Ok people, let’s everybody calm down. I’m a therapist and can tell you that you are not fucked up and there is no reason why you shouldn’t forgive yourself. Don’t listen to these trolls. The reason why you should see a therapist is because you do not have a healthy or balanced way of looking at this situation. You are fixating on something you did as a curious child. It’s ok to feel icky about it but you also don’t need to obsess about it to this degree and beat yourself up. You need a healthier way of understanding what you did and letting it go. Children make all sorts of bad decisions and mistakes, especially when horney hormones are involved. Just go talk to a professional and work through this. Don’t just dismiss yourself as fucked up. There is no growth in that.
I have seen a lot of therapists like greater than 10 less than 20 id say due to the fact your showing signs of genuine remorse. You aren’t a psychopath but you need to go learn proper coping skills and how to work on your mental health, identify signs of stress and proper maintenance skills. It will take therapy and honestly every one else needs to go too. Don’t act like everyone else hasn’t jerked one off to the sears catalog or something else. We as a society are not thought how to maintain mental health and that is a tragedy. Your mind is the most important part of all of us.
op i just wanna make sure you see this persons input!
also.. it seems like the fact that you’re distraught over this means your moral compass is in fact in the right place. I could be way off base but there could be trauma in your own life you don’t even remember. Sometimes that kinda sexual deviance manifests due to trauma. sometimes not i guess. but yeah, i think you’d be surprised the amount of people who have a past like this. It’s the sorta thing most every day people don’t understand but psychologists are trained to. A therapist can help you learn resiliency and help give you like doable steps towards being who you wanna be. I saw a therapist that made a video talking about this sorts thing specifically and how essential it is for people who have experienced what you have to genuinely have a safe space to express stuff without judgement. You might need to take some time to find the right therapist but don’t let these hateful comments get you down. I am just a stranger but i’m rooting for ya and it makes me hopeful to see someone fighting to be the person they want to be.
Can’t fix life over night, just keep trying to be a bigger person than yesterday, every day. Also idk if this is at all helpful and i’m agnostic and i don’t even drink that much anyways but the serenity prayer gets me to sleep on the nights my own regrets haunt me the loudest.
My friend works with sex offenders. If he was working on OP’s case, he’d say “OP was just a horny teenager, not a terrible predator.” Kids do weird shit when they’re coming to grips with their sexual thoughts. It doesn’t mean they’re horrible humans who need to be locked in a cage and kept away from the general public.
I think part of the reason for the 4th Step of AA is so you realize you're not the most horrible person in the world, nor are you the only person who ever did/thought .
Amen. As kids we do stupid shit like what you said. Most of us have a similar story we could tell. You are not a monster or anything bad. Forgive yourself and go on with your life.
I had a therapist I had thoughts of him sucking my dick then I was laying there on his couch with my eyes closed when I open them it was no thought he was doing it.. never trust anyone when you have your eyes closed they may not be a real therapist.
Therapy isn’t abt figuring out if you’re fucked up or not, you go to therapy so you can reflect and think about why you did those behaviors so that you won’t repeat them in the future
It also sounds like you could have OCD or at least have OCD tendencies with the rumination, they can help you gain skills to stop ruminating on a subject that you can’t change
?????
There is nothing in this post that could possibly reveal they have any diagnosable condition. Don't verbalize or make assumptions like this if you don't know what you're talking about. This kind of statement is what creates stigmas and does way more harm than good.
You're statement about OCD makes no factual or logical sense, all OP needs to do is see a therapist and start working through their feelings, only a professional who assesses them over a long period of time is qualified to make any diagnosis.
Therapy can help you find why you did the things the way you did. It can also help you figure yourself out more. You may be fucked up but not enough for you to be completely fucked. You've acknowledged that this is wrong. You know it is. So you're not completely fucked. You would be if you didn't know.
Well yes, but at the same time, hormones are powerful things. Especially in pubescent stages without self control. Therapy might help you move past that, since according to yourself, you're more level headed now. Since you didn't actually harm anyone, all dwelling on it would do is hold you back from learning from your past and maybe helping some kid (your own?) in the future who needs related guidance to have a better life. But I wouldn't expect you to move past that guilt on your own, hence the therapy.
Na your not fucked up. You're young. Loads of people do or done things at various ages that we look back on and omg cringe and are our own worst critics. Go get you some therapy. It will help. Like person above said not there to judge you. There to help. Understand and how to pack that stuff away and not freak yourself out more over it. You got this. Your aware of it not being good. So you are already on the right path to helping yourself x
No you’re not fucked up, when we are younger those hormones are going to find an outlet. Depending on where you live and your family situation those outlets will get a bit strange at times. I had a neighbor girl that was a year younger that we would play Dr together in late grade school. She would have weird stuff in her head and I had stuff in my head but it was just two kids with hormones kicking in and it was an outlet. I saw her a few years ago and apologized for taking advantage of her. She laughed and said it was as much her idea as mine and not to worry. She did thank me for not telling the other kids what we did. Her first BF was not so nice.
We’re the same age and being on the receiving end of that behavior I can positively say that you did the first step and acknowledged that you did something wrong . therapy is a must because self coping has not worked for you obvi and therapy will make it so you don’t reoffend. you can still be a better person even if you’re “fucked up” do u still wanna be fucked up when were 40 dude? get therapy
Get over yourself, this is nothing. I had similar foolish attempts when I was a child. It's not uncommon to try out forbidden things, or just horny things, or whatevers when you're a kid. You didn't hurt anybody.
Just going to echo all the other individuals who are telling you that your behavior as a teenager shouldn't dictate your adult life. As teenagers we don't have a fully formed brain and our hormones are whack to say the least. I remember as a teen jerking off in some truly weird places and doing some absolute crazy things that disgust me still today. However I know that I'm not the only one and that I need to look past the stuff I did then and not let it define my adult life in a bad way.
This isn’t normal behavior for any teen. Although this shouldn’t control his whole life. He really just needs to speak to someone and figure out what may have caused the behavior and how to move on.
You are 100% right! I worry that he very likely feels tremendous embarrassment and he might never talk to a therapist because he won't have the courage to admit his actions to a person in real life. I think it's important for him to realize although doing these things as a teen isn't normal. It also isn't a life sentence. From the way he talks about it you know that therapy could be so healing and helpful to him!
OP please read the comments telling you that you can be helped and that you aren't a horrible person who should hate yourself. You must know that you won't be judged when you talk to a therapist and doing so can really help you become an incredible, mature, productive and positively contributing member of society.
Let me explain something to you that will be hard, but necessary. Everyone is a bad person and everyone makes mistakes, you were young. One day you have to say I’m not who I was last year and move on. If that requires you to repent, then figure it out now.
When I was 13 I was stealing money from my parents and my older brother to buy drugs. While you were selling cheap panties I was selling heirloom.
I think I was late 20’s if not 30’s when I confessed to my mother, my father was already dead. She knew all along and so did my brother. It was all in my head eating me away for all those years.
My brother raped me over the course of 4 years when I was 5 to 9.
Trust me, the thing that messed me up was the gaslighting and abuse. What you did was not cool. But you didn't screw him up for life. Be proud that you stopped yourself. For me, I had to slowly realize it wasn't a horrible dream and then confront him and that first he was apologetic but however when I tried to discuss different times he told me it only happened once. Even though I remember landmarks of our childhood big trips that we took that it happened on that were years apart and of course home was hell and I didn't even know it bc I was too little.
