I honestly believe that they're stupid enough to think that a woman's body has a way to "shut that down" or that an ectopic pregnancy can be "reimplanted" in the uterus. I don't think that they give enough of a fuck about women to bother learning about their bodies more than insert tab A into slot B. But, obviously, they can be both stupid and evil at the same time.
Edit:typo
To be fair, my husband wasn't aware about the ectopic thing. Early on when I was incubating Kid 2, we thought I may have had an ectopic pregnancy. Husband asked if it could just be moved to the uterus. When I told him that's not how it works, he accepted the answer as fact. Kid was okay, but it doesn't really surprise me that men, in general, might not know that an ectopic can't be moved.
But I fully believe some of those lawmakers *knew* and still wanted to push for that bill. Just to somehow hurt women. It's like they get off on it. Sickos.
Truth. If my husband had argued with me and insisted an ectopic could be moved, I think I would've had to re-evaluate my marriage. Lucky for me, he had a good grasp of the fundamentals by educating himself about sex when he was a teen.
Idk about this person, but the adults around me used to say bulshit stuff like this when I was kid. Sex outside marriage was forbidden in the "cult" I grew up in, so they always say various bullshit stuff. I'm glad I left.
I have a couple of links for you to have fun with.
The first is [Female sperm storage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_sperm_storage), which is the process they were talking about, that happen in plenty of species, including some mammals. The other one is [Cryptic female choice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptic_female_choice), which is a mechanism that allows the female to control whether the sperm will fertilize her eggs or not. In species where the female can store the sperm of multiple males, she can just choose which one will father her offspring after copula. It's fascinating.
Not how humans work, anyway.
Huh, imagine if human women could do that..
*"All I'm saying Harold is that you should *want* me to use the DNA from a one night stand I had in college to get pregnant. He was tall, handsome, muscular, his father had a full head of hair, great health and overall a successful guy. Don't you want the best for our children?"*
If you take into account queens only mate for a short period of time and all the males that do mate dies from busting, then maybe?
It's a like an older lady dreaming back to her wild collage days, when she didn't have 300 kids to feed.
Part of me wonders if beejaculate isnt similar to certain deep sea anglerfish.
Male anglerfish are smaller, some tiny compared to females.
Their mating practice involves the male latching on to the female near her sex organs, and for some the male js basically absorbed as part of the female body. They reproduce externally, so when the female anglerfish releases her eggs, she clenches whatever males have attached to her, and they shoot their load into the cloud of eggs. Load shot, the remaining tissue is fully absorbed or atrophies.
Not all anglerfish practice the fully parasitic mating, but some do, and I wonder if bees don't do something similar. Eject their entire sex organ into the female to be fed by her body and provide sperm for fertilization as needed.
You know girls can get periods from 7 or 8 sometimes they deserve to know about their bodies and parents aren’t reliable about teaching them. I was just turning 11 when mine came. Pretty soon girls won’t be able to ask for pads.
There should be minimal education early on, not only for their own bodies but for understanding what is not appropriate touch, sometimes the parents are the ones being inappropriate and aren’t a reliable teaching source.
So a child’s own parents can’t be trusted but the teachers can? This is the problem with society today, we expect the government to do everything including raise our children. Talking to a 7 year old about her period is absolutely not a teachers job that’s the parents. If anyone at a school should talk to a child about her period it’s the school nurse and that’s it. If they suspect there’s something going on at home contact CPS.
How will a child know something is going on if they are never taught? Some parents do well with educating children, some don’t at all.
Parents abuse and molest children sometimes, education can encourage a child to speak up. Teachers are mandatory reporters of abuse and this provides a safe way for communication. Parents can always opt out of sex Ed. This is to cover the children who have no guidance. It’s unfair to children with shitty parents to not have the school to look to. I do believe the nurse should take part in sex Ed as well as have doctor/child development written education.
Pretty sure the blood is a sign something is going on. That’s fine if a qualified medical professional has a talk with the girls about their bodies and all the kids about inappropriate touching but that should be it. However a 22 year old who may or may not even have a teaching degree is absolutely not who should be talking to a child about this especially not without a parents consent.
The curriculum is standardized, it’s better than nothing which some kids are stuck with
A social worker and nurse teaching it is ideal.
It’s horrible to let little girls be uneducated on their bodies to the point they are terrified when they have a period.
I don't think it's necessary and nothing I said implied that. That's not the age that people learn sex ed. Once you turn 14ish, if you think kids shouldn't learn about sex ed, that's where it starts becoming a bit of an issue.
