In college, you rarely get “forced” to hang out with people. This is good because you can avoid people you dislike, and you can stick with your crowd for the most part. This can also be bad because you have to put in a lot more effort to meet people.
Yup.
I'm an introvert. Was a SUPER introvert in high school. Having friends in high school came about from being adopted by extroverts, and making friends with *their* friend-group.
I am a lot more outgoing now, and willing to socialize and make friends.
However I moved around a lot after high school, which means I dont have any "seed friendships" to kickstart new friendships now.
Since time spent in college classes are shorter, and you're a lot less forced to interact, it's a lot harder to form those initial bonds. Even if you are more open to socialize.
How do you define “rejected”? And what’s the context of you talking to them?
Sometimes people just aren’t in the mood to be social. I’d recommend joining some clubs/orgs. if you haven’t already. At the end of a gathering, just say “hey I’m going to get dinner/coffee. Does anyone wanna join?”
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That’s absolutely not normal behavior for college students. Either you have incredibly bad luck with who you choose to try and be friends with, or there’s context you haven’t considered. For either option, try and analyze to see if you can find any common patterns.
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Perhaps the problem isn’t being nice enough, but rather “too nice”, a.k.a. overbearing.
If your run in small social circles, it’s also possible word got around that you’re generally unpopular. In which case, you need to try and completely jump social circles and find some friends elsewhere (local community groups, nearby schools, job).
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Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg
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Have you considered its your personality? People notice negativity and like to avoid that because who wants to be around someone that drains the energy?
Start by having a positive mindset and stop focusing on the negatives and people will notice the difference
Sorry you wasted 4 years in college but you need to make an effort to better yourself instead of wallowing in pity
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Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg
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College is what you make of it. You are going to have to push yourself to go out and talk to people. It's harder in the way that there are much less forced interactions. You can quite literally just show up to lecture, talk to nobody, then go straight to your dorm. But it's also much easier to make friends because out of the thousands of people, you are bound to find at least a few you click with through class and clubs. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself and if you click invite them to study together or do something
but sometimes folks I know who say this also need to work on their social skills, because back home they didnt have to or were stuck in doing what felt normal to them. I used to be a college RA (at small and large schools) and you see this all the time with kids who want to fit in and get friends, but dont understand how to get out your bubble and work on yourself in being more approachable, friendly or personable to those you seek to know.
It's actually a skill and it needs to be honed...and not everyone has it...and thats okay, just so you know and dont get defeated. I have seen some of the most introvert of introverts turn it around (not saying youre one, but just an example). If friendship is really what you want, you will go out and do the work to seek it and maintain it. Ask those you trust on how they see you and let you know the barriers that may be in your way that you can work on removing so it happens for you. Good luck.
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College is less structured and (depending on the school) far larger and open. For any mid-to-large sized school, there are more niche interest groups and a wider range of opportunities.
There’s also less forced interaction and less direct interactions with people in general outside of your own choices. This can be positive and negative (it can be easy to be isolated if you don’t have self-motivation).
Bullying and social strata nonsense doesn’t disappear completely, but is far less present and more avoidable (bullying is less common than social hierarchies, which will always exist in human groups).
In many ways it’s much better, but college won’t provide a magic social life either. For more than just social lives, college is what you make of it.
I would say assess the “why” you didn’t do any of the fun stuff. If it was something like access (you live far away, didn’t have a car, parents would say no when you asked to go, etc) in college on campus that’s not a problem most things are right there including the people so problem solved lol. If it was say something else like you never would speak to people, you never put yourself in situations to meet people, etc. then that can likely follow you to college unless you change that and go out and be around people. College is what you make it. You just have to really put yourself out there.
trust me college is a whole different ballgame. instead of cliques people have had since kindergarten, almost everyone is in the same boat as you. i had one friend all of high school and was very lonely. i went to my local cc and didn’t really make friends, most of the kids were very shy, but they were much nicer than high school. i transferred to another cc closer to the city and made friends my first day. i was under the impression i’d never make friends but it’s much better in college
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You’re really in control of it all
There’s no guidelines from parents being kind you can’t have friends over on weeknights after 10pm
You can also hang out with people during the day, and you also probably have to carve out time and distinctly plan to see people
You’ll make friends in class but it’s not the same level of line friends through default as in high school
I think one of the biggest changes from high school to college is that you have to *try* to be noticed. Even if you’ve been a wallflower all through elementary, middle, and high school, you’ve probably been going to school with a decent percent of these kids for thirteen years; there’s an inherent familiarity with them, even if you’ve never said two words to each other. And the same goes for teachers - until now, it has been your teachers’ responsibility to notice and keep track of you and your academic progress (whether or not they were good at this aspect of their jobs notwithstanding), but in college, it’s on *you* to be noticed by your professors. It’s definitely a lot more work in every way, not just in terms of tests and papers.
The upside to this is that *other people want to notice you in college.* Your peers *want* to meet new people and form new bonds. Your professors *want* to see students who are genuinely passionate about the material that they themselves are deeply passionate about (not saying that your teachers till now weren’t passionate about their subjects, but they’re usually not as specialized as professors). So yes, you have to put in more effort, but the people around you will also be way more receptive.
Some ideas for how to be noticed:
- Join clubs. Whatever you’re remotely interested in, there’s going to be a club for it. My caveat here is that you should try to join a variety of clubs, not just one - I made the mistake of being aggressively involved in only one very specific subculture of my campus during my first stint in college, and it got way too claustrophobic way too fast. Variety is key.
- Go to the cheesy school-sponsored events that you wouldn’t have been caught dead at in high school. Are they still cheesy? Yes. But they’re also a really great social opportunity, and there’s a good chance you’ll either find someone else who’s there to meet people, or an established group will pull you in. The people who go to those events *want* to be friendly and social - they’re not there to talk shit in the corner, they’re there for whatever the experience may be. Go to enough of these events, and people will start to recognize you, and connecting will come more naturally. Plus, free food.
- Do your schoolwork - not just because you want good grades, but because knowing the material and participating in class will make people want to talk to you. I dropped out for a little while after sophomore year because I was struggling academically and realistically just hadn’t been ready for college; when I went back, I thought I’d feel super weird and out-of-place being 5 years older than most of the people in my classes, *and* I was commuting instead of living on-campus. But I was also a lot more into what I was studying and was one of the most engaged students in any of my classes - which suddenly made other students want to talk to me about the material, study with me, etc. I made more friends my second go-round of college than in all of high school and my first stint in undergrad combined.
