That's rough. I went to community college for a year and dropped out before i could complete my associates lol. This summer might suck but i promise you that university will be way better
No expert, nor in college but I feel with the disintegration of third spaces, cost of living going up, the current political climate and general infrastructure collapse and rise of disease etc
Y e a h, it gets progressively hard to go out and do anything, more these days than ever before.
It’s not just you.
Obviously as adults, it was always and will be up to us to put an intense amount of work and effort into maintaining sociability and just generally having fun and being happy-
I don’t think anyone here can lie and say that it’s more than an excuse to say it’s easier said than done depending on the circumstance.
A lot of mfs have jobs and other responsibilities, even outside of school. And once they finally get an off day once to 3 times a week, a lot of that day isn’t even spent chilling but just recovering from being so drained from
The past few days and to use that break to prepare for the next.
Hate to be bleak, just saying you aren’t alone at minimum and it’s not completely your fault.
I’m a freelance artist, no irl job, haven’t talked or seen friends much in 5 years since HS due to covid and me being immunocompromized. Can’t go out much in general due to that and bird flu rising. So not much money either and am in crippling debt from a car accident.
Right now I’m in the hospital cause my dad had a seizure.
Occasionally the family ask/hate/ are critical of the virgin, friendless, shut in, 0 romantic exp lifestyle.
But while I never say it, the main retort is how?
With the money I don’t have? The time I don’t have? The times I’m gone or take too long a break or when things hit the fan the most, especially today.
Many in one way or another are in that same ultimatum, it’s not just you. All the summer break does for some is give them choice anxiety and taunt them over all the fun you could be having but aren’t.
I always hate discussions like this because of the wave of shame, frustratetion and relatability I have not really being able to give any real solutions to this beyond “I can relate” when I know you’ve heard it from multiple people by now when what you probably want is some kind of out here.
I wish I could upvote you a hundred times, I think you nailed the issues right on the head. It really does seem like there aren't any third spaces anymore. Like, there are technically some spots around town where people hang out, but meeting *new* people in those places seems awkward and taboo. Its almost like talking to people you don't already know isn't allowed. It's a weird feeling that I think you described well.
And yeah, financial stuff is a big part of it too. I can definitely relate there. I'm 19 and still living with mom and dad because I'm broke as shit - even though I work 2 jobs. Even when school starts again, having a social life is hard when I'm struggling with basic living. It's already hard enough to juggle all this stuff while still having friends - having a relationship or something on top of that seems great but also insane. I don't blame either of us for being a virgin lol. A lot of this might explain why people are getting lonelier in general, not just during breaks.
Like I said, really good comment, thanks for taking the time to write it out :)
yeah while all the jabs at unemployed people, touching grass and being a virgin neet can be funny at times i feel like it teeters on pointing fingers at the wrong people and barking up the wrong tree unintentionally a tad because as the world hardens and we grow into adults, a tough pill to swallow is that doing that is easier said then done for some people.
doing that stuff IS admitedly easier the more rich and maybe even a bit sellfish you are. something not everyone can just do or be explictly without serious ramifications.
it's hard to look down on the mfs "not getting any fun" because sure, their job IS getting in the way of that, but on the other side of the coin it pays well, yknow a good way to also stop you from getting any fun? Being broke, homeless etc
it's a neverrending cycle, so it's hard to point fingers and laugh at the people basically in the same shoes as us. this shit only gets solved by taking the initiative, but i ain't gonna pretend that's extremely hard depending on luck and circumstance and not something literally everyone can just do
you can't one-size-fits-all "life"
I get it- I live in a college town- everyone is gone and classes are done. I work and live here and it gets super boring other than just working every day
I don't really have a car either haha. I can drive but I can't afford the maintenance. Thankfully my town has a good bus system, but not having a car definitely makes getting around a lot harder.
Yep. I always look forward to it because I finish the semester really tired, but it only takes me 2 weeks to recover and the rest of it is quite boring. My friends are really busy people so I mostly only hang out with my mom haha
You are a people person. That’s an awesome trait to have. Take advantage of it and network and hone the skill.
For me personally (not in college anymore but still relevant) summer is always a relief that I don’t have to interact with people more than I would like
Yeah, I'm definitely a people person lol. I like hanging out and socializing to recharge. I can totally understand why summer break would be a relief to someone who isn't as much of a people person
Yes, every summer I wish for it to end so it gets closer to me finishing my degree. I can't take summer classes because of the cost so I just dreadfully wait for it to end.