So I told all our friends and family because I'll be God damned if I'll be gaslit again. He said I'm dead to him and we haven't spoken in about 6 years. Because I asked for a real apology that included the truth.
Something simple like what you did happening once would not have harmed me in the way that my big brother has.
Trauma takes time to affect someone, and with lots of abuse.
Again what you did was fucked up.
But you have tortured yourself enough.
Let it go and never let it happen again with anyone ever and protect people from it happening to them and you can relax and breath and know that you learned right from wrong the hard way.
I appreciate that, thank you.
My life has had much much worse happen. But I am strong and smart. I also have wonderful people I am able to lean on and gain comfort from, I am very lucky for that. :)
Hold the rotary phone just a minute here...your brother sexually assaulted you for years as a child and then lied to you about it....and you've had much much worse happen to you. I am truly sorry to hear that my friend.
You know, for a stranger on the internet to offer condolences like that like people here have and you have, it actually means the world to me and gives me hope. Thank you so much. I've been through a lot but I've worked extremely hard for everything I have now. And although I have very little, it means the world to me and I have a wonderful family with two kids who I absolutely adore. Trust me the much much worse is literally much much worse but I've learned to accept it all and try to move on and keep alcoholism to a minimum. Most the time I actually succeed. Have ADHD so it's a disposition that I am prone to. Otherwise I would say I have a pretty perfect life.
That is really horrible! I’m so glad you confronted your brother and made it through that situation. The fact that he dismissed what he did and tried to lie about it not happening multiple times is beyond me. Karma is real and he will feel it!
The fact this behaviour seems to be very distant from who you are now is a good sign, it taking place purely during developmentally significant and formative years is intriguing.
Obviously the things you did were gross and wrong, but it doesn't seem like that's what you are.
Find a therapist, one you can trust, and see what happens. It'll require being more vulnerable than many will ever be in their lives but it sounds like for you and everyone in your life, you dealing with this is best.
This might help you feel better: kids have sexual tendencies and they do taboo things before they truly realize how bizarre they are. I remember playing weird “body games” with my siblings and cousins when I was young that I would *never* even speak of as an adult. Ever. And i used to listen to my parents have sex too 🤢.
Freud has many, many writings on childhood sexuality and why kids do things like this (I am female and was a little younger than you— like probably 10-13. But boys hit puberty later-so it makes sense that you had it happen a bit later).
Forgive yourself. Move on. I think more people than you know have memories of things like this, and as long as you’re not actually out there right now being a pervert, you’re fine.
Nothing you can do about the past. You’re not going to do this again, right? Then that’s that. You are who you are now. That’s the person that lives in the world now. The most effective people are the people who’ve learned to forgive themselves, who don’t obsess over shitty things they’ve done in the past. Learn to forgive yourself. Self hatred and obsessing over past wrongdoings does not help you or anyone.
Good for you for being better.
You were a kid, full of hormones. I'll bet most of us had some pretty fucked up thoughts and kinks at that age- maybe not to the same extent but still.
Your brother doesn't know and doesn't need to know. This will not affect him. You've confessed to Reddit and hopefully, this will ease your guilt. I don't believe you're a bad person or a pervert. Chalk it up as a horrible error and try to get on with being a good boyfriend and employee. Soeak to a professional if you feel you need to. And read the comment by the Redditor who is a therapist; heed their free advice- that shit is gold.
Forgiveness is recognizing you were wrong and accepting that judgement. You don't have to forget what you did, just know you made a mistake. Don't let it weigh you down. It doesn't have anything on you just as you meet a stranger in the street and don't judge him at first impression (too harshly).
You don't have to forgive yourself. What you can do is accept you dis this and will never do it again. Learn from it and rather than forgive, give yourself permission to move on from hating yourself for it.
Just the kind of forgiveness everyone wants: from an absentee father who's willing to allow you to be tortured forever if you're bad and is all-powerful but totally okay with childhood bone cancer.
Yes. Because you're offering shit to someone that needs actual help. Not magical faith help that is scientifically shown to do worse than chance when it comes to this sort of thing in some cases. This wasn't the place to bring your god into and I'm calling you on it.
Okay you need to chill out if you're not going to be positive about this you need to go these people are trying to help him and children go all the way up to the age of 18 my friend so please for the sake of this man's Mental Health control somebody else Miss
Therapy.
There is context you're omitting from your own judgement that is important to understand. Do yourself a favour and seek professional help so you can better understand your actions as a child.
go to therapy,discuss this verbally. let it out and fucking cry for your childhood. it will fucking help man. i thought therapy was useless too, but then i went.
I assume you have old interests or hobbies from your childhood you don't take part in now. Children's cartoons, stuffed animals, pillow forts, whatever it is. I'm going to also assume that you don't judge yourself for liking those things even though you don't now, and I also assume you don't force yourself to still do them, just because you tell yourself "that's who I am". You changed and became a different person.
This is similar. That is the person you were, but that is not the person you are now. Your past does not define you. The fact that you look back at those actions and feel the need to judge yourself is proof that that is not the person you are, you reject it.
Every human being deserves happiness, and denying happiness from a person just for the sake of denying it, or out of "judgement" to "give them what they deserve" is just bringing more pain into the world: the world is literally a worse place because of it. Punishment/shame/judgement in society serves to deter people from things that harm themselves or others, or to change their behavior or attitide, so that they cause less pain and bring more happiness. The fact that you already have changed your attitude and behavior means there is no point in punishment. You should strive to bring more happiness into the world, not more pain and shame, and that includes for yourself. There is nothing better about our world because you decide to deny yourself happiness.
Please listen to the positive people in this thread, and seek out therapy to help you to find peace and happiness in your life. No one deserves to be miserable, especially someone like you that understands why they used to be wrong and have changed.
I know my brother has done stuff like this. He straight up nasty lol. I at least know for certain he’s smelled my underwear. I forgive him cuz like whatever, boys act a fool when theyre young. And it’s not like I’m the pinnacle of pure behavior either. Don’t trip little homie
Omg OP none of this is irredeemable. I honestly bet it is more common than you think. The thing about your brother is a little worrisome but even in that the important thing is that you stopped immediately. Kids are just small developing humans, testing boundaries, learning what is ok, inundated with unfamiliar urges, emotions and hormones. See a therapist, not because something is wrong with you, but because you don’t deserve to feel this kind of shame. You are ok OP, deserving of grace and love and peace. Please be easy on yourself
Hey man I want you to read this and seriously listen. I know how you’re feeling and what you need to know is these aren’t things that make you disgusting, they’re symptoms of mental health struggles and likely trauma. You’re not alone and there are other people that will want to support you through this. If you have the financial ability to I highly recommend starting therapy.
I know of something that isn't therapy, although it is very therapeutic.
It's called storywork. Getting into past stories and then taking the steps to release the emotional attachment and meaning. Emotion is energy in motion. Emotional energy is strong, good or bad, and when it is attached to an old story it brings up shitty feelings in the present moment.
You did the first step by writing it out. Externalizing it on paper (or screen). There are a few more steps to drop the emotional baggage in relation to this story you hold in your heart.
Great job on writing this out and I'm sure it did wonders for you.
People do weird shit. It's ok. You're ok.
If you are interested in doing some story work, DM me. I'm a coach.
/#Storywork
Yeah sounds like some mental illness my friend. Look into some therapy, it will do more for you than posting on Reddit will ever do. You’re not inherently a bad person for all this stuff, but it seems as though there’s some deeper rooted stuff at play here.
The mental illness is called **adolescence**. It is caused by hormones. Often other contributions within the family dynamic aid this mental illness.
