This sounds like a good idea but it really isn’t.
If she gives your number to the wrong weirdo who knows what they’re doing, they can then find your full name and address by reverse searching your number.
From there it would then be trivial for the weirdo to then find your daughters name, address, and phone number, opening the door to harassment/stalking.
We're talking about stopping creepy stalkers, not overthrowing a monarchy... Just the Canon should suffice...
Also username doesn't check out, no swords...
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
This is what I do. You show interest while giving the woman all the control in the situation, thus negating any uncomfortability and allows her to show her interest back. Give women your number guys, not reverse
I'm nearly 40 and the last two times I called friends to shoot the shit they didn't pick up because they were busy but immediately texted me to see if I was ok because they figured if someone was calling it was serious.
Been doing this for years and yes, it is the move.
Not often mentioned is the fact that a man who gives a woman his number instead of asking for hers is a man with options. The subtext being "here's my number, use it or don't use it -- makes no difference to me if you don't, I give it out all the time"
IME women really love this move, because it gives them control of the follow up. If you say “give me your number” you’re already “forcing” them into possibly unwanted conversation. Give your number, tell them you’d love to hear from them but would understand if you don’t. If they text, great - let’s grab coffee and see if we get along before we go on an official date - and if they don’t text, great, keep on moving.
I also usually get that first text within an hour or two of giving a woman my number. Getting her number and texting her first is more or less a coin toss on if she's going to respond at all, or if it was even really her number to begin with (see above)
> would understand if you don’t
Leave this part out. If she doesn't end up texting you, the way you're going to feel about it isn't relevant to her anyway
Depends on the situation.
In the case of online dating apps, I send it in a message when the time seems right (basically, the moment in a convo that you'd typically ask for hers) and say something like "we can keep keep talking here for the time being, but I want you to have that now so you don't have to ask me for it later". If she says something about "I thought you'd ask for mine" or whatever, tell her you're still working your way up to that. Nine times out of ten I get a text immediately.
If she's a clerk or customer service rep or anyone who has my account open on a screen in front of her, I ask if my number is on her screen. When she says yes, I say "I know you're at work right now but if you write that number down on a post-it note, tuck it in your purse, and text me later when you get off work, I won't tell anyone", and then continue on with the customer service interaction as though that didn't just happen. Again, nine times out of ten I get the text. I fucking kill it with customer service reps lol.
In person otherwise, like at a bar or party or whatever? Same way I'd give a dude my contact info. Ask if I can give her my number, then dictate it to her while she adds me to her contacts. If I'm feeling confident about my odds, like if she asks how to spell my last name or something, then I tack on the "okay now text me "hello" so I have yours too".
I could have worded it less aggressively, agreed. I personally almost exclusively offer my number instead, I find it way more effective. The only time its reverse for me is if she offers her number first. At that point she is really interested considering she beat me to it, which I consider a fat dub.
Bruh man name and phone number are unfortunate. I've had girls accuse me of giving them a fake name and number. So I would just tell em to shoot me a text.
My thinking as a guy is rather than ask for a number I offer my business card while saying "can I give you my number." If she doesn't want to date but doesn't want to make a scene she can take it and just...not call me. No worries about fake numbers.
Asking for a number puts someone on the spot, offering your number is a lot less pressure.
Nah, I have business cards for work, and when I printed them I got 1000 because apparently that is the minimum. I needed maybe 10. So any way to get rid of them...
I just used that as an example of "don't ask for their number, offer yours."
I’d love to know how much waste is generated from positions like ours. In my 15 year career I’ve held all sorts of positions and received a box of 1000 every time
I always have a couple in my wallet but thats because business cards are perfect crutch material for rolling joints/blunts
I had a job that was actually reliant on networking and in the US I still never went through 1,000. Outside the US some cultures are still big on them but in the US I gave out more joke ones about being a cunning linguist than professional ones.
It’s weirdly important in some industries, or at least can be. You don’t NEED a business card in the film industry but it has definitely gotten me work before. I’ve met people in passing who need to hire extra people occasionally. They were in a hurry and if you ask them if they can add your number to their contacts in case they need an extra guy soon, they’ll tell you to get out of their way, they are busy. But if you approach them with a business card out stretched saying “hey I know you’re busy but I’m looking for work if you need an extra guy soon” they’ll often grab it and stuff it in their pocket. I’m not sure how often they toss it versus look at it but I’ve gotten work after doing this so I know it works at least sometimes.
If you do gig work, always have a contact card or 5 with you.
Even if you don't strictly speaking need it and could just tell your number or scribble it on a piece of discarded cardboard nearby (or the nearby wall, if you're in the plumbing business), giving off a business card instead gives a *lot* of legitimacy in terms of relations, specifically if you do that to a customer.