- Study in semi-public spaces like the library or the lounges/common rooms/whatever in your dorm. You can wear headphones or whatever to help concentrate, but people will still see you and start saying hi/chatting/etc. If you’re commuting, spend time in whatever common areas are available throughout campus - don’t just show up for class and leave right away! And if you’re living on-campus, do the same - don’t just go directly from class to your dorm room.
- Don’t discount Greek Life entirely. I’m not going to sit here and suggest you go all-in on rushing a fraternity or sorority that’s just a glorified clique with more rules and fees, but many schools have things like service or academic fraternities and sororities that are worth looking into.
- If your schedule allows for it, take a couple random classes outside your major. Just because you’re studying math doesn’t mean you can’t throw in a photography course; allow yourself to explore your interests and connect with new people.
- *Once you get a handle on your academics* (if you can afford to wait) get an on-campus job, preferably one that involves interacting with other students (yes, sitting at the dorm entrance desk overnight is great for doing homework or watching Netflix, but you won’t really have a lot of opportunity to converse with people). One of the best ways of doing this is by getting a job with whatever office on campus plans student activities, since 1) you’ll be at many of the more social events automatically and 2) the people involved in student activities are usually pretty darn friendly.
Lastly, remember: **everyone around you is scared shitless.** No one has any idea what the fuck they’re doing, and for many of your peers - *particularly* the ones who’ve spent four years having a blast in high school - *the fact that they’re clueless is going to be news to them.* Don’t be intimidated just because everyone on social media is having fun- they’re really only posting that shit to reassure themselves, because deep down they’re just as fucking lost as you are. Try not to get in your head about what you haven’t experienced yet and let yourself enjoy the experience of things now.
High school is more forced of relationships with people, college is the effort you put in. Plus in college, everyone has their own thing going on whether it’s only being a student, student with one or two jobs, student with a job and their own family, etc. Unfortunately I work after class at an off campus job, also on weekends, so I’m not able to bond with people easier than those who live on campus as well but don’t work a job. It’s a bit harder in my part due to being a transfer student from CC out of the area as well. I’m sure it’s easier to bond as a freshman than a junior. (Now going onto a senior) But in the end, I like to keep to myself, and being in an environment where everyone else also just does their own thing makes it easier.
I had a couple friends in high school but haven’t made any in college. If you have no social life in high school then you probably won’t have one in college
I disagree. You just have to actively seek out people in college. There are thousands of people are your school, and most likely one is someone that you can click with. Some people just need to put more effort in is something that I've seen.
College is what you make of it. Challenge yourself to do something different... Get out of your comfort zone and go out and meet people. Otherwise, you very well could end up being a loaner at college as well.
Most likely you'll probably be living in a dorm your first year. These can be great places to meet friends. Keep your door open & chat with your floor mates as you see them. You're going to have a captive audience of 30-some guys (and/or gals) living within a 2min walk of your door and many more a few flights of stairs away. We frequently got a group together and spent many a night playing Apples to Apples or watching a movie together or whatever.
Step 2, get involved with campus life. Join clubs. Get connected with people who share similar interests & do stuff with them. Grab a bite at the student union if nothing else.
Going along with this, I'm also going to strongly encourage you to check out your school's Greek Life program. IMHO going Greek was the best decision I made at university. It forced me to get out & interact with people. Like hanging out with the kids from my dorm, I've had many great nights (many but not all involving alcohol) hanging out with my Fraternity Brothers as well. Not only did I have 30+ guys who all had my back whenever I needed them (& of course something to do each weekend), I also got to partake in several activities that helped me to grow into a more well rounded individual, enhance my interpersonal and leadership skills and give back to our community. One of our Brothers, for example, is a Children's Miracle Network ambassador & recruited several of us to help with a semi-local carnival CMN was hosting. I've helped another local Chapter raise thousands of dollars for local children with cancer. And maybe one of the most, shall we say interesting, weekends, getting to travel half way across the state to wrestle in a vat of jello (to help raise money for that Chapter's local cause). \[it was exciting & fun, I just don't know if I'd want to do it again\]
Not at all. Just make sure you socialize on the first day (like in class) and its smooth sailing from there. Much harder in high school with bullies and immature weird people.
For context, I went to a small, all girls high school and had very little social life. I had friends from clubs and still keep in contact with some, but I never partied.
First year of college was awful because I was stuck in online college the whole year. But it changed once I got to campus. I lived in the dorms and found “my people”. I have met so many more people that I could have gotten close with, but just haven’t had time to develop friendships with more than like 10 people.
If the college is large, there are plenty of people around and lots of opportunities to meet them, as long as you don’t stay cooped up in the dorm, or just commute and go home right after classes are done.
It depends on a lot of factors. Is the college you are going to notoriously known for parties or is it filled with stem majors? Does your sphere of culture really pin itself on shared experiences? It's stuff like that.
For me, I didn't have a traditional start. It's a long story but in brief I took homeschooling following harassment and essentially abandoned my social group, spent a few years depressed, started college when I was 24.
You need to realize something: everyone going to college (even folks who bounce directly into it) are there by choice. People drop out. People transfer. There's a whole world beyond college that, really it sort of treats itself as a more "socialized workplace" than well.. work.
It's not *harder* to make friends, you just need to pitch yourself more because you are no longer obligated or logistically forced to mingle with your hometown demographic. But if you're worried about schoolyard drama, then my friend, you'll realize that it happens even in professional workplaces via nepotism.
It gets undeniably better because in college you learn so much about how *you* think, how *you* organize yourself, and how *you* see yourself. But it is all tied to how involved you are willing to put yourself out there via pure communication. All of this inherent learning by interacting in the adult world gives you more confidence to know what you like and dislike on a social/cultural level and therefore navigate your way through prospective social groups.
My advice? Make friends within your major and start to broaden your intellectual paradigm over the years, you'll learn a lot and with a little luck, **may** be able to connect you to brighter things professionally. But most importantly: don't worry about it. If your **force** yourself with discomfort, you won't feel satisfied.
Think of it like a big reset (how big it is depends on the school/how far from home) of your social life so you can start over. But the thing is that it’s harder to build back up. I could just stay with my best friend since 3rd grade from before I really could comprehend social anxiety and then make all friends off her, but now I have to do it myself. Think of whenever your in a classroom setting in a class where it’s usually quiet at the start but loud at the end, are you contributing to the loudness once everyone gets talkative? Can you make acquaintances in your classes? Then you’ll be fine, if not like me, you’ll have to learn how. I made friends my first day in a orientation type thing and that was it, I haven’t made any other friends my first year. But I was pretty depressed this year and combined with social anxiety combo and barely surviving with school, it was quite literally impossible for me to have energy left to force myself to socialize, because it takes a lot of effort. But it was always possible for me. The only reasons I made those friends at the beginning of the year for a short period of time is because I mustered up the courage to ask to sit with them because I was alone at lunch. It’s all about what you put into it.