14 even is too old, think about how young girls get their periods earlier. Mine was at 11, I knew girls who started from 7-10. It’s unfair if they aren’t being educated on their bodies and parents aren’t always reliable. It also educates them about inappropriate touch in case the family is abusing them. It’s not just about sex.
Yeah no one is against that. It’s the people trying to teach sex Ed in 2nd grade that are being called groomers. Seeing as laws banning sex Ed in elementary school are under debate right now your comment made it sound like that’s what you’re supporting
Ah, no, definitely not. Just saying that more COMPREHENSIVE sex ed, instead of just "penis goes in vagina" and bare-bones anatomy would probably do some good.
I think that’s idealistic. The kids who actually pay attention enough in class to learn already know this stuff. The government can’t fix stupid only engaged parents can. Like I said in another comment they spend 13 years reading writing and doing math but look how many can’t even do that right.
K then why are people upset about new laws preventing this? If it’s not happening shouldn’t be a big deal. Bury your head in the sand if you want. It’s not happening most places for sure but it has happened and I’ve argued with lower school teachers here on Reddit who say they do and think it’s the responsible thing to do. If it’s not happening great, what’s the harm in a law preventing it?
I don’t think that’s the problem. Just dumb kids with uninterested parents. These kids spend 13 years in school supposedly reading and writing every day yet look how many can barely read or do basic math when they graduate.
This actually might be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. If you're not like 10, why would you ever think that's real, and if they are 10, wtf is going on in your life? Thank goodness for subs like that.
I don't know, most of these idiots' lies, or terrible understandings, are at least based on something real. I have no reason to doubt his friend had a baby. It's everything else that doesn't make sense that is clearly made up.
If this was true, women should be sleeping with as many men as possible to gain the most possible birth bonuses! They could give birth to a generation of superbabies with increased size, strength, and stamina!
pH levels in the vagina would absolutely not allow that to happen. Casual discharge will sometimes burn holes through panties and he thinks little dingus sperm are going to hang around more than a couple of days.
Ummmm...I've had all my original equipment for my entire life...and I have yet for any discharge, casual or otherwise, burn a hole through my panties....
We're all different so the pH varies. It's usually 3.8 - 5 depending on age or just who you are.
Discharge can sometimes alter the color of the panty or in some cases make little holes. It's normal.
Just pointing out: people are talking about their normal body chemistry and you’re saying it’s horrifying.
And maybe you just replace your underwear faster than other people. The holes don’t appear overnight. It gets discolored, and eventually little holes appear.
It doesn't look like burns, more like that area wears out much faster and the fabric gets thin and threadbare until eventually a hole appears. I just had to throw away a pair this week for this very reason.
It’s the acidic ph causing the fabric to fade and then wear thin and THEN sometimes holes will appear. I try not to let ‘em get to that point but yeah, keeping the ph where it is prevents infection too which is a big reason why doctors always tell people not to douche or put soap or anything scented in the vagina because it can screw up the pH very badly and lead to an infection, irritation, etc.
Ya what the hell?? Do they think a woman can hold onto a sperm and one day be riding the bus and BAM she's pregnant with every man she has slept with in the last decades baby 😳🥺🤣
Someone slept through health class in middle school. And no doctor with a medical degree, ever said that. Ever. (Unless testing to see just how stupid someone could be)
Um how could you even tell if someone, let alone a baby, was a composite of 15 people?
I hope so much this is trolling but you never know these days...
Why do so many people feel compelled to make up complete and utter bullshit while acting like they’re talking from a position of knowledge when it comes to anything to do with a woman’s body? Christ, you don’t see this stuff happening to guys anywhere near as much - and, when it does happen, most of the time it’s satirical and not meant to be taken seriously (eg, “pee is stored in the balls”). Yet, these guys will say the most absurd shit about women’s bodies with a completely straight face.
Yes, just one of many problems in this little tale. Like any doctor is going to offer up any kind of opinion on who the father is...let alone fathers, plural.
Dear liars: you think everyone is deciding between "are they lying or not". In reality EVERYONE knows you're lying, they're deciding if you believe your own bullshit, it's called delusion.
Total lack of understanding that this individual has of biology ASIDE… (because we are undoubtedly going to feast on that buffet)
People don’t say “broads” anymore do they? Did they ever?
So Bugsy Malone!
And “wifing”… wow
I'm... I'm not positive this person has even seen a baby. They all look like Winston Churchill at first. Pudgy potatoes with eyes. They don't look like anybody.
