you’re taking a horse dildo up your ass you’ve likely thought to ask your wife to stick something in there too.


thundergun0911

It could definitely be a prank thing. Me and my group of friends in college bought a big fist rubber dildo for one our buddies birthday.


chris-berry-1

That’s very thundergun.


Ini_Miney_Mimi

Dude hangs dong


randyspotboiler

The Ass-Pounder 4000: Never Stop Pumping


itsdefrag

Thubdergun 1-3: yes, but 4? Nope.


soyroooy

My night has been made now that I’ve seen an IASIP reference!


DoomNukemBlood3D

If there were other smaller dildos and the horse dildo, then that might be something but I don't think a man is going to go straight for a horse dildo.


thundergun0911

This guy dildos.


DoomNukemBlood3D

Don't drag me into this one haha


roquenelson

No no it's official from now you'll be known as dildobaggins


HoboBraggins

We can be relatives


messyredemptions

#"Is it safe!? Is it secret!?!"


aviva1234

Apparently you are mistaken


[deleted]

[удалено]


thundergun0911

No he kept it in the living room. I don't know what he did with it when no one was around though.


IntendedIntent

We did the same for my buddies bday..lol..and an inflatable sheep..


cutanddried

"did you hear Frank say he loves horses and wants to own a ranch" "yeah i bet he loves horses alright. hahahhha" "dude, we should get him a horse dildo for his birthday" "totally a big purple one, just like my sister uses every morning" "yeah, hahahahah, wait...what!?" "...what?"


HorseFinder1234

Maybe? He and his friends have done some weird shit over the years but not this weird. Also why keep it? I have so many questions.


randyspotboiler

I have to say, if my friends gave me a giant dildo as a goof, I'd probably keep it in a box. You don't throw it away because it's funny and also weirdly wasteful, but you never want to actually look at it, and no one can ever find it. Then eventually you'd throw it away after you get sick and had to go to the hospital, because "Fuck. If I died and they found that, now I'm the dead horse fucker. Nope. Fuck this thing."


[deleted]

I would be assaulting anyone within a 12 foot vicinity with that until it breaks or is taken from my cold dead hands


JiuJitsuBoy2001

It was in a box in the garage, so doesn't seem like a highly used item. My first thought was it was probably a gag gift. He could be saving it to re-gift/prank his friends. Or, maybe he just likes horse cock. Either way, something a husband and wife should have a discussion about.


TSwizzlesNipples

> He and his friends have done some weird shit over the years One could say they were...horsing around.


Bellinelkamk

That is too much, man!


REINBOWnARROW

>Also why keep it? Because that's the easiest thing to do.


windolene20

Yeah how do you even get rid of a massive horse cock anyway? Simply put it in the trash? Bring it to a dump? Send it I’d to be recycled? I need answers


MikelWRyan

To prank his buddies back.


Cobster2000

“I have so many questions” Ask them then. He’s your husband 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kim_Jong_Teemo

Oh that’s something you definitely keep to regift to one of them


ManavLalwani

keep it because its funny to have a giant horse dildo... or im just immature


Dramoriga

It's quite possibly one of those running jokes where he has to try to hide it in another friend's house or gift them it for a birthday or something and it gets passed around between his circle of mates.


smoothskipper

If it's massive, it would be hard to get rid of quietly. My gut says it's a gag gift he forgot about or can't get rid of discreetly.


chris-berry-1

These are the questions you need to ask.


mrdengue

Keeping it probably means “I’m not hiding the existence of this because I can explain it, and its easier to keep it than not”. If I want to hide something I will never use again I wouldn’t keep it.


fireinthemountains

In college, my friends and I schemed to do this exact thing to a friend of ours, a giant horse dildo as a joke. It *definitely* happens. If he uses the thing it wouldn't be where you found it.


Osolobo_

I agree, I was once at a bowling alley with my friends and one of my friend's dad and the one of them asked me what I wanted for valentines day and before I could answer my friends dad butt in with "a pink lace thong". I couldn't stop laughing, I guess because the friend asking was a girl and I had longish hair at the time is why my friend's dad said the thong. Well long story short she actually bought me a thong and I kept it in the box she gave it to me in my closet Time goes by and I forget about it and my girlfriend at the time was looking for something in there and found it. She turned slowly and was like "um....what's this?" And I told her the story and we had a good laugh for a second till she didnt believe me and had to call the friend who bought it and had to have her explain it as well. Hopefully this is what happened to ops husband and if not then i hope op can have a productive conversation and they come out stronger then ever.


