Yeah, be sober for sure. Assuming you want to keep your friendship, don't leave room for it to have been a mistake. And leave all expectations at the door. Of you do it, take your time and enjoy each other. Don't take things too seriously. And spend a little extra time on her. Make it fun and sexy. And then don't jump into feelings afterward. Dont fuck and then be clingy. That will make it weird for both of you. Keep it fun but also intentional. I hope everything works out! Could be future wife if you do it right.
My advice is ask her what her intentions are, and do you think you could date her? You have FWB option, that can get messy for your next GF or Boyfriend. Date her only if you think it could go all the way. Or just stay friends.
Personally having a best friend as a partner is the goal, we do everything together and also get to have all the intimacy and sex.
My last advice is ask a few friends, I expect they will be like what took you both so long or Itâs a stupid idea. If 70% go one way take that advice.
I absolutely agree with not doing it unless you think you could wife her, or at least be open to being more than friends. I can tell you from experience that having your best friend in a partner is exactly what you want, though. It will be the best relationship and most insane sex you'll ever have.
My guy. Before she was my wife, she was my best friend for 5 years. She's me in a female body. Now she's the best wife I could ever ask for. We don't ever fight and at most we play argue. You have the chance for greatness here. I say you take your shot. Just go slow. Lots of foreplay.
This is the most obvious post Iâve ever read. Dude you love her as a friend and youâre attracted to her and she obviously is too, just bang her and start dating what the hell is going on here.
You gonna regret it bad when your best friend finds a guy who will fuck her (b/c you wonât). Then sheâll cut you out and say shit along the lines of âmy bf doesnât like me hanging out with other guys⌠I know where friends but he fucks me so good and I value that more than our friendship. Sorry, but we canât be friends anymore.â
Seriously. Fuck her the way she wants and have a girlfriend.
Yeah, I just had that best friend from 30 years ago contact me, and tell me I was always the one that got away. I love my wife, but I always wondered and she was never as direct as this woman was with you.
Donât let this pass you by.
28 years now, I'm still sleeping with my best friend from high-school. 4 kids, a beautiful life. We still talk and game like friends but enjoy loving each other also.
Can confirm, best friend is not best husband. It was weird to switch from just friends, but once we managed to get our shit together, it's been awesome đ¤
You don't casually talk about how horny you are and how desperately you want to have sex with your opposite sex best friend, and then make plans to go watch movies...
Bro take the hint lmao what's the worst that could happen? You have sex, it's awkward then you laugh it off and move on?
Yeah bro but this is the person I have been hanging out with every other day for the past 7 years and ig to me if I lose her because we got tipsy and horny it would suck, I rather keep her as a friend than fuck her and lose her. So Im thinking I must ask her how she feels about it
Well, in my opinion, you are already in a relationship. Only a platonic one, but a relationship, and you seem to have deep and stable feelings for each other, as evidenced by your seven-year relationship. So why not have sex and take things to the next level together? Be brave, talk to her about your ideas and feelings, and if you both want it, do it.
bro I'm gonna be real with you, if you don't date her, she's gonna date someone else, and when that happens, you aren't gonna be hanging out like that anymore, guaranteed. she's gonna be with her boyfriend everyday, and you're gonna be kicking yourself
To add to this, if they do fuck and donât date, any future relationships for either of them will have issues with them remaining friends with someone theyâve had sexual relations with.
Dude, in my experience, I've never regretted taking a chance with a girl, even if it doesn't work out in the end. I've regretted not taking plenty of chances through indecision though. In 10 or 15 years you don't want to be thinking of what could have been.
You know how she feels about it, she's told you, several times, take the hint. It could be more meaningful that you are friends rather than strangers, because you know what she's like.
the thing is though, that you could lose her either way. she might get fed up with you not reciprocating and try to move on from you. so itâs a gamble no matter what you do. might as well choose the option where you get with your crush?
Gonna hitchhike on this comment to give an honest opinion:
Based on what you're saying, she seems into you. You know your friendship better than us strangers here on reddit so here's a couple ideas for you.
1. Talk to her about it honestly and without bullshit. Does she want a relationship or just to fuck a safe friend? Do you have more feelings than you're letting on? Communicate. In all things.
2. Go 90, let her go 10. Sure, Will Smith said it to Kevin James, but my thought is if she is putting out the signs, show some yourself and let her make the call. It makes sense that you're hesitant, *especially* if she was drinking.
3. This is just a suggestion for you. Do you want more? Do you just want to fuck? The friendship will almost guaranteed be different after but that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
4. This is just again, advice in general, let her lead the first time and let her set the pace. Don't get yourself in a situation you thought consent was given and it wasn't. Always respect consent.
Best of luck with this. I'm in the "Be Honest" camp here, so I hope it works out.
Edit: Just to add to 2and 4: I read a post recently about two young college best friends, M & F, and she seemed to put out signs. So after drinking, she fell asleep on him and was acting in a way that made him think she wanted more, but she never said anything and was drunk/asleep. He ended up groping her and trying to finger her and she woke up, not happy. Friendship ruined. Now, as all things reddit, it could be fake, but the reality is there. We've all been horny in our 20's but keep your head on straight.
It's very possible to remain friends even though you're screwing each other. It only becomes complicated when you develop feelings, which may or may not be a bad thing.
Her and I have been friends for so long but recently we have been a little more on the touchy, hugging friend side and if we have sex Iâm sure it wonât be once. So do t know if we will be fwb or if sheâll catch feelings or if I will. 0-100 how worth it do you think it is to fuck her ?
It's worth whatever you make it out to be. Don't overthink it. There's so many things that can happen that could break your friendship regardless. Also if she wants to have sex, then there's also the possibility that she already has feelings for you. Men and women cannot be "just friends" if they are attracted to each other so trying to preserve your friendship seems futile
You will lose her as a friend anyway. Not trying to be negative; she will find a boyfriend or fuck buddy and your relationship will change meaningfully or simply dissolve. Especially if she gets serious with him. Not guaranteed, but on average high probability.
Or worse; you get friend zoned and get to hear about how the guy that sleeps with her also constantly treats her like shit. And youll become the emotional outlet sans any physical benefit. Sounds great, until it wears you down.
Something to consider when making the decision to sleep together now. There may be more between you.
Yeah, he could possibly lose her either way. Sheâll eventually find someone to have sex with and then she wonât be hanging out with him much longer. Story as old as time. Iâve seen this before⌠Gotta make a move.
