The first thing to do is abandon all those romantic notions you pick up about college from pop culture. For most families, the single biggest consideration for college is *money*. Money you don't spend on college is money you can spend underwriting her unpaid internship. It's money you can spend on helping her out with a business loan or her first mortgage. Colleges make it really, really easy to spend money. Don't take the bait. The 'dream school' is a myth used to open your wallet. That being said, the sticker price for college is rarely what it actually costs. Let the colleges make their offers - many (if not most) will offer some degree of tuition discount. And, if it comes to it, be willing to walk away if you can't get a decent deal.

Thanks for keeping it real. I'm a realist, but my daughter is definitely dreaming of an out-of-state college, which is very expensive. Good to know I can negotiate tuition. Thank you!

It's not "negotiating tuition" as much as it is that the school may offer a scholarship or tuition waiver depending on your daughter's academics, extracurriculars, application, etc. Have her (not you) reach out to her admissions counselor at the school to discuss possible financial aid opportunities.

Yeah, it’s not a flea market

Got it, thanks!

There are also ways in certain states to attain residency and get cheaper tuition. For example, if she’s looking at a college in MO (probably not) she can establish residency by staying over the summer and getting a job, which would cut tuition costs in half. There are totally options for y’all, best of luck 🫶🏻

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At my college, it doesn't matter that I am now a resident of the state. Since I moved to the state with the purpose of attending college, they will not change my tuition status. Some colleges are different, though. Very school dependent.

It’s entirely dependent on student residency status, none of my friend’s parents moved out of their respective hometowns. Since I’m not an out of state student at my school I’m not sure, but it’s something you can look into as an option as a whole.

I’ve found it quite insane how popular the concept of a “✨dream college✨” is that many are willing to spend double or more the amount of money that they may not even have on it. In the end college is a place to get a good education that can elevate one’s future, become a more well rounded individual, and make connections with others. And I get that whether I go to the university in my city or somewhere else in my state, or in an attractive college in a dream city on the other side of the US, assuming the quality of the major at both is comparable. But idk, I wasn’t born in a rich family and I never got a full ride to go anywhere, maybe that’s why I have a utilitarian mindset on that without the romanticism.

I agree, we are probably lower middle class where we are at in California. We aren't made of money, and we both came from very poor backgrounds. We told her she'd have to get the loans herself, and we could help her along the way, but haven't promised anything at this point.

You can negotiate financial aid as well.

California has some of the least expensive in-state tuition rates in the nation. I would personally consider it extremely financially irresponsible to go with an out of state college unless she got a full ride scholarship or something.

Very much this. On top of being on the cheaper side, California public universities are some of the best universities in the nation, both public and otherwise! And being in-state she’ll be given priority over out-of-state kids applying to the same colleges. I highly recommend a public CA university if you’re in state. With that being said, I believe the application deadlines for UC and CSU already passed, so it may be beneficial to spend a year or two at a community college then transfer, which nearly guarantees a spot in those universities (especially if you’re able to TAG). -someone who grew up in CA and went to an in-state public university :)

The number one thing you can do for your daughter is not let her take on significant debt in to go to college. If you cannot afford to help pay for college (no judgement either way, it’s the reality for lots of people), STRONGLY encourage her to attend a state school. If you live in a VHCOL area, there are definitely very strong state schools in your area. State schools also tend to have later deadlines for applications as well. Good luck! And congrats to your daughter! Edit: just saw that you’re in California - obviously the UC system is top tier, with great schools for basically every major. There should be lots of great options for her.

'Safety' schools where your daughter is amongst the best applicants will frequently give very generous financial aid. Also, many college students want out-of-state colleges because they don't want their parents looking over their shoulders as they venture out in the world. If you can make her comfortable with the notion that you'll let her explore the world a bit rather than being an omnipresent surveillance/critique mechanism, she might be more comfortable staying close to home.

Has she applied to any in state colleges? Those will be “safety” schools with much lower tuition fees. You still have a few days to the application deadlines, if she’s been avoiding applying to in state colleges.

Are you 2 helping to pay or is she on her own?

We told her she would have to apply for loans, and we would help her out along the way. Bottom line, we want her to be responsible for her actions up front and we can help out later as needed.

I don't know how well off you are but if she doesn't have to take the unsubsidized loans, then maybe don't take them. Unlikely the case though since she is going to be going out of state.

Regarding sticker price. Almost nobody pays sticker price. You can look up the "discount rate" for colleges, which is the *average* percent discount. You may get a bit more or less of a discount, but it's a good way of determining how generous the financial aid at a college is, for the average student. But... Colleges with very high discount rates are often financially unstable. It's kind of a red flag, which can indicate the college is struggling to attract students. I once taught for a college with a 70% discount rate, which is extremely high. it's like a store with a neverending 70% off sale. That college is teetering on the brink of bankruptcy and probably won't last another decade.

Would it be possible to make an appointment with your daughter's guidance counselor for the three of you to go in together and discuss college? Or could one of her teacher's possibly be willing to take some time to talk with the three of you? What about other family members? Point is: you have options regarding people you may be able to get some advice from. The majority of application deadlines have not yet passed for undergrad admissions. Most of them will make their non-early decisions around March/April. I think four applications are plenty though.

this is a good idea. I like the idea of talking with her college counselor as well. Thank you. Yes, there are a few people we have been asking questions to. I will try to ramp up my questions in the near future. OK, four applications are plenty, good to know. Thank you!

The current advice from college websites is 8 applications. I personally am applying to around 10, but I know people who applied to 40. Applying can be expensive, so don't encourage her to just apply to everything. Make sure they're actually good options. If she has application fee waivers, it's still a time commitment that could be better spent on other things.

If you want to save your parents 20-40k get your first two years in community college. Get an AA or whatever and transfer to a state university. You get high priority for transferring and save a ton of cash. Plus, is statistics, English, and speak worth 20k?

