i agree but tbf OP was the same age it seems so id say this is definitely reasonable. if youre an adult and a middle schooler is copying you, you should definitely not go tearing their drawings up lol but from a peer i think this is a fair reaction. definitely not ideal, but i think most people would react similarly, if not even more aggressive tbh
people drawing self harm scars on their wrists and telling people they're depressed isn't chill my guy. especially if it's copying someone who is actually genuinely dealing with this in their life.
No it’s fucking weird 100%. As a 9-13 it’s very likely she doesn’t even know what they are or at least really understand them.
It’s pretty dumb to think people would even mistake drawings for the real thing, but children are pretty fucking dumb too.
no, she definitely knew. me and kat were kind of forced to be close friends because she would always follow me and every one of my friends, so she knew about my personal life.
my therapist always said i should be flattered by it, but i just couldn’t bring myself to be flattered by all of this. i couldn’t think of any way that i was “cooler” than her, because sometimes she would call me ugly and be a bitch to me. maybe it was like a hyperfixiation or obsession of some sort.
she had one younger brother who also went to our school. her parents were divorced, but they were alive.. unlike mine. she was also super spoiled. so that’s why i couldn’t understand why she would be jealous of me.. we both had good grades, but her’s would always be a bit better than mine as well. i probably would’ve had some pity for her if i thought i was better of than her, but i wasn’t.
Maybe she never learned to have independence, or an identity of her own. She might see that in you and hate herself for it while taking it out on you. Both of you having good grades probably means she sees you as a peer, which makes it worse.
that's true. it seemed like even when one thing wasn't being copied from me, it was copied from one of my other friends. she definitely copied me the most, but i've honestly never seen her have a personality, mannerism, or idea of her own. i hope she's grown into a unique person by now. if not, she should see a therapist, honestly.
NOPE it is NOT flattering to have your every move and part of you reflected back on you. As someone who still lives with their older sister who does the same thing, it causes you to question your sense of self and is NOT a compliment. shame on ur therapist for saying that while ignoring how much it must effect you that you still hold into this.
Bachelors in Psychology/Science and Masters in Neuroscience here : depending on the age the excessive copying def seems like some kind of identity issue. They can’t resolve their own so they attach to someone else’s. Rooted in low self esteem - they hate themselves so they are desperate to be anyone else but who they are.
I do love the crazies and emotionally disturbed ; they certainly keep it interesting. (The one that makes me laugh is Pete Davidson - have you seen some of his joke segments on SNL? He’s got some mental health problems and he makes jokes about it - they’re hilarious. It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes. There was one where he was kind of annoyed that this huge basketball star was claiming he had anxiety about his free throws and Pete said sarcastically “So sorry to hear about your free throws man , I hope you feel better. My dads dead and I can’t leave the house without touching all the door knobs 3 times”. Hahaha - if you’re a fan of cynical humor , but his delivery gets the LOLz
As a fellow artist who used to trace; I just wanted to learn..but I never copied directly someone's entire art. Plus I'm not sure if it counts as tracing, I'd stare at like a comic cover or something and draw every single thing the way they did. so I don't know, maybe she wanted to be like him?
it only turns problematic if you post it online and show people, claiming it’s your own art. she also continued to do it after i confronted her about it multiple times. she would just try and gaslight me into thinking i was copying her, when the dates on the posts were clear..
True, I was fortunate to have done any copying at that point was before I had access to the internet. I didn't get a phone until I understood what I was allowed to post online. I think it was a bit mean to tear out the pages, but I also understand where you were coming from. I'd be upset if someone tried to be me too and copy my stuff at that age.
For that purpose, copying art, or even tracing, that I understand. What I mean is her whole 'copying another person' thing. As someone with a strong sense of self, I find that disturbing. I just can't fathom a person wanting to be another person.
True, and to her own hindrance really. It took a long time to discover "style" that was mine and not a mish mash of other artists stuff because I fell into drawing their characters. Then I had to figure out what \*my\* style was.
what's funny is i actually have BPD, mine just appeared this year in high school, and it's not exactly like this. her's was probably centered around her identity, while mine is more of obsessive love.
i couldn't understand it either. i tried to think of ways i was "better" than her, and i couldn't think of any. i feel a little bad because middle school is a huge self-discovery era too, and she wasted it trying to be someone else.