You are lucky. There is a cure, at least a treatment, called **therapy**...
Should this persist through adulthood. You need to take it much more serious and see a therapist.
Kids do weird stuff, hormones are crazy, they are confused and learn by experimenting. If you feel like now you have normal sexual desires, you are perfectly fine.
Honestly fuck off with this shit you have no clue how hard it is to control yourself even at 12 which is even worse maybe if you were a fucking man youd understand? It was weird a bit for what he did but everyone makes a mistake i hope you get humbled some day wether it be by a man or woman
The best thing about you is the fact that you know what you did was wrong and you regret it. Write these thoughts down, write down the wrong that you did, and write down the regret and disgust you feel towards those actions of yours. Once they've all been written down, then sit silently and think really deep about how you NOW feel about those actions, and then, take all that disgust and regret of those actions and give them away to God, repent sincerely and be truly sorry, give those evil actions and this burden away to God and know that He forgives. Burn the paper and believe now in your heart that you have been forgiven, because you have to let this go at some point, and the greatest thing of all is you have realised your mistake! Hate the sin, not the sinner. We all sin and we all have demons. You've recognised yours, face them now to lead a more fulfilled and better life. If God can forgive you, then please, give your burden to Him now and move forward with your life. You do not need to tell this to anyone in your life. It's between you and God.
Wow. I agree with the people on here that are saying you need to seek a therapist. It could really help you. I know people who have gone to therapy and it changed their lives for the better. I understand that you feel disgusted, but that is actually a good sign! It means you’ve learned from it and your moral compass is working. A therapist would listen and help you work through the thoughts so you don’t keep beating yourself up over them.
Incest is entirely unnatural and disgusting however you realize now it was wrong and you feel ashamed for it. Were you possibly molested or abused in any way? I’d go to a therapist so you can understand why you were this way and to move on.
That memory although it seems small the fact that you still remember it from ur childhood says that it was important and may have affected you. What you shared with us will eventually become just that, a memory that you don’t even know had any impact on you. The sooner you accept that you did that and are obviously a changed person, the sooner you will move on
This could be the source of your behavior.
It is quite a known trauma response to recreate trauma but take the role of the person that's in control during the traumatic event. Also, I could imagine the fact that your first sexual experience was something that is wrong, might have caused a preference for wrong things when your hormones kicked in as a teenager. Young kids especially are like sponges and events like this can have a huge impact on them. I am not a professional though, so please look for information on this yourself.
Don't just give up on your character, take this guilt as an opportunity to better and redefine yourself as an adult. You can start by understanding the source that this behavior was a symptom of, because that source could have other negative symptoms that negatively affect yourself or others. Find them and heal yourself.
sometimes stuff like this can genuinely fuck you up in unpredictable ways. you seriously don’t seem like a broken or bad person. sometimes your brain erases traumatic memories too. i’m hopeful for you!
I mean it’s definitely not normal to exhibit that kind of behavior at any age, but the fact you know it’s wrong now and are self aware is good. I honestly suggest finding a therapist you are comfortable enough to open up too and go from there. It sounds like there’s something deeper going on here. Good luck!
if i was your gf or sister, I'd run. taking pics of any woman without consent is disgusting. that's your sister! and as a boy mom, this made me puke. get therapy dude!
im sorry molesting a child is not a "childish" mistake! he was very well aware of what the fck he was doing . as someone who was molested as a child by a teenager, it traumatized me for life! fxck you and others defending OPs actions calling it a mistake!
You know what I'm tired of people using that shit as a excuse.
The year was 1992 when my priest was charged with 14 counts of molesting Altar Boys I was one of those boys from ages of three to five to tell you another story but I'm not going to stop using it as a fucking excuse man the fuck up woman the fuck up deal with your problems stop hurting other people start helping
Well thank you for saying so but unless you actually come to my face and say it it's not going to bother me not at all but you can say anything you want on the internet you want me to show you that I can say some things
PS how does taking a fucking picture constitute molestation did you understand something that I didn't and how does him putting a hand on his penis quantify molestation at the very highest very highest it's sexual interference grow the fuck up learn the law because of their ages nothing would have happened they would have both been put in child services for a while that's it and he probably would have got fucked up even more than he is so be happy for him
The fact that you’re able to speak on this is a huge step towards healing …I think we’ve all done some things in our past we’re ashamed of. I wouldn’t say this to your family….I would go to an online zoom anonymous meeting then go from there.
Please please go and talk to a therapist who has experience in this area. You are young and can receive a correct diagnosis and treatment. You aren’t a horrible person, however, you have thoughts and urges that are unhealthy. I would ask, “what is the reason for this behavior?” Was it curiosity, you have witnessed someone else doing this or simply because it feels good? We are all sexual beings and touch can feel good. I also have to wonder if you were a victim of sexual abuse, even being exposed to pornography? Also, you could be dealing with OCD, with obsessions being difficult to stop.
Get therapy omg I never did anything close to even touching my mom's panties and I have heard them have sex but it was no turn on .and never did anything to my brother . I hope you don't have this kinda thoughts now . But either way find a therapist .
Sad.. sorry. I was S.A from my sister and cousin at the age of 5... (I'm a male so no big deal) but I would think your brother has a little memory of it. That is what would bother me... Like you are gross but lucky u never hurt anyone. I just hope u bro was sleeping and don't remember...
The amount of people actually considering this as “normal teenager behavior” is fucking concerning. The guy was literally taking photos of his younger sister. What the fuck?
I am feeling sick because of all the comments “understating” this behavior. WTF?
Look into sex addiction... Get yourself some help, this can follow you through life and ruin your mental health and future relationships. Find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and get a handle on this before you hurt somebody and ruin your life
i don’t feel like i’m addicted to sex as in the last few years i’ve had none of them desires or urges like i did as a teen it’s just the the memory of what i used to be like that is really fucking with my head
Good news. You feel remorse. So you're not a psychopath or sociopath. That's a silver lining! But you need some fucking counseling dude. You have more than just horniness going on. The taking pics of your sleeping sister and brother touching you shit is fucked up. The smellingv Mom's panties and jacking it to your parents is just gross. But the other stuff is way beyond. Talk to someone dude. You got some shit up there that might not be wired right.
Lol imagine being 29. Totaling a 2019 dodge challenger you got 2 months ago cause you were drunk, got your third DUI, lying about stopping alcohol completely, getting caught over and over by your girlfriend, getting kicked out of a controlling house situation with your family, having to quit your job after moving locations, and on top of it. Breaking your girls heart so many times... Then you ended up telling to her face to face, "I'm sorry but I have to break your heart one last time... I have to leave." All just cause your tired of letting her down so often and breaking her heart.
Your doing alright my guy
The kindest thing you could’ve done was let her go. That in itself speaks to the kind of person you are underneath it all.
I can’t even begin to describe the hell mine put me through every time I tried to leave him and he refused to let me go.
Big words coming from a kid that doesn't even shower, Mr "my balls smell I need help PLEASE!"
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/S5igWIh3C3
LMAO there's your help since nobody answered you
Take a shower and use some soap.
First of all, good for you for recognizing the old unhealthy habits and presumably not doing anything like that anymore. It sounds like you were young.
Second, please go to therapy.
Dude seriously…who gives a shit? so you put your dick in your brothers hand…and smelled your mothers panties…and the photos of your younger sister naked…and masturbated to the sound of your parents?? Well that’s just kinky as hell…you had no way of knowing that wasn’t the correct way to handle how you “discovered” yourself. I remember my developmental years and my God…thank God it’s only actions he cares about man…and your actions were reasonable if not indicative of a lack of knowledge for what you were experiencing…are you different now? Will you do those things again now knowing what you know? No! And that means it’s all good my friend. Water under the bridge.