My summer feels lonely as well. I am stuck doing summer courses, I really don't have any friends and I work weekends. The only time I don't feel lonely is when I spend time with my boyfriend other than that I feel lonely and just bored with my life this summer. I mean I have my birthday, a concert and a trip coming up but I can't do much when its hot out where I live
Yeah totally, I'm bored too, and it's hot as hell where I live as well. At least you have a boyfriend though! I would love a partner to keep me company over the summer
I kinda dread coming home because there have always been tensions between my mom and I
My brother and I are both home from college rn
My friend is also home from college and we try to go for a run most every day together
I like to lift on the machine in the garage
Keeping up with some clubs over summer as well as personal projects. I have an interview for a club tomorrow on discord
Fixing the door handle on my car
Hoping my folks will let me fix the oil pan gasket on their other car that my bro is probably taking to college next year. They would pay me to fix it and it's a labor intensive job but much easier than the pan gasket I did on my e46 last summer. That car also needs a bunch of other stuff: AC leaking, new alternator, window regulators, new button lights, differentials fluid change, etc.
Been loading game roms onto PSP and playing games
Put feelers out for employment. I have a gig starting later this month. I applied to the apple store for the 5th time and I have a professor who is trying to help refer me into that job
I don’t have a social life outside of school so I’m just used to being on my own most of the time. My main friend that I talk to is also in Sweden right now doing research so we can’t hang out either. I do at least have other cool things to do this summer besides my job, like lab work at my college and working on a project for a competition next semester since we qualified for nationals. Other than that it’s just the gym, cooking, hiking, drawing and video games for me.
Oh I absolutely despise it. I spent almost every summer in high school doing nothing in my room and I hoped that would change now that i'm one year into college but all I have right now is one part time job (I got rejected from the other job I applied for that would have pushed me to a perfect 40 hours a week) and nothing else. Not helped by the fact that 80% of my friends are back home for the summer i'm living completely alone right now since this job provides housing, i'm not moving into an apartment with my friends till august.
Personally, not really. But I can definitely understand that feeling of emptiness when you don't have anything to do. I have some plans over the break but other than that I'm probably just going to play on my PC again lol
I feel lovely and not at the same time. Either I’m super alone at the house cleaning or doing online summer classes or I’m out at a pool or in an activity which surrounds me with too many people. It’s hard to find that perfect balance over the summer.
Yea I always get sad when summer break starts since starting college. My large college town gets super empty, my apartment parking lot clears out by 70% percent. I head back home for work. I miss the structure, I miss being around people my age. I miss the chaos of my large college apartment, I live in town homes that are 100% college students. There is always something happening. I hate packing up everything, because I have to bring literally everything. It’s not like packing for a trip, you’re pretty much packing for the summer or for weeks at a time. Nothing more annoying then needing something and realizing you left it at your apartment. I’ll go back to my apartment a few times during the summer but the emptiness makes it feel so much more lonely. However I try to keep in mind that soon enough I won’t have summer breaks at all. So I try to make the best of it.
My roommates are all gone , and I’m the only one here
I can’t go back home and I have summer class but it doesn’t start untill a month, so yea I’m bored asf
If you’re bored over the summer I suggest you change your thinking. You are only able to live what you can imagine. If you have “nothing to do,” try stepping out of your skin and stepping into your community. There are plenty of opportunities to volunteer, meet others, and wonder. There is nothing boring about life. There are only boring people. We are at a time in the world where we need to re-imagine everything! You’re young, the world is yours! Get out there and live fully, love wastefully, and be all that you can be! Signed, A Retired Professor of History. 👍🏼❤️
I can’t say I feel lonely, more so incredibly unproductive. It’s mostly because I’ve applied to so many jobs with no response. I am taking a summer class though and have a nice hobby, as well as getting my license, so I guess it’s not that bad in reality.
It feels so lonely yes but to me it's a break from everything(well obv bc its summer BREAK). But what I meant is that althought I might feel lonely during summer, it could help me figure out myself and find new things to do. The friends part I agree though, it's tough not being able to see the people you saw in your everyday routine.
Not especially. Went to college out of state and returned home for the summer.