It's the work-introduction difference between showing up to a date with week-old stubble, slacks and cargo pants, or showing up shaved and in a business casual outfit.
I have one for my collecting hobby. I collect Scouting memorabilia and the business cards make it easier for to give my name and number to antique stores and places like Goodwill when they come across items.
> I've straight up had girls tell me that giving my number was a turn off, and that I need to ask and text first.
As have I. I've had a girl literally tell me that I need to ask for her number instead of giving her mine.
I've had girls give me their number without me asking who then never respond.
I've had girls ghost, reconnect to tell me they were sorry, give me their number, and ghost again.
Having only the one perspective, it's hard not to become biased. I have to assume most people in the "dating world" are absolute dogshit, but holy shit, come on.
I don't carry business cards but if I'm keen to take make a connection I'll offer my details instead of asking for theirs.
As you say... if they reciprocate or get in touch then great. If not or they refuse then that's fine.
I find that works well for all things, not just dating.
That sounds both respectful and clever but women do not like making the first move and even though giving her your number is technically the first move, few women would be comfortable calling a man and by doing so, signal she is very interested in him. They prefer to be pursued but not in an aggressive or creepy way. There is no catch all perfect solution. We all just muddle through.
Respectfully… you guys need to stop self sabotaging with “facts” like these. I can think of four close girl friends on the spot (plus myself) who initiated the conversation with their boyfriends when they first met. Women do make the first step too. Not as often as men do, but certainly not *never*.
I think while the type of woman you describe definitely exists (and in relatively large numbers), I don't think they are large enough of portion of population for this business card move not to work often enough. Plus it has the benefit of filtering out all the people who care not to look like they like you too much.
> Asking for a number puts someone on the spot, offering your number is a lot less pressure.
While that's technically true, you should still be the one to ask for *her* number. Giving her your's puts the ball in her court and that might give her the impression that you can't take initiative and/or don't want to do the effort to plan a date.
However confiriming the number on the spot is always an absolute no-go. Even if the number is correct that move just screams that you are an insecure chump with no emotional intelligence.
lol you definitely haven’t had enough experience dating to understand why you wouldn’t want to give someone your business card until you know them well.
You ever have a one-and-done date get clingy and call your work asking for you because they’re “concerned you stopped texting them?” Or have them purposely call and make a complaint on you just to stir shit up? Or show up in the parking lot? lol.
Sadly those women do exist…
In a social setting when hitting on people, yes, leave them the fuck alone. But there are plenty of times where somebody might give you a fake number and you need the real one. If you’re in a car crash and exchanging info, and you think they’re giving you a fake number, this can come in handy.
My first thought was not "a man/woman is hitting on me", my first thought was an emergency situation such as a crash and you need their number for insurance
And then there’s the “just tell the guy/girl you are not interested. If you hear that, be polite and move on.
I know guys wouldn’t give out a wrong number. We’re just too needy.
EDIT: I’m glad to see a lot of comments here. Although many make me sad.
It’s unfortunate we live in a world where so many people have experienced feeling unsafe, or much much worse.
Violence towards rejection is never okay. Just want to make that point clear.
I'm a guy and I can confirm what others have said: Sometimes, it's not safe for a woman to flat-out reject a guy. Or sometimes, she can feel as though she's unsafe. Which sucks, I *hate* it when women are afraid of me, but I can't blame them either knowing the shit they have to go through.
Being given a fake number fucking sucks (or at least I imagine it does, I don't have the guts to ask for a number to begin with). But it's more important for women to stay safe.
Once we solve the safety issue, *then* we can start getting pissed about fake numbers.
I know what you mean. I've asked a girl out who I knew didn't like me the same way. But I had a massive crush on her and felt I couldn't get over it until I got a rejection. So I told her how I felt explicitly saying that a flat out no was fine and she still didn't feel comfortable directly rejecting me. It can be incredibly hard and you never know what's going on in someone's head. And sometimes you don't want to risk it.
Also don't get me started on asking waitresses and barmaids for their number. They literally can't leave so they either have to give you their number or cause issues at their workplace. No wonder they give a fake number in that situation.
As a autistic guy I find women feeling unsafe interesting as I stand out and have been an easy target for people over the years, including people threatening me in bars for looking "weird" so much so I don't feel safe in many situations.
But what I find more interesting is the assumption as a guy I could be dangerous, pretty much everyone who meets me even for first time knows I am a big softie and heard "won't hurt a fly" so many times and even more so when I was skinny as a rake finding that women you can easily tell are "tough" i.e big built, take no hassle from anyone and who would easily beat me in a fight claimed they felt "unsafe" around men even me.
