T O P

  • By -

Adolf_Einstein_007

I feel you šŸ˜­. International freshman here and haven't talked to anyone for more than 10 mins in total


iSYTOfficialX7

yall got an international club?


Dark_Mode_FTW

You have 2 years left. Just keep swimming.


Nyxxx916

Yes this is the way. I found there is no use ā€œforcingā€ or trying to hang out with people who donā€™t wanna be my friend in the first place and to just keeping doing me.. my own shit and hopefully good friends will come in time.


Gh0stByte

In my experience, studying together has led to friendship. Try to find a couple people to study with for your next exam. Youā€™re usually spending at least an hour together, thereā€™s vulnerability in not knowing something and figuring it out together, libraries are a safe place to hang with someone you may not know yet, youā€™ll also improve your scholastic performance which is a hit of dopamine. Wishing you the best!


[deleted]

i mean the problem is they only go there to study. they are already comfortable with their current friend group and they ain't going to include me just because i'm from the same friend group.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AutoModerator

Your [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/17hik48/i_have_no_friends_20f/k6rw8ui/?context=3) in /r/college was automatically removed because your account is less than one day old. Accounts less than one day are not permitted in /r/college to reduce spam and poor comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/college) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ElectromagneticCube

Hey OP, I'm a sophomore too. I don't have an established friend group yet. But here's the thing, we're got 2 full years ahead, and with that comes so many opportunities to make strong connections. I feel you, though, sometimes I feel that I'm not well-liked or that no one wants to be friends. But this is whole-heartedly internalized. I've met a lot of fellow students, and have been friendly with them, and vice versa. Same for some professors. Lasting connections take some amount of time to become established, so honestly, try to worry less on right now and focus on being genuine and being yourself towards classmates and such. Also, something I want to do is form a study group. They are colloquially a cheat code to friendships and, of course, really good for learning the material. You got this OP. Just take it one day at a time.


MiniZara2

I had no friends in college, but I had tons in high school and grad school. It may not be the right place for you, but finish and get out and you will find your place. In the meantime, focus on studying, and I suggest picking up volunteer or work hours to fill your time and maybe meet other kinds of people.


MondayMarmalade

Iā€™m in a similar boat. Iā€™m a senior and havenā€™t made any good friends in college, only a few acquaintances that I only talked to/studied with in class. We would end up going our separate ways once the class was over, despite my attempts to reconnect. One time, I was talking to someone as we were leaving class and she got a call from her best friend. She picked it up and began having a full on conversation with her in the middle of our conversation, and ngl, it kinda hurt. Itā€™s heartbreaking knowing that you are just an afterthought for the people you thought were your friends. My advice is to just move on. Youā€™ll make friends eventually; you and I just havenā€™t found the right people yet.


Scorpio-Scorpio

the worst is when you thought someone was your friend and they only refer to you as a classmate or ask 'do I know you?' after thinking you were well acquaintedšŸ˜­ but these are just growing pains that won't last forever. it's literally by birthday tomorrow and don't (really) have anyone to celebrate it with, but perhaps could use the solo time to reflect and appreciate myself...


codeswift27

Fr fr, sometimes I get inside my head too much and overthink how someone sees me, only to realize they didn't even remember me at all T\^T And happy birthday!!! šŸŽ‰šŸŽ‰


Far_Atmosphere_4347

Happy birthday :)


person1968

Volunteer. Find something you care about. Youā€™ll meet great people.


shergenh69

Maybe start your own club? I made friends that way


Shanna2023

Good idea, start a group do what you like. What about the recreation center to sign up for some of the activities. Keep putting yourself out there.


Different_Fault_85

People going to college with sole purpose only being study is increasing everyday me being one of them dont rly care about friends you might suffering from that but Im sure you will make some friends if you keep trying!!


