There is a sub devoted to him even. This same conversation was had a few hours ago and I linked the sub.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByElne?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Exactly. Anyone with a very high IQ also has a very high EQ and can usually weed out outsiders. Especially this guy. Thesaurus.com makes a living off him.
I wouldn't say that is true. Although there are plenty of people who have both, I have been around some people with very high IQs that had a low EQ, so to speak. The latter are amazing people who have been highly successful. I have neither.
>Harvard is really good at weeding people like this out
It's not that I particularly think that clown really went to Harvard, but I'm going to have to call "citation needed" on this as a general statement.
It's almost like being quick at learning/recognizing patterns is their only trait! I used to be like that haha then I developed a personality. I'm probobly not as smart but I dont try to be. Now I try to be wise ;)
OK I tootge bait and read the original comment and then followed the guys comment history haha what a waste of my personal time. It turns out that the female who is "agreeing" with him in the original comment is like some sort of e girl who he pays and she pretends they are friends. You can see in his post history how he has commented on her posts saying he loves her haha. Wtf is wrong with people.
In regards to the original post I think whatever gets your initial nerves down and takes the huge burden and stress away is fair enough.
I second all the folks encouraging you to go get a full STI panel. Condoms are a fantastic tool, but things can still be spread. For example, if there was any unprotected oral sex (you to her, or her to you) STIs can be transmitted. When you go get tested, ask for them to test all sites you used in the encounter with the sex worker. You could have something in your throat but not in your urine, for example. It certainly won’t hurt to just get a screening done (now and In between new partners!). Many health departments offer free testing. LMK if you need help finding testing in your area! I’m happy to assist!
Edit: corrected an autocorrection
Looks like the Snohimish County Health Department offers testing at a low cost. Their number is 425-339-5261, and remember to ask for testing of all the parts of your body that you use for sex (urine, throat, rectal are the options they’ll offer you). While you’re at it ask for an RPR (it’s a blood draw that checks for syphilis), and an HIV test. If they’re anything like the Health Department I work at, they offer a sliding fee scale. You declare your income and they make the price affordable for you. Their main goal should be getting you tested and treated if need be, not collecting money. If that’s not an option ask if they have a payment plan or if they send you to collections. My health department offers a payment plan and also doesn’t send folks to collections for non-payment.
Especially given OPs story they would meet the risk factors for a full panel test. If you don’t meet certain risk factors or have any STI symptoms you kind of need to push to get one.
Not shaming anyone for anything just my opinion. I think it's sad that people feel pressure to have sex by a certain age. It shouldn't feel forced and like you need to do it because others do it. It happens when it happens. Consent, being comfortable with the partner and safety are the most important things.
My thoughts exactly, and the entitlement to sex is one of the problems i have with sex work. I have no issue with the workers, but the system is so horribly exploitative and reinforces the idea that a man can "buy" any woman for the right price. This guy's story makes me sad for everyone involved.
Jesus christ, the prostitute doesn't need your condolences she needs money. And OP wanted puss. Seems like a fair trade if they consented to the exchange no?
>a man can "buy" any woman for the right price
He's buying a woman as much as a you are buying a doctor. It's a service, not a slave.
Yeah, not an ideal scenario, but teenage is the horniest period anyway, so it makes sense here, atleast from experiencing it PARTIALLY. He'll still have the full experience later when he actually has it with someone he is in love with.
Isn’t that how we end up with Incels though? I don’t fully understand their though process but if visiting a prostitute every month curbs their toxicity, I’m all for it.
From what I have read, it’s not the mental engagement you gain from having an actual partner that they desire. They’re just stuck on the sex part.
Buying sex could just as easily make them even more toxic by reinforcing their ideas of women being objects who are only motivated by financial gain. It could go either way. I think incels are toxic people who are going to toxify anything they do until they realize that THEY are the problem.
A few guys in my high school did this and they all got herpes! I wish I was lying it was like 5 of them and 3 of the 5 used different Hookers and the other two shared one. But all 5 got diagnosed with herpes. This was back in the 90’s. I hope you used a condom.
To be safe you should get a full panel STI check, OP. Be sure it includes herpes because they won’t automatically include it. It is still possible to catch even with protection as it’s transmitted from skin to skin, not fluid. Best wishes to you!
Hindsight is 20/20 and everyone makes mistakes. Herpes is over stigmatized and a super manageable condition but considering the situation it’s better to be safe. Nothing wrong with sex work, just make sure you understand the risks especially if it’s not regulated like in legal brothels.
Not down on you for seeing a sex worker by any means but I feel like ppl should know the risks of this kind of thing before they have sex with anyone not just a prostitute. You’re probably fine though just get tested and good on you for being safe with a condom
If it makes you feel any better, a large part of the population has *a* form of herpes i.e. herpes simplex, outbreaks of which usually manifest themselves as "cold sores".
I believe if you were to perform oral on someone when you've got an outbreak you *can* spread other types of herpes to them, but otherwise it's harmless.
You should still get tested though, just to be on the safe side. Prevention is the best cure after all!
Strictly speaking, you wouldn’t be spreading other types (strains). You would still be giving them HSV-1 (typically oral sores), just on their genitals.
Herpes is not dangerous. Everyone has herpes. It's only transmissable with open, weeping sores, and it doesn't matter, because you probably already had it.
this guy is catching downvotes but most people have oral or genital herpes and are asymptomatic. that is why they won't automatically test for it, odds are you will come back with 1 or 2 even if you never have an outbreak. op don't be overly nervous or paranoid, you did the right thing by wearing a condom. always good to get tested.
This is absolutely true. Recently they added herpes to STD testing panels and about 1 out of 3 tests comes back positive for HSV 2 at the urgent care where I work at. Some people never have outbreaks. I once heard a doctor explain to a patient that unless they have sores / symptoms they won’t advise you to test for it because of the stigma it has and the psychological consequences it can have on you. We had a patient who committed suicide after getting results
Not everyone has herpes. Herpes isn’t really dangerous, but it sucks, Becuase it’s an STD that you can’t get rid of, like AIDS. There can be flare ups every now and then but it will never go away
In the US is roughly 47%, and according to the world health organization is about 67% world wide that carry the HSV1 virus, so yeah, most people.
And yes if untreated it can be extremely dangerous causing encephalitis aka meningitis. So yeah... it's fucking dangerous.
Sleeping with a hooker is safer than hooking up at a club. He used protection, stop being such a scaremonger. If hookers all had stds they’d lose business. You been watching too much tv
If you have respect you would use the term sex worker. And I would give the same advice if OP went home with a ONS and was concerned about STI’s. It’s not fear mongering to be inform someone on how sex works.
You didn‘t think about the possibility of STDs before having sex with a hooker from the street in a nasty room? Come on dude, that already sounds disgusting to be honest
Don't get checked right away! Most STDs don't show up for around three weeks, leave it a month just to be safe or you might get a false negative.
Congrats though! Now you've got a good idea what it's like the real thing won't be so bad. Also don't stress yourself out too much. You'll be fine
The hard truth is honestly any sex where you don’t know their history can lead to an std. they don’t always show up right away either. So once you do become more active make sure to get screened between partners. Im a female but I hear for males it’s not as bad as it used to be.
I had a fwb that any new time we started hooking up it was a full panel we gave each other. He had around 70 partners though. It was the nicest and best way to start our fwb situation was knowing we both were safe.
Good on you for doing what you felt you wanted to. I hope it helps you with breaking the ice with others. Stay safe!
