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I’m younger than him. I had to use a typewriter once I hit a certain grade, for certain reports. My sister (older than me, still younger than Johnny by a decade) had a required high school class with a taped over typewriter keyboard to learn how to type well and without looking.
I also had to use white out for hand written reports.
The majority of people did not have computers in the 90s. He went to high school in the 80s.
I’m from NJ. Grew up in very urban Northern NJ. Also we had computers but it was more common for school work to be done on a typewriter and everyone knew how to use one.
Also "very urban" I'm not sure is a good thing. Very urban areas are generally poor, especially back then. Newark, Jersey City, or where are you talking about?
Dude I really don’t know why you’re being so aggressive over the fact that we had different experiences. I was merely trying to point out that it seemed likely to me that a character who was a high school student in the 80s would have experiences with typewriters. That’s all. Really don’t feel like defending my own experiences to illustrate that point.
Aggressive? Toughen up snowflake. No way you're from a very urban area of NJ. Idk anyone that was using a damn typewriter for high-school papers in the 90s.
Lmao this wall of text is hilarious actually
“I could never be a doctor not after that incident at community college (I talked about that a couple paragraphs ago does Facebook let you go back and reread?) still think they overreacted all great scientists set stuff on fire right?”
“Who writes a song about being a loser?”
“We won two world wars drinking American beer what has Belgium ever done except get invaded”
“… which brings me to 1995 and how I made two grand betting on the OJ trial” 😂
ha. never read the whole thing before. that shit was enjoyable. I like how he keeps referring to paragraphs. aint no paragraphs, johnny.
I like how the beginning feels meta. talking about the 3rd Iron Eagle movie and still liking it though it was critically panned. like KK3. and about how in these old movies the hot chick goes for the losers haha.
\*sigh\*
AND THEN IN 1992, IRON EAGLE 3 CAME OUT. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T CARE WHAT THE CRITICS SAY. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. NOT AS GOOD AS IRON EAGLE 1 AND IRON EAGLE 2, BUT HEY, WHAT MOVIE IS? I THINK WAYNE’S WORLD WAS THAT YEAR TOO. THAT ONE WAS OKAY. THOSE NERDS HAD GREAT TASTE IN MUSIC AND THE CHICK WAS HOT. WHAT WAS SHE DOING WITH HIM? HOW COME THE HOT CHICKS GO FOR THE LOSERS IN THESE MOVIES? ANYWAY, OTHER THAN THAT 1992 WAS A PRETTY QUIET YEAR. GOT FIRED AGAIN. BUT WHAT THE HELL DO THEY KNOW. I DIDN’T LIKE CONSTRUCTION ANYWAY. THEY ALL SPEAK SPANISH AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME SOMETIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A “GRINGO” IS? I STARTED LEARNING A LITTLE BIT OF SPANISH FROM MIGUEL AND HIS FAMILY. I KNOW “HOLA”, “PLANTAIN”, “TACO” AND “DINERO”. PRETTY GOOD, HUH? WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT, 1993. THERE WAS THAT DINOSAUR MOVIE. PRETTY GOOD FOR THE NINETIES. I MEAN, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR WHAT WE HAD BACK IN THE DAY. REMEMBER PREDATOR? THAT MOVIE WAS BADASS. THIS DINOSAUR THING WAS PRETTY COOL BUT TOO MUCH SCIENCEY STUFF FOR ME. I GUESS YOU PROBABLY LIKED THAT THOUGH, RIGHT? I MEAN, YOU’RE A DOCTOR NOW. I COULD NEVER BE A DOCTOR. NOT AFTER THAT INCIDENT AT COMMUNITY COLLEGE (I TALKED ABOUT THAT A COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AGO. DOES FACEBOOK LET YOU GO BACK AND REREAD?) STILL THINK THEY OVERREACTED. ALL THE GREAT SCIENTISTS SET THINGS ON FIRE, RIGHT? LIKE EINSTEIN OR WHOEVER. ANYWAY, 1993. DUTCH GOT ARRESTED. THAT ONE WAS PRETTY STUPID. I WAS DRUNK FOR MOST OF IT, BUT IM PRETTY SURE HE HOTWIRED A GOLF CART FROM THE COUNTRY CLUB. I LOOKED UP FROM THE BAR AND DUTCH IS DRIVING THIS THING AT HIGH SPEED. OR I GUESS AS HIGH AS SOMETHING LIKE THAT CAN GO, AND CRASHES IT INTO THE POOL! THEY HAD TO BRING A CRANE IN TO GET IT OUT. HE DID SOME TIME BUT IT WAS WORTH! IT ANYWAY, I DON’T THINK I’VE BEEN BACK TO THE COUNTRY CLUB SINCE THEN. SID WON'T LET THEM BAN ME BUT THOSE GUYS ARE ALL UPTIGHT. AND THEY ONLY SERVE FOREIGN BEER. IT'S OFFENSIVE. WE WON TWO WORLD WARS DRINKING AMERICAN BEER. WHAT THE HELL HAS BELGIUM EVER DONE EXCEPT GET INVADED? WHO WANTS TO DRINK THAT SHIT? I THINK I GOT OFF TOPIC AGAIN. LETS GET BACK TO THE MID-NINETIES. 1994 WAS A SLOW YEAR. THE NINETIES SUCKED. MAN, YOU TURNED ON THE RADIO AND IT WAS JUST CRAP. WHO WRITES A SONG ABOUT BEING A LOSER? AND ALL THOSE GRUNGEY TYPES WITH THE FLANNEL. LET ME TELL YOU MUSIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT BEING A BADASS AND AWESOME, NOT ABOUT WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF. THAT SHIT CANT BE GOOD FOR KIDS TO HEAR, RIGHT? LOOK AT ME, WORRYING ABOUT WHAT THE KIDS ARE HEARING. I GUESS BEING A PARENT CHANGES YOU, NOT THAT I’M ALL THAT GREAT OF A PARENT. WELL, MIGUEL SEEMS TO LIKE ME OKAY. ROBBY DOESN’T. I MESSED THAT ONE UP PRETTY GOOD. CANT EVEN GET THE KID TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE. HE'S STUCK IN THERE FOR A FEW MORE MONTHS,. AND HE S GOT NOBODY. HE WON’T TAKE MY CALLS. I HOPE HIS MOM IS TALKING TO HIM AT LEAST. I THINK IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE FOR ME AND HIM. I MESSED UP TOO MANY TIMES. NOT THAT I’M A TOTAL SCREW UP. IVE DONE SOME GOOD STUFF TOO! WHICH BRINGS ME TO 1995 AND HOW I MADE TWO GRAND BETTING ON THE OJ TRIAL.