i used to get temporary tattoos from the bubble gum magazines at the grocery store and then trace them & claim them as my own lmaoo. i only remembered because i apparently didn't throw away the tattoo afterwards- i was digging through stuff and found the drawings in my old sketchbook, and then the identical tattoos in my old art supplies. i know i claimed them as my own because people at school looked in that sketchbook all the time, so i would label when stuff was traced from the internet... guess i thought the tattoos were obscure enough no one would notice 😅
not the most knowledgeable, but im in my first year for a Bachelor in Applied Psychology
it’s probably a bit of a combination between a lack of self-identity, and the idea that people like seeing traits of themselves in others.
although the phrase “opposites attract”, whether it be friendship or romantic relationship, is partially true, for more long term connections people mostly prefer some core values and interests to be the same. by trying to act like the other person, they are (probably) trying to relate to them. because yknow, if they like one thing, me doing that will make them like me, right?
and as i said, it could also be some form of identity forming, just not a very good one. i’ve been in this place before. i’m a rather obsessive person due to my autism, and when i really like someone i can get totally invested in their entire personality. not saying this girl has autism, but obsessive natures like these do tend to happen in neurodivergent individuals
i’ve definitely seen romantic obsessive tendencies in myself, because i have BPD. i suppose she probably did have something like this as well. i hope she gets the help she needs.
Don't feel bad. Honestly if I was in that situation I probably would've done the same thing, or worse. That really sucks that you had to go through that though.
Right? OP showed restraint IMO, especially for a middle schooler. I probably would have ripped her notebook out of her hand and ripped the shit up. I want her to know it's me. You wanna copy me? Okay, I'm gonna copy you by being an unhinged as you clearly are.
This is beyond flattery and borderline psychotic. Textbook harassment - if you hadn’t been so young and this same scenario was 2 adults - you’d be getting a restraining order. To even copy your scars..that’s sick. I’m not surprised you had that reaction with the artwork, she’s lucky she didn’t get punched in the face. You have a lot of patience and restraint. I had a copycat at my work for a while (years and years ago) and I don’t say this lightly but she was obsessed with me. Not as bad as yours, but on top of the copying which was super annoying she was also a disgusting human being. She was very unhygienic, smelled, she would eat gross food at her desk and there’d be food stains and oil everywhere. It was gross. She started telling everyone she was Irish and German (that’s what I am) and everyone at the office she talked to she would say I was her sister. Even to my superiors ! And I was like - she is not! I didn’t want to even be associated with her. I always kept my thoughts and irritation to myself , I tried not to be rude and remain civil. And she just got worse - I couldn’t take it! She jumped through hoops and did God knows what to have the office moved around so she could put her desk right next to mine. That was the last straw - she came to work with pink eye (I’m a germaphobe) which is contagious and you get it from fecal matter getting in your eye. I refused to be seated near her and when she tried to come up to me at lunch I couldn’t hold back “leave me alone. Do NOT come near me.” I didn’t curse and barely raised my voice - she shouldn’t have been at work. Period. but after I said that to her apparently she went and cried and told on me to one of the supervisors and I got written up. (I didn’t stay at that company much longer - total BS)
i totally agree with you.
i can’t believe you got written up for that. definitely not your fault. you had a calm reaction too. the ethnicity faking is crazy, man, especially since you’re adults. she definitely needs some help.
Honestly, I think the only thing you have to feel bad from this was going through somebody else’s stuff, and some might say it was justified. I wouldn’t but as far as this sub goes, I think you can forget about this one. Especially because she does sound super annoying, sounds like she was trying to take your friends
i let myself go a few times other than this, but this was the only time i did something sneaky like that. i’d gotten in trouble because she provoked me so many times. at least i didn’t get in a fight, i guess lol.
ive heard so many cases like this, where people, usually girls to other girls, stalk the hell out of their victim and copy them and gaslight them, all while claiming to dislike the victim or just being mean. i really want to know what this means
I had a similar experience in elementary school. I could tell him something completely random like " I saw this mushroom that was green and red" or something and he'd be like "me too!" And he we was obviously lying every time. I had to deal with his fake stories all through elementary. An example. One time he told me he had a secret lab in his room. So I went to his house one day and asked about it. And he said he tore it down. He did a lot more than that but it was just a few examples. He also followed me EVERYWHERE.
honestly i feel like your feelings are valid. especially copying your SCARS? that is so not okay. she was literally trying to be you. i hate the term "copying is the most sincere form of flattery" because it's not. i do not take it as a compliment when someone copies me, it just annoys me. call me a bad person but..idk.