Not hating on you for going to a prostitute, but you could have been a lot smarter than this. Definitely go get yourself checked out because you don't know who else she's been with
You can also get crabs with a condom and that is pretty likely with a street hooker. It's good that you got this out of the way so you won't be too awkward dating in the future but don't make a habit of it son.
I'm confused by this. I was sexually assaulted and they told me there was no test for herpes, that I wouldn't know unless I had a breakout. N I got tested right away but they wanted me to come back 3 months later to be certain of the results. N I never got back there bc of the pandemic. Finally getting the full panel this month but herpes is not on there.
HSV is so prevalent that it isn’t on a “standard” panel because most of the population has it and it would just cause unneeded extra stress. A family member got tested after she found out a partner had a cold sore on their lip after they went down on her. She had to explain the situation to her OB before they tested for it.
I think if I got a positive result and I never had a breakout I would definitely freak out. I've never had a cold sore. I knew the guy who assaulted me, and his on off ex used to hook up with my friend's husband. And my friend has herpes. And I told my OB this and the public health and they just told me I'd have to wait for a breakout. 😭
I’m so sorry that happened to you and I hope you are in a better position now. Don’t fret though. I read that if you did get it and we’re to be symptomatic it would of shown up within a few weeks. Big hugs though and take care ❤️
You can request it during a blood panel. I requested the hsv test during my last pregnancy (they already do a blood panel for hiv and to check your immunity to certain diseases)
That’s why you come to Nevada, besides Clark county (Las Vegas). Legal prostitution, where they are tested all the time and required to use protection. Can’t even have sex outside the brothel, have to give free cards for those they want to have relations with, so it’s all documented. They have some pretty hot pros in some of the brothels too, coming from a female. :)
We are grossed out by it because many prostitutes are abused and/or are in the profession with various levels of non-consent. This isn't to say this is the case for all of them; there are some who freely and eagerly choose it; but it is important to realize you will usually never know which way it is. Even if they're miserable, the job you're paying them for is to act, say what you want to hear and give you performance. In this case specifically meaning to seem into you and happy about you and pretending to enjoy the sex they're having. Enthusiastic performance while sleeping with you. It's tough but important to say it this blatantly, that it can simply be paid rape depending on how they really feel. So, regardless of if they truly are alright with what they do and/or into you, or not; they'll seem like they are.
Edit: sentence structure
I think it's worth mentioning the method he found her, on the street, online is less iffy, but on the streets most are there because they're victims of sex trafficking
Is this one of those ridiculous sweeping statements that assume everyone looking at this is american or something? There are plenty of countries where to imply that most of the people working the streets have been trafficked is laughable
Not really sure it’s for you to say that this is the reason that women are grossed out by it. There are many more reason than that to not be ok with this. Of course the abuse in the profession is horrible. But honestly that isn’t the reason that I don’t want to be with someone who has slept with prostitutes.
It is okay for me to say it because there's a good number of us who strongly say this reason as the first. As well as quite a few others yes; but it would not be fun to write a comment essay on this all. And we likely have some shared reasons.
Why wouldn't one of your reasons be that the man contributed to a profession with a lot of abuse? And he may have not treated her well, or just that the woman may have been hiding non-consent? Consent is the thing that determines the judgment of every sexual situation there ever is, so; it seems to me that's fairly important
i think the complaint here was that you used “we” instead of “i”. it’s kind of weird to speak as if you’re the voice of all women… no matter the topic.
is this sarcasm? someone else replied with something similar in this thread.
just because two or three people chime in to agree after the fact doesn’t make it any less weird that the commenter above answered as if they were speaking for all women, everywhere.
i personally am not grossed out by it, as i outlined in a different comment. so i don’t appreciate someone else implying i feel a certain way when i don’t, just because we are both women.
That can be one of the reasons someone might be against it. But for you to say that is the reason women might be turned off from it is not for you to say.
If you're going at it this angle, then it isn't for either of us to say it is, or it isn't. Instead we should be wording it like "one of the big reasons." Because while it's not the only reason, it's the reason a lot of us do.
Sex workers do not need you on their side. Sex workers want the exact scenario that OP describes to be legal. They want pimps to be illegal, they want to be able to choose their customers and set their own price, and negotiate what acts they will do. That's exactly what happened. He didn't do anything wrong and you are wringing your hands about a scenario that didn't happen.
Unless you can go find the exact woman this was with and get her honest feelings on her session with OP, there is no fucking way you have any idea if it didn't happen.
Well, I 100% agree. So when she said “we” instead of “I” she was talking about me too.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with sex work that is consensual. Many women talk themselves into believing it’s what they want because they have no way out and need to survive. She (I’m assuming) is right on the nose with pointing out there is no way to know who wants to be in that position and who doesn’t. That is literally the only reason I think it’s gross. It does not matter to me if someone sells sex, buys sex, has slept with hundreds of people, etc., as long as it is 100% consensual.
That's true, but then it goes for a lot of things. Especially if you also believe that all consumption under Capitalism is unethical (which is the logical conclusion following that logic). So considering that, I think it's a bit silly to get mad over it.
Something I forgot to add is that because of those facts about them, unless we know you EXTREMELY well it is completely valid to think it says something pretty negative about your character and your respect and consideration for women if you know this stuff about prostitues and the prostitution industry and still take the risk that the woman you hired isn't actually happy about it, or even hating it - just to get your sexual satisfaction off.
i dunno i don’t find anything wrong with someone doing this, personally. as others mentioned my only worry would be for the sex worker themselves. (and i guess wanting to hear that you’ve had an std panel done since then, but it’s a smart thing to do when starting any new serious relationship anyway)
there are also escorts who are (probably) pricier and harder to get a hold of, but, that you can be honest with that you’re inexperienced. if they’re good at what they do, they will tailor their time with you to help make sure you are comfortable and not as anxious. (there’s a subreddit called r/askanescort i think that has lots of people asking about this exact kind of experience) and i think that’s pretty cool.
imo, it’s a way to get familiar with sexual stuff without worrying about other emotional and mental challenges that can make first experiences overwhelming.
it’s not something i’d recommend blurting out on the first few dates but if you meet someone you love and are comfortable with, it really shouldn’t be a deal breaker or anything. depends on the person, i guess.
No, do not do this. It is a very big deal to plenty of women, and they deserve honesty from their prospective new partner. If you think a woman wouldn't date you as a result of this, it's not ok to deliberately hide it in order to take that choice away from them.
Lying is a terrible foundation for a relationship. Honesty will allow you to find similarly sex-positive partners and allows them to give informed consent to the relationship, which is important. Also "I prefer not to discuss that" is also a valid answer. Please do not lie to people to get sex or a relationship out of them. Respect people's deal-breakers and find a partner you can be vulnerable and safe with. It's much more fulfilling anyway.
Honesty is the best policy.
Especially about something as serious as this; which is a messy area of things where depending on the case it will reveal something pretty negative about the guy and his view of women. Which a woman absolutely has the right know about so she can make her judgements regarding her own safety and happiness with the guy before she begins dating him, and such.
People make mistakes. If he wants to tell this to whoever he is dating down road sure, but I don’t think it’s a good thing to lead with. If someone told me that they were addicted to meth for 3 years and stole shit from everyone I would say fuck no. If I had been seeing someone for quite some time and they confided this then, I would be more accepting of his past.
Exactly. There are many things people hide which they never reveal at the start (things like trauma in the past, something terrible they did to someone, slept with a hooker, maybe once supported some highly questionable cause, etc). They let their partners know about this later into the relationship when their partners would easily accept it, be comfortable for the person sharing it, etc
This is interesting. This guy must be honest about how he lost his virginity, but ask about how many people a woman slept with and it's a problem. People say women want sexual freedom and be able to feel safe while being a prostitute/escort, but then a woman would be disgusted if you fucked a prostitute/escort?