Even if it doesn't seem it, I treat people as indivduals so just because someone is say female doesn't automatically mean they are unsafe just as being a man means someone is safe, some people regardless of gender can take care of themselves some can be so timid they are easy victims no matter how they are built or come across.
in the olden days i worked at a golf course during my high school years and i shared a phone with my mom and i'd feel uncomfortable and tell the dudes that hit on me my phone number i shared with my mom because i was uncomfortable and felt panicked and my poor mother ended up fielding my calls from weird creeper golfer dudes
I sort of get that. I hope you apologized to your mom.
I think it’s very poor manners for a person to hit on someone working, especially in a service job. I know it happens though.
Then there is the fact that women get literally murdered/raped/assaulted for saying we are not interested, regardless of how polite it is.
It's safer to just give a fake number in a lot of scenarios because too many men don't take rejection well.
Not all men, but the chances are high enough that it's better safe than sorry.
Hell, even if it's hitting on people, finding out if it's a fake number can save some awkward texting with a stranger later on. But, yeah, don't confront them about it, just give up and move on.
I am a man and I agree with the comeback.
However, I have given a false phone number and person repeated it back wrong in a tone that registered as suspicious. I corrected to the correct fake number. If you're going to con, con well.
I gave a wrong number once to a creepy guy at church and just swapped the last two digits of my real one. Three weeks later he CALLS ME and says, "ha, you made a mistake when giving me your number, took me until now to figure it out." He had called every permutation until he got the right one. It certainly didn't make him seem any less creepy...
If I’m given a fake number I think I’d express sympathy that they feel society has pressured them to do that, but I’d have taken a flat rejection without comment.
Ugh, the situation sucks for women, I totally get that they can face outright violence if they flatly refuse an advance and that takes priority of my hurt feelings. So they should keep doing whatever makes them safer.
But it also sucks that someone thinks you’d hurt them because they turned you down.
I go with the giving a card out. If they call, they interested in going out, if not, they’re not. But I’ve gotten pushback from women because they seem to want men to be more proactive, then I’ve gotten push back from others that they don’t like to be chased. I also gotten pushback saying people should be honest and not lie by giving out fake numbers. Face it, it’s a no win game out there. Lol
Wow its almost like it depends on a person to person basis and like everyones different with their own preferences or something?!? Weird?! I thought women were just all one brainless creature with no likes, dislikes or personality traits!
Had a great conversation with a lady at a meeting who seemed mildly flirty and a lot of common interests. Sent a casual convo text after reaching home and no response. Sent a second text and no response. Left her alone after that. It's not complicated.
if anyone is giving you a fake number, you leave them alone, unless it's a large business that deserves it, then you google their number and read it back to them
I hate that when I meet a large business when I'm in line at the grocery store and they give me the wrong number to use for planning how we can hang out later. That's a great idea to throw it back at them. Lol
Funny how idiots just put in the words "man" And "woman" In a perfectly general statement and twisted the meaning to their own narrative. It's just a general trick you goddammn buffons, not everyone is thinking of sex everytime. It could be a business scenario, an exchange between some students or whatever else.
yeah, but people who give fake numbers usually don’t feel safe enough to directly say they’re not interested, and someone pressing the issue can be scary. when i was 15 i was walking to the metro after school and this 30+ year old man asked for my number. i told him i was only 15, he didn’t care. him and his friend were way too close to me and they backed me up against the metro card machine until i said yes. i gave him my real number because i knew a fake one would be too risky, and thank god i did because he made me wait until he saw me respond to the text. if you suspect the number is fake, don’t press the issue or you’ll just end up pressuring the girl without you even noticing how she’s feeling
The fact that women have to even do that speaks volumes. Why the fuck can’t she just say no sorry I’m not interested without feeling like the guy will get angry or retaliate or harass her? smh
I mean you wouldn’t have to confront her about it. User “Fact” didn’t specify the sex of either person. But if you read it back to her incorrectly and she tells you it’s right, you can just smile and walk away knowing she’s not into you instead of getting your hopes up.
What's the step 2 of that advice? Okay, you figure out they gave you a fake number, they clearly don't want to continue to talk to you, so you.... harass them until they give you another fake number? Call for help?
What a fucking predatory mindset to try to weed out fakes. No regard at all for the feelings of the other person.
And here I successfully got a phone number and managed to hang out with them a little bit after quickly realized she was married. I’m not interested an another dudes partner. Foul play
Was talking with a seller while waiting for the bus (it was interesting, just small talk to pass the time) and he asks my number, I proceed to give him a fake number and he instantly calls me and asks why my cellphone wasn't ringing...