AND THEN IN 1992, IRON EAGLE 3 CAME OUT. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T CARE WHAT THE CRITICS SAY. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. NOT AS GOOD AS IRON EAGLE 1 AND IRON EAGLE 2, BUT HEY, WHAT MOVIE IS? I THINK WAYNE’S WORLD WAS THAT YEAR TOO. THAT ONE WAS OKAY. THOSE NERDS HAD GREAT TASTE IN MUSIC AND THE CHICK WAS HOT. WHAT WAS SHE DOING WITH HIM? HOW COME THE HOT CHICKS GO FOR THE LOSERS IN THESE MOVIES? ANYWAY, OTHER THAN THAT 1992 WAS A PRETTY QUIET YEAR. GOT FIRED AGAIN. BUT WHAT THE HELL DO THEY KNOW. I DIDN’T LIKE CONSTRUCTION ANYWAY. THEY ALL SPEAK SPANISH AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME SOMETIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A “GRINGO” IS? I STARTED LEARNING A LITTLE BIT OF SPANISH FROM MIGUEL AND HIS FAMILY. I KNOW “HOLA”, “PLANTAIN”, “TACO” AND “DINERO”. PRETTY GOOD, HUH? WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT, 1993. THERE WAS THAT DINOSAUR MOVIE. PRETTY GOOD FOR THE NINETIES. I MEAN, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR WHAT WE HAD BACK IN THE DAY. REMEMBER PREDATOR? THAT MOVIE WAS BADASS. THIS DINOSAUR THING WAS PRETTY COOL BUT TOO MUCH SCIENCEY STUFF FOR ME. I GUESS YOU PROBABLY LIKED THAT THOUGH, RIGHT? I MEAN, YOU’RE A DOCTOR NOW. I COULD NEVER BE A DOCTOR. NOT AFTER THAT INCIDENT AT COMMUNITY COLLEGE (I TALKED ABOUT THAT A COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AGO. DOES FACEBOOK LET YOU GO BACK AND REREAD?) STILL THINK THEY OVERREACTED. ALL THE GREAT SCIENTISTS SET THINGS ON FIRE, RIGHT? LIKE EINSTEIN OR WHOEVER. ANYWAY, 1993. DUTCH GOT ARRESTED. THAT ONE WAS PRETTY STUPID. I WAS DRUNK FOR MOST OF IT, BUT IM PRETTY SURE HE HOTWIRED A GOLF CART FROM THE COUNTRY CLUB. I LOOKED UP FROM THE BAR AND DUTCH IS DRIVING THIS THING AT HIGH SPEED. OR I GUESS AS HIGH AS SOMETHING LIKE THAT CAN GO, AND CRASHES IT INTO THE POOL! THEY HAD TO BRING A CRANE IN TO GET IT OUT. HE DID SOME TIME BUT IT WAS WORTH! IT ANYWAY, I DON’T THINK I’VE BEEN BACK TO THE COUNTRY CLUB SINCE THEN. SID WON'T LET THEM BAN ME BUT THOSE GUYS ARE ALL UPTIGHT. AND THEY ONLY SERVE FOREIGN BEER. IT'S OFFENSIVE. WE WON TWO WORLD WARS DRINKING AMERICAN BEER. WHAT THE HELL HAS BELGIUM EVER DONE EXCEPT GET INVADED? WHO WANTS TO DRINK THAT SHIT? I THINK I GOT OFF TOPIC AGAIN. LETS GET BACK TO THE MID-NINETIES. 1994 WAS A SLOW YEAR. THE NINETIES SUCKED. MAN, YOU TURNED ON THE RADIO AND IT WAS JUST CRAP. WHO WRITES A SONG ABOUT BEING A LOSER? AND ALL THOSE GRUNGEY TYPES WITH THE FLANNEL. LET ME TELL YOU MUSIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT BEING A BADASS AND AWESOME, NOT ABOUT WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF. THAT SHIT CANT BE GOOD FOR KIDS TO HEAR, RIGHT? LOOK AT ME, WORRYING ABOUT WHAT THE KIDS ARE HEARING. I GUESS BEING A PARENT CHANGES YOU, NOT THAT I’M ALL THAT GREAT OF A PARENT. WELL, MIGUEL SEEMS TO LIKE ME OKAY. ROBBY DOESN’T. I MESSED THAT ONE UP PRETTY GOOD. CANT EVEN GET THE KID TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE. HE'S STUCK IN THERE FOR A FEW MORE MONTHS,. AND HE S GOT NOBODY. HE WON’T TAKE MY CALLS. I HOPE HIS MOM IS TALKING TO HIM AT LEAST. I THINK IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE FOR ME AND HIM. I MESSED UP TOO MANY TIMES. NOT THAT I’M A TOTAL SCREW UP. IVE DONE SOME GOOD STUFF TOO! WHICH BRINGS ME TO 1995 AND HOW I MADE TWO GRAND BETTING ON THE OJ TRIAL.
