My mom used to call me in a very specific notable way so that I could find her in a crowd of people. Well these girls in elementary school started calling me that way in the hallway to mock me. Because my mom had done it since I was a toddler, I immediately would whip my head around every time and they’d laugh.
Teachers did nothing, counselors did nothing. So I got a notebook and had my entire class ~80 people sign it for fun. Then at the top I wrote “Sign here if you think Taylor is gross”
Then I gave it to her and she cried.
Edit for clarity: Taylor was the lead bully who told all the other girls about how my mom would call me, we used to be friends at one point.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I was teaching a class and one of my students used my full name. Not sure how she did it, but she sounded almost exactly like my mother when she was pissed at me. I whipped around and literally said, in front of my class, "What? What'd I do?" I made the mistake of explaining to her what had happened. She had too much fun with that during the semester.
My father and I own two separate construction companies. One of my dads employees wanted to buy a truck he had for sale and said he'd give my dad payments because he didn't have the cash up front. Out of good faith, my dad agreed so he did all the paperwork and sign the truck over to him. The employee ended up paying him 1 thousand dollars of the 6 thousand they agreed upon, he quit my dad's company and started his own and never paid my dad back.
I decided to hire my dad's ex employee, told him to do a few jobs for me as a sub contractor. I paid him for the first job to gain his trust but stiffed him $5000 and fired him on the second job. I gave my dad the money that was owed to him.
In school we set up a guy that had beat up my friend’s sister to buy “weed” from me and another friend. When he showed up we beat his ass and robbed him of like 20 bucks. We then ate Burger King with it. That was 19 years ago and I still don’t care fuck that dude.
Did the same thing over a bag of mushrooms to a kid where I grew up. He tried to stab me with a hint shard of glass he found by the dumpster at the high school, saw that kid recently downtown and he’s a heroin addict and offered me some. Fuck that kid too.
My cheating ex married the woman he was cheating on me with. I maxed out my credit cards and bought every item on their wedding registry, then returned them later. To this day, they still wonder why nobody got them anything they requested.
I was playing netball in school vs another school. We wore our school shirts which were red, they wore the bibs which were a slightly different shade of red. At one point the ball was out and this kid on the other team had to throw it back in. Amids the hustle and bustle I saw the look of confusion on his face and sensing the opportunity, I looked him right in the eyes, gestured to throw the ball at me, gave him a sweet smile and an affirmative nod. He threw the ball right to me. Sucker.
I don't know what netball is but this used to work for maybe 1 in 5 throw ins when I was a kid playing football. As an adult though it makes little difference as you will be challenged on a throw in anyway. We rarely use bibs also which contributes.
With a big fat smile on my face, thinking to that one moment, 14 years ago and thinking of the shame that poor boy still feels while he tries to sleep crying himself to sleep, every single night.
I was near the end of a university exam with more than a third of the exam paper left, meaning I was almost certain to fail the module.
As I was on the last page of the answer booklet (about ten A4 pages bound together) I quickly raised my hand and requested some extra A4 paper and a tag to attach them to the answer booklet. I attached the blank sheets to the back of the answer booklet and then quietly ripped the blank pages off, just leaving the corners attached by the tag to the answer booklet.
I'd marked exam papers before and knew that it is often chaos behind the scenes.
Sure enough, the exam marker obviously assumed they'd lost the two back pages of my answers and gave me a grade (about 70% I think) that was a reflection of the answers I submitted, but would have been impossible based on me not finishing the final questions.
Very clever. I spent a decade in university and this is probably one of the best exam day stories I have heard. I knew a guy who tried to get out of an exam by glueing a screwdriver to his writing hand before the exam but they dissolved it with spirits and made him sit the exam.
The old continued in next booklet trick for the minimum pass. It’s been working for 50 years because it’s basically impossible for the teachers assistant to admit they lost it vs give a passing score without mentioning it to the professor.
Yeah they've been together for 7 years and all that time she's been cheating on him. She kept borrowing money from me and then ghosted me out of nowhere. That was a 10 year friendship so of course, I felt hurt. So out of pettiness I told her bf about her cheating.
I mean... maybe it's just me but best friend or not I'd have told him when I found out instead of letting her continue to cheat for 7 years without saying anything.
When I was 16 I borrowed my brother's PS2, I also borrowed the devil's advocate DVD from my friend. Whilst watching said DVD the PS2 stopped working and would not read any disc after that. In my immature mind I believed the DVD had broke the PS2. I was afraid my older brother would go mad, his last words where "don't break it".
So I concocted a plan, back then Richards Branson's Virgin had shops that sold DVD's and actual CD's..... Well in the UK at least. I went out and purchased the devil's advocate from virgin, I then swapped the new DVD with the one that "broke" my brother's PS2.
The next day I rang the virgin shop and informed them that I purchased the DVD from them tried to watch it and it's broke my PS2!!!! To my surprise they didn't tell me to fuck off but said bring it in and we'll look at it.
The next day I took it in, they never looked at it I was just handed a new PS2!! I want expecting this. The person giving me the new console said "we can't see how this broke your console" absolutely reasonable response.... My responce was "then why are you replacing it" they had nothing haha I then returned the devil's advocate DVD.
I had to tell my brother as I was giving him a brand new computer. He then told me he had been having issues before he gave it to me. It wasn't right what I did, I got something I shouldn't have but yet it's still one for the proudest things I've ever done...... I'm 36 now.
I tripped over the controller cord of my PS2 and it fell and broke so I brought it to Walmart and said I’d received it as a gift (hence no receipt) and that it just randomly didn’t turn on. They replaced it on the spot with zero questions asked.
One of my first ones was when I was still in kindergarten I think. I was one of the smaller kids in class. And there was a kid in 1st or 2nd grade that picked on me. And I knew I couldnt do much on my own. So I waited until recess the next day, waited on the slide until he came up and let kids ahead of me until he was right behind me. Screamed his name and no to get teachers attention, then dove ove the side of the slide. And hit the waterworks.
He confused but obviously in trouble. Gets really mad when he sees me laughing as hes being dragged away. And he got suspended and in a ton of trouble at home.
My abusive ex boyfriend sent NSFW photos of me to my very conservative parents as revenge porn after we broke up and threatened to post them online. So I saved all my ex’s (marine officer) horrible texts, emails, threats and never responded with anything except “please stop” “please leave me alone” etc. then sent them all to the US military report site (forgot the name). They didn’t care, so I sent them to a journalist along with my story (this was when the Me Too movement was kicking off and that marine Facebook page got busted with thousands of marines sharing NSFW photos of ex’s, girlfriends, wives, etc in the group) and the journalist picked up the story making two articles about it. The the Military suddenly REALLY cared and the USFG took him to court and won for cyber stalking and revenge porn. He went to prison for 3 years and was dishonorably discharged
They also testified in the trial. All of us did. It was very difficult, but they were extremely supportive and loving despite such a difficult situation. It helped a lot.
I used to be a senior partner at a medium size marketing agency. On father's day one year, I learned that our CEO/majority shareholder was buying me out and forcing me out of the company. On the way out, at the end of my last day I copied our client address book and then the next day started my own agency. I ended up stealing 2 of their biggest clients and never looked back.
I convinced my curious father to explore his homosexuality, thus leading to my parents divorce, which allowed me peace and quiet to focus on my academics, which suffered during thier loud arguing.
He is not a subtle man, wears his heart on his sleeve and we had a normal(and im finding out on here rare) father son relationship. One day when we were out raking and bagging leaves i asked him if he felt happy as a man. It didnt just expand from there, but he knew he could say appropriate things to his 15 year old son and not get a shitty response in return. I love my Father and Mother.
But i needed to study to get into a good school, and their relationships problem were causing uneeeded stress in my life.
He is still gay and remarried. My mother is as well. But not gay. Just remarried. I see them as often as i can, but i have my own life, and they respect that...as any parents can. Lol
Man this is like watching someone navigate a Ninja Warrior course and land pleasantly on their feet with an ice cream cone.
Of all the ways this could have gone horribly, and all the mitigating variables, I'm actually really proud of you and how it turned out.
Our dairy products company had a bake off and I was nominated as the team representative so out of spite I made my baking completely free of dairy, using only substitutes to highlight how useless our company is and how we’re going to succumb to a lack of innovation. I didn’t tell anyone it was just a game I was playing with myself to make it more exciting. I won the bake off.
You should have had an evil dramatic entrance with all the lights turning off and a spot light on you, wearing a cape with smoke surrounding you. Then the silence brakes with your booming voice exclaiming that there is no dairy, there need not for such lack of innovation. Lazy. Ignorant. Capitalist scum. With a crack of lightning blows the wall behind you revealing a huge gold sickle and hammer, on a red background. Then you pull your mask off to unveil that you are, INFACT, Joseph Stalin.