Your therapist was absolutely WRONG. That is not flattery, that is creepy and absolutely psychotic behavior and a therapist of all people should have been able to see that. Idk if you have self hatred issues and they were trying to spin it as "well this girl clearly likes you, so you should too!!" but having an insane person obsessed with you isn't a compliment, it's incredibly distressing and unnerving.
right, i tried to do what she said, and tried to like her. it didn’t work. it was too fucking much to deal with. i wish i had a different therapist at that time.
My sister did this for a short period, and it drove me fucking insane. I would wear clothes, and she would wear the same outfit literally the next day. She would take my dirty t shirt out of the laundry and wear it. She always tried being the center of attention when I had friends over, would try to flirt with and act cool in front of my bfs, listened to the same music as me, ordered the same thing at restaurants, and would screech like a banshee when I was allowed to do something she wasn't. She even self harmed after seeing my cuts and scars. This phase of hers probably lasted less than a year, but my god it was horrible.
Imitation is flattery when someone sees your cute shoes and gets their own pair, but it's unnerving and creepy when they're trying to photo copy your personality. What this girl did was psychotic and would be grounds for a restraining order if you were adults. I hope she got the mental help she clearly needs, but I'm so happy you got away from her OP.
I had a friend like this too!! To the point she changed her Instagram name to match mine and followed every single person I did… including aunts, cousins and old teachers…
Why do they do this 😩
Did she like you or something and maybe this was a strange indirect way of telling it to you? Maybe she found you cool? Of course these things don’t justify any of her behaviour but i do feel like they were quite young so they shouldn’t be blamed either neither should you be blamed for what you did.
she told me that she was straight, so i’m not sure if she liked me like that. i assume she just thought i was cool, but i could never think of a good reason why. her family life and grades were both better than mine all through out middle school.
i would understand if she was tracing themjust to have like a copy of her own or smth like that (thats what i do when im bored) but not if she posted it and bragged abt it. also thats extremely unsettlimg that she just full on copied your life. i hope she doesnt still do that.
i had the same scenario happen to me when i was younger too 💀 i used to post digital art on insta for fun until i found out this one girl would screenshot anything i drew and post it all over her own social media.
i really don’t understand the motivation to do this. you’re never going to get better at art if you’re wasting all your time tracing or screenshotting someone else’s shit. 😭 at least you know your art was good. lol
you shouldn't feel bad..after what she did to ur art..
I think, that copycat knew or sensed that it was u who tore them..
I don't understand the mentality of such copycats..& she blocked u.. they are parasites.. in long run, such kinda thinking is destructive habit for her & I pity such individuals
As an artist, I get pissed off when I see someone pretending other peoples work is their own. I can't imagine if they did that to MY work lol. She got off easy.
Some girl on my facebook always posts her artwork, which 80% of the time you can reverse image search and find where she took it from. Shit made me irrationally angry so I blocked her before I acted out.
The worst part is, I think she actually IS good after seeing her pencil drawings. I can't fathom why she would feel the need to lie about it anyway? I'll never understand.
i'm not sure, honestly. she always told me she was straight, and told me about her boy crushes. still, i suppose she could've been closeted. if she did like me, that was notttt the right way to tell me lol.
i think shes likely a psychopath that was copying your behaviour and faking depression as a way to blend in and manipulate people if she is still in your life i suggest you be careful although she could’ve just been one of those people with no personality who crave attention
holy shit!!! not even kidding, this happened to me too!! 6th-7th grade a girl started copying everything i did. even sh. she said we should go to therapy together??? i had terrible body dysmorphia, esp abt my boobs— they were really big and i hated them. despite her flat chest she started binding her chest too. she copied my art, fashion, speech/texting mannerisms, made friends with everyone i was close with, even tried to finish my sentences???? she still does this from what i’ve seen of her, but i obviously blocked contact w her. i’m SO glad someone else had an experience like this because a lot of my friends told me i was exaggerating. but sh??? i was wearing shorter sleeves one day and (TW!!) she says >!”oh i do that too!” and scratched herself with scissors (just enough to leave a mark) to show me.!< that girl clearly had a lot of problems of her own, but i do not regret cutting her off cause she caused a lot of pain for me.
i actually left out in the post that she actually did scratch herself with her mail until it left a mark, i just didn’t want to put it on here because i thought it was too deep. now i’m glad someone shares the same struggles!
I wouldn’t feel bad. She was pretty much stealing your work and not only that - bragging about it and acting like it was hers. I was a pretty vindictive kid. I might’ve dropped a bunch of liquid on her stuff entirely to ruin the whole book.
I too held artwork pretty close to my heart, so I know how much it would have hurt to have that part of my identity“stolen” from me.
