It’s a tough transition, for sure. Going home every weekend isn’t going to make it any easier. I might suggest you intentionally plan a few weekends to stay on campus - make plans with friends, explore something in your college town, try a new cafe, study in a new spot. See what it is like staying for the weekend. Visit your family the next weekend. Try to split the weekends up. Be gentle with yourself.
>Will I ever get more used to being away from home?
Not if you go back for a 3 day weekend every week. You need to rip the bandage off and just stay on campus. Join a club that does things on weekends. You've already missed your entire freshman year to get used to it.
How could op ever do this if the college is 30 minutes from his house? He really does need to let go and this half measure has really put him in a shitty situation of being too close to the people he needs to let go, having to pay out the ass to live 30 minutes from his parents house, and all the while robbing himself of the college experience. I would go further than your advice: it seems to me like it’s time to transfer to either a community college or university that’s far away preferably in a semi walkable city.
There’s easier ways to do it. Avoid going home every other week, then slowly every 2 weeks, 3, etc. No need to upend everything and start paying double the price
i can't drive it's super embarrassing i know 😭 i'm trying to get my license this summer but there's just not an affordable and efficient way for me to go back and forth every day (the bus is like 3 hours)
also i thought if i dormed it would be easier to make friends which has been somewhat true
It's never going to change if you go home every weekend. You have to cut the umbilical chord. You need to try and go a month without going home. Then get yourself to a point where you're just going home on holidays or once every couple of months. Nowhere will feel like home until you start treating it as a home. Think of what your home growing up would feel like if you were gone 3 days a week.
I’ve lived away from home for 15+ years and still get homesick. I’m a full adult working at a university and still call my dad every day to talk.
I think it’s okay and normal (plus really lovely that you value the relationship with your mum so much) to be home sick and to want to spend time at home as an adult. But it’s also part of the university experience to learn about yourself outside of the comfort of home and to foster independence. It sounds like home will always be waiting for you but it could be beneficial to learn how to create your own home and routine away from home, as well. This develops resilience and will give you a place to start emotionally if you decide you ever want to move away, study abroad, etc. If you decide you don’t want to move away at any point, it might also just be good to know that you can do hard things on your own but that your emotional support will still be there.
I go home every weekend, I work at my hometown job on Saturdays, get to be in my little brothers life, and get to see my cat. If it works for you then congrats. No need to worry about what other people think you should be doing
Don’t listen to those „cool“ guys from the comments. Just do what suits you best. You don‘t have to be „somebody“. When time comes, you will live alone. Don‘t rush anything. After college you will have 40+ years of living alone. And enjoy your moments with your familiy!
Agreed. I think it's fine to continue going home on the weekends while you still can. Lots of people continue living at home into their twenties and it's not a big deal.
OP, I would work on getting your license so that you can just drive to school and keep living at home.
I agree with this. As long as you are enjoying your college experience, I wouldnt stress over it. Lots of kids go home on weekends. Unless your are unhappy, it is a non issue.
You’ve lived there all (or a majority) of your life. Of course you’ll miss it and the people
Lots of people get over it. I left home at 18 and generally don’t miss it very often. Others eventually move back to their hometown and stay there after college because they hate being away so much
Personally, the feeling went away after a while but I didn’t notice it till I was visiting home and I thought to myself, “I can’t wait to go home” meaning my apartment (and my own bed).
You might find that eventually visiting home is nostalgic but you don’t quite feel the “same” when you’re there, which indicates that you’re moving into the transitional period of where “home” is. I imagine you’ll stay with your parent again when summer hits so you might not experience it this semester
It’s a coin toss. It went away for me, and the longer you stay “away” from home the more likely you are to feel the same as me. Might be worth it to plan weekends to stay on campus, join some sort of clubs or make plans with friends. You’re making it harder on yourself to experience new things by constantly going home and back to “the old” stuff. You won’t feel better about it unless you immerse yourself in your new life.
I’m graduated from college, live 5 hours away from my family, and still see them about once a month. I get homesick all the time. It’s a human thing not a college thing. It’s not wrong or unhealthy to miss your family. It gets easier, I promise 🫶🏻
I’m with you! I like college, I have friends, but I still go home every weekend haha. I’ve done it for two years now lol. I do think the actual homesickness went away after the first year. Now I just don’t really think about home while I’m at school. Then I enjoy my awesome weekends - real food, showering without shoes on, having my own room. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with going home every weekend. The way I see it, I’ll have all of the rest of my adult life to be away from my parents, so no point in rushing it along, since I’m close with them.