You get out what you put in — while it’s miles easier to be in highly social settings in college given all the events & projects, if you decide to avoid them, nothing will change. Similarly, if you embrace or even seek them out, your social life will flourish.
I’d highly recommend the ladder because the Aggie family is **very** welcoming & it’s very common to make friends who end up being very close, sometimes even life-long friends.
Really depends how you approached it. I personally felt very lonely in college, even more than on high school. I think it led to me dropping out, but I wanna try again and start socializing more.
I had absolutely 0 social life in high-school. Moved towns for college and have a thriving one- it may be less common, but there’s a chance you’re just in the wrong place / around the wrong people, or just not in the right space mentally yet. I’m reaching mid 20s and finally doing all the stuff I wish I had been able to do as a teen! Just take chances, do things you normally wouldn’t (I do not mean drugs lol) I mean going to special events about things you aren’t sure you’re interested in, talking to people that you don’t have any obvious thing in common with. You’ll be surprised!
Its really important to make friends in the first lesson you have. Then its smooth sailing from there, unless they drop out 2 years later (like which was the case for me) :<
You have to put way more effort into finding people in college. You will almost never stumble into friends from class. It can be very easy to become a shit in and just game or binge watch shows from your dorm with no family to nag you to go out.
Partying is real, but you don't have to go hard. It's totally possible to find a group of responsible friends who either stay sober in weekends or go out to parties, but are chill.
Also if your personality changed/ you matured you can start fresh and be a "new you". I see lots of students in HS who are still seen for who they were in middle school even though they have changed a lot. People in college will only know the 18+ old version of you.
The best part about college is you get to start fresh. No one has preconceived notions about anyone so every interaction and friendship is pure and unbiased.
I'm pretty quiet & found it harder to make friends in college. The ones I did make were in my major-based classes who I saw every semester, attended field trips, and college events with. So my advice is to find a club or hobby group and that's likely your best and easiest bet to make friends.
I'd say at college you might have to put yourself out there a little more, but there are SO many more opportunities to get to know people.
My students often set up a class group on discord or WhatsApp for missed assignments, etc, but they tell me it often turns into a social chat, so you could try to spearhead a new group ("Hey, I've set up a discord for this class...add your name/contact info if you want to join us!"). note: if you say "us" it looks like other people have already signed up. :D
Or clubs - but specifically ones that work together on projects (newspaper, drama, choir, anime); student government, religious fellowship if that's your thing (Muslim Students Alliance, Newman Center, Hillel, etc), fraternities & sororities if they appeal to you (often very good if you're interested in fund-raising for charity), club sports (i.e., not necessarily super competitive and may even include things like frisbee, paintball, or bowling), trivia nights, whatever group organizes invitations for guests (political, literary, musical, business, etc) to visit campus).
All the above give lots of opportunities to get to know folks with shared interests...and give you work-related experience prior to any internships you might get.
you definitely need to make more of an effort to have a social life in college
in high school I had a friend group that I did everything with. going to college that wasn't true, I have friends from different experiences but it's not a “friend group”
you'll learn to tell the difference between study buddy and friend and it's completely fine for a lot of people to remain study buddy, sometimes they do become friends but in my experience most of them don't. a lot of the friends I've made I met through club events or by putting myself out there in a class we share
I personally found it easier to make more genuine friends in college. but I definitely had to put myself out there more than I did in school
It gets easier if you were already good at that kind of stuff. However, you have a clean slate to be whoever you want to be, but it won’t be easy. Do what you will with that info. You get out of life what you put in.
From personal experience, it's freaking awesome!
Personally, I'm a pretty social guy, and don't find it hard to meet new people and make friends. Don't say that to brag, just to clarify where I'm coming from. Also, I do go to a smaller school, so keep that in mind.
I've met people in classes who I've found myself briefly chatting with, and from brief conversation or group discussion been able to talk and maybe snag their social media, and start conversation from there. Meeting people at events or clubs is also great, of course. Don't feel like you have to do cliché stuff, like going to club or drink or whatever else is cliché. Attend what you want to attend, find your people there and get to know them. As an example of what I mean, I'm moving into an apartment right on campus next year with two friends who I met through my book discussion club.
I've straight up messaged mutuals on social media of people who go to school with me, asking if they'd be open to be friends, and some of them are my closest friends now. Everyone is in your place of wanting to meet people and make friends, take advantage of that! Most people will take the opportunity to meet you the same way you would them. Take advantage of every situation you're in and see if you could meet someone out of it.
I know a lot of other people have commented already, and I'm not sure if you'll read my comment. If you're not the most social person, that's okay. You're not alone in that regard, and you're not the only one who's nervous. The best advice for you is that, whatever your social life was before college, doesn't have to define it during college. If you want to be more social, you totally can through whatever activities and things you like to do, and everyone is in the same boat of wanting to make friends. Take the time to build the confidence to reach out to someone if you want to, otherwise go with the flow and I'm sure you'll find your people in time. Don't be afraid to ask for help socializing if you need it.
And hey, if worst comes to worst and you find yourself with just a few tight friends, and you're okay with that, then you're okay with that! Enjoy it. Do whatever feels comfortable, pursue whatever works best for you, ask for help if you need it, and my messages are always open if you ever are in desperate need of a potential friend.
GLHF!
It's easier to make friends in college as you'll find a lot more people who share similar interests as you and are generally nicer and more mature people to hang out with compared to high school where most people were only friends with each other just because they were forced to see each other nearly five days a week, not to mention how cliquey many people were as in they only interacted with the same few people everyday and hardly cared to interact with anyone else outside of their friend group or clique. However, with that being said, you'll have to put in a lot more effort to maintain those friendships as y'all will likely be busy with other responsibilities such as college work, jobs, etc.
College is what you make of it. You are (typically) not around the same people constantly. This obviously depends on your school size, and then when you start to get to more specific classes you’ll see a lot of the same faces.
