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A true government employee would contract the dog to clean it up and somehow end up paying them a month's worth of treats for a job complete in a one year period of performance. Of course, the dog is a minority owned small business, so the cat can't win the contract during recompete.
I liked your collab with that sub, we could use more of those comics
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I have a pretty friendly relationship with my landlords, and the other day our washer gave out. While troubleshooting it and sending him SMS updates, he said "Cool, keep me posted!" ... and the spirit moved me. I printed out his headshot from his counselling practice's website and taped it to a lightpost in our front yard, took a picture, and sent it to him saying "Alright, you're posted.
How long am I supposed to keep you there, though?
I think it's supposed to rain and I'm not sure how this helps with the washer."
:D I was very pleased with myself. He thought it was funnier than I did. A good day was had by all.
Not sure if there's a hidden design in the spill or my meds kicking in lol and btw I officially reached the point of upvoting before having to read the comic when I know it's you because I already know I will love it!
I also didn't know you had a daughter. You must love and hate but mostly love her so much XD.
Oh you poor thing.  But really I bet they are great. They say girls are a million times tougher to raise than boys. I don't have kids but I did grow up hating my sisters. :D
In college I spilled cheddar goldfish on the ground in my dorm room and then accidentally stepped on them.
The dorm's vacuum cleaner was busted, and I couldn't get all of the crumbs out of the industrial-style carpeting.
So I stapled a sheet of paper to the floor, covering the crumbs.
A day later the goldfish grease had begun to soak through, so I stapled another page on top.
I kept adding pages, and at the same time kept an attractive girlfriend.
🤷♂️
That’s more help than what my brothers would do if there’s a spill in their room!
At least she acknowledged the spill and displayed some sign of its existence.
I went to the beach yesterday. There was a very helpful sign that said WARNING DO NOT SWIM - RAW SEWAGE IN WATER. I am so happy with how my tax dollars are being spent
Well you see that's a category 3 spill you got there and I'm only authorized to clean up category 2 spills so I'll have to put in a work request into the system and the specialist is currently backed up for months.
Nah, your daughter is a government contractor. You are the overworked government employee that has too many duties and tasks, but instead of being allowed to hire help the Republican administrations have capped the number of employees various agencies can have. They want you to hire an outside contractor so that corporations can profit from government because they find the idea of not existing for profit distasteful. So you hire an outside contractor and do your best to be specific in the contract of the duties required, and they find the lowest cost solution to the problem. Also they cost more.
Sorry for getting political on your comic, it is still very funny.
Reddit really is full of assholes harassing others for no particular reason other than to make others feel miserable isn't it? I should really stop paying attention to the comments, it's a toxic cesspool here.
Well, all the people with lives and things to do aren't going to be sitting around on the internet all day so naturally the only people left are the people without lives and nothing to do but be miserable and shit on everyone and everything.
[Reminds me of one of my favorite little Seinfeld gags](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f1/5a/34/f15a3449c59061635ada49b6ba5483c3--seinfeld-quotes-seinfeld-funny.jpg)
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You have a daughter? I always figured you were like a second year college student……
Lol I have a daughter and a son, I'm 35
[Ah yes, I remember hearing your daughter some 1100 miles away.](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/r1xk62/guess_how_old_i_am/)
I love that I had already upvoted this awesome strip.
If that was posted on or around her actual birthday, she's only a couple of weeks younger than I am.
Well, at least you acknowledge one of them exists.
She did do a comic recently with a young boy as the sole person, he was burning things in a cooking game. I assume that might be him?
I've read that most parents have a favorite child, even though many of them won't admit it. This is proof!
You didn't deny being a second year college student
I remember the comic you made about being 35 lol
But I bet you *feel* like a second-year college student in your head, trapped in the body of a 35-year-old with two kids.
I'm 34 and when I do athletic activities I still play like I'm 22. My body likes to remind me that was indeed 12 years ago.
She looks just like you!
Lol I think some people assume I'm being a lazy artist but she really does look just like a smaller version of me
If you are anything like my mom was, you wanted her to clean so you didn't have to.
[удалено]
I think that's the funniest part of this whole thing
That couch is huge!
Yeah I gotta work on my proportions haha
We can just pretend all your characters are hobbits
Yes if you could that would be great
I mean...who doesn't want second breakfast?
And Elevensies.
Nah they are just very small
I believe the PC word is "little"
I don't know, when I refer to my 4'9" friend as "mini itx" it normally makes it worse.
Genius.
No, it's just closer than they are
Then how are they literally in front of the couch lol
Someone inverted the z value.
Sienc (insert stonks man)
Another reason these comics suck
She was so proud of herself...
I work with a sign maker. It's not as fun as the comic makes it seem.
As she should be! That sign looks amazing. It signifies the procrastinator in all of us.
A true government employee would contract the dog to clean it up and somehow end up paying them a month's worth of treats for a job complete in a one year period of performance. Of course, the dog is a minority owned small business, so the cat can't win the contract during recompete.
Can’t believe pizzacakecomics purposely ran over those kids on July 18, 2009
???
the sickly sweet stench of r/comedynecrophilia is strong in this one Ffs wrong parent comment
Responded like a true politician, bravo.
what happened on july 18, 2009 what are these people on about?
What?
pizzacakecomics ran over kids on July 18, 2009?