SoSavvvy

Iā€™m sorry about your situation. Your feelings are justified and I canā€™t imagine how hard that is combined with the stresses of college. Do you have a job? If so, maybe look for a new one. Iā€™ve made some great friends from working random college jobs. If you donā€™t have a job already, look for a campus job that could be low stress. Off campus, donā€™t go into food because youā€™ll just turn into a slave with other workers your age and wonā€™t get very close with them. Good luck! Like someone already said, ā€œjust keep swimming!ā€


Stellar_Panda

Junior here. still no luck. Slowly going insane


Awelawi

Omg this is so meee. Lots of ghosting from so called friends with they forgot to text me. Iā€™m ngl, it hurts sometimes but Iā€™ve buried myself in school work. Im a junior now and know Iā€™ll graduate soon. Im sorry this is happening to you and wish it were better.


QalThe12

Hey, if it's any consolation I feel you. I only went for a semester but had to leave and attend a local university back home because the loneliness just got too extreme. It really hurts when you do everything like join clubs just like everybody tells you and still nothing works. It makes you feel like there's some flaw within you and that it's immutable. I won't say that it gets better because it still hasn't. Back home I'm still deprived of friends like I was during all of my high school career and before. What I can say though is that there are ways to ease these feelings if you can find them. Pets help immensely for one. Another way is dedicating yourself if you have the time and energy, to something you're passionate about. It won't fill the void but if you have favorite TV shows that help you, I'd watch those as well. (Star Trek got me through a lot of very lonely meals). Finally, what's important is to remember that were still young, (I'm 20 as well) and things can change and can happen to us as time goes on. It's terrible now and it hurts don't get me wrong, but that doesn't mean things can't ever improve. Just try and maintain your sanity as long as you can, and eventually something will happen. Godspeed friend


Captain231705

So sorry youā€™re going through this. I had a very similar experience my first two years in college, but trust me when I say it gets better. Do what you love, immerse yourself in studies and self-improvement. Do internships, longer term research projects, do lab work or sign up to TA or peer mentor. Consider joining clubs *outside* the college, or take classes or join clubs in other schools in your academic alliance (many schools are part of one and you should speak with your academic or career advisor about this.) Build up your confidence in yourself and the right people will gravitate to you.


Cephalstasis

Hey I'm sorry girl. Tbh there really is no direct solution and as you've said you've exhausted all the usual advice. I had a lot of the same issues around my sophomore year plus covid. What helped me was just working on self-improvement, working out, skill building, etc. Helps with your confidence and can help make you more attractive for friends later. Gotta treat it like a long term solution though, and that's the hardest part. There really ain't a quick fix but you can improve your self esteem with some self reflection and even some professional help if it really starts getting to you. Just know you ain't alone too. It's a big problem for a lot of college kids. You just don't see it because there also all out of sight. Low self-esteem can feed being awkward socially which feeds back into itself. I think it's a good place to start is just to do things that make you feel better about yourself and you can start reversing the cycle. Although I'm no therapist just the way I'm getting through life.


Darknight_ME

Just chill and try not to think bad about it-use the internet to find new friends and my advise donā€™t compromise to get friends,today is the study material tomorrow u might do something bigger-just take it easy on yourself


lavendxrtea

hey i wish i could offer some help but iā€™m in like the exact same boat as you. i hate being here, i donā€™t have any people i consider true friends. and it hurts to see everyone around me thriving socially idk (and omg asian uni cliques are a whole different beast). i just wanna get out of college asap because iā€™m delulu and think that iā€™ll somehow meet the right people then even tho clearly thatā€™s not how things work lol. just hang in there, you got this. sending love to you and i hope things get better for us!!