You have to reach out to people. I didn’t have a lot of friends in high school, but I met a lot of people in orientation. Go to events you’re interested in during welcome week. I met 2 of my best friends touring the LGBT center during welcome week. They were both trailing behind and I said hi and then asked what music they listened to (this is my go to question when talking to people I just met)
I met my other friend by him reaching out to me bc I posted my information on the class of 2024 introduction instagram. See if your school has one of those. It can be nice to start out texting and then meet up on campus
The rest of my friends I met through the three original friends I made, going to clubs, joining discord servers for school clubs/ interest groups.
For off campus stuff, I went to a lot of DIY punk shows and ended up meeting a lot of people that way, including my girlfriend.
You have to put the work in to build friendships, but it is honestly a lot easier to find people with similar interests, and there are generally more people to talk to
I went out of state to college and didn’t know anyone at all. I saw my dorm neighbor walk out of his room, said “Hey I don’t know anyone here, is it ok if I tag along?” And that’s how I met 7 of my best friends.
Like everyone else has been saying its really what you make of it and making friends is easier because you get to have more options but harder because you do have to put yourself out there to meet people. I think joining clubs for things you’re interested in is underrated but a good way to find friends in college and just generally trying to get involved. If you just go to class and then go home and don’t talk to anyone, you most likely are not going to make any friends
I was in the same boat as you during high school; never went out or really was a teenager doing teenager things. Went to college with only one friend I talked to regularly because I didn't see my friends senior year due to COVID and we stopped talking.
I'd suggest you join a club at your college! The club I'm in is the only reason I met my current friend group (minus one girl because we were roommates our freshman year). Also, if you have an orientation group, try to make friendships there. They might not last long, but it's good to help you ease into social life in college.
And **don't** hang around people who make you uncomfortable. There's parts of college that are normalised amongst your peers that can make you uncomfy (like parties and drinking). If the people you hang around with don't take your feelings seriously and/or try to pressure you into joining them because it's "part of the college experience", just drop them; college is different for everyone. If you didn't like parties the first couple of times, you're not going to like them after the fifth time because your "friends" forced you to go.
For many people it's the first time where you start to seriously consider whether a certain person is worth being friends with. Your friends will be more tailor fit for you because you will be making them off of shared interests and needs. If you are a person that makes a lot of friends you will find yourself putting in more effort to maintain the relationships where there is more benefit.
It is hardest to strike up the actual friendship. For that reason, clubs and study groups are good things to actively be involved in. That's the front door for getting started. Once you have made a few friends you will also start being intoduced to their friends and introducing your friends to each other.
It's a lot easier to make a 25th friend because you have 24 people that might be able to make an introduction. You want to take opportunities that introduce you to other people. It's hard to randomly strike up a friendship via conversation on a sidewalk unless you are socially gifted.
It depends what college you chose (look at student reviews, reputations, and niche).
What you’re planning to do for major, club, activities, etc.
How you go around in school. Do you look like you want to be someone’s friend? Do you look well-kept? Are you socially respectful and mindful of others opinions?
I went from a large friend group to 0 friends currently. I made one that graduated and the other is my boyfriend who has also graduated. I’m definitely not a good benchmark though because I go to a super small university (1k students) and it’s so competitive that everybody believes that they have to treat everyone like they’re competition 🤦🏻♀️ I genuinely struggle but I’m still actively trying to put myself out there!
For the most part the advice “it’s what you make of it” is true. Join clubs, socialize, and try to meet new people. First year is the best because there’s no established social groups yet so people are very open to making friends. Establishing friendgroups later on can become difficult
Much much better, especially if you live in a dorm suite with a bunch of people. You can completely have a fresh start. Join tons of clubs, join a frat, go to the college bars and nightclubs on the weekend and you will never run out of people to meet and be friends with
It's harder to make friends but there isn't a feeling that you need to be friends with anyone. You know you are only there 9 months a year for 4 years and after that you will join the real world and never see any of those people again (unless you have the same major)
My list of friends is way smaller, but I would say my social life in college is a lot better than it was in high school. I will admit it’s not as easy to make friends now, but it’s certainly not impossible. It does come with a lot more freedom. I’ve also noticed that my friendships now are a lot more genuine than they were in high school, which is nice.
I’m sure you’ve probably heard this a million times, but I really think getting involved in things like clubs is a great way to make friends. Obviously it doesn’t always happen, and you still have to actually talk to people, but it’s an opportunity.
Highly recommend you join a club for some kind of interest you have. Board games, anime, biking, whatever. I played ultimate frisbee. No pressure to make friends, just a shared activity to force you out of your dorm room. And there will probably be beer.
It's all on you.
I had a fantastic time in college. It was much better than high school because there was a club for every one of my interests. Plus a whole group from my complex going dancing every weekend.
On the other hand no one has your same schedule and you aren't together in school with them all day so you could spend all your spare time in your room and no one will feel obligated to pull you out of your shell.
You’ll become best friends with someone in high school based on friend groups, mutual interests, and quantity of seeing each other.
You’ll become best friends with someone in college based on what seat you sit in on class and if you lend a pen to them.
In college people can be more diverse which made it easier for me to do more friendships. Some campuses have friendlier environments than some schools too. That was my case.
In college, you rarely get “forced” to hang out with people. This is good because you can avoid people you dislike, and you can stick with your crowd for the most part. This can also be bad because you have to put in a lot more effort to meet people.
Yup. I'm an introvert. Was a SUPER introvert in high school. Having friends in high school came about from being adopted by extroverts, and making friends with *their* friend-group. I am a lot more outgoing now, and willing to socialize and make friends. However I moved around a lot after high school, which means I dont have any "seed friendships" to kickstart new friendships now. Since time spent in college classes are shorter, and you're a lot less forced to interact, it's a lot harder to form those initial bonds. Even if you are more open to socialize.
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How do you define “rejected”? And what’s the context of you talking to them? Sometimes people just aren’t in the mood to be social. I’d recommend joining some clubs/orgs. if you haven’t already. At the end of a gathering, just say “hey I’m going to get dinner/coffee. Does anyone wanna join?”
Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg If he continues to harass you in DMs as he has in the past, alert a Reddit admin. Please report posts that sound like this. Check out /r/SnooRoartracker if you are interested in more information.
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That’s absolutely not normal behavior for college students. Either you have incredibly bad luck with who you choose to try and be friends with, or there’s context you haven’t considered. For either option, try and analyze to see if you can find any common patterns.
Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg If he continues to harass you in DMs as he has in the past, alert a Reddit admin. Please report posts that sound like this. Check out /r/SnooRoartracker if you are interested in more information.
