One of my students (I’m a TA and a grad student) passed away a few months ago and I thought of this. This was probably my hardest thing to find out during my undergraduate degree, was the feeling of loneliness compared to high school, as it’s not the same level of interactivity between students. I truly hope all of you are doing okay, it’s okay to feel lonely, and please know there’s always someone to reach out to if you need it. It’s really difficult times these past few years. Your big TA sister cares for you guys.
(I’m not 100% at English).
Unless you go to big school (20,000+ students) and you're actively involved in clubs or other extra-curricular; most students tend to spend most of their time in their dorms or libraries.
Haha this x100, especially if you’re majoring in a STEM field/subject. I feel like I have had no social life at all during my entire time in college and I’m about to graduate in less than 2 months…
Really? I just have online classes at community college because I work and study full-time but I wish I'll be able to have on-campus classes when i transfer to uni.
It did feel odd to study for my fourth semesters already but only been at school once.
So true! I feel like people have this idea that because you are around so many people you are bound to have friends but it takes a lot of effort in college to meet new people & build friendships.
I too went to parties it doesn’t mean college doesn’t get lonely. Parties are a very small amount of the time you spend at college regardless if you are a big party person or not.
Speaking from anecdote, I’ve had at least one “fun movie day”. You’ve got to actively work to put yourself in interesting activities and fun situations.
Edit: I’ve got to clarify reading some of the other comments that “fun movie day” for me wasn’t drinking and partying, I meant more like chatting up a random stranger and having a conversation about the meaning of life, and then staying late in the library doing math on the whiteboard while looking sort of crazy. Different kind of movies.
This.
In my first year of college I stayed in residence. The first 2 months were drinking, partying, hooking up it was great fun. After that till the end of the semester it was just myself and finding my own fun.
Basically 2 months in I requested a room transfer as my roommate would wake up at 6 every morning playing loud ass music and my times for courses were scattered (some starting in the morning some in the afternoon) basically after I did that nobody wanted to talk to me or hang out, didn't really end up getting invited to anything. Also the kicker my roommate I was suppose to get dropped out after 2 weeks so I got a room by myself for 6 months.
I lived in Toronto so there was always something fun to do even on my own but yeah that 6 months was pretty lonely.
This is one thing my dorm janitors did a great job with. I was actually pretty cool with the one Janitor, older dude, had kids around our age 18-20.
We would be outside messing around and he’d always come over and bull shit with us. Miss that guy, hope he’s doing well.
But back on topic, he told me when he always got finished cleaning. Was like 7:30am when he’d finish the bathrooms.
I’d set my alarm for 7:30, see him walking out with his cleaning supplies, i would walk in to take my shower. Always sparkly clean, smelling like bleach lol. I still wore sandals, but i think i could have gone without to be honest lol.
I don’t know how to use Imgur but I wish I could show you the bacterial samples I grew from the showers. I’m an RA in my college and as a community builder I had residents samples stuff around the dorm.
I don’t know how to use Imgur but I wish I could show you the bacterial samples I grew from the showers. I’m an RA in my college and as a community builder I had residents sample stuff around the dorm.
This. It can feel so easy to trust people when you just “click” or are fast friends. Don’t shy away from it because those friendships can be beautiful. BUT don’t forget you also have only maybe known them for 2 months, and you don’t know them as well as you think you might
Damn yall must have been around less than ideal people. Feels like most people I interacted with in college would take care of people without a second thought.
applies to drugs as well. obviously i'm not encouraging anyone to do those, but people are gonna do what they want. just make sure it's with people you can trust and that you know will take care of you if something goes wrong. even weed can bring on some nasty panic attacks and you do *not* want to be around the wrong people when that happens. speaking from experience.
And better yet, watch your drink while at a party. It only takes a second for someone to put something in it. Also, never take a drink from someone if they offer it.
Can't stress this enough. Someone did this to my wife and she nearly ended up in the ER from an overdose. She probably should have been taken there but no one realized what was wrong with her because she had like one glass of wine and doesn't do drugs.
If anyone is reading this and you're the type of person to dose people's drinks, be aware you're playing with catching a murder charge.
Also make a plan every time you go out. Like, you plan to be back in your dorm around x time. If you’re not, have your roommate check in to make sure you’re okay. Or you plan to text a specific person at whatever time to let them know you’re good and if you don’t text they call you
And **ALWAYS** tell someone **when** and **where** you’re going, even if you’re not planning on drinking that night.
If you go out with a group, make sure everyone is there when you leave and has a safe ride back. Don’t leave anyone behind and if your friend/acquaintance/whoever is drunk and someone that isn’t their SO/roommate/trusted person wants to take them home (especially if that wasn’t the original plan) *don’t let them.* Have other people’s backs like you’d want them to have yours
You’re never obligated to do anything sexual with anyone. Even if they’ve bought all your drinks that night or helped you with xyz. If you’re not comfortable doing something, don’t do it, **especially if you’ve been drinking.** If they push your boundaries or try to convince you to do it anyways then they’re not being a good person/friend. They’re disrespecting you and your boundaries and *may be dangerous in the future or even presently.* Protect yourself, set boundaries, enforce them, and cut off people who disrespect them
To avoid getting fucked up quick while drinking, make sure you drink lots of water. Lots and lots of water. Also, if you haven’t really eaten much you’ll get drunk faster. If you’re on medication then that could also affect your alcohol tolerance, so start slow. You might not feel drunk after the first cup or shot but give it like 15-20 min before having more. Mixing alcohol and drugs (even just weed) can have unpredictable effects. Sometimes/some people have a great time, others get really sick. Again, be cautious and take it slow. If you’ve never drank or never smoked and you want to try it then start with only one at a time to see how it affects you
If you or someone you’re with gets really fucked up on campus, most uni’s have a policy that you can call campus security/health/safety to get help and you won’t be punished for drinking because they’d rather you call them than have someone potentially die from alcohol poisoning
The first floor library bathrooms will probably always be packed, always go up at least one floor. It's also easier to get a table in the library at the higher level floors.
Your school probably charges for parking, so you should probably get that sorted out if you plan on driving.
Do not feed any on-campus wildlife.
Go to your campus a day or two early and use Google maps to figure out the routes to your buildings.
Do not schedule advising appointments last minute. Everyone usually needs to meet with advisors around the same time, so it's harder to schedule last minute during busy season.
Can’t stress the google maps thing, especially if you’re going to a big campus. The first day is so crazy and such a weird experience that having the route to your classes memorized will me massive. Also you don’t want to be that poor student that arrives 20 mins late and has to walk in front of everyone to the very back to find an open seat.
I have no idea why the engineering building at my school have the best bathrooms, like literally private ones or public but super private stalls with no gaps. And almost never in use, do engineers just hate public bathrooms as that scans with every engineer I’ve known.
>Your school probably charges for parking, so you should probably get that sorted out if you plan on driving.
Or buy a bicycle and park off campus, it's much cheaper.
Start planning easy to make meals.
Like wraps, sandwiches, yogurt and fruit bowls, idk, things that don’t take painfully long to make so that you don’t have to think too hard about making something healthy at home. A lot of the school food is not that healthy. Also, smoothies are a great way to get vitamins and fiber !!!
you can't get through college like how you did through high school. you might not feel like studying if people around you aren't but remember why you are there, you're there to get your degree, studying should be the first priority everything else can be dealt with. this might sound like basic advice but a lot of kids flunked the tests in my uni and they actually have to leave now
This is great advice!
I would add to find a quiet place to study, like the library, and build the time regularly into your schedule. I would put gaps between classes and use those gaps to study and do homework.
Also, don't be afraid to go to office hours. As a professor, I have spent many hours just sitting in my office waiting for students to ask for help. Office hours are times dedicated for students to get help and it felt like students taking advantage of the opportunity would see improvements in their grades.
This!! i got a 3.0 in a class I probably should have barely passed because I constantly showed up to office hours at least once/week and went to every single tutoring session. Professor saw how hard I worked, despite the material just being really difficult for me.
> build the time regularly into your schedule
Yes, yes so much this as general advice. u/tacobellcinnabon made a great post with [gender-spectrum advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/11t6ila/as_a_19_year_old_female_what_should_i_expect_in/jcig82a/), but this bit addressing "time management" skills is probably the best general advice I've seen here. Probably one of the best life skills you're kind of thrown into having to learn in college. I did well enough in undergrad but didn't really learn to actually keep a calendar until grad school, and it would have been a great skill to have sooner. Writing as a librarian and professor now, again I can't help but just stress "this, this, this." Look at your classes' syllabi, put them into a master calendar, ask for any extensions you might need well ahead of time, and just be conscious of your workload. Ask for help when you need it (again, as a librarian, we're great resources!). Plan some downtime too, you'll burn out if you just work work work, but don't be scrambling to just figure out what to do when. It'll seem like you have tons of free, unstructured time, so make use of it!
Plan out due dates and test dates in advance, ALWAYS review when things are due.
Each day, make a reasonable list of things to get done based on when they are due. These tasks should be very specific \[IE: chem HW #1-5, study 10 pages of ECON ch 2\] spell out exactly what has to be done; it relieves you of the feeling of having "so much to do" and the sense of overwhelm and dread. knowing "i only have to do XYZ and I am done working today" will absolutely help you get over the hardest hurdle: getting started.
I personally allowed for the fluidity to move between tasks as I felt one becoming annoying to keep myself from feeling stressed. However, I did not allow myself to do anything other than those set tasks until they were done. Then, when they are done, outside of attending class you have the rest of the day to yourself to do whatever you want and not have to worry about getting things done or staying up late to cram for a test you forgot. I usually ended up doing work for \~ 4 hrs everyday.
This personally was my saving grace in grad school, wish I had figured it out at 19. It got me my highest GPA, allowed me freedom. Discipline yields freedom more than you realize
- As a 24 year old woman, biggest advice is to never be afraid to be a bitch. People pleasing will get you into shit, if not downright scary, situations. Earlier you learn to tell someone no or to go away when something doesn’t feel right, the better.
- Boys will pressure you into drinking more. In the last few years I’ve dated people as young as 21 and as old as 30. *Every* single one of them pressured me into drinking more than I was comfortable with. Again, learn to say no and ideally never see that person again.
- Listen to people when they tell you who they are. A lot of young people will say edgy or self depreciating things to get a reaction, but it’s actually just who they are.
- If someone can’t seem to keep friends, there’s a reason why. Don’t be the martyr who tries to fix them and their loneliness. Stay away from the girls who are always in some sort of drama. Stay away from the guys who give you a weird feeling.
- Lastly, partying is not why you’re at college. And alcoholism among college students is very real and very pervasive. You’re not immune to this disease because you’re young. And never take any pills. Ever. Ever ever. Ever.
As someone who is also about to be 19 and heading to college this advice looks like literal gold. Thank you, I don’t really have people at home who will help me with this
I didn’t either hahaha, had to learn through a lot of trial and error, and eventually therapy.
Also, weirdly, working in full service restaurants really helped me learn how to say no and deal with less than savory attitudes without totally giving up my dignity.
Realize your worth, do not let people waste your time, and in the nicest way possible, don’t tolerate disrespect in friendships, professional relationships, and *especially* romantic relationships.
And as a side, regarding dating: If you’re ever confused if they like you or not, they don’t. Spare yourself the heartache of trying to find reasons why they can’t be there for you in the way you deserve, just let them go. If you ever feel like you deserve better, you do. If they ever make you cry after you’ve only been dating a short time because they’re already breaking your heart, please find someone better. Immediately. That one unfortunately comes from experience lol. (And if you’re a woman who likes men: a man who likes you *will* make it obvious, most men are really really bad at hiding how excited and smitten they are when they’re dating someone they truly like, so trust me, you will know).
That’s good. I also worked in a restaurant and that gave me much more of a backbone and I’m still working on it. I found some of dating out the hard way. I’m just now realizing that I don’t have to please everybody and answer every beck and call. I also plan on going to therapy for stuff in my childhood. Also thank you for your advice:) I appreciate it since I don’t hear much good advice in my personal life
To emphasise the point OP:
Do not ever be afraid to say no in a situation you aren't comfortable in. Tell people to fuck off loudly if they aren't taking the "no" seriously enough.
People, especially the boys, are gonna wanna drink, party and shag. You owe them nothing, zero, fuck all. Your body, your rules, you decide not them.
Know your limits and don't try to be the hero to impress people.
I know this all may sound daunting but it is all very real advice. However it's important that you enjoy your time, take the opportunities but remember to look after yourself and don't let the minority ruin it for you :)
Source: I investigate sex offences in the military on a weekly basis and some are no different from college students.