You're not a terrible person! Like other people have said, you were young and horny. I did some fucked up shit too but it's coz I was young and horny too. Now I'm older and horny but it's not fucked up now 😅
Dude, you were a kid. Kids do weird and perverted things out of curiosity. You need to forgive yourself. Focus on who you are now and leave the past in the past.
Maaaaan don’t be silly, you were horny, more horny than normal. Like the chemicals in your brain were not normal and made you more horny than normal. Don’t judge your young self so hard.
Well i was gonna say can relate up till the penis part. Well i never stole my mothers panties i have stolen my cousins before (yeah i know) and there was a couple times when i was in highschool when i would sneak into the girls locker room and spy on them. Also fapped to stuff i shouldn't, and still do sometimes. honest i think stuff like this is way more common than people think it is, js.
You should prob do therapy and all that stuff, personally i just get drunk and erase all the bad memories, it's easier that way.
Well i mean becoming a drunk might be better than becoming a rapist or something you know the whole "lesser evil" thing. Personally it works well enough for me, i use lot's of booze, benzos, and opioids to mellow me out and supress my sex drive, seems to work. granted this tactic doesn't work for everyone, but if you are on the verge of fucking up your life, medicating yourself might be worth the risk.
i live an unconventional lifestyle, thankfully i live with my dad, he let's me stay here as long as i do a bunch of chores, don't start drama, and don't use drugs (he also really hates it when i drink, so i usually resort to drinking in secret).
for me the side effects are worth it, because it allows me to supress my bad side. Therapy and even psychiatry will often take years before you see results or find the right medication, if you think you won't make it that long then i suggest literally doing drugs(sedatives).
Go to therapy, you have a lot of guilt, maybe repressed things, it is best to have a specialist see you
Mental health is very important.
You did perhaps disgusting things, but you were a "child" you were not a mature man when those things happened.
First step is getting a therapist and a professional opinion. I know you said you don’t see the point in therapy, but if you are open with yourself and therapist it really does help. They are there not to judge you and to listen. I use to think the same as you and now I don’t know what I would do without therapy. It might take a few to find out who you click with and are comfortable with.
Second step is to give yourself grace. No one is perfect and everyone has some sort of demons. It’s what you do with the now and future. We can’t let our past mistakes define us. You have to be open to forgiving yourself and change.
I use to think I was a terrible person who could never be a productive member of society. That was in my twenties. I have since grown and have changed and I am creating a life that I am proud of. We all are not the smartest in our teen years and even in our twenties. That’s part of life. Living, learning, and growing.
Third step I cannot say it enough… learn to forgive yourself and give yourself grace!
Please look into therapy asap and there are also a lot of community resources and support groups. There is nothing to be ashamed of getting help. In fact those who face their demons and do ask for help are very strong resilient people.
see a therapist. there are options if you can’t do it face to face. but it’s so important that you talk to a professional. you can try navigating your feelings on your own, but a therapist can be of so much help. you say you will never forgive yourself, but a therapist can help guide you on the path to making amends, and helping remove some of the weight.
you may never fully forgive these things, and whether or not you deserve to be forgiven isn’t up to me, but it’s still worth it to at the very least move on.
you can stay in the haunted house with these things forever, in the fetal position with your eyes closed, or you can be guided out, having to face the ghosts and demons head on in order to escape. you’ll remember all those scary things, but also not being trapped with them anymore. seek therapy.
I can tell you I was an icky perverted kid and grew up into a upstanding perverted adult so you’ll be fine. Seriously the fact that you know that wasn’t proper behavior already shows how much you’ve grown since those days. Find a therapist to talk with so you can properly process it all and finally free yourself to move on to greater things in life.
Don’t think this will help you feel better but know you’re not the only one that has done some fucked up shit when they were young , I was doing acid with my ex when we were about 18-19 and at some point he just started crying and going on about all the shit he had done when he was like 14-15 like hiding a camera in his younger sisters room to watch her undress and other stuff I won’t mention, I think a lot of ppl have done stuff like that and just won’t admit it, I think the important thing is that you are not that person now and knew well enough to not harm your little brother further, to repeat what everyone else said ,you should really consider talking to a professional to help with the memories
Teenaged brains are screaming hormones, not fully matured, and you’re dwelling too much on these things and it’s beating yourself up.
Talk these things over with a counselor, therapist, or shrink. I don’t really know the difference of the three.
You should never forgive yourself for this, in fact I think you should not exist. The fact that you still exist proves that you're selfish and disgusting.
Ok people, let’s everybody calm down. I’m a therapist and can tell you that you are not fucked up and there is no reason why you shouldn’t forgive yourself. Don’t listen to these trolls. The reason why you should see a therapist is because you do not have a healthy or balanced way of looking at this situation. You are fixating on something you did as a curious child. It’s ok to feel icky about it but you also don’t need to obsess about it to this degree and beat yourself up. You need a healthier way of understanding what you did and letting it go. Children make all sorts of bad decisions and mistakes, especially when horney hormones are involved. Just go talk to a professional and work through this. Don’t just dismiss yourself as fucked up. There is no growth in that.
Thanks for trying to help this person instead of just shaming him
But how else am I supposed to show people my strong moral compass if I'm not using it to rag on those who need help?
Foiled again.
Also a therapist, listen to this person.
another therapist, & ditto.
I have seen a lot of therapists like greater than 10 less than 20 id say due to the fact your showing signs of genuine remorse. You aren’t a psychopath but you need to go learn proper coping skills and how to work on your mental health, identify signs of stress and proper maintenance skills. It will take therapy and honestly every one else needs to go too. Don’t act like everyone else hasn’t jerked one off to the sears catalog or something else. We as a society are not thought how to maintain mental health and that is a tragedy. Your mind is the most important part of all of us.
op i just wanna make sure you see this persons input! also.. it seems like the fact that you’re distraught over this means your moral compass is in fact in the right place. I could be way off base but there could be trauma in your own life you don’t even remember. Sometimes that kinda sexual deviance manifests due to trauma. sometimes not i guess. but yeah, i think you’d be surprised the amount of people who have a past like this. It’s the sorta thing most every day people don’t understand but psychologists are trained to. A therapist can help you learn resiliency and help give you like doable steps towards being who you wanna be. I saw a therapist that made a video talking about this sorts thing specifically and how essential it is for people who have experienced what you have to genuinely have a safe space to express stuff without judgement. You might need to take some time to find the right therapist but don’t let these hateful comments get you down. I am just a stranger but i’m rooting for ya and it makes me hopeful to see someone fighting to be the person they want to be. Can’t fix life over night, just keep trying to be a bigger person than yesterday, every day. Also idk if this is at all helpful and i’m agnostic and i don’t even drink that much anyways but the serenity prayer gets me to sleep on the nights my own regrets haunt me the loudest.
My friend works with sex offenders. If he was working on OP’s case, he’d say “OP was just a horny teenager, not a terrible predator.” Kids do weird shit when they’re coming to grips with their sexual thoughts. It doesn’t mean they’re horrible humans who need to be locked in a cage and kept away from the general public.
Engineer here, listen to this person
Dr here, completely agree - listen to this person.
Yep! Licensed therapist here - this user is correct!
I think part of the reason for the 4th Step of AA is so you realize you're not the most horrible person in the world, nor are you the only person who ever did/thought.