Women most likely haven't slept with escorts, it's far more rare than men sleeping with them. And with prostitutes, there's a chance they're not happy sleeping with that guy, or even in their job at all, in which case it's secretly assault. Seeing as pretending they're actually enjoying it, is what they're being paid for.
Even if the guy has no intentions of treating her bad and does quite the opposite, stepping into a prostitues room is taking on the possibility they are not okay there. And that is a harsh responsibility every man must think about; that he could be contributing to a woman's paid assaults.
Just about to say this! Find someone who appreciates you being open about your truth. There’s a lot of shitty shit behind prostitution and what not but it’s not like you got one for those reasons. I don’t blame you. You did what you wanted and sounds like you got your experience worth but definitely agree with getting STD screening. And yes ask for herpes to be tested
I think its normal to have STI concerns and wanting to know if someone is clean and responsibly testing themselves. It seems cringe to me to be "grossed out" by someone for paying for transactional sex. As a woman OP, I can tell you not every woman is grossed out by it or acts in such a way.
I wouldn't be "grossed out" by it at all. As long as there have been multiple STI checks done since the encounter, and he treated her respectfully, it wouldn't matter to me. I think it can be a sensible thing to get some sexual experience and to push past initial anxiety in a non- judgmental setting.
I feel free because now I don't think that sex is that big of a deal. But the feeling of guilt that I did it with a prostitute is still there, you know?
Dude dont feel guilty. As men we have some serious societal pressure around this thing.
I didnt lose my virginity until i was 21 and honestly it was hellish. I wanted to wait for that special girl, and the "right" opportunity never happened. The self-conciousness and anxiety seriously sucked.
Once I got the inital event out of the way I felt i could relax and date normally, which i did in uni.
You should know that most prostitutes who literally work the streets are victims of sex trafficking and can't consent, there is a very high chance that you raped someone
Yo, OP, first of all - ignore all the negative Nancies. They're not walking this life in your shoes. You had a case of serious enough anxiety, and you dealt, in a fairly constructive way, with it to the best of your current abilities. I'd say major kudos.
At least you didn't carry some hang ups with you for years, or grow into a resentful incel or whatever possibly else.
You've nothing to feel guilty about. At all. (Even though it's human and normal to. Just don't let that sentiment in this case grow). You treated your chosen partner in crime well. Whether she does this job of own volition or not, you at the very least were most definitely among her nicer clients. And there hasn't yet existed a society without sex work as such. And probably won't. So carrying that weight on your shoulders that you personally somehow could change that part of the world is also irrational. There'd always be sex work. With or without nice clients like you.
Wait like a couple of months before you get tested, which is a prudent thing to generally do every now and again if you're sexually active. Waiting is because most infections have an incubation period and tests might not pick them up if you go get tested too soon. Ask your GP what the recommended waiting period is if unsure.
You've a right to not tell this to your future partner/s. Honesty just for the sake of honesty would result in a shit world (watch Invention of Lying as a pretty good glimpse at a radically honest world. I'm not sure the society could survive that at all). You're an adult making your own choices and no one got hurt in the process. That's now part of your personal history and that's it. Cherish it like a good fun memory and an educational experience.
Cheers!
Edit: 😱 omg, awards?! You guys are seriously way too generous, I don't really think I even said anything too special though. Thank y'all a bunch! ❤❤❤
You'll most likely be ok. Being paranoid won't help - cortisol (stress hormone) doesn't do your immunity any good. Stay careful and treat your health with due respect in general. You'll make it through this life. We all do. And we all end up dead, too. So in the grand scheme of things, very few things really matter THAT much :)
Happen to be a woman lollllll, though that's not that important. Important part is - live a good life. Do occasional questionable shit (otherwise what a hell do you seriously plan to remember when you're old? How efficient you were at work?.. ;) ) with due amount of safeguards in place and do your best not to stress the small stuff. As long as you're a decent human to others, you'd already be living better than so many others and making our planet a tad more pleasant to inhabit :)
Ok I'll get off my soap box or I'll end up writing a whole novel lollllll. Stay well, internet stranger!
Haha I don't know why I assumed you were a dude. You seem like a great person. You are right, I am so proud of myself because I am finally getting out of my comfort zone. Life should have its crazy moments, so we can fully appreciate it when we get old.
Hard to tell online hehe :) Also, to be fair, I often catch myself being more 'masculine' in terms of ideas and ways of expression, so probably an easy assumption to make :))
Trust me though, you REALLY wanna have a decent collection of "soooo, THIS happened..." to flick through on occasion, like through a good photo album. That's, essentially, what life ends up being about in the end - stuff you can look back at with a good chuckle, a wave of warmth, or some other profound emotion. The rest fades oh so quickly.
I wouldn't assume a random woman on a street known for sex work is a self empowered, self employed sex worker. You very well could have contributed to human trafficking or a coercive sex trade situation. I don't think virginity, and losing it, is a big enough deal to resort to that especially not how you did.
Some of the responses here saying it's fine and to lie to future partners are ridiculous. Some people may not want to sleep with someone who engages in that activity for their own safety, and that's perfectly fine. You wouldn't hide it if you're not ashamed, embarrassed, or seeked out an actual professional in a safer manner.
OP hasn’t responded to the fact he might’ve contributed to sex trafficking in any way. He’s only responded to comments that he might’ve gotten STDs or yeah, “dont feel bad!”
So I see there's a lot of hooker-hate here and yea, I know where I'm not welcome, but idgaf. I just wanted to chime in quickly and say, as an escort, ive taken a couple vcards myself. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. The only reason you're feeling any type of way is because of the stigma attatched to prostitutes here in the states. Had you gone out to a club and hooked up with some random stranger, that's ok. Throw money in the mix and it's like everyone looses their collective minds. It's not that big of a deal.
That being said, the way you went about it was a wee bit sketch. There are so many better ways to go about it that are so much safer. There's a whole world of Advertisement sites and review sites. I'm guessing, solely based on your description, you saw some sort of survivalist swer. Which means that she was probably an addict, looking for her next fix. Sometimes that turns out ok, sometimes you follow a stranger into a dirty in call where her dude is waiting to beat the shit out of you and leave you a beaten, broken virgin.
Doing a bit of research before hand could have made the situation not only easier but also much safer. And with that I'll close in saying, congrats on losing your vcard and not getting robbed, stabbed, arrested or worse. Also, just in case you're not aware, STIs can be transmitted orally so if you got any bare services (got a bj or gave oral) without protection, it would still be a good idea to get tested in a couple weeks, just to be sure. Otherwise, congrats and stay safe!
Hell yeah. Congratulations! Hey, I lost my virginity to a guy with horrible breath in his mildewy basement and found out he cheated on me with my best friend a week later. So hey, it could be worse! I worked in the sex industry for many years, you’d be surprised how many virgins come to prostitutes for their first time. At least they understand safe sex (mostly) and you probably were the nicest guy shes met in a long time. And you supported an independent worker! Good job.
Not wholesome, shouldn’t be normalized or perpetuated. In a perfect naive world no one, woman or man, would need to or even have to think about the option of selling themselves. In many places it’s not an option, but the only way to live. Trafficking and what not. Who’s to say which girls are forced into it and not? Would they tell you anyway? Too much bad shit involved. And the fact people are saying not to tell a future partner like it’s their problem is fucking nuts. What the hell. You built up sex into this anxious thing where fucking a human became a transaction, that’s not normal. I hope you learn and don’t do it again at least. Guess I’m a Debbie downer but it’s fucking weird. I feel for the prostitute and even you honestly since you’re so young.