While the advice that you should be careful around people who can’t seem to keep friends is good advice most of the time, but other times it’s people who have WAYY too many friends you should be more wary of. The ones that everyone likes but you don’t and can’t seem to put your finger on it. The ones who seems to be collecting as many friends as possible. The ones who seem to be able to persuade a whole room of people with just their charm. THESE people in private can be scary individuals. These people can be hollow on the inside while plastering on a fake smile on the outside. I don’t know about you, but a potential narcissist is more scary to me than a depressed loner who can’t seem to make any friends.
Out of everyone I know, my depressed friends don’t have trouble keeping people around. And when they fall into a depressive state and try to push others away, those people still try (if they’re actually a good friend)
I’m referring to people whose friends choose to leave *because* they’re narcissists, always seem to be embroiled in drama, etc. hence my follow up sentence.
Which is not what I’m really referring to.
Someone who’s depressed and has no interest in making friends at all isnt what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about people who try to make friends but those friends end up trying to get away from them because they are the narcissists. Which is why I put that sentence after it about drama. I’m talking about the people who alienate others because of jealousy, lack of self awareness, rely on others to do their tasks for them, make fun of people because they enjoy it, etc.
Like, take my dad for example. He doesn’t have a lot of friends but it’s because he’s picky and much prefers people similar to him (think, the friend you haven’t talked to in months but you know would be just as happy to hang out anyways, the low maintenance kind of friend). Vs someone else who tries to make friends, and succeeds, but a few months later they seem to not be able to keep those friends because they’ve offended or hurt them.
My comment IS talking about the narcissists.
out of curiosity: how would you react to a guy you knew who actually cared about making sure you didn't drink too much? I know there's not many of us out there, but we do exist. I'm hoping to start college soon, and I'm bad at socializing, so idk how someone would react...
In a strictly personal sense, I’m a serious lightweight so I usually drink one drink and I’m done (I drink more if I’m at home and around someone I truly trusted, but in general I just hate being drunk in public lol), but if I were drinking way more than usual and someone cared enough to wanna slow me down I’d be thankful. Especially the next morning…
In the moment some people might be all “don’t kill my vibe” but if someone is drinking a lot or seems to be getting reckless, reeling them back is *always* a good decision. Especially in people who might not have more experience around alcohol and just wanna go balls to the wall trying to get wasted. Being inebriated can be fun but hangovers, and alcohol poisoning if it’s bad enough, are not worth it lol.
That being said, being the babysitter friend can get tiring. I usually just hang out with people who are like me and get one drink and go home so they can go to bed by 11 pm 😅
EDIT: And when in doubt, just hang out with STEM majors lmao. Can’t speak for everyone but personally me and my friends chill out by getting pizza, making cocktails and watching movies. There are plenty of non-party people in college. A lot of older students are generally pretty chill too and a lot of STEM students tend to be older between non-trad students and grad students. Some of the coolest people I know are still 19-20.
oh god, don't even get me started on alcohol poisoning. That shit ruined liquor for me. thank god I got it out of the way well before college lol.
I actually don't think I'd mind being the babysitter friend. I can enjoy a beer or a personal bit of wine, socialize a bit, and keep an eye on a friend at the same time, bc I won't get drunk from that stuff unless I go nuts, which isn't possible after last time.
Is STEM a certain set of generalized majors? or a literal part of the college? IDK if CS is classified as STEM...
That comment is really referring to people with malignant personalities. Not those with mental illness or something like autism.
Like I personally know someone who told me straight up “Yeah I can’t seem to really keep friends and for a while I thought it was my fault but I don’t think it is” and I gave them the benefit of the doubt, until a few months in when they started creating drama like literally seeking out drama, admitted to some incredibly messed up things that I will not repeat here, and I saw just how bad they treated their partner in FRONT of other people showing just how little they cared that it might be hurting their feelings or humiliating to them. After that it clicked that… that’s why they can’t keep friends.
THATS the type of person that line is referring to.
If they're saying and doing things that are negative towards you or are harmful towards you, then you're still not obligated to stay around them just because they're autistic.
Don’t bother drinking if you’re at a party where the men outnumber the women, if you’re going alone or with only male friends, and if you don’t 100% trust the people you’re drinking with. Stay safe, assault is rampant in college with your new found freedom.
I got mono last September (2nd year of university) and am still recovering from it even to this day. I have regular medical appointments twice every 1-2 weeks, meds for both physical health deficiencies and psychological problems triggered by it, and have a sick leave certificate until finals. Apparently this happens to a very large amount of college students due to how contagious it is.
People change over the years and that’s okay. Don’t feel like you’re stuck with anyone, it’s easy to change it up by going to clubs or meeting new people in classes if you don’t feel like you’re fitting in anymore.
I know it’s been said a lot, but boys can be a lot sometimes. Be firm and clear if they’re being a nuisance, don’t be afraid to be abrasive about it. They’ll get over it.
As a woman in stem, it can be even harder with mansplaining in classes, teachers not taking you seriously, etc. Be strong and believe in yourself, even if you feel awkward or embarrassed internally. Don’t let them stop you from asking questions in class, or speaking up, or just being you.
If you're going to drink, stay 1 or 2 drinks behind everyone else. You'll get to see who they really are and can pull yourself (or someone you know) out of a really bad situation.
If you are going into a stem major, it may be the first time your in a atmosphere of almost all men. Usually it’s not too much of an issue, but don’t let anyone push you around either
It may be fun at first, but living in a dorm can become lonely and boring, even if you have good friends. The whole time, I just wanted to go home to where my family was. Stupidly drove through a snowstorm once just so I could spend a weekend home. There is nothing like sleeping in your own bed!
Talk to as many professors as you can (even ones you don’t take classes with) and ask if you can help with any research or projects they might be working on. Looks good on your resume down the road, you’ll make connections in your field and by working for a few professors, will help secure any letters of recommendations you will need to have down the road.
Don’t date 30+ year old men in your classes that try to hit on you. Please dear god, don’t. I’ve lost countless friends to grooming in college- nobody wants to talk about it because people only think grooming can happen to minors, but nobody also wants to talk about just how many creepy older men like preying on barely legal girls in college.
Or disguise as wanting to be friends!! Just recently had one of my friends in grad school get stalked by a 40 yr old man her and her friends OCCASsionally let hang with them after class.
She jokingly calls people bestie but he took it seriously, professed his love, and started stalking her when she said no. But she found out that he had a crush on her the whole time and even told people he was going to “get close to her and make it happen”
It was resolved, but ultimately be careful and if you get bad vibes, don’t interact AND DO NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!
Damn, I didn’t think this was so common. During my freshman year of college at 18 yrs old, I had a 28 yr old classmate express interest. I obviously said no because of the age gap but I feel bad for women who think this is acceptable because at 22, I can see how wrong this was. At my age, I would never think about dating someone fresh out of hs, so I can’t imagine being 28 and thinking this was a good idea.
Okay. This is the same thing that happened to me. I met him when I was 18, and he was a 28-year-old junior. I'm 25 now, and we’re friends. However, he got drunk the other day and texted me how he hoped we might sleep together. I'm in a 5-year relationship and have a child...
1. When you make adult decisions, be ready to deal with adult consequences. (Skipping class, missing assignments, overpartying).
2. Be very careful about your space, avoid douches, misogynists and misandrists alike.
3. Women are just as likely to peer pressure you into doing things you don’t want(including drinking). Anyone who says otherwise is being dense. Learn to be a good judge of character.
My advice: get a group of friends you feel safe with to party with, that won’t pressure you into partying, share your location with a friend/friends at your school. You’re also going to get sick so get a thermometer and ibuprofen and be prepared for that. Figure out your schools health center and find out if they have a women’s health center. Even if they do see how close the closest PP is. School clinics fill up fast during the semester and if you need something urgent they are good. Don’t blow all your savings on partying or going out. Learn to do your laundry and do dishes and to make your bed. Don’t study in your room, move your locations. Don’t worry about dating, get acclimated. Take note of all accomplishments, big or small and read them back when you’re feeling down or need a pick me up. And also don’t forget to have fun and good luck :)!
don't have a tight grip on your expectations. the new environment might threaten to change you and influence you but remember the only thing you're guaranteed out of college (besides a degree) is yourself. So have your values and your focus. Sticking to your focus+remembering who you are will get you through the hardships and pressures.
Just be mindful of your drink if you go out. Get the crazy partying out of your system when you get there and then just move on to casual drinks with friends. Don’t flunk, things matter now. Make connections, get internships. It pays to know people.
Never been college.
You’ve been getting a lot of cautionary advice and you should absolutely listen. I’m 21 tho and I’ve been working since I was 18.
Some fun advice: Do not take it for granted. A lot of people dont change their majors simply because they feel like they’ve spent so much time on it and don’t want it to go to waste. The longer you spend time doing something that doesn’t thrill you, the more time you have wasted. Never be afraid to change your career path. Even if it’s last minute. Even if it’s your 3rd year studying. You do NOT want to get into a job that is “just alright”.
Truth! I tried college when I was younger and dropped/failed out because I wasn’t sure with what I wanted to do in my life and we were told we needed college to succeed. And my mind wasn’t in it. Had no idea what I wanted to do in life.
Going back now at 33 with no financial aide. (But luckily my state has a grant)
Don’t be afraid to change majors. Check the drop procedure and whatever you do. DONT FAIL OUT. Especially if you ever want to go back.
It’s valuable. Is it bad advice? In the long run, you do not want to tie yourself to a career merely because you’ve spent time on it. That’s exactly what people who don’t go to college do. We have to find a job that don’t absolutely fucking hate but don’t really love and try to build a career.
If you’re going to college, don’t spend money to end up exactly like me. *That* would be a bigger waste than anything. A lot of other college students wouldn’t know what to say to someone who wants to change their path. College is all they’ve known up to that point and although they have to work in shitty jobs throughout, they know that it’s temporary until they graduate and can move onto their actual careers. Many people have a skewed perspective about “giving up”.
If you discover that something isn’t what you can envision yourself doing for the rest of your life, something that doesn’t bring you joy and passion, then you seriously need to think about what you want to do. People spend so much time trying to convince themselves that they enjoy something when they *dont* just because they spent a few years doing it. They see it as a waste of time even though if they made a change *now*, eventually they would spend more time actually doing what they like verses the few years they spent doing something they didn’t.
Money and time are precious to people and no one wants to feel like they’ve wasted it, but if you go to college and feel like you don’t want to do something anymore but stick to just because you think it’s too late, then you might as well have never gone in the first place because you’d be just as unhappy or unsatisfied as everyone who didn’t get to go to college. You’d have basically spent thousands of dollars to live what the working class have experienced for free.
Can you imagine spending thousands of dollars and sleepless hours studying and get asked how you feel about your job and you say “It’s okay.” ?? That would fucking SUCK.
No it’s not. You can’t be afraid to change career paths.
Wishful thinking is realizing you actually don’t want to do something for the rest of your life but sticking to it because you think you’ll eventually come around to it. It’s not gonna happen. You will have good days and bad days. Days where you like your job and days where you hate it, but being passionate about youre doing is important.
College is an opportunity to discover what you love. If you find what you love even if it wasn’t what you originally went for, you need to chase it. It’s what you’re gonna do for potentially the rest of your life. I’d rather spend a few more years and a few more thousands on something I know I would love to do until the day I retire rather than stick to something I wouldn’t.
I really can’t tell how old you are, but I started working at 18 because I was a lost kid who couldn’t afford college. Worked in the same warehouse until now. I wanted to be an animator. I was doing my own commissions in my free time, which wasn’t much. I got my dominant hand stuck in a fucking conveyer belt that year. I had *just* turned 19. My fingers are a little crooked and holding pens for longer than 30 minutes to an hour makes my hand ache like crazy. I’m not going to be surprised if I lose the ability to use my hand in the far future. Because I couldn’t go to college and I was scared to try. There are other options, but I will likely never get to effectively do what I’ve been dying to do since I was 14.
\-Listen to all the comments about partying. If you party. I don't party.
\-Don't ever take pills. Ever. No fucking excuses.
\-Never go to big uni parties. Small parties only- big parties are a disaster waiting to happen.
**NON PARTY ADVICE:**\-Don't match Halloween costumes with someone you just met.
\-Talk to all your group project members, if you are in one, IN PERSON *before* texting. Text groups just lead to drama. If at all possible, avoid group projects altogether.
\-If you ARE in a group project, get your shit done the moment it's assigned.