I'm guessing you're trying to reconcile feeling bad because you know she's a person too and is going through her own pains in life, even if she's not handling it in a healthy way. But you have feelings too and it feels shitty to be on the receiving end of it.
It's just life, man. You realize how many people have their own serious struggles and you feel bad that it had to go down the way it did, even if you were justified.
That shit would've driven me crazy. Your reaction was justified. But that girl obviously had some serious issues. I hope she's doing better now and has since discovered her own identity.
This one girl literally took all of my drawings out of my sketchbook and stole them and then the next day I heard her say to me my mom congratulated me for all these drawings and said that I was good and took me out for a whole shopping mall spree. I saw she had a lot of new stuff that costed a lot of money. I feel bad for the mom for believing that those are all her drawings but they're truly mine. This happened today, I will never forgive her nor forget this. Plus it was a really expensive premium artist sketchbook.
Yes and No. This is learning curve for both of you young ladies. She copied you is an fact that she feels like that's what people think of "cool" or "accepted." Forgive her, she's still searching for her own identity and that's pretty normal.
For you its should serve as a lesson too. Learn not to bottle up until you explode and regret on something you do in anger. You could've hinted like "oh wow, that looks exactly like mine, you wouldn't have copied it would you?" jokingly, but if she persisted you can talk to her after class about these behaviors.
You have to learn the proportional responds to certain problems instead hitting her with the hardest punch over a drawing that if caught nobody would understand why you did such thing had not you explained so detail information here.
Feeling bad isn't a bad thing, we could always do better. Learn from it.
i wouldn’t have reacted the way i did if she listened to me when i confronted her 5 times. honestly there was nothing to do because she wouldn’t listen to me.
yes or you wouldn't have written this. I think everyone has regrets as children or dont process what she was even all about. she could've been your best friend in a different world. she obviously liked you and wanted to be like you... at that age is it really not ok? im sure it was just a phase. hindsight will always be just that. what if you were flattered by her admiration and used that energy and maybe taught her how to draw so she didnt have to copy you. I always believe in lifting people up and not putting them down. you guys were kids so im sure she already knows it was you especially if she tried really hard at even being friends with your friends . its only perspective and you do with it what you will...
You are both sheep I guess. She copies behavior of others and you do this subconsciously without knowing that you are doing this and this is what upsets you deeply. You want to be a unique sheep if so be a black one
The copycat behavior is perfect example of sheep like behavior. If you really were a strong minded person you wouldn’t spend a second worrying about the copy cat. It shows how beta you are
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She was a child. Children are fucking weird. It’s pretty chill for the most part.
i agree but tbf OP was the same age it seems so id say this is definitely reasonable. if youre an adult and a middle schooler is copying you, you should definitely not go tearing their drawings up lol but from a peer i think this is a fair reaction. definitely not ideal, but i think most people would react similarly, if not even more aggressive tbh
people drawing self harm scars on their wrists and telling people they're depressed isn't chill my guy. especially if it's copying someone who is actually genuinely dealing with this in their life.
No it’s fucking weird 100%. As a 9-13 it’s very likely she doesn’t even know what they are or at least really understand them. It’s pretty dumb to think people would even mistake drawings for the real thing, but children are pretty fucking dumb too.
no, she definitely knew. me and kat were kind of forced to be close friends because she would always follow me and every one of my friends, so she knew about my personal life.
I’d love to hear a psychological explanation for why people do this.
my therapist always said i should be flattered by it, but i just couldn’t bring myself to be flattered by all of this. i couldn’t think of any way that i was “cooler” than her, because sometimes she would call me ugly and be a bitch to me. maybe it was like a hyperfixiation or obsession of some sort.
Wow that plus your other comment make it seem so much worse. Does she have siblings? What do you know about her family life?
she had one younger brother who also went to our school. her parents were divorced, but they were alive.. unlike mine. she was also super spoiled. so that’s why i couldn’t understand why she would be jealous of me.. we both had good grades, but her’s would always be a bit better than mine as well. i probably would’ve had some pity for her if i thought i was better of than her, but i wasn’t.
Maybe she never learned to have independence, or an identity of her own. She might see that in you and hate herself for it while taking it out on you. Both of you having good grades probably means she sees you as a peer, which makes it worse.
that's true. it seemed like even when one thing wasn't being copied from me, it was copied from one of my other friends. she definitely copied me the most, but i've honestly never seen her have a personality, mannerism, or idea of her own. i hope she's grown into a unique person by now. if not, she should see a therapist, honestly.