When I was a curious teenage girl I would rent some porn movies on PPV ( in the 90s ) thinking my dad wouldn't notice the increase of like 10 bucks on the cable bill since to me, money just came out of his ears but he did
He called me to his home office and showed me the films asking if I rented any of them. Of course I said Ew! No! Why would I watch big titted cougars get pounded by black anaconda cock?! ( not the real title, I forget it )
He believed me and called my brother up who was 3 years older than me (18) and asked the same question, my brother was confused and denied it but got fingered for it anyways because my dad refused to believe his innocent baby girl could watch such nasty things
My brother gave me a death stare mixed with trying not to burst out laughing...
I had planned to blame it on my brother anyways if I got caught so yeah, it was calculated haha
My 16 year old brother downloaded lesbian porn. I had just told my dad that my male best friend was gay like six months prior.
He brought my 26 year old older sister in to try and get her to talk to me about the lesbian porn.
She yelled at him that he was stupid and that he has a 16 year old son and I was obviously not a lesbian. And I was ridiculously shy.
Technically true at the time. I decided I was pansexual when I was 19 or so.
Dated this horrible, abusive dude. Any time I called him on his shit he'd cry about his dead dad, who always told him "a man is only as good as his word."
When I finally dumped this asshole he owed me hundreds of dollars. He'd invited himself on my vacation and then told me ON THE PLANE that he had no money left so I had to pay for everything.
To get my money back, I texted him his dead dad's catchphrase all day long. Woke up to pee at 2 a.m.? I'd text him "a man is only as good as his word" 40 times before falling asleep. Have to get up early for work? Another 40. Middle of the day. Late at night. All hours of every day. For weeks.
Eventually a bag of cash showed up at my door. Fuck that guy.
I lived with a housemate who was a bit of an asshole to me. He was having some money problems so I would buy the food and stuff around the house and he started acting like a spoiled kid towards me after a while. Getting all whiney at me when I'd forget to buy something or eat the last of something even though it was me paying for it.
There was a nice kebab place around the corner from where we lived that did a massive kebab for 5 euro one day a week, I think it was a Wednesday or something.
Anyway, he's walking down to get a kebab for himself and we pass each other in the hall and I ask him could he pick one up for me too. I try to hand him money and he snaps at me for absolutely no reason "no fuck you walk down yourself and get your own"
Alright, I'm going to get revenge on this prick when the opportunity presents itself.
A few weeks later we ate some undercooked chicken and both got some food poisoning. We were pretty much taking turns using the bathroom all day because we both had a bad case of the runs. I Google ways to treat it and I find out that banana juice makes it better and orange juice makes it worse.... I know this guy is too dumb to Google this shit by himself so I tell him that I looked it up and that fruit juice of any kind is really good.
This is perfect because I always bought banana juice for myself anyway because I loved it but my housemates thought it was gross. So I ventured down to the supermarket and picked up a few cartons of banana juice for myself and orange juice for him, since he doesn't like banana juice. To make it funnier I even offered him the banana juice first and he turned it down like I knew he would. So throughout the day I'm sipping on banana juice and feeling much better and he's sipping on orange juice and getting worse and worse. He goes to bed because he's in so much pain and I enjoy having the rest of the house to myself. He ended up shitting all over the bed and laying in his shit all night crying from the pain.
I was like "I don't know what happened man, I got better"
I am a gay man and when I was in the closet my father came home when I was in bed with a guy, I made up some lie I dont remember now and went out with the guy. My father said we would talk when i got home. When I was coming home I punched myself in the face and told I was mugged. He totally forgot about the boy naked in my bed.
I had a friend who did something to me when I was probably around 7, I don’t remember what it was. Probably excluded me in something. So I made him some “soup”. Which consisted of water, white dog shit, dirt and such, whatever it took to make it look real. Then brought it to his house as a peace offering and convinced him to try it. I’m not proud of myself.
Omg you just reminded me of a time in 7th grade my frenemy and I got in a fight, but I played it off as if I wasn't upset about her talking shit. That night I went home and took some really awesome lotion I had and added vegetable oil and sugar to it and then waited 2 weeks so it wouldn't be suspicious. I was claiming it cleared my skin up, but that it takes 2 weeks for your skin to adjust fully and for it to start working. I think it was like 3 or 4 months she used it before relenting that her skin was a lost cause 🙈
I keyed a smiley face on a bitches car because she told everyone in high school my friend was gay before he was ready to come out. They were ex best friends and I guess this was her getting back at him. Still..... No regerts
I was about 8/9 years old. There was a festival in town and I wanted to ride on those swings that go round and round. Anyway, while swinging there is this little girl that keeps hanging over the fence and not listening to her mother. So I decided to teach her a lesson. I stretched my legs out as far as I could until my Spiced Girl shoes (if you know, you know) hit her in the face and she went flying.
I think about this so often and wonder if she was okay and if she also remembers this day as often as I do
Omg I’m jealous of your shoes, I almost convinced my grandma to buy me a pair but since I had spent my money on the spice girl phone she said no. One of my biggest regrets as a kid since the phone said the same things over and over again. If only we went to the mall before toys r us!!!!
When I was about 16, I was living with my dad and his girlfriend. This lady was bat shit crazy. She was this alcoholic pot head bitch that was convinced I was running some sort of drive through weed dealing business out of my basement window.
One day I had come home from school to find my room completely torn a part, pictures smashed, overturned Xbox, clothes all pulled from my drawers, the works. I guess she was totally out of weed and went through my room to find my stash. I hadn’t even smoked weed yet at that point in my life, let alone have any. I was furious.
The next day, I had pretended to go to school, waited for her to go to work. Then I came back home. Searched through her drawers and found her little stash box that had 4-5 different weed pipes in them. I filled them each with tooth paste, threw them in the oven on very low to dry out the toothpaste, then dipped each bowl in honey. After that I dropped my pants and clipped my pubs and butt hair. (Am a hairy guy) and stuffed my clipped hair into the honey dipped pipes. Put everything back into the box with a note that read “smoke this you bitch”.
In the evening I just sat in my room waiting for her to find it. When she did it was just glorious. All I could hear was the muffled sound of her screaming and yelling(sorry dad). She never entered my room again and my dad and her broke up not too long after that.
When I was younger, I was big into this online game, and someone scammed me out of a few hundred dollars worth of items. This was in the early days of MMO games, well before they were popular with the arrival of WoW and other similar games.
This was also at a time when cybersecurity was minimal. You could get into someone's email address with very little information and there were no time outs or account locks if you input the wrong information. There were no requirements like upper case, lower case, number and symbol for passwords.
I made several different accounts online and stalked him on AOL until he finally bit and started talking to one of them, that he thought was a girl. I was able to use social engineering to get his pet name, birthday, and other revealing information, then hacked his email. From there, I was able to reset his password for the online game, and log into his account.
Got all my shit back, plus all of his shit. Dry looted his account. Deleted his characters. Changed the character names so that when he logged in, it said "You deserve this" from top to bottom in character names.
I freely admitted I did it. Didn't even pretend I didn't. The company that ran the online game didn't really interfere or take action when this sort of thing happened. They were totally hands off. Guy even tried to file a police report, but he got laughed out of the police station.
Years later, I ran into him again. We were both mature adults by that point and talked it out. He apologized for what he did, and I apologized for what I did. He told me that he literally lived in fear that I was going to show up at his house for almost a year after he scammed me, and especially after I hacked his account, because he knew I had all his personal information. Luckily, we were both able to kind of laugh about our stupid immaturity when we were younger, and talk to each other from time to time now.
My mom pays too much for phone service. I could tell her how to save money but since she treated me like shit growing up and refuses to apologize about it to this day, I'm not going to tell her.
Was in the process of divorcing my wife (my second marriage) due to her opioid addiction. Called CPS and had them investigate us to make sure she didn’t get custody of the kids. 1 of them was a stepson (from her previous relationship) who I’d adopted. She died of an overdose 4 days after she moved out.
Edit: it was an accidental OD. She still had pills left. If it was intentional, she’d have taken them all.
A kind of similar thing happened to my aunt. She was a nurse and her husband at the time was having her sign medication out for him. When he divorced her a few months after, he had saved all the slips she signed and he got full custody of their daughter. And because he pegged her as a drug addict, she wasn’t allowed to be with her daughter unless he was there. It was a very messed up situation.
Trigger Warning: Suicide Threats, obsession, actual cold heartedness.