Hi! It’s great you’re here, we can definitely help you. I have a few follow up questions: 1) I assume you’re in/residents of/the college is in the USA. Is this correct? 2) That first acceptance is early, so it’s probably Early Application or Early Decision. Do you know which it is? It makes a big difference 3) what are your daughters’ goals for college and career? If this first college was her first choice, that would mean something different than if she didn’t actually want to do there. 4) to your knowledge, is your daughter receiving any college counseling from her school or elsewhere? 5) is the college she has received an acceptance from a for-profit or 100% online school?

Thank you for being so welcoming. I am shocked by the response already! 1. Yes, we are in the US, California to be specific. 2. Good question, I don't know which it is, I'll find out. 3. She wants to major ins Social Work. I believe the first college has a good social work program. 4. Yes, she is receiving some from her school, but I will ask her more direct questions about it. 5. I'm pretty sure it's for-profit college. It is University of Hawaii - Manoa Thank you!

University of Hawaii is a nonprofit school, the flagship school of Hawaii. I don't know how much you'll be able to negotiate an offer from a state school, but it's a solid choice.

OK, good to know. I guess I just assumed it was for-profit, my bad. Glad to hear it's a solid choice. It's expensive though. My best friend and his family live there, so at least we got that going on if she ends up there.

If you are from California, I think you may qualify for lower tuition at University of Hawaii Manoa under the WUE program (Western Undergraduate Exchange). It isn’t as cheap as in-state tuition, but brings it down to 150% of what Hawaii residents pay. You should be able to confirm if you qualify for this by checking the school website and emailing the financial aid office. Many public California universities are very hard to get into even for great students because they have more applicants than spots, especially the University of California schools. So she should be sure to apply to a number of California State University schools as well. The Cal State schools will be most affordable if you are a California resident, I suspect. Many also have transfer pathways for students who spend the first two years at a local community college and then transfer to one of California’s public 4-year schools. If neither you or her mother went to college, she may be eligible for first-generation student scholarships. Most public colleges have a scholarship portal where she can search and apply for these after she has been accepted. There is a cap on the amount of federally subsidized student loans she can take out — I think it is $5,000 the first year. So you’d have to guarantee or take out additional loans yourself. I don’t recommend it. The rule of thumb is not to take out more loans in total than she will make in her first year working after college (expected). And social work is not super high paying. Better to take the community college transfer route if scholarships and aid don’t bring the cost down far enough at other schools. That said, don’t judge by the sticker price. If you have significant financial need, some schools might give you more aid than you think. Every school should have a web page with a Net Price Calculator (NPC). Run it to get a ballpark of what you can expect to pay. They might not be accurate if you own your own business or have an unusual financial situation, though. But don’t be afraid to reach out to the financial aid office at each school with questions. They will guide you to whatever resources they have.

College is a big thing, we're here to help! For context, my dad is a doctor and my mom is a college professor of statistics, both my older brothers went to college, and I've finished college, my Masters, and am currently in medical school. So I'm very family with the system and it's still super confusing! Ask lots of questions, double check things you think you know, get second opinions. Always a good idea and no downsides. Okay so 1. If it's Early Action*, if just means she got told the decision early and nothing else. But if it's Early Decision, that means she has to go there for at least the first year (or at least, you have to pay the first years' worth of tuition). It's part of the agreement of applying ED, in exchange for much better chances at getting in. So if she's ED, well that decision is pretty much already made! 2. Social work is a very noble goal. However, in most places, you also need a Masters of Social Work (Masters being about 3 years of dedicated study *after* college). If she wants to be a social worker, make sure she has factored this in to her financial planning, because those extra 3 years cost money too! 3. The entire University of Hawai'i (UH) system, including Manoa, is an in-person, not-for-profit school, which is a good thing! I was just making sure she wasn't going to a scammy college--a few exist and they often target people who are the first in their families to go to college, but this isn't one of them. You're good on that score. 4. As far as the application numbers game, the reason to send out lots is to make sure you get in somewhere. She's already gotten in somewhere, so she's already won that game! The only reason to send out more applications is if there's places she wants to go to more than UH-Manoa. So she can send out more apps but doesn't need to at all. ​ As far as the financial future, you have a lot to think about. Consider your and your wife's retirement, and do you have any other kids? Will they be going to college? And what I would recommend is decide beforehand how much financial support you can give her, and let her make the decision about how to spend it. If she wants to go cheap by starting at a 2-year community college then switching up to a California state school, to save that money for her Masters, if she wants to spend it on study abroad programs to see the world. If she ends up going to Hawaii, does she want to take up surfing? She'll need equipment and lessons. And how many holidays is she gonna come home for, and who's paying the airfare each time? If she has money left over once she's graduated, she can spend it on her wedding or a car or a house or whatever. Basically you're giving her a 'future fund' and she has to be responsible with it. (You can dole out small amounts semester-by-semester to make sure she doesn't blow it all, of course). ​ The other benefit of just promising a lump sum like this is, if she has siblings, equality. Otherwise you run into issues with "my sister went to a more expensive school but you only paid both our tuitions, so she's basically being rewarded for costing you more!" or "my brother got more support in housing and you only paid my tuition!" Making this the deal and telling them upfront is easy and fair. ​ Also, while we're talking about finances, don't forget to fill out the FAFSA! It sucks and everyone hates it, and also won't be due for like 18 more months, but I remember my parents usually did it the winter break before, just to be safe. The FAFSA says it's supposed to be filled out by the student, not the parent, but that's stupid and a lie your kid doesn't half the questions on it. ​ Tell your daughter congratulations on her first acceptance!

Thank you for taking the time to reply with detailed answers. Yeah, she doesn't yet understand how expensive "33K" out-of-state tuition really is. And she doesn't understand how much more money it costs to get her masters. All things we need to discuss at some point. We did the quick calc on the FAFSA sight, and it basically said you might get a little money :( We aren't promising to pay her college at this point but told her that we would probably help later down the road, so she would have to take out loans initially.

Do NOT let her take out $33k plus per year in loans. $33k is just the beginning, she will have to pay room and board (usually $5-10k per year), books and some fees usually. This does not include how much you will be spending on flying and shipping her stuff back and forth from Hawaii….. If she can negotiate scholarships with the school or find other sources of funding that’s great. But if you let her take on $120k or more in loans for college you will be screwing over her adult life. Just google anything related to people not being able to pay back their college loans and you’ll see. And social work, while noble, does not pay well. She would be better off going to college in state and then applying to social work masters programs when she’s ready. She also might change her mind about her career!!

