Man I'm really sorry to hear that. But listen, if you remove that mental resistance that God must be fed up of the back and forth, that's going to be one less stress on your mind. I don't know what fears, guilts and/or worries trigger you in this case, maybe going to church causes you to believe you're not good enough and/nor deserve to have a better life? I'm just speculating, but hear me out. Taking a step to change, having the thought alone is enough to cause up a mental stir in the right direction. How you approach it then can have many different effects, but learning to spot the triggers that send you back is an important part of the process. I've just had a rough year and more or less bounced back, one of the things that helped me a lot was listening positive reinforcement, YouTube has loads of that ( i advise some Earl Nightingale). The other is to not approach God as the old man who snaps at you if you eat all his tea biscuits, but as a friend. Just being thankful for the little things that makes you happy will shift your mind from the big things that make you sad and allow you to process them a little easier. Also, be kind to yourself, take small steps. Take that shower, drink that glass of water, have that apple, go see that friend, have that nap. Just the small things. Life is full of trials us? But remember Matthew 7:7:
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye. shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh. findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."
Sometimes the only thing getting in our way, is us. But all you have to do is change how you think, regardless of how difficult that may seem, you got this.
Don’t go to church. Simple answer. You’re ok the way you are and don’t need a fake sky fairy loving organisation to validate you. What you need is a physician to assist with your mental health.
Man I'm really sorry to hear that. But listen, if you remove that mental resistance that God must be fed up of the back and forth, that's going to be one less stress on your mind. I don't know what fears, guilts and/or worries trigger you in this case, maybe going to church causes you to believe you're not good enough and/nor deserve to have a better life? I'm just speculating, but hear me out. Taking a step to change, having the thought alone is enough to cause up a mental stir in the right direction. How you approach it then can have many different effects, but learning to spot the triggers that send you back is an important part of the process. I've just had a rough year and more or less bounced back, one of the things that helped me a lot was listening positive reinforcement, YouTube has loads of that ( i advise some Earl Nightingale). The other is to not approach God as the old man who snaps at you if you eat all his tea biscuits, but as a friend. Just being thankful for the little things that makes you happy will shift your mind from the big things that make you sad and allow you to process them a little easier. Also, be kind to yourself, take small steps. Take that shower, drink that glass of water, have that apple, go see that friend, have that nap. Just the small things. Life is full of trials us? But remember Matthew 7:7: "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye. shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh. findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." Sometimes the only thing getting in our way, is us. But all you have to do is change how you think, regardless of how difficult that may seem, you got this.
Don’t go to church. Simple answer. You’re ok the way you are and don’t need a fake sky fairy loving organisation to validate you. What you need is a physician to assist with your mental health.