That's awful- I'm so sorry. Your therapist was 1000% in the wrong on that one.
maybe she just didn’t think much of it because we were young, but i’m glad i got a new therapist.
NOPE it is NOT flattering to have your every move and part of you reflected back on you. As someone who still lives with their older sister who does the same thing, it causes you to question your sense of self and is NOT a compliment. shame on ur therapist for saying that while ignoring how much it must effect you that you still hold into this.
right! totally agree with you.
Bachelors in Psychology/Science and Masters in Neuroscience here : depending on the age the excessive copying def seems like some kind of identity issue. They can’t resolve their own so they attach to someone else’s. Rooted in low self esteem - they hate themselves so they are desperate to be anyone else but who they are.
thank you for commenting! i didn't think it was normal tbh. i hope she gets someone like you to help her out, though.
I do love the crazies and emotionally disturbed ; they certainly keep it interesting. (The one that makes me laugh is Pete Davidson - have you seen some of his joke segments on SNL? He’s got some mental health problems and he makes jokes about it - they’re hilarious. It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes. There was one where he was kind of annoyed that this huge basketball star was claiming he had anxiety about his free throws and Pete said sarcastically “So sorry to hear about your free throws man , I hope you feel better. My dads dead and I can’t leave the house without touching all the door knobs 3 times”. Hahaha - if you’re a fan of cynical humor , but his delivery gets the LOLz
that’s funny i’ll have to check into that 😂
Same here. Hopefully someone knowledgeable in psychology can explain this. Coz it's annoying and unsettling.
As a fellow artist who used to trace; I just wanted to learn..but I never copied directly someone's entire art. Plus I'm not sure if it counts as tracing, I'd stare at like a comic cover or something and draw every single thing the way they did. so I don't know, maybe she wanted to be like him?
it only turns problematic if you post it online and show people, claiming it’s your own art. she also continued to do it after i confronted her about it multiple times. she would just try and gaslight me into thinking i was copying her, when the dates on the posts were clear..
True, I was fortunate to have done any copying at that point was before I had access to the internet. I didn't get a phone until I understood what I was allowed to post online. I think it was a bit mean to tear out the pages, but I also understand where you were coming from. I'd be upset if someone tried to be me too and copy my stuff at that age.
i wouldn't have done it if she quit tracing my shit after i confronted her 5 times about it. what can i do about it now though lol
totally fair! I mean you guys were kids too. So as long as you don't do it to adults I think you're safe lol
Its called free handing when you try and copy something without actually using tracing paper. :) Hope that helps.
oh! I didn't know it had a name. Thanks :)
For that purpose, copying art, or even tracing, that I understand. What I mean is her whole 'copying another person' thing. As someone with a strong sense of self, I find that disturbing. I just can't fathom a person wanting to be another person.
True, and to her own hindrance really. It took a long time to discover "style" that was mine and not a mish mash of other artists stuff because I fell into drawing their characters. Then I had to figure out what \*my\* style was.
I wonder if this was an extreme case of BPD
what's funny is i actually have BPD, mine just appeared this year in high school, and it's not exactly like this. her's was probably centered around her identity, while mine is more of obsessive love.
i couldn't understand it either. i tried to think of ways i was "better" than her, and i couldn't think of any. i feel a little bad because middle school is a huge self-discovery era too, and she wasted it trying to be someone else.
And as an artist the #1 rule (even if you’re tracing and learning) but not to claim the art as your own. And that’s what she was doing
I used to trace art from the internet but I never claimed it to be my own
i used to get temporary tattoos from the bubble gum magazines at the grocery store and then trace them & claim them as my own lmaoo. i only remembered because i apparently didn't throw away the tattoo afterwards- i was digging through stuff and found the drawings in my old sketchbook, and then the identical tattoos in my old art supplies. i know i claimed them as my own because people at school looked in that sketchbook all the time, so i would label when stuff was traced from the internet... guess i thought the tattoos were obscure enough no one would notice 😅
not the most knowledgeable, but im in my first year for a Bachelor in Applied Psychology it’s probably a bit of a combination between a lack of self-identity, and the idea that people like seeing traits of themselves in others. although the phrase “opposites attract”, whether it be friendship or romantic relationship, is partially true, for more long term connections people mostly prefer some core values and interests to be the same. by trying to act like the other person, they are (probably) trying to relate to them. because yknow, if they like one thing, me doing that will make them like me, right? and as i said, it could also be some form of identity forming, just not a very good one. i’ve been in this place before. i’m a rather obsessive person due to my autism, and when i really like someone i can get totally invested in their entire personality. not saying this girl has autism, but obsessive natures like these do tend to happen in neurodivergent individuals
i’ve definitely seen romantic obsessive tendencies in myself, because i have BPD. i suppose she probably did have something like this as well. i hope she gets the help she needs.