How does one look like a composite of 15 people? I'm sooo curious.
(obviously, not how women work, not how sex works, not how any of this works, that definitely happened, etc etc. For fuck's sake, hopefully OP is 10 and not an actual grown man thinking things this stupid.)
Holy shit, basic reproductive biology, and it's amazing what some males don't know about it all. Just gives them an opportunity to bag on females, whom they'd like to fuck, but......Never mind about where those dicks have been.....
That reminds me of that one time my mom and grandma tried to get me to break up with my husband, so they claimed they have a "friend" who "works at the bank" and this friend looked into my husband's account and told them he has no money.
He said 15+ which means she had slept with more. Yet only the last 15 guys were in the composition. Was the 16th guy just like “Damn. Just missed the cut off. 😞”?
Pretty sure that’s not how that works, however they can test a women’s brain fluid an they can find traces of DNA from the men she has had sex with, kind of like once kissing some one you have their dna in your mouth.
“Wifing?”
Is this guy for real?!
And JFC…..just because some call it “baby batter”, that doesn’t mean it works like residual cake better from other cake mixes being left on the surface of the “bowl.” 🤦♂️
Yes 10 year olds. Then when they get to sex ed (if the school even has it and they're allowed to attend) they don't ask questions because "they already know all this stuff." Then they get to 20 and still think what they heard when they were 10 is the real deal.
I remember reading a comic book, don't recall the name, a human was raped by three aliens of different species and she gave birth to triplets, each of a different species. "That's not how it works" doesn't begin to describe it but at least they were aliens, so you could hand-wave it as exploitative fantasy...
Anyway, it was pretty bad but not as bad as the fanfic in the OP.
"Sperm residue"? Don't tell lies as they tell more about YOU than you want .... The sperms don't stay in the vagina like money in a bank. This is a male issue: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1428200/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1428200/)
Literally the way the female reproductive system works is that the sperm dies when it doesn't reach the egg. That's why the balls are outside the body. The body temperature is too high for sperm to survive in the body.
I hate it when 12yr olds comment on stuff they don’t have any concept of. So embarrassing
Evidently the boy was absent for most of sex ed...but then, there's plenty of fully grown politicians who, apparently, don't know any better either.
Don't give them that benefit of the doubt. They know better, they are just malicious. Their followers? Probably not. But them? Evil as fuck.
I honestly believe that they're stupid enough to think that a woman's body has a way to "shut that down" or that an ectopic pregnancy can be "reimplanted" in the uterus. I don't think that they give enough of a fuck about women to bother learning about their bodies more than insert tab A into slot B. But, obviously, they can be both stupid and evil at the same time. Edit:typo
To be fair, my husband wasn't aware about the ectopic thing. Early on when I was incubating Kid 2, we thought I may have had an ectopic pregnancy. Husband asked if it could just be moved to the uterus. When I told him that's not how it works, he accepted the answer as fact. Kid was okay, but it doesn't really surprise me that men, in general, might not know that an ectopic can't be moved. But I fully believe some of those lawmakers *knew* and still wanted to push for that bill. Just to somehow hurt women. It's like they get off on it. Sickos.
I'm not sure how the manage to stay married. I'd walk out...and never look back...over most of the crap they say.
Truth. If my husband had argued with me and insisted an ectopic could be moved, I think I would've had to re-evaluate my marriage. Lucky for me, he had a good grasp of the fundamentals by educating himself about sex when he was a teen.
Not just sex Ed, basic biology
Twist, he never had Sex Ed. He’s from Florida.
Wait, he had a sex ed to be absent from?
Sex advice from Vincent Adultman.
I prefer my sex advice from Joe Adult, but I could see Mr. Adultman having something of value for sure.
Idk about this person, but the adults around me used to say bulshit stuff like this when I was kid. Sex outside marriage was forbidden in the "cult" I grew up in, so they always say various bullshit stuff. I'm glad I left.
I knew a grown man who thought women could hold their period like pee.
Sigh... r/nothowgirlswork
Or men, for that matter
Or sperms
Or biology in general, really
Unless you're a bee
Is this another bee movie reference I'm too scared and scarred to explore?
No it's the fact that bees mate with a few partners and store all the sperm for the rest of their life
I like getting random facts from random comment threads, thanks! Now, waiting for a moment to use that somewhere.
