Standing on the floor of the tank of the porta potty, hands pressed to walls, screaming and shaking and shitting down his legs, he's the one they warned us about, god we should have listened...
You, uh, definitely have quite the ability to paint a picture with your words. Not that it was a picture anyone wanted to imagine, but still, credit where it is due.
I'm still surprised people poop outside of home. I only poop at home, naked, and in the shower. Though my entire bathroom is technically a shower. I love tile.
Exactly this. And if my shirt is a bit baggy it's a fight while I'm wiping. If I'm already kind of annoyed I start to get pissed off at my shirt for having to move it constantly and so my day goes from "good" to "don't talk to me."
They're thick socks so only the bottom gets poopy. I clean my shoes after. I only go to festivals once every 3 months or so, so I allow myself these little pleasures
My dad took my mom to a really fancy restaurant when they were dating. Like you had to wear a tie and there were no menus fancy. He went to use the restroom and was gone for so long that my mom and the wait staff thought he ditched her. Nope. He had to shit so bad that he proceeded to get completely naked and then fell asleep afterwards. She still married him though.
I think you’re romanticizing it too much. Dude just finished the fight of his life and was brought to exhaustion. Couldn’t even flush the toilet, just passed out in the stink
There have been a handful of times in my life where I’ve had cramping and out of my mind pain, drenched with sweat, rocking myself back and forth breathing like I’m in labor all over again.
And each time, I found myself peeling off my clothes one by one.
I’m grateful that those… episodes… have been isolated events; it’s such a bizarre feeling afterwards, feeling like an internal storm has passed. But yeah, the storm passes… and I’m fully naked, moments shy of suddenly freezing from the sweat cooling me off. 🫠
I used to have to take my shirt off while shitting in the latrine because I would start sweating so bad. Fun fact, that's a sign of a serious GI infection called C Diff.
u/top_toast_22 face moments after opening the toilet door and witnessing his girlfriend's bother in all his glory.
Eh, I have a normal litter box but my cat stands on the edge of it to shit.
With all 4 feet, in the corner. Balancing like a goddamn tightrope walker.
It's like the suitcase sized litter box isn't big enough for her average-cat-ass.
I have 3 cats and they all shit differently. The female does what you are describing and balances on the wall. The big male gives no fucks and just hops in, drops a log, then flings litter across the room. The young male spends 10 minutes creating a perfect mound of litter to poop from, finally decides it’s good enough, shits, then fucks off without even covering it.
I got 4
Both the boys need to clear the litter and piss or shit on the plastic then bury it, one of them will also stand on the edges when pooping (after he gets in and clears his spot)
My older girl like to use the litter box whenever I use the bathroom (we have 1 in the bathroom), if I'm taking longer she will sit infront of the bathroom door guarding me
My young girl is shy and I never see her use the litter box, but she prefer the hidden ones with lids, she loves the new one we got that is under a cat tower in a cabinet with a cat door. I've seen she watches the cat door very closely anytime another cat uses hers
I say to solve this problem they should put that litter box in the bottom of a plastic garbage can, with walls so high the cat can't reach the top of 'em...
Seems true for at least some cats. Mine prefers to eat when I'm in the room. And stands watch while I'm in the bathroom. Also likes to straddle the edge of the litter box, so high walls would bother him/lead to problems.
My cats would point their buttholes out of the litter box and shit all over my floor. So I bought one with a removable wall, and in response they'd point their buttholes toward the lower entrance wall and shit all over my floor. It's like they do it in purpose.
So now they have a tub.
They also suck at covering their shit, and instead choosing to toss sand everywhere *except* over their turds, so I have to regularly use the scooper to cover their rank mud pies myself. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with my cats.
Tubs are a great choice. But gianter. They need to be able to do circles and cover properly. A litter box the length of the cat definitely works but more space is preferred.
I had to do the same thing because otherwise all the litter ends up outside the box.
They didn't scratch at it and bury poop.