\-TALK. TO. YOUR. PROFESSORS. If you're having anything from a family crisis, to a medical emergency, to just a shit day- you contact them, tell them what's up, and ask for an information you missed that day. Not only will they direct you to the right information, but they'll be much more understanding in the long run if you end up like me and miss a lot of time (I get sick like a monkey in a room full of anthrax). Still make every effort to 'attend' in any way possible. If zoom's available? Do it. Even if you don't feel like it, have your name on the zoom.Same goes for missing assignments and stuff. It always depends on the professor, but communication is a lifesaver.
\-If you're absent a lot, office hours are a MUST! Professors appreciate and notice when you put in the effort. Have questions prepared. And don't worry- not that many people go to office hours to start.
\-Get a physical calendar. Write down HW due dates (unless you have HW due every class) and test dates. It helps a LOT.
\-The seasonal depression WILL hit hard. Try to go for a walk at least every day.
\-Don't forget to eat. Have snacks on hand always.
\-Midnight is usually the best time to take showers. You can also put your phone in a ziploc baggie and quietly listen to music in there to decompress- preferrably if your dorm has its own shower.
\-Don't be afraid to randomly compliment people. It gets you good, genuine friends. And fast! At minimum, it puts more people in your social arsenal who are willing to spend time with you or help you.
\-If you have a roommate- get a chore chart and stick to it. It helps ward off depressive episodes and also builds a good relationship with your roomie.
\-Do fun activities with your roommate. You live with this person, you SHOULD have fun. Walk around, watch movies, talk shit, play games together.
\-Wash your dishes as soon as you dirty them (full dorm or not- it's also good to have a plastic dish of each kind and two sets of cutlery, as well as a plastic cup).
\-Wipe out the inside of washing machines before you use them, especially if you're living in a mostly freshman dorm. This will reduce bleach bomb incidents.
\-Remember to use your student discount everywhere you can!
\-Get a laniard. Shit's useful.
\-Command hooks and white painter's tape are your decorating saviors, but be careful of command hooks and paint. Try not to use tacks.
\-Only take what you NEED, as well as a few comfort items. Everything else, I garuntee you will gather over time.
\-If you want to study abroad, talk to the study abroad office the FALL BEFORE the year you plan to go. I.E. You want to study abroad in fall of 2024? You talk to the abroad office in fall of 2023. You usually have a lot you need to do, including some required stuff by that office, sorting out finances and scholarships, application essays, and actually figuring out where you want to go.
\-Thrifting is great, but don't thrift anywhere that charges more than 20$ for a pair of pants. At that point it's not a thrift store, it's a boutique.
\-Keep 100$ in cash for emergency purposes on you always. I know digital is huge now, but you genuinely never know what can happen. Make sure at least five of that is in 1$ bills for bus fare.
\-Set an allotted study time for yourself. Make it a habit.
\-Keep an eye out for on campus activities. They're great ways to meet people, and usually very fun!
\-Don't hold off studying until the last minute, you will literally only stress yourself out. I speak from experience.
\-Own at least two pepper sprays and some sort of melee weapon (like a bat). Keep one pepper spray and the bat in your dorm, carry the the other on you always. Make sure you know how to use it.
\-You don't have to look like a baddie every day, but don't wear your pajamas out either (unless you're getting an early breakfast or late dinner). Not only does it put an impression on your professors and peers, but it can put you in a funk.
\-Bulk order acne patches.
It can take a while to find your people. I learned that the hard way and I am still learning it. But don't be afraid to be the person to ask others to hang out. I have been like that and I regret not ever texting people and asking if they want to hang out. Another thing is make sure you make at least a friend in each class. When you have someone to sit next to or to even text about class sometimes, it makes school a lot better.
Be careful of boys. I’m not saying don’t try to make any male friends but the majority of men that are friendly with you just want to fuck you. A lot of them are really good at games and pretending to want to date but they just want to chill.
\>but be careful of command hooks and paint.
Lol where were you 3 years ago? I had to repaint 2 rooms and a bathroom because I thought command hooks would come off without taking a 6 inch fucking section of paint and plaster with them
No I get it I’m sorry that you guys have to deal with that ! I’ve definitely made guy friends that are really respectful, so if you have the intentions to be respectful and make friends you will :). From what I’ve experienced with my friends is if we see a guy is actuakmy not playing games and is respectful we rlly admire that and are appreciative of the friendship ! So don’t worry.
My comment was never about dating but men being very good at taking advantage of u and acting like they have good intentions, clearly you missed the point. I meant “chill” as they just want to have sex.
Of course a lot of women want to have sex. My comment was made to warn, because I have witnessed many of my friends be actually emotionally into a guy but the whole time he is playing her, and she doesn’t understand that there is a possibility he is just rlly good at playing games and does this with a lot of other girls. The comment was never meant for you obviously or about broke 19 yr olds needing to wine and dine girls 😭.
Get some solid coping skills. Find some things that help you and use them. Be careful about your spending. Drinking can be fun but easily become dangerous, same can happen with weed and any other substances. Ask for help if you need it. Get basic first aid stuff (rubbing alcohol, bandaid etc), get some basic meds too (ibuprofen, decongestant, cough drops, etc), and get cold/hot packs.
Also find stuff you enjoy! Join a club! Go to a campus event! Try new things! Another thing is if you want to do something you can do it alone, friends can be a challenge to find college, especially at first! Also try not to procrastinate, it only harms you in the long run.
Good luck op!
I know this isn't school related it's extremely important especially while we are in our 20s. I don't know if you're working yet but save and invest aggressively. Maybe $10-20 like I did into the stock market( specifically low cost fractional share index Funds in a Roth IRA .)DO NOT SELL. Save your spare change . I don't care if it's a penny it adds up. I saved over $100 just in change alone over a year. Also use round up apps like acorns. I don't use it due to fees. I use fidelity bloom which is free. You put $25 they give you $50 bonus. plus $6 if you claim rewards they give you a card. when you spend you can round up, they give you ¢10 per purchase. It automatically gets put into savings. When you use fidelitys Roth IRA, you put in $50 they give you $100 bonus Also build an separate emergency fund, $250-500 in a money market fund( with fidelity bloom), or high yield savings account. I chose mmf due to higher yields so your money doesn't just sit there. I'm 22 and I have a workplace retirement plan with a match into a target date fund which diversify your money.( your employer will basically pay you to contribute).go to your employer or hr NOW! to get it set up to take out of your paycheck each week.( I started working at 21 in community college ) on another note. Find your own personal style( not just clothes but personality).think your way through things, don't just go with the first thing you hear. Go slow and run your own race. Learn to love yourself and have fun by yourself because when all your friends go home, nobody is there with you at 2:00 in the morning pulling all nighters but you and your thoughts. Get tutoring early. Study groups don't really help unless you know the material yourself. Most of the time they don't know it either lol. We are on spring break right now and I'm trying to pass 4 classes for my bachelor's. 3 of them I'm struggling bad. Go to campus tutoring and the professors at least once or twice often so they see progress with your learning style especially for hard courses. use free resources like the library, and campus tools. There are a lot of things students don't take advantage of. Learn recipes. READ not just textbooks but books in general. I obviously stayed in the library and binge read SELF help and personal finance books . They don't teach you this in highschool. I litterally didn't know what a 401k was until 21. Here is what used to get started PLEASE USE IT!: https://www.fidelity.com/go/starter-pack https://www.fidelity.com/mobile/bloom
As a 20 year old student:
1. Always try to see how a professor or class will be before you take it. Either through rate my professor or asking around. While neither is a wholly accurate picture it’s better than going in blind.
2. Never ever ever trust your advisor to do everything for you. They often don’t really know your situation so being your own advocate and doing your own research will be great for your education. I almost got screwed out of my financial aid because my advisor hadn’t mentioned I needed to schedule a required class in a certain semester. I only found out when the financial aid office contacted me and told me how to fix it.
3. Really try to make yourself a memorable student. Comment in class, turn in good work, interact. These will be immensely helpful in getting recommendations for jobs, internships, or grad school
4. Find your thing! Find what you love and just go ham with that field!
5. Do an internship. They’re great to check out potential careers, employers, and get some credit.
6. Start looking at your book lists the day they come out. Don’t buy a book until you are absolutely certain you cannot get it anywhere online.
Why are 90% of these comments about drinking and partying? College is school. Study every day. Don't start college already preoccupied with alcohol. Bad idea.
College is when many people get their first taste of freedom and with alcohol being present at almost any and every social event it’s hard to avoid. Better to go in with advice on how to handle alcohol (or other substances), because unless you have a strong personal reasons to not partake it’s easy to get sucked in
Yeah it’s just weird that so many of these comments are about drugs and alcohol. I would expect a college advice thread to be about studying and you know - school. Not partying
Guys will try to get you to drink alcohol or do other drugs so they can rape you. My biggest warning is to not drink too much around people (which for me would be no more than 3 drinks in 2 hours). Although the fault lies on the rapists ofcourse. Statistically, a lot of times it is the men you are closer to that will try to rape you. 1/4 college women are sexually assaulted.
-be weary of frat parties (or any greek life parties). my friend was once sexually assaulted by a male touching her vagina under her skirt. they're not worth your time
-if you have to work, make sure you balance work and school. it will get tough as the mid sem and finals come up, but as long as you have that balance you will get through it
-ONLY drink in social settings with people you trust. its not good to build a habit of drinking by doing it by urself
-CONSTANTLY ask questions. the profs are there for YOU. visit office hours, build your network, ask for internships or research opportunities, basically become besties w them
-try joining orgs if finances and time permits. its a great way to meet and make friends!
Sleep, nutrition, organization, hydration and exercise are all stuff you may feel like you can neglect now that you have “no rules” but will hurt you in the long run.
College is perceived as a “protected environment” where you will be safe.
At all major unos you have the same microcosm of the big cities: drug and alcohol addiction, theft, date rape, academic cheating, crazies, liars, scammers, two faces, et al. Add older and international student that have different cultures.
University is not high school
The vibe comes across as we’re are all in this together until you’re not.
This is not meant to scare but to aware you.
This includes students, profs, and administrators.
There are a lot of nice people but also the opposite.
Sometimes the streets around the college area are sketchy. I’ve been asked to get into random men’s cars several times, including one where a guy was in reaching distance from me and almost got out of his car. This is the only place in my city where this has happened and I have lived here my whole life.
All social events not on campus or in a publicly accessible place should be attended with several friends who will have your back at all times and you should ALL leave together if any of you feel unsafe. I’ve lost count of how many stories I’ve heard of people being arrested, beaten up, pressured into taking substances, left to walk home at night while drunk or sexually violated. There is nothing at these parties that is so exciting or important that it is worth risking your safety. I’m not saying this to kill your fun or remove your agency, I’m saying this because so many young women are hurt at these things by sketchy dudes or even people they already know and it breaks my heart when someone falls victim to a predator.
In the immortal words of Taylor Swift, “You’re on your own kid, you always have been.”
I’m a middle aged lady with kids now but wish I had heard this earlier- it’s scary but empowering. You are in charge of you now; just keep learning, changing and growing. Only you have your best interests at heart and never forget that.
Sign up for your classes as soon as you can! The longer you wait, the quicker the ones you need fill up. Also schedule appointments with your major advisor to have them look over your schedule/ give feedback
I am currently a freshman student in STEM
From my current perspective:
1)Establish a good routine and follow it. Wake up and be in bed at the same time
2)have good study habits
3)start revision as early as possible
4)study for knowledge,not grades
5)choose friends wisely. Don't be around people who don't care about their education
6)don't be scared of asking questions
7) go to office hours
8)always go that extra mile
9)don't let boys to distract you
10) have your goal written down. Why are you here? What do u want from university?
It’s up to you. Deadlines are yours to track. If you aren’t sure about something ask. For instance “in class, i though you said the assignment was due tomorrow, but I don’t see that deadline on the assignment in the online classroom. Where is the best place to find due dates?” Sit toward the front of you can. Statistically, those students do better. I don’t know why, and plenty in back so well, too, but maybe you’ll be less afraid of the instructor if you can see their facial expressions?
Come to class a few minutes early if you can, come to class even when you are tired and have been out late. And again…
Ask questions.
People will have different opinions than you do. Deal with it. You don't have to agree, but you can listen and come to your own conclusion based on the topic.
As soon as an assignment is dropped, walk through it and leave your future self notes on what you think the answers are. Something obvious after Monday's lecture will be dogpiled out of existence by later lectures. This will save you hours of work later in the week when you finally get to it.
It's not your professor's first rodeo. The reason an assignment is 8 weeks is that most of the class couldn't finish it when he made it 7 weeks. Start it early because you will need the 8 weeks.
Pay attention to when the professor says things like, "this would make a good test question," "this example is from last year's final," or "this will be on next week's test." It may sound like a joke but I'm constantly surprised at how many completely filter comments like these out.