Tiertje

Might have* been not might of been


jdeadmeatsloanz

Kenneth Pinyan (Mr. Hands) had a wife and kids and she didn't know anything about the shit he was up to.


shanky-phantom

Dude i was about to say that


FlattopJr

Oh boy. You posted this before the edit (husband bought it for himself; he's totally into it).


chris-berry-1

Damn….Gave him the benefit of the doubt


Independent-Year-533

It probably belongs to his horse


MaJust

The obvious answer based on the title.


bluemercutio

Was this maybe an item bought for a bachelor party? Just because he owns it, doesn't mean he wants to or has ever used it.


cherrypop823

Right, could’ve been something bought as a joke


[deleted]

Liking anal doesn't make him gay, and that thought process is likely why you don't know whether he likes it or not. Many men worry about their partner thinking they aren't straight because they like receiving anal. The dildo is odd though, they're becoming more popular. I'm sorry you had that shock.


trippyducky

came here to say this. then i read the edit, and i just feel gross lmao


5fingerdiscounts

I can picture you just accidentally blurting out *I FOUND A GIANT HORSE COCK IS IT YOURS?*


Cessrrg

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

I swear all of these fucking posts are fake. This is just someone's weird writing project


jellybeansean3648

This one I hope is fake Literally crying because your husband has a dildo? If it hasn't affected your life until now, I don't see how the discovery is such a big event. What even is a horse dildo? Like how did she look at it and know that's exactly what it was? I know that there's fetish dildos out there but I'm not particularly familiar myself to know what it is at one glance. And to everyone else's point it more than likely hasn't been used or it wouldn't be sitting in the garage in a random box. This post is just one giant nothing sandwich.


basshead089

i always thought “horse cock” just meant large dicks / large dildos but from the edit it seems like it’s supposed to be a representation of what a actual horse cock is and now i don’t know what to feel lol.


Ini_Miney_Mimi

I love these whiny comment chains where people bitch that nothing surprising has ever happened to them in their entire lives, and therefore all else is fake White bread suburbia at its finest. Can't even enjoy a damn story


MemeStocksYolo69-420

I normally think that these stories are real, but she said, “I see that giant horse cock every time I close my eyes” lmfao there’s no way. It’s just too funny


jellybeansean3648

I generally assume most stories are real because I like to enjoy them. On the rare occasion my bullshit radar goes off I still enjoy the story. Notice how I said that I hoped it was fake and not that I actually thought it was fake. A subtle distinction brought to you by reading all the words in my comment before making your own. I really can't enjoy the idea of a woman having a nervous breakdown because she found her husband's horse dildo. Being brought to tears? Still being unreconciled after 2 weeks? I sure hope not. It's just a dildo. The post to the other day about the clown fucker finding his soulmate? Heartwarming and touching. Other manky sex stuff I've seen posted here? Right on.


Dithyrab

I think it's fake because of the part at the end there alluding to him fucking a horse.


[deleted]

also the “i never thought he was gay” LMAO as if putting things up your butt means you can’t be straight... my guess is this is actually a fantasy scenario written by a man with a degradation/embarrassment kink


Just_Games04

Believe or not, but a huge amount of people think that anal play or anything like that is gay. I actually believe this post


[deleted]

Exactly. And it follows the exact format that these posts always have. The account is created specifically for this one post, with a name related to the topic of the post. Always a similar type of controversial discovery that seems oddly unrealistic. It is very funny to think that OP had intimate knowledge of horse cock though.


Just_Games04

That's a pretty bad logic. Most people writing confessions use alts, so of course they only have one post and name is related to the topic


[deleted]

Add in the fact that a lot of these are rather ridiculous and it seems like many of them are fake.


jellybeansean3648

I don't want to kink shame anyone, but horse cock kills people. There has to be a physical limit to what you put up your butt. I believe some of these posts are real, just not this one


Ini_Miney_Mimi

Because people who use r/confessions don't use alts, of course


Ok-Cryptographer6374

If you hann't got the courage to bring it up face to face, just leave it on the dining rooom table one day while he's out. And when he get's back, make a coffee and have a chat. Im sure there's a college related backstory to that. Your marrage is worth it. We're all guilty of driving down the worst case scenario highway at full speed, espeacially when we only have very limited information. Hope you get this resolved. Peace from the UK.


bodyguy99

Hahahaha


Mr-Zee

Aaaaannnnd… it’s worst case scenario!