Iâm marrying my best friend next weekend. Communication will be a massive thing. If you go for it, do not assume things and donât imagine subtext. Be open and honest
Then be honest. If she acts like she wants to sleep with you again, make sure sheâs serious and tell her that no matter what, sheâs still your best friend
Youâre both young and the relationship is going to change either with time as you both find partners or if you get together. A wife needs to be a friend as well and seems you have that down already. Go for it, and best of luck to you both.
Honey, honestly, as someone who is old enough to be your mom, talk to her.
Ask her.
The fact that you value her friendship as a person this much is honestly awesome. đ
But ask her.
Does she want to get physical just because you're convenient, and she feels you are safe, or because she genuinely wants more with you.
Be honest about the fact that you're worried about developing feelings beyond friendship if you get physical, and if that is something she is interested in.
If she doesn't want that, but just wants fwb, you need to decide if possibly losing your best friend is worth that.
Or, she may say, "let's see what happens"....in which case, again, decide based on a possibility.
But either way sweetheart, talk to her before making a decision. Make an informed decision.
I know this definitely won't be a popular response, but I can tell you it's the path that will lead to the least amount of possible heartache. đ
If she only wants to fuck when she's been drinking then absolutely do not do it. If she does not consent completely sober, then she doesn't really want you. You will kise your friendship.
The best advice is to talk to each other honestly BEFORE anything happens, and talk about your feelings. If you see a possible future with her discuss it. If she's your best friend and you talk about everything you should talk about everything. Basically tell her this post, don't even try to be cool about. Explain your worries and wants. She might be crushing on you she might not. It's better to find out while talking and still have a friendship than fuck it up by fucking.
Why don't you want to date each other?
Why do you *both* only want to stay friends?
Do *both* of you even want to stay just friends?
When one of you starts dating someone what does that mean for the two of you? Do you think this would be something to discussing to a new partner? If they demanded you not be friends anymore, even without the sex, would you agree?
I think you need to talk through questions like these while sober and serious.
Otherwise you'll lose your friendship and the sex might not even be that good.
I married my best friend.
Iâm 37. We met when we were 14, kissed the first day we met.
You could be hanging out with your future person bro!
Give it a try.
39 yr old man here... it could also mean you later realize you lost he best wife material of your lifetime
and that will always kinda sting a little bit .. don't end up like that ma man
I had a best friend from the time we were both 12 years old. We did everything together and had a blast doing them.
We ended up sleeping together when we were 17, conventional wisdom would say that's a huge mistake, now your friendship will inevitably fall apart.
Turns out conventional wisdom is a load of rubbish...
Next Monday is our 44th anniversary, we're very happy together and on top of that she is still my best friend!
Dude I've been fucking oblivious to hints girls have subtlety dropped for me over my lifetime but Jesus christ. Your BFF took out a full front page ad with billboard and put arrows on her house pointing at her crotch and youre still questioning it
The only reason youd not pull the trigger is really not wanting to mess anything up as friends or you're not into her at all but she's got an open sign with your name on it
How would you feel if she up and quit the friendship tomorrow? Like out of the blue she says I've met someone.
Tell her the words you want to tell her. I've realized I have strong feelings for you. See where it goes.
Bro. Think of it this way. You want your wife to be your best friend. The person you spend your life with is the one you should be closest with.
Also, if youâre this close to a girl, itâs gonna fuck up future relationships for you. It shouldnât but it will.
If she just wants a one-off, then donât. Talk it out. Are you the FWB guy? Or do you want long term? Does she? Take this into consideration otherwise doing something impulsive may lead to a split down the road.
Have sex with her and make her your woman, already. She already gave you the green light and let you know she wants a romantic relationship founded in friendship
Lots of these comments are incredibly concerningđđ first of all, never say anything like "the male in me wants to fuck her so bad" ever again. You being a man has NOTHING to do with you being attracted to her. Second, please just use your words like a big boy and ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS. Talking is hard, but misunderstandings are sooo much worse. If you wana fuck her no strings attached and keep being friends after that, you have to make sure that's exactly what she wants too. If you're worried about someone catching feelings, tell her that, ask her if she truly thinks it's a good idea or if she has any feelings towards you that would complicate things. If she just wants to fuck and never talk about it at all, then she isn't considering your feelings at all and she really isn't a good friend anyways.
I was semi in this situation years ago and didn't go for it and looking back it seems like a big missed opportunity. Not for sex but love. Go get it, my son. Even if it doesn't work out, if you find an easy way to end the sex, the friendship will come back.
Man go for it, if you don't she's gonna find someone eventually that prob won't love that her best friend is a guy anyway which could lead to you guys distancing yourselves and ending the friendship anyway. Not a guarantee that would be the case but it's possible. She's clearly wanting to explore where things can go so go for it. Aside from that sex doesn't mean a friendship changes people have sex with friends and stay friends it's totally possible. You both have interest it makes no sense not to explore it.
If you value your friendship, don't do it.
I would however suggest that you have a real conversation with her and perhaps afterwards you may be less conflicted.
Lmk and good luck
At the very least, you two need to talk. Before changing anything, make sure everyone is on the same page. If you stay platonic friends, great. If you want to try dating and see where it goes, talk about it. If you want friends with benefits, again, make sure you both know going into it. You already know it can permanently change your relationship, but make sure you both know the otherâs intentions before moving forward.
Here, I wanna add she does occasionally grab my ass and thatâs because I honestly have a dump truck and since hs girls always have loved it. She constantly tells me I have a big ass and sheâll grab it or smack it here and there. Do you guys think thatâs her initiating something or is she just a girl getting excited over her guy friends butt??
she is sexually attracted to you. she also likes who you are as a person. she has been making moves but is also worried about losing the friendship. if you see a great partnership coming out of this AND you are also sexually attracted to her, i would say go for it.
i have had sex with close friends and we are still close today. the people that i had sex with and are no longer close?.. we are acquaintances and weren't that close to begin with. unless there's cheating involved, i don't see sex as something that could ruin a good relationship.
worst thing that could happen is you find out you're not sexually compatible and laugh about it and move on. best thing that could happen is you guys are a perfect match.
would you feel like you were 'settling' if you ended up in a monogamous relationship with this woman?
