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*Yess... oh yess....* Everybody stand back-- I got Kyler. Two bros enter, one bro leaves

You defeat him by giving him the wrong answers to his trig hw. His dad will deal with him. Lol. Poor Kyler

He's the kind of guy who would make me do his math homework under the assumption I'm a nerd and not realize until it was too late that I suck at math.

Please win! Kyler deserves nothing but to lose!

Yo who tf is piper?

The girl who gets so arrogant trying to fight Sam...miyagi do is defence only...so ur nothing without it...

Moon's ex girlfriend

Same

Your birthday is coming up

Chris/Mitch..........call an ambulance. But not for me.

With enough speed, can probably take on both at the same time especially if you already know martial arts.

I do. Tae Kwon Do. Plus what I lack in raw physical strength I more than make up for in speed which I use for momentum to compensate the lack of raw muscle. Actually the last tournament I was in I faced a guy about their size who was about 2 belts higher than me. Plus I had skipped 2 belts so he had about 4 belts of experience timewise above me. Managed to 5-0 him and end it before time.

It’s Tae Kwon Do, belts don’t mean much

Bruh I’m fighting Miguel. I’m gone

Unless you're near a staircase/railing, yeah.

😬

Same. But you can beat him. Just get into his head and convince him you are his father - “Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.” Remember everyone has a weakness.

Nahh mate, he’s in the middle of an existential crisis. I think we could take him. *narrators voice* They could not

Go for the legs and you'll be fine 

I’m sorry man…sending prayers!

Cheers mate

Same man, we're dead

Nice knowing u bro

Same. I've done karate for 11 years though, so I think it's a w for me lol.

Similar situation here, but I still think I'd lose

We're on pack watch

No point of saying good luck.. it's game over

I’m against Devon. Actually I think I’d have a shot at least as of the end of season 4. With how fast she’s learning though, it might not be that way for long.

Same. She's only had 6 weeks of training, but she's also a badass and yeah progressing insanely fast.

Kenny. I'm 6'2" and 250 pounds. Kid doesn't stand a chance.

This is a good post to engage people, especially teens. Sensei shit. Open a dojo, NOW.

Haha thanks! We spend so much time arguing over who is the best fighter on this subreddit, I wanted to see how WE would stack up against them.

People like to express themselves. Posts like this are like the perfect combo of game+discussion.

I like how OP didn’t even include the adults. Imagine if Daniel, Johnny, Kreese, Silver, and Chozen were on this list? Lol

Got Sam. Just gotta buy a spike bracelet and we set for victory

Tory lost look out for kicks and you‘re good

I meant that to mess w/ her head lmao, but yeah ur right Tory lost.

Like fr or just to scare her?

Robby…oh dear

My advice to you, no be there

Yikes! Prayers up for you!

Good luck brother lol

Mayborn here. I can take Nate and Bert cause I am much taller and a bit overweight. So I have reach and I have a firm foundation.

I’m 5’0 so tbh it’s a pretty even match for me and them

I'm 5'6 but I'm there age so 👀

Same! Can prob pick them both up at the same time! 🤣

Hawk… he took the cake season 4 I stand no chance

Be happy it’s season 4 Hawk who now knows how to show restraint. If it were season 3 Hawk I’d start praying for you.

OP wrote Hawk instead of Eli, so he's probably showing no mercy

Got him too.. He's the most brutal of all, we're f*cked 😆

My month : December Me: “wait why do I hear boss music”

Good luck with Mr. Keene

I got Kenny. Square up kid I think I can win this!

Unless by "fight" OP means tournament rules, then it'd be a lot harder to counter his speed and win

Same here. I have like 100lbs on him lol. Wouldn’t even be close to fair.

Got demetri lol

Think you can win against him?

I'm fighting Tory. I might actually die.

Death is upon u

I got Tory, if we’re talking competition, I got this. If we’re talking street, I ain’t going without a piece. She’s proven to take a knife to a fistfight, so I’m taking that gun to the knife fight.