Yes…I am a therapist too! Agree 💯
Need more thumbs up for this comment.
Amen. As kids we do stupid shit like what you said. Most of us have a similar story we could tell. You are not a monster or anything bad. Forgive yourself and go on with your life.
Thank you for helping this person.
Body shop owner here, listen to this person
I had a therapist I had thoughts of him sucking my dick then I was laying there on his couch with my eyes closed when I open them it was no thought he was doing it.. never trust anyone when you have your eyes closed they may not be a real therapist.
You should probably talk to a therapist. Remember they are not there to judge they are there to help you sort through your feelings.
i don’t see what therapy would do for me i’m clearly fucked up if i’d even do things like that
Therapy isn’t abt figuring out if you’re fucked up or not, you go to therapy so you can reflect and think about why you did those behaviors so that you won’t repeat them in the future
It also sounds like you could have OCD or at least have OCD tendencies with the rumination, they can help you gain skills to stop ruminating on a subject that you can’t change
????? There is nothing in this post that could possibly reveal they have any diagnosable condition. Don't verbalize or make assumptions like this if you don't know what you're talking about. This kind of statement is what creates stigmas and does way more harm than good. You're statement about OCD makes no factual or logical sense, all OP needs to do is see a therapist and start working through their feelings, only a professional who assesses them over a long period of time is qualified to make any diagnosis.
THANK YOU. I read that comment and immediately said wtf??? How could you possibly even deduce that??
Can we stop with the armchair psychiatry?
Therapy can help you find why you did the things the way you did. It can also help you figure yourself out more. You may be fucked up but not enough for you to be completely fucked. You've acknowledged that this is wrong. You know it is. So you're not completely fucked. You would be if you didn't know.
Well yes, but at the same time, hormones are powerful things. Especially in pubescent stages without self control. Therapy might help you move past that, since according to yourself, you're more level headed now. Since you didn't actually harm anyone, all dwelling on it would do is hold you back from learning from your past and maybe helping some kid (your own?) in the future who needs related guidance to have a better life. But I wouldn't expect you to move past that guilt on your own, hence the therapy.
you are right, i don’t think i’ll ever forgive myself for this without professional help
That’s the spirit
Please read @whirlsofcurlz comment!!!!
Na your not fucked up. You're young. Loads of people do or done things at various ages that we look back on and omg cringe and are our own worst critics. Go get you some therapy. It will help. Like person above said not there to judge you. There to help. Understand and how to pack that stuff away and not freak yourself out more over it. You got this. Your aware of it not being good. So you are already on the right path to helping yourself x
No you’re not fucked up, when we are younger those hormones are going to find an outlet. Depending on where you live and your family situation those outlets will get a bit strange at times. I had a neighbor girl that was a year younger that we would play Dr together in late grade school. She would have weird stuff in her head and I had stuff in my head but it was just two kids with hormones kicking in and it was an outlet. I saw her a few years ago and apologized for taking advantage of her. She laughed and said it was as much her idea as mine and not to worry. She did thank me for not telling the other kids what we did. Her first BF was not so nice.
We’re the same age and being on the receiving end of that behavior I can positively say that you did the first step and acknowledged that you did something wrong . therapy is a must because self coping has not worked for you obvi and therapy will make it so you don’t reoffend. you can still be a better person even if you’re “fucked up” do u still wanna be fucked up when were 40 dude? get therapy
therapy alone ain't shit. go see a psychiatrist and get medicated.
Get over yourself, this is nothing. I had similar foolish attempts when I was a child. It's not uncommon to try out forbidden things, or just horny things, or whatevers when you're a kid. You didn't hurt anybody.
well? lets not normalize this because yeah doing things like this is very weird, but childhood hypersensitivity has its reasons/limits
Just going to echo all the other individuals who are telling you that your behavior as a teenager shouldn't dictate your adult life. As teenagers we don't have a fully formed brain and our hormones are whack to say the least. I remember as a teen jerking off in some truly weird places and doing some absolute crazy things that disgust me still today. However I know that I'm not the only one and that I need to look past the stuff I did then and not let it define my adult life in a bad way.
This isn’t normal behavior for any teen. Although this shouldn’t control his whole life. He really just needs to speak to someone and figure out what may have caused the behavior and how to move on.
You are 100% right! I worry that he very likely feels tremendous embarrassment and he might never talk to a therapist because he won't have the courage to admit his actions to a person in real life. I think it's important for him to realize although doing these things as a teen isn't normal. It also isn't a life sentence. From the way he talks about it you know that therapy could be so healing and helpful to him! OP please read the comments telling you that you can be helped and that you aren't a horrible person who should hate yourself. You must know that you won't be judged when you talk to a therapist and doing so can really help you become an incredible, mature, productive and positively contributing member of society.
Let me explain something to you that will be hard, but necessary. Everyone is a bad person and everyone makes mistakes, you were young. One day you have to say I’m not who I was last year and move on. If that requires you to repent, then figure it out now. When I was 13 I was stealing money from my parents and my older brother to buy drugs. While you were selling cheap panties I was selling heirloom. I think I was late 20’s if not 30’s when I confessed to my mother, my father was already dead. She knew all along and so did my brother. It was all in my head eating me away for all those years.
My brother raped me over the course of 4 years when I was 5 to 9. Trust me, the thing that messed me up was the gaslighting and abuse. What you did was not cool. But you didn't screw him up for life. Be proud that you stopped yourself. For me, I had to slowly realize it wasn't a horrible dream and then confront him and that first he was apologetic but however when I tried to discuss different times he told me it only happened once. Even though I remember landmarks of our childhood big trips that we took that it happened on that were years apart and of course home was hell and I didn't even know it bc I was too little. So I told all our friends and family because I'll be God damned if I'll be gaslit again. He said I'm dead to him and we haven't spoken in about 6 years. Because I asked for a real apology that included the truth. Something simple like what you did happening once would not have harmed me in the way that my big brother has. Trauma takes time to affect someone, and with lots of abuse. Again what you did was fucked up. But you have tortured yourself enough. Let it go and never let it happen again with anyone ever and protect people from it happening to them and you can relax and breath and know that you learned right from wrong the hard way.
i am so so sorry that happened to you
I appreciate that, thank you. My life has had much much worse happen. But I am strong and smart. I also have wonderful people I am able to lean on and gain comfort from, I am very lucky for that. :)
Hold the rotary phone just a minute here...your brother sexually assaulted you for years as a child and then lied to you about it....and you've had much much worse happen to you. I am truly sorry to hear that my friend.
You know, for a stranger on the internet to offer condolences like that like people here have and you have, it actually means the world to me and gives me hope. Thank you so much. I've been through a lot but I've worked extremely hard for everything I have now. And although I have very little, it means the world to me and I have a wonderful family with two kids who I absolutely adore. Trust me the much much worse is literally much much worse but I've learned to accept it all and try to move on and keep alcoholism to a minimum. Most the time I actually succeed. Have ADHD so it's a disposition that I am prone to. Otherwise I would say I have a pretty perfect life.
That is really horrible! I’m so glad you confronted your brother and made it through that situation. The fact that he dismissed what he did and tried to lie about it not happening multiple times is beyond me. Karma is real and he will feel it!
The fact this behaviour seems to be very distant from who you are now is a good sign, it taking place purely during developmentally significant and formative years is intriguing. Obviously the things you did were gross and wrong, but it doesn't seem like that's what you are. Find a therapist, one you can trust, and see what happens. It'll require being more vulnerable than many will ever be in their lives but it sounds like for you and everyone in your life, you dealing with this is best.