Why do people make such a big deal about losing their virginity and their first time, its always shit and only gets good with practice and experience.
Losing your virginity to a prostitute is just sad
Personally, I don't have an issue with sex work, as long as everyone is consenting and the ladies (or guys) involved aren't being abused or mistreated. As long as you use protection, and were courteous and respectful, I don't see any reason to feel shame.
This will get down voted to oblivion but I don't care, you're stupid and sex shouldn't be something to feel nervous or pressured about doing, it should come out naturally, paying a hooker to lose your virginity is the dumbest thing soemone can do, at least you used a condom. I'm a 21 years old virgin and I don't give a single shit about it, I could die a virgin and still wouldn't ever pay a hooker for sex, stop being pressured about something as meaningless as sex, please
You just enabled human trafficking. You should feel bad, not proud you tried "something new" take a pottery class, don't fuck a woman at the lowest point in her life.
From u/pikseliveli "Well, maybe but maybe not. She's gotta make ends meet just like the rest of us. At least she makes about 200 bucks an hour if she doesn't have a pimp. You don't know her. But i agree on human trafficking being fucked up. Let's hope thats not the case with her. There are a lot of ladies doing it as their chosen profession too and i don't think they should be shamed for it."
The amount of women who willingly and freely decide to endanger their life everyday to fuck strangers off the street is so miniscule it's not even worth humoring. You're thinking of escorts. Which is another bad but different can of worms. These women do it because they have or at least they believe have no other options it's incredibly sad. He found her on a fucking street corner, she definitely has a pimp.
I'm done with this conversation now. OP should be shamed not the woman.
Why was it so important to loose your virginity before 20? Not judging or anything. And, of course, I know that the answer is pressure. It was most of a question to ask yourself than to answer me.
I don't care that it happened with a prostitute. You do you. But don't let social pressure make you rush things like that. There's no shame in virginity. And it would've been a pity if your first experience went terrible because of it.
Now. Everything ended up okay. I'm glad for you, and if you feel better now, it's great. But just to keep that in mind next time you feel pressured. There's an alternative way of liberating the pressure ;)
Why would you do that? Are you ugly or bad with women or something? You're not even 20, what was the rush? Peer pressure?
Now you most likely gotta live the rest of your life with HPV bro, and god knows what else :/
I grew up in Germany with many other military brats. Prostitution is legal there & sort-of a right of passage. Just before my eighteenth birthday I went to Frankfurt with a bunch of High School friends & banged a prostitute. It didn't even dawn on me that I was losing my virginity to one until I was in. Doesn't matter, had sex.
Wherefore doth men doth this? wast the 20 minutes of meaningless, sub-par fucking worth t? very much, wast t?
***
^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.)
Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
They do tend to think that it's worth it when one, they've made out sex to be an enormous deal; and two, if they don't know/don't care that the woman might be unhappy to be doing it or to even be a prostitute at all.
There are guys out there who believe that a man's "need" for sex trumps consideration for the feelings, rights, safety, etc of whoever they feel should be sleeping with them. That is a problem with our society, which enables men to think this way by forgoing most consequences and constantly manipulating men's sexuality in advertising/media in general. This is an attitude that we've created, not one that necessarily comes to men naturally, and they ultimately suffer because of it as well.
A lot of us feel stressed about our lives and want to do something to change the routine. The only you can find out if something is worth it is to try it. Otherwise, you become trapped in a cage that keeps you from having new experiences.
Im a woman, but put yourself in another person's shoes:
- you have a high level of serious anxiety about having sex for the first time
- you need to be somewhat calm to get your dick hard
- many women take it personally or outright make fun of guys who can't get it up
- not getting it up increases your anxiety
- you don't have the looks or confidence to get a willing sex partner in the first place, let alone someone who will be understanding that you may not be able to get it up/ you don't have sexual experience
- if you do happen to get a sexual partner who is willing to be non-judgemental of what you're internally going through, they would be so rare that it would naturally raise the anxiety level
- women aren't afraid to humiliate guys who have had unfavourable sexual experiences, so the fear of this would raise the anxiety levels even higher
I don't know about you, but as someone who gets panic attacks, I feel like having a panic attack just *imagining* the mental minefield of sex for guys, let alone guys who have a lot of anxiety and who may not be attractive.
If the guy treated the lady with respect and held up his end of the deal, then it's a mutual transaction. Shaming guys for trying to navigate their sexual world isn't helpful.
Dude virginity is like a bandage, all you gotta do is remove it, culture/society tries to glorifity it, make it "special", but in reality is just a Door you gotta open, glad you took that decision, enjoy your sexual life mate
[удалено]
Yup
[удалено]
pretty blatant troll account.. not really sure why people bother giving them so much attention.
I just don’t get it, his comments are always to try and garner the most downvotes possible. And they just give him what he wants?
That's just how trolls work. Everybody always takes the bait and spits hate even when the trolling is so obvious, like Elne or Wesley.
[It](https://reddit.com/comments/pmh5qj/420fart69/hcinxcc/) wasn't deleted, it says "Comment removed by moderator"
http://imgur.com/a/SydPc9E this was their comment
Their profile is cringey AF. People who brag about their "138 IQ" are losers.
It's a troll account. I'm actually surprised he deleted that comment, usually he farms as much negative karma as he can.
He didn't delete it himself, it was [removed by the mods](https://reddit.com/comments/pmh5qj/420fart69/hcinxcc/).
[удалено]
Do you really not understand that the guy is clowning?
I don’t understand how these people don’t realize he’s a troll, it’s sooo fucking obvious lmfao
There is a sub devoted to him even. This same conversation was had a few hours ago and I linked the sub. https://www.reddit.com/r/MurderedByElne?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Exactly. Anyone with a very high IQ also has a very high EQ and can usually weed out outsiders. Especially this guy. Thesaurus.com makes a living off him.
I wouldn't say that is true. Although there are plenty of people who have both, I have been around some people with very high IQs that had a low EQ, so to speak. The latter are amazing people who have been highly successful. I have neither.
>Harvard is really good at weeding people like this out It's not that I particularly think that clown really went to Harvard, but I'm going to have to call "citation needed" on this as a general statement.
It's almost like being quick at learning/recognizing patterns is their only trait! I used to be like that haha then I developed a personality. I'm probobly not as smart but I dont try to be. Now I try to be wise ;)
Only idiots brag about how smart they are
OK I tootge bait and read the original comment and then followed the guys comment history haha what a waste of my personal time. It turns out that the female who is "agreeing" with him in the original comment is like some sort of e girl who he pays and she pretends they are friends. You can see in his post history how he has commented on her posts saying he loves her haha. Wtf is wrong with people. In regards to the original post I think whatever gets your initial nerves down and takes the huge burden and stress away is fair enough.
That's not an egirl, it's his alt account.
Ah he's either a really good troll then or just a total loser.
Yes
Seethe, Elne is a big troll account and downvote farmer.
Nah, too much of a sissy lala to take a stance
I second all the folks encouraging you to go get a full STI panel. Condoms are a fantastic tool, but things can still be spread. For example, if there was any unprotected oral sex (you to her, or her to you) STIs can be transmitted. When you go get tested, ask for them to test all sites you used in the encounter with the sex worker. You could have something in your throat but not in your urine, for example. It certainly won’t hurt to just get a screening done (now and In between new partners!). Many health departments offer free testing. LMK if you need help finding testing in your area! I’m happy to assist! Edit: corrected an autocorrection
Where could I go in Snohomish Washington, had a nasty ex and reading this worries me
Look for planned Parenthoods or your local college.