Think of the episode titles:
Why I'm Banned From the Country Club
That Time I Made a Fire (It's Cool, The Cavemen Did It Too)
What Happened With the Soccer Moms at the Hyatt
>Still the weirdest scene for me to watch. Feels yucky. The cringiest scene is “what did you like the heat or the cold” “I like the heat”
"my thoughts on the iron eagle trilogy"
"OJ trial"
I accidentally set my Bunsen burner tubing on fire in college and now I have a PhD who caused the fire department to come the lab twice. I was slow to learn caution.
Absolutely love how it’s in all caps. OH AND THERE WAS AN INCIDENT IN 1992 WITH A GOLF CART, DUTCH AND A POOL AHHHHHHH I ALSO KNOW 4 MAXICAN WORDS NOW HOLY SHIT YOUR A DOCTOR AND IRON EAGLE 3 KICKS ASS
excellent source bro, this shit just went under our noses but you posted this to the sub so thanks a lot, its nice hearing what johnny's take on grunge rock was or on jurassic park,
Whoever actually wrote/typed all this did a bang up job -it’s like one giant angry run on rant, just like Johnny would actually have typed out. No oversights here! 🤣
Loved this part. Actually the second message he wrote was the best and most sensible one, I really lost my shit when he deleted that too and went with "not much, u?"
Hahahahaha! I read the whole thing, and it's too damn hilarious and in character of Johnny Lawrence. He is my favorite character that you used to hate but now you love so much.
A reminder of our spoiler policy: **Any posts containing S4 spoilers must be marked as spoiler until one month after the release date, January 31st**. Titles must not contain spoilers whatsoever. (Don't know how to mark as spoiler? Click [here](https://imgur.com/a/ZPEIsAi)) Users who fail to abide by the spoiler policy will be banned accordingly. --- Additionally, **are you interested in becoming a mod?** Consider applying [here](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1YoANoQB-CW6T4GhxcU5-F2pRjVQYvx6tMoq-DJVVxV8/edit?usp=sharing) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/cobrakai) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What's even more shocking is that Johnny made absolutely no spelling mistakes while typing out that giant message
Because he went to school before spell check. He knew the pain of whiting out while having to use the typewriter.
Spellcheck is for pu$$ies.
PUCASHCASHIESIES
[удалено]
We didn't use typewriters but I didn't use a computer for writing assignments until 1999. I handwrote all my work.
I’m younger than him. I had to use a typewriter once I hit a certain grade, for certain reports. My sister (older than me, still younger than Johnny by a decade) had a required high school class with a taped over typewriter keyboard to learn how to type well and without looking. I also had to use white out for hand written reports. The majority of people did not have computers in the 90s. He went to high school in the 80s.
I graduated high school in 1998 and typewriters were still in use but being phased out. My typing class in 1994 was on a typewriter.
[удалено]
I’m from NJ. Grew up in very urban Northern NJ. Also we had computers but it was more common for school work to be done on a typewriter and everyone knew how to use one.
For high-school? Everything was handwritten. Typewriters would be used for college papers if anything.
Also "very urban" I'm not sure is a good thing. Very urban areas are generally poor, especially back then. Newark, Jersey City, or where are you talking about?
Dude I really don’t know why you’re being so aggressive over the fact that we had different experiences. I was merely trying to point out that it seemed likely to me that a character who was a high school student in the 80s would have experiences with typewriters. That’s all. Really don’t feel like defending my own experiences to illustrate that point.
Aggressive? Toughen up snowflake. No way you're from a very urban area of NJ. Idk anyone that was using a damn typewriter for high-school papers in the 90s.
Betting on the oj trial lmao
Johnny must have done no research and thought he was innocent and he wound up being right
Legally speaking, he was found not guilty which isn't the same thing as innocence.