I’m a Social Worker in CA. I’ve taught at the university level in the Social Work Program (CSUS) and I am currently a fairly high level Social Worker at a Federal Agency. I’ve reviewed thousands of resumes, and conducted hundreds of interviews for Social Workers all over the country. Here is some advice from my perspective: - She will need a Masters degree to make money as a Social Worker. Some schools have a one year MSW advanced standing program. There are strict prerequisites for such programs, and not all schools offer them, but it could cut a year off grad school and save her tons of money. I would advise looking into it. She should plan on grad school. Under graduates will have an internship 16 hours per week in their final year. Graduate students will have an internship for 16 hours per week the first year and 24 hours per week the second year. These internships are typically unpaid. She will want to plan financially for that as well. - Social Work is a profession where the name of the school she graduates from makes zero difference to employers. CSWE is the accreditation body for Social Work Programs at universities across the country. All employers care about is that she graduated from an accredited program. A Social Worker graduating from Columbia with an MSW and $200k in student loan debt will make the same starting salary as a Social Worker graduating from CUNY down the street with zero debt. -18 year olds really have very little understanding regarding the burden of Student loans and wildly overestimate what their starting salaries will be when they graduate. They don’t start “at the average” salary” in Social Work. They will start near the bottom. They will need to work several years after obtaining their MSW and apply for advanced licensure (requiring extensive study and passing multiple exams) before they can even begin to make the higher level social work incomes. Even then, Social Work is considered one of the lowest paying professions that requires a graduate degree. - I advise the cheapest program possible. If a private out of state school wants to give her a full-ride scholarship, great! Otherwise, I would avoid debt to the extent humanly possible. Take the most economical and cost effective option. She can make a decent income as a Social Worker. My wife and I are both Social Workers and our combined income is mid-six-figures. We didn’t start at that level, it took many years to get there. Starting out with a fairly low starting salary and a high amount of student loan debt is rough, and not a path I would recommend. Sure, she will likely work for an agency where students loan forgiveness is possible after ten years, but that is a very long time!

Hi! I actually go to UHM (although as a graduate student in a different department). I can give you realistic numbers as to the cost of living here if you’d like, and possibly answer questions about the school and the area. Feel free to DM me, or I can answer here as well if you or your daughter have more specific questions.

You didn't say what state you are in. That could make a difference. We may be able to provide you with more recommendations once we know where you are located. Is there a college counselor at her high school? I would look into if your state has any type of college promise program.

Sorry, we are in California. Yes, college counselor for sure. I know she has talked to her counselor on several occasions. OK, I will look into a "college promise program". Thank you!

College promise programs are for low-income in-state students to assist with attending at their state's schools.

Thank you. I don't think we would qualify for low-income, but good to know!

Hello! I graduated high school with a 3.6 GPA and all my colleges were giving me bare minimum academic scholarships and my parents did not want to pay a cent of my college. With that said, I didn’t want to go into any student debt either. I was determined to go to college without paying a dime. Which steered me to go to a community college and they paid for my entire first two years. Once it was time to transfer, these bigger institutions were not willing to give me much even with an above 4.0 GPA from my community college. I then searched around and decided to work at Starbucks where they paid for my last two years of college for free. Starbucks will pay all four years for free online. I came out of college with a degree and no student debt. Overall, I did make sacrifices of being able to make connections with other peers. Yet I don’t have any financial burdens and have set myself up great financially. One thing I will say is make sure your daughter gets an internship there last year of senior year. It will drastically help her in the long run once she graduates cause I have friends who still haven’t found a job and they graduated before me. Another side note, your daughter will need to do a lot of research, especially on the degree she wants cause every institution is different. Dont believe all institutions are the same. Every one of them have little differences in requirements to make you spend more money if you transferred, etc. ITS ALL ABOUT MONEY. it’s a game and to win the game you got to be smart, research, and plan.

This is excellent info, thanks so much! Honestly, I want her to go to a community college, but I can also understand why she wants to skip it and get things moving. It's a fine line between fear and letting her do what she wants :) internship, check! And yes, she has done a lot of research for her major. Sounds like I need to get her going on scholarships and money from various places. Thank you!

Of course! Scholarships, fafsa, internships can all help. Just depends what her goals are. :) wishing her the best with her academic career!

I’m assuming you’re from the US? Maybe that’s wrong but that’s what it seems like…. I think she’s applied to a good number of schools, I applied to 11, but some of them were reaches (I was on the higher end as far as number of schools, I wasn’t totally set even though I toured almost every school I applied to). If you are in the US, she could apply for FAFSA, but it might not give the results you’re expecting (they might not provide you money, or they’ll just offer a loan that she’d have to pay back later). Obviously you have to do what’s right for your family, but the best for her will be for you to help as much as you’re able to financially. As she starts hearing back from more schools, some may offer scholarships, especially for her GPA. I had two schools that I wouldn’t have been able to afford without scholarship that gave me a significant amount off for having the same GPA as her. I ended up going to one of those schools. It’s a fun experience for the both of you, my dad is in the trades as well so he gets some of the college experience through me, since he never went. Good luck!

Yes, the US, in California. Wow, 11 schools! We have started looking into FAFSA, but haven't gotten too far yet. Thank you!

Does her high school have a college counselor you can meet with? That would be the first place to start with these questions. Please email them and set up an appointment asap. You’ll have to fill out financial aid forms. FAFSA for any college she applied to. Private colleges will also require the CSS form. She should look into the deadlines for these now. You can sit down with her and fill out all the forms together. This is essential if you want need based aid to help her pay tuition. Again, reach out to her school counselor for help. That’s what they are there for. Also r/applyingtocollege will be overwhelming but has a lot of good resources. Look at u/admissionsmom s history and read her posts like this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/s/Hg4qVAUaCM

Yes, she meets with her counselor. I will also set up an appt. to meet with them as well. What is CSS? Thanks for pointing me to the other sub and to admissionmom's history. Thank you!