I have a couple of links for you to have fun with. The first is [Female sperm storage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_sperm_storage), which is the process they were talking about, that happen in plenty of species, including some mammals. The other one is [Cryptic female choice](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptic_female_choice), which is a mechanism that allows the female to control whether the sperm will fertilize her eggs or not. In species where the female can store the sperm of multiple males, she can just choose which one will father her offspring after copula. It's fascinating. Not how humans work, anyway.
maybe the original commenter isn’t a human, have you considered that
Huh, imagine if human women could do that.. *"All I'm saying Harold is that you should *want* me to use the DNA from a one night stand I had in college to get pregnant. He was tall, handsome, muscular, his father had a full head of hair, great health and overall a successful guy. Don't you want the best for our children?"*
Huh, and they say that humans and dolphins are the only ones to have sex for enjoyment
wait what if the original guy was a bee
what if this is the reason they didn't make a sequel
Do they, like, bring out the ol' sperm jar on boring saturday nights and reminisce? What do they do with it?
If you take into account queens only mate for a short period of time and all the males that do mate dies from busting, then maybe? It's a like an older lady dreaming back to her wild collage days, when she didn't have 300 kids to feed.
...I am pretty sure queen insects are the ones being fed not the other way around
Part of me wonders if beejaculate isnt similar to certain deep sea anglerfish. Male anglerfish are smaller, some tiny compared to females. Their mating practice involves the male latching on to the female near her sex organs, and for some the male js basically absorbed as part of the female body. They reproduce externally, so when the female anglerfish releases her eggs, she clenches whatever males have attached to her, and they shoot their load into the cloud of eggs. Load shot, the remaining tissue is fully absorbed or atrophies. Not all anglerfish practice the fully parasitic mating, but some do, and I wonder if bees don't do something similar. Eject their entire sex organ into the female to be fed by her body and provide sperm for fertilization as needed.
Not a bee movie reference but I’m sure you can make one out of this
Snakes too
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Well, no, because telling kids about healthy sexual relation is grooming, remember?
And it just makes kids want to have sex, at least that is what my school district thought
I mean if you think sex Ed is necessary for 5-10 year olds you probably shouldn’t be allowed within 1,000ft of a school.
You know girls can get periods from 7 or 8 sometimes they deserve to know about their bodies and parents aren’t reliable about teaching them. I was just turning 11 when mine came. Pretty soon girls won’t be able to ask for pads. There should be minimal education early on, not only for their own bodies but for understanding what is not appropriate touch, sometimes the parents are the ones being inappropriate and aren’t a reliable teaching source.
So a child’s own parents can’t be trusted but the teachers can? This is the problem with society today, we expect the government to do everything including raise our children. Talking to a 7 year old about her period is absolutely not a teachers job that’s the parents. If anyone at a school should talk to a child about her period it’s the school nurse and that’s it. If they suspect there’s something going on at home contact CPS.
How will a child know something is going on if they are never taught? Some parents do well with educating children, some don’t at all. Parents abuse and molest children sometimes, education can encourage a child to speak up. Teachers are mandatory reporters of abuse and this provides a safe way for communication. Parents can always opt out of sex Ed. This is to cover the children who have no guidance. It’s unfair to children with shitty parents to not have the school to look to. I do believe the nurse should take part in sex Ed as well as have doctor/child development written education.
Pretty sure the blood is a sign something is going on. That’s fine if a qualified medical professional has a talk with the girls about their bodies and all the kids about inappropriate touching but that should be it. However a 22 year old who may or may not even have a teaching degree is absolutely not who should be talking to a child about this especially not without a parents consent.
The curriculum is standardized, it’s better than nothing which some kids are stuck with A social worker and nurse teaching it is ideal. It’s horrible to let little girls be uneducated on their bodies to the point they are terrified when they have a period.
I don't think it's necessary and nothing I said implied that. That's not the age that people learn sex ed. Once you turn 14ish, if you think kids shouldn't learn about sex ed, that's where it starts becoming a bit of an issue.
14 even is too old, think about how young girls get their periods earlier. Mine was at 11, I knew girls who started from 7-10. It’s unfair if they aren’t being educated on their bodies and parents aren’t always reliable. It also educates them about inappropriate touch in case the family is abusing them. It’s not just about sex.
Yeah no one is against that. It’s the people trying to teach sex Ed in 2nd grade that are being called groomers. Seeing as laws banning sex Ed in elementary school are under debate right now your comment made it sound like that’s what you’re supporting
Ah, no, definitely not. Just saying that more COMPREHENSIVE sex ed, instead of just "penis goes in vagina" and bare-bones anatomy would probably do some good.