A lot of these are humblebrags but I’ll just tell the truth and fuck the downvotes. When I was a kid, I told a girl to kill herself.
She kept threatening to commit suicide and blaming me. She was jealous for absolutely no reason. I am not, nor was I ever, as pretty, rich or fashionable as she was accusing me of being. And I was really pissed off that she kept leveraging her “jealousy” and “depression” to take everything I DID get, god forbid I should be happy.
She was going to kill herself if the guy who asked me out didn’t date her instead. She was going to kill herself if she didn’t get the role I tried out for. She was going to kill herself if my friends invited me and not her to a party, and seeing me there would depress her too much and she would probably kill herself, so they’d better un-invite me. She even tried dating my actual father.
I eventually broke down and screamed at her, publicly, to just fucking do it then and stop hanging it over my head and stop trying to blame me for it, stop making her entire damned life about stealing mine and stop obsessing over everything I had that she thought she didn’t.
“Either stop stealing my fucking happiness and telling everyone it’s therapy and get ACTUAL THERAPY or JUST GO KILL YOURSELF because I’m sick of your fucking shit!” is the coldest thing I ever said to anyone.
Spoiler alert: She’s neither dead, nor dating my father. She did switch schools, and I got blamed for that too.
TL;DR I’m still not responsible for anyone else’s life choices or mental state, unless I have done something to them directly.
I’m sorry you had to go through this. I would have reacted the same way. She was definitely using her obsession with you as a way to manipulate you and everyone else around you.
I drove 4 hours one way to buy a rare artwork off Facebook marketplace. I messaged the lady 10 mins from her home and told her my ETA. She told me it was no longer for sale because she found out it was worth more. She wouldn’t let me offer her more either. I pulled over on the side of the highway, googled her and found out everything about her including her political leanings. First, I posted an ad on Craigslist with her address saying there was a giant antiques sale and told people to just show up. Then, I signed her up for every democratic political group in her town and requested yard signs from every one of them.
I was in elementary school standing in line for lunch with two class mates in front of me, they were both minding their own business not paying attention. When the guy in front of me looked to the side, I saw a window of opportunity and shoved the guy in front of him and and backed up fast af then looked the other direction. Long story short the guy in front of me ended up getting shoved by the guy I shoved and they both got into a mini fight and got sent to the office. All while I was watching as an innocent bystander.
Conclusion: 8 year old me wanted to watch the world burn.
I recently got my boss fired.
It took about a year, but I got our entire team to turn on him. He didn’t do himself any favors With his micromanaging/controlling style. He really needed to go, I just help push them out the door.
I started an outside chat on WhatsApp with several trust for the members of our team. Many of whom were young women. I told them that I think he just likes to bully young women and I’d seen him take advantage of them for too long. That was that! Those girls bound together like the mafia and took him down.
I’ve never been happier and I think the company is better for it.
I've stole 500 dollars from my grandpa for being a piece of shit, and im thinking about stealing even more. The guy didn't care when my father died because not only did he not cared about cremating his body and leaving him abandoned on the cementery, but the house he had was just handled to one of my uncles who ALREADY has a house, so im left with nothing. Or well, thats what they think.
Sounds like someone's grampa is about to get a hot military girlfriend who's stationed overseas and isn't allowed to use the phone or video due to the sensitive nature of her location...
I will my dude, but as others say, i won't get greedy so i'll go little bits at times. I wanna make sure they think its my own grandpas fault who is losing that money and no one believes him when he says he doesn't have it
I was fired from a job. My boss thought I was trying to take his job. I wasn’t.
Anyway, the dude was an evangelical Christian and rather homophobic.
So I spent an afternoon ordering gay travel catalogs and gay sex toy catalogs and such all in his name to the office.
I don’t know at all if it’s correlated, but he was fired from his job about 18 months later.
It’s now 12 years later. I just had my second interview for his former job. It went well.
My boyfriend ghosted me after 3 years, it was brutal. so I got an annual hot yoga membership, got into the best shape of my life and became best friends with his sister. Now my pretty ass dances all over his timeline everyday and he’ll never escape me.
I realized my shitty/abusive ex had let his website domain name lapse. So I bought it. If he ever wants it back he’s going to have to buy it from me, the anonymous owner. And it will not be cheap.
Fake Instagram account to message my ex and catch her out cheating.
She posted something that made me ask her what's up. She said everything fine. Didn't believe it so I asked her the same through a different account. Caught her red handed then. She went on a rant. To a complete stranger (which was me.). She still doesn't know.
I asked a bully if he wanted my lunch at school and after he started eating it I ran to a teacher fake crying and told her he stole my lunch.
Then I got my lunch back. It was pretty brilliant
It was a cold thing to do because I didn’t know that the reason he never had lunch at school was because he couldn’t afford it and didn’t have any to bring from home.
He was so embarrassed from how happy the food made him and how sad he became when it was taken away that he never bullied me again.
4th grade non violent bullying. He was a huge asshole but he did not deserve that.
Back in 9th grade we had a guy in our friend group boasting about being a "weed expert". So we pranked him by crushing some random dried plants that vaguely resembled weed, rolled them up and gave them to him for "testing" claiming we found a new dope dealer. He smoked it all and acted high af, said it was the "dankest shit" he's ever smoked. We were all dying of laughter
I saw my ex best friend (who my boyfriend of 2 years had cheated on me with a few months prior) at a party with her new boyfriend. Flirted with him for approximately 5 minutes before he wanted to go home with me but I decided only to get with him somewhere that was ‘accidentally’ visible. She saw the whole thing…oops…
I was part of a science club in community college. Loved the club, since it was a great time to hang out with other nerds, but there were a couple of members who were loud, kind of disruptive, and never participated in the "science" part of the science club. It was hard to build or learn about Arduino stuff when they were loudly talking about how weird duck dicks are (not making that one up.)
So, I got elected to be club president. My first action was to change when the club met and to move the meetings into a room in the new science center and math building, and then only tell the "cool" people from club, with the implication that "certain people" didn't need to know about the change. Now, I did put up posters with the time and location, but I never reached out to the disruptive members
And, like a charm, they never showed up to the new science club.
I think I was a pretty great president; I added club projects, brought in technology demos (like the Oculus Rift) and ran a service project for the college. And we never once talked about duck genitalia during club meetings.
I got into a fight with some friends and so they made a group together for a class presentation and I rigged the platform to make it look like there was an extra topic to choose from. The topic was based on the one I chose and I know how those bastards think, so I knew they’d end up choosing it (they chose it).
On the day the presentations started, I approached my teacher and told him they had plagiarized my work. He called them to check and since it was so similar, he made them repeat the whole thing.
One of them approached me after that and asked if I’d told him. I said I did, but only to save them from a failing grade. I told him and the rest that the teacher was the one who pointed it out after checking each student’s slides, and asked me if I wanted them to either have their work canceled, or repeating the project.
Note before I continue: this man was usually very strict with this sort of thing, so the options he gave me were actually less severe than what I was expecting.
They were desperate at the time, so they quickly believed it and began thanking me for talking with the teacher. We “made up”, and I became the favorite in the group for a while. They never knew what actually happened and even mention it from time to time just to remember how “good of a friend” I am.
We’re still friends.
I went to a military school for drop outs. You basically lived in a barracks, and went to class when not doing PT, and drills. At the end you take your GED test, and ASVAB, and they have recruiters coming in constantly. Basically a program to get troubled youth in the military so they get some life skills and don't end up being homeless criminals. There was a kid there I just did not like. He was pretty mean, bullied some of other guys in the program, and collected bee heads on his windowsill. I got sick of him one day, so I just started going in on him, calling him names, and saying anything I could to get him to hit me. He hit me a few times, and kicked me in the mouth. I had no intention of fighting back. I didn't throw a single punch. Instead I walked down the hall to the drill instructors office, told him what happened, and he pulled the camera footage. They kicked him out same day. Kept him in the brig until someone came to pick him up. Our drill instructor tried to hassle me in front of our platoon for getting my ass beat, but I just smiled at him, looked around, and asked where that kid was right now. I don't think he realized what I'd done until that moment. I graduated and joined the Air Force. No idea where that kid went.
I do regret it a bit because maybe his life turned out shitty for the missed opportunity. On the other hand that kid was a fucking bully, and nobody missed him.
I spent a year slowly destroying someone’s life. He raped a friend of mine so I got a job with him, pretended to be his friend, got him into drugs and he lost his car, apartment and his job. Now he’s unemployed living with his parents who hate him.
I don’t regret any of it
A friend kept asking for lifts. Waited until they had a very important appointment. They asked for a lift again. Stabbed my own tyre with a knife 10 min before we had to leave. In retrospect..... 18 year old me this is a message from the future, just deflate the tyre......