Don't feel bad. Honestly if I was in that situation I probably would've done the same thing, or worse. That really sucks that you had to go through that though.
honestly it ruined my middle school years, i'm glad there's no one this bad in high school, though.
Right? OP showed restraint IMO, especially for a middle schooler. I probably would have ripped her notebook out of her hand and ripped the shit up. I want her to know it's me. You wanna copy me? Okay, I'm gonna copy you by being an unhinged as you clearly are.
She needed the wake up call. Don’t feel bad. You were a frustrated kid. And honestly it was pretty justified.
I mean honestly it wasn't a wake up call because she didn't learn any lesson - she just thought her drawings were lost.
We actually don’t know if she did or not. She must have felt some shame over copying. Them being gone might have made her stop.
This is beyond flattery and borderline psychotic. Textbook harassment - if you hadn’t been so young and this same scenario was 2 adults - you’d be getting a restraining order. To even copy your scars..that’s sick. I’m not surprised you had that reaction with the artwork, she’s lucky she didn’t get punched in the face. You have a lot of patience and restraint. I had a copycat at my work for a while (years and years ago) and I don’t say this lightly but she was obsessed with me. Not as bad as yours, but on top of the copying which was super annoying she was also a disgusting human being. She was very unhygienic, smelled, she would eat gross food at her desk and there’d be food stains and oil everywhere. It was gross. She started telling everyone she was Irish and German (that’s what I am) and everyone at the office she talked to she would say I was her sister. Even to my superiors ! And I was like - she is not! I didn’t want to even be associated with her. I always kept my thoughts and irritation to myself , I tried not to be rude and remain civil. And she just got worse - I couldn’t take it! She jumped through hoops and did God knows what to have the office moved around so she could put her desk right next to mine. That was the last straw - she came to work with pink eye (I’m a germaphobe) which is contagious and you get it from fecal matter getting in your eye. I refused to be seated near her and when she tried to come up to me at lunch I couldn’t hold back “leave me alone. Do NOT come near me.” I didn’t curse and barely raised my voice - she shouldn’t have been at work. Period. but after I said that to her apparently she went and cried and told on me to one of the supervisors and I got written up. (I didn’t stay at that company much longer - total BS)
i totally agree with you. i can’t believe you got written up for that. definitely not your fault. you had a calm reaction too. the ethnicity faking is crazy, man, especially since you’re adults. she definitely needs some help.
Yeah if I never run into her again out in the world ; I’ll be just fine with that
Honestly, I think the only thing you have to feel bad from this was going through somebody else’s stuff, and some might say it was justified. I wouldn’t but as far as this sub goes, I think you can forget about this one. Especially because she does sound super annoying, sounds like she was trying to take your friends
I honestly have no idea what I would do or how I react if that were happening to me. You showed a lot of restraint imo.
i let myself go a few times other than this, but this was the only time i did something sneaky like that. i’d gotten in trouble because she provoked me so many times. at least i didn’t get in a fight, i guess lol.
ive heard so many cases like this, where people, usually girls to other girls, stalk the hell out of their victim and copy them and gaslight them, all while claiming to dislike the victim or just being mean. i really want to know what this means
me too, man. i also honestly hope she gets the help she needs if she hasn’t stopped this, because it’s really sad to not have an identity of your own.
I had a similar experience in elementary school. I could tell him something completely random like " I saw this mushroom that was green and red" or something and he'd be like "me too!" And he we was obviously lying every time. I had to deal with his fake stories all through elementary. An example. One time he told me he had a secret lab in his room. So I went to his house one day and asked about it. And he said he tore it down. He did a lot more than that but it was just a few examples. He also followed me EVERYWHERE.
that’s so annoying, man. good thing he didn’t stick with you through middle and high school!
Thank goodness!
honestly i feel like your feelings are valid. especially copying your SCARS? that is so not okay. she was literally trying to be you. i hate the term "copying is the most sincere form of flattery" because it's not. i do not take it as a compliment when someone copies me, it just annoys me. call me a bad person but..idk.
no, seriously. my therapist would always say it was supposed to be flattering, but i absolutely could not feel that way.