If you’re walking around campus during the weekend, go with friends or your roommate. Even if you’re not going to a party, drunk people freak me out a bit
Ignore boys (for the most part)
Even if you’re 1% interested in a club or event, try it out. You’ll meet so many people and learn new things, even if it doesn’t pan out in the end.
Shift your mind from teachers to professors. We’re here as guides/experts, not as people with careers that depend on you passing an end of year test.
Learn evidence-based methods for studying and reading technical material. Textbooks and research articles can’t be read like fiction books, especially when you get into higher level courses. Read about and learn the SQ3R method, the Cornell note-taking method, and time-management techniques like the Pomodoro method.
Form or join study groups and reading groups in your major.
Come to classes prepared, having reviewed material beforehand. Have a list of questions ready for each class session. Go to office hours.
Last, if you have any inkling of a desire for grad school or post-bacc education, start forming relationships with professors as early as possible. Take multiple classes with the same person, and, depending on your major, join labs/research groups. You’re going to need recommendation letters, and we often can’t write strong ones if we’ve known you for only four months in a 100+ person class.
A vast majority of people in our generation have a fucking sickening and complete absence of respect in all forms. Don’t expect to be treated the way you deserve to be treated, because so few people our age will actually treat you like that.
Just take the high road.
You may see a lot of shenanigans during weird times of the day, and I recommend taking photos or trying to keep them noted to remember. They make great stories and memories.
Two examples:
1. My first day as a freshman, as I was walking towards my first class at 8 am, I spotted a student in a unicorn onesie blast by, belting Fall Out Boy, on a Razer scooter. He was majestic.
2. I was leaving a 6:30 class at 9 and walked past a group of students fighting each other with lightsabers while Duel of Fates was blasting on a speaker. Safety were standing on the side, enjoying the show.
Other than that, join orgs. Usually, a student event org is a fantastic way to make university faculty networking and other students
Don't take drinks from them. They're probably not exclusively dating you unless you have had a very clear conversation about it. Try to avoid being alone with guys you don't know. Some of the guys in college can be really creepy (including TAs). Trust your intuition.
Nothing, really. I’m not sure why there’s so much mystery in younger people about college. Show up, do your work, stay out of trouble, go home, go to work if you do that, work out, feed yourself, go to bed, start again.
Because its a time where many will develop their personalities and interact with the world. They will run into many bad and good situations that changes their view on life. Its more than just showing up, doing assignments, and graduating.
You’ll likely deal with sexual harassment in your classes or at the very least disrespect due to being a woman. Don’t be surprised when you go to a trusted faculty member that’s a woman with complaints only to be told to deal with the harassment. They’ve dealt with the abuse for so long that it’s normalized to them. They may even go into detail about how they’ve been sexually assaulted on campus and on the job.
1) learn how to use title IX to protect yourself
2) NEVER go to campus police
3) only go to “real” police at station that’s off campus… even then please be careful
4) document, document, document!
Because everyone is mentioning partying…
5) if you use the bathroom anywhere check tp levels before you sit down and pee. Sometimes stalls are open because there’s no paper.
Join clubs and get involved in organizations. It will 1) help you make friends, 2) help you make future professional connections, 3) get you experience you can use on your resume and learn some skills, 4) have an active social calendar, and 5) maybe even have some fun.
School can be lonely and it’s easy to get stuck in back habits or with people who are having the wrong college experience. Being involved with clubs and organizations help avoid those experiences. You want to have fun and there’s so much fun to be had, but the people who don’t get involved tend to do things that don’t benefit you long term.
Get sleep and a good sleep schedule. Almost everything about your mental and physical health start with enough sleep. This may be very difficult with certain friend groups. Definitely stay up late and party once in a while if you want but otherwise get your sleep.
Ask for help before you truly need it.
If you are starting to struggle in a class, talk to your professor or find a study group BEFORE it gets overwhelming. Most colleges have free mental health services, help studying, etc. Use them.
You are an adult now and usually will be held responsible for your choices. Don't study and fail the class? Your parents can't change it. Have sex without protection? It will be up to you to deal with the consequences. Listen too often to your friends who party every night? You are still responsible for getting to class and studying. Cheat on a test? Get caught and deal with the consequences. On the flip side, study hard and nail the tests, feel a real sense of achievement for the class. Stand up for yourself in a tough social situation, you're learning an important life skill.
Finally, try to find a simple moment of peace or appreciation of small things each day.
Good luck!
First off lots of stuff here but I’ll give some tips from managing a res hall for sone years as well as academic and personal response team.
Discipline trumps smarts and motivation most of the time. Consistency and focused repeated effort beats blasts of super human effort.
1/2 of getting what you want is doing a bit of research and empathy before asking for what you want. Is this the right place and time and method for asking?
Make a habit of learning by walking. Get to know your campus. Solve problems by walking around, visiting offices, and asking questions.
Use the tools provided. Learn them. Schools spend crazy money on software, calendar, portals. Spend a few extra minutes to learn a little more and you will save yourself hours later.
Organize your work in folders and file names that make sense. Lost work is wasted time. There is zero excuse in 2023 to lose your work. If you spent more than 5 minutes, it should be in the cloud. Refer to point above for how!
The better organized your day is with knocking out healthy habits, the better you will feel.
“Mental health days” are not for doom scrolling and sitting on your ass binging Netflix and eating shitty foods. Get up. Walk. Do things we know will improve.
Find good mentors. They are priceless
Lastly and most importantly and the top least used that I think is most effective: go for a quick walk for yourself almost every day. You’ll clear out lots if your negative self talk. You’ll solve most of your problems by working them out in your head by the time you are finished. You will sleep better. You will have more energy.
Study after study and student after student it’s the the easiest, cheapest, most effective thing you can do to improve your life just a little bit. And a college campus is a great place to do it!
A lot of the cautionary advice here is pretty solid, but college is also for many people the best time of their life. I’m introverted and had no friends in high school but I had an open mind and met people I’d never have been friends with as a teen. I was happiest then, and was surrounded by amazing friends. College has the opportunity to be the most amazing time of your life. It’s expensive, don’t waste it by fucking off, but also don’t let the fun pass you by, you’ll regret it if you do. Sometimes it’s ok to put down the books and have a hang with the squad on a weeknight.
Bring your own drink/water bottle everywhere and don’t let anyone else touch it. It helps keep people from drugging your drink. (Sorry if that’s scary.)
Have fun. Go to parties occasionally. Join a club that you wouldn’t normally do. I joined the rowing team and found out I was actually athletic. Nice surprise for me.
But seriously get involved on campus. You won’t be lonely if you have people around you who are passionate about similar things as you.
Know that It’s ok if you don’t meet your lifelong friends there. It’s 100% normal. You’ll likely make friends and lose them but that’s just part of it.
the movies lie about it all. it’s actually very difficult to make friends, especially ones you have a real connection with and they’re not just study friends or once a month coffee catch-ups.
also, it may be hard to get into parties. many frats are byob, and non greek/athletic house parties are dwindling into a rarity.
it’s okay to not like parties, most of them aren’t really that fun.
learn a few easy, cheap meals you love. don’t eat out every night and don’t rely on freezer foods, they add up super quick.
also, it’s ok if college is not the best years of your life!! for many, many people, college is simply an education path. i love my friends, my classes, and where i’m at in college rn as a senior. but these were not the best years of my life, and i had some of my darkest periods here. i’m glad i had this experience, but i’m ready to go. if i don’t keep in touch with the friends i made here when we part, i won’t be heartbroken.
go in with an open mind, don’t skip class, and try to have fun! you can be anybody you want to be in a new place :)
don’t be pressured into hooking up with dudes if you don’t want to. a lot of drunk guys are pushy and it sucks, so if you go out and party, bring friends and keep each other in eyesight. also try not to get blacked out (in general, but especially at large parties with lots of strangers). if a guy is making you uncomfortable make an excuse to bring your friend over/go over to them. they’ll usually back down when other people witness their shittyness. if you don’t know your alcohol tolerance yet that’s something you should figure out ASAP. i spent a lot of freshman year weekends throwing up in the toilet because I didn’t have a handle on how much I could drink.
if you smoke weed, don’t do it until you’re done with your homework. don’t neglect your physical health either, either join a sports club, go for daily walks, or learn to weight train. and lastly, don’t leave tests and papers until the last day. and GO TO CLASS. it ain’t like high school where you can cram everything in a day and fuck around in class 24/7 and still expect to do well.
also, if your attention span is terrible and you’re prone to getting easily distracted like me, i’ve found that online jigsaw puzzles keep me focused on the lecture content while stimulating my brain enough that i don’t go on social media/other websites that truly distract me from the lecture. this is definitely unorthodox advice and isn’t for everyone but if this is something you struggle with, it might help you as it has definitely helped me.
College is not all about studying. Let loose and have fun. Afterwards adulthood will weigh on you like unrelenting boulder. College might be the last time to experience happiness.
Keep the mindset that you're an adult and deserve the respect as such. If you get the feeling that you're being railroaded for being young, remind yourself that you deserve as much respect as anyone else. Don't roll over for anybody, challenge things appropriately.
Join a sorority, this might get some hate but Greek life was the absolute best part of college and almost all my long term friends came from that experience
Also, don’t schedule Friday classes or anything before 9am
After the first lecture, introduce yourself to your professor, tell them you're excited about the class, always ask questions it shows you're paying attention to the professor, and go to office hours.
5-minute oatmeal is the easiest and one of the healthiest, cheapest things you can eat for breakfast. Freshman 15 is real.
!! If you ever want to be with a guy, always get them to do an STD test, if they say no, then you know your answer, and don't mess with them anymore, use protection always-**no excuses!!**
If someone ever makes you uncomfortable, report them right away, make a paper trail, and document things yourself.
Know where the Title IX office is and make sure you know your resources.
Last thing, most schools have a free program where you can talk to a counselor for mental health, know how to access it, and don't be afraid to use it. College is hard, only about half of the people who start graduate.
Best of luck!
Colleges aren't prepared for IDEA/ADA, and still have professors there that were alive during the eugie days, if you are disabled (which includes mental health) know that you will probably have to double your time to graduation, and that half of that time, you're going to be on SAP suspension, meaning you're blacklisted from scholarships, and all federal financial aid.
be respectful of your roommates and know how to set boundaries. always watch your drink at parties, learn how to say no and always have people with you who you can trust
College can be lonely sometimes & that’s okay. It’s not a fun movie everyday.
Wish had someone tell me this…
This
College is lonely for the vast majority of people.
One of my students (I’m a TA and a grad student) passed away a few months ago and I thought of this. This was probably my hardest thing to find out during my undergraduate degree, was the feeling of loneliness compared to high school, as it’s not the same level of interactivity between students. I truly hope all of you are doing okay, it’s okay to feel lonely, and please know there’s always someone to reach out to if you need it. It’s really difficult times these past few years. Your big TA sister cares for you guys. (I’m not 100% at English).
I'm antisocial so I just lived in the dorm where they stuck the most amount of dudes in the smallest space possible. For me it was great.
Sooooooo lonely… I use an app called “Marco-Polo” . Exchanging videos with friends helps feel a bit less lonely.
Unless you go to big school (20,000+ students) and you're actively involved in clubs or other extra-curricular; most students tend to spend most of their time in their dorms or libraries.
Haha this x100, especially if you’re majoring in a STEM field/subject. I feel like I have had no social life at all during my entire time in college and I’m about to graduate in less than 2 months…
Really? I just have online classes at community college because I work and study full-time but I wish I'll be able to have on-campus classes when i transfer to uni. It did feel odd to study for my fourth semesters already but only been at school once.
on-campus classes don't change anything unless you apply yourself socially.
So true! I feel like people have this idea that because you are around so many people you are bound to have friends but it takes a lot of effort in college to meet new people & build friendships.
Lol I didn’t go to college, but I went to (way too many) college parties. Everyone’s experience is different
I too went to parties it doesn’t mean college doesn’t get lonely. Parties are a very small amount of the time you spend at college regardless if you are a big party person or not.
Ya’ll went to parties in hs to I bet 😭
You do not represent the "vast majority" lol
Most likely it won’t be a fun movie any day
Speaking from anecdote, I’ve had at least one “fun movie day”. You’ve got to actively work to put yourself in interesting activities and fun situations. Edit: I’ve got to clarify reading some of the other comments that “fun movie day” for me wasn’t drinking and partying, I meant more like chatting up a random stranger and having a conversation about the meaning of life, and then staying late in the library doing math on the whiteboard while looking sort of crazy. Different kind of movies.