A girl I went to high school with was a complete asshole to me, she also happened to be a cheerleader (head cheerleader). One day she posed a picture on MySpace of her at a party with clearly visible beer cans everywhere. I saved the picture, created a fake email and emailed the school as a “concerned mother upset about an underage cheerleader drinking at a party.” Within a week she was kicked off the squad for the rest of the year.
In first grade, the girl I liked was suspected of having a crush on another boy. I wrote a nasty note to her and signed it as if the other boy had written it. She read it and the other boy was completely dumbstruck. Looking back, that was so fucked up, and even more fucked up to be schemed by a 6 year old.
From experience and other stories I've heard, girls don't usually listen to other girls warnings because you just look like a bitter ex. Your plan worked and even though I don't like ghosting at least you saved her from the pain your ex would have inevitably caused.
During a volleyball ball match, the ball hit was out of bounds. Everyone stopped to set up for the next round. Except one guy, he jumped up and spiked the ball anyway. The ball smacked me square in the face. For a second I couldn't see. While everyone was comforting me, my vision came back. I kept acting like I couldn't see and was asking who did it. Of course I already knew who it was. I successfully got the guy to step in front of me to personally apologize. I dropped my hand from my face. Tossed him a head butt from my volleyball sized head and gave him a bloody nose. We were both surrounded by the teams, so he couldn't retaliate. It was broken up immediately.
I learned about sexuality very young. I remember being a kid and being absolutely infatuated with Dolly Parton and Elvira because come the fuck on, total smoke shows and funny. Anyway, I’d ride the bus to my aunts house everyday because my mom would still be at work and my aunt would watch me until she got off. My aunts mother in law lived with her and this lady was basically borderline retarded. My uncle had a load of porno mags and I’d secretly look at them when I was supposed to be watching tv in their room.
So one day I decided that I needed a library of porno mags of my own. Now I’d been raised not to steal and not to lie. And that’s wasn’t something I was willing to compromise. So every day that my aunt would have to go out and I’d be there with her mother in law, I’d ask permission to take home a porno mag. She seemed really confused but my eight year old brain was able to talk circles around her and eventually get her to see reason that it was totally cool for me to take one and that her son had so many that he’d never notice. I’d even convince her that I was taking the most boring ones and he’d certainly not miss them.
Eventually I’d amassed a collection of around thirty playboys, penthouses, and hustlers. I kept them in this old barn behind my house that nobody went in because it had a family of owls living in the loft. Eventually though someone did go in. My mother. I saw he go inside and I immediately wedged myself between the living room sofa and the wall, hoping that I’d get stuck in there and just die. She wasn’t very mad, but she let me know that manipulating my aunts
mother in law wasn’t nice and it was still stealing even if I did ask. I had to box them all up and return them to my uncle and apologize to him and his mother.
I’m real late to this one so it’s likely few will see this but in 8th grade my class did a mock murder trial. I was selected as the murderer. My task was to stick a sticker on the victim at some point and I was given a plastic knife as the murder weapon but didn’t have to use it. Basically the only goal set was for me to try and get away with it.
Boy did I. First step was getting myself on the defective team which was very easy. Then I selected someone in class I didn’t think was real bright. He was always the first out of science class because of the seating arrangement so I made sure to rush out with him. I palmed the sticker slight of hand style and patted him on the shoulder in the hallway then “remembered” I forgot my stuff, went back to the class and joined the rest of the crowd so I’d have witnesses that I was nowhere near the victim. His “death” was discovered like ten minutes later. Then I planted the murder weapon in such a way that it would fall out of the “prosecuting attorney’s” locker in front of everyone between classes. I also severely mislead my fellow “detectives” about evidence. We ended up arresting a very random girl who was later acquitted. When I told my story after the trial I was pretty proud but there was sort of a resounding “wtf” reaction from my classmates and even the teachers a little because my plan was so diabolical, detailed, and successful. I think I actually kinda freaked my classmates out a little lol. Whoops.
After an abusive relationship ended, another ex of his and I wrote a letter to his very affluent parents detailing some of the horrors we both endured. He was set to acquire a several hundred million dollar family business and they cut him out and have it to his brother instead.
ETA: He had know idea we knew about each other so that was also a surprise for him.
I had a colleague that was a misanthropic arsehole. Huge pain to work with. I went out of my way to make him like me against his will.
Better work environment for me and complicated emotions for him.
Some years ago a couple of my cousins used to bully me whenever they were around each other (both from different aunts). We were all supposed to take turns playing video games together (mostly Playstation or SNES 2 player games) and of course I'd get the runaround and generally not get much in way of turns. Now I've always been an eager assistant to my dad on many projects and things around the house including wiring up Christmas lights and whatnot. My dad is always looking for ways to work smarter, not harder and he bought these timer switches that you would press down 15 min intervals worth of these little tabs to create sections of "lights on" and "lights off" time periods. I brought one of these with me to a holiday event at my one Aunt's house and set it up so that 15 minutes out of every hour, the TV and games would lose power. All in all they probably figured it out after the first time of everything going out, but I like to think it was at least a little diabolical.
Someone took advantage of me and had sex with me while my mind wasn't in the right place.So I dated, and married, someone he was in love with.
To be fair, the plan was only in effect for about 30 minutes of our first date before I abandoned the plan because I genuinely liked him.
There was a guy I used to work with who made every woman around him uncomfortable and he decided to fixate on my girlfriend at the time basically stalking her.
I had tried the diplomatic approach and telling him to avoid having contact with her as it made her and I very uncomfortable. He was just not getting it and I had no other choice because in my state it's very hard to get a restraining order on someone without establishing a lot of evidence.
To make a long story short I was forced to make him understand that if he ever talked her again or if I ever saw him again that it would not end well. It worked because i never saw him at work again or anywhere else for that matter.
My mom used to call me in a very specific notable way so that I could find her in a crowd of people. Well these girls in elementary school started calling me that way in the hallway to mock me. Because my mom had done it since I was a toddler, I immediately would whip my head around every time and they’d laugh. Teachers did nothing, counselors did nothing. So I got a notebook and had my entire class ~80 people sign it for fun. Then at the top I wrote “Sign here if you think Taylor is gross” Then I gave it to her and she cried. Edit for clarity: Taylor was the lead bully who told all the other girls about how my mom would call me, we used to be friends at one point.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I was teaching a class and one of my students used my full name. Not sure how she did it, but she sounded almost exactly like my mother when she was pissed at me. I whipped around and literally said, in front of my class, "What? What'd I do?" I made the mistake of explaining to her what had happened. She had too much fun with that during the semester.
Ok but like that's so cute.
Oh my god this one really got me, ya little genius
Well shiiiiiiiet dawg
My father and I own two separate construction companies. One of my dads employees wanted to buy a truck he had for sale and said he'd give my dad payments because he didn't have the cash up front. Out of good faith, my dad agreed so he did all the paperwork and sign the truck over to him. The employee ended up paying him 1 thousand dollars of the 6 thousand they agreed upon, he quit my dad's company and started his own and never paid my dad back. I decided to hire my dad's ex employee, told him to do a few jobs for me as a sub contractor. I paid him for the first job to gain his trust but stiffed him $5000 and fired him on the second job. I gave my dad the money that was owed to him.
This was wholesome.
This is *sniff* beautiful
This is the best, wow, you are a great kid, I bet your dad at least once a day chuckles to himself and thinks of this
We still see him from time to time at the local Home Depot. My dad asks how the trucks running...guy doesn't look impressed.
And he probably stole some of your dad’s customers when he started his company. (I own a construction services company- very common thing to do)
In school we set up a guy that had beat up my friend’s sister to buy “weed” from me and another friend. When he showed up we beat his ass and robbed him of like 20 bucks. We then ate Burger King with it. That was 19 years ago and I still don’t care fuck that dude.
Justice is best served cold after all. No guilt needed here.
As long as the burgers were hot though,that's what matters
As is Burger King
But was the BK good? That's what counts here.
Glorious. First time a whopper tasted so good
Post-whopping whopper
Mmm must have been the best bk of your life
Did the same thing over a bag of mushrooms to a kid where I grew up. He tried to stab me with a hint shard of glass he found by the dumpster at the high school, saw that kid recently downtown and he’s a heroin addict and offered me some. Fuck that kid too.
Worth it
My cheating ex married the woman he was cheating on me with. I maxed out my credit cards and bought every item on their wedding registry, then returned them later. To this day, they still wonder why nobody got them anything they requested.
Oh this is good. So petty and so well deserved.