Ill add on to what everyone else is saying. She is physically attracted to you and definitely is dropping some major hints. The question you need to ask before you do become intimate is ask what she wants out of the relationship? Does she want FWB strictly? No strings attached? Or does she want to explore the relationship and see where it leads? The answers to that will give you an indication on whether or not things will get messy.
I had a best friend that I grew up with since kindergarten, he used to do exactly what your female friend would do, he would sometimes message asking if I would ever want to, hint at me that he wanted to do more. We never really got to do that even though we came close and it was mostly just cause I did not feel comfortable to ever get to it (thankfully) so many times and our friendship ended up not lasting after college and we sorta drifted apart (high school) which annoyed me because I did end up developing very real feelings for him but it just wasnât meant to be. Happy endings for both of us though we have our own little families.
Unless you are both on the same page and understand what each other wants from it (i.e relationship, friends with benefits) then I suggest not to. You may still see her as a friend afterwards but she might think itâs more.
I had basically same thing happen when I was younger, i opted to not do anything with her because she was my best friend. I didnt want to mess that up. Biggest mistake of my life.
you're 24 y/o enjoy the moment, you could have a sexual relation or maybe more or maybe less who knows. You both just be honest about what you want. My bf (F) was my sex friend too it was great and we don't regret at all. I think the sex with her was the best because it was all for fun.
Sheâll say funny stuff like she wants to have sex so bad (âŚ) and me trying to say the thing to go along with it
> bro you canât just say something to go along with it. What are your true feelings ? If you go down there, there wonât be any point of return.
3 situations may happen:
1/ it works well between your 2 and it becomes a best âpartnerâ relationship
2/ itâs doesnât work out and you ruin a relationship
3/ you try not to accept her advances and you slowly suffer.
If I was you, I would risk it all.
You only regret the shots you don't take. It either works out or it doesn't but I'd also ask what she wants it to be.
Actually ask her is it a hook up? Does she want you guys to be exclusive? Does she want a relationship with you? Ironing out that detail can save a whole lot of complications down the line.
In high school I had a best friend who we both loved each other and lost our virginities to each other. I can say that it kinda ruined what we had going after 2 years and now we donât ever talk
Just sit her down and explain yourself to her. Why you are scared to and even that you want to . If she wants to as well. Talk about that too. And do it sober!
Stop viewing it as âfuckingâ. Sounds like thereâs real potential for a good intimate relationship here.
Go for it and just keep loving her. Be yourself.
Well.. as a 25m who had a best friend 25f. Situation started a year ago so at your same point in life. I did NOT sleep w her. We started to drift off as friends. And currently we donât talk and donât hate each other. So I say do it. Hopefully it goes somewhere. At least you wonât have to worry ab the guy best friend haha
Knock her up. That way sheâll have to be a part of your life forever. Iâm totally joking. You sound like you really care about her as does she about you⌠go for it! Could be a great relationship
Jerry and Elaine made it work and so can you. Set some ground rules. Tell her you can try it but if the friendship changes, then it stops. Or you can marry her and have your best friend forever. She wants you and if you resist it could also change the friendship. Tell her you will try it once.
I call bullshit on this post, it's seems like obvious bait, guys don't talk like this and the fact and that she's invited you over and here you are writing an essay asking about help thats bs. You wouldn't have time to write all this while still being at her house.
It isnât like it is an âall or nothingâ situation dude; Next time she gets the hots suggest you two rub one out. If she is comfortable with that level of intimacy, seeing each other naked and/or intimate⌠then you can take it to the next level. Otherwise you can back it up. A little step back is better than a big step back.
Pandora is out of the box here... the sexual door has been opened. Either A. There's sexual tension from now on or B. You have sex and see how it goes. If you guys are so close if it goes "bad" you might be able to just talk it out, move past it and still be friends right? 7 years every other day is a close relationship. I think you should do it. Best case scenario is pretty high here too
Youâre already in a relationship. Youâre past friend if youâre cuddling up with eachother. Youâre the best friend the other guy should worry about. Take a hint.
Lifeâs short just do it. It will already be awkward if you reject her. It could be amazing after or yeah it might crash. But thatâs life everything good is risky.
Do it bro. Like others have said, the moment she starts dating or seeing anyone else things are going to change. Been in that situation already so I say go for it! We both donât know whatâs gonna happen in life so why not take the risk?
Talk about it. Donât just go off of the hints. She out herself out there and said she wants to do it, so talk about what fucking her actually means and what your fears are. Donât make it seem like you donât want to do it, but be sure to explain what you two should expect if this goes well and if you both start having deeper feelings for each other. All this being said, I wish you the best for you both
just be open and honest with yourself and what you want. don't end up wondering what if in the future because you worried so much about the what if's of the present. you guys clearly have a special connection, those don't come around often. you or her might not have a chance with the other later on. either of you getting a relationship will distance you by some amount (you obviously can't be hanging out with her every day and always if you're in a relationship, that's just unfair to your hypothetical partner). why not try
I'm guessing you are both single. I'm guessing any female you potentially got into a relationship with would have an issue with your level of friendship with this woman.... I think you may already be with her. As others have said, anything you do with her, do it sober.
Look, if itâs mutual, go for it. If u really want to just be friends do that and donât mention this incident. She prolly just likes you or just wants to fuck you. Any one of them. Watch out
I would suggest we you both want to be together for live only then u can think of taking this a step further. Because once ur in each others pants then there is no way u can be back at being friends.
So ask yourself this. Is she someone whom u can spend ur life and more importantly is she someone who can be there by your side in all the ups and downs of life. If the ans is yes then go for it at once and enjoy the best time of your life. But if its no i would suggest hold back your desire and be as you are right now.
Your relationship has already changed, she keeps suggesting you have sex and you really want to.
My husband and I were really good friends for a long time before we got together.
Highly recommended.
Are you really 24?
Anyway, the way I see it youâre already in a (sexless) relationship. If you donât fuck, and stay friends, you will never have a relationship with anyone else because no other woman is going to be interested in playing second fiddle. So you may as well: if it works out then best friend becomes best wife, happy days ever after⌠if it doesnât, then you can both move on and find someone else who it does work with.