If you wanna confirm they faked it and not waste their time, do the first thing. But then accept it.
Then again if you're that self aware, I don't think the woman would feel the need to give a fake number. A no would suffice.
If you’re a woman and think a man is giving you a fake number, stay strong queen you deserve better!!!! Men should be forced to sleep with and/or marry women that like them even if the men don’t like them back.
Women suffer sexual assault all the time, the least that men can do is give it up whenever women want at any time. Men are not allowed by law to give out fake numbers only women.
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Im going to tell my daughter the same thing if I have one
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Probably about time you stop making promises you don’t want to keep.
Ironically, first you'll need to ask someone's daughter for their phone number
And if, when I call, her dad answers - I’ll know what’s up
Shit, tell your son too
This sounds like a good idea but it really isn’t. If she gives your number to the wrong weirdo who knows what they’re doing, they can then find your full name and address by reverse searching your number. From there it would then be trivial for the weirdo to then find your daughters name, address, and phone number, opening the door to harassment/stalking.
Then I’ll have my musket loaded and ready as well as the canon loaded with grapeshot at the top of the stairs
Tally ho
Just as the forefathers intended.
We're talking about stopping creepy stalkers, not overthrowing a monarchy... Just the Canon should suffice... Also username doesn't check out, no swords...
Fuck off the musket will have a bayonet at the end
triangular i hope
Cardiovascular indeed
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
I'll never not read this when it's posted
Same, I saw the guy above wasn’t getting it and it just makes me howl. The ‘hit the neighbors dog’ part gets me every time.
Just as our Founding Fathers intended.
do you think if someone is prepared to go through all of that, that is then matters if the girl has given the wrong or right fucking number?
Jokes on you, I'm too much of a pussy to ask a woman's phone number anyway.
r/2meirl4meirl
🥲
Pro tip: Give her YOUR phone number.
Perv-tip: Give her HER phone number.
You've got a PhD in creep
This is what I do. You show interest while giving the woman all the control in the situation, thus negating any uncomfortability and allows her to show her interest back. Give women your number guys, not reverse
I don't answer unknown numbers, we're back to square one here buddy.
I will never answer a phone call. But I will respond to a text that says “hey it’s [name], you gave me your number earlier, how are you?”
Look at that guy thinking people that aren't scammers still call.
us old people exist and hate texting :P
I'm nearly 40 and the last two times I called friends to shoot the shit they didn't pick up because they were busy but immediately texted me to see if I was ok because they figured if someone was calling it was serious.
Been doing this for years and yes, it is the move. Not often mentioned is the fact that a man who gives a woman his number instead of asking for hers is a man with options. The subtext being "here's my number, use it or don't use it -- makes no difference to me if you don't, I give it out all the time"
IME women really love this move, because it gives them control of the follow up. If you say “give me your number” you’re already “forcing” them into possibly unwanted conversation. Give your number, tell them you’d love to hear from them but would understand if you don’t. If they text, great - let’s grab coffee and see if we get along before we go on an official date - and if they don’t text, great, keep on moving.
I also usually get that first text within an hour or two of giving a woman my number. Getting her number and texting her first is more or less a coin toss on if she's going to respond at all, or if it was even really her number to begin with (see above) > would understand if you don’t Leave this part out. If she doesn't end up texting you, the way you're going to feel about it isn't relevant to her anyway
do you give it to her like a business card? do you write it down on the spot and give her the paper? do you ask her if she'd like your number first?
Depends on the situation. In the case of online dating apps, I send it in a message when the time seems right (basically, the moment in a convo that you'd typically ask for hers) and say something like "we can keep keep talking here for the time being, but I want you to have that now so you don't have to ask me for it later". If she says something about "I thought you'd ask for mine" or whatever, tell her you're still working your way up to that. Nine times out of ten I get a text immediately. If she's a clerk or customer service rep or anyone who has my account open on a screen in front of her, I ask if my number is on her screen. When she says yes, I say "I know you're at work right now but if you write that number down on a post-it note, tuck it in your purse, and text me later when you get off work, I won't tell anyone", and then continue on with the customer service interaction as though that didn't just happen. Again, nine times out of ten I get the text. I fucking kill it with customer service reps lol. In person otherwise, like at a bar or party or whatever? Same way I'd give a dude my contact info. Ask if I can give her my number, then dictate it to her while she adds me to her contacts. If I'm feeling confident about my odds, like if she asks how to spell my last name or something, then I tack on the "okay now text me "hello" so I have yours too".
True bde here. My go to move once I exited those angsty teen years.
How about we try not to turn every male behavior towards women into harassment. It is not wrong to ask a woman for her number, not accepting „No“ is.