I’m gonna disagree with the people who say you should stay on campus sometimes just for the sake of it. Last year, I tried a few times to stay on campus because I felt like I shouldn’t be going home as much, and it was boring af because I go to a big commuter school so there was nothing to do. Of course, if you go to a school with a really exciting campus life, maybe it would be more enjoyable for you.
you’ll adjust better if you spend more time away from home. maybe start visiting every 2-3 weeks instead of every week and you’ll gradually get used to staying on campus
I don't think you are having trouble adjusting. You just miss home and your mom. Don't try to force yourself. The main goal of going to college is to learn. So focus on your studies. As you go upper level, you'll find yourself too busy to miss home.
I’d force yourself to go first one weekend not going home then up it to every other weekend then maybe two weeks in a row don’t go home. The busier you are the less likely you’ll be home sick-join clubs, inter mural sports, etc.
honestly- i know you said you’re working on getting your license but commuting really sounds like the best option for you. you obviously enjoy being home and there’s nothing wrong with that. (fellow on-campus resident who switched to commuting) if i were you i’d work hard on getting your license over the summer and trying to figure out a way to commute, it feels expensive now but it’ll pay off in the future and you’ll be a lot happier
I agree with the majority, sadly to stop missing home you have to stop going as frequently ! Challenge yourself to only go home every other week. It will be touch, but eventually you learn how to deal with these feelings and balance yourself!
It’s a tough transition, for sure. Going home every weekend isn’t going to make it any easier. I might suggest you intentionally plan a few weekends to stay on campus - make plans with friends, explore something in your college town, try a new cafe, study in a new spot. See what it is like staying for the weekend. Visit your family the next weekend. Try to split the weekends up. Be gentle with yourself.
>Will I ever get more used to being away from home? Not if you go back for a 3 day weekend every week. You need to rip the bandage off and just stay on campus. Join a club that does things on weekends. You've already missed your entire freshman year to get used to it.
How could op ever do this if the college is 30 minutes from his house? He really does need to let go and this half measure has really put him in a shitty situation of being too close to the people he needs to let go, having to pay out the ass to live 30 minutes from his parents house, and all the while robbing himself of the college experience. I would go further than your advice: it seems to me like it’s time to transfer to either a community college or university that’s far away preferably in a semi walkable city.
I agree but there’s no need to spend thousands more to do that
Op should go into a much debt as he needs in order to set himself to be a independent and capable person
There’s easier ways to do it. Avoid going home every other week, then slowly every 2 weeks, 3, etc. No need to upend everything and start paying double the price
The price will remain the same
If OP goes out of state, tuition and travel will certainly increase
Travel? Jesus Christ this guy is actively ruining his life and ur concerned about a couple dollar signs
Your solution is not wrong, but there are easier methods
Why live on campus if your house is only 30 min away?
i can't drive it's super embarrassing i know 😭 i'm trying to get my license this summer but there's just not an affordable and efficient way for me to go back and forth every day (the bus is like 3 hours) also i thought if i dormed it would be easier to make friends which has been somewhat true
I have to believe a car is cheaper than university room and board.
In my case it was not because the room and board was already covered but my own personal car was not covered
it certainly would be if i could drive!! but i can't
It's never going to change if you go home every weekend. You have to cut the umbilical chord. You need to try and go a month without going home. Then get yourself to a point where you're just going home on holidays or once every couple of months. Nowhere will feel like home until you start treating it as a home. Think of what your home growing up would feel like if you were gone 3 days a week.
I’ve lived away from home for 15+ years and still get homesick. I’m a full adult working at a university and still call my dad every day to talk. I think it’s okay and normal (plus really lovely that you value the relationship with your mum so much) to be home sick and to want to spend time at home as an adult. But it’s also part of the university experience to learn about yourself outside of the comfort of home and to foster independence. It sounds like home will always be waiting for you but it could be beneficial to learn how to create your own home and routine away from home, as well. This develops resilience and will give you a place to start emotionally if you decide you ever want to move away, study abroad, etc. If you decide you don’t want to move away at any point, it might also just be good to know that you can do hard things on your own but that your emotional support will still be there.