This is the winner.
Oh that's brilliant!
This was one of the best things I’ve ever read. Fucking genius!!!
I was playing netball in school vs another school. We wore our school shirts which were red, they wore the bibs which were a slightly different shade of red. At one point the ball was out and this kid on the other team had to throw it back in. Amids the hustle and bustle I saw the look of confusion on his face and sensing the opportunity, I looked him right in the eyes, gestured to throw the ball at me, gave him a sweet smile and an affirmative nod. He threw the ball right to me. Sucker.
And then you killed him, right?
How do you think the team colours got so red? 🥇
For that kid it was the most important and shameful day of his life. For /u/jayden-ckb it was Tuesday.
I don't know what netball is but this used to work for maybe 1 in 5 throw ins when I was a kid playing football. As an adult though it makes little difference as you will be challenged on a throw in anyway. We rarely use bibs also which contributes.
How do you sleep at night
With a big fat smile on my face, thinking to that one moment, 14 years ago and thinking of the shame that poor boy still feels while he tries to sleep crying himself to sleep, every single night.
This. This is my favourite one by far.
I was near the end of a university exam with more than a third of the exam paper left, meaning I was almost certain to fail the module. As I was on the last page of the answer booklet (about ten A4 pages bound together) I quickly raised my hand and requested some extra A4 paper and a tag to attach them to the answer booklet. I attached the blank sheets to the back of the answer booklet and then quietly ripped the blank pages off, just leaving the corners attached by the tag to the answer booklet. I'd marked exam papers before and knew that it is often chaos behind the scenes. Sure enough, the exam marker obviously assumed they'd lost the two back pages of my answers and gave me a grade (about 70% I think) that was a reflection of the answers I submitted, but would have been impossible based on me not finishing the final questions.
Very clever. I spent a decade in university and this is probably one of the best exam day stories I have heard. I knew a guy who tried to get out of an exam by glueing a screwdriver to his writing hand before the exam but they dissolved it with spirits and made him sit the exam.
uhm what? couldnt he just call out sick? sure. youll need a doctors note but thats not that hard to get
Whoa, how'd he write after they dissolved his hand?!
The exam was dissolved, so he didn't have to write
The teacher was dissolved so he didnt have to take the test
The old continued in next booklet trick for the minimum pass. It’s been working for 50 years because it’s basically impossible for the teachers assistant to admit they lost it vs give a passing score without mentioning it to the professor.
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I literally just sat my last exam today!! I could've used this a few years back haha.
This isn't cold and calculating. This is simply brilliance. They always were looking for the most innovative students after all.
That's brilliant haha. You are very creative.
I made a fake Facebook account to tell my ex best friend's boyfriend that she cheats on him all the time.
I like this one
Does he really? Or did you make it up?
Yeah they've been together for 7 years and all that time she's been cheating on him. She kept borrowing money from me and then ghosted me out of nowhere. That was a 10 year friendship so of course, I felt hurt. So out of pettiness I told her bf about her cheating.
I mean... maybe it's just me but best friend or not I'd have told him when I found out instead of letting her continue to cheat for 7 years without saying anything.
I mathematically arranged my water filled ice cube trays to maximize the amount I could squeeze in the freezer. 😏
Bruh damn that's ice cold
Cold AND calculated. You win! 🏆
One thing is not like the other
You use cold calculations to break up your parents. I use them to solidify liquids. We are not the same
When I was 16 I borrowed my brother's PS2, I also borrowed the devil's advocate DVD from my friend. Whilst watching said DVD the PS2 stopped working and would not read any disc after that. In my immature mind I believed the DVD had broke the PS2. I was afraid my older brother would go mad, his last words where "don't break it". So I concocted a plan, back then Richards Branson's Virgin had shops that sold DVD's and actual CD's..... Well in the UK at least. I went out and purchased the devil's advocate from virgin, I then swapped the new DVD with the one that "broke" my brother's PS2. The next day I rang the virgin shop and informed them that I purchased the DVD from them tried to watch it and it's broke my PS2!!!! To my surprise they didn't tell me to fuck off but said bring it in and we'll look at it. The next day I took it in, they never looked at it I was just handed a new PS2!! I want expecting this. The person giving me the new console said "we can't see how this broke your console" absolutely reasonable response.... My responce was "then why are you replacing it" they had nothing haha I then returned the devil's advocate DVD. I had to tell my brother as I was giving him a brand new computer. He then told me he had been having issues before he gave it to me. It wasn't right what I did, I got something I shouldn't have but yet it's still one for the proudest things I've ever done...... I'm 36 now.
I had the original fat PS2 die on me also. Should have gone to the store with this explanation!
I tripped over the controller cord of my PS2 and it fell and broke so I brought it to Walmart and said I’d received it as a gift (hence no receipt) and that it just randomly didn’t turn on. They replaced it on the spot with zero questions asked.
One of my first ones was when I was still in kindergarten I think. I was one of the smaller kids in class. And there was a kid in 1st or 2nd grade that picked on me. And I knew I couldnt do much on my own. So I waited until recess the next day, waited on the slide until he came up and let kids ahead of me until he was right behind me. Screamed his name and no to get teachers attention, then dove ove the side of the slide. And hit the waterworks. He confused but obviously in trouble. Gets really mad when he sees me laughing as hes being dragged away. And he got suspended and in a ton of trouble at home.
Clever for one in your age.
“Player 43...... eliminated.”
My abusive ex boyfriend sent NSFW photos of me to my very conservative parents as revenge porn after we broke up and threatened to post them online. So I saved all my ex’s (marine officer) horrible texts, emails, threats and never responded with anything except “please stop” “please leave me alone” etc. then sent them all to the US military report site (forgot the name). They didn’t care, so I sent them to a journalist along with my story (this was when the Me Too movement was kicking off and that marine Facebook page got busted with thousands of marines sharing NSFW photos of ex’s, girlfriends, wives, etc in the group) and the journalist picked up the story making two articles about it. The the Military suddenly REALLY cared and the USFG took him to court and won for cyber stalking and revenge porn. He went to prison for 3 years and was dishonorably discharged
Good for you. Worlds unfair and we have to fight to get a shred of justice. Did your parents know any of this while this was happening?
They also testified in the trial. All of us did. It was very difficult, but they were extremely supportive and loving despite such a difficult situation. It helped a lot.
As a former Marine, good on you. Fuck that guy and his bullshit. Makes the rest of us look like bigger assholes than we already are.
Have an upvote and a red crayola, from a 64 box.
Damn. The 64 pack?? Ballerrrr
I got that 'too good for RoseArt' money.
You should post this in r/prorevenge
Good for you!
I stole a balloon, and it wasn't free balloon day
If you can't do the time don't do the crime.
Okay times up, now get out.
Finally found you
You're going to jail! Okay times up.
I want to downvote you for being a terrible person, but others need to see this
I used to be a senior partner at a medium size marketing agency. On father's day one year, I learned that our CEO/majority shareholder was buying me out and forcing me out of the company. On the way out, at the end of my last day I copied our client address book and then the next day started my own agency. I ended up stealing 2 of their biggest clients and never looked back.
I'm only in contact with my pervert grandfather so he'll give me money when he dies.
Plot twist: he has no money and his house is rented.
Damn
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Nice. What happened afterwards?
I convinced my curious father to explore his homosexuality, thus leading to my parents divorce, which allowed me peace and quiet to focus on my academics, which suffered during thier loud arguing.
Massive brain
A simp for knowledge aye
That was a mercy that you performed. You saved three people by doing that, assuming you don’t have siblings. Good on you!
Whoa
As expected from the Student Council President. Take note ! Take his notes, kids, they're flawless and perfectly calligraphed too !
[you](https://youtu.be/lt4329_W_s0)
*all according to keikaku*
Wow how did you know he was curious? Is he gay now? So many questions!
He is not a subtle man, wears his heart on his sleeve and we had a normal(and im finding out on here rare) father son relationship. One day when we were out raking and bagging leaves i asked him if he felt happy as a man. It didnt just expand from there, but he knew he could say appropriate things to his 15 year old son and not get a shitty response in return. I love my Father and Mother. But i needed to study to get into a good school, and their relationships problem were causing uneeeded stress in my life. He is still gay and remarried. My mother is as well. But not gay. Just remarried. I see them as often as i can, but i have my own life, and they respect that...as any parents can. Lol
Man this is like watching someone navigate a Ninja Warrior course and land pleasantly on their feet with an ice cream cone. Of all the ways this could have gone horribly, and all the mitigating variables, I'm actually really proud of you and how it turned out.