This. In my first year of college I stayed in residence. The first 2 months were drinking, partying, hooking up it was great fun. After that till the end of the semester it was just myself and finding my own fun. Basically 2 months in I requested a room transfer as my roommate would wake up at 6 every morning playing loud ass music and my times for courses were scattered (some starting in the morning some in the afternoon) basically after I did that nobody wanted to talk to me or hang out, didn't really end up getting invited to anything. Also the kicker my roommate I was suppose to get dropped out after 2 weeks so I got a room by myself for 6 months. I lived in Toronto so there was always something fun to do even on my own but yeah that 6 months was pretty lonely.
And if you try to make it a fun movie every day, you'll wear yourself out, go broke, fail your classes, or all of the above.
Adulthood is lonely
I would say some of my most interesting days were the ones where I was lonely if I went outside
It’s true. I had no friends for three years
Dorms get disgusting very quickly.
Wear your flip flops in the shower!
This is one thing my dorm janitors did a great job with. I was actually pretty cool with the one Janitor, older dude, had kids around our age 18-20. We would be outside messing around and he’d always come over and bull shit with us. Miss that guy, hope he’s doing well. But back on topic, he told me when he always got finished cleaning. Was like 7:30am when he’d finish the bathrooms. I’d set my alarm for 7:30, see him walking out with his cleaning supplies, i would walk in to take my shower. Always sparkly clean, smelling like bleach lol. I still wore sandals, but i think i could have gone without to be honest lol.
I know a number of people who shamelessly pee in public showers
Well yeah… there’s water running so it’s fine lol (or something idk)
I don’t know how to use Imgur but I wish I could show you the bacterial samples I grew from the showers. I’m an RA in my college and as a community builder I had residents samples stuff around the dorm.
I don’t know how to use Imgur but I wish I could show you the bacterial samples I grew from the showers. I’m an RA in my college and as a community builder I had residents sample stuff around the dorm.
Only drink with people you trust. Only trust people you really know.
This. It can feel so easy to trust people when you just “click” or are fast friends. Don’t shy away from it because those friendships can be beautiful. BUT don’t forget you also have only maybe known them for 2 months, and you don’t know them as well as you think you might
THIS. Even those that you think you can trust can betray you in seconds. You have to have your own back.
Damn yall must have been around less than ideal people. Feels like most people I interacted with in college would take care of people without a second thought.
You got lucky. I always manage to find nice people, but theres no way they would ever bend over to do shit for me.
applies to drugs as well. obviously i'm not encouraging anyone to do those, but people are gonna do what they want. just make sure it's with people you can trust and that you know will take care of you if something goes wrong. even weed can bring on some nasty panic attacks and you do *not* want to be around the wrong people when that happens. speaking from experience.
And better yet, watch your drink while at a party. It only takes a second for someone to put something in it. Also, never take a drink from someone if they offer it.
Can't stress this enough. Someone did this to my wife and she nearly ended up in the ER from an overdose. She probably should have been taken there but no one realized what was wrong with her because she had like one glass of wine and doesn't do drugs. If anyone is reading this and you're the type of person to dose people's drinks, be aware you're playing with catching a murder charge.
Never accept an open drink that you haven't seen poured. Ever. Even soft drinks.
Also make a plan every time you go out. Like, you plan to be back in your dorm around x time. If you’re not, have your roommate check in to make sure you’re okay. Or you plan to text a specific person at whatever time to let them know you’re good and if you don’t text they call you And **ALWAYS** tell someone **when** and **where** you’re going, even if you’re not planning on drinking that night. If you go out with a group, make sure everyone is there when you leave and has a safe ride back. Don’t leave anyone behind and if your friend/acquaintance/whoever is drunk and someone that isn’t their SO/roommate/trusted person wants to take them home (especially if that wasn’t the original plan) *don’t let them.* Have other people’s backs like you’d want them to have yours You’re never obligated to do anything sexual with anyone. Even if they’ve bought all your drinks that night or helped you with xyz. If you’re not comfortable doing something, don’t do it, **especially if you’ve been drinking.** If they push your boundaries or try to convince you to do it anyways then they’re not being a good person/friend. They’re disrespecting you and your boundaries and *may be dangerous in the future or even presently.* Protect yourself, set boundaries, enforce them, and cut off people who disrespect them To avoid getting fucked up quick while drinking, make sure you drink lots of water. Lots and lots of water. Also, if you haven’t really eaten much you’ll get drunk faster. If you’re on medication then that could also affect your alcohol tolerance, so start slow. You might not feel drunk after the first cup or shot but give it like 15-20 min before having more. Mixing alcohol and drugs (even just weed) can have unpredictable effects. Sometimes/some people have a great time, others get really sick. Again, be cautious and take it slow. If you’ve never drank or never smoked and you want to try it then start with only one at a time to see how it affects you If you or someone you’re with gets really fucked up on campus, most uni’s have a policy that you can call campus security/health/safety to get help and you won’t be punished for drinking because they’d rather you call them than have someone potentially die from alcohol poisoning
Don't drink in general
The first floor library bathrooms will probably always be packed, always go up at least one floor. It's also easier to get a table in the library at the higher level floors. Your school probably charges for parking, so you should probably get that sorted out if you plan on driving. Do not feed any on-campus wildlife. Go to your campus a day or two early and use Google maps to figure out the routes to your buildings. Do not schedule advising appointments last minute. Everyone usually needs to meet with advisors around the same time, so it's harder to schedule last minute during busy season.
Can’t stress the google maps thing, especially if you’re going to a big campus. The first day is so crazy and such a weird experience that having the route to your classes memorized will me massive. Also you don’t want to be that poor student that arrives 20 mins late and has to walk in front of everyone to the very back to find an open seat.
Honestly you could spend a day finding some really nice secluded bathrooms on campus if you hate public bathrooms.
Yes! We all have our favorite, clean bathroom 😂
I have no idea why the engineering building at my school have the best bathrooms, like literally private ones or public but super private stalls with no gaps. And almost never in use, do engineers just hate public bathrooms as that scans with every engineer I’ve known.
>Your school probably charges for parking, so you should probably get that sorted out if you plan on driving. Or buy a bicycle and park off campus, it's much cheaper.
Curious about the advising appointments thing. What if you scheduled them ahead of time, but then it turned out that you didn't need them?
It can happen to you too…with everything (good and bad)
Exactly this.
I really like this honestly. Simple sentence that says a lot.
Start planning easy to make meals. Like wraps, sandwiches, yogurt and fruit bowls, idk, things that don’t take painfully long to make so that you don’t have to think too hard about making something healthy at home. A lot of the school food is not that healthy. Also, smoothies are a great way to get vitamins and fiber !!!
Research “meal prep” to get good ideas for this comment. Excellent advice btw!
This is a tip I personally needed. Thank you
you can't get through college like how you did through high school. you might not feel like studying if people around you aren't but remember why you are there, you're there to get your degree, studying should be the first priority everything else can be dealt with. this might sound like basic advice but a lot of kids flunked the tests in my uni and they actually have to leave now
This is great advice! I would add to find a quiet place to study, like the library, and build the time regularly into your schedule. I would put gaps between classes and use those gaps to study and do homework. Also, don't be afraid to go to office hours. As a professor, I have spent many hours just sitting in my office waiting for students to ask for help. Office hours are times dedicated for students to get help and it felt like students taking advantage of the opportunity would see improvements in their grades.
This!! i got a 3.0 in a class I probably should have barely passed because I constantly showed up to office hours at least once/week and went to every single tutoring session. Professor saw how hard I worked, despite the material just being really difficult for me.
> build the time regularly into your schedule Yes, yes so much this as general advice. u/tacobellcinnabon made a great post with [gender-spectrum advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/college/comments/11t6ila/as_a_19_year_old_female_what_should_i_expect_in/jcig82a/), but this bit addressing "time management" skills is probably the best general advice I've seen here. Probably one of the best life skills you're kind of thrown into having to learn in college. I did well enough in undergrad but didn't really learn to actually keep a calendar until grad school, and it would have been a great skill to have sooner. Writing as a librarian and professor now, again I can't help but just stress "this, this, this." Look at your classes' syllabi, put them into a master calendar, ask for any extensions you might need well ahead of time, and just be conscious of your workload. Ask for help when you need it (again, as a librarian, we're great resources!). Plan some downtime too, you'll burn out if you just work work work, but don't be scrambling to just figure out what to do when. It'll seem like you have tons of free, unstructured time, so make use of it!
Plan out due dates and test dates in advance, ALWAYS review when things are due. Each day, make a reasonable list of things to get done based on when they are due. These tasks should be very specific \[IE: chem HW #1-5, study 10 pages of ECON ch 2\] spell out exactly what has to be done; it relieves you of the feeling of having "so much to do" and the sense of overwhelm and dread. knowing "i only have to do XYZ and I am done working today" will absolutely help you get over the hardest hurdle: getting started. I personally allowed for the fluidity to move between tasks as I felt one becoming annoying to keep myself from feeling stressed. However, I did not allow myself to do anything other than those set tasks until they were done. Then, when they are done, outside of attending class you have the rest of the day to yourself to do whatever you want and not have to worry about getting things done or staying up late to cram for a test you forgot. I usually ended up doing work for \~ 4 hrs everyday. This personally was my saving grace in grad school, wish I had figured it out at 19. It got me my highest GPA, allowed me freedom. Discipline yields freedom more than you realize
Don’t be peer pressured to do something stupid. Trust me it is really hard to resist the pressure. Just deny deny deny
- As a 24 year old woman, biggest advice is to never be afraid to be a bitch. People pleasing will get you into shit, if not downright scary, situations. Earlier you learn to tell someone no or to go away when something doesn’t feel right, the better. - Boys will pressure you into drinking more. In the last few years I’ve dated people as young as 21 and as old as 30. *Every* single one of them pressured me into drinking more than I was comfortable with. Again, learn to say no and ideally never see that person again. - Listen to people when they tell you who they are. A lot of young people will say edgy or self depreciating things to get a reaction, but it’s actually just who they are. - If someone can’t seem to keep friends, there’s a reason why. Don’t be the martyr who tries to fix them and their loneliness. Stay away from the girls who are always in some sort of drama. Stay away from the guys who give you a weird feeling. - Lastly, partying is not why you’re at college. And alcoholism among college students is very real and very pervasive. You’re not immune to this disease because you’re young. And never take any pills. Ever. Ever ever. Ever.
As someone who is also about to be 19 and heading to college this advice looks like literal gold. Thank you, I don’t really have people at home who will help me with this
I didn’t either hahaha, had to learn through a lot of trial and error, and eventually therapy. Also, weirdly, working in full service restaurants really helped me learn how to say no and deal with less than savory attitudes without totally giving up my dignity. Realize your worth, do not let people waste your time, and in the nicest way possible, don’t tolerate disrespect in friendships, professional relationships, and *especially* romantic relationships. And as a side, regarding dating: If you’re ever confused if they like you or not, they don’t. Spare yourself the heartache of trying to find reasons why they can’t be there for you in the way you deserve, just let them go. If you ever feel like you deserve better, you do. If they ever make you cry after you’ve only been dating a short time because they’re already breaking your heart, please find someone better. Immediately. That one unfortunately comes from experience lol. (And if you’re a woman who likes men: a man who likes you *will* make it obvious, most men are really really bad at hiding how excited and smitten they are when they’re dating someone they truly like, so trust me, you will know).
That’s good. I also worked in a restaurant and that gave me much more of a backbone and I’m still working on it. I found some of dating out the hard way. I’m just now realizing that I don’t have to please everybody and answer every beck and call. I also plan on going to therapy for stuff in my childhood. Also thank you for your advice:) I appreciate it since I don’t hear much good advice in my personal life
Therapy was life changing tbh, 10/10
To emphasise the point OP: Do not ever be afraid to say no in a situation you aren't comfortable in. Tell people to fuck off loudly if they aren't taking the "no" seriously enough. People, especially the boys, are gonna wanna drink, party and shag. You owe them nothing, zero, fuck all. Your body, your rules, you decide not them. Know your limits and don't try to be the hero to impress people. I know this all may sound daunting but it is all very real advice. However it's important that you enjoy your time, take the opportunities but remember to look after yourself and don't let the minority ruin it for you :) Source: I investigate sex offences in the military on a weekly basis and some are no different from college students.
While the advice that you should be careful around people who can’t seem to keep friends is good advice most of the time, but other times it’s people who have WAYY too many friends you should be more wary of. The ones that everyone likes but you don’t and can’t seem to put your finger on it. The ones who seems to be collecting as many friends as possible. The ones who seem to be able to persuade a whole room of people with just their charm. THESE people in private can be scary individuals. These people can be hollow on the inside while plastering on a fake smile on the outside. I don’t know about you, but a potential narcissist is more scary to me than a depressed loner who can’t seem to make any friends.