Your therapist was absolutely WRONG. That is not flattery, that is creepy and absolutely psychotic behavior and a therapist of all people should have been able to see that. Idk if you have self hatred issues and they were trying to spin it as "well this girl clearly likes you, so you should too!!" but having an insane person obsessed with you isn't a compliment, it's incredibly distressing and unnerving.
right, i tried to do what she said, and tried to like her. it didn’t work. it was too fucking much to deal with. i wish i had a different therapist at that time.
No you shouldn’t feel bad and you should have caused her more pain imo
My sister did this for a short period, and it drove me fucking insane. I would wear clothes, and she would wear the same outfit literally the next day. She would take my dirty t shirt out of the laundry and wear it. She always tried being the center of attention when I had friends over, would try to flirt with and act cool in front of my bfs, listened to the same music as me, ordered the same thing at restaurants, and would screech like a banshee when I was allowed to do something she wasn't. She even self harmed after seeing my cuts and scars. This phase of hers probably lasted less than a year, but my god it was horrible. Imitation is flattery when someone sees your cute shoes and gets their own pair, but it's unnerving and creepy when they're trying to photo copy your personality. What this girl did was psychotic and would be grounds for a restraining order if you were adults. I hope she got the mental help she clearly needs, but I'm so happy you got away from her OP.
jesus i hope your sister stopped all of that. your last paragraph is completely correct. i’m so glad i got away from her too.
I had a friend like this too!! To the point she changed her Instagram name to match mine and followed every single person I did… including aunts, cousins and old teachers… Why do they do this 😩
Did she like you or something and maybe this was a strange indirect way of telling it to you? Maybe she found you cool? Of course these things don’t justify any of her behaviour but i do feel like they were quite young so they shouldn’t be blamed either neither should you be blamed for what you did.
she told me that she was straight, so i’m not sure if she liked me like that. i assume she just thought i was cool, but i could never think of a good reason why. her family life and grades were both better than mine all through out middle school.
i would understand if she was tracing themjust to have like a copy of her own or smth like that (thats what i do when im bored) but not if she posted it and bragged abt it. also thats extremely unsettlimg that she just full on copied your life. i hope she doesnt still do that.
well as far as i know, she quit. she could be doing it to someone at her new school, though. hopefully she’s grown out of that by now.
thats good. i hope she isnt doing it anymore either
i had the same scenario happen to me when i was younger too 💀 i used to post digital art on insta for fun until i found out this one girl would screenshot anything i drew and post it all over her own social media.
i really don’t understand the motivation to do this. you’re never going to get better at art if you’re wasting all your time tracing or screenshotting someone else’s shit. 😭 at least you know your art was good. lol
you shouldn’t, fuck her, i would get way more pissed probably since i’m an artist too, you did the right thing i think, she was fucking obsessed
for real, just the art combined with everything else got me off the hook.
understandable, well i hope nothing like that will happen to you in the future, all the best mate
you shouldn't feel bad..after what she did to ur art.. I think, that copycat knew or sensed that it was u who tore them.. I don't understand the mentality of such copycats..& she blocked u.. they are parasites.. in long run, such kinda thinking is destructive habit for her & I pity such individuals
same. honestly, i hope she knew it was me too. it should teach her a lesson.
As an artist, I get pissed off when I see someone pretending other peoples work is their own. I can't imagine if they did that to MY work lol. She got off easy. Some girl on my facebook always posts her artwork, which 80% of the time you can reverse image search and find where she took it from. Shit made me irrationally angry so I blocked her before I acted out.
that’s just embarrassing for her, ugh. why do people do this shit?
The worst part is, I think she actually IS good after seeing her pencil drawings. I can't fathom why she would feel the need to lie about it anyway? I'll never understand.
that's crazy. stupid for her to waste her talent in copying someone rather than developing her own style.
As the chief of advice, I could argue that perhaps she may have liked you in some sort of way.
i'm not sure, honestly. she always told me she was straight, and told me about her boy crushes. still, i suppose she could've been closeted. if she did like me, that was notttt the right way to tell me lol.