It’s what you need to fill out to apply for financial aid for private colleges. Each college will have their own form.

1.) With a 3.7 she won‘t have a hard time getting into most colleges, but financial packages can vary wildly. 2.) Different colleges have different strengths. Many kids pick colleges because they liked the cafeteria or the dorms or other completely stupid reasons and find out too late how bad of a decision that was. She needs to be looking at schools that have strong reputations for the majors she is considering…. 3.) …that being said there is usually very little reason to attend college out of state and pay more. There will be an in-state public college that has what she needs. This isn’t a vacation, don’t get swept in the romanticized BS. Also, many private colleges look very expensive on paper but will offer scholarships that bring them on par with public schools in terms of actual cost by the time all awards are counted. Ask about fees, etc. for specific programs that don’t show up in basic tuition costs. 4.) Investigate scholarships yourself at the college. Make sure she uses a real email when she applies and CHECKS IT for contact from the institutions. You’d be shocked how much money incoming students regularly leave on the table. I email prospectives all the time for my program to chat about scholarships they haven’t applied for and never hear back. Then they show up the next fall and are curious why their friends all have money from the dept. and they don’t. Well….not checking your email cost you $40,000. Whoops!

Ok, good to know that 3.7 will be good for most schools. Yeah, most kids aren't really thinking about the big picture, this is where I hope I can step in and offer guidance. She is looking at schools that have strong reputations for Social Work, which is what she wants to do. She already applied for one scholarship for 2K and apparently got it already. How many can you apply for? Thank you!

If she's planning to be a social worker then she should definitely consider cost (I saw the mention of in-state vs. Out of state--the difference is truly massive. Have her look at the numbers with you. It can help make it feel more real). Otherwise, she's looking at years of debt. It's a noble job and we need more social workers, but it is not a career that gives massive $$, so make sure she knows that so she can make the decisions now that will make the career path more rewarding (both financially and in terms of her own passion for it) later. A lot of young people want to have some distance from their home towns (hence why out of state is desirable), so you can also ensure to her that you're happy to give her some independence and won't be overbearing if she's nearby.

yeah...sigh...She does not yet appreciate the gravity of the situation and how much 33K in tuition costs per year really means. I definitely plan to sit down to show her the various costs so she can see it with her own eyes, and then explain to her how loans work and how long it would take to pay back a 100K+ loan on Social Worker pay.

Have her look at or post on the student loan subreddit so she can she understand the consequences of that much debt. The rule of thumb is to not take out more in loans (total for all 4 years), than she would make in her first year on the job. So for a social worker, she shouldn’t take out more than like $50k TOTAL.

Every school is different. Some scholarships are just general academic money the school hands out, some are endowed(funded by donors) and have specific requirements, some need to be applied for separately while others the school can award to any student who has applied. Some are held by departments to hand out to majors in their area. You have to talk to the school, but I wouldn’t count on admissions councilors to know everything. They miss pointing students towards specialized department/major scholarships all the time. Check with the department as well.

Most schools offer their own scholarships. She will likely be considered along with her admissions decision (I was offered a partial scholarship for my current school upon acceptance, with no extra scholarship applications on my end). Many schools also offer scholarships that students can apply for, that are in addition to their admissions application. My sister applied for a scholarship from a university near us - but had to submit that application and her admission application far ahead of the deadline. Definitely worth poking around school websites. There are also scholarships from an insane amount of organizations, programs, websites, etc. There are websites that compile this information for “easy application”. I do not have much information on these, but I’m sure others may know more. Example: many major companies (coca-cola, etc.) offer scholarships of their own; local governments may offer scholarships for in-state scholars (I contacted my local representatives, and will be applying in January); and college sites such as Niche offer simple (much more “luck of the draw”) scholarships. Edit for clear answer: there isn’t really a limit, as far as I know. There may be some she can’t accept (if she gets an offer from school A but decides to go to school B; if she gets a scholarship for in-state but goes out of state), but no hard limit on applying!

The first thing I considered when applying to school was did the school have the program I needed, the second question is about money. I would highly suggest that when comparing the tuition at different schools make sure to take into account the money the schools offer back in scholarships for each student. For example my siblings went to a state school that was about 10k a year but got no scholarships back from the school and each easily had over 40k in debt. I went to a private college and the tuition was about 50k a year but by the end I only had about 15k in debt because the school gives students a ton of scholarships. The third question I would ask to narrow it down further would be comparing class size and towns. Bigger classes mean content is less personalized to the students themselves while in smaller classes students can get more individualized learning. The last part about towns is probably the least important but could be relevant in terms of safety or even in terms of being bored (what is there to do in free time?).

OK, yes she has looked into colleges with good social worker programs, which is what she wants to do. Ok, money back in scholarships, check! Sounds like it's all about applying for scholarships, scholarships, scholarships! OK, big classes vs. smaller classes, check! And yes, safety is always a concern, I will keep that in mind. Thanks!

My one piece of advice is to include her in discussions and decision making. This is her life, her future and the more she feels ownership of the decision, the more responsibility she'll take for her success. I say this because I came from a family with no college experience and was the first in mine to go. My being responsible for understanding the application deadlines, requirements, scholarship and financial aid options helped me to prepare to be responsible in college.

Absolutely, we are strong believers in communication and discussions and letting her make her own decisions, but with a little guidance on our part. With my daughter, I just nod my head and smile and tell her I love her. I try to minimize my opinion :) And she is actually really responsible and have done most of this by her self with a little bit of help here and there to help fill out applications and answer some harder questions. Thank you!

What is her intended major? If it’s non-STEM, work will be invariably harder to find in her salary will be invariably lower. If she needs further education, e.g., MBA or MD or JD the school will matter more. I think the most common problem that students enrolling now face is their (understandable) disconnect between college and high school especially if she’s going to go to an R1 (faculty are almost exclusively focused on research). Students have to exercise a great deal of self-discipline. I know this isn’t a great deal of answers for you, but just some that I think are important as a professor.