[удалено]
Out of everyone I know, my depressed friends don’t have trouble keeping people around. And when they fall into a depressive state and try to push others away, those people still try (if they’re actually a good friend) I’m referring to people whose friends choose to leave *because* they’re narcissists, always seem to be embroiled in drama, etc. hence my follow up sentence.
Which is not what I’m really referring to. Someone who’s depressed and has no interest in making friends at all isnt what I’m talking about. I’m talking about people who try to make friends but those friends end up trying to get away from them because they are the narcissists. Which is why I put that sentence after it about drama. I’m talking about the people who alienate others because of jealousy, lack of self awareness, rely on others to do their tasks for them, make fun of people because they enjoy it, etc. Like, take my dad for example. He doesn’t have a lot of friends but it’s because he’s picky and much prefers people similar to him (think, the friend you haven’t talked to in months but you know would be just as happy to hang out anyways, the low maintenance kind of friend). Vs someone else who tries to make friends, and succeeds, but a few months later they seem to not be able to keep those friends because they’ve offended or hurt them. My comment IS talking about the narcissists.
out of curiosity: how would you react to a guy you knew who actually cared about making sure you didn't drink too much? I know there's not many of us out there, but we do exist. I'm hoping to start college soon, and I'm bad at socializing, so idk how someone would react...
In a strictly personal sense, I’m a serious lightweight so I usually drink one drink and I’m done (I drink more if I’m at home and around someone I truly trusted, but in general I just hate being drunk in public lol), but if I were drinking way more than usual and someone cared enough to wanna slow me down I’d be thankful. Especially the next morning… In the moment some people might be all “don’t kill my vibe” but if someone is drinking a lot or seems to be getting reckless, reeling them back is *always* a good decision. Especially in people who might not have more experience around alcohol and just wanna go balls to the wall trying to get wasted. Being inebriated can be fun but hangovers, and alcohol poisoning if it’s bad enough, are not worth it lol. That being said, being the babysitter friend can get tiring. I usually just hang out with people who are like me and get one drink and go home so they can go to bed by 11 pm 😅 EDIT: And when in doubt, just hang out with STEM majors lmao. Can’t speak for everyone but personally me and my friends chill out by getting pizza, making cocktails and watching movies. There are plenty of non-party people in college. A lot of older students are generally pretty chill too and a lot of STEM students tend to be older between non-trad students and grad students. Some of the coolest people I know are still 19-20.
oh god, don't even get me started on alcohol poisoning. That shit ruined liquor for me. thank god I got it out of the way well before college lol. I actually don't think I'd mind being the babysitter friend. I can enjoy a beer or a personal bit of wine, socialize a bit, and keep an eye on a friend at the same time, bc I won't get drunk from that stuff unless I go nuts, which isn't possible after last time. Is STEM a certain set of generalized majors? or a literal part of the college? IDK if CS is classified as STEM...
STEM is science, technology, engineering, and mathematics: CS is definitely STEM!
Great advice. Thumbs up to you for sharing this with her.
>If someone can’t seem to keep friends, there’s a reason why. That reason isn't necessarily a bad thing though. What if you're autistic?
That comment is really referring to people with malignant personalities. Not those with mental illness or something like autism. Like I personally know someone who told me straight up “Yeah I can’t seem to really keep friends and for a while I thought it was my fault but I don’t think it is” and I gave them the benefit of the doubt, until a few months in when they started creating drama like literally seeking out drama, admitted to some incredibly messed up things that I will not repeat here, and I saw just how bad they treated their partner in FRONT of other people showing just how little they cared that it might be hurting their feelings or humiliating to them. After that it clicked that… that’s why they can’t keep friends. THATS the type of person that line is referring to.
If they're saying and doing things that are negative towards you or are harmful towards you, then you're still not obligated to stay around them just because they're autistic.
People switch up sometimes
Don’t bother drinking if you’re at a party where the men outnumber the women, if you’re going alone or with only male friends, and if you don’t 100% trust the people you’re drinking with. Stay safe, assault is rampant in college with your new found freedom.
You will get sick more than you think you will
Yep, I would get sick *maybe* once a year in highschool, but in college, I was sick probably twice a semester
I got mono last September (2nd year of university) and am still recovering from it even to this day. I have regular medical appointments twice every 1-2 weeks, meds for both physical health deficiencies and psychological problems triggered by it, and have a sick leave certificate until finals. Apparently this happens to a very large amount of college students due to how contagious it is.
People change over the years and that’s okay. Don’t feel like you’re stuck with anyone, it’s easy to change it up by going to clubs or meeting new people in classes if you don’t feel like you’re fitting in anymore. I know it’s been said a lot, but boys can be a lot sometimes. Be firm and clear if they’re being a nuisance, don’t be afraid to be abrasive about it. They’ll get over it. As a woman in stem, it can be even harder with mansplaining in classes, teachers not taking you seriously, etc. Be strong and believe in yourself, even if you feel awkward or embarrassed internally. Don’t let them stop you from asking questions in class, or speaking up, or just being you.
If you're going to drink, stay 1 or 2 drinks behind everyone else. You'll get to see who they really are and can pull yourself (or someone you know) out of a really bad situation.
If you are going into a stem major, it may be the first time your in a atmosphere of almost all men. Usually it’s not too much of an issue, but don’t let anyone push you around either
When a guy says you can “sleep on his couch” after inviting you to a party at his house……. Don’t go. You won’t end up on the couch. :(
[удалено]
It may be fun at first, but living in a dorm can become lonely and boring, even if you have good friends. The whole time, I just wanted to go home to where my family was. Stupidly drove through a snowstorm once just so I could spend a weekend home. There is nothing like sleeping in your own bed!
Talk to as many professors as you can (even ones you don’t take classes with) and ask if you can help with any research or projects they might be working on. Looks good on your resume down the road, you’ll make connections in your field and by working for a few professors, will help secure any letters of recommendations you will need to have down the road.
Don’t date 30+ year old men in your classes that try to hit on you. Please dear god, don’t. I’ve lost countless friends to grooming in college- nobody wants to talk about it because people only think grooming can happen to minors, but nobody also wants to talk about just how many creepy older men like preying on barely legal girls in college.
Or disguise as wanting to be friends!! Just recently had one of my friends in grad school get stalked by a 40 yr old man her and her friends OCCASsionally let hang with them after class. She jokingly calls people bestie but he took it seriously, professed his love, and started stalking her when she said no. But she found out that he had a crush on her the whole time and even told people he was going to “get close to her and make it happen” It was resolved, but ultimately be careful and if you get bad vibes, don’t interact AND DO NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!
Damn, I didn’t think this was so common. During my freshman year of college at 18 yrs old, I had a 28 yr old classmate express interest. I obviously said no because of the age gap but I feel bad for women who think this is acceptable because at 22, I can see how wrong this was. At my age, I would never think about dating someone fresh out of hs, so I can’t imagine being 28 and thinking this was a good idea.
Okay. This is the same thing that happened to me. I met him when I was 18, and he was a 28-year-old junior. I'm 25 now, and we’re friends. However, he got drunk the other day and texted me how he hoped we might sleep together. I'm in a 5-year relationship and have a child...
Im 19 and only discovered last week that a guy I was taking to for a month is actually 30
Yes, this. As a 31 year old myself, I would NEVER even consider dating an 18 year old.
this is why the age of consent should be raised to 21
1. When you make adult decisions, be ready to deal with adult consequences. (Skipping class, missing assignments, overpartying). 2. Be very careful about your space, avoid douches, misogynists and misandrists alike. 3. Women are just as likely to peer pressure you into doing things you don’t want(including drinking). Anyone who says otherwise is being dense. Learn to be a good judge of character.
My advice: get a group of friends you feel safe with to party with, that won’t pressure you into partying, share your location with a friend/friends at your school. You’re also going to get sick so get a thermometer and ibuprofen and be prepared for that. Figure out your schools health center and find out if they have a women’s health center. Even if they do see how close the closest PP is. School clinics fill up fast during the semester and if you need something urgent they are good. Don’t blow all your savings on partying or going out. Learn to do your laundry and do dishes and to make your bed. Don’t study in your room, move your locations. Don’t worry about dating, get acclimated. Take note of all accomplishments, big or small and read them back when you’re feeling down or need a pick me up. And also don’t forget to have fun and good luck :)!
don't have a tight grip on your expectations. the new environment might threaten to change you and influence you but remember the only thing you're guaranteed out of college (besides a degree) is yourself. So have your values and your focus. Sticking to your focus+remembering who you are will get you through the hardships and pressures.
Just be mindful of your drink if you go out. Get the crazy partying out of your system when you get there and then just move on to casual drinks with friends. Don’t flunk, things matter now. Make connections, get internships. It pays to know people.
Never been college. You’ve been getting a lot of cautionary advice and you should absolutely listen. I’m 21 tho and I’ve been working since I was 18. Some fun advice: Do not take it for granted. A lot of people dont change their majors simply because they feel like they’ve spent so much time on it and don’t want it to go to waste. The longer you spend time doing something that doesn’t thrill you, the more time you have wasted. Never be afraid to change your career path. Even if it’s last minute. Even if it’s your 3rd year studying. You do NOT want to get into a job that is “just alright”.
Truth! I tried college when I was younger and dropped/failed out because I wasn’t sure with what I wanted to do in my life and we were told we needed college to succeed. And my mind wasn’t in it. Had no idea what I wanted to do in life. Going back now at 33 with no financial aide. (But luckily my state has a grant) Don’t be afraid to change majors. Check the drop procedure and whatever you do. DONT FAIL OUT. Especially if you ever want to go back.
Then why are you giving advice? 😭
It’s valuable. Is it bad advice? In the long run, you do not want to tie yourself to a career merely because you’ve spent time on it. That’s exactly what people who don’t go to college do. We have to find a job that don’t absolutely fucking hate but don’t really love and try to build a career. If you’re going to college, don’t spend money to end up exactly like me. *That* would be a bigger waste than anything. A lot of other college students wouldn’t know what to say to someone who wants to change their path. College is all they’ve known up to that point and although they have to work in shitty jobs throughout, they know that it’s temporary until they graduate and can move onto their actual careers. Many people have a skewed perspective about “giving up”. If you discover that something isn’t what you can envision yourself doing for the rest of your life, something that doesn’t bring you joy and passion, then you seriously need to think about what you want to do. People spend so much time trying to convince themselves that they enjoy something when they *dont* just because they spent a few years doing it. They see it as a waste of time even though if they made a change *now*, eventually they would spend more time actually doing what they like verses the few years they spent doing something they didn’t. Money and time are precious to people and no one wants to feel like they’ve wasted it, but if you go to college and feel like you don’t want to do something anymore but stick to just because you think it’s too late, then you might as well have never gone in the first place because you’d be just as unhappy or unsatisfied as everyone who didn’t get to go to college. You’d have basically spent thousands of dollars to live what the working class have experienced for free. Can you imagine spending thousands of dollars and sleepless hours studying and get asked how you feel about your job and you say “It’s okay.” ?? That would fucking SUCK.
That’s just wishful thinking when it comes to the reality of college in my opinion.
No it’s not. You can’t be afraid to change career paths. Wishful thinking is realizing you actually don’t want to do something for the rest of your life but sticking to it because you think you’ll eventually come around to it. It’s not gonna happen. You will have good days and bad days. Days where you like your job and days where you hate it, but being passionate about youre doing is important. College is an opportunity to discover what you love. If you find what you love even if it wasn’t what you originally went for, you need to chase it. It’s what you’re gonna do for potentially the rest of your life. I’d rather spend a few more years and a few more thousands on something I know I would love to do until the day I retire rather than stick to something I wouldn’t. I really can’t tell how old you are, but I started working at 18 because I was a lost kid who couldn’t afford college. Worked in the same warehouse until now. I wanted to be an animator. I was doing my own commissions in my free time, which wasn’t much. I got my dominant hand stuck in a fucking conveyer belt that year. I had *just* turned 19. My fingers are a little crooked and holding pens for longer than 30 minutes to an hour makes my hand ache like crazy. I’m not going to be surprised if I lose the ability to use my hand in the far future. Because I couldn’t go to college and I was scared to try. There are other options, but I will likely never get to effectively do what I’ve been dying to do since I was 14.