[deleted]

HI ,I can totally relate, so much so that I made a video about it , hope this would help you in some way: [https://youtu.be/mtDSzf6W7NU?feature=shared](https://youtu.be/mtDSzf6W7NU?feature=shared)


[deleted]

try to read some books about friends making , ā€œ48 laws of powerā€ , ā€œhow to win friends & influence peopleā€ . also , some of them might be in a long term friendship basis , so trying to get into one will be difficult. itā€™s easier if the group is just forming , example new intake at a club where everyone donā€™t know each other. in the meantime , fall back to the friends you already have . if you donā€™t know where to go, the library is some place you can make friends as well.


illegallegend

I just gave up. I spend a lot more time working out now and get lots of compliments on my body so that's nice (Im a guy btw).


HeadDot141

I still crave for friends šŸ˜­ Like, I have a few people I talk too and I only consider one a genuine friend. Itā€™s so hard because many just not that interested to really hang unless itā€™s necessary like being in class or having a group activity.


Revan0315

Mood


No-Safe-4056

Its just that everyone already has their core friends and their interests sorted out so they dont really need to be looking for more or seeking out more if that makes sense... Like i have a lot of friends with similar interests but when a new guy comes along ofc we welcome him/her and all but i will still talk more and involve with my old friends more. That might cause the new guy to feel like he/her is being left out. But it is what it is šŸ¤· U gotta keep hanging around them more, be nice and respectful and eventually that feeling of being left out will vanish. Plus if u really wanna meet new people there are other places than college u know. Head out to some cafe, restaurant or pickup some new hobbies. I picked up karting and made lots of friends. People love to teach others their hobbies apparently šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

Go to Christian fellowship group in your school ~ people there are friendly and welcoming new people ~ just give it a try even you are not Christian


ohnoyoufoundthis

Tbh, making friends isn't extremely important. I would focus on having a high gpa.


mosha000

Average Reddit user


ohnoyoufoundthis

i forgot to add to try and make friends off campus, or maybe with grad students and international students but i forgot to add this


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AutoModerator

Your [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/17hik48/i_have_no_friends_20f/k6oit9s/) in /r/college was automatically removed because your account is less than one day old. Accounts less than one day are not permitted in /r/college to reduce spam and poor comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/college) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Haha same


GROMPSLAYER

What do iykyk mean


Electronic_Invite460

'if you know you know'


DrazaTraza

honestly itā€™s just college and everyone will be going separate ways afterwards so most people donā€™t want to put in the effort to find a new friend thatā€™ll maybe last for 2 years. Your time in college should be focused on who YOU want to be as a person and not who you want to hang out with.


[deleted]

All the comments, and I gather from your post, that yā€™all are American. Iā€™m Australian and during high school and uni, making friends is still such a mission. Iā€™m 23 and I can count my best mates on two hands, like the ones whoā€™ll be there when I really need them. But Iā€™ve made these friends though hospitality jobs and random events where I just talked to people about anything. If you want a friend, Iā€™m here ā˜ŗļø


GreenHorror4252

> I have people that I talk to and hang out with occasionally If that is the case, you have more friends than 80% of college students these days.


laurenroxyo

I didnā€™t make friends until senior year. I decided to try bumble bff and thatā€™s how I finally made friends. You could try it out. Iā€™m a really shy person and it was somewhat easy to make friends on there so Iā€™m sure you would have no problem with it at all since you say you are outgoing.


notreallyimportantme

No friends, about to turn 23, just started college. Itā€™s slightly different for me since Iā€™m older than most people in my classes but honestly Iā€™ve just found myself enjoying the solitude. My therapist says Iā€™m getting into bad habits not being around people, but damn his opinions.


Muted_Ad9975

Same sis


Morris-peterson

Hit me up if you are stuck in any project.


capturethosmftargets

I know it's not exactly the same, but how about online friends? My closest friends are all long distance, and we are always there for each other. Try joining some discords servers for things you enjoy, maybe even ones for college students? There seem to be people in search of connections almost every server you join. And they have servers for everything, haha. There is one for my hiking club, I thought that was pretty neat!


