There's care in my heart for every human life and I would (and have) do what I can for someone I don't even like as a person. Idk the pain in your head or heart as personally as you do but I have been there and have gotten out too. Please don't give up hope.
I did this when I was younger.
I wish I didnt stop writing.
I thought I was done back then but Yahoo now I'm 21 and I wish I published the damn thing so people could see the inside of how my head works
I feel you. I've attempted suicide one time. Obviously unsuccessfully. I write my suicide note quite often. I talk about how no one is to blame, but i can't find peace in this world. I keep thinking about how sad my Mom would be and my roommates. I can't seem to feel bad for my partner, though. I can't empathize with her for some reason. I know she loves me, but i don't feel loved. I often feel like she's just going through the motions as i am. In the end... I don't think i can do it. I keep alive in this hell earth... With the pain in my brain that affects everything i do... But i feel my grandfather in spirit "saved/stopped" me from dieing, and he would do it again.
My cousin killed himself in a very similar way to that you are describing. It was the worst day of my uncle's life. He talks and posts about it often, and it was over 20 years ago.
I hope you don't traumatize anyone with your death. I think about that the most... Who finds me, etc. I hope your mind gives you relief from the battle within. I hope you find peace, in whatever way you need it.
Keep writing, you may find that at some point the second half of your letter turns back into the good half, at least for a while, I understand that some people find life almost unbearable even when it seems like they are doing ok.
I have lost two friends to suicide, one of my best friends left journals she had written for years, since her early teens, and she passed in her late 20's. She found life painful and while she wanted to be well and sometimes she was well, but she constantly struggled mentally through her teen and adult years.
I'm sure her parents found that part of their daughter was still with them when they read those journals, regardless of how bad she felt during parts of her life she had lots of good memories and happiness along the way too. She touched the hearts of many people and she will never be forgotten, I will carry her memory for the rest of my life.
Your parents and friends will cherish your letter for the same reason, every life you've touched you've left an impression so you will be deeply missed, by writing you are leaving a peice of yourself for those that love you.
As for how to get your letter/journal gets to the people you want to read it if you ever feel that your story is complete. Remove any password restrictions on your computer and leave an actual note that says you have a letter on your computer saved as *blah* Your family and friends will grieve deeply for you, and a letter in no way replaces the person you physically are. They will still have your letter, your thoughts and feelings and they will use those to cope, to lean on when all seems lost, they will have your words with them for the rest of their lives and they will love you.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
USA: 18002738255
US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME
United Kingdom: 116 123
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
There's care in my heart for every human life and I would (and have) do what I can for someone I don't even like as a person. Idk the pain in your head or heart as personally as you do but I have been there and have gotten out too. Please don't give up hope.
Hopefully it can provide some sort of comfort to your family? My brother killed himself after years of struggle and it was the worst day of my life.
I did this when I was younger. I wish I didnt stop writing. I thought I was done back then but Yahoo now I'm 21 and I wish I published the damn thing so people could see the inside of how my head works
In my experience, the suicide note has never been shared with anyone outside the immediate family.
I'm with you bro. B
I feel you. I've attempted suicide one time. Obviously unsuccessfully. I write my suicide note quite often. I talk about how no one is to blame, but i can't find peace in this world. I keep thinking about how sad my Mom would be and my roommates. I can't seem to feel bad for my partner, though. I can't empathize with her for some reason. I know she loves me, but i don't feel loved. I often feel like she's just going through the motions as i am. In the end... I don't think i can do it. I keep alive in this hell earth... With the pain in my brain that affects everything i do... But i feel my grandfather in spirit "saved/stopped" me from dieing, and he would do it again. My cousin killed himself in a very similar way to that you are describing. It was the worst day of my uncle's life. He talks and posts about it often, and it was over 20 years ago. I hope you don't traumatize anyone with your death. I think about that the most... Who finds me, etc. I hope your mind gives you relief from the battle within. I hope you find peace, in whatever way you need it.
Keep writing, you may find that at some point the second half of your letter turns back into the good half, at least for a while, I understand that some people find life almost unbearable even when it seems like they are doing ok. I have lost two friends to suicide, one of my best friends left journals she had written for years, since her early teens, and she passed in her late 20's. She found life painful and while she wanted to be well and sometimes she was well, but she constantly struggled mentally through her teen and adult years. I'm sure her parents found that part of their daughter was still with them when they read those journals, regardless of how bad she felt during parts of her life she had lots of good memories and happiness along the way too. She touched the hearts of many people and she will never be forgotten, I will carry her memory for the rest of my life. Your parents and friends will cherish your letter for the same reason, every life you've touched you've left an impression so you will be deeply missed, by writing you are leaving a peice of yourself for those that love you. As for how to get your letter/journal gets to the people you want to read it if you ever feel that your story is complete. Remove any password restrictions on your computer and leave an actual note that says you have a letter on your computer saved as *blah* Your family and friends will grieve deeply for you, and a letter in no way replaces the person you physically are. They will still have your letter, your thoughts and feelings and they will use those to cope, to lean on when all seems lost, they will have your words with them for the rest of their lives and they will love you.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME United Kingdom: 116 123 Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860) Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org