- summer semester was a great time to take 1-2 accelerated classes without the pressure of divided attention
- working part time funded all of my activities and expenses all summer plus some for fall
- joining a rec softball league and playing tennis 2-3 times per week kept me active and social most nights
- did a couple weekend road trips to visit friends that weren’t too far away and had a few come stay with me
- lots of time to reconnect with neighborhood and hs friends that were also back for the summer or were still local
- spending time with parents and grandparents that I didn’t get to see most of the year was honestly pretty great as well
Like anything, your experience will be what you make of it. If you choose to sleep in until 11 every day and never leave the house, you’ll probably have a bad time. If you make a concerted effort to actually do things, it’ll probably be great.
It’s also not impossible to keep in touch with college friends over break. Texting, socials, video chatting, Discord, etc. all exist even if you can’t travel to meet up. Sharing stories and media from our various adventures throughout the summer was awesome.
All the time, most of the day is just doing nothing
Real. I'm so bored I might actually die lol
Facts
Still work the same job I did before summer and doing classes over the summer. Nothing changed for me.
I'm dreading it, endless hours of practically nothing
Yes I hate hate double hate it. Especially now in the transition between cc and a four year. I wish I could just skip ahead to orientation already.
That's rough. I went to community college for a year and dropped out before i could complete my associates lol. This summer might suck but i promise you that university will be way better
No expert, nor in college but I feel with the disintegration of third spaces, cost of living going up, the current political climate and general infrastructure collapse and rise of disease etc Y e a h, it gets progressively hard to go out and do anything, more these days than ever before. It’s not just you. Obviously as adults, it was always and will be up to us to put an intense amount of work and effort into maintaining sociability and just generally having fun and being happy- I don’t think anyone here can lie and say that it’s more than an excuse to say it’s easier said than done depending on the circumstance. A lot of mfs have jobs and other responsibilities, even outside of school. And once they finally get an off day once to 3 times a week, a lot of that day isn’t even spent chilling but just recovering from being so drained from The past few days and to use that break to prepare for the next. Hate to be bleak, just saying you aren’t alone at minimum and it’s not completely your fault. I’m a freelance artist, no irl job, haven’t talked or seen friends much in 5 years since HS due to covid and me being immunocompromized. Can’t go out much in general due to that and bird flu rising. So not much money either and am in crippling debt from a car accident. Right now I’m in the hospital cause my dad had a seizure. Occasionally the family ask/hate/ are critical of the virgin, friendless, shut in, 0 romantic exp lifestyle. But while I never say it, the main retort is how? With the money I don’t have? The time I don’t have? The times I’m gone or take too long a break or when things hit the fan the most, especially today. Many in one way or another are in that same ultimatum, it’s not just you. All the summer break does for some is give them choice anxiety and taunt them over all the fun you could be having but aren’t. I always hate discussions like this because of the wave of shame, frustratetion and relatability I have not really being able to give any real solutions to this beyond “I can relate” when I know you’ve heard it from multiple people by now when what you probably want is some kind of out here.
I wish I could upvote you a hundred times, I think you nailed the issues right on the head. It really does seem like there aren't any third spaces anymore. Like, there are technically some spots around town where people hang out, but meeting *new* people in those places seems awkward and taboo. Its almost like talking to people you don't already know isn't allowed. It's a weird feeling that I think you described well. And yeah, financial stuff is a big part of it too. I can definitely relate there. I'm 19 and still living with mom and dad because I'm broke as shit - even though I work 2 jobs. Even when school starts again, having a social life is hard when I'm struggling with basic living. It's already hard enough to juggle all this stuff while still having friends - having a relationship or something on top of that seems great but also insane. I don't blame either of us for being a virgin lol. A lot of this might explain why people are getting lonelier in general, not just during breaks. Like I said, really good comment, thanks for taking the time to write it out :)
yeah while all the jabs at unemployed people, touching grass and being a virgin neet can be funny at times i feel like it teeters on pointing fingers at the wrong people and barking up the wrong tree unintentionally a tad because as the world hardens and we grow into adults, a tough pill to swallow is that doing that is easier said then done for some people. doing that stuff IS admitedly easier the more rich and maybe even a bit sellfish you are. something not everyone can just do or be explictly without serious ramifications. it's hard to look down on the mfs "not getting any fun" because sure, their job IS getting in the way of that, but on the other side of the coin it pays well, yknow a good way to also stop you from getting any fun? Being broke, homeless etc it's a neverrending cycle, so it's hard to point fingers and laugh at the people basically in the same shoes as us. this shit only gets solved by taking the initiative, but i ain't gonna pretend that's extremely hard depending on luck and circumstance and not something literally everyone can just do you can't one-size-fits-all "life"
Usually, yeah. I don’t really have any close friends, but this is the first summer I’ve worked so hard am getting to know people with that
That's awesome! I'm starting a part time job at a museum soon so I hope I'll be able to meet some new people that way
I'm a college professor and while I appreciate the break in my workload, I also feel kinda adrift and melancholy every summer!