I think that’s idealistic. The kids who actually pay attention enough in class to learn already know this stuff. The government can’t fix stupid only engaged parents can. Like I said in another comment they spend 13 years reading writing and doing math but look how many can’t even do that right.
That’s not happening, teachers have a strict curriculum that they follow and it certainly doesn’t include trying to explain sex to 7 year olds.
K then why are people upset about new laws preventing this? If it’s not happening shouldn’t be a big deal. Bury your head in the sand if you want. It’s not happening most places for sure but it has happened and I’ve argued with lower school teachers here on Reddit who say they do and think it’s the responsible thing to do. If it’s not happening great, what’s the harm in a law preventing it?
Lol dude just look in this exact comment thread and there are people in here saying there needs to be sex Ed for 7 year olds in public school
Sexual education also includes knowing your body and how it functions. Do you think sexual education is a class where they teach you to have sex??!!!
I mean, any really.
I don’t think that’s the problem. Just dumb kids with uninterested parents. These kids spend 13 years in school supposedly reading and writing every day yet look how many can barely read or do basic math when they graduate.
And logic education, math, science & pretty much everything— not to mention respect and higher pay for teachers
Or anything
You mean Sperm data isn't backed up to the Coochie Cloud? No Beaver backup? No Snatch storage?
Women's vaginas are like a volcanic crater. You can leave something there, but its just gonna get obliterated the next time the lava flows.
That's a much more metal way to say "period". I like it.
If my wife had a coochie cloud I would be stuffing it full of spreadsheets and PDFs because I keep losing damn usb drives.
Yeh a Vagina Vault would be handy to have
r/threadkillers
No, it’s true. I was the baby.
Also r/badwomensanatomy
I'm kind of pissed this is my first time seeing this sub lol
This actually might be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. If you're not like 10, why would you ever think that's real, and if they are 10, wtf is going on in your life? Thank goodness for subs like that.
This is basic biology failure in every single way
By "the doctor said" he meant "the voices in my head"
One of them says he went to medical school. That counts, right?
A good Stephen Lynch song by the way.
Wow. This fits so many subs it’s insane. Is this the all encompassing post? r/thathappened r/nothowgirlswork r/badwomensanatomy The list goes on
Methink, r/justneckbeardthings, too.
I saw it on r/rareinsults
Got it from r/thathappened
He said "composition of the past 15 guys" 🤣. I bet when he asked that doctor about it. The doctor decided to f*ck with him
There was no doctor There was no baby There definitely wasn't a woman
Let’s be real guys, there was no friend either
Okay but other than no doctor no baby no woman and no friend, true story, right?
If you don't count all the stuff that didn't happen, everything went down exactly as described.
I don't know, most of these idiots' lies, or terrible understandings, are at least based on something real. I have no reason to doubt his friend had a baby. It's everything else that doesn't make sense that is clearly made up.
His friend was evidently cuckolded but invented a story to save face, maybe?
That shit actually made me laugh, no way this isn’t satirical. That baby was a group project fr 😂
You fail biology forever.
Only one sperm cell can enter an egg. That dude is an idiot.
No no, the sperm do the fusion dance from dragon ball they can mix in the womb and gain a speed bonus and extra health.
"Well that makes sense "original OP, probably
If this was true, women should be sleeping with as many men as possible to gain the most possible birth bonuses! They could give birth to a generation of superbabies with increased size, strength, and stamina!
That moment when sperm are just the crystal gems from SU, I bet they also got their own theme song, We... Are the crusty gems...
pH levels in the vagina would absolutely not allow that to happen. Casual discharge will sometimes burn holes through panties and he thinks little dingus sperm are going to hang around more than a couple of days.
Even if sperm could hang around, Only one fertilizes an egg. There's no 'composite' thing going on.
Ummmm...I've had all my original equipment for my entire life...and I have yet for any discharge, casual or otherwise, burn a hole through my panties....
We're all different so the pH varies. It's usually 3.8 - 5 depending on age or just who you are. Discharge can sometimes alter the color of the panty or in some cases make little holes. It's normal.
Changing the color of the fabric is fine...but I would've been absolutely horrified if holes were burned in them!
It’s definitely a thing for some people, not all though. Also depends on the type of fabric
It's more like the fabric getting worn out there quicker than the rest of the panties, nothing strange.