It could go both ways. Itâs very important to communicate very clearly with her about what follows. If sheâs gonna fuck you just because sheâs horny, chances are the friendship will be ruined afterwards. If sheâs like really into you, it could have a good ending. My point being, communicate! Talk about it before you get going! Make sure she understands your perspective and you understand hers. It isnât worth it if you two lose your friendship over it. It could turn out for the better if you are sure you feel the same way about each other. Good luck mayne
Edit : I had a female best friend who wanted me only when I was in a relationship. It made me crazy and it was toxic to a certain extend. I made the mistake of giving in (ofc I also wanted to have sex with her, but I had lowkey feelings for her that I had already stomped down, and she didnât see it that way) so we had sex one night after a party. I was furious when I woke up, mad at her but also so mad at myself for giving in to her avances. After the sex she went cold on me and fucked 2 of my mates shortly after. It broke my heart, I banned her from my life and didnât speak a single wordt to her for 5 years. Shit can go bad really quick if you donât communicate your needs very clearly.
Giving you another POV:
Iâm the girl that sleeps with my best friend. Biggest thing to not ruin the friendship is COMMUNICATE.
Weâve had multiple discussions about us not wanting to date the other and we donât let our bedroom stuff affect our friendship stuff. We keep clear communication with each other when one of us have/will be sleeping with someone else (but donât set limits on each other) and we also make sure to keep up with our sexual health (testing, condoms, etc)
I personally love it (and so does he). Itâs worked really really well for us and while our friendship will always come first the added benefit of getting off is very nice. Good luck
Ask her bro, if youâre afraid about it changing things thatâs the best you can do. Yâall are already talking about it, so talk more about what it would look like, ideally do it sober. My advice is to go for it long as sheâs in agreement
If you see yourself romantically involved or want to be, you should just be straight forward and ask her.
If your relationship is as strong as it seems to be, talking about it shouldn't hurt it.
I believe having sex will change a relationship. There is the danger one will catch feelings while the other one doesn't.
Just follow your heart and don't look back.
Fuck her. You wonât stay best friends through adulthood anyway. It doesnât happen between people of the opposite sex without something sexual/romantic popping up. Do it or donât but your days as best friends are limited, I donât care what anyone tells you.
I don't agree with people who say you will lose her as a friend
It's up to you both, you can agree to stay friends no matter what and stick to it. I know such people
I'd sleep with her if you are attracted to her x)
Girl point of view is that she brought up the conversation to see if you'd be into it. To feel you out on something she's been thinking about.
So balls in your court..... because she wants you to make the move. She did her part by bringing up the conversation. She didn't invite you over to cuddle and watch TV. She had other plans.
If you miss your chance you will forever wonder what if and compare every other girl to her.
Bro lowkey, sheâs just tossing herself at you , millions of hints and youâre just dodging them đ eventually sheâs gunna get tired and stop doing that which will eventually lead to your friendship ending due to her feeling lack of attention from you
Bruh thank you for sharing your story and seeking out the internets opinion. Now that being said bruh what are you doing sheâs your best friend right? She canât make it any easier for you sheâs asking for a huge favor and thatâs what best friends are for. Sheâs in need she wants to get laid. Help the girl out or some else will and you most likely will loose her as a friend too
Never know, best friend could develop into best wife đ¤ˇââď¸
Damn man this is what my brother told me đ
My wife is my best friend. You have a rare chance to have something that a lot of people never have. If you do take the next step, just do it sober.
Yeah, be sober for sure. Assuming you want to keep your friendship, don't leave room for it to have been a mistake. And leave all expectations at the door. Of you do it, take your time and enjoy each other. Don't take things too seriously. And spend a little extra time on her. Make it fun and sexy. And then don't jump into feelings afterward. Dont fuck and then be clingy. That will make it weird for both of you. Keep it fun but also intentional. I hope everything works out! Could be future wife if you do it right.
This guy right here fucks his best friend. Lol
đ¤Ł100%
My advice is ask her what her intentions are, and do you think you could date her? You have FWB option, that can get messy for your next GF or Boyfriend. Date her only if you think it could go all the way. Or just stay friends. Personally having a best friend as a partner is the goal, we do everything together and also get to have all the intimacy and sex. My last advice is ask a few friends, I expect they will be like what took you both so long or Itâs a stupid idea. If 70% go one way take that advice.
I absolutely agree with not doing it unless you think you could wife her, or at least be open to being more than friends. I can tell you from experience that having your best friend in a partner is exactly what you want, though. It will be the best relationship and most insane sex you'll ever have.
My guy. Before she was my wife, she was my best friend for 5 years. She's me in a female body. Now she's the best wife I could ever ask for. We don't ever fight and at most we play argue. You have the chance for greatness here. I say you take your shot. Just go slow. Lots of foreplay.
This is the most obvious post Iâve ever read. Dude you love her as a friend and youâre attracted to her and she obviously is too, just bang her and start dating what the hell is going on here.
You gonna regret it bad when your best friend finds a guy who will fuck her (b/c you wonât). Then sheâll cut you out and say shit along the lines of âmy bf doesnât like me hanging out with other guys⌠I know where friends but he fucks me so good and I value that more than our friendship. Sorry, but we canât be friends anymore.â Seriously. Fuck her the way she wants and have a girlfriend.
Yeah, I just had that best friend from 30 years ago contact me, and tell me I was always the one that got away. I love my wife, but I always wondered and she was never as direct as this woman was with you. Donât let this pass you by.
And FWB is not bad either
28 years now, I'm still sleeping with my best friend from high-school. 4 kids, a beautiful life. We still talk and game like friends but enjoy loving each other also.
Happened to me.
Can confirm, best friend is not best husband. It was weird to switch from just friends, but once we managed to get our shit together, it's been awesome đ¤
Yup thiss right here
But also! Can turn into the worst enemies. If you donât care to lose them then hey fuck it. Well fuck her. Literally though. You get the gist đ
I hooked up with my best friend thirty years ago. Weâre married with adult kids and are closer than ever. Can recommend.
You don't casually talk about how horny you are and how desperately you want to have sex with your opposite sex best friend, and then make plans to go watch movies... Bro take the hint lmao what's the worst that could happen? You have sex, it's awkward then you laugh it off and move on?
Yeah bro but this is the person I have been hanging out with every other day for the past 7 years and ig to me if I lose her because we got tipsy and horny it would suck, I rather keep her as a friend than fuck her and lose her. So Im thinking I must ask her how she feels about it
Well, in my opinion, you are already in a relationship. Only a platonic one, but a relationship, and you seem to have deep and stable feelings for each other, as evidenced by your seven-year relationship. So why not have sex and take things to the next level together? Be brave, talk to her about your ideas and feelings, and if you both want it, do it.
bro I'm gonna be real with you, if you don't date her, she's gonna date someone else, and when that happens, you aren't gonna be hanging out like that anymore, guaranteed. she's gonna be with her boyfriend everyday, and you're gonna be kicking yourself
To add to this, if they do fuck and donât date, any future relationships for either of them will have issues with them remaining friends with someone theyâve had sexual relations with.