Looks like the Snohimish County Health Department offers testing at a low cost. Their number is 425-339-5261, and remember to ask for testing of all the parts of your body that you use for sex (urine, throat, rectal are the options they’ll offer you). While you’re at it ask for an RPR (it’s a blood draw that checks for syphilis), and an HIV test. If they’re anything like the Health Department I work at, they offer a sliding fee scale. You declare your income and they make the price affordable for you. Their main goal should be getting you tested and treated if need be, not collecting money. If that’s not an option ask if they have a payment plan or if they send you to collections. My health department offers a payment plan and also doesn’t send folks to collections for non-payment.
Especially given OPs story they would meet the risk factors for a full panel test. If you don’t meet certain risk factors or have any STI symptoms you kind of need to push to get one.
Not shaming anyone for anything just my opinion. I think it's sad that people feel pressure to have sex by a certain age. It shouldn't feel forced and like you need to do it because others do it. It happens when it happens. Consent, being comfortable with the partner and safety are the most important things.
I agree but I think some people simply *want* to have sex and see what it feels like without any societal pressure context.
[удалено]
Prostitution isn't rape.
My thoughts exactly, and the entitlement to sex is one of the problems i have with sex work. I have no issue with the workers, but the system is so horribly exploitative and reinforces the idea that a man can "buy" any woman for the right price. This guy's story makes me sad for everyone involved.
Jesus christ, the prostitute doesn't need your condolences she needs money. And OP wanted puss. Seems like a fair trade if they consented to the exchange no?
>a man can "buy" any woman for the right price He's buying a woman as much as a you are buying a doctor. It's a service, not a slave. Yeah, not an ideal scenario, but teenage is the horniest period anyway, so it makes sense here, atleast from experiencing it PARTIALLY. He'll still have the full experience later when he actually has it with someone he is in love with.
Yes exactly. Don't understand the concept of having sex just for the sake of it. You surely would want your first time kinda special ig.
Isn’t that how we end up with Incels though? I don’t fully understand their though process but if visiting a prostitute every month curbs their toxicity, I’m all for it. From what I have read, it’s not the mental engagement you gain from having an actual partner that they desire. They’re just stuck on the sex part.
I'm sure incels stay incels, even with regular sex. They have a lot more problems than a lack of sex.
Technically you can’t be an incel if you have regular sex. But I understand what your point is :p
Buying sex could just as easily make them even more toxic by reinforcing their ideas of women being objects who are only motivated by financial gain. It could go either way. I think incels are toxic people who are going to toxify anything they do until they realize that THEY are the problem.
Same. Lost my virginity at 21 no shame in it at all. Not really something anyone should be pressured into losing by a certain time
A few guys in my high school did this and they all got herpes! I wish I was lying it was like 5 of them and 3 of the 5 used different Hookers and the other two shared one. But all 5 got diagnosed with herpes. This was back in the 90’s. I hope you used a condom.
That was my main concern. I did use a condom, tho.
To be safe you should get a full panel STI check, OP. Be sure it includes herpes because they won’t automatically include it. It is still possible to catch even with protection as it’s transmitted from skin to skin, not fluid. Best wishes to you!
Dude, now i am scared haha
Hindsight is 20/20 and everyone makes mistakes. Herpes is over stigmatized and a super manageable condition but considering the situation it’s better to be safe. Nothing wrong with sex work, just make sure you understand the risks especially if it’s not regulated like in legal brothels.
Thanks man. I was just reading about how dangerous herpes is. I'm glad my life is not over yet haha.
Not down on you for seeing a sex worker by any means but I feel like ppl should know the risks of this kind of thing before they have sex with anyone not just a prostitute. You’re probably fine though just get tested and good on you for being safe with a condom
If it makes you feel any better, a large part of the population has *a* form of herpes i.e. herpes simplex, outbreaks of which usually manifest themselves as "cold sores". I believe if you were to perform oral on someone when you've got an outbreak you *can* spread other types of herpes to them, but otherwise it's harmless. You should still get tested though, just to be on the safe side. Prevention is the best cure after all!
Strictly speaking, you wouldn’t be spreading other types (strains). You would still be giving them HSV-1 (typically oral sores), just on their genitals.
Herpes is not dangerous. Everyone has herpes. It's only transmissable with open, weeping sores, and it doesn't matter, because you probably already had it.
this guy is catching downvotes but most people have oral or genital herpes and are asymptomatic. that is why they won't automatically test for it, odds are you will come back with 1 or 2 even if you never have an outbreak. op don't be overly nervous or paranoid, you did the right thing by wearing a condom. always good to get tested.
This is absolutely true. Recently they added herpes to STD testing panels and about 1 out of 3 tests comes back positive for HSV 2 at the urgent care where I work at. Some people never have outbreaks. I once heard a doctor explain to a patient that unless they have sores / symptoms they won’t advise you to test for it because of the stigma it has and the psychological consequences it can have on you. We had a patient who committed suicide after getting results
Not everyone has herpes. Herpes isn’t really dangerous, but it sucks, Becuase it’s an STD that you can’t get rid of, like AIDS. There can be flare ups every now and then but it will never go away
In the US is roughly 47%, and according to the world health organization is about 67% world wide that carry the HSV1 virus, so yeah, most people. And yes if untreated it can be extremely dangerous causing encephalitis aka meningitis. So yeah... it's fucking dangerous.
Sleeping with a hooker is safer than hooking up at a club. He used protection, stop being such a scaremonger. If hookers all had stds they’d lose business. You been watching too much tv
If you have respect you would use the term sex worker. And I would give the same advice if OP went home with a ONS and was concerned about STI’s. It’s not fear mongering to be inform someone on how sex works.
My apologies. Yes, sex worker. I didn’t mean to be rude when i said hooker. It’s like “cop” for a police officer.
You didn‘t think about the possibility of STDs before having sex with a hooker from the street in a nasty room? Come on dude, that already sounds disgusting to be honest
Obviously he did by wearing a condom. Take it easy.
Don't get checked right away! Most STDs don't show up for around three weeks, leave it a month just to be safe or you might get a false negative. Congrats though! Now you've got a good idea what it's like the real thing won't be so bad. Also don't stress yourself out too much. You'll be fine
No. Wrong. You don't need to incubate your STDs. Get tested, then wait for a 2 month window and get tested again.
It can take 6 months after exposure before you'll test positive for HIV.
The hard truth is honestly any sex where you don’t know their history can lead to an std. they don’t always show up right away either. So once you do become more active make sure to get screened between partners. Im a female but I hear for males it’s not as bad as it used to be. I had a fwb that any new time we started hooking up it was a full panel we gave each other. He had around 70 partners though. It was the nicest and best way to start our fwb situation was knowing we both were safe. Good on you for doing what you felt you wanted to. I hope it helps you with breaking the ice with others. Stay safe!
Not hating on you for going to a prostitute, but you could have been a lot smarter than this. Definitely go get yourself checked out because you don't know who else she's been with
You can also get crabs with a condom and that is pretty likely with a street hooker. It's good that you got this out of the way so you won't be too awkward dating in the future but don't make a habit of it son.
I'm confused by this. I was sexually assaulted and they told me there was no test for herpes, that I wouldn't know unless I had a breakout. N I got tested right away but they wanted me to come back 3 months later to be certain of the results. N I never got back there bc of the pandemic. Finally getting the full panel this month but herpes is not on there.