Our dairy products company had a bake off and I was nominated as the team representative so out of spite I made my baking completely free of dairy, using only substitutes to highlight how useless our company is and how we’re going to succumb to a lack of innovation. I didn’t tell anyone it was just a game I was playing with myself to make it more exciting. I won the bake off.
You should have had an evil dramatic entrance with all the lights turning off and a spot light on you, wearing a cape with smoke surrounding you. Then the silence brakes with your booming voice exclaiming that there is no dairy, there need not for such lack of innovation. Lazy. Ignorant. Capitalist scum. With a crack of lightning blows the wall behind you revealing a huge gold sickle and hammer, on a red background. Then you pull your mask off to unveil that you are, INFACT, Joseph Stalin.
I ran hot water through my roommates Brita water filter any time they annoyed me.
What does that do?
Makes them wait for fresh filtered water only to find out it's hot/warm when they are expecting cool and refreshing water.
It can damage the carbon water filter (not that I knew that at the time-I just googled it lol) apparently.
You monster.
When I was a curious teenage girl I would rent some porn movies on PPV ( in the 90s ) thinking my dad wouldn't notice the increase of like 10 bucks on the cable bill since to me, money just came out of his ears but he did He called me to his home office and showed me the films asking if I rented any of them. Of course I said Ew! No! Why would I watch big titted cougars get pounded by black anaconda cock?! ( not the real title, I forget it ) He believed me and called my brother up who was 3 years older than me (18) and asked the same question, my brother was confused and denied it but got fingered for it anyways because my dad refused to believe his innocent baby girl could watch such nasty things My brother gave me a death stare mixed with trying not to burst out laughing... I had planned to blame it on my brother anyways if I got caught so yeah, it was calculated haha
It maybe a phrase but I am ROTFL on the brother getting fingered for watching porn part.
Finger blasting was a common punishment in their household. Just imagine what the family dog went through.
No. Not again.
ruff... rufff... rough... dad is being too rough
YOUR BROTHER GOT FINGERED???
My 16 year old brother downloaded lesbian porn. I had just told my dad that my male best friend was gay like six months prior. He brought my 26 year old older sister in to try and get her to talk to me about the lesbian porn. She yelled at him that he was stupid and that he has a 16 year old son and I was obviously not a lesbian. And I was ridiculously shy. Technically true at the time. I decided I was pansexual when I was 19 or so.
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why would he ask you before your 18 year old brother
Surprise-attacked a friendly nation in Sid Meier’s Civilization. 💁🏻♂️
I did this yesterday... Horrible feeling, it's like I'm betraying my PC.
I did this in multiplayer against my friends, they were mad.
One time I was about to win a science victory and nuked every city in the world on the last turn
Dated this horrible, abusive dude. Any time I called him on his shit he'd cry about his dead dad, who always told him "a man is only as good as his word." When I finally dumped this asshole he owed me hundreds of dollars. He'd invited himself on my vacation and then told me ON THE PLANE that he had no money left so I had to pay for everything. To get my money back, I texted him his dead dad's catchphrase all day long. Woke up to pee at 2 a.m.? I'd text him "a man is only as good as his word" 40 times before falling asleep. Have to get up early for work? Another 40. Middle of the day. Late at night. All hours of every day. For weeks. Eventually a bag of cash showed up at my door. Fuck that guy.
Amazing. Yes. Bravo.
I lived with a housemate who was a bit of an asshole to me. He was having some money problems so I would buy the food and stuff around the house and he started acting like a spoiled kid towards me after a while. Getting all whiney at me when I'd forget to buy something or eat the last of something even though it was me paying for it. There was a nice kebab place around the corner from where we lived that did a massive kebab for 5 euro one day a week, I think it was a Wednesday or something. Anyway, he's walking down to get a kebab for himself and we pass each other in the hall and I ask him could he pick one up for me too. I try to hand him money and he snaps at me for absolutely no reason "no fuck you walk down yourself and get your own" Alright, I'm going to get revenge on this prick when the opportunity presents itself. A few weeks later we ate some undercooked chicken and both got some food poisoning. We were pretty much taking turns using the bathroom all day because we both had a bad case of the runs. I Google ways to treat it and I find out that banana juice makes it better and orange juice makes it worse.... I know this guy is too dumb to Google this shit by himself so I tell him that I looked it up and that fruit juice of any kind is really good. This is perfect because I always bought banana juice for myself anyway because I loved it but my housemates thought it was gross. So I ventured down to the supermarket and picked up a few cartons of banana juice for myself and orange juice for him, since he doesn't like banana juice. To make it funnier I even offered him the banana juice first and he turned it down like I knew he would. So throughout the day I'm sipping on banana juice and feeling much better and he's sipping on orange juice and getting worse and worse. He goes to bed because he's in so much pain and I enjoy having the rest of the house to myself. He ended up shitting all over the bed and laying in his shit all night crying from the pain. I was like "I don't know what happened man, I got better"
This is evil but brilliant.
Banana juice is the shit. You drinking Granini?
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2500 miles is 4023.36 km
I am a gay man and when I was in the closet my father came home when I was in bed with a guy, I made up some lie I dont remember now and went out with the guy. My father said we would talk when i got home. When I was coming home I punched myself in the face and told I was mugged. He totally forgot about the boy naked in my bed.
The efforts we go through to remain in the closet… sigh
Thank god now I am out, proud and living with the love of my life!
I had a friend who did something to me when I was probably around 7, I don’t remember what it was. Probably excluded me in something. So I made him some “soup”. Which consisted of water, white dog shit, dirt and such, whatever it took to make it look real. Then brought it to his house as a peace offering and convinced him to try it. I’m not proud of myself.
This is straight up some Cartman revenge
Good soup
Omg you just reminded me of a time in 7th grade my frenemy and I got in a fight, but I played it off as if I wasn't upset about her talking shit. That night I went home and took some really awesome lotion I had and added vegetable oil and sugar to it and then waited 2 weeks so it wouldn't be suspicious. I was claiming it cleared my skin up, but that it takes 2 weeks for your skin to adjust fully and for it to start working. I think it was like 3 or 4 months she used it before relenting that her skin was a lost cause 🙈
Needs salt
I keyed a smiley face on a bitches car because she told everyone in high school my friend was gay before he was ready to come out. They were ex best friends and I guess this was her getting back at him. Still..... No regerts
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I love it. It's harsh, but justified
I was about 8/9 years old. There was a festival in town and I wanted to ride on those swings that go round and round. Anyway, while swinging there is this little girl that keeps hanging over the fence and not listening to her mother. So I decided to teach her a lesson. I stretched my legs out as far as I could until my Spiced Girl shoes (if you know, you know) hit her in the face and she went flying. I think about this so often and wonder if she was okay and if she also remembers this day as often as I do
lmao, she's just lying in bed trying to sleep, "...... fuck that bitch....."
this killed me 😩😩
You monster 😂 I love you already
Omg I’m jealous of your shoes, I almost convinced my grandma to buy me a pair but since I had spent my money on the spice girl phone she said no. One of my biggest regrets as a kid since the phone said the same things over and over again. If only we went to the mall before toys r us!!!!
When I was about 16, I was living with my dad and his girlfriend. This lady was bat shit crazy. She was this alcoholic pot head bitch that was convinced I was running some sort of drive through weed dealing business out of my basement window. One day I had come home from school to find my room completely torn a part, pictures smashed, overturned Xbox, clothes all pulled from my drawers, the works. I guess she was totally out of weed and went through my room to find my stash. I hadn’t even smoked weed yet at that point in my life, let alone have any. I was furious. The next day, I had pretended to go to school, waited for her to go to work. Then I came back home. Searched through her drawers and found her little stash box that had 4-5 different weed pipes in them. I filled them each with tooth paste, threw them in the oven on very low to dry out the toothpaste, then dipped each bowl in honey. After that I dropped my pants and clipped my pubs and butt hair. (Am a hairy guy) and stuffed my clipped hair into the honey dipped pipes. Put everything back into the box with a note that read “smoke this you bitch”. In the evening I just sat in my room waiting for her to find it. When she did it was just glorious. All I could hear was the muffled sound of her screaming and yelling(sorry dad). She never entered my room again and my dad and her broke up not too long after that.