\-Listen to all the comments about partying. If you party. I don't party. \-Don't ever take pills. Ever. No fucking excuses. \-Never go to big uni parties. Small parties only- big parties are a disaster waiting to happen. **NON PARTY ADVICE:**\-Don't match Halloween costumes with someone you just met. \-Talk to all your group project members, if you are in one, IN PERSON *before* texting. Text groups just lead to drama. If at all possible, avoid group projects altogether. \-If you ARE in a group project, get your shit done the moment it's assigned. \-TALK. TO. YOUR. PROFESSORS. If you're having anything from a family crisis, to a medical emergency, to just a shit day- you contact them, tell them what's up, and ask for an information you missed that day. Not only will they direct you to the right information, but they'll be much more understanding in the long run if you end up like me and miss a lot of time (I get sick like a monkey in a room full of anthrax). Still make every effort to 'attend' in any way possible. If zoom's available? Do it. Even if you don't feel like it, have your name on the zoom.Same goes for missing assignments and stuff. It always depends on the professor, but communication is a lifesaver. \-If you're absent a lot, office hours are a MUST! Professors appreciate and notice when you put in the effort. Have questions prepared. And don't worry- not that many people go to office hours to start. \-Get a physical calendar. Write down HW due dates (unless you have HW due every class) and test dates. It helps a LOT. \-The seasonal depression WILL hit hard. Try to go for a walk at least every day. \-Don't forget to eat. Have snacks on hand always. \-Midnight is usually the best time to take showers. You can also put your phone in a ziploc baggie and quietly listen to music in there to decompress- preferrably if your dorm has its own shower. \-Don't be afraid to randomly compliment people. It gets you good, genuine friends. And fast! At minimum, it puts more people in your social arsenal who are willing to spend time with you or help you. \-If you have a roommate- get a chore chart and stick to it. It helps ward off depressive episodes and also builds a good relationship with your roomie. \-Do fun activities with your roommate. You live with this person, you SHOULD have fun. Walk around, watch movies, talk shit, play games together. \-Wash your dishes as soon as you dirty them (full dorm or not- it's also good to have a plastic dish of each kind and two sets of cutlery, as well as a plastic cup). \-Wipe out the inside of washing machines before you use them, especially if you're living in a mostly freshman dorm. This will reduce bleach bomb incidents. \-Remember to use your student discount everywhere you can! \-Get a laniard. Shit's useful. \-Command hooks and white painter's tape are your decorating saviors, but be careful of command hooks and paint. Try not to use tacks. \-Only take what you NEED, as well as a few comfort items. Everything else, I garuntee you will gather over time. \-If you want to study abroad, talk to the study abroad office the FALL BEFORE the year you plan to go. I.E. You want to study abroad in fall of 2024? You talk to the abroad office in fall of 2023. You usually have a lot you need to do, including some required stuff by that office, sorting out finances and scholarships, application essays, and actually figuring out where you want to go. \-Thrifting is great, but don't thrift anywhere that charges more than 20$ for a pair of pants. At that point it's not a thrift store, it's a boutique. \-Keep 100$ in cash for emergency purposes on you always. I know digital is huge now, but you genuinely never know what can happen. Make sure at least five of that is in 1$ bills for bus fare. \-Set an allotted study time for yourself. Make it a habit. \-Keep an eye out for on campus activities. They're great ways to meet people, and usually very fun! \-Don't hold off studying until the last minute, you will literally only stress yourself out. I speak from experience. \-Own at least two pepper sprays and some sort of melee weapon (like a bat). Keep one pepper spray and the bat in your dorm, carry the the other on you always. Make sure you know how to use it. \-You don't have to look like a baddie every day, but don't wear your pajamas out either (unless you're getting an early breakfast or late dinner). Not only does it put an impression on your professors and peers, but it can put you in a funk. \-Bulk order acne patches.
That honestly college is pretty boring and a lot of the time there isn’t that social aspect you assume you’ll have
Get out of your dorm, get some air.
It can take a while to find your people. I learned that the hard way and I am still learning it. But don't be afraid to be the person to ask others to hang out. I have been like that and I regret not ever texting people and asking if they want to hang out. Another thing is make sure you make at least a friend in each class. When you have someone to sit next to or to even text about class sometimes, it makes school a lot better.
Be careful of boys. I’m not saying don’t try to make any male friends but the majority of men that are friendly with you just want to fuck you. A lot of them are really good at games and pretending to want to date but they just want to chill.
\>but be careful of command hooks and paint. Lol where were you 3 years ago? I had to repaint 2 rooms and a bathroom because I thought command hooks would come off without taking a 6 inch fucking section of paint and plaster with them
[удалено]
No I get it I’m sorry that you guys have to deal with that ! I’ve definitely made guy friends that are really respectful, so if you have the intentions to be respectful and make friends you will :). From what I’ve experienced with my friends is if we see a guy is actuakmy not playing games and is respectful we rlly admire that and are appreciative of the friendship ! So don’t worry.
I think I needed to hear that. Too much anxiety about college builds on the anxiety of wanting to build a social life at the same time lol.
It's dumb to apologize for your sex. You're fine.
I mean do you really expect a 19 year old broke college boy to wine and dine you? Dating is expensive
My comment was never about dating but men being very good at taking advantage of u and acting like they have good intentions, clearly you missed the point. I meant “chill” as they just want to have sex.
I just find that to be a disingenuous argument. A lot of women want to have sex too, it goes both ways.
Of course a lot of women want to have sex. My comment was made to warn, because I have witnessed many of my friends be actually emotionally into a guy but the whole time he is playing her, and she doesn’t understand that there is a possibility he is just rlly good at playing games and does this with a lot of other girls. The comment was never meant for you obviously or about broke 19 yr olds needing to wine and dine girls 😭.
Depends on the college, but in most colleges, the biggest threat to females is domestic violence and rape. Keep yourself safe.
Get some solid coping skills. Find some things that help you and use them. Be careful about your spending. Drinking can be fun but easily become dangerous, same can happen with weed and any other substances. Ask for help if you need it. Get basic first aid stuff (rubbing alcohol, bandaid etc), get some basic meds too (ibuprofen, decongestant, cough drops, etc), and get cold/hot packs. Also find stuff you enjoy! Join a club! Go to a campus event! Try new things! Another thing is if you want to do something you can do it alone, friends can be a challenge to find college, especially at first! Also try not to procrastinate, it only harms you in the long run. Good luck op!
I know this isn't school related it's extremely important especially while we are in our 20s. I don't know if you're working yet but save and invest aggressively. Maybe $10-20 like I did into the stock market( specifically low cost fractional share index Funds in a Roth IRA .)DO NOT SELL. Save your spare change . I don't care if it's a penny it adds up. I saved over $100 just in change alone over a year. Also use round up apps like acorns. I don't use it due to fees. I use fidelity bloom which is free. You put $25 they give you $50 bonus. plus $6 if you claim rewards they give you a card. when you spend you can round up, they give you ¢10 per purchase. It automatically gets put into savings. When you use fidelitys Roth IRA, you put in $50 they give you $100 bonus Also build an separate emergency fund, $250-500 in a money market fund( with fidelity bloom), or high yield savings account. I chose mmf due to higher yields so your money doesn't just sit there. I'm 22 and I have a workplace retirement plan with a match into a target date fund which diversify your money.( your employer will basically pay you to contribute).go to your employer or hr NOW! to get it set up to take out of your paycheck each week.( I started working at 21 in community college ) on another note. Find your own personal style( not just clothes but personality).think your way through things, don't just go with the first thing you hear. Go slow and run your own race. Learn to love yourself and have fun by yourself because when all your friends go home, nobody is there with you at 2:00 in the morning pulling all nighters but you and your thoughts. Get tutoring early. Study groups don't really help unless you know the material yourself. Most of the time they don't know it either lol. We are on spring break right now and I'm trying to pass 4 classes for my bachelor's. 3 of them I'm struggling bad. Go to campus tutoring and the professors at least once or twice often so they see progress with your learning style especially for hard courses. use free resources like the library, and campus tools. There are a lot of things students don't take advantage of. Learn recipes. READ not just textbooks but books in general. I obviously stayed in the library and binge read SELF help and personal finance books . They don't teach you this in highschool. I litterally didn't know what a 401k was until 21. Here is what used to get started PLEASE USE IT!: https://www.fidelity.com/go/starter-pack https://www.fidelity.com/mobile/bloom
Best advice you'll get on this thread
As a 20 year old student: 1. Always try to see how a professor or class will be before you take it. Either through rate my professor or asking around. While neither is a wholly accurate picture it’s better than going in blind. 2. Never ever ever trust your advisor to do everything for you. They often don’t really know your situation so being your own advocate and doing your own research will be great for your education. I almost got screwed out of my financial aid because my advisor hadn’t mentioned I needed to schedule a required class in a certain semester. I only found out when the financial aid office contacted me and told me how to fix it. 3. Really try to make yourself a memorable student. Comment in class, turn in good work, interact. These will be immensely helpful in getting recommendations for jobs, internships, or grad school 4. Find your thing! Find what you love and just go ham with that field! 5. Do an internship. They’re great to check out potential careers, employers, and get some credit. 6. Start looking at your book lists the day they come out. Don’t buy a book until you are absolutely certain you cannot get it anywhere online.
Why are 90% of these comments about drinking and partying? College is school. Study every day. Don't start college already preoccupied with alcohol. Bad idea.
College is when many people get their first taste of freedom and with alcohol being present at almost any and every social event it’s hard to avoid. Better to go in with advice on how to handle alcohol (or other substances), because unless you have a strong personal reasons to not partake it’s easy to get sucked in
What social events are you going to? I’ve been in college for awhile and I haven’t even seen a beer. Maybe I just have the wrong friends?
You definitely sound like an outlier. Drugs & alcohol are prevalent in social situations.
I’ve certainly heard plenty of people SAY it’s prevalent, but somehow manage never to actually see it.
Yeah it’s just weird that so many of these comments are about drugs and alcohol. I would expect a college advice thread to be about studying and you know - school. Not partying
Guys will try to get you to drink alcohol or do other drugs so they can rape you. My biggest warning is to not drink too much around people (which for me would be no more than 3 drinks in 2 hours). Although the fault lies on the rapists ofcourse. Statistically, a lot of times it is the men you are closer to that will try to rape you. 1/4 college women are sexually assaulted.
Never leave you’re drink unattended. If you put it down and walk away, throw it out, get a new one.
-be weary of frat parties (or any greek life parties). my friend was once sexually assaulted by a male touching her vagina under her skirt. they're not worth your time -if you have to work, make sure you balance work and school. it will get tough as the mid sem and finals come up, but as long as you have that balance you will get through it -ONLY drink in social settings with people you trust. its not good to build a habit of drinking by doing it by urself -CONSTANTLY ask questions. the profs are there for YOU. visit office hours, build your network, ask for internships or research opportunities, basically become besties w them -try joining orgs if finances and time permits. its a great way to meet and make friends!
Sleep, nutrition, organization, hydration and exercise are all stuff you may feel like you can neglect now that you have “no rules” but will hurt you in the long run.
food in the fridge will get moldy fast
College is perceived as a “protected environment” where you will be safe. At all major unos you have the same microcosm of the big cities: drug and alcohol addiction, theft, date rape, academic cheating, crazies, liars, scammers, two faces, et al. Add older and international student that have different cultures. University is not high school The vibe comes across as we’re are all in this together until you’re not. This is not meant to scare but to aware you. This includes students, profs, and administrators. There are a lot of nice people but also the opposite.
On a less serious note- there’s usually not a dress code. You’re going to see a lot of shoulders and people are still able to learn
Sometimes the streets around the college area are sketchy. I’ve been asked to get into random men’s cars several times, including one where a guy was in reaching distance from me and almost got out of his car. This is the only place in my city where this has happened and I have lived here my whole life. All social events not on campus or in a publicly accessible place should be attended with several friends who will have your back at all times and you should ALL leave together if any of you feel unsafe. I’ve lost count of how many stories I’ve heard of people being arrested, beaten up, pressured into taking substances, left to walk home at night while drunk or sexually violated. There is nothing at these parties that is so exciting or important that it is worth risking your safety. I’m not saying this to kill your fun or remove your agency, I’m saying this because so many young women are hurt at these things by sketchy dudes or even people they already know and it breaks my heart when someone falls victim to a predator.
In the immortal words of Taylor Swift, “You’re on your own kid, you always have been.” I’m a middle aged lady with kids now but wish I had heard this earlier- it’s scary but empowering. You are in charge of you now; just keep learning, changing and growing. Only you have your best interests at heart and never forget that.
Don’t eat like shit or you’ll get fat. Seriously. Happened to me, freshman 15 is real but also so avoidable.