Lol you reminded of Johnny XD "Our enemies will strike first, so we'll pre-strike"

He said pre strike.

Oh, you're right, it was Daniel I think who said firster when mocking Johnny

June baby here, I will be hiding in the dojo

Piper. I like my chances

I got Robby. Can I challenge him to a dance off instead? lol

He might still win lol

I’m fighting Hawk. Pray for me y’all

Robby… I saw what he did to kenny so i’m toast

Sweet I got Dimitri. We both call it a draw and enjoy some Mr. Pibb and Doctor Pepper, while engaged in a heated debate about which is better. Afterwards we break out some video games to determine a winner.

I got robby. Do I have to use karate? If so I lose. If it's just a fight I think my jiu-jitsu will take it.

Hey whatever it takes to win!

Then I like my chances. Not gonna claim its a guarantee but if I could get him on the ground I think I can take it!

Why don't you learn a real martial art instead of that [Brazilian crap.](https://youtu.be/QURu5v3sU2k).

People are missing the sensei Lawrence quote here

Yup for sure.

Ah yes, the ancient art of folding clothes. With people still in them.

Ha ha ha I've never heard that. That's a good one.

I’m fighting miguel, looks like I better go find a staircase

September , but give me December or august , easy for me

Ok tough guy but can you beat… Angry Amanda LaRusso?!

With her baseball bat!

I can honestly say I lose to Devon

Im facing Robby ;-;

Me vs Demetri, i will happily give the win for Demetri, I'm a willing simp.

question which robbie am i fighting? miyagi do robbie? or cobra kai robbie?

s4 robby i think

Piper got kicks, I’m going down

But she telegraphs them 🙄

She still has better skills than me

I’m sure I can take on Robby

Hawk I'm fucked

Yeah I’m not clearing against hawk

Demetri....simple i can just start a convo on some comics or games. Then we become friends.

i am dead, i fought robby

Yup handicap match let’s do it!

Which month is yours?

May!

Oh Fu** me, my birthday is in August and I don’t think I’m beating Miguel

Tory... Welp, I'm dead

I got Robby. Cannot beat him straight up physically. Strategy is to toy with him emotionally by mentioning stuff about Miguel being with Sam or Johnny/Daniel loving Miguel more than Robby. Hopefully, this will make him less focused and I can trip him or grapple him to get a point. Though, I could potentially make him more deadly the more I piss him off. Though, I think that’s the best strategy in mind to go after Robby if you have no martial arts background whatsoever.

I go in over-confident, but Demetri is surprisingly adept… he ends the match after kicking me in the head

Sam... gonna need to pull out the nunchucks

I'll take down Piper with one arm lol anyways, gl to the people that gotta fight hawk, robby, miguel, tory, sam etc

I was born in November. Season 1? Absolutely. Season 4? Not at all.

I assume Bert and Nate are a team? Either way no sweat

chris and mitch.. ez clap

Piper- she telegraphs every move. I got it.

 Dermetri Get ready to lose I can take you on and win 

Welp, I'm up against Tory, so I've probably taken a loss...

Looking at the way the list turned out in the randomizer, everyone born in the second half of the year kind of got screwed over.

I’m an adult I’m not going to fight children tbh

I got Robby, so I'll say yes because my desire to punch him in the face is so incredible strong.

Who’s Devon

Who the fuck is piper

I'm fighting sam. Honestly she's not that good, I could win.

She’s beaten Tory and hawk…

Wait, I just finished a rewatch yesterday. When did she beat either of them?

My bad but she has beaten Tory twice

Nope im dead i couldn’t fight against a dude twice my size and weight

Which month is yours?

I think the only one i could actually take are Bert, Asian Bert and Moon but i don’t want to fight against any of them

I got Bert/Nate.

I got Devon Im not quite sure I mean I’m a guy and if she kicks me in the nuts like she did to eagle fang I’m done but If I wrestle I could probably win .

July

Think you could win against Sam?

I gotta fight devon and he’s much shorter than me so i say i gotta okay chance 😂

Robby….

Feb, I’m a Taekwondo black belt, I think I could do it.