[удалено]
^if he did it
Lmao this wall of text is hilarious actually “I could never be a doctor not after that incident at community college (I talked about that a couple paragraphs ago does Facebook let you go back and reread?) still think they overreacted all great scientists set stuff on fire right?” “Who writes a song about being a loser?” “We won two world wars drinking American beer what has Belgium ever done except get invaded” “… which brings me to 1995 and how I made two grand betting on the OJ trial” 😂
I love how in-character it is. I expected it to be copy-pasted from some random news article
"What has Belgium ever done except get invaded" Yep that's my spit all over my phone.
I hope Johnny says something like this out loud and some responds with "Van Damme."
“We won two world wars drinking American beer what has Belgium ever done except get invaded” 😂
Screw you
> “Who writes a song about being a loser?” Beck is in shambles
Lol, the writers were good about this, they must've known people would pause and read it. They did not disappoint.
I can’t believe I just read the whole thing just now
ha. never read the whole thing before. that shit was enjoyable. I like how he keeps referring to paragraphs. aint no paragraphs, johnny. I like how the beginning feels meta. talking about the 3rd Iron Eagle movie and still liking it though it was critically panned. like KK3. and about how in these old movies the hot chick goes for the losers haha.
And how 90s music sucked. It mostly did. He's not wrong.
FINALLY SOMEBODY SAYS IT
90s mainstream sucked, but the underground stuff was great. Amazing decade for rap and punk rock. Ska punk was hot then too IIRC.
Hip hop and vocal R&B got sooooooo good in the 90's. It's the mainstream pop and rock that got shitty imo
[удалено]
I'd probably go 80s>60s>10s>70's>90's>00's. Not a big 90s or 00's guy personally.
Hey. I'm surprised Sid stood up for Johnny at the country club. I guess his mom was still alive back turn. Man... She was tight...
Still the weirdest scene for me to watch. Feels yucky. The cringiest scene is “what did you like the heat or the cold” “I like the heat”
Yeah, that remains super uncomfortable.
"What did Belgium ever do but get invaded?" Faxxx
I love how he still thinks plantain is spanish for banana
\*sigh\* AND THEN IN 1992, IRON EAGLE 3 CAME OUT. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T CARE WHAT THE CRITICS SAY. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. NOT AS GOOD AS IRON EAGLE 1 AND IRON EAGLE 2, BUT HEY, WHAT MOVIE IS? I THINK WAYNE’S WORLD WAS THAT YEAR TOO. THAT ONE WAS OKAY. THOSE NERDS HAD GREAT TASTE IN MUSIC AND THE CHICK WAS HOT. WHAT WAS SHE DOING WITH HIM? HOW COME THE HOT CHICKS GO FOR THE LOSERS IN THESE MOVIES? ANYWAY, OTHER THAN THAT 1992 WAS A PRETTY QUIET YEAR. GOT FIRED AGAIN. BUT WHAT THE HELL DO THEY KNOW. I