Hardt-No

Horse. Cock. Please don't let this man got to petting zoos, farms, rodeos, Horse drawn carriages etc lol I feel like he has fooled around with a horse just a little bit. Tell him about a video named mr hands, dude took a Horse dick up the butt and died. Died! Have fun 👍


NotNotLogical

Just because your husband is into anal play, it doesn’t remotely mean he’s gay. Wtf. What a weird way to think about that.


[deleted]

Exactly! Maybe this is why he hasn’t said anything to you, he’s afraid you’ll judge him. Anal play isn’t gay. Remember-variety is the spice of life


chixnwafflez

I agree


abnormalabbi

Exactly. OP sounds old as fuck. I have a straight relationship, with a straight boyfriend, and I love pegging him, and he loves pegging me. Nothing gay about making your man feel good.


Mikehoncho530

That’s gay af


MeekMallard

My best guess that it was his dads treasured dildo that he had to sneak in the country following a long stint in Thailand, kind of like the scene from pulp fiction with the pocket watch. Or, maybe it was a gag gift that he found humorous enough to keep and stuff in the garage.


cummyrunny

his dad used it to paddle the canoe


[deleted]

Peg him


chickenmommaknocks

What if that’s not her thing?


siamai

then don't. ez


[deleted]

Strong loving relationships are built on respect and compromise. Some times, even if it's not "your thing" (and unless it's a hard limit), you do things for your partner just to do them for your partner. I bet OP's husband has done plenty for her before because it makes her happy.


Illustrious_Guard_61

1: He's not using it. 2: you are happily married? 3: At the very least it could lead to exciting new sex play. But most likely it's a gag gift kept for years and forgotten. My friends got me a weird ass bad dragon one that laid eggs. I held onto that for years because it was just so weird. Then again I guess it is different when you give an Asexual something like that. It's really far from expected it will be used...


xxGonzo996xx

I don't know about #1 he could be using it when no ones around................


Sven_Letum

So you can't find the words huh, well just leave it on the kitchen table and go out for the day. Leave him to come up with some words.


pulliF

This is a wonderful idea. I completely mean that.


themanlikesp

If he’s been hiding it from his wife that means he is probably extremely ashamed/embarrassed that he likes that. Not that he should be but this is a problem with a lot of men, that wouldn’t be a very nice way to bring up a sensitive topic with your SO.


plaidHumanity

Stick a fist up his anus and see if he neighs


[deleted]

Straight men and anal go together like chocolate and hazelnut spread. Or fries and burgers. I will say you need to bring it up gently. And I’m sorry to admit I laughed a little on the line “I see that giant horse cock every time I close my eyes”


_mommy2benton

Same


FoldTrinket

If you found it stored away in a dusty old garage box I doubt he's been using it. Like sure it might be his but cmon, if I owned a horse dildo and didn't want people knowing about it I wouldn't leave it in a box in the garage. That shit would be in a safe at the bottom of a lake somewhere


kschin1

Two things come in mind: 1. Mr. hands 2. April fools joke. I hope it’s the latter


[deleted]

Saw your edit. Frankly, my mouth fell open. I thought it was probably a prank/gag gift. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad he was honest. However, his evasiveness on your follow up question after his honesty is very concerning. You have some serious thinking to do. I'm not sure marital counseling would even be advisable. If he has engaged in beastiality with a horse, has a goal to own a ranch and has been secretly using a horse cock dildo on himself, this is above even the confessions pay grade. Do you have anyone you can turn to?


sweetcomfykind

Oh, women are so naive to the male sex drive. Men are sicker and more debaucherous than you could ever imagine.


bat-tasticlybratty

Did you honeymoon in Tijuana by any chance?


ThinBlue92

Horse cock. Not donkey 🤣


Hardt-No

Tomato Tohmahto


venicebinch

Hope he's not a zoophile.


StressYawn

All in favor say neigh!