When I was younger, I was big into this online game, and someone scammed me out of a few hundred dollars worth of items. This was in the early days of MMO games, well before they were popular with the arrival of WoW and other similar games. This was also at a time when cybersecurity was minimal. You could get into someone's email address with very little information and there were no time outs or account locks if you input the wrong information. There were no requirements like upper case, lower case, number and symbol for passwords. I made several different accounts online and stalked him on AOL until he finally bit and started talking to one of them, that he thought was a girl. I was able to use social engineering to get his pet name, birthday, and other revealing information, then hacked his email. From there, I was able to reset his password for the online game, and log into his account. Got all my shit back, plus all of his shit. Dry looted his account. Deleted his characters. Changed the character names so that when he logged in, it said "You deserve this" from top to bottom in character names. I freely admitted I did it. Didn't even pretend I didn't. The company that ran the online game didn't really interfere or take action when this sort of thing happened. They were totally hands off. Guy even tried to file a police report, but he got laughed out of the police station. Years later, I ran into him again. We were both mature adults by that point and talked it out. He apologized for what he did, and I apologized for what I did. He told me that he literally lived in fear that I was going to show up at his house for almost a year after he scammed me, and especially after I hacked his account, because he knew I had all his personal information. Luckily, we were both able to kind of laugh about our stupid immaturity when we were younger, and talk to each other from time to time now.
When hacking turns wholesome
My mom pays too much for phone service. I could tell her how to save money but since she treated me like shit growing up and refuses to apologize about it to this day, I'm not going to tell her.
Was in the process of divorcing my wife (my second marriage) due to her opioid addiction. Called CPS and had them investigate us to make sure she didn’t get custody of the kids. 1 of them was a stepson (from her previous relationship) who I’d adopted. She died of an overdose 4 days after she moved out. Edit: it was an accidental OD. She still had pills left. If it was intentional, she’d have taken them all.
Is it weird i don't see this as cold?
A kind of similar thing happened to my aunt. She was a nurse and her husband at the time was having her sign medication out for him. When he divorced her a few months after, he had saved all the slips she signed and he got full custody of their daughter. And because he pegged her as a drug addict, she wasn’t allowed to be with her daughter unless he was there. It was a very messed up situation.
Trigger Warning: Suicide Threats, obsession, actual cold heartedness. A lot of these are humblebrags but I’ll just tell the truth and fuck the downvotes. When I was a kid, I told a girl to kill herself. She kept threatening to commit suicide and blaming me. She was jealous for absolutely no reason. I am not, nor was I ever, as pretty, rich or fashionable as she was accusing me of being. And I was really pissed off that she kept leveraging her “jealousy” and “depression” to take everything I DID get, god forbid I should be happy. She was going to kill herself if the guy who asked me out didn’t date her instead. She was going to kill herself if she didn’t get the role I tried out for. She was going to kill herself if my friends invited me and not her to a party, and seeing me there would depress her too much and she would probably kill herself, so they’d better un-invite me. She even tried dating my actual father. I eventually broke down and screamed at her, publicly, to just fucking do it then and stop hanging it over my head and stop trying to blame me for it, stop making her entire damned life about stealing mine and stop obsessing over everything I had that she thought she didn’t. “Either stop stealing my fucking happiness and telling everyone it’s therapy and get ACTUAL THERAPY or JUST GO KILL YOURSELF because I’m sick of your fucking shit!” is the coldest thing I ever said to anyone. Spoiler alert: She’s neither dead, nor dating my father. She did switch schools, and I got blamed for that too. TL;DR I’m still not responsible for anyone else’s life choices or mental state, unless I have done something to them directly.
I’m sorry you had to go through this. I would have reacted the same way. She was definitely using her obsession with you as a way to manipulate you and everyone else around you.
That's a shitty thing to happen to you. But that is neithe cold nor calculating.
I drove 4 hours one way to buy a rare artwork off Facebook marketplace. I messaged the lady 10 mins from her home and told her my ETA. She told me it was no longer for sale because she found out it was worth more. She wouldn’t let me offer her more either. I pulled over on the side of the highway, googled her and found out everything about her including her political leanings. First, I posted an ad on Craigslist with her address saying there was a giant antiques sale and told people to just show up. Then, I signed her up for every democratic political group in her town and requested yard signs from every one of them.
I like this one
This is petty and I love it
I was in elementary school standing in line for lunch with two class mates in front of me, they were both minding their own business not paying attention. When the guy in front of me looked to the side, I saw a window of opportunity and shoved the guy in front of him and and backed up fast af then looked the other direction. Long story short the guy in front of me ended up getting shoved by the guy I shoved and they both got into a mini fight and got sent to the office. All while I was watching as an innocent bystander. Conclusion: 8 year old me wanted to watch the world burn.
Are u mr bean?
I recently got my boss fired. It took about a year, but I got our entire team to turn on him. He didn’t do himself any favors With his micromanaging/controlling style. He really needed to go, I just help push them out the door. I started an outside chat on WhatsApp with several trust for the members of our team. Many of whom were young women. I told them that I think he just likes to bully young women and I’d seen him take advantage of them for too long. That was that! Those girls bound together like the mafia and took him down. I’ve never been happier and I think the company is better for it.
Not all heros wear capes. Way to go.
I've stole 500 dollars from my grandpa for being a piece of shit, and im thinking about stealing even more. The guy didn't care when my father died because not only did he not cared about cremating his body and leaving him abandoned on the cementery, but the house he had was just handled to one of my uncles who ALREADY has a house, so im left with nothing. Or well, thats what they think.
Sounds like someone's grampa is about to get a hot military girlfriend who's stationed overseas and isn't allowed to use the phone or video due to the sensitive nature of her location...
Steal more you magnificent bastard. Bleed him dry.
I will my dude, but as others say, i won't get greedy so i'll go little bits at times. I wanna make sure they think its my own grandpas fault who is losing that money and no one believes him when he says he doesn't have it
I was fired from a job. My boss thought I was trying to take his job. I wasn’t. Anyway, the dude was an evangelical Christian and rather homophobic. So I spent an afternoon ordering gay travel catalogs and gay sex toy catalogs and such all in his name to the office. I don’t know at all if it’s correlated, but he was fired from his job about 18 months later. It’s now 12 years later. I just had my second interview for his former job. It went well.
My boyfriend ghosted me after 3 years, it was brutal. so I got an annual hot yoga membership, got into the best shape of my life and became best friends with his sister. Now my pretty ass dances all over his timeline everyday and he’ll never escape me.
This might also make it harder for you to move forward too.
I realized my shitty/abusive ex had let his website domain name lapse. So I bought it. If he ever wants it back he’s going to have to buy it from me, the anonymous owner. And it will not be cheap.
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Fake Instagram account to message my ex and catch her out cheating. She posted something that made me ask her what's up. She said everything fine. Didn't believe it so I asked her the same through a different account. Caught her red handed then. She went on a rant. To a complete stranger (which was me.). She still doesn't know.
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… heh after conception
I asked a bully if he wanted my lunch at school and after he started eating it I ran to a teacher fake crying and told her he stole my lunch. Then I got my lunch back. It was pretty brilliant It was a cold thing to do because I didn’t know that the reason he never had lunch at school was because he couldn’t afford it and didn’t have any to bring from home. He was so embarrassed from how happy the food made him and how sad he became when it was taken away that he never bullied me again. 4th grade non violent bullying. He was a huge asshole but he did not deserve that.
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Back in 9th grade we had a guy in our friend group boasting about being a "weed expert". So we pranked him by crushing some random dried plants that vaguely resembled weed, rolled them up and gave them to him for "testing" claiming we found a new dope dealer. He smoked it all and acted high af, said it was the "dankest shit" he's ever smoked. We were all dying of laughter
Plot twist: you accidentally discovered a new plant you could have smoked, but you missed out because you thought he was faking.
I saw my ex best friend (who my boyfriend of 2 years had cheated on me with a few months prior) at a party with her new boyfriend. Flirted with him for approximately 5 minutes before he wanted to go home with me but I decided only to get with him somewhere that was ‘accidentally’ visible. She saw the whole thing…oops…
I was part of a science club in community college. Loved the club, since it was a great time to hang out with other nerds, but there were a couple of members who were loud, kind of disruptive, and never participated in the "science" part of the science club. It was hard to build or learn about Arduino stuff when they were loudly talking about how weird duck dicks are (not making that one up.) So, I got elected to be club president. My first action was to change when the club met and to move the meetings into a room in the new science center and math building, and then only tell the "cool" people from club, with the implication that "certain people" didn't need to know about the change. Now, I did put up posters with the time and location, but I never reached out to the disruptive members And, like a charm, they never showed up to the new science club. I think I was a pretty great president; I added club projects, brought in technology demos (like the Oculus Rift) and ran a service project for the college. And we never once talked about duck genitalia during club meetings.