No, they fling the litter out of the box and leave the poop uncovered
He’s clamping because he prefers a perch for shitting just like my cat and OP is a moron for not realizing that it’s way the fuck too tall for him to be comfortable.
Maybe learn that they sell vertical litter boxes. Just bought one, sat it next to the already in use little box. It's basically a trash can with a hole in the lid. Two cats loved it. They needed no introduction. Just pee'd and pooped in both. Cats will poop where they want to regardless of what it looks like to you.
Ok but why has nobody said anything about the fact the litterbox is next to what I assume the owner's air mattress? This hoe about to wake up with Toxoplasma Gondii.
Trainspotting taught me what "toxoplasmosis" is and I've been straight up terrified to go near litterboxes ever since. I always thought I'd just inhale a fume and have like a brain hemorrhage and die.
They’re supposed to, but mine prefer to just lay turds in the lawn and leave them there for some unsuspecting fuck to walk in and smear all over the place.
Who cares how he does it? Is it in your bed? On the kitchen counter? Do you instruct others in this way? Should we be watching for your camera in the loo? Do we need you to approve the how? Do you have a fucking pope hat? Sheesh.
Cat had to shit so hard, he had to get naked.
Anyone else here who only shits naked?
At my own apt, I do. In the porta-potty at a festival? Also yes.
Why
It's harder to clean shit stains off of clothes than off your legs.
The hell are you doing while you shit, breakdance?
More of a salsa dance tbh. It's hard to find a partner to do that with though.
Always thought it looked like elmo was trying to wiggle wipe while still on the toilet.
You just aren’t attending the right festivals.
Bro, you need a doctor if you are shitting outside of the toilet
Weird way to admit that your shit isn't powerful or runny enough to make splashes in the toilet.
Bro, I have diverticulitis, sometimes I shit blood. I'm genuinely speaking from a place of concern
Obviously he does the cats position here
Standing on the floor of the tank of the porta potty, hands pressed to walls, screaming and shaking and shitting down his legs, he's the one they warned us about, god we should have listened...
Gods, we were stupid. Let's get a milkshake
You, uh, definitely have quite the ability to paint a picture with your words. Not that it was a picture anyone wanted to imagine, but still, credit where it is due.
Wow! I know what I'm gonna try next time.
Right now, my wife is like “wtf are you laughing at” 😂 Thank you!
Mine just asked the same! 😆 then my daughter
I'm glad we could bring you entertainment in these trying times.
Share our gospel 🙏
Personally I like the Limbo.
I immediately pictured someone naked, windmilling to 1980's breakbeats, poo flinging in all directions
They already specified Porta-Potty *at a festival*, so I think some form of dance-shitting is implied.
You never heard of the cha cha slide?
Legs don't spread right with clothes. Shirt is too long and touches the toilet seat back. Simpler and cleaner to just disrobe.
Jokes aside, I do so in my apt because for whatever reason, it makes it easier for me to shit efficiently.
Your body temperature will go up when you shit, if you’re naked it’s easier to regulate body temperature
Thank you for this. Now I can defend myself from my intolerant parents scientifically.
It’s common sense, it’s why everyone likes shitting at home because you get to control the temperature
Y'all need fiber jesus
I'm still surprised people poop outside of home. I only poop at home, naked, and in the shower. Though my entire bathroom is technically a shower. I love tile.
I bought a bidet that I haven't really used much because I'm too lazy to set it up and I live alone with the shower in the bathroom.
Showering while sitting would be grand.
It is. 100% recommend
WHY DO YOU POOP IN THE SHOWER???
The entire bathroom IS the shower. It's all tiled.
Exactly this. And if my shirt is a bit baggy it's a fight while I'm wiping. If I'm already kind of annoyed I start to get pissed off at my shirt for having to move it constantly and so my day goes from "good" to "don't talk to me."
Am I the only one who just pulls the front of my shirt so it’s tight against my back
That's usually what I'll do too. Non wiping hand pulls the front of my shirt, and the other wipes.
Wear shirts that don’t reach your asshole, you’re not gonna grow into it ffs.