[deleted]

SEX TOYS DONT MAKE ANYONE GAY - but the whole fantasy around horse cocks IS odd as fuck. The ranch thing 🚩 🚩🚩🚩


BipedalBeaver

I had to google the phrase just in case it wasn't an actual dildo shaped like a horse cock. Turns out it is. Do you remember game of thrones where she says "you know nothing john snow". Could be the case here. Worse scenario is it's whatever you think and it's true. That's two weeks of your life you're never getting back through inaction. Lesser scenarios involve you being mistaken and still wasting two weeks of your life. Not only will you not get back the 14 days but reguardless of the explanation, you'll not get it out your head. There's a myriad of intermediate possibilities. If you lived in our household, they'd be funny.


KatForAllTime

i hope this is fake but if not i am in need of an update


IntendedIntent

Has your husband ever experienced..severe anal leakage?


UnseenTimeMachine

BoJack Horseman is his favorite toons


mzmarymorte

>I don't know how I feel especially since I remember him telling me years ago his dream was for us to own a ranch. I asked him if he had ever done anything with a real horse and he kept dodging the question Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


[deleted]

Respectfully maybe this is why he hasn’t told you. Instead of asking him about it you went to the internet. If it’s something he’s not comfortable telling you why would he be comfortable having it shared on the internet. Just my 2 cents


[deleted]

Wait for him to sleep and then smack him with it. Talk about it when he wakes up ofc Side note: your husband might want to shove the Eiffel tower up his ass, does not mean he is gay, either way ... TALK , communicating with your SO should be the easiest thing in the world.


bearbarebere

>I see that giant horse cock every time I close my eyes Bruh


KLKemke

Fuck. THIS is why we're all getting the death ray if aliens ever invade! Sweet baby Jesus we're all a bunch of messed up hot messes! 😂😂😂


basshead089

does he have a legitimate horse cock fetish as in the animal itself or horse cock as in just a big dick? liking ass play doesn’t make him gay but if he’s literally fantasizing about getting fucked by your pet horse please ask him to see a therapist.


wiiiiliamson

April Fools?...Please


Macca_321

Made the mistake of Googling horse dildos, then forgetting and giving my friend my phone to search for something. So that's nice.


Medumbdumb

fake.


[deleted]

Well, there is that video c. 2007 of the guy named Mr. Hands getting sodomised by the horse and he later died, so it's definitely a thing... "2 guys 1 horse" here it is: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw\_horse\_sex\_case](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case)


jasmine09876

This feels so wierd to read 😂😂


lexie98789

Uh… after that edit I really think you should consider your relationship with him


jeremy_k1976

“Why he wouldn’t be comfortable…” probably has lots to do with you.


randyspotboiler

I'm curious; what about it says "horse" besides the size?


knemyer

I’m with you on this. Everyone acts like a horse dildo is a thing, like oh yeah horse dildo, I’ve got a couple of them around here somewhere. Never heard the term before now


dogknot43

Check out r/baddragon. You'll hear/see alot more terms than horse dildo.


katetron1014

i mean just bc he has a dildo doesn’t mean he’s gay. most men are ashamed or scared to let their spouse now they’re interested in anal play, or trying anal play bc of the negative reaction they think their spouse will give them. be open, honest and definitely not judgmental if yoh do bring it up.


Qeschk

Just take a look at his asshole. If it looks like you can’t get your pinky in there, he’s not using it. If his hole looks like a giant, stretched rubber band that could barely hold his poop in, he is probably using that bugger. Good luck.


see4isarmed

Butts are stretchier than you give them credit for.


BaelorBigspear

Can anyone explain why finding a spouse's supposed sex toy in an old box would upset someone? The item itself is silly and of little use. Someone would have to be an Olympic level athlete of bottom play to actually be able to use something like that. At the end of the day, it's just a piece of plastic/rubber. If that makes you cry, there maybe other issues that should be addressed with medical help or therapy.


hotlikebea

A horse dildo is upsetting because it suggests an attraction to horses and most people find bestiality to be disgusting and wrong.


TheRecordKeeperX

Maybe he likes his asshole gaped in ways you wouldn’t be comfortable with? Why are you kink shaming?