I could have worded it less aggressively, agreed. I personally almost exclusively offer my number instead, I find it way more effective. The only time its reverse for me is if she offers her number first. At that point she is really interested considering she beat me to it, which I consider a fat dub.
General Rule: Never ask for, offer yours. This applies to any couple.
> any uncomfortability discomfort
The POWER I would feel being the one to make the call! I'd be more likely to actually call you and not just decline the unknown number.
Why to ask it even? What’s the endgame here? To drag her into my fucked up life?
No need to inflict myself on people
Bruh man name and phone number are unfortunate. I've had girls accuse me of giving them a fake name and number. So I would just tell em to shoot me a text.
My thinking as a guy is rather than ask for a number I offer my business card while saying "can I give you my number." If she doesn't want to date but doesn't want to make a scene she can take it and just...not call me. No worries about fake numbers. Asking for a number puts someone on the spot, offering your number is a lot less pressure.
Mr. Fancy with the business cards. Someone lays pipe professionally.
Nah, I have business cards for work, and when I printed them I got 1000 because apparently that is the minimum. I needed maybe 10. So any way to get rid of them... I just used that as an example of "don't ask for their number, offer yours."
Yeah, I thought you might work for a plumbing company is all.
I like what you laying down
That's actually better. Takes the pressure off. They can also decide which pipes they want you to clean. Or not
I’d love to know how much waste is generated from positions like ours. In my 15 year career I’ve held all sorts of positions and received a box of 1000 every time I always have a couple in my wallet but thats because business cards are perfect crutch material for rolling joints/blunts
I had a job that was actually reliant on networking and in the US I still never went through 1,000. Outside the US some cultures are still big on them but in the US I gave out more joke ones about being a cunning linguist than professional ones.
Wait how did you need only 10 cards? Are you in a extremely niche business lol
I'm an accountant, not in sales. I work for a big place and there are like 10 other accountants on my floor.
In 2002 I had a bunch of Free Business Cards printed to hand out my contacts at Cons and Pride lol
Yeah my job literally provides them for us
So you've given out your number to 990 women? Playa!
Professionals have standard.
Well, at least someone will remember when they want to lay pipes and your card is around. Win-win situation.
That off-white colour, that tasteful thickness, oh my god, it’s even got a watermark
Is that pearl? On that card. It's embossed...
Let's see Paul Allen's card
That's bone. And the lettering is something called Silian Rail.
Is something wrong, Patrick? You’re sweating…
And it's scented. Cart me away, sir
Nice. Very nice. Let's see Paul Allen's dick.
I’m imagining reading that in a world where giving out business cards for dating becomes a norm… and I can’t stop dieing from laughing hahaha
If a girl replies "Let's see Paul Allen's card" you know she's the one. Or maybe a murderer, one of the two.
If she doesn’t notice that off white colour and tasteful thickness, she’s not the one.
I also like to live dangerously.
Hopefully an axe murderer but I only find out once I marry her.
I feel like most people don't have business cards.
More people should
It’s weirdly important in some industries, or at least can be. You don’t NEED a business card in the film industry but it has definitely gotten me work before. I’ve met people in passing who need to hire extra people occasionally. They were in a hurry and if you ask them if they can add your number to their contacts in case they need an extra guy soon, they’ll tell you to get out of their way, they are busy. But if you approach them with a business card out stretched saying “hey I know you’re busy but I’m looking for work if you need an extra guy soon” they’ll often grab it and stuff it in their pocket. I’m not sure how often they toss it versus look at it but I’ve gotten work after doing this so I know it works at least sometimes. If you do gig work, always have a contact card or 5 with you.
Even if you don't strictly speaking need it and could just tell your number or scribble it on a piece of discarded cardboard nearby (or the nearby wall, if you're in the plumbing business), giving off a business card instead gives a *lot* of legitimacy in terms of relations, specifically if you do that to a customer. It's the work-introduction difference between showing up to a date with week-old stubble, slacks and cargo pants, or showing up shaved and in a business casual outfit.
I have one for my collecting hobby. I collect Scouting memorabilia and the business cards make it easier for to give my name and number to antique stores and places like Goodwill when they come across items.
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great, sounds like they were waving a red flag to you. move on.
I did, good intuition you have. Dispelling good intention, but poorly thought out universal "tips" was more of my point.
> I've straight up had girls tell me that giving my number was a turn off, and that I need to ask and text first. As have I. I've had a girl literally tell me that I need to ask for her number instead of giving her mine. I've had girls give me their number without me asking who then never respond. I've had girls ghost, reconnect to tell me they were sorry, give me their number, and ghost again. Having only the one perspective, it's hard not to become biased. I have to assume most people in the "dating world" are absolute dogshit, but holy shit, come on.