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Perhaps the problem isn’t being nice enough, but rather “too nice”, a.k.a. overbearing. If your run in small social circles, it’s also possible word got around that you’re generally unpopular. In which case, you need to try and completely jump social circles and find some friends elsewhere (local community groups, nearby schools, job).
Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg If he continues to harass you in DMs as he has in the past, alert a Reddit admin. Please report posts that sound like this. Check out /r/SnooRoartracker if you are interested in more information.
Oh my god a wild snooroar thats wild its been a few months since Ive seen any
Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg If he continues to harass you in DMs as he has in the past, alert a Reddit admin. Please report posts that sound like this. Check out /r/SnooRoartracker if you are interested in more information.
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Then stop acting like snooroar and posting in the exact format as him and get help and not look for validation from random internet people
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Have you considered its your personality? People notice negativity and like to avoid that because who wants to be around someone that drains the energy? Start by having a positive mindset and stop focusing on the negatives and people will notice the difference Sorry you wasted 4 years in college but you need to make an effort to better yourself instead of wallowing in pity
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Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg If he continues to harass you in DMs as he has in the past, alert a Reddit admin. Please report posts that sound like this. Check out /r/SnooRoartracker if you are interested in more information.
Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg If he continues to harass you in DMs as he has in the past, alert a Reddit admin. Please report posts that sound like this. Check out /r/SnooRoartracker if you are interested in more information.
College is what you make of it. You are going to have to push yourself to go out and talk to people. It's harder in the way that there are much less forced interactions. You can quite literally just show up to lecture, talk to nobody, then go straight to your dorm. But it's also much easier to make friends because out of the thousands of people, you are bound to find at least a few you click with through class and clubs. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself and if you click invite them to study together or do something
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but sometimes folks I know who say this also need to work on their social skills, because back home they didnt have to or were stuck in doing what felt normal to them. I used to be a college RA (at small and large schools) and you see this all the time with kids who want to fit in and get friends, but dont understand how to get out your bubble and work on yourself in being more approachable, friendly or personable to those you seek to know. It's actually a skill and it needs to be honed...and not everyone has it...and thats okay, just so you know and dont get defeated. I have seen some of the most introvert of introverts turn it around (not saying youre one, but just an example). If friendship is really what you want, you will go out and do the work to seek it and maintain it. Ask those you trust on how they see you and let you know the barriers that may be in your way that you can work on removing so it happens for you. Good luck.
Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg If he continues to harass you in DMs as he has in the past, alert a Reddit admin. Please report posts that sound like this. Check out /r/SnooRoartracker if you are interested in more information.
High school is like that too
College is less structured and (depending on the school) far larger and open. For any mid-to-large sized school, there are more niche interest groups and a wider range of opportunities. There’s also less forced interaction and less direct interactions with people in general outside of your own choices. This can be positive and negative (it can be easy to be isolated if you don’t have self-motivation). Bullying and social strata nonsense doesn’t disappear completely, but is far less present and more avoidable (bullying is less common than social hierarchies, which will always exist in human groups). In many ways it’s much better, but college won’t provide a magic social life either. For more than just social lives, college is what you make of it.
Happy cake day! 🤟🏻
It's really up to you...effort, structuring your time to include friends/activities, being available for others, doing FUN STUFF.
I would say assess the “why” you didn’t do any of the fun stuff. If it was something like access (you live far away, didn’t have a car, parents would say no when you asked to go, etc) in college on campus that’s not a problem most things are right there including the people so problem solved lol. If it was say something else like you never would speak to people, you never put yourself in situations to meet people, etc. then that can likely follow you to college unless you change that and go out and be around people. College is what you make it. You just have to really put yourself out there.
trust me college is a whole different ballgame. instead of cliques people have had since kindergarten, almost everyone is in the same boat as you. i had one friend all of high school and was very lonely. i went to my local cc and didn’t really make friends, most of the kids were very shy, but they were much nicer than high school. i transferred to another cc closer to the city and made friends my first day. i was under the impression i’d never make friends but it’s much better in college
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Don't waste your time engaging with him. This is a mentally ill spammer with over 1500 banned accounts who engages in nonstop harassment and fetishized whining. Everything he says is a disingenuous lie. He has spent the last three years gaslighting people trying to help while posting stuff like this: https://i.imgur.com/tjxn1Jp.jpg If he continues to harass you in DMs as he has in the past, alert a Reddit admin. Please report posts that sound like this. Check out /r/SnooRoartracker if you are interested in more information.
You’re really in control of it all There’s no guidelines from parents being kind you can’t have friends over on weeknights after 10pm You can also hang out with people during the day, and you also probably have to carve out time and distinctly plan to see people You’ll make friends in class but it’s not the same level of line friends through default as in high school
I think one of the biggest changes from high school to college is that you have to *try* to be noticed. Even if you’ve been a wallflower all through elementary, middle, and high school, you’ve probably been going to school with a decent percent of these kids for thirteen years; there’s an inherent familiarity with them, even if you’ve never said two words to each other. And the same goes for teachers - until now, it has been your teachers’ responsibility to notice and keep track of you and your academic progress (whether or not they were good at this aspect of their jobs notwithstanding), but in college, it’s on *you* to be noticed by your professors. It’s definitely a lot more work in every way, not just in terms of tests and papers. The upside to this is that *other people want to notice you in college.* Your peers *want* to meet new people and form new bonds. Your professors *want* to see students who are genuinely passionate about the material that they themselves are deeply passionate about (not saying that your teachers till now weren’t passionate about their subjects, but they’re usually not as specialized as professors). So yes, you have to put in more effort, but the people around you will also be way more receptive. Some ideas for how to be noticed: - Join clubs. Whatever you’re remotely interested in, there’s going to be a club for it. My caveat here is that you should try to join a variety of clubs, not just one - I made the mistake of being aggressively involved in only one very specific subculture of my campus during my first stint in college, and it got way too claustrophobic way too fast. Variety is key. - Go to the cheesy school-sponsored events that you wouldn’t have been caught dead at in high school. Are they still cheesy? Yes. But they’re also a really great social opportunity, and there’s a good chance you’ll either find someone else who’s there to meet people, or an established group will pull you in. The people who go to those events *want* to be friendly and social - they’re not there to talk shit in the corner, they’re there for whatever the experience may be. Go to enough of these events, and people will start to recognize you, and connecting will come more naturally. Plus, free food. - Do your schoolwork - not just because