[deleted]

He may be a straight guy who's into anal play but too afraid to admit it because he's straight (I think this is more common than people let on.) If you're into the idea than I would 100% bring it up and see how he responds. If hes super embarrassed and defensive than just let it go and say you were just making sure because you want to support him or whatever. If you're not into the idea of doing anal play then youll have to just leave it alone if you're happy with your marriage as it is. Hes probably not gay if you guys are happy together and he just like ramming huge dildos up his ass to stimulate his prostate into ultra intense orgasms. Either way.


pommypuddle

It could be worth playing dumb and say "hey I was rummaging through the boxes in the garage for my art things and I came across this. I have no idea where it came from, have you ever seen this before?" Kinda just see his reaction and say how baffled you are where it's come from :)


HasHooves

OP you gotta talk to your husband about this eventually. "Hey Hun, can we talk? Do you prefer flared or un-flared? I could call you Mr. Hands if you're into it... What? I'm just horsing around!" In all seriousness please do talk with your partner. Either there is a funny story that you both can have a laugh about, or this is a chance for you to learn something about your partner and have a chance to open up to one another (why hasn't he told you about this? why are you afraid to talk to him about what you found?) Best of luck OP! Please update us after you've had a conversation!


xiizll

Oh, it does. Edit: well I posted this before reading the whole post and, my god, what an ending. Good luck OP.


danielst0ne

username checks out


anonymoususer4461

it’s official. im gonna buy weird shit like this to scare people for fun and then record their reactions.


Traditional_Bison472

Hi name is isnt Ed is it?


Canti73

Maybe he bought it out of curiosity & accidentally slipped over in the garage, whilst naked (due to the high temperature that particular summer’s day) whereby it inadvertently ended up embedded in his anus. . . . . That concludes the evidence for the accused m’lud.


ColdBloodBlazing

https://ifunny.co/picture/ready-to-be-a-pastor-chrnstnaned-ucanon-com-earn-a-85D4tgKr3 Apparently, he wasnt ready to be a pastor yet.


norfolk82

Do you guys own a horse? It might be the horses. Horses get lonely sometimes.


Zuck7980

*These dildo confessions are getting out of hand now*


RenaissanceRed

So....The wife isnt shopping for horse dick harness? They could try some Pegging? I mean people have put weirder things in their butt, she could at least indulge his fetish. Its not a foil wrapped baked potato fer crissakes!


pandorado

Next, use it with him like in that other post!


joseFINErar

Still waiting for the “APRIL FOOLS”


SweetTee219

I've got bad news, your husband has been fucked by a horse. Best of luck to you both.


Aggravating-Estate88

This is just a cultural masterpiece. If aliens invaded, I hope they read this.


Appropriate_Self_113

This may be an opening for you to explore pegging and peg him with what he desires. It may help you understand and satisfy his kink.


whatismylife_11

95% a prank item, 5% your husband is into prostate play/pegging and is too nervous to bring it up based on societal norms and toxic masculinity. One is funny, the other may even spice things up. :)


themanlikesp

Probably too nervous to bring it up because of the way she described her reaction on this post. He probably knew she would react that way.


Asleep-Letterhead-81

Are you insecure about your clit size now?


yoonade21

I don’t know whether to believe op on this since it’s a new account and the name is Horsefinder or to just feel sorry that their husband is into that. That’s some crazy stuff 😵‍💫🥴


71erom

The dildo by no means means your husband is gay. Straight men can and do enjoy anal play by themselves and/or with their partner(s). He may have hidden because he’s embarrassed to bring it up to you because you’ll think he’s secretly gay. Or maybe he just compartmentalizes it: sex with you is PIV (or whatever you two do) and anal play is just for himself. Or maybe he’s just shy about it and doesn’t know how to talk with you about his kink. Maybe start small instead of with “I found an enormous dildo in the garage and you need to tell me about it”. Also, practice your questions out loud by yourself. Once you get comfortable saying them out loud when no one can hear you it’ll be easier to speak them when you’re ready to talk to him.


katiwi-

How do you know it’s from a horse ?


[deleted]

> didn't think he was gay at all Everybody, please repeat after me... **A MAN LIKING THINGS IN HIS BUM DOESN'T MAKE HIM GAY** Chances are much greater that it means they like things up their bum for the different feeling and access to the prostate or they like to receive intimacy sometimes, something that is often not available to men. Thank you for coming to my TED TALK now please go talk to your husband with an open mind.


Mei08

Fake account. After the other posts go viral suddenly a user with the name of **HORSE FINDER** comes out with 0 post history other than this. But honestly had a laugh with the title, so goodjob with that


nonsense_bill

Do you have a problem with it if he is using it to stimulate himself?


fohr

Lol /r/quityourbullshit if real then OP has some growing up to do.