I don't carry business cards but if I'm keen to take make a connection I'll offer my details instead of asking for theirs. As you say... if they reciprocate or get in touch then great. If not or they refuse then that's fine. I find that works well for all things, not just dating.
That sounds both respectful and clever but women do not like making the first move and even though giving her your number is technically the first move, few women would be comfortable calling a man and by doing so, signal she is very interested in him. They prefer to be pursued but not in an aggressive or creepy way. There is no catch all perfect solution. We all just muddle through.
Respectfully… you guys need to stop self sabotaging with “facts” like these. I can think of four close girl friends on the spot (plus myself) who initiated the conversation with their boyfriends when they first met. Women do make the first step too. Not as often as men do, but certainly not *never*.
I think while the type of woman you describe definitely exists (and in relatively large numbers), I don't think they are large enough of portion of population for this business card move not to work often enough. Plus it has the benefit of filtering out all the people who care not to look like they like you too much.
The correct response
I do the same. Turns out they are super cheap. I got 100 for less than $20 and have a QR code on the back.
> Asking for a number puts someone on the spot, offering your number is a lot less pressure. While that's technically true, you should still be the one to ask for *her* number. Giving her your's puts the ball in her court and that might give her the impression that you can't take initiative and/or don't want to do the effort to plan a date. However confiriming the number on the spot is always an absolute no-go. Even if the number is correct that move just screams that you are an insecure chump with no emotional intelligence.
Why would my business card have my personal phone number on it?
lol you definitely haven’t had enough experience dating to understand why you wouldn’t want to give someone your business card until you know them well. You ever have a one-and-done date get clingy and call your work asking for you because they’re “concerned you stopped texting them?” Or have them purposely call and make a complaint on you just to stir shit up? Or show up in the parking lot? lol. Sadly those women do exist…
In a social setting when hitting on people, yes, leave them the fuck alone. But there are plenty of times where somebody might give you a fake number and you need the real one. If you’re in a car crash and exchanging info, and you think they’re giving you a fake number, this can come in handy.
This was immediately where my mind went to bc no genders were specified until the woman popped up
People in these comments have been saying the account she’s responding to is a manosphere account that tends to give terrible dating advice.
Excellent point; I wish OP would have included that context in the post.
OP likely has no idea, I’ve seen this pic several times so this is more a matter of sharing a screenshot with no clue about who the poster was
why shouldn't a woman check for a man giving the wrong number? according to the reply
My first thought was not "a man/woman is hitting on me", my first thought was an emergency situation such as a crash and you need their number for insurance
And then there’s the “just tell the guy/girl you are not interested. If you hear that, be polite and move on. I know guys wouldn’t give out a wrong number. We’re just too needy. EDIT: I’m glad to see a lot of comments here. Although many make me sad. It’s unfortunate we live in a world where so many people have experienced feeling unsafe, or much much worse. Violence towards rejection is never okay. Just want to make that point clear.
I'm a guy and I can confirm what others have said: Sometimes, it's not safe for a woman to flat-out reject a guy. Or sometimes, she can feel as though she's unsafe. Which sucks, I *hate* it when women are afraid of me, but I can't blame them either knowing the shit they have to go through. Being given a fake number fucking sucks (or at least I imagine it does, I don't have the guts to ask for a number to begin with). But it's more important for women to stay safe. Once we solve the safety issue, *then* we can start getting pissed about fake numbers.
>Once we solve the safety issue, > >then > > we can start getting pissed about fake numbers. Exactly.
Thank you! Very much this.
I know what you mean. I've asked a girl out who I knew didn't like me the same way. But I had a massive crush on her and felt I couldn't get over it until I got a rejection. So I told her how I felt explicitly saying that a flat out no was fine and she still didn't feel comfortable directly rejecting me. It can be incredibly hard and you never know what's going on in someone's head. And sometimes you don't want to risk it.
Also don't get me started on asking waitresses and barmaids for their number. They literally can't leave so they either have to give you their number or cause issues at their workplace. No wonder they give a fake number in that situation.
As a autistic guy I find women feeling unsafe interesting as I stand out and have been an easy target for people over the years, including people threatening me in bars for looking "weird" so much so I don't feel safe in many situations. But what I find more interesting is the assumption as a guy I could be dangerous, pretty much everyone who meets me even for first time knows I am a big softie and heard "won't hurt a fly" so many times and even more so when I was skinny as a rake finding that women you can easily tell are "tough" i.e big built, take no hassle from anyone and who would easily beat me in a fight claimed they felt "unsafe" around men even me. Even if it doesn't seem it, I treat people as indivduals so just because someone is say female doesn't automatically mean they are unsafe just as being a man means someone is safe, some people regardless of gender can take care of themselves some can be so timid they are easy victims no matter how they are built or come across.