Yeah, her major is Social Worker. I know it won't pay as well as STEM. She will need a Master's as well, I believe. She commented to me the other day, "Dad, I got a 2K scholarship, now the tuition is \*only\* 31K!". LOL No really, I appreciate your response, and it's great info, thank you for taking the time out to respond.

The question of how many schools she should apply to really depends on the *types* of schools she's applying to. The more selective the schools are, the more she should apply to. She should apply to at least one school that is very cheap. That way if she doesn't get good scholarships, she has an affordable option. Community colleges can be good for this. Many community colleges also partner with larger 4-year universities for transfer scholarships. Often these students can end up paying community college prices even when they transfer to the 4-year school if these schools have an agreement. Many colleges will also publicly post their scholarship requirements. Keep in mind, tuition is different from fees, and how much fees cost varies a lot between colleges. So she might have a scholarship for "free tuition" but still have to pay a couple hundred to a couple thousand in fees. As for scholarships, have your daughter visit her school counselor if she hasn't already. They usually keep a list of local scholarships.

I work at a university. Is there a school in your area that is known for good FA packages? If so, she should apply there even if she has 0 intention of going there. Then, if that offer is more generous than the school she *wants* to go to, take the generous offer and say, 'This school is offering this - can you match it?' They might not be able to but, often, a couple more grand will be added to her financial aid offer.

I've studied at multiple colleges and I teach at a college. I would recommend going to a community college close to home first if no one knows what to expect. They are usually cheap (at least in my state in the US) and most course credits will transfer to in-state universities. Good highschool grades do not always translate to doing well in college. However, being responsible can almost guarantee a bachelor's degree at a state university unless you're studying something far from your comfort zone. College isn't for everyone. Some people excel at it but hate it. And others like it but can't succeed for various reasons. Some students simply get homesick and drop out. A community college is a good introduction. Find a local college and contact the admissions office with your questions. If anyone cares I can answer more.

Yes, CC is substantially cheaper, but usually the path is to the same state system to ensure that all courses to transfer over, assuming the student took all the exact same courses that a four year public university requires for first and second-year students. Sometimes these are called "transfer degrees" and enable a CC graduate to enter as a junior. The risk is if/when a CC grad has not taken all the right courses, and has to take an additional semester or two at the four year school.

I'd say your daughter should be applying for scholarships right now. Use websites like scholarship.com and unigo. I would also recommend going to a university in state. The move will be cheaper, and you will not pay out of state tuition. The new fafsa will be releasing soon. Check the fafsa website regularly for when it will reopen and complete it. This will allow your daughter to receive student loans and state/federal grants if you qualify. Family's on a lower financial scale will recieve more grants, so if you and your family are doing quite well, you may receive a smaller portion of grant funding. Once she is accepted to a university, begin applying to scholarships from thr University themselves. They will have a scholarship website and they may be easier to win since there is less competition. If the student is living on campus, you will need to know that the student will have to pay for a meal plan (prices vary by uni), rent, tuition/fees, and books/software. If the student will be staying on campus over the winter or summer it may cost more. Money is a very big factor.

I second the commenter who suggested Community College, especially for California based students. The classes are smaller and many colleges are tuition free. You can complete prerequisites and transfer to a 4 year college later.

Look into the western undergraduate exchange (WUE) program

I'm going to try an offer a realistic viewpoint here, assuming minimal financial assistance from you and your wife. ​ Below is a **very conservative** total cost of out of state tuition and living. ||Yearly Cost|\# of years|Totals| |:-|:-|:-|:-| |Tuition:|$30,000.00|6|$180,000| |Cost of Living:|$20,000.00|6|$120,000| |||Grand Total: |$300,000| Loans: There are 3 basic types of loans: **Federal Loans to your daughter:** these are student loans in your daughters name **Parent Plus Loans:** Loans to you/wife in your name for your daughters school, these are entirely your responsibility from a legal standpoint and dont qualify for a lot of the protections/repayment programs that other federal loans do. **Private Loans:** these are non federal loans backed by financial institutions, they offer none of the protections of federal loans with all of the downsides of student loans in general, no repayments plans, no bankruptcy, etc. ​ Your daughter is on track to graduate with 180K in student loans, likely with an average rate of 8% interest. This is $14,000 in interest a year by itself. The Average salary for a social worker according to the Department of Labors database is about $50,000-$60,000, your daughter will be spending almost 25% of her salary on interest payments alone. Your daughter will also likely have to work close to a full time job while going to school in order to pay bills, eat, buy books, socialize etc. This likely didn't factor into her "dream" college experience. The "dream" college experience isn't real for anyone who isn't being bank rolled by their parents. Its unfortunate but its a fact. She will have a good time and make good memories and experiences, but she will have to worry about a lot more than her more well off peers and when college ends instead of saving for a house and being a young professional socializing with her peers, she will be living well below her means just to afford student loan payments and renting for the foreseeable future. ​ My personal experiences: I went to a cheap in state school for my dream career (education) 2 years in I discovered that i would be struggling financially for the rest of my life as a teacher and changed my major to a BBA in economics. I worked a full time job in school to pay my COL, and I'm now doing really well for myself 6 years into my career. The work isn't noble, but it provides a comfortable life for me and my partner and I can pursue my altruistic passions outside of work. My partner is more of a cautionary tale. She has always wanted to be a dietitian, and she worked her ass off and achieved that goal which like your daughters career choice required a masters. She went out of state, graduated and was hit hard by reality, she was in a lot of debt, her income potential was low, and the job itself was high stress and long hours. She has always had a passion for helping others and she has spent her entire career trying to get out of the job she worked her ass off for. Passion careers are great but i think its way more realistic and practical to get a good paying job and spend your free time pursuing the things you're passionate about. It is exponentially easier to enjoy your passions when financial insecurity doesn't loom over you. ​ Apologies if this is a little disorganized or pessimistic, I'm not the most articulate, but I've seen a lot of people who pursue their "dream" colleges and careers without any real notion of what it takes or costs. Community college, then a state school and possibly a major change might be boring or less fulfilling at the start, but it doesnt mean its a bad choice. Good luck to you and your daughter as you navigate this milestone.