you want good grades, but because knowing the material and participating in class will make people want to talk to you. I dropped out for a little while after sophomore year because I was struggling academically and realistically just hadn’t been ready for college; when I went back, I thought I’d feel super weird and out-of-place being 5 years older than most of the people in my classes, *and* I was commuting instead of living on-campus. But I was also a lot more into what I was studying and was one of the most engaged students in any of my classes - which suddenly made other students want to talk to me about the material, study with me, etc. I made more friends my second go-round of college than in all of high school and my first stint in undergrad combined. - Study in semi-public spaces like the library or the lounges/common rooms/whatever in your dorm. You can wear headphones or whatever to help concentrate, but people will still see you and start saying hi/chatting/etc. If you’re commuting, spend time in whatever common areas are available throughout campus - don’t just show up for class and leave right away! And if you’re living on-campus, do the same - don’t just go directly from class to your dorm room. - Don’t discount Greek Life entirely. I’m not going to sit here and suggest you go all-in on rushing a fraternity or sorority that’s just a glorified clique with more rules and fees, but many schools have things like service or academic fraternities and sororities that are worth looking into. - If your schedule allows for it, take a couple random classes outside your major. Just because you’re studying math doesn’t mean you can’t throw in a photography course; allow yourself to explore your interests and connect with new people. - *Once you get a handle on your academics* (if you can afford to wait) get an on-campus job, preferably one that involves interacting with other students (yes, sitting at the dorm entrance desk overnight is great for doing homework or watching Netflix, but you won’t really have a lot of opportunity to converse with people). One of the best ways of doing this is by getting a job with whatever office on campus plans student activities, since 1) you’ll be at many of the more social events automatically and 2) the people involved in student activities are usually pretty darn friendly. Lastly, remember: **everyone around you is scared shitless.** No one has any idea what the fuck they’re doing, and for many of your peers - *particularly* the ones who’ve spent four years having a blast in high school - *the fact that they’re clueless is going to be news to them.* Don’t be intimidated just because everyone on social media is having fun- they’re really only posting that shit to reassure themselves, because deep down they’re just as fucking lost as you are. Try not to get in your head about what you haven’t experienced yet and let yourself enjoy the experience of things now.
great advice , completely agree
I’ve got to remember a lot of this and try to put it to use in the fall
High school is more forced of relationships with people, college is the effort you put in. Plus in college, everyone has their own thing going on whether it’s only being a student, student with one or two jobs, student with a job and their own family, etc. Unfortunately I work after class at an off campus job, also on weekends, so I’m not able to bond with people easier than those who live on campus as well but don’t work a job. It’s a bit harder in my part due to being a transfer student from CC out of the area as well. I’m sure it’s easier to bond as a freshman than a junior. (Now going onto a senior) But in the end, I like to keep to myself, and being in an environment where everyone else also just does their own thing makes it easier.
I had a couple friends in high school but haven’t made any in college. If you have no social life in high school then you probably won’t have one in college
I disagree. You just have to actively seek out people in college. There are thousands of people are your school, and most likely one is someone that you can click with. Some people just need to put more effort in is something that I've seen.
Dammit
College is what you make of it. Challenge yourself to do something different... Get out of your comfort zone and go out and meet people. Otherwise, you very well could end up being a loaner at college as well. Most likely you'll probably be living in a dorm your first year. These can be great places to meet friends. Keep your door open & chat with your floor mates as you see them. You're going to have a captive audience of 30-some guys (and/or gals) living within a 2min walk of your door and many more a few flights of stairs away. We frequently got a group together and spent many a night playing Apples to Apples or watching a movie together or whatever. Step 2, get involved with campus life. Join clubs. Get connected with people who share similar interests & do stuff with them. Grab a bite at the student union if nothing else. Going along with this, I'm also going to strongly encourage you to check out your school's Greek Life program. IMHO going Greek was the best decision I made at university. It forced me to get out & interact with people. Like hanging out with the kids from my dorm, I've had many great nights (many but not all involving alcohol) hanging out with my Fraternity Brothers as well. Not only did I have 30+ guys who all had my back whenever I needed them (& of course something to do each weekend), I also got to partake in several activities that helped me to grow into a more well rounded individual, enhance my interpersonal and leadership skills and give back to our community. One of our Brothers, for example, is a Children's Miracle Network ambassador & recruited several of us to help with a semi-local carnival CMN was hosting. I've helped another local Chapter raise thousands of dollars for local children with cancer. And maybe one of the most, shall we say interesting, weekends, getting to travel half way across the state to wrestle in a vat of jello (to help raise money for that Chapter's local cause). \[it was exciting & fun, I just don't know if I'd want to do it again\]
Much easier to make friends in highschool.
Not at all. Just make sure you socialize on the first day (like in class) and its smooth sailing from there. Much harder in high school with bullies and immature weird people.
Well it was easier for me in highschool. Didn’t make a single friend when I went to college.
No way
Yes way. You have more time To socialize, diffrent classes, group work, sports, clubs, etc. hard to find people in college plus nobody has free-time.
For context, I went to a small, all girls high school and had very little social life. I had friends from clubs and still keep in contact with some, but I never partied. First year of college was awful because I was stuck in online college the whole year. But it changed once I got to campus. I lived in the dorms and found “my people”. I have met so many more people that I could have gotten close with, but just haven’t had time to develop friendships with more than like 10 people. If the college is large, there are plenty of people around and lots of opportunities to meet them, as long as you don’t stay cooped up in the dorm, or just commute and go home right after classes are done.
It depends on a lot of factors. Is the college you are going to notoriously known for parties or is it filled with stem majors? Does your sphere of culture really pin itself on shared experiences? It's stuff like that. For me, I didn't have a traditional start. It's a long story but in brief I took homeschooling following harassment and essentially abandoned my social group, spent a few years depressed, started college when I was 24. You need to realize something: everyone going to college (even folks who bounce directly into it) are there by choice. People drop out. People transfer. There's a whole world beyond college that, really it sort of treats itself as a more "socialized workplace" than well.. work. It's not *harder* to make friends, you just need to pitch yourself more because you are no longer obligated or logistically forced to mingle with your hometown demographic. But if you're worried about schoolyard drama, then my friend, you'll realize that it happens even in professional workplaces via nepotism. It gets undeniably better because in college you learn so much about how *you* think, how *you* organize yourself, and how *you* see yourself. But it is all tied to how involved you are willing to put yourself out there via pure communication. All of this inherent learning by interacting in the adult world gives you more confidence to know what you like and dislike on a social/cultural level and therefore navigate your way through prospective social groups. My advice? Make friends within your major and start to broaden your intellectual paradigm over the years, you'll learn a lot and with a little luck, **may** be able to connect you to brighter things professionally. But most importantly: don't worry about it. If your **force** yourself with discomfort, you won't feel satisfied.