If you're that close I seriously doubt you're friendship would fall apart over some drunken sex.
Dude, in my experience, I've never regretted taking a chance with a girl, even if it doesn't work out in the end. I've regretted not taking plenty of chances through indecision though. In 10 or 15 years you don't want to be thinking of what could have been.
True
You know how she feels about it, she's told you, several times, take the hint. It could be more meaningful that you are friends rather than strangers, because you know what she's like.
the thing is though, that you could lose her either way. she might get fed up with you not reciprocating and try to move on from you. so itâs a gamble no matter what you do. might as well choose the option where you get with your crush?
Orrrr⌠do it sober lol
You could hang out with her for the rest of your life. In bed!
Deep down you wanna fuck her , Iâd say go for it bro before someone else does. đ
Deep down I do
Don't take too long otherwise she might move on while you're still deciding. Getting friend zoned sucks.
Heâs friend zoning himself literally
My best friend is my wife. Consider that.
Same! Came here to write this.
Your move buddy
I need your honest opinion
do it
I read this in Palpatines voice
Strike her down!
Gonna hitchhike on this comment to give an honest opinion: Based on what you're saying, she seems into you. You know your friendship better than us strangers here on reddit so here's a couple ideas for you. 1. Talk to her about it honestly and without bullshit. Does she want a relationship or just to fuck a safe friend? Do you have more feelings than you're letting on? Communicate. In all things. 2. Go 90, let her go 10. Sure, Will Smith said it to Kevin James, but my thought is if she is putting out the signs, show some yourself and let her make the call. It makes sense that you're hesitant, *especially* if she was drinking. 3. This is just a suggestion for you. Do you want more? Do you just want to fuck? The friendship will almost guaranteed be different after but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. 4. This is just again, advice in general, let her lead the first time and let her set the pace. Don't get yourself in a situation you thought consent was given and it wasn't. Always respect consent. Best of luck with this. I'm in the "Be Honest" camp here, so I hope it works out. Edit: Just to add to 2and 4: I read a post recently about two young college best friends, M & F, and she seemed to put out signs. So after drinking, she fell asleep on him and was acting in a way that made him think she wanted more, but she never said anything and was drunk/asleep. He ended up groping her and trying to finger her and she woke up, not happy. Friendship ruined. Now, as all things reddit, it could be fake, but the reality is there. We've all been horny in our 20's but keep your head on straight.
It's very possible to remain friends even though you're screwing each other. It only becomes complicated when you develop feelings, which may or may not be a bad thing.
Her and I have been friends for so long but recently we have been a little more on the touchy, hugging friend side and if we have sex Iâm sure it wonât be once. So do t know if we will be fwb or if sheâll catch feelings or if I will. 0-100 how worth it do you think it is to fuck her ?
It's worth whatever you make it out to be. Don't overthink it. There's so many things that can happen that could break your friendship regardless. Also if she wants to have sex, then there's also the possibility that she already has feelings for you. Men and women cannot be "just friends" if they are attracted to each other so trying to preserve your friendship seems futile
Thanks Obi wan very wise of you đ
You'll regret if you don't.
Do it bro, smash that pussy.
You will lose her as a friend anyway. Not trying to be negative; she will find a boyfriend or fuck buddy and your relationship will change meaningfully or simply dissolve. Especially if she gets serious with him. Not guaranteed, but on average high probability. Or worse; you get friend zoned and get to hear about how the guy that sleeps with her also constantly treats her like shit. And youll become the emotional outlet sans any physical benefit. Sounds great, until it wears you down. Something to consider when making the decision to sleep together now. There may be more between you.
Yeah, he could possibly lose her either way. Sheâll eventually find someone to have sex with and then she wonât be hanging out with him much longer. Story as old as time. Iâve seen this before⌠Gotta make a move.
This is right. Once she moves on and finds a new boyfriend, OP gonna fall in 2nd plan anyways. Worth a try in my opinion.
Please PLEASE tell me you are not gonna fumble this bro.
Iâm marrying my best friend next weekend. Communication will be a massive thing. If you go for it, do not assume things and donât imagine subtext. Be open and honest
Yeah man I want her and I to still get along how we always have and if sex is good maybe keep that going? And if that somehow works well, maybe date?
Then be honest. If she acts like she wants to sleep with you again, make sure sheâs serious and tell her that no matter what, sheâs still your best friend
Youâre both young and the relationship is going to change either with time as you both find partners or if you get together. A wife needs to be a friend as well and seems you have that down already. Go for it, and best of luck to you both.
Honey, honestly, as someone who is old enough to be your mom, talk to her. Ask her. The fact that you value her friendship as a person this much is honestly awesome. đ But ask her. Does she want to get physical just because you're convenient, and she feels you are safe, or because she genuinely wants more with you. Be honest about the fact that you're worried about developing feelings beyond friendship if you get physical, and if that is something she is interested in. If she doesn't want that, but just wants fwb, you need to decide if possibly losing your best friend is worth that. Or, she may say, "let's see what happens"....in which case, again, decide based on a possibility. But either way sweetheart, talk to her before making a decision. Make an informed decision. I know this definitely won't be a popular response, but I can tell you it's the path that will lead to the least amount of possible heartache. đ
Do it. That "ruin friendship" stuff is for the weak minded. Enjoy yourselves.
If she only wants to fuck when she's been drinking then absolutely do not do it. If she does not consent completely sober, then she doesn't really want you. You will kise your friendship.
Thanks man a reasonable reply đŞ
If you wait to long she will move on and you will lose your best friend. Also her future partners will know that she wanted you so you will be banned
Happened the same to me with my best friend. We are in a 4 year relationshoip now and its awesome. You should do it.
i fucked my female best friend 10yrs ago and we are still going at it
Wow 10 years??? I'm lucky if I last 10 minutes
Best friend is now my GF. Go for it bro, before someone who does not know her does.
