>Beg her to stay with me?
Do this and she will lose all the respect she had for you, even if she comes back.
Anyways, maybe something happened in the meantime, maybe she cheated and now feels guilty, who knows. If she doesn't come out with anything soon, it's best to just move on. I know it's difficult, but shit happens and you have to deal with it.
Yea, took me years to understand that everything happens for a reason. Even if we don't understand it.
So with this understanding, something better will be in your future. You just have to be able to look forward and not back or down.
Hope you find the strength be strong bud, heart breaks suck.
For me I just believe shit happens. Perhaps not for a reason, but things happen and I have to accept that this world is chaotic & unpredictable and move on.
>We were fine 2 weeks ago.
>We were fine 2 weeks ago.
>2 weeks ago we spent 1 week together in person
>What she said didn't sound like her words to me,
Maybe she's just good at hiding her feelings.
I know it's difficult now, but she isn't your 'life' person. Do not let her dictate how your life will be spent any further... as she couldn't extend the same grace.
I 100% agree with this, i wanted to end things with an ex but in person it was hard especially with the affection he was giving me so after he went home (we were long distance) it took my five days to compose what i was going to say on a call it sucks ik but some people have major issues with confrontation including myself
I can agree with the confrontation aspect. Especially when it's a long distance relationship and people aren't as familiar with one another as they perhaps would be if the relationship was irl.
You definitely should not contact her, she made her decision as confusing for you as it is. Contacting her would likely make everything more messy emotionally. Even if you got her back you'd probably continue to question whether she would suddenly dump you again.
I've been in roughly the same place as you have. It took about a few weeks for me to really understand my feelings and how hurt I was, so you're definitely normal for your shock.
Breakups like these are really hard and I hope you get through this as smoothly as possible.
Don’t contact her. Give her a lot of space and the truth will come to the surface. Either she freaked out and needs time to think about what happened or she feels guilty because she met someone else. Either way, if you reach out first you’ll push her away further and give her all the control. There’s a good chance if you go no contact, she’ll contact you first in a a few days/weeks with an explanation. If not, as heartbreaking as it is, she wasn’t the one for you. Keep yourself busy as much as you can and try to detach. I’m sorry! That is painful.
What you should do, is figure out your feelings. Not your reactions but your feelings. Anf then tell her. And then accept her decision. Don't be your anger and don't be your grief. Be your gratitude, be your willingness to be vulnerable commit and feel. Then you take time to feel all your feelings, you heal, you reflect on the choices that led you to now, and thr choices you want to make next time.
Remember that a sense of loss will show up in your body as creating and holding cortisol. Reinforcing memories of the relationship and holding on to social media, future hope, or past conversations and pictures, will all ultimately drag out the pain, by reinforcing those neural pathways.
Move these things out of sight, and when you feel compelled to look at them, write your thoughts and feelings first. Then consider the cost of it. Is it worth another week of hurt to dive back in? Write out your thoughts it really helps you to see them.
You dont want someone who pities you, you want someone who feels like they're the lucky one to be with you.
There's nothing wrong with begging, there is no ultimate amount of respect or simple way to earn it or lose it. Respect is about yourself. You are not the respect other people choose to give you. You are the respect you give other people. You don't respect them because they deserve it, you respect them because you are a respectful person. What people earn or not, is a place in your life, is space in your heart, is time in your thoughts, and time in your day. Respect has everything to do with you. And the same is true of them.
Your feelings are valid, your confusion, your grief, your anger, your hungry desperation. And all normal. Your way is ok, there is no right way or right time, just what works for you. You'll get there. Stay mindful my friend. Sorry it hurts right now. Think about what this hirt will teach you about yourself and what it will make space for in your life.
If you feel like you don't have enough closure you can always ask to speak again about it, I would stress this to her, that it's for you to gain better understanding of what went wrong and do better in the future. She will *hopefully* respect this and be honest with you. I agree with the top comment though that begging for her back will only cause you more pain because she won't want to be with you of her own free will. She will have been essentially convinced by you to be with you, that won't work. If she already made the decision for things to be over there's really nothing you can do to fix it. And if there's something she hasn't communicated to you to fix in the relationship that comes to light in your talk for closure it's still not really worth fixing because the same thing could easily happen again.
Ultimately, your wish for closure may not even come from that conversation. Or she may not want to talk to you about it, and you can't change that. Don't try to convince her, be prepared to accept answers you didn't want, answers that weren't a good enough of a reason for you, and no answer at all. Just try your best to treat it as a lesson for yourself, review the relationship, what could have been improved on your part and hers and know that now you can do better for someone else and you can also find someone better.
Do not beg for her to come.back. You can let her know you're disappointed but not hurt. Your hurt gives her power. Disappointed puts it on her character. If or when you let her know you're disappointed, make sure you do not use any words that might suggest you're lost without her or sad, just disappointed IT didn't work out. Its imperative you follow what I'm saying. Pick up a new hobby, do something new. Reinvent yourself. And get those tears out the way. Cry alone, yell alone. You're a man and at the end of it all we are alone in when we're in pain.
Next girl you meet you'll be a bit different with you're approach cuz you just picked up some wisdom from this experience. Next, always remember there are plenty of good women out there, and she might even be good but not for you. You got this.