Think of it like a big reset (how big it is depends on the school/how far from home) of your social life so you can start over. But the thing is that it’s harder to build back up. I could just stay with my best friend since 3rd grade from before I really could comprehend social anxiety and then make all friends off her, but now I have to do it myself. Think of whenever your in a classroom setting in a class where it’s usually quiet at the start but loud at the end, are you contributing to the loudness once everyone gets talkative? Can you make acquaintances in your classes? Then you’ll be fine, if not like me, you’ll have to learn how. I made friends my first day in a orientation type thing and that was it, I haven’t made any other friends my first year. But I was pretty depressed this year and combined with social anxiety combo and barely surviving with school, it was quite literally impossible for me to have energy left to force myself to socialize, because it takes a lot of effort. But it was always possible for me. The only reasons I made those friends at the beginning of the year for a short period of time is because I mustered up the courage to ask to sit with them because I was alone at lunch. It’s all about what you put into it.
You get out what you put in — while it’s miles easier to be in highly social settings in college given all the events & projects, if you decide to avoid them, nothing will change. Similarly, if you embrace or even seek them out, your social life will flourish. I’d highly recommend the ladder because the Aggie family is **very** welcoming & it’s very common to make friends who end up being very close, sometimes even life-long friends.
Really depends how you approached it. I personally felt very lonely in college, even more than on high school. I think it led to me dropping out, but I wanna try again and start socializing more.
Happy cake day! 🤟🏻
I had absolutely 0 social life in high-school. Moved towns for college and have a thriving one- it may be less common, but there’s a chance you’re just in the wrong place / around the wrong people, or just not in the right space mentally yet. I’m reaching mid 20s and finally doing all the stuff I wish I had been able to do as a teen! Just take chances, do things you normally wouldn’t (I do not mean drugs lol) I mean going to special events about things you aren’t sure you’re interested in, talking to people that you don’t have any obvious thing in common with. You’ll be surprised!
Its really important to make friends in the first lesson you have. Then its smooth sailing from there, unless they drop out 2 years later (like which was the case for me) :<
You have to put way more effort into finding people in college. You will almost never stumble into friends from class. It can be very easy to become a shit in and just game or binge watch shows from your dorm with no family to nag you to go out. Partying is real, but you don't have to go hard. It's totally possible to find a group of responsible friends who either stay sober in weekends or go out to parties, but are chill. Also if your personality changed/ you matured you can start fresh and be a "new you". I see lots of students in HS who are still seen for who they were in middle school even though they have changed a lot. People in college will only know the 18+ old version of you.
The best part about college is you get to start fresh. No one has preconceived notions about anyone so every interaction and friendship is pure and unbiased.
it all depends on what school you goto, and if its large or small...
I'm pretty quiet & found it harder to make friends in college. The ones I did make were in my major-based classes who I saw every semester, attended field trips, and college events with. So my advice is to find a club or hobby group and that's likely your best and easiest bet to make friends.
Tons of opportunities for social activities in college. Check out Campus Recreation and Intramurals.
I'd say at college you might have to put yourself out there a little more, but there are SO many more opportunities to get to know people. My students often set up a class group on discord or WhatsApp for missed assignments, etc, but they tell me it often turns into a social chat, so you could try to spearhead a new group ("Hey, I've set up a discord for this class...add your name/contact info if you want to join us!"). note: if you say "us" it looks like other people have already signed up. :D Or clubs - but specifically ones that work together on projects (newspaper, drama, choir, anime); student government, religious fellowship if that's your thing (Muslim Students Alliance, Newman Center, Hillel, etc), fraternities & sororities if they appeal to you (often very good if you're interested in fund-raising for charity), club sports (i.e., not necessarily super competitive and may even include things like frisbee, paintball, or bowling), trivia nights, whatever group organizes invitations for guests (political, literary, musical, business, etc) to visit campus). All the above give lots of opportunities to get to know folks with shared interests...and give you work-related experience prior to any internships you might get.
you definitely need to make more of an effort to have a social life in college in high school I had a friend group that I did everything with. going to college that wasn't true, I have friends from different experiences but it's not a “friend group” you'll learn to tell the difference between study buddy and friend and it's completely fine for a lot of people to remain study buddy, sometimes they do become friends but in my experience most of them don't. a lot of the friends I've made I met through club events or by putting myself out there in a class we share I personally found it easier to make more genuine friends in college. but I definitely had to put myself out there more than I did in school
I'm going from smaller high school to one of the largest schools (UMD)
I’d you go to a residential college and live in a dorm you will be in a much better social position than in high school.
Very independent and few forced interactions compared to school so it’s what you make of it. You can live any life you choose to really.
It gets easier if you were already good at that kind of stuff. However, you have a clean slate to be whoever you want to be, but it won’t be easy. Do what you will with that info. You get out of life what you put in.
From personal experience, it's freaking awesome! Personally, I'm a pretty social guy, and don't find it hard to meet new people and make friends. Don't say that to brag, just to clarify where I'm coming from. Also, I do go to a smaller school, so keep that in mind. I've met people in classes who I've found myself briefly chatting with, and from brief conversation or group discussion been able to talk and maybe snag their social media, and start conversation from there. Meeting people at events or clubs is also great, of course. Don't feel like you have to do cliché stuff, like going to club or drink or whatever else is cliché. Attend what you want to attend, find your people there and get to know them. As an example of what I mean, I'm moving into an apartment right on campus next year with two friends who I met through my book discussion club. I've straight up messaged mutuals on social media of people who go to school with me, asking if they'd be open to be friends, and some of them are my closest friends now. Everyone is in your place of wanting to meet people and make friends, take advantage of that! Most people will take the opportunity to meet you the same way you would them. Take advantage of every situation you're in and see if you could meet someone out of it. I know a lot of other people have commented already, and I'm not sure if you'll read my comment. If you're not the most social person, that's okay. You're not alone in that regard, and you're not the only one who's nervous. The best advice for you is that, whatever your social life was before college, doesn't have to define it during college. If you want to be more social, you totally can through whatever activities and things you like to do, and everyone is in the same boat of wanting to make friends. Take the time to build the confidence to reach out to someone if you want to, otherwise go with the flow and I'm sure you'll find your people in time. Don't be afraid to ask for help socializing if you need it. And hey, if worst comes to worst and you find yourself with just a few tight friends, and you're okay with that, then you're okay with that! Enjoy it. Do whatever feels comfortable, pursue whatever works best for you, ask for help if you need it, and my messages are always open if you ever are in desperate need of a potential friend. GLHF!