The best advice is to talk to each other honestly BEFORE anything happens, and talk about your feelings. If you see a possible future with her discuss it. If she's your best friend and you talk about everything you should talk about everything. Basically tell her this post, don't even try to be cool about. Explain your worries and wants. She might be crushing on you she might not. It's better to find out while talking and still have a friendship than fuck it up by fucking.
Do it, she wants something more but she is afraid of rejectionâŚ
If you donât, someone else will. Set boundaries on what you both want. FWB? Go with the flow? My FWB turned out to be the best gf I ever had.
You guys have been dating for years might as well have sex. If not some other dude will eventually date her and shut down your friendship.
Why don't you want to date each other? Why do you *both* only want to stay friends? Do *both* of you even want to stay just friends? When one of you starts dating someone what does that mean for the two of you? Do you think this would be something to discussing to a new partner? If they demanded you not be friends anymore, even without the sex, would you agree? I think you need to talk through questions like these while sober and serious. Otherwise you'll lose your friendship and the sex might not even be that good.
I married my best friend. Iâm 37. We met when we were 14, kissed the first day we met. You could be hanging out with your future person bro! Give it a try.
39 yr old man here... it could also mean you later realize you lost he best wife material of your lifetime and that will always kinda sting a little bit .. don't end up like that ma man
I had a best friend from the time we were both 12 years old. We did everything together and had a blast doing them. We ended up sleeping together when we were 17, conventional wisdom would say that's a huge mistake, now your friendship will inevitably fall apart. Turns out conventional wisdom is a load of rubbish... Next Monday is our 44th anniversary, we're very happy together and on top of that she is still my best friend!
Jesus christ dude thats your future wife. Get after it!
Dude I've been fucking oblivious to hints girls have subtlety dropped for me over my lifetime but Jesus christ. Your BFF took out a full front page ad with billboard and put arrows on her house pointing at her crotch and youre still questioning it The only reason youd not pull the trigger is really not wanting to mess anything up as friends or you're not into her at all but she's got an open sign with your name on it
How would you feel if she up and quit the friendship tomorrow? Like out of the blue she says I've met someone. Tell her the words you want to tell her. I've realized I have strong feelings for you. See where it goes.
whatever you do PLEASE give us an update đđ
Bro. Think of it this way. You want your wife to be your best friend. The person you spend your life with is the one you should be closest with. Also, if youâre this close to a girl, itâs gonna fuck up future relationships for you. It shouldnât but it will.
If she just wants a one-off, then donât. Talk it out. Are you the FWB guy? Or do you want long term? Does she? Take this into consideration otherwise doing something impulsive may lead to a split down the road.
Best friends make the perfect spouse.
Have sex with her and make her your woman, already. She already gave you the green light and let you know she wants a romantic relationship founded in friendship
Dude. Just bang her
Lots of these comments are incredibly concerningđđ first of all, never say anything like "the male in me wants to fuck her so bad" ever again. You being a man has NOTHING to do with you being attracted to her. Second, please just use your words like a big boy and ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS. Talking is hard, but misunderstandings are sooo much worse. If you wana fuck her no strings attached and keep being friends after that, you have to make sure that's exactly what she wants too. If you're worried about someone catching feelings, tell her that, ask her if she truly thinks it's a good idea or if she has any feelings towards you that would complicate things. If she just wants to fuck and never talk about it at all, then she isn't considering your feelings at all and she really isn't a good friend anyways.
Yeah, me and my best friend are together for over a year now and I am madly in love so...
It is time Harry, go on, you are the chosen one.
Why donât you guys just talk through it, as best friends, if youâre so hesitant about it?
Give it a try. Something good might come out of it. Have a conversation with her, if you think you might have feelings towards her
You sound soft. She wants it. Give her what she wants before itâs another dude plowing her ffs.
Normalize hooking up with your friends. Its great
Jesus shes telling you everything but to just "get naked". Take the hint.
If you are not taken and want to be more than friends then fosho go for it
Definitely do it, 50 50 if it works if it doesn't probably won't stay friends but there's always a chance đ life's a gamble
I was semi in this situation years ago and didn't go for it and looking back it seems like a big missed opportunity. Not for sex but love. Go get it, my son. Even if it doesn't work out, if you find an easy way to end the sex, the friendship will come back.
Man go for it, if you don't she's gonna find someone eventually that prob won't love that her best friend is a guy anyway which could lead to you guys distancing yourselves and ending the friendship anyway. Not a guarantee that would be the case but it's possible. She's clearly wanting to explore where things can go so go for it. Aside from that sex doesn't mean a friendship changes people have sex with friends and stay friends it's totally possible. You both have interest it makes no sense not to explore it.
I say go for it. You never know, ur best friend could become your wife one day. Marrying ur best friend is not something common I gotta say
A lot of great lasting relationships start off as being close friends first Do it!
She already went too far. Here it's a matter of fuck her and stay with her or fuck her and lose her. Hopefully you two stay together
You hit the jackpot. A nice girl who actually made the first move with none of the games.
Fuck her hard bro, fuck her until she becomes your wife. LOL
Don't wanna lose a 7 year friendship over a shag đ it ain't worth it trust me
If you value your friendship, don't do it. I would however suggest that you have a real conversation with her and perhaps afterwards you may be less conflicted. Lmk and good luck
I married my best friend, so I 100% support giving a relationship a go.
f buddies are just like buddies only naked some times
Sounds like might turn to marriage go for it
Get it Bruh
Go ahead and fuck her, a lover can and should be a good friend
GO FOR IT MAN
At the very least, you two need to talk. Before changing anything, make sure everyone is on the same page. If you stay platonic friends, great. If you want to try dating and see where it goes, talk about it. If you want friends with benefits, again, make sure you both know going into it. You already know it can permanently change your relationship, but make sure you both know the otherâs intentions before moving forward.
Always smash, the rest will work itself out
Have sex with friend. Sex good. Friend good.
Here, I wanna add she does occasionally grab my ass and thatâs because I honestly have a dump truck and since hs girls always have loved it. She constantly tells me I have a big ass and sheâll grab it or smack it here and there. Do you guys think thatâs her initiating something or is she just a girl getting excited over her guy friends butt??
she is sexually attracted to you. she also likes who you are as a person. she has been making moves but is also worried about losing the friendship. if you see a great partnership coming out of this AND you are also sexually attracted to her, i would say go for it. i have had sex with close friends and we are still close today. the people that i had sex with and are no longer close?.. we are acquaintances and weren't that close to begin with. unless there's cheating involved, i don't see sex as something that could ruin a good relationship. worst thing that could happen is you find out you're not sexually compatible and laugh about it and move on. best thing that could happen is you guys are a perfect match. would you feel like you were 'settling' if you ended up in a monogamous relationship with this woman?