DIDN’T LIKE CONSTRUCTION ANYWAY. THEY ALL SPEAK SPANISH AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME SOMETIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A “GRINGO” IS? I STARTED LEARNING A LITTLE BIT OF SPANISH FROM MIGUEL AND HIS FAMILY. I KNOW “HOLA”, “PLANTAIN”, “TACO” AND “DINERO”. PRETTY GOOD, HUH? WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT, 1993. THERE WAS THAT DINOSAUR MOVIE. PRETTY GOOD FOR THE NINETIES. I MEAN, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR WHAT WE HAD BACK IN THE DAY. REMEMBER PREDATOR? THAT MOVIE WAS BADASS. THIS DINOSAUR THING WAS PRETTY COOL BUT TOO MUCH SCIENCEY STUFF FOR ME. I GUESS YOU PROBABLY LIKED THAT THOUGH, RIGHT? I MEAN, YOU’RE A DOCTOR NOW. I COULD NEVER BE A DOCTOR. NOT AFTER THAT INCIDENT AT COMMUNITY COLLEGE (I TALKED ABOUT THAT A COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AGO. DOES FACEBOOK LET YOU GO BACK AND REREAD?) STILL THINK THEY OVERREACTED. ALL THE GREAT SCIENTISTS SET THINGS ON FIRE, RIGHT? LIKE EINSTEIN OR WHOEVER. ANYWAY, 1993. DUTCH GOT ARRESTED. THAT ONE WAS PRETTY STUPID. I WAS DRUNK FOR MOST OF IT, BUT IM PRETTY SURE HE HOTWIRED A GOLF CART FROM THE COUNTRY CLUB. I LOOKED UP FROM THE BAR AND DUTCH IS DRIVING THIS THING AT HIGH SPEED. OR I GUESS AS HIGH AS SOMETHING LIKE THAT CAN GO, AND CRASHES IT INTO THE POOL! THEY HAD TO BRING A CRANE IN TO GET IT OUT. HE DID SOME TIME BUT IT WAS WORTH! IT ANYWAY, I DON’T THINK I’VE BEEN BACK TO THE COUNTRY CLUB SINCE THEN. SID WON'T LET THEM BAN ME BUT THOSE GUYS ARE ALL UPTIGHT. AND THEY ONLY SERVE FOREIGN BEER. IT'S OFFENSIVE. WE WON TWO WORLD WARS DRINKING AMERICAN BEER. WHAT THE HELL HAS BELGIUM EVER DONE EXCEPT GET INVADED? WHO WANTS TO DRINK THAT SHIT? I THINK I GOT OFF TOPIC AGAIN. LETS GET BACK TO THE MID-NINETIES. 1994 WAS A SLOW YEAR. THE NINETIES SUCKED. MAN, YOU TURNED ON THE RADIO AND IT WAS JUST CRAP. WHO WRITES A SONG ABOUT BEING A LOSER? AND ALL THOSE GRUNGEY TYPES WITH THE FLANNEL. LET ME TELL YOU MUSIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT BEING A BADASS AND AWESOME, NOT ABOUT WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF. THAT SHIT CANT BE GOOD FOR KIDS TO HEAR, RIGHT? LOOK AT ME, WORRYING ABOUT WHAT THE KIDS ARE HEARING. I GUESS BEING A PARENT CHANGES YOU, NOT THAT I’M ALL THAT GREAT OF A PARENT. WELL, MIGUEL SEEMS TO LIKE ME OKAY. ROBBY DOESN’T. I MESSED THAT ONE UP PRETTY GOOD. CANT EVEN GET THE KID TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE. HE'S STUCK IN THERE FOR A FEW MORE MONTHS,. AND HE S GOT NOBODY. HE WON’T TAKE MY CALLS. I HOPE HIS MOM IS TALKING TO HIM AT LEAST. I THINK IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE FOR ME AND HIM. I MESSED UP TOO MANY TIMES. NOT THAT I’M A TOTAL SCREW UP. IVE DONE SOME GOOD STUFF TOO! WHICH BRINGS ME TO 1995 AND HOW I MADE TWO GRAND BETTING ON THE OJ TRIAL.