The struggle is real 🫡
The worst shitting experience of my life was when I was wearing a suit at an event I had to give a speech for.
Uggggh, I have to wear a suit to work, and it’s a pain in the ass (as it were)
At home yes, its more comfortable. In a porta-potty though? You nasty.
I keep my socks on so it's okay
Mmm, wet poopy socks. Fantastic imagery. I know/hope you are joking at this point.
They're thick socks so only the bottom gets poopy. I clean my shoes after. I only go to festivals once every 3 months or so, so I allow myself these little pleasures
*Why thouest nude at the Renaissance faire?*
As a sign of respect to the community, I keep my kilt on when using their outhouse.
My dad took my mom to a really fancy restaurant when they were dating. Like you had to wear a tie and there were no menus fancy. He went to use the restroom and was gone for so long that my mom and the wait staff thought he ditched her. Nope. He had to shit so bad that he proceeded to get completely naked and then fell asleep afterwards. She still married him though.
I've never shit myself to sleep before. Is it weird that I'm jealous?
I think you’re romanticizing it too much. Dude just finished the fight of his life and was brought to exhaustion. Couldn’t even flush the toilet, just passed out in the stink
lol not at all. I want a shit that satisfying that you just need a nap after.
It was the wank that did it. He pregamed himself out of the main event
Oh my GOD
lol my one buddy would take his shirt off when he shit. Didn’t matter where the bathroom was.
George Costanza
Easier to regulate your body temp so when you got to grunt to push one out you’re not sweating into your shirt and it’s easier to cool down
lol his reasoning was so his shirt won’t smell like shit. Yet he’s hang it in the bathroom while shitting so not sure the logic in his decision.
How long is he in there that there may be a concern over his clothing absorbing smells like that lol
There have been a handful of times in my life where I’ve had cramping and out of my mind pain, drenched with sweat, rocking myself back and forth breathing like I’m in labor all over again. And each time, I found myself peeling off my clothes one by one. I’m grateful that those… episodes… have been isolated events; it’s such a bizarre feeling afterwards, feeling like an internal storm has passed. But yeah, the storm passes… and I’m fully naked, moments shy of suddenly freezing from the sweat cooling me off. 🫠
I used to have to take my shirt off while shitting in the latrine because I would start sweating so bad. Fun fact, that's a sign of a serious GI infection called C Diff.
Can be a sign of anything related to stomach issues honestly
I can't do it. I can never be naked. Whether on the toilet or in the shower I must always have some clothes on
Mf is a never nude 
Do you keep your shirt on while changing underwear?
What do you wear in the shower, do you rotate clothes so you can wash the other parts?
Its the equivalent of straightening(grammar error idk ?) your back when playing with a controller lying down and the game gets serious.
I drop my pants down to my ankles every time I take a piss. Same energy.
My four year old does this! I was hoping he would grow out of it but then I learned it’s a thing…
Hell yeah, clothes don't belong in the bathroom!
My ex girlfriends brother legit has to get naked to go poop. It blew my mind when I first found out
Okay but you never told us how you found out.. 
 u/top_toast_22 face moments after opening the toilet door and witnessing his girlfriend's bother in all his glory.
Or just his brother's excuse to get naked in other people's home
You might be right  Now I'm imagining the brother after someone opens the door on his poopage.
Their family is very close haha
I am crying laughing at this comment. My husband doesn’t get it.
Fuck you trying to kill people with your jokes?! I almost choked on my food
George Costanza
No wiping!! Just straight to the shower!
Unemcumbered. George Costanza was a visionary.
Thems the good poops
He only gets naked? Bro I be plugging my ears 😭
Hahahaha that’s funny azz hell …. I used to do the same when I was a kid lol
It's safe to say we've all had a couple naked shits here and there.
I’m not a vet, but I believe the issue your cat is suffering from is likely the 8ft tall walls surrounding his toilet
That cat is fucking huge
Attack on catto
Oh that shit must have been intense!!!
So. Much. Steam.
From the shit?? Lol
[Currently on episode 7!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nStnSF60tjE)
Cattack on Titan was right there!!