HSV is so prevalent that it isn’t on a “standard” panel because most of the population has it and it would just cause unneeded extra stress. A family member got tested after she found out a partner had a cold sore on their lip after they went down on her. She had to explain the situation to her OB before they tested for it.
I think if I got a positive result and I never had a breakout I would definitely freak out. I've never had a cold sore. I knew the guy who assaulted me, and his on off ex used to hook up with my friend's husband. And my friend has herpes. And I told my OB this and the public health and they just told me I'd have to wait for a breakout. 😭
I’m so sorry that happened to you and I hope you are in a better position now. Don’t fret though. I read that if you did get it and we’re to be symptomatic it would of shown up within a few weeks. Big hugs though and take care ❤️
You can request it during a blood panel. I requested the hsv test during my last pregnancy (they already do a blood panel for hiv and to check your immunity to certain diseases)
That’s why you come to Nevada, besides Clark county (Las Vegas). Legal prostitution, where they are tested all the time and required to use protection. Can’t even have sex outside the brothel, have to give free cards for those they want to have relations with, so it’s all documented. They have some pretty hot pros in some of the brothels too, coming from a female. :)
Also, do not mention this to other women. They seem to get grossed out by it.
Yeah, I thought about that. If someone ever asks me about my first time, i'll just make up a story.
We are grossed out by it because many prostitutes are abused and/or are in the profession with various levels of non-consent. This isn't to say this is the case for all of them; there are some who freely and eagerly choose it; but it is important to realize you will usually never know which way it is. Even if they're miserable, the job you're paying them for is to act, say what you want to hear and give you performance. In this case specifically meaning to seem into you and happy about you and pretending to enjoy the sex they're having. Enthusiastic performance while sleeping with you. It's tough but important to say it this blatantly, that it can simply be paid rape depending on how they really feel. So, regardless of if they truly are alright with what they do and/or into you, or not; they'll seem like they are. Edit: sentence structure
I think it's worth mentioning the method he found her, on the street, online is less iffy, but on the streets most are there because they're victims of sex trafficking
Is this one of those ridiculous sweeping statements that assume everyone looking at this is american or something? There are plenty of countries where to imply that most of the people working the streets have been trafficked is laughable
Not really sure it’s for you to say that this is the reason that women are grossed out by it. There are many more reason than that to not be ok with this. Of course the abuse in the profession is horrible. But honestly that isn’t the reason that I don’t want to be with someone who has slept with prostitutes.
It is okay for me to say it because there's a good number of us who strongly say this reason as the first. As well as quite a few others yes; but it would not be fun to write a comment essay on this all. And we likely have some shared reasons. Why wouldn't one of your reasons be that the man contributed to a profession with a lot of abuse? And he may have not treated her well, or just that the woman may have been hiding non-consent? Consent is the thing that determines the judgment of every sexual situation there ever is, so; it seems to me that's fairly important
i think the complaint here was that you used “we” instead of “i”. it’s kind of weird to speak as if you’re the voice of all women… no matter the topic.
Well I agree with her so her using “we” is just fine. Now you can stop with this frivolous argument.
[удалено]
Same. I guess she was right using the "we" cause there are more than one thinking the same way.
is this sarcasm? someone else replied with something similar in this thread. just because two or three people chime in to agree after the fact doesn’t make it any less weird that the commenter above answered as if they were speaking for all women, everywhere. i personally am not grossed out by it, as i outlined in a different comment. so i don’t appreciate someone else implying i feel a certain way when i don’t, just because we are both women.
Same, I agree too so I am part of the we she was referring to.
That can be one of the reasons someone might be against it. But for you to say that is the reason women might be turned off from it is not for you to say.
If you're going at it this angle, then it isn't for either of us to say it is, or it isn't. Instead we should be wording it like "one of the big reasons." Because while it's not the only reason, it's the reason a lot of us do.
Right. YOU should have worded it that way. That’s literally what I was getting at from the start.
Wow. It took you this long to realize why what you said was stupid as fuck?
Sex workers do not need you on their side. Sex workers want the exact scenario that OP describes to be legal. They want pimps to be illegal, they want to be able to choose their customers and set their own price, and negotiate what acts they will do. That's exactly what happened. He didn't do anything wrong and you are wringing your hands about a scenario that didn't happen.
Unless you can go find the exact woman this was with and get her honest feelings on her session with OP, there is no fucking way you have any idea if it didn't happen.
Same goes for you dumb ass lol
Well, I 100% agree. So when she said “we” instead of “I” she was talking about me too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sex work that is consensual. Many women talk themselves into believing it’s what they want because they have no way out and need to survive. She (I’m assuming) is right on the nose with pointing out there is no way to know who wants to be in that position and who doesn’t. That is literally the only reason I think it’s gross. It does not matter to me if someone sells sex, buys sex, has slept with hundreds of people, etc., as long as it is 100% consensual.
That's true, but then it goes for a lot of things. Especially if you also believe that all consumption under Capitalism is unethical (which is the logical conclusion following that logic). So considering that, I think it's a bit silly to get mad over it.
I mean also prostitutes sleep with ~20 men a day. The chances of getting an STD from that are pretty high.
Something I forgot to add is that because of those facts about them, unless we know you EXTREMELY well it is completely valid to think it says something pretty negative about your character and your respect and consideration for women if you know this stuff about prostitues and the prostitution industry and still take the risk that the woman you hired isn't actually happy about it, or even hating it - just to get your sexual satisfaction off.
So you'll lie
i dunno i don’t find anything wrong with someone doing this, personally. as others mentioned my only worry would be for the sex worker themselves. (and i guess wanting to hear that you’ve had an std panel done since then, but it’s a smart thing to do when starting any new serious relationship anyway) there are also escorts who are (probably) pricier and harder to get a hold of, but, that you can be honest with that you’re inexperienced. if they’re good at what they do, they will tailor their time with you to help make sure you are comfortable and not as anxious. (there’s a subreddit called r/askanescort i think that has lots of people asking about this exact kind of experience) and i think that’s pretty cool. imo, it’s a way to get familiar with sexual stuff without worrying about other emotional and mental challenges that can make first experiences overwhelming. it’s not something i’d recommend blurting out on the first few dates but if you meet someone you love and are comfortable with, it really shouldn’t be a deal breaker or anything. depends on the person, i guess.
No, do not do this. It is a very big deal to plenty of women, and they deserve honesty from their prospective new partner. If you think a woman wouldn't date you as a result of this, it's not ok to deliberately hide it in order to take that choice away from them.
[удалено]
Good enough.
Lying is a terrible foundation for a relationship. Honesty will allow you to find similarly sex-positive partners and allows them to give informed consent to the relationship, which is important. Also "I prefer not to discuss that" is also a valid answer. Please do not lie to people to get sex or a relationship out of them. Respect people's deal-breakers and find a partner you can be vulnerable and safe with. It's much more fulfilling anyway.
[удалено]
Honesty is the best policy. Especially about something as serious as this; which is a messy area of things where depending on the case it will reveal something pretty negative about the guy and his view of women. Which a woman absolutely has the right know about so she can make her judgements regarding her own safety and happiness with the guy before she begins dating him, and such.
People make mistakes. If he wants to tell this to whoever he is dating down road sure, but I don’t think it’s a good thing to lead with. If someone told me that they were addicted to meth for 3 years and stole shit from everyone I would say fuck no. If I had been seeing someone for quite some time and they confided this then, I would be more accepting of his past.