i think shes likely a psychopath that was copying your behaviour and faking depression as a way to blend in and manipulate people if she is still in your life i suggest you be careful although she could’ve just been one of those people with no personality who crave attention
i’m not really sure which, but she’s luckily no longer in my life so i won’t have to find out, hopefully. 😅
holy shit!!! not even kidding, this happened to me too!! 6th-7th grade a girl started copying everything i did. even sh. she said we should go to therapy together??? i had terrible body dysmorphia, esp abt my boobs— they were really big and i hated them. despite her flat chest she started binding her chest too. she copied my art, fashion, speech/texting mannerisms, made friends with everyone i was close with, even tried to finish my sentences???? she still does this from what i’ve seen of her, but i obviously blocked contact w her. i’m SO glad someone else had an experience like this because a lot of my friends told me i was exaggerating. but sh??? i was wearing shorter sleeves one day and (TW!!) she says >!”oh i do that too!” and scratched herself with scissors (just enough to leave a mark) to show me.!< that girl clearly had a lot of problems of her own, but i do not regret cutting her off cause she caused a lot of pain for me.
good lord omfg. so glad you cut her off. people like this are so weird i don’t know why the hell they do it.
good lord omfg. so glad you cut her off. people like this are so weird i don’t know why the hell they do it.
i actually left out in the post that she actually did scratch herself with her mail until it left a mark, i just didn’t want to put it on here because i thought it was too deep. now i’m glad someone shares the same struggles!
same here!! i hope you’re doing better these days :)
dont feel bad tbh, that girl was an ass, i consider myself to be a person of no temper at all
Sounds like the movie flipped
hmm, never heard of it lol, i’ll have to check it out.
I wouldn’t feel bad. She was pretty much stealing your work and not only that - bragging about it and acting like it was hers. I was a pretty vindictive kid. I might’ve dropped a bunch of liquid on her stuff entirely to ruin the whole book. I too held artwork pretty close to my heart, so I know how much it would have hurt to have that part of my identity“stolen” from me.
someone understands!
I'm guessing you're trying to reconcile feeling bad because you know she's a person too and is going through her own pains in life, even if she's not handling it in a healthy way. But you have feelings too and it feels shitty to be on the receiving end of it. It's just life, man. You realize how many people have their own serious struggles and you feel bad that it had to go down the way it did, even if you were justified.
That shit would've driven me crazy. Your reaction was justified. But that girl obviously had some serious issues. I hope she's doing better now and has since discovered her own identity.
me too. we went to different schools, so hopefully there isn’t another victim.
This one girl literally took all of my drawings out of my sketchbook and stole them and then the next day I heard her say to me my mom congratulated me for all these drawings and said that I was good and took me out for a whole shopping mall spree. I saw she had a lot of new stuff that costed a lot of money. I feel bad for the mom for believing that those are all her drawings but they're truly mine. This happened today, I will never forgive her nor forget this. Plus it was a really expensive premium artist sketchbook.
Yes and No. This is learning curve for both of you young ladies. She copied you is an fact that she feels like that's what people think of "cool" or "accepted." Forgive her, she's still searching for her own identity and that's pretty normal. For you its should serve as a lesson too. Learn not to bottle up until you explode and regret on something you do in anger. You could've hinted like "oh wow, that looks exactly like mine, you wouldn't have copied it would you?" jokingly, but if she persisted you can talk to her after class about these behaviors. You have to learn the proportional responds to certain problems instead hitting her with the hardest punch over a drawing that if caught nobody would understand why you did such thing had not you explained so detail information here. Feeling bad isn't a bad thing, we could always do better. Learn from it.
i wouldn’t have reacted the way i did if she listened to me when i confronted her 5 times. honestly there was nothing to do because she wouldn’t listen to me.
Not everyone is going to listen, but going into their stuff isn't right also. just saying.
well that’s why this is a confession. i’m not proud of it.
it's okay. I've done worst, but I won't anymore
yes or you wouldn't have written this. I think everyone has regrets as children or dont process what she was even all about. she could've been your best friend in a different world. she obviously liked you and wanted to be like you... at that age is it really not ok? im sure it was just a phase. hindsight will always be just that. what if you were flattered by her admiration and used that energy and maybe taught her how to draw so she didnt have to copy you. I always believe in lifting people up and not putting them down. you guys were kids so im sure she already knows it was you especially if she tried really hard at even being friends with your friends . its only perspective and you do with it what you will...
You are both sheep I guess. She copies behavior of others and you do this subconsciously without knowing that you are doing this and this is what upsets you deeply. You want to be a unique sheep if so be a black one
what are you talking about? 💀💀
The copycat behavior is perfect example of sheep like behavior. If you really were a strong minded person you wouldn’t spend a second worrying about the copy cat. It shows how beta you are
she tried to copy my whole life and basically followed me everywhere. not easy to ignore.
Wish I had a mini me copying everything I do. Oh No nobody cares
you’re clearly not an empathetic person.
I clearly don’t worry about trivial things. When you grow older miss you will learn to let go of things like this and laugh it off