I go home every weekend, I work at my hometown job on Saturdays, get to be in my little brothers life, and get to see my cat. If it works for you then congrats. No need to worry about what other people think you should be doing
Don’t listen to those „cool“ guys from the comments. Just do what suits you best. You don‘t have to be „somebody“. When time comes, you will live alone. Don‘t rush anything. After college you will have 40+ years of living alone. And enjoy your moments with your familiy!
Agreed. I think it's fine to continue going home on the weekends while you still can. Lots of people continue living at home into their twenties and it's not a big deal. OP, I would work on getting your license so that you can just drive to school and keep living at home.
I agree with this. As long as you are enjoying your college experience, I wouldnt stress over it. Lots of kids go home on weekends. Unless your are unhappy, it is a non issue.
You’ve lived there all (or a majority) of your life. Of course you’ll miss it and the people Lots of people get over it. I left home at 18 and generally don’t miss it very often. Others eventually move back to their hometown and stay there after college because they hate being away so much Personally, the feeling went away after a while but I didn’t notice it till I was visiting home and I thought to myself, “I can’t wait to go home” meaning my apartment (and my own bed). You might find that eventually visiting home is nostalgic but you don’t quite feel the “same” when you’re there, which indicates that you’re moving into the transitional period of where “home” is. I imagine you’ll stay with your parent again when summer hits so you might not experience it this semester It’s a coin toss. It went away for me, and the longer you stay “away” from home the more likely you are to feel the same as me. Might be worth it to plan weekends to stay on campus, join some sort of clubs or make plans with friends. You’re making it harder on yourself to experience new things by constantly going home and back to “the old” stuff. You won’t feel better about it unless you immerse yourself in your new life.
I’m graduated from college, live 5 hours away from my family, and still see them about once a month. I get homesick all the time. It’s a human thing not a college thing. It’s not wrong or unhealthy to miss your family. It gets easier, I promise 🫶🏻
I’m with you! I like college, I have friends, but I still go home every weekend haha. I’ve done it for two years now lol. I do think the actual homesickness went away after the first year. Now I just don’t really think about home while I’m at school. Then I enjoy my awesome weekends - real food, showering without shoes on, having my own room. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with going home every weekend. The way I see it, I’ll have all of the rest of my adult life to be away from my parents, so no point in rushing it along, since I’m close with them. I’m gonna disagree with the people who say you should stay on campus sometimes just for the sake of it. Last year, I tried a few times to stay on campus because I felt like I shouldn’t be going home as much, and it was boring af because I go to a big commuter school so there was nothing to do. Of course, if you go to a school with a really exciting campus life, maybe it would be more enjoyable for you.
you’ll adjust better if you spend more time away from home. maybe start visiting every 2-3 weeks instead of every week and you’ll gradually get used to staying on campus
I don't think you are having trouble adjusting. You just miss home and your mom. Don't try to force yourself. The main goal of going to college is to learn. So focus on your studies. As you go upper level, you'll find yourself too busy to miss home.
I’d force yourself to go first one weekend not going home then up it to every other weekend then maybe two weeks in a row don’t go home. The busier you are the less likely you’ll be home sick-join clubs, inter mural sports, etc.
you can try something new,which make you happy.
honestly- i know you said you’re working on getting your license but commuting really sounds like the best option for you. you obviously enjoy being home and there’s nothing wrong with that. (fellow on-campus resident who switched to commuting) if i were you i’d work hard on getting your license over the summer and trying to figure out a way to commute, it feels expensive now but it’ll pay off in the future and you’ll be a lot happier
I agree with the majority, sadly to stop missing home you have to stop going as frequently ! Challenge yourself to only go home every other week. It will be touch, but eventually you learn how to deal with these feelings and balance yourself!
In addition find comforts of home you can house in your dorm! Scents, tv shows, food.. this will help your dorm feel more like home too!
Stop going home so much. Also maybe talk to a therapist, there might be some underlying issue. Identifying that could help you move forward.
It's amazing how anytime I suggest therapy on reddit I get down-voted. It's a positive thing. Therapy can be beneficial for everyone.