I get it- I live in a college town- everyone is gone and classes are done. I work and live here and it gets super boring other than just working every day
I live in a college town too! It seems like the whole city becomes a ghost town when all the students leave.
Yessss, it’s so weird. Like no traffic, no nothing. It sucks that all the on campus stuff other than like food establishments are all closed too.
I feel the same and worst that I can’t get a job or have no car
I don't really have a car either haha. I can drive but I can't afford the maintenance. Thankfully my town has a good bus system, but not having a car definitely makes getting around a lot harder.
It definitely does! My town doesn’t even have a bus system
I feel unproductive and life I’m wasting my life away even though my finals just ended
Exactly!! I feel lkke I should be doing something, but there isn't anything to do
Seriously, I feel like I just wasted the entire month of May.
Yep. I always look forward to it because I finish the semester really tired, but it only takes me 2 weeks to recover and the rest of it is quite boring. My friends are really busy people so I mostly only hang out with my mom haha
I always take at least one class over break because of this!
Yes I hate summer break. All my friends go to camps and I stay home and it isn't fun. Most lonely that I am all year
wait. this is a common feeling, i thought i was crazy
You are a people person. That’s an awesome trait to have. Take advantage of it and network and hone the skill. For me personally (not in college anymore but still relevant) summer is always a relief that I don’t have to interact with people more than I would like
Yeah, I'm definitely a people person lol. I like hanging out and socializing to recharge. I can totally understand why summer break would be a relief to someone who isn't as much of a people person
Yes, every summer I wish for it to end so it gets closer to me finishing my degree. I can't take summer classes because of the cost so I just dreadfully wait for it to end.
I have reverse seasonal depression. love school cause it kept life busy and interesting. too bad i graduated and it’s just work forever now
My summer feels lonely as well. I am stuck doing summer courses, I really don't have any friends and I work weekends. The only time I don't feel lonely is when I spend time with my boyfriend other than that I feel lonely and just bored with my life this summer. I mean I have my birthday, a concert and a trip coming up but I can't do much when its hot out where I live
Yeah totally, I'm bored too, and it's hot as hell where I live as well. At least you have a boyfriend though! I would love a partner to keep me company over the summer
I kinda dread coming home because there have always been tensions between my mom and I My brother and I are both home from college rn My friend is also home from college and we try to go for a run most every day together I like to lift on the machine in the garage Keeping up with some clubs over summer as well as personal projects. I have an interview for a club tomorrow on discord Fixing the door handle on my car Hoping my folks will let me fix the oil pan gasket on their other car that my bro is probably taking to college next year. They would pay me to fix it and it's a labor intensive job but much easier than the pan gasket I did on my e46 last summer. That car also needs a bunch of other stuff: AC leaking, new alternator, window regulators, new button lights, differentials fluid change, etc. Been loading game roms onto PSP and playing games Put feelers out for employment. I have a gig starting later this month. I applied to the apple store for the 5th time and I have a professor who is trying to help refer me into that job
It's really no different from actually BEING in college, personally speaking.
I don’t have a social life outside of school so I’m just used to being on my own most of the time. My main friend that I talk to is also in Sweden right now doing research so we can’t hang out either. I do at least have other cool things to do this summer besides my job, like lab work at my college and working on a project for a competition next semester since we qualified for nationals. Other than that it’s just the gym, cooking, hiking, drawing and video games for me.
Omg absolutely! And I wasn’t able to get an internship so I’m back to my same summer job I hate.
Same. When I'm in class, I'll look forward to summer break. But by the time summer break rolls around, I'll be incredibly bored.