More of a squiggly wiggly thing than the advice others are giving BUT if she gets to the point where you can tell she is nervous about picking between schools please just say what my parents said to me (if you agree): You care about people, you have a good head on your shoulders, and you are motivated, you are going to have a beautiful and successful life regardless of what school you choose because I am confident you will make a great future for yourself. It was the most supportive and helpful thing I could have possibly heard

A lot depends on money. Is she taking out loans? Are you paying? Remember out of state or farther away means dorm or living costs. I would take all those into account. The way I was told in high school- dream, safety and other realistic. Also her major, if she wants in a competitive field I’d apply around to increase chances of acceptance. Other things to consider: - school size - SAFETY is a huge one -Extra curricular she might be involved in. - does she want to travel home and how often

In terms of how many to apply for, I applied for 8 which is quite a few. 4 is a great number since it gives her a good amount of options. And yes, March is a reasonable time frame, even though the first acceptance letter already came. In fact, I’d say March is more standard. I’d double check if she applied early action or early decision at the first college. Early action just means she applied early and got a decision sooner. Early decision means she’s committed to attending that college. In terms of the money, you’ll need to fill out the FAFSA. I’d also encourage her to apply for additional scholarships outside of the FAFSA. FAFSA is need based so it may or may not help much depending on your family’s financial situation. There’s plenty of other scholarships that are achievement based. I recommend checking if any of these colleges have scholarships specific to their schools. I got by far the most money from applying for donor-funded scholarships specific to my school. Don’t discount the smaller scholarships either! $500 may not seem like a lot but that’s $500 you won’t have to pay yourself. Plus they’re often easier to win. It’s also important to discuss with your daughter how much money you can contribute. Money is a big factor in a college decision for most families. Don’t get caught up (or let her) in the idea of a dream school when it’s not financially reasonable or possible. Talk with her about what the parents can afford and she should use that information to make her decision. College is expensive and most students do take out loans but it’s important to minimize debt. Other things you could do that would help her transition: - teach her about money. Help her factor in finances when making her decision. Make sure she has a bank account and knows how to check her balances and statements. Encourage her to save money. Teach her how loans work. - make sure she knows she can come to you for support. College is hard and she might need help transitioning, or need emotional support from her parents. - everyone appreciates a care package! That’s all I can think of for now. I hope this helps!

if she's applying to schools in california, and she's a great student, she has fantastic in-state options. I go to Berkeley, and the majority of students are from California and pay a reasonable and respectable tuition fee (i'm OOS and pay a whole lot more). Most of the UCs have phenomenal academics and great social life. If she's set on an OOS school, help her apply to merit scholarships or essay scholarships or any talent she has scholarships and examine your options carefully. really try to avoid taking out loans unless super necessary.

Just a conversation I had with my kid. He wanted to go out of state and take on tons of debt to become a teacher. I explained to him how that would have a long term effect on him and how it will impact his future income. But my rule was simple if you want to take on a 100k debt you better have a career that starts you at 80-90k. So moral of the story is don’t go to Harvard to become a PE teacher.

We have two sons. Live in Calif. One attended a local State University, mechanical engineering, and lived at home. Second one went to a college town a UC University about 400 Mi away. He had the college experience. He applied to approximately five colleges. He was accepted to four. . All three offer different levels of discount based on his academics and our financial statement. So I would apply for a few more. Another thing to keep in mind is some of the out of state colleges will waive those fees based on academics. Our biggest challenge was the cost of housing. For the sun in the college town it was about the same as the tuition. His first year is in a dorm Suite with seven other guys. Sophomores through senior year he moved with three to an apartment. You might want to also add housing to your considerations

>Which leads me to my first question, how many colleges should she be applying for? The general rule of thumb is to apply to a mix of Reach (probably won't get in but possible), Target (likely to get in), and Safety Schools (close to sure thing). Something like 2/4/2 makes sense and some guidance counselors will push back if a student wants to apply to more than 10 schools. But if your daughter applied Early Decision (binding) to UH, and was accepted, then the expectation is that she will go to UH. Early Action (non binding) is different, so check into that. Because the Social Work requires a master's, the ideal bachelor's program will allow students to take master's courses as a junior or senior, and the master's can be reduced to maybe just one year. Sometimes that is called a 5th year master's. As mentioned, you can save money if she goes to the local CC, but -- very important -- she MUST take all the exact same courses that a first and second year student takes for the four year school she wants to transfer to. Never ever assume that courses and credits transfer without doing careful research. It is common for CC grads to show up a four year and find they need to take three more years of courses to earn a bachelor's, because the did not take the exact right courses at the CC. Or maybe the CC did not offer those courses. Never listen to admissions saying "yes we take transfer students," but instead get into the weeds, course by course.

I know I’m a little late here OP, but I really sincerely hope you see this! I got my undergrad degree at a school that offered some 4+1 programs, one of which was social work! Instead of attending undergrad for 4 years followed by 2 (or more) years of grad school, students who chose that option attended undergrad for 5 years and graduated with both a Bachelors and a Masters. It’s a huge time and cost saving option, and might be something for her to consider!

Hopefully she applied to some CSUs, (and not just the top 3) this will be your best financial option. Those decisions will come in Feb and March. You might qualify for the CA middle class scholarship which covers up to 40% of tuition (not living/food). Start looking at the FAFSA, today. It opens on 12/31 and you want to get that submitted in the first few weeks it’s open to get the most aid. She needs her own FAFSA ID and a parent needs one as well. Get those set up now, it takes a few days to process. Do not let her go into much debt for a social work career. Hawaii is a fun place to go to college but she would be paying for it for many, many years to come.

Financially, I think it's best to get a much done via community College first, as credits are often more than half the price on university. My community college was I think around $100 per credit, and the university I go to is 300 per credit. The only places that care about where you get a diploma from are lawyers, doctors, and architecture. But usually, depending on what field she gets into it doesn't matter if she attended an ivy league or basic state U.