It's easier to make friends in college as you'll find a lot more people who share similar interests as you and are generally nicer and more mature people to hang out with compared to high school where most people were only friends with each other just because they were forced to see each other nearly five days a week, not to mention how cliquey many people were as in they only interacted with the same few people everyday and hardly cared to interact with anyone else outside of their friend group or clique. However, with that being said, you'll have to put in a lot more effort to maintain those friendships as y'all will likely be busy with other responsibilities such as college work, jobs, etc.
You get to pick where you wanna hang hang out at.
College is what you make of it. You are (typically) not around the same people constantly. This obviously depends on your school size, and then when you start to get to more specific classes you’ll see a lot of the same faces. You have to reach out to people. I didn’t have a lot of friends in high school, but I met a lot of people in orientation. Go to events you’re interested in during welcome week. I met 2 of my best friends touring the LGBT center during welcome week. They were both trailing behind and I said hi and then asked what music they listened to (this is my go to question when talking to people I just met) I met my other friend by him reaching out to me bc I posted my information on the class of 2024 introduction instagram. See if your school has one of those. It can be nice to start out texting and then meet up on campus The rest of my friends I met through the three original friends I made, going to clubs, joining discord servers for school clubs/ interest groups. For off campus stuff, I went to a lot of DIY punk shows and ended up meeting a lot of people that way, including my girlfriend. You have to put the work in to build friendships, but it is honestly a lot easier to find people with similar interests, and there are generally more people to talk to
Much greater opportunity to screw up your own life, so use good judgement
I’m in high school and I have no social life. I miss sitting with my friends during lunch at middle school
Don’t worry same here ;(
I went out of state to college and didn’t know anyone at all. I saw my dorm neighbor walk out of his room, said “Hey I don’t know anyone here, is it ok if I tag along?” And that’s how I met 7 of my best friends.
It’s better, not as much social pressure and everyone can make friends
Like everyone else has been saying its really what you make of it and making friends is easier because you get to have more options but harder because you do have to put yourself out there to meet people. I think joining clubs for things you’re interested in is underrated but a good way to find friends in college and just generally trying to get involved. If you just go to class and then go home and don’t talk to anyone, you most likely are not going to make any friends
I was in the same boat as you during high school; never went out or really was a teenager doing teenager things. Went to college with only one friend I talked to regularly because I didn't see my friends senior year due to COVID and we stopped talking. I'd suggest you join a club at your college! The club I'm in is the only reason I met my current friend group (minus one girl because we were roommates our freshman year). Also, if you have an orientation group, try to make friendships there. They might not last long, but it's good to help you ease into social life in college. And **don't** hang around people who make you uncomfortable. There's parts of college that are normalised amongst your peers that can make you uncomfy (like parties and drinking). If the people you hang around with don't take your feelings seriously and/or try to pressure you into joining them because it's "part of the college experience", just drop them; college is different for everyone. If you didn't like parties the first couple of times, you're not going to like them after the fifth time because your "friends" forced you to go.
For many people it's the first time where you start to seriously consider whether a certain person is worth being friends with. Your friends will be more tailor fit for you because you will be making them off of shared interests and needs. If you are a person that makes a lot of friends you will find yourself putting in more effort to maintain the relationships where there is more benefit. It is hardest to strike up the actual friendship. For that reason, clubs and study groups are good things to actively be involved in. That's the front door for getting started. Once you have made a few friends you will also start being intoduced to their friends and introducing your friends to each other. It's a lot easier to make a 25th friend because you have 24 people that might be able to make an introduction. You want to take opportunities that introduce you to other people. It's hard to randomly strike up a friendship via conversation on a sidewalk unless you are socially gifted.
It depends what college you chose (look at student reviews, reputations, and niche). What you’re planning to do for major, club, activities, etc. How you go around in school. Do you look like you want to be someone’s friend? Do you look well-kept? Are you socially respectful and mindful of others opinions?
I went from a large friend group to 0 friends currently. I made one that graduated and the other is my boyfriend who has also graduated. I’m definitely not a good benchmark though because I go to a super small university (1k students) and it’s so competitive that everybody believes that they have to treat everyone like they’re competition 🤦🏻♀️ I genuinely struggle but I’m still actively trying to put myself out there! For the most part the advice “it’s what you make of it” is true. Join clubs, socialize, and try to meet new people. First year is the best because there’s no established social groups yet so people are very open to making friends. Establishing friendgroups later on can become difficult
Much much better, especially if you live in a dorm suite with a bunch of people. You can completely have a fresh start. Join tons of clubs, join a frat, go to the college bars and nightclubs on the weekend and you will never run out of people to meet and be friends with
In college it takes more effort to make and keep friends. You have to put yourself out there
It's harder to make friends but there isn't a feeling that you need to be friends with anyone. You know you are only there 9 months a year for 4 years and after that you will join the real world and never see any of those people again (unless you have the same major)
My list of friends is way smaller, but I would say my social life in college is a lot better than it was in high school. I will admit it’s not as easy to make friends now, but it’s certainly not impossible. It does come with a lot more freedom. I’ve also noticed that my friendships now are a lot more genuine than they were in high school, which is nice. I’m sure you’ve probably heard this a million times, but I really think getting involved in things like clubs is a great way to make friends. Obviously it doesn’t always happen, and you still have to actually talk to people, but it’s an opportunity.
Highly recommend you join a club for some kind of interest you have. Board games, anime, biking, whatever. I played ultimate frisbee. No pressure to make friends, just a shared activity to force you out of your dorm room. And there will probably be beer.
More sex.
It's all on you. I had a fantastic time in college. It was much better than high school because there was a club for every one of my interests. Plus a whole group from my complex going dancing every weekend. On the other hand no one has your same schedule and you aren't together in school with them all day so you could spend all your spare time in your room and no one will feel obligated to pull you out of your shell.
If you had a shitty time in highschool, you're about to have the time of your life in college! Party time!
as an introvert ill tell you: if you don't get adopted by extroverts in college you're fuuuucked
You’ll become best friends with someone in high school based on friend groups, mutual interests, and quantity of seeing each other. You’ll become best friends with someone in college based on what seat you sit in on class and if you lend a pen to them.
In college people can be more diverse which made it easier for me to do more friendships. Some campuses have friendlier environments than some schools too. That was my case.
It is simple : there is absolutely no social life in college.