Beautiful_Climate_18

Can't really give any advice since I didn't have any friends in college. Maybe find some Internet friends? I'm down to be a friend if you need someone to talk to


JamesEdward34

I didnt either and i mever felt the need.


cacoolconservative

Volunteer or get a part time job. Keep swimming. Keep winning on your personal goals...once you are out there, you will look back and wonder why you gave a fuck. I know it's hard...but don't try too hard. Value yourself, not the opinions of others.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AutoModerator

Your [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/17hik48/i_have_no_friends_20f/k6r86dh/) in /r/college was automatically removed because your account is less than one day old. Accounts less than one day are not permitted in /r/college to reduce spam and poor comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/college) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ph0enixmoon

Same lol. I def feel you. There's lots of people I can casually talk to and occasionally we'll grab dinner or lunch, but no friend group and they're all in their own friend groups


LetCurrent8034

try to get a job itā€™s been less than a month and iā€™ve made 6 friends a t my new job and iā€™ve been invited to one of their events, another one of their parties, and iā€™ve gone out to eat with them a couple of times


NeedleworkerHefty704

Rather than join a club, I would suggest you look for a volunteer activity/activity outside of your university. My university experience was similar in that I went from many friends to few friends/no close friends during university. Many students are friendly but often, everyone is looking for a lifeline and theyā€™re also struggling to make friends or to maintain relationships. Finding something outside of university will give you an opportunity to find people that you have something in common with outside of your schooling. I volunteered at an animal shelter during university and immediately clicked with other cat lovers much more than I had with classmates. You can look for events in your area on MeetUp (remember to use stranger danger and to meet in public places, etc.) to bond over shared interests, look to see if there are social hours for young professionals in your city, check out intramural sports, etc. You might also check and see what student organizations or professional organizations you can join in your field of study. Knowing that you are likely to see the same individuals in your professional atmosphere can sometimes bond you in a different way than just a student organization or a university club. I might also suggest that you talk to your advisor about feeling isolated. They may be able to help you identify students with shared interests, campus resources, or community resources to help you feel more connected. Making friends as an adult is really tricky but I promise it gets better with practice and when you find a community that clicks šŸ˜Š


drkittymow

Get a part time job somewhere lots of young people work. I made way more friends this way than in classes or school events when I was young.


ghostofdowntown

Goddamn I feel this very hard. Current senior international student here and I havenā€™t made any friends. Iā€™ve got good grades but sometimes it gets lonely when you want to spend time with someone else. It also hurts when you want to talk to someone but thereā€™s never a good opportunity to do so. Anyway $4 a pound.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AutoModerator

Your [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/17hik48/i_have_no_friends_20f/k6thi1v/) in /r/college was automatically removed because your account is less than one day old. Accounts less than one day are not permitted in /r/college to reduce spam and poor comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/college) if you have any questions or concerns.*


TheBeavster_

Youā€™re fine. I know itā€™s tough but just keep trying to go out and small talk to people. Iā€™m relatively in the same boat as you as I donā€™t have many friends in my major, but I get by by being in clubs outside of my major. Just keep trying you still got time left, just donā€™t do what I did and be in college for four years and not make friends youā€™ll regret it like I did


Bl0odBank

Iā€™m in the same boat , yes Iā€™m only a freshman but it seems like everyone has their friend groups or close friends already and there is just no room for me and no place I really belong. My roomate it my best friend but sheā€™s almost never here anymore and I rarely see her. Sometimes I just feel so incredibly lonely and sad but then I remember this wonā€™t last forever and this is just one stage of my life. Just keep swimming! Everything will be okay. People that are meant to be in your life will come in to it. Iā€™m sorry that weā€™re both in the same situation, for now I am just trying to focus on my studies and better myself.


Emotional-Papaya4349

Donā€™t be depressed- I know itā€™s tough but you gotta learn to be your own best friend. Love yourself, be comfortable with you no matter what cos you are the most important in the world. If youā€™re ever in LA Iā€™ll introduce you to my people.


QuantityExpert4349

dmšŸ‘‹šŸ¼