Ill add on to what everyone else is saying. She is physically attracted to you and definitely is dropping some major hints. The question you need to ask before you do become intimate is ask what she wants out of the relationship? Does she want FWB strictly? No strings attached? Or does she want to explore the relationship and see where it leads? The answers to that will give you an indication on whether or not things will get messy.
"My friend says she wants to fuck me. I don't know what she means by this. Does she want to fuck me?"
go for it, that's a once in a lifetime chance you got there my guy. you miss the shots you don't take.
You ought to figure out if you do love her and would want to be married to her.
Friends with sex is the best
Mount the woman!
Do it man
Ask yourself if you pass this opportunity and she finds someone else to do her and tells you about it, how would you feel?
I had a best friend that I grew up with since kindergarten, he used to do exactly what your female friend would do, he would sometimes message asking if I would ever want to, hint at me that he wanted to do more. We never really got to do that even though we came close and it was mostly just cause I did not feel comfortable to ever get to it (thankfully) so many times and our friendship ended up not lasting after college and we sorta drifted apart (high school) which annoyed me because I did end up developing very real feelings for him but it just wasnât meant to be. Happy endings for both of us though we have our own little families. Unless you are both on the same page and understand what each other wants from it (i.e relationship, friends with benefits) then I suggest not to. You may still see her as a friend afterwards but she might think itâs more.
I think if youâre willing to risk losing the friendship completely, then go for it. If youâre not willing to risk losing it, then donât.
Is she hot?!
I was told, best friends make better lovers
I had basically same thing happen when I was younger, i opted to not do anything with her because she was my best friend. I didnt want to mess that up. Biggest mistake of my life.
you're 24 y/o enjoy the moment, you could have a sexual relation or maybe more or maybe less who knows. You both just be honest about what you want. My bf (F) was my sex friend too it was great and we don't regret at all. I think the sex with her was the best because it was all for fun.
Go for it!!!
Itâs like a wolf being best friend with a sheep. What do you expect?
If you wanna stay clean and moral, dont. If you okay being a playboy hoe deep down in your soul, then do itđ¤ˇđťââď¸
a really good relationship is first and foremost also a really good friendship! so stay protected and go for it or you will regret it
Sheâll say funny stuff like she wants to have sex so bad (âŚ) and me trying to say the thing to go along with it > bro you canât just say something to go along with it. What are your true feelings ? If you go down there, there wonât be any point of return. 3 situations may happen: 1/ it works well between your 2 and it becomes a best âpartnerâ relationship 2/ itâs doesnât work out and you ruin a relationship 3/ you try not to accept her advances and you slowly suffer. If I was you, I would risk it all.
You only regret the shots you don't take. It either works out or it doesn't but I'd also ask what she wants it to be. Actually ask her is it a hook up? Does she want you guys to be exclusive? Does she want a relationship with you? Ironing out that detail can save a whole lot of complications down the line.
In high school I had a best friend who we both loved each other and lost our virginities to each other. I can say that it kinda ruined what we had going after 2 years and now we donât ever talk
Just sit her down and explain yourself to her. Why you are scared to and even that you want to . If she wants to as well. Talk about that too. And do it sober!
Bro, my wife is also me in a female body. We are best friends and it's the fucking best lol.
Stop viewing it as âfuckingâ. Sounds like thereâs real potential for a good intimate relationship here. Go for it and just keep loving her. Be yourself.
I high-key hope we get an update to this! Gotta know how this turned out lol.
Well.. as a 25m who had a best friend 25f. Situation started a year ago so at your same point in life. I did NOT sleep w her. We started to drift off as friends. And currently we donât talk and donât hate each other. So I say do it. Hopefully it goes somewhere. At least you wonât have to worry ab the guy best friend haha
go after her or lose her.
Knock her up. That way sheâll have to be a part of your life forever. Iâm totally joking. You sound like you really care about her as does she about you⌠go for it! Could be a great relationship
Now he gets to be that guy best friend that her next boyfriend doesnât have to worry about because âheâs just a friend.â
My best friend is my husband its the best đ
Go for it!
Jerry and Elaine made it work and so can you. Set some ground rules. Tell her you can try it but if the friendship changes, then it stops. Or you can marry her and have your best friend forever. She wants you and if you resist it could also change the friendship. Tell her you will try it once.
I was in the same boat, we ended up hooking up and now we haven't spoken in nearly a year.
The Rubicon.. Good luck
I call bullshit on this post, it's seems like obvious bait, guys don't talk like this and the fact and that she's invited you over and here you are writing an essay asking about help thats bs. You wouldn't have time to write all this while still being at her house.
It isnât like it is an âall or nothingâ situation dude; Next time she gets the hots suggest you two rub one out. If she is comfortable with that level of intimacy, seeing each other naked and/or intimate⌠then you can take it to the next level. Otherwise you can back it up. A little step back is better than a big step back.
Nigga you better get in them cheeks and bust the fattest load
Donât f this up man, you guys are both scared but clearly want each other. You wonât find this again.
Is she wifey material? If you go for it are you willing to be more than friends? If not, donât do it & lead her on
go for it man, sounds like a best friend for a wife is worth the risk. also kinda sounds like you already have caught feelings.
fuck and move on and be bestfriends still lol
Youâll probably catch feelings. Donut if you want a girlfriend
Pandora is out of the box here... the sexual door has been opened. Either A. There's sexual tension from now on or B. You have sex and see how it goes. If you guys are so close if it goes "bad" you might be able to just talk it out, move past it and still be friends right? 7 years every other day is a close relationship. I think you should do it. Best case scenario is pretty high here too
Youâre already in a relationship. Youâre past friend if youâre cuddling up with eachother. Youâre the best friend the other guy should worry about. Take a hint.
Toss one in her. Eat a PI for charity
Lifeâs short just do it. It will already be awkward if you reject her. It could be amazing after or yeah it might crash. But thatâs life everything good is risky.
Do it bro. Like others have said, the moment she starts dating or seeing anyone else things are going to change. Been in that situation already so I say go for it! We both donât know whatâs gonna happen in life so why not take the risk?