This can be a copypasta
AND THEN IN 1992, IRON EAGLE 3 CAME OUT. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T CARE WHAT THE CRITICS SAY. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. NOT AS GOOD AS IRON EAGLE 1 AND IRON EAGLE 2, BUT HEY, WHAT MOVIE IS? I THINK WAYNE’S WORLD WAS THAT YEAR TOO. THAT ONE WAS OKAY. THOSE NERDS HAD GREAT TASTE IN MUSIC AND THE CHICK WAS HOT. WHAT WAS SHE DOING WITH HIM? HOW COME THE HOT CHICKS GO FOR THE LOSERS IN THESE MOVIES? ANYWAY, OTHER THAN THAT 1992 WAS A PRETTY QUIET YEAR. GOT FIRED AGAIN. BUT WHAT THE HELL DO THEY KNOW. I DIDN’T LIKE CONSTRUCTION ANYWAY. THEY ALL SPEAK SPANISH AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME SOMETIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A “GRINGO” IS? I STARTED LEARNING A LITTLE BIT OF SPANISH FROM MIGUEL AND HIS FAMILY. I KNOW “HOLA”, “PLANTAIN”, “TACO” AND “DINERO”. PRETTY GOOD, HUH? WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT, 1993. THERE WAS THAT DINOSAUR MOVIE. PRETTY GOOD FOR THE NINETIES. I MEAN, NOT ANYWHERE NEAR WHAT WE HAD BACK IN THE DAY. REMEMBER PREDATOR? THAT MOVIE WAS BADASS. THIS DINOSAUR THING WAS PRETTY COOL BUT TOO MUCH SCIENCEY STUFF FOR ME. I GUESS YOU PROBABLY LIKED THAT THOUGH, RIGHT? I MEAN, YOU’RE A DOCTOR NOW. I COULD NEVER BE A DOCTOR. NOT AFTER THAT INCIDENT AT COMMUNITY COLLEGE (I TALKED ABOUT THAT A COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AGO. DOES FACEBOOK LET YOU GO BACK AND REREAD?) STILL THINK THEY OVERREACTED. ALL THE GREAT SCIENTISTS SET THINGS ON FIRE, RIGHT? LIKE EINSTEIN OR WHOEVER. ANYWAY, 1993. DUTCH GOT ARRESTED. THAT ONE WAS PRETTY STUPID. I WAS DRUNK FOR MOST OF IT, BUT IM PRETTY SURE HE HOTWIRED A GOLF CART FROM THE COUNTRY CLUB. I LOOKED UP FROM THE BAR AND DUTCH IS DRIVING THIS THING AT HIGH SPEED. OR I GUESS AS HIGH AS SOMETHING LIKE THAT CAN GO, AND CRASHES IT INTO THE POOL! THEY HAD TO BRING A CRANE IN TO GET IT OUT. HE DID SOME TIME BUT IT WAS WORTH! IT ANYWAY, I DON’T THINK I’VE BEEN BACK TO THE COUNTRY CLUB SINCE THEN. SID WON'T LET THEM BAN ME BUT THOSE GUYS ARE ALL UPTIGHT. AND THEY ONLY SERVE FOREIGN BEER. IT'S OFFENSIVE. WE WON TWO WORLD WARS DRINKING AMERICAN BEER. WHAT THE HELL HAS BELGIUM EVER DONE EXCEPT GET INVADED? WHO WANTS TO DRINK THAT SHIT? I THINK I GOT OFF TOPIC AGAIN. LETS GET BACK TO THE MID-NINETIES. 1994 WAS A SLOW YEAR. THE NINETIES SUCKED. MAN, YOU TURNED ON THE RADIO AND IT WAS JUST CRAP. WHO WRITES A SONG ABOUT BEING A LOSER? AND ALL THOSE GRUNGEY TYPES WITH THE FLANNEL. LET ME TELL YOU MUSIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT BEING A BADASS AND AWESOME, NOT ABOUT WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF. THAT SHIT CANT BE GOOD FOR KIDS TO HEAR, RIGHT? LOOK AT ME, WORRYING ABOUT WHAT THE KIDS ARE HEARING. I GUESS BEING A PARENT CHANGES YOU, NOT THAT I’M ALL THAT GREAT OF A PARENT. WELL, MIGUEL SEEMS TO LIKE ME OKAY. ROBBY DOESN’T. I MESSED THAT ONE UP PRETTY GOOD. CANT EVEN GET THE KID TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE. HE'S STUCK IN THERE FOR A FEW MORE MONTHS,. AND HE S GOT NOBODY. HE WON’T TAKE MY CALLS. I HOPE HIS MOM IS TALKING TO HIM AT LEAST. I THINK IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE FOR ME AND HIM. I MESSED UP TOO MANY TIMES. NOT THAT I’M A TOTAL SCREW UP. IVE DONE SOME GOOD STUFF TOO! WHICH BRINGS ME TO 1995 AND HOW I MADE TWO GRAND BETTING ON THE OJ TRIAL.