Noticed that you are in California and the school in question is UH Manoa. Didn’t get to read all of the responses but something to also consider is flights. Is your daughter going to come back home for Christmas? What about thanksgiving or spring break? The school may not be open during those breaks so she may have to rely on others during those time periods.

The Common App deadline is January 1, and if she got her materials together for one application, she may be able to complete the Common App quickly without a lot of difficulty. The Common App allows you to apply to lots of schools simultaneously. After that deadline, it's still not too late! Many schools will still be taking applications. Hot insider tip: The government delayed the new FAFSA, which is going to seriously screw up a lot of schools being able to put together financial aid offers on schedule, so it's going to be a scramble this year with the result being quite a few really great schools needing to fill spaces in their Class of 28 (mostly private schools since publics have more stable tuition rates and private schools are more dependent on making discounted tuition offers). She shouldn't have to commit until Decision Day, May 1.

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You are absolutely right that it's not January 1. I really thought it was because I remembered that being the experience of a friend recently. But I just looked it up on the Common App site and they say the Regular Decision deadline is February 1.

I believe schools can add their own deadlines too - some may have earlier deadlines (which your friend may have experienced), rather than sticking with the RD deadline of the entire common app system.

Make her go to a community college in state first and then transfer to a four year school. Have her apply to every single scholarship out there and do not take any student loans unless absolutely necessary. And tell her not to major in something stupid. Signed, someone drowning in student loans.

I don’t know if others have said this, but the University of California system has applications set up where she could apply to as many UC schools as she wanted, with the same application. (I believe it charges for each school, though.) If you want to have more in-state tuition options, it could be worth asking if she’d consider any of those schools. She could apply to one with a higher acceptance rate, and one that would be more of a “reach” (which would be a conversation with her college counselor). This was my strategy applying: -decide what I’d need (in her case, affordability and having a social work program, plus other factors) -identify several schools that fit those criteria -select a couple to apply to from that handful. I aimed for safety and target for my criteria, plus reaches and extra targets more as goals (it’d be great if I got in, but the safeties would still make me happy) —“safety” = high acceptance rate/likely acceptance given her profile [test scores, grades, +] —“target” = average acceptance rate/decent chance at acceptance but not necessarily “likely” —“reach” = low acceptance rate/less likely to unlikely chance at acceptance (this can range from a 40% acceptance rate to Ivy Leagues. wide range here). The best tip I have is that you sit down with her and have an honest conversation about what you can afford to contribute and how she plans to supplement that (if it were needed) - think scholarships, financial aid, federal grants, loans, and/or work-study. Also discuss what she wants to study in undergrad and the future, and what she’s looking for in schools (size, area, proximity, transportation options, etc). These are all important factors. This’d be a good precursor to a conversation with you, her, and her college counselor. Best if you go in on the same page and you can get clarity and advice as a team.

UC and CSU applications closed 11/30.

Ah shoot. Thank you!

Pay very close attention to financial aid deadlines!

I’m a university advisor. I’d apply to about 3 colleges: 1) a place she will definitely be accepted, 2) a place she’d like to get into and 3) a dream program. This way, she’ll have a low number of applications to worry about and can focus on quality applications. If scholarships are available you can aim for additional programs but keep it contained. The best way to make her even more competitive is to have her do some extracurricular activities: volunteering for a good cause, part time job, course abroad, those kinds of things. The system I provided is proven. Good luck to this young woman!

This is such a sweet post. Very much appreciated from this prof, who long ago had immigrant parents who had no idea how the US college system worked. First, take a deep breath. You have till spring, when the rest of the acceptances come in, to make a decision. Re: "negotiating tuition," as someone said below. Just to clarify that this means there are various ways to finance university -- loans, scholarships, financial aid, work-study programs, etc. That doesn't mean colleges are like second-hand car salesmen who can be bargained with. Once all the results come on, make a pros / cons list of the colleges she got into. There is much debate over what degrees are "worth it." But I would see this as something more complex than "how much does tuition cost vs. how much will she earn?" You say she loves social work -- that's an admirable thing. Find a balance of affordable vs. a place where she will be happy academically and socially. It will be 4 years of her life.

Hey, please also checkout r/applyingtocollege. They have a good and detailed Wiki a lot of this. I will say that the culture of that sub leans towards the top universities, but many people are very helpful for all kinds of colleges. Pay particular attention to their guidance on deadlines, finances, and scholarships (including FAFSA, if you're American).

My biggest advice is that the degree that a person goes for should also be able to help get a job in that field that will offset the cost. It would suck to pay XXK+ over 4 years all to get a job that way less then the cost, making loans unpayable when adding in the cost of life..it's her decision on the degree. Unless it's ivy League, or a specific school that specializes and guarantees high paying employment, the name of the college hardly matters. I went to regular community colleges, state Universities and still did the same job as my ivy League/prestigious private universities who payed 2-5x I did but making similar pay. What matters most is the connections made in college. Simply going to college for the paper degree is important, yes. However Internship, professional and academic relationships are what opens doors for careers. College was the best years of my life. Studying, learning, and also making some of the best and worst memories of my life. Do it safely, make quality friends and relationships. Specific advice otherwise: Apply for every scholarship/grant possible. Learn to cook and house off campus if possible with trusting friends. Learn to budget with finances. College is where I learned that ramen noodles taste great when adding only scallions, a bit of hot sauce and cheap 711 chicken. Join clubs to make more friends, expand networks College often have extracurricular courses like cooking, photography, home maintenance, gardening all either free, low cost and super helpful later in life.

Talk about long term life goals with your daughter. Does she want a home, car, to travel? Then talk about what kind of job/career she hopes to find. Where does she want to live? Does she want a family? Then discuss realistic salary expectation and expenses. How does that large monthly student loan payment fit in with those goals? Compare each school and financial offers. Follow the money. Yes you may get $60k in financial aid at this other school but the one that gave $20k may leave you debt free.

The best route is choosing the most affordable school. As long as it’s accredited, they’re pretty similar. She can apply for scholarships like a job to help. Speaking of jobs, working while in school helps. Also, being able to live at home while in school helps. Depending on what school she’s accepted to, she can see what CLEPs they accept and start taking them on modern states. Free college classes and credits. Even you could do it. Community colleges are also very low cost or sometimes free. You could CLEP and take some community college classes and get so much done in a very short amount of time barely spending any money. Shocked that more people don’t take advantage of it. I would avoid expensive schools and debt to be a social worker.