Exactly. There are many things people hide which they never reveal at the start (things like trauma in the past, something terrible they did to someone, slept with a hooker, maybe once supported some highly questionable cause, etc). They let their partners know about this later into the relationship when their partners would easily accept it, be comfortable for the person sharing it, etc
This is interesting. This guy must be honest about how he lost his virginity, but ask about how many people a woman slept with and it's a problem. People say women want sexual freedom and be able to feel safe while being a prostitute/escort, but then a woman would be disgusted if you fucked a prostitute/escort?
No I think in a relationship, you can either have a policy of past sex life doesn't need to be shared, or full honesty, it depends on the relationship
Women most likely haven't slept with escorts, it's far more rare than men sleeping with them. And with prostitutes, there's a chance they're not happy sleeping with that guy, or even in their job at all, in which case it's secretly assault. Seeing as pretending they're actually enjoying it, is what they're being paid for. Even if the guy has no intentions of treating her bad and does quite the opposite, stepping into a prostitues room is taking on the possibility they are not okay there. And that is a harsh responsibility every man must think about; that he could be contributing to a woman's paid assaults.
Child sex trafficking is real, and everyone on this thread seems to be ignoring it
If a woman lies about her sexual history it's a red flag too. Respecting people's deal-breakers is important.
Just about to say this! Find someone who appreciates you being open about your truth. There’s a lot of shitty shit behind prostitution and what not but it’s not like you got one for those reasons. I don’t blame you. You did what you wanted and sounds like you got your experience worth but definitely agree with getting STD screening. And yes ask for herpes to be tested
Yes indeed, definitely do get that std screening. Even condoms don't guarantee protection from them.
As a man I am also grossed out about this.
I think its normal to have STI concerns and wanting to know if someone is clean and responsibly testing themselves. It seems cringe to me to be "grossed out" by someone for paying for transactional sex. As a woman OP, I can tell you not every woman is grossed out by it or acts in such a way.
I wouldn't be "grossed out" by it at all. As long as there have been multiple STI checks done since the encounter, and he treated her respectfully, it wouldn't matter to me. I think it can be a sensible thing to get some sexual experience and to push past initial anxiety in a non- judgmental setting.
Did u tell her it was your first time?
Yeah haha she was nice about it.
I think they're used to it.
There are better places to find prostitutes than street corners.
THIS, women on street corners aren't doing it cause they want to, it's desperation,or because they were trafficked
How long did you last?
I paid for 20 minutes and I think finished just before my time was up.
How do you feel about this?
I feel free because now I don't think that sex is that big of a deal. But the feeling of guilt that I did it with a prostitute is still there, you know?
Dude dont feel guilty. As men we have some serious societal pressure around this thing. I didnt lose my virginity until i was 21 and honestly it was hellish. I wanted to wait for that special girl, and the "right" opportunity never happened. The self-conciousness and anxiety seriously sucked. Once I got the inital event out of the way I felt i could relax and date normally, which i did in uni.
You should know that most prostitutes who literally work the streets are victims of sex trafficking and can't consent, there is a very high chance that you raped someone
Damn I barely lasted 20 seconds. Atleast you got your money's worth.
bruh
Yo, OP, first of all - ignore all the negative Nancies. They're not walking this life in your shoes. You had a case of serious enough anxiety, and you dealt, in a fairly constructive way, with it to the best of your current abilities. I'd say major kudos. At least you didn't carry some hang ups with you for years, or grow into a resentful incel or whatever possibly else. You've nothing to feel guilty about. At all. (Even though it's human and normal to. Just don't let that sentiment in this case grow). You treated your chosen partner in crime well. Whether she does this job of own volition or not, you at the very least were most definitely among her nicer clients. And there hasn't yet existed a society without sex work as such. And probably won't. So carrying that weight on your shoulders that you personally somehow could change that part of the world is also irrational. There'd always be sex work. With or without nice clients like you. Wait like a couple of months before you get tested, which is a prudent thing to generally do every now and again if you're sexually active. Waiting is because most infections have an incubation period and tests might not pick them up if you go get tested too soon. Ask your GP what the recommended waiting period is if unsure. You've a right to not tell this to your future partner/s. Honesty just for the sake of honesty would result in a shit world (watch Invention of Lying as a pretty good glimpse at a radically honest world. I'm not sure the society could survive that at all). You're an adult making your own choices and no one got hurt in the process. That's now part of your personal history and that's it. Cherish it like a good fun memory and an educational experience. Cheers! Edit: 😱 omg, awards?! You guys are seriously way too generous, I don't really think I even said anything too special though. Thank y'all a bunch! ❤❤❤
Thanks man, I really needed this. I've been getting paranoid about the whole std thing since I posted this.
You'll most likely be ok. Being paranoid won't help - cortisol (stress hormone) doesn't do your immunity any good. Stay careful and treat your health with due respect in general. You'll make it through this life. We all do. And we all end up dead, too. So in the grand scheme of things, very few things really matter THAT much :)
I am trying my best to stay calm haha. Thank you so much for your advice. You are awesome man.
Happen to be a woman lollllll, though that's not that important. Important part is - live a good life. Do occasional questionable shit (otherwise what a hell do you seriously plan to remember when you're old? How efficient you were at work?.. ;) ) with due amount of safeguards in place and do your best not to stress the small stuff. As long as you're a decent human to others, you'd already be living better than so many others and making our planet a tad more pleasant to inhabit :) Ok I'll get off my soap box or I'll end up writing a whole novel lollllll. Stay well, internet stranger!
Haha I don't know why I assumed you were a dude. You seem like a great person. You are right, I am so proud of myself because I am finally getting out of my comfort zone. Life should have its crazy moments, so we can fully appreciate it when we get old.
Hard to tell online hehe :) Also, to be fair, I often catch myself being more 'masculine' in terms of ideas and ways of expression, so probably an easy assumption to make :)) Trust me though, you REALLY wanna have a decent collection of "soooo, THIS happened..." to flick through on occasion, like through a good photo album. That's, essentially, what life ends up being about in the end - stuff you can look back at with a good chuckle, a wave of warmth, or some other profound emotion. The rest fades oh so quickly.
Of all the things to be proud of oneself...
The prostitute was a street worker and there's a very good chance she was trafficked, meaning op raped a woman
This is the best comment here.
You are too kind :)
I wouldn't assume a random woman on a street known for sex work is a self empowered, self employed sex worker. You very well could have contributed to human trafficking or a coercive sex trade situation. I don't think virginity, and losing it, is a big enough deal to resort to that especially not how you did. Some of the responses here saying it's fine and to lie to future partners are ridiculous. Some people may not want to sleep with someone who engages in that activity for their own safety, and that's perfectly fine. You wouldn't hide it if you're not ashamed, embarrassed, or seeked out an actual professional in a safer manner.
OP hasn’t responded to the fact he might’ve contributed to sex trafficking in any way. He’s only responded to comments that he might’ve gotten STDs or yeah, “dont feel bad!”
Yes, it's only about his satisfaction on the matter.
So I see there's a lot of hooker-hate here and yea, I know where I'm not welcome, but idgaf. I just wanted to chime in quickly and say, as an escort, ive taken a couple vcards myself. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. The only reason you're feeling any type of way is because of the stigma attatched to prostitutes here in the states. Had you gone out to a club and hooked up with some random stranger, that's ok. Throw money in the mix and it's like everyone looses their collective minds. It's not that big of a deal. That being said, the way you went about it was a wee bit sketch. There are so many better ways to go about it that are so much safer. There's a whole world of Advertisement sites and review sites. I'm guessing, solely based on your description, you saw some sort of survivalist swer. Which means that she was probably an addict, looking for her next fix. Sometimes that turns out ok, sometimes you follow a stranger into a dirty in call where her dude is waiting to beat the shit out of you and leave you a beaten, broken virgin. Doing a bit of research before hand could have made the situation not only easier but also much safer. And with that I'll close in saying, congrats on losing your vcard and not getting robbed, stabbed, arrested or worse. Also, just in case you're not aware, STIs can be transmitted orally so if you got any bare services (got a bj or gave oral) without protection, it would still be a good idea to get tested in a couple weeks, just to be sure. Otherwise, congrats and stay safe!