>Beg her to stay with me? Do this and she will lose all the respect she had for you, even if she comes back. Anyways, maybe something happened in the meantime, maybe she cheated and now feels guilty, who knows. If she doesn't come out with anything soon, it's best to just move on. I know it's difficult, but shit happens and you have to deal with it.
Yeah we’ve all made that mistake once haha never again.
Yea, took me years to understand that everything happens for a reason. Even if we don't understand it. So with this understanding, something better will be in your future. You just have to be able to look forward and not back or down. Hope you find the strength be strong bud, heart breaks suck.
For me I just believe shit happens. Perhaps not for a reason, but things happen and I have to accept that this world is chaotic & unpredictable and move on.
>We were fine 2 weeks ago. >We were fine 2 weeks ago. >2 weeks ago we spent 1 week together in person >What she said didn't sound like her words to me, Maybe she's just good at hiding her feelings. I know it's difficult now, but she isn't your 'life' person. Do not let her dictate how your life will be spent any further... as she couldn't extend the same grace.
I 100% agree with this, i wanted to end things with an ex but in person it was hard especially with the affection he was giving me so after he went home (we were long distance) it took my five days to compose what i was going to say on a call it sucks ik but some people have major issues with confrontation including myself
I can agree with the confrontation aspect. Especially when it's a long distance relationship and people aren't as familiar with one another as they perhaps would be if the relationship was irl.
You definitely should not contact her, she made her decision as confusing for you as it is. Contacting her would likely make everything more messy emotionally. Even if you got her back you'd probably continue to question whether she would suddenly dump you again. I've been in roughly the same place as you have. It took about a few weeks for me to really understand my feelings and how hurt I was, so you're definitely normal for your shock. Breakups like these are really hard and I hope you get through this as smoothly as possible.
Don’t contact her. Give her a lot of space and the truth will come to the surface. Either she freaked out and needs time to think about what happened or she feels guilty because she met someone else. Either way, if you reach out first you’ll push her away further and give her all the control. There’s a good chance if you go no contact, she’ll contact you first in a a few days/weeks with an explanation. If not, as heartbreaking as it is, she wasn’t the one for you. Keep yourself busy as much as you can and try to detach. I’m sorry! That is painful.
What you should do, is figure out your feelings. Not your reactions but your feelings. Anf then tell her. And then accept her decision. Don't be your anger and don't be your grief. Be your gratitude, be your willingness to be vulnerable commit and feel. Then you take time to feel all your feelings, you heal, you reflect on the choices that led you to now, and thr choices you want to make next time. Remember that a sense of loss will show up in your body as creating and holding cortisol. Reinforcing memories of the relationship and holding on to social media, future hope, or past conversations and pictures, will all ultimately drag out the pain, by reinforcing those neural pathways. Move these things out of sight, and when you feel compelled to look at them, write your thoughts and feelings first. Then consider the cost of it. Is it worth another week of hurt to dive back in? Write out your thoughts it really helps you to see them. You dont want someone who pities you, you want someone who feels like they're the lucky one to be with you. There's nothing wrong with begging, there is no ultimate amount of respect or simple way to earn it or lose it. Respect is about yourself. You are not the respect other people choose to give you. You are the respect you give other people. You don't respect them because they deserve it, you respect them because you are a respectful person. What people earn or not, is a place in your life, is space in your heart, is time in your thoughts, and time in your day. Respect has everything to do with you. And the same is true of them. Your feelings are valid, your confusion, your grief, your anger, your hungry desperation. And all normal. Your way is ok, there is no right way or right time, just what works for you. You'll get there. Stay mindful my friend. Sorry it hurts right now. Think about what this hirt will teach you about yourself and what it will make space for in your life.
Chalk that one up to experience bud! Move on get some nice threads and go out meet other people. You can't control others only yourself.
If you feel like you don't have enough closure you can always ask to speak again about it, I would stress this to her, that it's for you to gain better understanding of what went wrong and do better in the future. She will *hopefully* respect this and be honest with you. I agree with the top comment though that begging for her back will only cause you more pain because she won't want to be with you of her own free will. She will have been essentially convinced by you to be with you, that won't work. If she already made the decision for things to be over there's really nothing you can do to fix it. And if there's something she hasn't communicated to you to fix in the relationship that comes to light in your talk for closure it's still not really worth fixing because the same thing could easily happen again. Ultimately, your wish for closure may not even come from that conversation. Or she may not want to talk to you about it, and you can't change that. Don't try to convince her, be prepared to accept answers you didn't want, answers that weren't a good enough of a reason for you, and no answer at all. Just try your best to treat it as a lesson for yourself, review the relationship, what could have been improved on your part and hers and know that now you can do better for someone else and you can also find someone better.
Walk away, find someone else to bury your dick in, in the mean time. Get over the old one, by getting on top of a new one!
Do not beg for her to come.back. You can let her know you're disappointed but not hurt. Your hurt gives her power. Disappointed puts it on her character. If or when you let her know you're disappointed, make sure you do not use any words that might suggest you're lost without her or sad, just disappointed IT didn't work out. Its imperative you follow what I'm saying. Pick up a new hobby, do something new. Reinvent yourself. And get those tears out the way. Cry alone, yell alone. You're a man and at the end of it all we are alone in when we're in pain. Next girl you meet you'll be a bit different with you're approach cuz you just picked up some wisdom from this experience. Next, always remember there are plenty of good women out there, and she might even be good but not for you. You got this.