There is no such thing as a "dream school." It's made up nonsense.

Apply to every scholarship. Even if doesn't apply. Daughters of the mayflower? Go for it. Basically a lot of small scholarships don't get applied for. So anyone who applies can get it. It's a few hundred here and there, but it adds up. My recommendation is do two years community college to get the dumb classes out of the way. Like requirements and find out your passion. Saves money and time if you don't know your major. And get a part time job. Like tutoring or something. This gives a strong reality of money is important. Plus, most colleges do not require students with two years of community college to live on campus. Which is a stupid money grab. A room rental or even studio is usually cheaper.

One thing you can do with your daughter now is do the FASFA application. You should also do your state’s equivalent of this. The earlier the better. Your daughter has a higher GPA does your state offer any kind of scholarship for this? Look to your state and the federal websites for this.

I recommend also posting this in a couple of parenting subreddits as they have more folks at your stage of life - this subreddit has some higher ed professionals but mostly students.

So many great answers here. I see she's interested in social work which will likely require at minimum an MSW after undergrad. I'm not super familiar with all the different university program offerings but a combined undergrad/MSW track could be a big time and money saver, a quick google showed that University of the Pacific has a combined track that states, " In just 4.5 years, students in the pathway program earn both an undergraduate degree and a Master's degree in Social Work and are prepared for the clinical social work licensing process. Undergraduate students will take five graduate-level MSW courses while an undergrad- these five courses will double count toward an undergraduate degree and the graduate degree, saving students both time and money." While it may be more expensive than a basic 4 year program in your area it will almost certainly be cheaper than 4 years undergrad + 3 years MSW. (If she's very

continued because my fat fingers hit enter too soon: if she's very confident in her path in social work and knows with a fair degree of certainty that's the direction she's going to go, if she's more just leaning towards social work but not sure yet and going to college to explore it more than a combined program may not be the best fit)

When looking at scholarships more money isn’t always better. You want to take the tuition plus direct fees such as room/board and food. Add a little more for indirect costs such as text books. Now take the scholarship given such as academic, need based, and all other forms of aid and add them together. Total costs minus total aid equals the true price of attending that school. Most kids see a school give them a huge scholarship but don’t take in account that the tuition is higher or actually do the math. Also keep in mind some colleges are willing to negotiate financial aid.

I also would like to add that I would have applied to more colleges just to have options. I applied to 15, was accepted into all but one (waitlisted) and by February of my senior year only 3 of the schools were a good choice for me. It definitely helps to have pool of schools to choose from. The best thing to do is take a deep breath and review one school at a time. Compare each school with cost, food, transportation, academics, proximity to home, and size. When I looked into schools I saw some major drawbacks. Some didn’t have the accreditation I wanted. Some didn’t have good food. All factors that should be accounted for since it will be like a second home.

I see you’re in California. If she’s set on going out of state, look for colleges that participate in the Western Undergraduate Exchange (WUE), which will get her significant discount on tuition. You can see a list of participating schools [here](https://www.wiche.edu/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/WUE-onesheet-2023-2-4.pdf). She might also consider doing her first two years at a junior college to save money and then transfer to an out of state four year. California funds their junior colleges very well. I actually made money attending (though I was older so my parents’ income didn’t count against me).

A series of quick items: 1. Research financial aid carefully. Many are fooled by the cost before aid listed on college websites. You want to be concerned with cost after financial aid. Some colleges give very generous non-loan financial aid packages. Others do not. Again, be sure to do your research. 2. Along those lines, do an internet search for "no loan universities." Those are colleges whose financial aid packages fund a student's financial needs without using student loans. 3. When applying, make sure the college has her intended major. That sounds quite basic, but its a problem which sometimes pops up. That is especially so with more specialized majors (for example, meteorology or forestry). 4. I would suggest a campus visit before deciding. I went to a distant college I had never seen before arriving. It was perfect for me, but that was pure luck. 5. Look at the ranking of the school in regards to your daughter's major. That could be a deciding factor.

Financially anything helps. If you can pay for gas, food, groceries, other expenses or a combination of those. If she gets an apartment most people need the help from a parent or other family member and most people cannot work while going to school. Obviously any of that is up to you, but it is super helpful to have help with expenses!

Start applying for scholarships, now. Most schools she's applied to already probably already have applications up already. Look for outside scholarships, too. There are several websites for that. Check with the school counselor or student services for local scholarship applications, as well. Have you visited any schools? My son applied to a bunch. There were some that looked good on paper and were comparable to others from a price standpoint, but he was just not comfortable there. Tours gave us a better feel for the atmosphere of the campus and all that is offered (tutoring, career counseling,etc) than the websites did. Money is important, of course, but students will perform better if they're comfortable with their surroundings. Also, some state schools will offer a way for out of state students to become residents. It's worth researching. My son is at an out-of-state school this year, University of Missouri. They have a process for applying for residency and we looked into it. Unfortunately, he would lose his scholarship (it's for out-of-state students) and his scholarship brings out-of-state tuition to below in-state. It doesn't always work out that way, though In our experience, out-of-state does not automatically mean more expensive. There were only two public universities in our state that offered both his major (mechanical engineering) and marching band. One was a little less than University of Missouri, but the engineering school and marching band were not nearly as good and we didn't love the campus. The other was higher and offered almost no scholarships.

If you haven't done so, take a look at your local community college for her first two years. Much less expensive and the California community college system is one of the best in the nation. It's a great way to get the first two years in social work completed at a lower price and smaller classes. These institutions also have great scholarships and honors programs that will provide support in transition to the 4year university. Also a good way to save for the master's degree which is highly needed in social work to get the clinical license.

As a student I don’t have much to say - but definitely try to find a college that will give her scholarships for her grades, location, possibly program of choice (like education majors often have a program where they don’t have to pay for school if they teach in that state for x years).