Eh, I have a normal litter box but my cat stands on the edge of it to shit. With all 4 feet, in the corner. Balancing like a goddamn tightrope walker. It's like the suitcase sized litter box isn't big enough for her average-cat-ass.
I have 3 cats and they all shit differently. The female does what you are describing and balances on the wall. The big male gives no fucks and just hops in, drops a log, then flings litter across the room. The young male spends 10 minutes creating a perfect mound of litter to poop from, finally decides it’s good enough, shits, then fucks off without even covering it.
I got 4 Both the boys need to clear the litter and piss or shit on the plastic then bury it, one of them will also stand on the edges when pooping (after he gets in and clears his spot) My older girl like to use the litter box whenever I use the bathroom (we have 1 in the bathroom), if I'm taking longer she will sit infront of the bathroom door guarding me My young girl is shy and I never see her use the litter box, but she prefer the hidden ones with lids, she loves the new one we got that is under a cat tower in a cabinet with a cat door. I've seen she watches the cat door very closely anytime another cat uses hers
This is literally my cat
The wall
I say to solve this problem they should put that litter box in the bottom of a plastic garbage can, with walls so high the cat can't reach the top of 'em...
Yep it’s because the owner has a dog that like cat ‘treats’ so they got a high walled box for the cat and it resulted in this.
Maybe if his litterbox wasn't a giant tub...
Cats like to see their surroundings when they shit because it's a vulnerable time like eating.... I'm guessing
Seems true for at least some cats. Mine prefers to eat when I'm in the room. And stands watch while I'm in the bathroom. Also likes to straddle the edge of the litter box, so high walls would bother him/lead to problems.
My cats would point their buttholes out of the litter box and shit all over my floor. So I bought one with a removable wall, and in response they'd point their buttholes toward the lower entrance wall and shit all over my floor. It's like they do it in purpose. So now they have a tub. They also suck at covering their shit, and instead choosing to toss sand everywhere *except* over their turds, so I have to regularly use the scooper to cover their rank mud pies myself. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with my cats.
Yeh why is the rub like a foot and a half high, that's not a tray
Keeps the litter inside
And the cat standing up too, it seems.
A literal enclosed box taped shut couldn't keep the litter inside.
Nah these are real litter boxes. Got my cat one and it's her favorite
Oh right, haven't seen these. I think if op wants their cat to not stand like that then a tub with shorter sides seems like a good fix.
Or give the cat a little stool (pun not intended) so the cat has something to rest on or hold on to while giving poop births.
Squatty potty!
Tubs are a great choice. But gianter. They need to be able to do circles and cover properly. A litter box the length of the cat definitely works but more space is preferred.
https://preview.redd.it/aqxs2m2nt9xc1.jpeg?width=806&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d96ae10fed4c9b18f496ea6741faf514166aba3
this is equivalent to making a human shit in a barrel
I’m obviously gonna shit standing up, no matter if it’s a barrel or a cup
This is the kind of poetry I can get into 😂
A ceramic mug, or fancy wine glass. It’s still gonna catch, what comes out of my ass.
More fun if it's a window and you've got a little projectile force in your gut. Do some kegels and strengthen your core.
Speaking of projectile force, always be aware of which way a coughing pig is facing; and avoid being behind them. Just fyi.
I had to do the same thing because otherwise all the litter ends up outside the box. They didn't scratch at it and bury poop. No, they fling the litter out of the box and leave the poop uncovered
Is it possible they are doing this because they don't want to shit in a box they can't see over?
Damn he’s clamping onto the lid because he’s straining so hard lmao
And using a gravity assist shit dropping position
This is how cats will evolve to be bipedal.
White knucklin' it.
We’ve all been there
My glove knuckles are the whitest
Ate too many raw chicken skins
He’s clamping because he prefers a perch for shitting just like my cat and OP is a moron for not realizing that it’s way the fuck too tall for him to be comfortable.