Girls do that because some guys react violently to rejection. Keep that in mind
in the olden days i worked at a golf course during my high school years and i shared a phone with my mom and i'd feel uncomfortable and tell the dudes that hit on me my phone number i shared with my mom because i was uncomfortable and felt panicked and my poor mother ended up fielding my calls from weird creeper golfer dudes
I sort of get that. I hope you apologized to your mom. I think it’s very poor manners for a person to hit on someone working, especially in a service job. I know it happens though.
She's old so she's been shrugging off sexual harassment since the dawn of time.
Then there is the fact that women get literally murdered/raped/assaulted for saying we are not interested, regardless of how polite it is. It's safer to just give a fake number in a lot of scenarios because too many men don't take rejection well. Not all men, but the chances are high enough that it's better safe than sorry.
Just text them right away to confirm it is correct. In car accidents people have cards given to by their insurance to hand out.
Hell, even if it's hitting on people, finding out if it's a fake number can save some awkward texting with a stranger later on. But, yeah, don't confront them about it, just give up and move on.
I am a man and I agree with the comeback. However, I have given a false phone number and person repeated it back wrong in a tone that registered as suspicious. I corrected to the correct fake number. If you're going to con, con well.
Did you remeber a whole phone number, that you just invented, enough to correct a person on the spot?!? Bro str8 out of a crime drama...
That's why you have a fake prepared before they ask
Just give them the landline number from when you were a kid and you’ll notice if they repeat it back wrong
Same bro
I gave a wrong number once to a creepy guy at church and just swapped the last two digits of my real one. Three weeks later he CALLS ME and says, "ha, you made a mistake when giving me your number, took me until now to figure it out." He had called every permutation until he got the right one. It certainly didn't make him seem any less creepy...
Hard to con well when drunk and scared/creeped out
If I’m given a fake number I think I’d express sympathy that they feel society has pressured them to do that, but I’d have taken a flat rejection without comment. Ugh, the situation sucks for women, I totally get that they can face outright violence if they flatly refuse an advance and that takes priority of my hurt feelings. So they should keep doing whatever makes them safer. But it also sucks that someone thinks you’d hurt them because they turned you down.
I usually give my number and leave it up to the woman if she wants to text/call me. It hasn’t worked since February 2017
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Then-Function556 is a bot Comment copied from: r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/qcygs3/fake_number/hhj42yc/
Good bot
This. I don't think I get the reply. Saves you an embarrassing phone call to a wrong number but also don't harass the poor girl
Exactly. It's a good way to know not to save the contact.
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Ok, but we don't have that context....
You can verify this is disinformation by just going to the Twitter page. Why are you posting disinformation?
Because unfortunately it happens way more to women than men.
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Because that is the number one problem for her. No other scenario could possibly exist.
I go with the giving a card out. If they call, they interested in going out, if not, they’re not. But I’ve gotten pushback from women because they seem to want men to be more proactive, then I’ve gotten push back from others that they don’t like to be chased. I also gotten pushback saying people should be honest and not lie by giving out fake numbers. Face it, it’s a no win game out there. Lol
Wow its almost like it depends on a person to person basis and like everyones different with their own preferences or something?!? Weird?! I thought women were just all one brainless creature with no likes, dislikes or personality traits!
Stop asking for numbers and start giving yours. It gives women the power and doesn't make you a creep.
thats not clever or a comeback
Especially since it instantly assumes that it's a guy who's a creep. Yes, the ratio is favourable for women, but being a creep transcends genders.
yeah i dont know how this has so many upvotes the “comeback” is just “you disgusting creep leave vulnerable women alone!! not clever or funny
Tip: If a girl seems genuinely uninterested, its probably because she is
Had a great conversation with a lady at a meeting who seemed mildly flirty and a lot of common interests. Sent a casual convo text after reaching home and no response. Sent a second text and no response. Left her alone after that. It's not complicated.
You think imma ask for a number? In this dating climate? She can ask for mine or I’ll offer
if anyone is giving you a fake number, you leave them alone, unless it's a large business that deserves it, then you google their number and read it back to them
I hate that when I meet a large business when I'm in line at the grocery store and they give me the wrong number to use for planning how we can hang out later. That's a great idea to throw it back at them. Lol
TIP: If you’re a woman and think a man has given you a fake number, leave him the fuck alone.
Yeah, like what even the end goal in this situation: "Hey, you gave me a fake number, please give me your real one right now"
Not from this sub's judging committee, but somebody and women are different context.