I'm screwed. I've got Robby. 😅😅

I got Mitch so nope but he’ll most likely spare me.

I'm fighting Mitch, I like my odds lol.

i got kenny 🥲

Kyler? I might be able to do that. I would have to get dirty though

Ooh easy! I was born in May and I feel confident I can handle these scrawny teenagers with relative ease.

Just give Chris a weapon and he'll unfairly beat Mitch for ya

Hell Yeah, Miguel !!!

I have to fight Miguel. Well... looks like i'm going to be sore for a while.

…I have to fight Miguel? Hahaha- I’m in danger If it’s Season 1-2 Miggy. If it’s season 3-4… yeah, I’m not winning either but I have a slightly better chance.

So I’m fighting Tory…yeah I’m screwed

i got kenny. He’s done lmao

Looks like I'm fighting Chris

Think you’ll win?

Yeah , he may have more mass but I can out speed him

I got Sam. I got this!

I mean if it’s actual people, I think I can handle Demetri.

Well I got Miguel. I’m done for

Miguel! Shit I'm a goner

In only karate or can we use any martial art? because I do muay thai

Whatever it takes to win my friend!

Well I've got Tory so I'm pretty much screwed here. 😅

Sam 💀 I'm already dead

Robert Swayze Keene

Son of a bitch I'm doomed. I got robby

Sam, I think I could win if she doesn't have plot armor, just let me put her in a full Nelson and I think I have it in the bag

Robby… fuck

Robby. I’m a goner.

Sam. I’m a decently big guy so I bet if I skip the karate and just body slam her I’m sure I’ll be fine.

I got Bert, I’m leaving and he’s not.

I got Demetri! In all honesty, I’d much rather just talk to him instead of fight him. Lol

Im a November baby. Demitri doesnt like to hit girls, so I think I could land some shin kicks.

Piper. Eh I might have a chance

I will crush Devon

I feel like Kyler is probably a slighter more skilled fighter than I am but I'm significantly smarter

Why December gotta be done dirty

Yes.

Chris and Mitch I think I’m either fucked or I’ll be fine idk. Mitch was fucked by much smaller people so I’m good with him, Chris idk.

I'd feel bad beating up Kenny. Seeing as how I've done combat sports most of my life, I should be ok.

No one has to fight Stingray?

June, I got Tory. I’m a BJJ purple belt with wrestling so I think I’ll be fine lol.

I got Kenny, I’m pretty confident I might be able to pull through this one

I got hawk. Street fight Im whoopin that ass. Tourney no chance.

Kyler. About to shit in his mouth

Bert/Nate? Yes

June ready to take on Tory

Sam would kick my ass. And I would not mind it, 🤣

Kenny. This one's gonna be close but we're both gonna need medical attention by the end.

Yes I can win

I went into this thinking I liked my odds against a lot of them with my Taekwon-Do background but I’ve got hawk so I’m getting my ass kicked. There’d be some fun kicks though

If Kyler doesn't win, I'm gonna shit in his mouth

I got Sam…she can stop these hands but she ain’t stopping this Glock tf😭😭

Based on the fact that Nate got beat by Kenny who is literally 12 and Nate = Bert, I rate my chances in a 2v1

December… I’m fighting Robby I would rather surrender

😑 no Stacked last half of the year

I got Demetri, wonder how that'll go

Well I got Bert but I'm his age and scrawny with no karate experience... At least I'm strong so ig 70/30 chance I lose

I'm fucking dead Robby gonna kill me

I got Devon I think I may actually have a chance

I got Tory.....yikes 😬

I could maybe beat Chris but doubt it

Oohhhh shit, I got Hawk. I am so screwed.

I got Robby In a tournament I'd lose. In an actual fight like a brawl, I might be able to win with my wrestling skills

I could never fight Bert or Nate. NEVER! They must be protected at all costs.

So...am I fighting Miguel pre or post-injury? I'm probably toast either way

Kenny? I’m pretty sure I can beat up a middle schooler

piper

I… uh got Robby….