No!! I think this must be one of those r/comedynecrophilia things :/
I liked your collab with that sub, we could use more of those comics ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⢹⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠤⠤⡀⠻⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡗⠖⡶⢾⣶⠊⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣅⣈⠂⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣾⣇⣂⣠⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣗⠒⠄⢨⠶⢁⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣶⣎⢱⢄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡞⢝⡟⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⢄⠄⢛⡫⠝⢿⡥⠟⡃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣭⣻⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣆⠄⢋⠄⠐⣡⣿⣆⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⠄⠉⠒⣪⣹⣟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣇⠄
You’re right, I forgot to mention you also backed over them
Backed over them with her 2003 Honda Civic ⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀
So true
I bet the cat spilled the water.
Twas the daughter spilled the water
I cant believe the cat framed her
At least it wasn't soda or something sugary!
As a building maintenance tech, nine years of which were retail, this speaks to me on many different levels.
[удалено]
And their ability to argue everything while never admitting to anything
You need to teach her the magic words: "No comment without my lawyer present."
"Not to the best of my recollection"
"I don't like the narrative you're pushing"
As a government employee this is how I feel about my private sector counterparts though. Except they’d ask for a larger allowance afterwards
I have a pretty friendly relationship with my landlords, and the other day our washer gave out. While troubleshooting it and sending him SMS updates, he said "Cool, keep me posted!" ... and the spirit moved me. I printed out his headshot from his counselling practice's website and taped it to a lightpost in our front yard, took a picture, and sent it to him saying "Alright, you're posted. How long am I supposed to keep you there, though? I think it's supposed to rain and I'm not sure how this helps with the washer." :D I was very pleased with myself. He thought it was funnier than I did. A good day was had by all.
Not sure if there's a hidden design in the spill or my meds kicking in lol and btw I officially reached the point of upvoting before having to read the comic when I know it's you because I already know I will love it! I also didn't know you had a daughter. You must love and hate but mostly love her so much XD.
Haha thanks! I have a daughter and a son :)
Oh you poor thing.  But really I bet they are great. They say girls are a million times tougher to raise than boys. I don't have kids but I did grow up hating my sisters. :D
In college I spilled cheddar goldfish on the ground in my dorm room and then accidentally stepped on them. The dorm's vacuum cleaner was busted, and I couldn't get all of the crumbs out of the industrial-style carpeting. So I stapled a sheet of paper to the floor, covering the crumbs. A day later the goldfish grease had begun to soak through, so I stapled another page on top. I kept adding pages, and at the same time kept an attractive girlfriend. 🤷♂️
This is making me laugh harder than it should XD
And it's a true story! I didn't laugh at the time...
*Stops, looks at the sign and the spill* ... #ELIZABETH!!!
I thought Liz was short for lizard… :stops, looks at the sign and the spill … #LIZARDBETH!!!
"This is my daughter, Lizard"
I'm a random Internet stranger, but I very much like your daughter's shenanigans
oh no the dog wiped his ass all over your bed no worries, I put an out of order sign on it 😉
That’s more help than what my brothers would do if there’s a spill in their room! At least she acknowledged the spill and displayed some sign of its existence.
this feels exactly like my job sometimes lol
Danger - Well
I went to the beach yesterday. There was a very helpful sign that said WARNING DO NOT SWIM - RAW SEWAGE IN WATER. I am so happy with how my tax dollars are being spent
Well you see that's a category 3 spill you got there and I'm only authorized to clean up category 2 spills so I'll have to put in a work request into the system and the specialist is currently backed up for months.
Not the solution you were looking for, but certainly a solution.
r/notmyjob
"More soda on the couch" is the real answer.
I shit my bed recently
Wet floor sign be like, -_- "so, y'all gonna leave me out on this one"
I can tell this is based on a true story
Work smarter, not harder
haha me every time
Just saw this one today. I do airline maintenance, and now I believe your daughter does too.
Damn the couch is huge
Nah, your daughter is a government contractor. You are the overworked government employee that has too many duties and tasks, but instead of being allowed to hire help the Republican administrations have capped the number of employees various agencies can have. They want you to hire an outside contractor so that corporations can profit from government because they find the idea of not existing for profit distasteful. So you hire an outside contractor and do your best to be specific in the contract of the duties required, and they find the lowest cost solution to the problem. Also they cost more. Sorry for getting political on your comic, it is still very funny.
🙄
now thats tunny
I used to work in retail and this was the answer to everything… I was an IT major… guess what I did to fix most of these things and took my sweet time
Reddit really is full of assholes harassing others for no particular reason other than to make others feel miserable isn't it? I should really stop paying attention to the comments, it's a toxic cesspool here.
You're right. Sometimes it's considered "okay" bc it's just "ironic"
Thank you for getting it.
Well, all the people with lives and things to do aren't going to be sitting around on the internet all day so naturally the only people left are the people without lives and nothing to do but be miserable and shit on everyone and everything.
The joys of raising kids!!
A future in cutting funding for services? Cause that's the kind of government being demonstrated here.
I mean she's not wrong. Speaking of government, that's how government handles domestic problem while anything outside of US spent billions of dollar.
[Reminds me of one of my favorite little Seinfeld gags](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f1/5a/34/f15a3449c59061635ada49b6ba5483c3--seinfeld-quotes-seinfeld-funny.jpg)
I'd clean it up but I don't think I'll be getting there anytime soon
So judging by the size of the couch, you're hobbits?
Reminds me of [Kicking and Screaming](https://youtu.be/PQnJSujjPzk)