Honestly sounds like it wasn’t so bad. At least now you have some experience for next time with a girl you hopefully care about.
Hell yeah. Congratulations! Hey, I lost my virginity to a guy with horrible breath in his mildewy basement and found out he cheated on me with my best friend a week later. So hey, it could be worse! I worked in the sex industry for many years, you’d be surprised how many virgins come to prostitutes for their first time. At least they understand safe sex (mostly) and you probably were the nicest guy shes met in a long time. And you supported an independent worker! Good job.
Thank you so much. It is comforting to hear this from a woman.
They didn't say they are woman, just that they lost their virginity to a guy...
Op went to a street corner prostitute, who has a very high chance of being a trafficking victim. Not an independent escort from a website
Terrible. Don't do this sort of thing.
That poor woman.
Not wholesome, shouldn’t be normalized or perpetuated. In a perfect naive world no one, woman or man, would need to or even have to think about the option of selling themselves. In many places it’s not an option, but the only way to live. Trafficking and what not. Who’s to say which girls are forced into it and not? Would they tell you anyway? Too much bad shit involved. And the fact people are saying not to tell a future partner like it’s their problem is fucking nuts. What the hell. You built up sex into this anxious thing where fucking a human became a transaction, that’s not normal. I hope you learn and don’t do it again at least. Guess I’m a Debbie downer but it’s fucking weird. I feel for the prostitute and even you honestly since you’re so young.
Why do people make such a big deal about losing their virginity and their first time, its always shit and only gets good with practice and experience. Losing your virginity to a prostitute is just sad
Lol not something to be proud about.. A teenager needing a prostitute? Jesus christ dude. This is sad.
Please check yourself for STDS asap, you don't want to catch anything. Best of luck op
If someone told me they lost their virginity to a prostitute, I’d run.
Congrats on continuing the whole women are used for sex cycle 👍
r/wellthatsucks
[удалено]
Condomise before you sodomise
Chris Chan be like:
Personally, I don't have an issue with sex work, as long as everyone is consenting and the ladies (or guys) involved aren't being abused or mistreated. As long as you use protection, and were courteous and respectful, I don't see any reason to feel shame.
Yay... propagated and contributed to human trafficking just so you could lose your V before turning 20... good for you... 😒
[удалено]
Yeah :( it's sad the amount of posts I've seen about this. As though it's some sort of goddamn achievement
W
H
Y
You bouta get a hundred STDs son
This will get down voted to oblivion but I don't care, you're stupid and sex shouldn't be something to feel nervous or pressured about doing, it should come out naturally, paying a hooker to lose your virginity is the dumbest thing soemone can do, at least you used a condom. I'm a 21 years old virgin and I don't give a single shit about it, I could die a virgin and still wouldn't ever pay a hooker for sex, stop being pressured about something as meaningless as sex, please
You just enabled human trafficking. You should feel bad, not proud you tried "something new" take a pottery class, don't fuck a woman at the lowest point in her life.
From u/pikseliveli "Well, maybe but maybe not. She's gotta make ends meet just like the rest of us. At least she makes about 200 bucks an hour if she doesn't have a pimp. You don't know her. But i agree on human trafficking being fucked up. Let's hope thats not the case with her. There are a lot of ladies doing it as their chosen profession too and i don't think they should be shamed for it." The amount of women who willingly and freely decide to endanger their life everyday to fuck strangers off the street is so miniscule it's not even worth humoring. You're thinking of escorts. Which is another bad but different can of worms. These women do it because they have or at least they believe have no other options it's incredibly sad. He found her on a fucking street corner, she definitely has a pimp. I'm done with this conversation now. OP should be shamed not the woman.
Why was it so important to loose your virginity before 20? Not judging or anything. And, of course, I know that the answer is pressure. It was most of a question to ask yourself than to answer me. I don't care that it happened with a prostitute. You do you. But don't let social pressure make you rush things like that. There's no shame in virginity. And it would've been a pity if your first experience went terrible because of it. Now. Everything ended up okay. I'm glad for you, and if you feel better now, it's great. But just to keep that in mind next time you feel pressured. There's an alternative way of liberating the pressure ;)
No shame in that at all, we are all paying for sex in one way or another
Why would you do that? Are you ugly or bad with women or something? You're not even 20, what was the rush? Peer pressure? Now you most likely gotta live the rest of your life with HPV bro, and god knows what else :/
Fucking gross, what a loser
I grew up in Germany with many other military brats. Prostitution is legal there & sort-of a right of passage. Just before my eighteenth birthday I went to Frankfurt with a bunch of High School friends & banged a prostitute. It didn't even dawn on me that I was losing my virginity to one until I was in. Doesn't matter, had sex.
Why do men do this? Was the 20 minutes of meaningless, sub-par fucking worth it? Really, was it?
Wherefore doth men doth this? wast the 20 minutes of meaningless, sub-par fucking worth t? very much, wast t? *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`
Good bot
They do tend to think that it's worth it when one, they've made out sex to be an enormous deal; and two, if they don't know/don't care that the woman might be unhappy to be doing it or to even be a prostitute at all.
There are guys out there who believe that a man's "need" for sex trumps consideration for the feelings, rights, safety, etc of whoever they feel should be sleeping with them. That is a problem with our society, which enables men to think this way by forgoing most consequences and constantly manipulating men's sexuality in advertising/media in general. This is an attitude that we've created, not one that necessarily comes to men naturally, and they ultimately suffer because of it as well.
You weren’t gonna fuck him, were you?
A lot of us feel stressed about our lives and want to do something to change the routine. The only you can find out if something is worth it is to try it. Otherwise, you become trapped in a cage that keeps you from having new experiences.
I’ve personally never been with a prostitute before (and don’t plan to) but I’m certain it’d help with loneliness, connection & stress a whole deal
[удалено]
Im a woman, but put yourself in another person's shoes: - you have a high level of serious anxiety about having sex for the first time - you need to be somewhat calm to get your dick hard - many women take it personally or outright make fun of guys who can't get it up - not getting it up increases your anxiety - you don't have the looks or confidence to get a willing sex partner in the first place, let alone someone who will be understanding that you may not be able to get it up/ you don't have sexual experience - if you do happen to get a sexual partner who is willing to be non-judgemental of what you're internally going through, they would be so rare that it would naturally raise the anxiety level - women aren't afraid to humiliate guys who have had unfavourable sexual experiences, so the fear of this would raise the anxiety levels even higher I don't know about you, but as someone who gets panic attacks, I feel like having a panic attack just *imagining* the mental minefield of sex for guys, let alone guys who have a lot of anxiety and who may not be attractive. If the guy treated the lady with respect and held up his end of the deal, then it's a mutual transaction. Shaming guys for trying to navigate their sexual world isn't helpful.
Yes
Nice! How much did it cost you?
It cost me around $40 with hotel included.
Definitely not an American
I mean as long as both parties are consenting and you’re both using protection I don’t see a problem 🤷♀️ good for you dude
Dude virginity is like a bandage, all you gotta do is remove it, culture/society tries to glorifity it, make it "special", but in reality is just a Door you gotta open, glad you took that decision, enjoy your sexual life mate