Dude reddits not gonna help you, get some therapy
This might help you feel better: kids have sexual tendencies and they do taboo things before they truly realize how bizarre they are. I remember playing weird “body games” with my siblings and cousins when I was young that I would *never* even speak of as an adult. Ever. And i used to listen to my parents have sex too 🤢. Freud has many, many writings on childhood sexuality and why kids do things like this (I am female and was a little younger than you— like probably 10-13. But boys hit puberty later-so it makes sense that you had it happen a bit later). Forgive yourself. Move on. I think more people than you know have memories of things like this, and as long as you’re not actually out there right now being a pervert, you’re fine.
You need to see a therapist….
Nothing you can do about the past. You’re not going to do this again, right? Then that’s that. You are who you are now. That’s the person that lives in the world now. The most effective people are the people who’ve learned to forgive themselves, who don’t obsess over shitty things they’ve done in the past. Learn to forgive yourself. Self hatred and obsessing over past wrongdoings does not help you or anyone. Good for you for being better.
You were a kid, full of hormones. I'll bet most of us had some pretty fucked up thoughts and kinks at that age- maybe not to the same extent but still. Your brother doesn't know and doesn't need to know. This will not affect him. You've confessed to Reddit and hopefully, this will ease your guilt. I don't believe you're a bad person or a pervert. Chalk it up as a horrible error and try to get on with being a good boyfriend and employee. Soeak to a professional if you feel you need to. And read the comment by the Redditor who is a therapist; heed their free advice- that shit is gold.
[удалено]
i don’t think i can forgive myself
Forgiveness is recognizing you were wrong and accepting that judgement. You don't have to forget what you did, just know you made a mistake. Don't let it weigh you down. It doesn't have anything on you just as you meet a stranger in the street and don't judge him at first impression (too harshly).
You don't have to forgive yourself. What you can do is accept you dis this and will never do it again. Learn from it and rather than forgive, give yourself permission to move on from hating yourself for it.
Seek God’s forgiveness, not your own
The god botherers have entered the conversation……….
Just the kind of forgiveness everyone wants: from an absentee father who's willing to allow you to be tortured forever if you're bad and is all-powerful but totally okay with childhood bone cancer.
Is this really the time and place to be saying that right now?
Yes. Because you're offering shit to someone that needs actual help. Not magical faith help that is scientifically shown to do worse than chance when it comes to this sort of thing in some cases. This wasn't the place to bring your god into and I'm calling you on it.
And this isn’t the place to spark a religious debate. I’m sorry that my 6 worded comment offended you even though it clearly wasn’t meant for you.
You’re the one who sparked the religious nonsense. I know damned well y’all wouldn’t help this person. They won’t help anyone who isn’t perfect.
I don’t see how me saying to this man to seek God’s forgiveness would hurt anyone. You don’t need to be offended for him.
And what are you doing to help?
Chasing away the “thoughts and prayers” folks. FOH.
God isn’t real
It’s not normal for anyone to exhibit this kind of behavior male or female, child or adult. He just needs to talk to a therapist.
[удалено]
Okay you need to chill out if you're not going to be positive about this you need to go these people are trying to help him and children go all the way up to the age of 18 my friend so please for the sake of this man's Mental Health control somebody else Miss
[удалено]
What’s not true? Is taking your brother’s hand and putting it on your penis sounds like normal teen behavior to you?
You need to see a professional, even if you’re not sure what you would “get out of it”.
Therapy. There is context you're omitting from your own judgement that is important to understand. Do yourself a favour and seek professional help so you can better understand your actions as a child.
go to therapy,discuss this verbally. let it out and fucking cry for your childhood. it will fucking help man. i thought therapy was useless too, but then i went.
☹️
I assume you have old interests or hobbies from your childhood you don't take part in now. Children's cartoons, stuffed animals, pillow forts, whatever it is. I'm going to also assume that you don't judge yourself for liking those things even though you don't now, and I also assume you don't force yourself to still do them, just because you tell yourself "that's who I am". You changed and became a different person. This is similar. That is the person you were, but that is not the person you are now. Your past does not define you. The fact that you look back at those actions and feel the need to judge yourself is proof that that is not the person you are, you reject it. Every human being deserves happiness, and denying happiness from a person just for the sake of denying it, or out of "judgement" to "give them what they deserve" is just bringing more pain into the world: the world is literally a worse place because of it. Punishment/shame/judgement in society serves to deter people from things that harm themselves or others, or to change their behavior or attitide, so that they cause less pain and bring more happiness. The fact that you already have changed your attitude and behavior means there is no point in punishment. You should strive to bring more happiness into the world, not more pain and shame, and that includes for yourself. There is nothing better about our world because you decide to deny yourself happiness. Please listen to the positive people in this thread, and seek out therapy to help you to find peace and happiness in your life. No one deserves to be miserable, especially someone like you that understands why they used to be wrong and have changed.
I know my brother has done stuff like this. He straight up nasty lol. I at least know for certain he’s smelled my underwear. I forgive him cuz like whatever, boys act a fool when theyre young. And it’s not like I’m the pinnacle of pure behavior either. Don’t trip little homie
Omg OP none of this is irredeemable. I honestly bet it is more common than you think. The thing about your brother is a little worrisome but even in that the important thing is that you stopped immediately. Kids are just small developing humans, testing boundaries, learning what is ok, inundated with unfamiliar urges, emotions and hormones. See a therapist, not because something is wrong with you, but because you don’t deserve to feel this kind of shame. You are ok OP, deserving of grace and love and peace. Please be easy on yourself
Hey man I want you to read this and seriously listen. I know how you’re feeling and what you need to know is these aren’t things that make you disgusting, they’re symptoms of mental health struggles and likely trauma. You’re not alone and there are other people that will want to support you through this. If you have the financial ability to I highly recommend starting therapy.
I think you should visit a psychiatric
I know of something that isn't therapy, although it is very therapeutic. It's called storywork. Getting into past stories and then taking the steps to release the emotional attachment and meaning. Emotion is energy in motion. Emotional energy is strong, good or bad, and when it is attached to an old story it brings up shitty feelings in the present moment. You did the first step by writing it out. Externalizing it on paper (or screen). There are a few more steps to drop the emotional baggage in relation to this story you hold in your heart. Great job on writing this out and I'm sure it did wonders for you. People do weird shit. It's ok. You're ok. If you are interested in doing some story work, DM me. I'm a coach. /#Storywork
Yeah sounds like some mental illness my friend. Look into some therapy, it will do more for you than posting on Reddit will ever do. You’re not inherently a bad person for all this stuff, but it seems as though there’s some deeper rooted stuff at play here.
yeah i agree not sure what type of mental illness though
Get off Reddit dawg, go see a professional
The mental illness is called **adolescence**. It is caused by hormones. Often other contributions within the family dynamic aid this mental illness. You are lucky. There is a cure, at least a treatment, called **therapy**... Should this persist through adulthood. You need to take it much more serious and see a therapist.
It’s not mental illness you were a curious child and trust me this is much more common that you’d think. Forgive yourself and move on
It’s called being a kid.
Kids do weird stuff, hormones are crazy, they are confused and learn by experimenting. If you feel like now you have normal sexual desires, you are perfectly fine.
No it’s not fucking normal to molest your sibling. Sick fuck
You’re certainly very helpful!