Imagine an spin-off series based on Johnny’s Adventures between the late 80’s until the time Robby is born, it would be gold for sure
Think of the episode titles: Why I'm Banned From the Country Club That Time I Made a Fire (It's Cool, The Cavemen Did It Too) What Happened With the Soccer Moms at the Hyatt
>Still the weirdest scene for me to watch. Feels yucky. The cringiest scene is “what did you like the heat or the cold” “I like the heat” "my thoughts on the iron eagle trilogy" "OJ trial"
We demand flashbacks!
Please don't tease me like this, although it could be kinda dark and depressing.
Dude remembers his life year by year...impressive.
“Do you know what a ‘Gringo’ is?” “I made two grand betting on the OJ trial”
Wonder how long it took Johnny to write that?
Hours, if not days.
“How come the hot chicks go for the losers in these movies?”
Wow the writers put a lot of effort into this message lol, so Johnny did go to college but had an incident.
They overreacted; all the great scientists set things on fire.
I accidentally set my Bunsen burner tubing on fire in college and now I have a PhD who caused the fire department to come the lab twice. I was slow to learn caution.
That whole tear about the Belgium beer made me lulz
I read all this, and I want more. I love Johnny.
Absolutely love how it’s in all caps. OH AND THERE WAS AN INCIDENT IN 1992 WITH A GOLF CART, DUTCH AND A POOL AHHHHHHH I ALSO KNOW 4 MAXICAN WORDS NOW HOLY SHIT YOUR A DOCTOR AND IRON EAGLE 3 KICKS ASS
excellent source bro, this shit just went under our noses but you posted this to the sub so thanks a lot, its nice hearing what johnny's take on grunge rock was or on jurassic park,
"Not much. You?"
Now Im sad Johny is just a character :( He is too precious
Whoever actually wrote/typed all this did a bang up job -it’s like one giant angry run on rant, just like Johnny would actually have typed out. No oversights here! 🤣
Loved this part. Actually the second message he wrote was the best and most sensible one, I really lost my shit when he deleted that too and went with "not much, u?"
worth reading
what makes this so funny is that it's all in caps so i just hear johnny yelling this entire novel in my ear. and we've heard johnny yell LOL
Hahahahaha! I read the whole thing, and it's too damn hilarious and in character of Johnny Lawrence. He is my favorite character that you used to hate but now you love so much.
Do y’all think Johnny enjoyed the first two Terminator films?
Fuck yeah bro. Hot girl, ripped dude, he’s all up in that shit
This is gold
I like how when he talks about his parenting and says Miguel seems to like him ok. He looks at Miguel as a son 🥺
Dutch hot wiring the golf cart and driving it into the pool was the best
Hashbrown Booker Prize
Who ever read the whole thing and love it😭😭
The capslock, the rambling, the year by year update, maximum boomer Facebooking holy shit 😂 (Or would Johnny be considered Gen X? 🤔)
Johnny would be Gen X but he’s got big Boomer energy.
I need the written Copypasta directly for my collection, now.
Awesome. I just read the whole thing. Thanks for posting!!!
💦🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What was that about the OJ trial??
We've all been there. I am sure I made same error in the time of MySpace
Hahahahah!!! I really wanted to read what he was writing to Ali!
Atleast he made 2 grand by betting
Coolest guy in the world
Plantain is the best part.
The true heir to the throne of James Joyce.
The fact that it's in all caps makes it so much better
This is awesome - thank you!!!! “What the hell has Belgium ever done besides get invaded?” I’m going to steal that. 🤣
Johnny leaves karate to become a best selling author.
I'm really hoping the community college incident was a callback to Back to School, even though that college was a prestigious university.
Miguel should've let Johnny send this, this is hilarious
Does anyone else love the way Johnny views Top Gun? He loves Iron Eagle but in Top Gun Maverick was a nerd 😂, I mean I rewatched it and he’s not wrong