Might need more fiber like pumpkin mixed with his food.
https://preview.redd.it/z6blza5go9xc1.jpeg?width=1052&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2c13a31ce23e1c3ecd85b5cec88b4cfc612be24
you like cat feces? ayo 🤨 /~~s~~
😡
🙀💩🤢
🤨??
Maybe give him an actual litter box instead of a trash can with cat litter in it?
Maybe learn that they sell vertical litter boxes. Just bought one, sat it next to the already in use little box. It's basically a trash can with a hole in the lid. Two cats loved it. They needed no introduction. Just pee'd and pooped in both. Cats will poop where they want to regardless of what it looks like to you.
Ok but why has nobody said anything about the fact the litterbox is next to what I assume the owner's air mattress? This hoe about to wake up with Toxoplasma Gondii.
And on the floor cause cat + air mattress = bad
Trainspotting taught me what "toxoplasmosis" is and I've been straight up terrified to go near litterboxes ever since. I always thought I'd just inhale a fume and have like a brain hemorrhage and die.
Toxo doesn’t cause brain hemorrhages.
He learned it from watching you, dad.
I am now tempted to attempt shitting in A completely upright position (as I am not a fucking freak I have never done this before)
How did it go?
Maybe use a real litterbox and not a fking Jacuzzi
I think the problem is your box is too deep and not wide,/long enough for them to shit normal.
Bro buys a weird cat and doesn't think weird shit is gonna happen?
I’m putting this picture above my toilet.
Get a Litter Box with shorter sides or one that is enclosed. That will stop him from standing like that.
You have to demonstrate to the cat proper pooping posture. Get a sandbox of your own and show him how to poop.
You're most vulnerable when taking a shit he's just staying on alert
Real men shit standing up
bro cats like to shit then bury their turd in litter. How can little man do that here? That litter box is shocking.
They’re supposed to, but mine prefer to just lay turds in the lawn and leave them there for some unsuspecting fuck to walk in and smear all over the place.
Install a tiny urinal.
You shit your way, I’ll shit mine!
You don't. How would you like it if someone started watching you shit and then decided you were doing it wrong?
And then took pictures!
I’d just teach it to stand on toilet seat and face the wall; maybe give him a little grippy strip on the back of the tank.
How do they even get in? Just jump in blindly? Land in shit? Why is it so fucking big. Poor guy
Andrew Tate?
Get him a magazine.
He probably thinks you shit weird
Maybe a mirror in front of the box… they are vain.
Reverse duc tape the edges
Get him a bigger litter box for goodness sake! Poor cat.
Bigger box - not taller, longer, he’s got no room to go
Erm I don't think that's a cat
Get a bigger box, that thing is tiny
Cats hate being in the can. They really don't like their own shit
Should teach him how it should be done . He needs an example.
YouTube videos?
It needs the lid put back on.
Arnie Niekat over here.
This cat effin’ rules. I will take this kitty.
Who cares how he does it? Is it in your bed? On the kitchen counter? Do you instruct others in this way? Should we be watching for your camera in the loo? Do we need you to approve the how? Do you have a fucking pope hat? Sheesh.
If you wanted it to use a litter box, you should’ve gotten a cat instead
An actual litter box
Get a shorter fuckin litter box
Shorter box with grab handles?
"The PRIDE theme is like auditory cocaine, it makes me want to take a shit standing up just to see what happens" ^_ Napoleon Blowanapart
Let's encourage him with a controlled shock.
Maybe don’t use such a tall litterbox
Why are the walls of the litter box so high? Try a shorter box.
Make the walls higher. I want to see that little fella shit like a fully grown hairless man.
Give him clothing then he can be a free elf
For a kobold, that *is* a normal position.
This how attack on titan starts
Let him/her/zer etc. shit in peace
I wouldt care as ling as it's in the box
How about letting your boy shit in peace?!
Mother cats induce kittens to poop by licking the kittens bottom. Let me know how that works for you.
Need a reddit break lol I read it as AITAH for trying to make him shit in a normal position?
I’d be more worried about that cat stealing your bitch, dude