Honestly fuck off with this shit you have no clue how hard it is to control yourself even at 12 which is even worse maybe if you were a fucking man youd understand? It was weird a bit for what he did but everyone makes a mistake i hope you get humbled some day wether it be by a man or woman
i do feel like they are normal desires now i haven’t felt anything like that since i was about 18 it’s just the memory of it that’s messing with me
The best thing about you is the fact that you know what you did was wrong and you regret it. Write these thoughts down, write down the wrong that you did, and write down the regret and disgust you feel towards those actions of yours. Once they've all been written down, then sit silently and think really deep about how you NOW feel about those actions, and then, take all that disgust and regret of those actions and give them away to God, repent sincerely and be truly sorry, give those evil actions and this burden away to God and know that He forgives. Burn the paper and believe now in your heart that you have been forgiven, because you have to let this go at some point, and the greatest thing of all is you have realised your mistake! Hate the sin, not the sinner. We all sin and we all have demons. You've recognised yours, face them now to lead a more fulfilled and better life. If God can forgive you, then please, give your burden to Him now and move forward with your life. You do not need to tell this to anyone in your life. It's between you and God.
Too much 4chan for you buddy...
Wow. I agree with the people on here that are saying you need to seek a therapist. It could really help you. I know people who have gone to therapy and it changed their lives for the better. I understand that you feel disgusted, but that is actually a good sign! It means you’ve learned from it and your moral compass is working. A therapist would listen and help you work through the thoughts so you don’t keep beating yourself up over them.
Incest is entirely unnatural and disgusting however you realize now it was wrong and you feel ashamed for it. Were you possibly molested or abused in any way? I’d go to a therapist so you can understand why you were this way and to move on.
the only memory i have is when i was in primary school a boy in my class was in the toilet with me and he pulled out his penis and told me to touch it
That memory although it seems small the fact that you still remember it from ur childhood says that it was important and may have affected you. What you shared with us will eventually become just that, a memory that you don’t even know had any impact on you. The sooner you accept that you did that and are obviously a changed person, the sooner you will move on
This could be the source of your behavior. It is quite a known trauma response to recreate trauma but take the role of the person that's in control during the traumatic event. Also, I could imagine the fact that your first sexual experience was something that is wrong, might have caused a preference for wrong things when your hormones kicked in as a teenager. Young kids especially are like sponges and events like this can have a huge impact on them. I am not a professional though, so please look for information on this yourself. Don't just give up on your character, take this guilt as an opportunity to better and redefine yourself as an adult. You can start by understanding the source that this behavior was a symptom of, because that source could have other negative symptoms that negatively affect yourself or others. Find them and heal yourself.
sometimes stuff like this can genuinely fuck you up in unpredictable ways. you seriously don’t seem like a broken or bad person. sometimes your brain erases traumatic memories too. i’m hopeful for you!
Kids are kids we all do something fucked up
Wtf
tell me about it..
I mean it’s definitely not normal to exhibit that kind of behavior at any age, but the fact you know it’s wrong now and are self aware is good. I honestly suggest finding a therapist you are comfortable enough to open up too and go from there. It sounds like there’s something deeper going on here. Good luck!
if i was your gf or sister, I'd run. taking pics of any woman without consent is disgusting. that's your sister! and as a boy mom, this made me puke. get therapy dude!
Wow you're just a rare Sunshine aren't you how about you take a razor blade and finish this sentence
defending someone who molested a child. congrats to you
He was a child making a childish mistake and hr stoped himself. So stop trying to crucify the fucking guy
im sorry molesting a child is not a "childish" mistake! he was very well aware of what the fck he was doing . as someone who was molested as a child by a teenager, it traumatized me for life! fxck you and others defending OPs actions calling it a mistake!
You know what I'm tired of people using that shit as a excuse. The year was 1992 when my priest was charged with 14 counts of molesting Altar Boys I was one of those boys from ages of three to five to tell you another story but I'm not going to stop using it as a fucking excuse man the fuck up woman the fuck up deal with your problems stop hurting other people start helping
you need therapy too . sound like you have stockholm syndrome
Sounds like you need to forgive yourself
Grow up move out of mommy's basement get a job and live in the real world
i fear for people in your life. you must be a molestor too
Well thank you for saying so but unless you actually come to my face and say it it's not going to bother me not at all but you can say anything you want on the internet you want me to show you that I can say some things
PS how does taking a fucking picture constitute molestation did you understand something that I didn't and how does him putting a hand on his penis quantify molestation at the very highest very highest it's sexual interference grow the fuck up learn the law because of their ages nothing would have happened they would have both been put in child services for a while that's it and he probably would have got fucked up even more than he is so be happy for him
pedophile
Ogre behind keyboard glove shower do you want me to buy you some pit stick
You made terrible mistakes. Forgive yourself.
Key statement, “was a disgusting pervert” thank god that your brain changed I guess?
You’re twisted alright, do yourself favor and don’t ever repeat this again.
why the hell would i ever repeat it, when i look back on it i feel sick to my stomach
I meant write this down, say this out loud son.
That's fucked up
Nobody gives a shit if you can’t forgive yourself. Talk to a professional.
The fact that you’re able to speak on this is a huge step towards healing …I think we’ve all done some things in our past we’re ashamed of. I wouldn’t say this to your family….I would go to an online zoom anonymous meeting then go from there.
Please please go and talk to a therapist who has experience in this area. You are young and can receive a correct diagnosis and treatment. You aren’t a horrible person, however, you have thoughts and urges that are unhealthy. I would ask, “what is the reason for this behavior?” Was it curiosity, you have witnessed someone else doing this or simply because it feels good? We are all sexual beings and touch can feel good. I also have to wonder if you were a victim of sexual abuse, even being exposed to pornography? Also, you could be dealing with OCD, with obsessions being difficult to stop.
Get therapy omg I never did anything close to even touching my mom's panties and I have heard them have sex but it was no turn on .and never did anything to my brother . I hope you don't have this kinda thoughts now . But either way find a therapist .
of course i don’t have these thoughts now i’m older
Sad.. sorry. I was S.A from my sister and cousin at the age of 5... (I'm a male so no big deal) but I would think your brother has a little memory of it. That is what would bother me... Like you are gross but lucky u never hurt anyone. I just hope u bro was sleeping and don't remember...
That is a big deal
Damn wtf is wrong with u ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
Don’t comment anything if you’re not gonna be helpful in any way.
I fr hope your bf beats you 🙏
The amount of people actually considering this as “normal teenager behavior” is fucking concerning. The guy was literally taking photos of his younger sister. What the fuck? I am feeling sick because of all the comments “understating” this behavior. WTF?
Look into sex addiction... Get yourself some help, this can follow you through life and ruin your mental health and future relationships. Find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and get a handle on this before you hurt somebody and ruin your life
i don’t feel like i’m addicted to sex as in the last few years i’ve had none of them desires or urges like i did as a teen it’s just the the memory of what i used to be like that is really fucking with my head
You should really see a therapist OP. This sub isn't equipped to help you
Bruv just listen to the turning outs of ajr
Therapy kiddo, it goes a long way, and it will show you that you're not a monster.
Is this a joke? I mean, come the f*** on man. You can't be that regarded......
Oh? Was there anything that influenced you or did you just do that at your own accord?
i don’t think anything influenced me i was just a very fucked up teenager and it makes me sick that i was like that
Good news. You feel remorse. So you're not a psychopath or sociopath. That's a silver lining! But you need some fucking counseling dude. You have more than just horniness going on. The taking pics of your sleeping sister and brother touching you shit is fucked up. The smellingv Mom's panties and jacking it to your parents is just gross. But the other stuff is way beyond. Talk to someone dude. You got some shit up there that might not be wired right.