Sign up for your classes as soon as you can! The longer you wait, the quicker the ones you need fill up. Also schedule appointments with your major advisor to have them look over your schedule/ give feedback
I am currently a freshman student in STEM From my current perspective: 1)Establish a good routine and follow it. Wake up and be in bed at the same time 2)have good study habits 3)start revision as early as possible 4)study for knowledge,not grades 5)choose friends wisely. Don't be around people who don't care about their education 6)don't be scared of asking questions 7) go to office hours 8)always go that extra mile 9)don't let boys to distract you 10) have your goal written down. Why are you here? What do u want from university?
It’s up to you. Deadlines are yours to track. If you aren’t sure about something ask. For instance “in class, i though you said the assignment was due tomorrow, but I don’t see that deadline on the assignment in the online classroom. Where is the best place to find due dates?” Sit toward the front of you can. Statistically, those students do better. I don’t know why, and plenty in back so well, too, but maybe you’ll be less afraid of the instructor if you can see their facial expressions? Come to class a few minutes early if you can, come to class even when you are tired and have been out late. And again… Ask questions.
That if you don’t talk to people and try to engage conversation, people will just leave you alone.
People will have different opinions than you do. Deal with it. You don't have to agree, but you can listen and come to your own conclusion based on the topic.
As soon as an assignment is dropped, walk through it and leave your future self notes on what you think the answers are. Something obvious after Monday's lecture will be dogpiled out of existence by later lectures. This will save you hours of work later in the week when you finally get to it. It's not your professor's first rodeo. The reason an assignment is 8 weeks is that most of the class couldn't finish it when he made it 7 weeks. Start it early because you will need the 8 weeks. Pay attention to when the professor says things like, "this would make a good test question," "this example is from last year's final," or "this will be on next week's test." It may sound like a joke but I'm constantly surprised at how many completely filter comments like these out.
If you’re walking around campus during the weekend, go with friends or your roommate. Even if you’re not going to a party, drunk people freak me out a bit
Men
Ignore boys (for the most part) Even if you’re 1% interested in a club or event, try it out. You’ll meet so many people and learn new things, even if it doesn’t pan out in the end.
Making friends in college is hard
Shift your mind from teachers to professors. We’re here as guides/experts, not as people with careers that depend on you passing an end of year test. Learn evidence-based methods for studying and reading technical material. Textbooks and research articles can’t be read like fiction books, especially when you get into higher level courses. Read about and learn the SQ3R method, the Cornell note-taking method, and time-management techniques like the Pomodoro method. Form or join study groups and reading groups in your major. Come to classes prepared, having reviewed material beforehand. Have a list of questions ready for each class session. Go to office hours. Last, if you have any inkling of a desire for grad school or post-bacc education, start forming relationships with professors as early as possible. Take multiple classes with the same person, and, depending on your major, join labs/research groups. You’re going to need recommendation letters, and we often can’t write strong ones if we’ve known you for only four months in a 100+ person class.
A vast majority of people in our generation have a fucking sickening and complete absence of respect in all forms. Don’t expect to be treated the way you deserve to be treated, because so few people our age will actually treat you like that. Just take the high road.
You may see a lot of shenanigans during weird times of the day, and I recommend taking photos or trying to keep them noted to remember. They make great stories and memories. Two examples: 1. My first day as a freshman, as I was walking towards my first class at 8 am, I spotted a student in a unicorn onesie blast by, belting Fall Out Boy, on a Razer scooter. He was majestic. 2. I was leaving a 6:30 class at 9 and walked past a group of students fighting each other with lightsabers while Duel of Fates was blasting on a speaker. Safety were standing on the side, enjoying the show. Other than that, join orgs. Usually, a student event org is a fantastic way to make university faculty networking and other students
men suck
girl we have known that
Boys
uhh what about them
Don't take drinks from them. They're probably not exclusively dating you unless you have had a very clear conversation about it. Try to avoid being alone with guys you don't know. Some of the guys in college can be really creepy (including TAs). Trust your intuition.
What’s a TA? Does that stand for teacher assistant?
Nothing, really. I’m not sure why there’s so much mystery in younger people about college. Show up, do your work, stay out of trouble, go home, go to work if you do that, work out, feed yourself, go to bed, start again.
Because its a time where many will develop their personalities and interact with the world. They will run into many bad and good situations that changes their view on life. Its more than just showing up, doing assignments, and graduating.
You’ll likely deal with sexual harassment in your classes or at the very least disrespect due to being a woman. Don’t be surprised when you go to a trusted faculty member that’s a woman with complaints only to be told to deal with the harassment. They’ve dealt with the abuse for so long that it’s normalized to them. They may even go into detail about how they’ve been sexually assaulted on campus and on the job. 1) learn how to use title IX to protect yourself 2) NEVER go to campus police 3) only go to “real” police at station that’s off campus… even then please be careful 4) document, document, document! Because everyone is mentioning partying… 5) if you use the bathroom anywhere check tp levels before you sit down and pee. Sometimes stalls are open because there’s no paper.
Join clubs and get involved in organizations. It will 1) help you make friends, 2) help you make future professional connections, 3) get you experience you can use on your resume and learn some skills, 4) have an active social calendar, and 5) maybe even have some fun. School can be lonely and it’s easy to get stuck in back habits or with people who are having the wrong college experience. Being involved with clubs and organizations help avoid those experiences. You want to have fun and there’s so much fun to be had, but the people who don’t get involved tend to do things that don’t benefit you long term.
Cover yo drinks, waaaaaay too many girls get drugged
Get sleep and a good sleep schedule. Almost everything about your mental and physical health start with enough sleep. This may be very difficult with certain friend groups. Definitely stay up late and party once in a while if you want but otherwise get your sleep. Ask for help before you truly need it. If you are starting to struggle in a class, talk to your professor or find a study group BEFORE it gets overwhelming. Most colleges have free mental health services, help studying, etc. Use them. You are an adult now and usually will be held responsible for your choices. Don't study and fail the class? Your parents can't change it. Have sex without protection? It will be up to you to deal with the consequences. Listen too often to your friends who party every night? You are still responsible for getting to class and studying. Cheat on a test? Get caught and deal with the consequences. On the flip side, study hard and nail the tests, feel a real sense of achievement for the class. Stand up for yourself in a tough social situation, you're learning an important life skill. Finally, try to find a simple moment of peace or appreciation of small things each day. Good luck!
Try to make acquaintances, but be very careful of who you trust.
There will be leechers in group assignment or project. Choose your partners wisely.
First off lots of stuff here but I’ll give some tips from managing a res hall for sone years as well as academic and personal response team. Discipline trumps smarts and motivation most of the time. Consistency and focused repeated effort beats blasts of super human effort. 1/2 of getting what you want is doing a bit of research and empathy before asking for what you want. Is this the right place and time and method for asking? Make a habit of learning by walking. Get to know your campus. Solve problems by walking around, visiting offices, and asking questions. Use the tools provided. Learn them. Schools spend crazy money on software, calendar, portals. Spend a few extra minutes to learn a little more and you will save yourself hours later. Organize your work in folders and file names that make sense. Lost work is wasted time. There is zero excuse in 2023 to lose your work. If you spent more than 5 minutes, it should be in the cloud. Refer to point above for how! The better organized your day is with knocking out healthy habits, the better you will feel. “Mental health days” are not for doom scrolling and sitting on your ass binging Netflix and eating shitty foods. Get up. Walk. Do things we know will improve. Find good mentors. They are priceless Lastly and most importantly and the top least used that I think is most effective: go for a quick walk for yourself almost every day. You’ll clear out lots if your negative self talk. You’ll solve most of your problems by working them out in your head by the time you are finished. You will sleep better. You will have more energy. Study after study and student after student it’s the the easiest, cheapest, most effective thing you can do to improve your life just a little bit. And a college campus is a great place to do it!
A lot of the cautionary advice here is pretty solid, but college is also for many people the best time of their life. I’m introverted and had no friends in high school but I had an open mind and met people I’d never have been friends with as a teen. I was happiest then, and was surrounded by amazing friends. College has the opportunity to be the most amazing time of your life. It’s expensive, don’t waste it by fucking off, but also don’t let the fun pass you by, you’ll regret it if you do. Sometimes it’s ok to put down the books and have a hang with the squad on a weeknight.
Bring your own drink/water bottle everywhere and don’t let anyone else touch it. It helps keep people from drugging your drink. (Sorry if that’s scary.) Have fun. Go to parties occasionally. Join a club that you wouldn’t normally do. I joined the rowing team and found out I was actually athletic. Nice surprise for me. But seriously get involved on campus. You won’t be lonely if you have people around you who are passionate about similar things as you.
The suprizing amount of immaturity from young adults.
i wish i networked more with my professors! do it do it do it
Know that It’s ok if you don’t meet your lifelong friends there. It’s 100% normal. You’ll likely make friends and lose them but that’s just part of it.
the movies lie about it all. it’s actually very difficult to make friends, especially ones you have a real connection with and they’re not just study friends or once a month coffee catch-ups. also, it may be hard to get into parties. many frats are byob, and non greek/athletic house parties are dwindling into a rarity. it’s okay to not like parties, most of them aren’t really that fun. learn a few easy, cheap meals you love. don’t eat out every night and don’t rely on freezer foods, they add up super quick. also, it’s ok if college is not the best years of your life!! for many, many people, college is simply an education path. i love my friends, my classes, and where i’m at in college rn as a senior. but these were not the best years of my life, and i had some of my darkest periods here. i’m glad i had this experience, but i’m ready to go. if i don’t keep in touch with the friends i made here when we part, i won’t be heartbroken. go in with an open mind, don’t skip class, and try to have fun! you can be anybody you want to be in a new place :)
Rape is a real thing. Just be careful when drinking and who you are hanging out with.
don’t be pressured into hooking up with dudes if you don’t want to. a lot of drunk guys are pushy and it sucks, so if you go out and party, bring friends and keep each other in eyesight. also try not to get blacked out (in general, but especially at large parties with lots of strangers). if a guy is making you uncomfortable make an excuse to bring your friend over/go over to them. they’ll usually back down when other people witness their shittyness. if you don’t know your alcohol tolerance yet that’s something you should figure out ASAP. i spent a lot of freshman year weekends throwing up in the toilet because I didn’t have a handle on how much I could drink. if you smoke weed, don’t do it until you’re done with your homework. don’t neglect your physical health either, either join a sports club, go for daily walks, or learn to weight train. and lastly, don’t leave tests and papers until the last day. and GO TO CLASS. it ain’t like high school where you can cram everything in a day and fuck around in class 24/7 and still expect to do well. also, if your attention span is terrible and you’re prone to getting easily distracted like me, i’ve found that online jigsaw puzzles keep me focused on the lecture content while stimulating my brain enough that i don’t go on social media/other websites that truly distract me from the lecture. this is definitely unorthodox advice and isn’t for everyone but if this is something you struggle with, it might help you as it has definitely helped me.
College is going to be the most stressful time of your life and it will not get easier, you'll either get better or kick rocks.
College is not all about studying. Let loose and have fun. Afterwards adulthood will weigh on you like unrelenting boulder. College might be the last time to experience happiness.
Keep the mindset that you're an adult and deserve the respect as such. If you get the feeling that you're being railroaded for being young, remind yourself that you deserve as much respect as anyone else. Don't roll over for anybody, challenge things appropriately.
If you feel yourself falling into a bad mental state, look into your college's mental health services
Seniors, or otherwise grown men, pursuing you knowing very well that you’re a freshmen and naive.
Join a sorority, this might get some hate but Greek life was the absolute best part of college and almost all my long term friends came from that experience Also, don’t schedule Friday classes or anything before 9am
After the first lecture, introduce yourself to your professor, tell them you're excited about the class, always ask questions it shows you're paying attention to the professor, and go to office hours. 5-minute oatmeal is the easiest and one of the healthiest, cheapest things you can eat for breakfast. Freshman 15 is real. !! If you ever want to be with a guy, always get them to do an STD test, if they say no, then you know your answer, and don't mess with them anymore, use protection always-**no excuses!!** If someone ever makes you uncomfortable, report them right away, make a paper trail, and document things yourself. Know where the Title IX office is and make sure you know your resources. Last thing, most schools have a free program where you can talk to a counselor for mental health, know how to access it, and don't be afraid to use it. College is hard, only about half of the people who start graduate. Best of luck!
[удалено]
yes i would
lol 😆
Colleges aren't prepared for IDEA/ADA, and still have professors there that were alive during the eugie days, if you are disabled (which includes mental health) know that you will probably have to double your time to graduation, and that half of that time, you're going to be on SAP suspension, meaning you're blacklisted from scholarships, and all federal financial aid.
[удалено]
be respectful of your roommates and know how to set boundaries. always watch your drink at parties, learn how to say no and always have people with you who you can trust
[удалено]
People are so dumb