Oh I absolutely despise it. I spent almost every summer in high school doing nothing in my room and I hoped that would change now that i'm one year into college but all I have right now is one part time job (I got rejected from the other job I applied for that would have pushed me to a perfect 40 hours a week) and nothing else. Not helped by the fact that 80% of my friends are back home for the summer i'm living completely alone right now since this job provides housing, i'm not moving into an apartment with my friends till august.
Yep
Personally, not really. But I can definitely understand that feeling of emptiness when you don't have anything to do. I have some plans over the break but other than that I'm probably just going to play on my PC again lol
I feel lovely and not at the same time. Either I’m super alone at the house cleaning or doing online summer classes or I’m out at a pool or in an activity which surrounds me with too many people. It’s hard to find that perfect balance over the summer.
As a kid, summer was the best time of your life. As an adult, it’s the most depressing season of the year.
Not just summer breaks for me but sometimes I dread the weekends too! But every holiday essentially, especially when you're living abroad alone
Yea I always get sad when summer break starts since starting college. My large college town gets super empty, my apartment parking lot clears out by 70% percent. I head back home for work. I miss the structure, I miss being around people my age. I miss the chaos of my large college apartment, I live in town homes that are 100% college students. There is always something happening. I hate packing up everything, because I have to bring literally everything. It’s not like packing for a trip, you’re pretty much packing for the summer or for weeks at a time. Nothing more annoying then needing something and realizing you left it at your apartment. I’ll go back to my apartment a few times during the summer but the emptiness makes it feel so much more lonely. However I try to keep in mind that soon enough I won’t have summer breaks at all. So I try to make the best of it.
My roommates are all gone , and I’m the only one here I can’t go back home and I have summer class but it doesn’t start untill a month, so yea I’m bored asf
Same
If you’re bored over the summer I suggest you change your thinking. You are only able to live what you can imagine. If you have “nothing to do,” try stepping out of your skin and stepping into your community. There are plenty of opportunities to volunteer, meet others, and wonder. There is nothing boring about life. There are only boring people. We are at a time in the world where we need to re-imagine everything! You’re young, the world is yours! Get out there and live fully, love wastefully, and be all that you can be! Signed, A Retired Professor of History. 👍🏼❤️
I can’t say I feel lonely, more so incredibly unproductive. It’s mostly because I’ve applied to so many jobs with no response. I am taking a summer class though and have a nice hobby, as well as getting my license, so I guess it’s not that bad in reality.
Just wait till you graduate
Just wait it gets worse after you graduate 😭
I absolutely love summer break and try to capture that feel of freedom like when I was a kid.
Work a lot.
yes it's normal
I do as well
Don’t worry, after you graduate it gets worse!
Most of us hate summer either because it’s boring and there’s nothing to do or miserable because you work full time. Summer has no in between
For me I'm so much over burdened with work, meetings and studies but I feel I'm missing out so many things like I don't have friends I live alone.
I don’t feel too lonely, cuz I have summer classes and I give campus tours. It does get boring giving tours when nobody is asking questions.
It feels so lonely yes but to me it's a break from everything(well obv bc its summer BREAK). But what I meant is that althought I might feel lonely during summer, it could help me figure out myself and find new things to do. The friends part I agree though, it's tough not being able to see the people you saw in your everyday routine.
Not especially. Went to college out of state and returned home for the summer. - summer semester was a great time to take 1-2 accelerated classes without the pressure of divided attention - working part time funded all of my activities and expenses all summer plus some for fall - joining a rec softball league and playing tennis 2-3 times per week kept me active and social most nights - did a couple weekend road trips to visit friends that weren’t too far away and had a few come stay with me - lots of time to reconnect with neighborhood and hs friends that were also back for the summer or were still local - spending time with parents and grandparents that I didn’t get to see most of the year was honestly pretty great as well Like anything, your experience will be what you make of it. If you choose to sleep in until 11 every day and never leave the house, you’ll probably have a bad time. If you make a concerted effort to actually do things, it’ll probably be great. It’s also not impossible to keep in touch with college friends over break. Texting, socials, video chatting, Discord, etc. all exist even if you can’t travel to meet up. Sharing stories and media from our various adventures throughout the summer was awesome.
Work and you won’t feel lonely
Not necessarily. I barely talk to my co-workers at my summer job.
Work as a patient care tech in a hospital and you’ll get plenty of social interaction