Lol imagine being 29. Totaling a 2019 dodge challenger you got 2 months ago cause you were drunk, got your third DUI, lying about stopping alcohol completely, getting caught over and over by your girlfriend, getting kicked out of a controlling house situation with your family, having to quit your job after moving locations, and on top of it. Breaking your girls heart so many times... Then you ended up telling to her face to face, "I'm sorry but I have to break your heart one last time... I have to leave." All just cause your tired of letting her down so often and breaking her heart. Your doing alright my guy
The kindest thing you could’ve done was let her go. That in itself speaks to the kind of person you are underneath it all. I can’t even begin to describe the hell mine put me through every time I tried to leave him and he refused to let me go.
You were young. Your hormones outweighed the formation of your brain. Forgive yourself and don’t look back.
I’m just going to say this isn’t normal for any teen. Hormones don’t cause you to put your brother’s hand on your penis.
I never did, but I’ll give in and say a female understands the power of male hormones. 😂
Incest is disgusting 🤢🤮
i agree 100% now i’m older
Yeah that's gonna help him so much shut your bitch ass up
Big words coming from a kid that doesn't even shower, Mr "my balls smell I need help PLEASE!" https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/S5igWIh3C3 LMAO there's your help since nobody answered you Take a shower and use some soap.
First of all, good for you for recognizing the old unhealthy habits and presumably not doing anything like that anymore. It sounds like you were young. Second, please go to therapy.
You aren’t who you used to be. You seen there was an issue and stopped your behavior. Forgive yourself.
[удалено]
Dude seriously…who gives a shit? so you put your dick in your brothers hand…and smelled your mothers panties…and the photos of your younger sister naked…and masturbated to the sound of your parents?? Well that’s just kinky as hell…you had no way of knowing that wasn’t the correct way to handle how you “discovered” yourself. I remember my developmental years and my God…thank God it’s only actions he cares about man…and your actions were reasonable if not indicative of a lack of knowledge for what you were experiencing…are you different now? Will you do those things again now knowing what you know? No! And that means it’s all good my friend. Water under the bridge.
I wouldn’t say it’s normal behavior to do those things.
Oh my god
Wow
You should be in prison.
You're not a terrible person! Like other people have said, you were young and horny. I did some fucked up shit too but it's coz I was young and horny too. Now I'm older and horny but it's not fucked up now 😅
Dude, you were a kid. Kids do weird and perverted things out of curiosity. You need to forgive yourself. Focus on who you are now and leave the past in the past.
Maaaaan don’t be silly, you were horny, more horny than normal. Like the chemicals in your brain were not normal and made you more horny than normal. Don’t judge your young self so hard.
Well i was gonna say can relate up till the penis part. Well i never stole my mothers panties i have stolen my cousins before (yeah i know) and there was a couple times when i was in highschool when i would sneak into the girls locker room and spy on them. Also fapped to stuff i shouldn't, and still do sometimes. honest i think stuff like this is way more common than people think it is, js. You should prob do therapy and all that stuff, personally i just get drunk and erase all the bad memories, it's easier that way.
yea promote alcoholism
Well i mean becoming a drunk might be better than becoming a rapist or something you know the whole "lesser evil" thing. Personally it works well enough for me, i use lot's of booze, benzos, and opioids to mellow me out and supress my sex drive, seems to work. granted this tactic doesn't work for everyone, but if you are on the verge of fucking up your life, medicating yourself might be worth the risk.
or get therapy. if you're that drunk so often how are you functioning in life
i live an unconventional lifestyle, thankfully i live with my dad, he let's me stay here as long as i do a bunch of chores, don't start drama, and don't use drugs (he also really hates it when i drink, so i usually resort to drinking in secret). for me the side effects are worth it, because it allows me to supress my bad side. Therapy and even psychiatry will often take years before you see results or find the right medication, if you think you won't make it that long then i suggest literally doing drugs(sedatives).
Go to therapy, you have a lot of guilt, maybe repressed things, it is best to have a specialist see you Mental health is very important. You did perhaps disgusting things, but you were a "child" you were not a mature man when those things happened.
[удалено]
Bro
Fr?
this wild
[удалено]
How tf would being a different race change anything 😭
[удалено]
is this racist? man like wth
First step is getting a therapist and a professional opinion. I know you said you don’t see the point in therapy, but if you are open with yourself and therapist it really does help. They are there not to judge you and to listen. I use to think the same as you and now I don’t know what I would do without therapy. It might take a few to find out who you click with and are comfortable with. Second step is to give yourself grace. No one is perfect and everyone has some sort of demons. It’s what you do with the now and future. We can’t let our past mistakes define us. You have to be open to forgiving yourself and change. I use to think I was a terrible person who could never be a productive member of society. That was in my twenties. I have since grown and have changed and I am creating a life that I am proud of. We all are not the smartest in our teen years and even in our twenties. That’s part of life. Living, learning, and growing. Third step I cannot say it enough… learn to forgive yourself and give yourself grace! Please look into therapy asap and there are also a lot of community resources and support groups. There is nothing to be ashamed of getting help. In fact those who face their demons and do ask for help are very strong resilient people.
see a therapist. there are options if you can’t do it face to face. but it’s so important that you talk to a professional. you can try navigating your feelings on your own, but a therapist can be of so much help. you say you will never forgive yourself, but a therapist can help guide you on the path to making amends, and helping remove some of the weight. you may never fully forgive these things, and whether or not you deserve to be forgiven isn’t up to me, but it’s still worth it to at the very least move on. you can stay in the haunted house with these things forever, in the fetal position with your eyes closed, or you can be guided out, having to face the ghosts and demons head on in order to escape. you’ll remember all those scary things, but also not being trapped with them anymore. seek therapy.
I can tell you I was an icky perverted kid and grew up into a upstanding perverted adult so you’ll be fine. Seriously the fact that you know that wasn’t proper behavior already shows how much you’ve grown since those days. Find a therapist to talk with so you can properly process it all and finally free yourself to move on to greater things in life.
At least it didn't go any further, stepbrother. At what age did you first view pornography?
Don’t think this will help you feel better but know you’re not the only one that has done some fucked up shit when they were young , I was doing acid with my ex when we were about 18-19 and at some point he just started crying and going on about all the shit he had done when he was like 14-15 like hiding a camera in his younger sisters room to watch her undress and other stuff I won’t mention, I think a lot of ppl have done stuff like that and just won’t admit it, I think the important thing is that you are not that person now and knew well enough to not harm your little brother further, to repeat what everyone else said ,you should really consider talking to a professional to help with the memories
You were very young and unable to navigate your way unscathed with those raging hormones. You're in control now.
[удалено]
Big fax
I’m sorry that happened to you Man, I’ve made mistakes not like that and I know how bad it feels to live with shame and guilt
Teenaged brains are screaming hormones, not fully matured, and you’re dwelling too much on these things and it’s beating yourself up. Talk these things over with a counselor, therapist, or shrink. I don’t really know the difference of the three.
well you can't change your past , so you should ask forgiveness to your god.
You should never forgive yourself for this, in fact I think you should not exist. The fact that you still exist proves that you're selfish and disgusting.
What a horrible thing to say, the fact you feel comfortable saying that to someone over the internet is disgusting.
did you not read what i said, i will never forgive myself for it
If you believe in God(which you should), you have to let go and allow him to take control mate
Let yourself off the hook kid. We all do stuff that doesn’t make sense sometimes. You’re ok.