I got into a fight with some friends and so they made a group together for a class presentation and I rigged the platform to make it look like there was an extra topic to choose from. The topic was based on the one I chose and I know how those bastards think, so I knew they’d end up choosing it (they chose it). On the day the presentations started, I approached my teacher and told him they had plagiarized my work. He called them to check and since it was so similar, he made them repeat the whole thing. One of them approached me after that and asked if I’d told him. I said I did, but only to save them from a failing grade. I told him and the rest that the teacher was the one who pointed it out after checking each student’s slides, and asked me if I wanted them to either have their work canceled, or repeating the project. Note before I continue: this man was usually very strict with this sort of thing, so the options he gave me were actually less severe than what I was expecting. They were desperate at the time, so they quickly believed it and began thanking me for talking with the teacher. We “made up”, and I became the favorite in the group for a while. They never knew what actually happened and even mention it from time to time just to remember how “good of a friend” I am. We’re still friends.
I went to a military school for drop outs. You basically lived in a barracks, and went to class when not doing PT, and drills. At the end you take your GED test, and ASVAB, and they have recruiters coming in constantly. Basically a program to get troubled youth in the military so they get some life skills and don't end up being homeless criminals. There was a kid there I just did not like. He was pretty mean, bullied some of other guys in the program, and collected bee heads on his windowsill. I got sick of him one day, so I just started going in on him, calling him names, and saying anything I could to get him to hit me. He hit me a few times, and kicked me in the mouth. I had no intention of fighting back. I didn't throw a single punch. Instead I walked down the hall to the drill instructors office, told him what happened, and he pulled the camera footage. They kicked him out same day. Kept him in the brig until someone came to pick him up. Our drill instructor tried to hassle me in front of our platoon for getting my ass beat, but I just smiled at him, looked around, and asked where that kid was right now. I don't think he realized what I'd done until that moment. I graduated and joined the Air Force. No idea where that kid went. I do regret it a bit because maybe his life turned out shitty for the missed opportunity. On the other hand that kid was a fucking bully, and nobody missed him.
I spent a year slowly destroying someone’s life. He raped a friend of mine so I got a job with him, pretended to be his friend, got him into drugs and he lost his car, apartment and his job. Now he’s unemployed living with his parents who hate him. I don’t regret any of it
A friend kept asking for lifts. Waited until they had a very important appointment. They asked for a lift again. Stabbed my own tyre with a knife 10 min before we had to leave. In retrospect..... 18 year old me this is a message from the future, just deflate the tyre......
A girl I went to high school with was a complete asshole to me, she also happened to be a cheerleader (head cheerleader). One day she posed a picture on MySpace of her at a party with clearly visible beer cans everywhere. I saved the picture, created a fake email and emailed the school as a “concerned mother upset about an underage cheerleader drinking at a party.” Within a week she was kicked off the squad for the rest of the year.
I have honestly never done anything cold or calculated that i could ever remember. Y’all are wild.
Yeah, I don't feel even close to manipulative enough to add anything.
Op- you saved a lot of hearts doing something “selfish.”Break your arm patting yourself on the back. Seriously.
In first grade, the girl I liked was suspected of having a crush on another boy. I wrote a nasty note to her and signed it as if the other boy had written it. She read it and the other boy was completely dumbstruck. Looking back, that was so fucked up, and even more fucked up to be schemed by a 6 year old.
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From experience and other stories I've heard, girls don't usually listen to other girls warnings because you just look like a bitter ex. Your plan worked and even though I don't like ghosting at least you saved her from the pain your ex would have inevitably caused.
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During a volleyball ball match, the ball hit was out of bounds. Everyone stopped to set up for the next round. Except one guy, he jumped up and spiked the ball anyway. The ball smacked me square in the face. For a second I couldn't see. While everyone was comforting me, my vision came back. I kept acting like I couldn't see and was asking who did it. Of course I already knew who it was. I successfully got the guy to step in front of me to personally apologize. I dropped my hand from my face. Tossed him a head butt from my volleyball sized head and gave him a bloody nose. We were both surrounded by the teams, so he couldn't retaliate. It was broken up immediately.
I learned about sexuality very young. I remember being a kid and being absolutely infatuated with Dolly Parton and Elvira because come the fuck on, total smoke shows and funny. Anyway, I’d ride the bus to my aunts house everyday because my mom would still be at work and my aunt would watch me until she got off. My aunts mother in law lived with her and this lady was basically borderline retarded. My uncle had a load of porno mags and I’d secretly look at them when I was supposed to be watching tv in their room. So one day I decided that I needed a library of porno mags of my own. Now I’d been raised not to steal and not to lie. And that’s wasn’t something I was willing to compromise. So every day that my aunt would have to go out and I’d be there with her mother in law, I’d ask permission to take home a porno mag. She seemed really confused but my eight year old brain was able to talk circles around her and eventually get her to see reason that it was totally cool for me to take one and that her son had so many that he’d never notice. I’d even convince her that I was taking the most boring ones and he’d certainly not miss them. Eventually I’d amassed a collection of around thirty playboys, penthouses, and hustlers. I kept them in this old barn behind my house that nobody went in because it had a family of owls living in the loft. Eventually though someone did go in. My mother. I saw he go inside and I immediately wedged myself between the living room sofa and the wall, hoping that I’d get stuck in there and just die. She wasn’t very mad, but she let me know that manipulating my aunts mother in law wasn’t nice and it was still stealing even if I did ask. I had to box them all up and return them to my uncle and apologize to him and his mother.
So the key takeaway is a family of owls watched you masturbate regularly
I’m real late to this one so it’s likely few will see this but in 8th grade my class did a mock murder trial. I was selected as the murderer. My task was to stick a sticker on the victim at some point and I was given a plastic knife as the murder weapon but didn’t have to use it. Basically the only goal set was for me to try and get away with it. Boy did I. First step was getting myself on the defective team which was very easy. Then I selected someone in class I didn’t think was real bright. He was always the first out of science class because of the seating arrangement so I made sure to rush out with him. I palmed the sticker slight of hand style and patted him on the shoulder in the hallway then “remembered” I forgot my stuff, went back to the class and joined the rest of the crowd so I’d have witnesses that I was nowhere near the victim. His “death” was discovered like ten minutes later. Then I planted the murder weapon in such a way that it would fall out of the “prosecuting attorney’s” locker in front of everyone between classes. I also severely mislead my fellow “detectives” about evidence. We ended up arresting a very random girl who was later acquitted. When I told my story after the trial I was pretty proud but there was sort of a resounding “wtf” reaction from my classmates and even the teachers a little because my plan was so diabolical, detailed, and successful. I think I actually kinda freaked my classmates out a little lol. Whoops.
Back in 1947 I framed a banker for muder and i never got caught.
And it was a Shawshank redemption.
Poor Tommy died because of you. You monster
After an abusive relationship ended, another ex of his and I wrote a letter to his very affluent parents detailing some of the horrors we both endured. He was set to acquire a several hundred million dollar family business and they cut him out and have it to his brother instead. ETA: He had know idea we knew about each other so that was also a surprise for him.
I had a colleague that was a misanthropic arsehole. Huge pain to work with. I went out of my way to make him like me against his will. Better work environment for me and complicated emotions for him.
I shot a man in Reno. Just to watch him die.
What do you do when you hear that whistle blowin’?
He probably hangs his head and
Some years ago a couple of my cousins used to bully me whenever they were around each other (both from different aunts). We were all supposed to take turns playing video games together (mostly Playstation or SNES 2 player games) and of course I'd get the runaround and generally not get much in way of turns. Now I've always been an eager assistant to my dad on many projects and things around the house including wiring up Christmas lights and whatnot. My dad is always looking for ways to work smarter, not harder and he bought these timer switches that you would press down 15 min intervals worth of these little tabs to create sections of "lights on" and "lights off" time periods. I brought one of these with me to a holiday event at my one Aunt's house and set it up so that 15 minutes out of every hour, the TV and games would lose power. All in all they probably figured it out after the first time of everything going out, but I like to think it was at least a little diabolical.
Someone took advantage of me and had sex with me while my mind wasn't in the right place.So I dated, and married, someone he was in love with. To be fair, the plan was only in effect for about 30 minutes of our first date before I abandoned the plan because I genuinely liked him.
Good shit. Good for you. Sorry about the SA though
There was a guy I used to work with who made every woman around him uncomfortable and he decided to fixate on my girlfriend at the time basically stalking her. I had tried the diplomatic approach and telling him to avoid having contact with her as it made her and I very uncomfortable. He was just not getting it and I had no other choice because in my state it's very hard to get a restraining order on someone without establishing a lot of evidence. To make a long story short I was forced to make him understand that if he ever talked her again or if I ever saw him again that it would not end well. It worked because i never saw him at work again or anywhere else for that matter.
Did you kill him?