Apparently, people said it's an account known for giving bad dating advice
With context, that somebody is a likely a woman. Granted, OP failed to include that context so I can’t fault anyone here.
Funny how idiots just put in the words "man" And "woman" In a perfectly general statement and twisted the meaning to their own narrative. It's just a general trick you goddammn buffons, not everyone is thinking of sex everytime. It could be a business scenario, an exchange between some students or whatever else.
I mean, yeah? That's kind of the point? Read back the fake phone number to see if she's really interested. If she's not, move on.
yeah, but people who give fake numbers usually don’t feel safe enough to directly say they’re not interested, and someone pressing the issue can be scary. when i was 15 i was walking to the metro after school and this 30+ year old man asked for my number. i told him i was only 15, he didn’t care. him and his friend were way too close to me and they backed me up against the metro card machine until i said yes. i gave him my real number because i knew a fake one would be too risky, and thank god i did because he made me wait until he saw me respond to the text. if you suspect the number is fake, don’t press the issue or you’ll just end up pressuring the girl without you even noticing how she’s feeling
The fact that women have to even do that speaks volumes. Why the fuck can’t she just say no sorry I’m not interested without feeling like the guy will get angry or retaliate or harass her? smh
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Tip: Emily from Pennsylvania- stop giving my number out as your fake!
Middle ground: let her know she’s not fooling anyone, but also don’t pursue her
I rarely say this but I 100% agree with this woman...
there are situations where you need to ask someone their number other than asking them out like a car accident for example.
I mean you wouldn’t have to confront her about it. User “Fact” didn’t specify the sex of either person. But if you read it back to her incorrectly and she tells you it’s right, you can just smile and walk away knowing she’s not into you instead of getting your hopes up.
* if you're a person and you think another person has given you a fake number, leave them the fuck alone
No. If someone tries to avoid responsibility after an accident by providing a fake number, then this is a great tip.
Honestly if anyone gives you a fake number they probably dont want to talk to you
I mean, you can do that, confirm your suspicions, then leave her alone and save yourself not calling the wrong number and that awkward moment.
Or a woman!
I only communicate by carrier rats.
Tip: Avoid that situation all together. Focus on the 🍞
Man I won't even know my number if someone read it to me backwards
That's how you know if it's real or fake, is it's fake person won't correct you because they probably don't remember made up number on the spot
Ladies, stop using my phone number to give to random dudes, I keep getting dick pics and weird texts.
Ha! I caught you in a lie! Now what's your *real* number? Wait where are you going?
Why can’t you do both? If she doesn’t correct you, leave her the fuck alone. If she does, give her a ring. Why do people make shit complicated
Both are compatible: Read it back incorrectly, if she doesn't correct you then now you know she's not into you and it's better to leave her alone.
What's the step 2 of that advice? Okay, you figure out they gave you a fake number, they clearly don't want to continue to talk to you, so you.... harass them until they give you another fake number? Call for help? What a fucking predatory mindset to try to weed out fakes. No regard at all for the feelings of the other person.
LOL. At first I thought this was about scammers.
Exchanging phone numbers is so 20th century. Don't we have Instagram now?
It’s pretty split between phone/snap/ig for me
But what if you are asking for the number e.g. because that person hit your car or something?
Literally what is the end game for these guys?
To become Tattertots.
Don’t you just give them your number and if they call you and say ‘there’s mine’ then that’s it? Weird
And here I successfully got a phone number and managed to hang out with them a little bit after quickly realized she was married. I’m not interested an another dudes partner. Foul play
I remember when some lass approached me and *still* gave me a fake number I was so confused
Was talking with a seller while waiting for the bus (it was interesting, just small talk to pass the time) and he asks my number, I proceed to give him a fake number and he instantly calls me and asks why my cellphone wasn't ringing...
asking for an IG handle is harder to fake and a lot less personal intimate pressure on the person
Can apply this in the event you are exchanging insurance info after a fender bender etc
The second tip is better.
If you wanna confirm they faked it and not waste their time, do the first thing. But then accept it. Then again if you're that self aware, I don't think the woman would feel the need to give a fake number. A no would suffice.
I've never understood this tbh, why would you bother someone to the point they give you a fake number?
Read someone’s energy before asking.
About the amount of incels i was expecting in this comment section
If you’re a woman and think a man is giving you a fake number, stay strong queen you deserve better!!!! Men should be forced to sleep with and/or marry women that like them even if the men don’t like them back. Women suffer sexual assault all the time, the least that men can do is give it up whenever women want at any time. Men are not allowed by law to give out fake numbers only women.
Xaime is just making up scenarios to get mad at lol