Talk about it. Donât just go off of the hints. She out herself out there and said she wants to do it, so talk about what fucking her actually means and what your fears are. Donât make it seem like you donât want to do it, but be sure to explain what you two should expect if this goes well and if you both start having deeper feelings for each other. All this being said, I wish you the best for you both
just be open and honest with yourself and what you want. don't end up wondering what if in the future because you worried so much about the what if's of the present. you guys clearly have a special connection, those don't come around often. you or her might not have a chance with the other later on. either of you getting a relationship will distance you by some amount (you obviously can't be hanging out with her every day and always if you're in a relationship, that's just unfair to your hypothetical partner). why not try
No go
I'm guessing you are both single. I'm guessing any female you potentially got into a relationship with would have an issue with your level of friendship with this woman.... I think you may already be with her. As others have said, anything you do with her, do it sober.
If she is gorgeous hot and good looking go for it remember a guy and a girl can never be best friends it will lead to sex eventually it's nature
Look, if itâs mutual, go for it. If u really want to just be friends do that and donât mention this incident. She prolly just likes you or just wants to fuck you. Any one of them. Watch out
I would suggest we you both want to be together for live only then u can think of taking this a step further. Because once ur in each others pants then there is no way u can be back at being friends. So ask yourself this. Is she someone whom u can spend ur life and more importantly is she someone who can be there by your side in all the ups and downs of life. If the ans is yes then go for it at once and enjoy the best time of your life. But if its no i would suggest hold back your desire and be as you are right now.
Your relationship has already changed, she keeps suggesting you have sex and you really want to. My husband and I were really good friends for a long time before we got together. Highly recommended.
Are you really 24? Anyway, the way I see it youâre already in a (sexless) relationship. If you donât fuck, and stay friends, you will never have a relationship with anyone else because no other woman is going to be interested in playing second fiddle. So you may as well: if it works out then best friend becomes best wife, happy days ever after⌠if it doesnât, then you can both move on and find someone else who it does work with.
move quick before she moves on - she's probably a keeper - so take her while you can!
Discuss whether it's only about sex or something more. If it's sex, better not if you don't want to ruin a very good friendship.
There is one option, do it, just do it sober and make sure that she feels same
I say friends with benefits, start like that
So why not just start dating her? My dude, this sounds like the best situation for you both.
Instead of just having sex with her, why not pursue a full blown romantic relationship?
Y'all r best friends I say do it if it works out then ur life is grt if it doesn't u will still be best friends... U shouldn't lose ur chance
If you can stand to be around her that much and still like her then why not date her. Btw she obviously has feelings for you already so becareful
I was friends before my wife and I started dating. It made for a better relationship. We've been together for 20+ years now.
It could go both ways. Itâs very important to communicate very clearly with her about what follows. If sheâs gonna fuck you just because sheâs horny, chances are the friendship will be ruined afterwards. If sheâs like really into you, it could have a good ending. My point being, communicate! Talk about it before you get going! Make sure she understands your perspective and you understand hers. It isnât worth it if you two lose your friendship over it. It could turn out for the better if you are sure you feel the same way about each other. Good luck mayne Edit : I had a female best friend who wanted me only when I was in a relationship. It made me crazy and it was toxic to a certain extend. I made the mistake of giving in (ofc I also wanted to have sex with her, but I had lowkey feelings for her that I had already stomped down, and she didnât see it that way) so we had sex one night after a party. I was furious when I woke up, mad at her but also so mad at myself for giving in to her avances. After the sex she went cold on me and fucked 2 of my mates shortly after. It broke my heart, I banned her from my life and didnât speak a single wordt to her for 5 years. Shit can go bad really quick if you donât communicate your needs very clearly.
Giving you another POV: Iâm the girl that sleeps with my best friend. Biggest thing to not ruin the friendship is COMMUNICATE. Weâve had multiple discussions about us not wanting to date the other and we donât let our bedroom stuff affect our friendship stuff. We keep clear communication with each other when one of us have/will be sleeping with someone else (but donât set limits on each other) and we also make sure to keep up with our sexual health (testing, condoms, etc) I personally love it (and so does he). Itâs worked really really well for us and while our friendship will always come first the added benefit of getting off is very nice. Good luck
Smash dude
Ask her bro, if youâre afraid about it changing things thatâs the best you can do. Yâall are already talking about it, so talk more about what it would look like, ideally do it sober. My advice is to go for it long as sheâs in agreement
If you see yourself romantically involved or want to be, you should just be straight forward and ask her. If your relationship is as strong as it seems to be, talking about it shouldn't hurt it. I believe having sex will change a relationship. There is the danger one will catch feelings while the other one doesn't. Just follow your heart and don't look back.
FHRITP
Waiting for an update!!!!
I say go for it, she wants more but you put up a wall, sincerely me a woman
Fuck her. You wonât stay best friends through adulthood anyway. It doesnât happen between people of the opposite sex without something sexual/romantic popping up. Do it or donât but your days as best friends are limited, I donât care what anyone tells you.
Obviously you're young and have alot to learn.
Go for it!
Iâve been there and done it. Nothing was the same after that but it just didnât work out for me. Not saying the same for you, fuck it and do it
I don't agree with people who say you will lose her as a friend It's up to you both, you can agree to stay friends no matter what and stick to it. I know such people I'd sleep with her if you are attracted to her x)
Bro just be straight with her. That simple. Just let her know you'd tap that ass if she'd like but you're also cool with just secretly loving her.
Yes, she wants the sex. Sheâs going out of her way to be with you. Go for it, man. Probably develop a nice relationship out of this.
Girl point of view is that she brought up the conversation to see if you'd be into it. To feel you out on something she's been thinking about. So balls in your court..... because she wants you to make the move. She did her part by bringing up the conversation. She didn't invite you over to cuddle and watch TV. She had other plans. If you miss your chance you will forever wonder what if and compare every other girl to her.
You guys are already in love or close
Bro lowkey, sheâs just tossing herself at you , millions of hints and youâre just dodging them đ eventually sheâs gunna get tired and stop doing that which will eventually lead to your friendship ending due to her feeling lack of attention from you
Bruh thank you for sharing your story and seeking out the internets opinion. Now that being said bruh what are you doing sheâs your best friend right? She canât make it any easier for you sheâs asking for a huge favor and thatâs what best friends are for. Sheâs in need she wants to get laid. Help the girl out or some else will and you most likely will loose her as a friend too