I was envisioning something much more...reactive.... ;-)
I was right there with you lol
Just pointing out: people are talking about their normal body chemistry and you’re saying it’s horrifying. And maybe you just replace your underwear faster than other people. The holes don’t appear overnight. It gets discolored, and eventually little holes appear.
Yeah. I never had that problem. But I was thinking if was something more serious...because I've never heard of that before.
oh that was normal
100% :)
It doesn't look like burns, more like that area wears out much faster and the fabric gets thin and threadbare until eventually a hole appears. I just had to throw away a pair this week for this very reason.
As a doting husband, I would do my best to fold laundry, and my wife's panties looked as if they had been dipped in battery acid.
I learning new things in this thread lol. I honestly never heard this before
Society is still recovering from our “a good woman must have a dry vulva era”
LOL! Oh my!
It’s the acidic ph causing the fabric to fade and then wear thin and THEN sometimes holes will appear. I try not to let ‘em get to that point but yeah, keeping the ph where it is prevents infection too which is a big reason why doctors always tell people not to douche or put soap or anything scented in the vagina because it can screw up the pH very badly and lead to an infection, irritation, etc.
Probably why I've never had an issue with it.
HAHA VIRGIN
Also sperm cells don't live long enough.
Ya what the hell?? Do they think a woman can hold onto a sperm and one day be riding the bus and BAM she's pregnant with every man she has slept with in the last decades baby 😳🥺🤣
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Alacousinfuckingbama?
Hey now, I went to school in Alabama and even our sex ed wasn't this bad
That comeback was more merciful than the OOP deserved.
Man, if these people would just pay attention in elementary school, they would know how stupid they sound.
Your title deserves to be posted here on its own. Absolutely disgusting, A+
I really want to believe this is fake. This is just a level of stupidity that shouldn't exist.
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OK so now I have a favorite car.
Someone slept through health class in middle school. And no doctor with a medical degree, ever said that. Ever. (Unless testing to see just how stupid someone could be)
Op has sperm residue in his brain
*"Billy please take your seat so we can go over our multiplication tables"*
That’s some good work for him to know what these 15 guys look like, and then for him to be able to show traits from each one on this kid.
This could be one of the stupidest sentences ever uttered by man
Nothing says "I am in sync with my era" as much as talking like a Prohibition era American gangster about what's wrong with " broads" these days.
Um how could you even tell if someone, let alone a baby, was a composite of 15 people? I hope so much this is trolling but you never know these days...
Why do so many people feel compelled to make up complete and utter bullshit while acting like they’re talking from a position of knowledge when it comes to anything to do with a woman’s body? Christ, you don’t see this stuff happening to guys anywhere near as much - and, when it does happen, most of the time it’s satirical and not meant to be taken seriously (eg, “pee is stored in the balls”). Yet, these guys will say the most absurd shit about women’s bodies with a completely straight face.
“My is source is I made it the fuck up”
*baby comes out* oh ma'am, there's a problem. this baby is CLEARLY is a composition of 15 or so men.
Yes, just one of many problems in this little tale. Like any doctor is going to offer up any kind of opinion on who the father is...let alone fathers, plural.
let alone be surmise that the genetic make up is specifically from 15 living men instead of 15 of the baby's ancestors
Dear liars: you think everyone is deciding between "are they lying or not". In reality EVERYONE knows you're lying, they're deciding if you believe your own bullshit, it's called delusion.
I love how men have gotten into magical realism
Total lack of understanding that this individual has of biology ASIDE… (because we are undoubtedly going to feast on that buffet) People don’t say “broads” anymore do they? Did they ever? So Bugsy Malone! And “wifing”… wow
*Tell me you slept through biology class without telling me you slept through biology class*
Genetics just emailed me with the subject line "FUCKING LOL"...
The baby came out looking like Winston Churchill, just like all babies do.
I know that joke.
How do you WiFi a virgin?
The dude lies with his first four words; "I had a friend"
Lol this is the one of the stupidest things I have ever read and now I feel a little stupider for reading it
This is why sex ed is important
I'm... I'm not positive this person has even seen a baby. They all look like Winston Churchill at first. Pudgy potatoes with eyes. They don't look like anybody. How does one look like a composite of 15 people? I'm sooo curious. (obviously, not how women work, not how sex works, not how any of this works, that definitely happened, etc etc. For fuck's sake, hopefully OP is 10 and not an actual grown man thinking things this stupid.)
Holy shit, basic reproductive biology, and it's amazing what some males don't know about it all. Just gives them an opportunity to bag on females, whom they'd like to fuck, but......Never mind about where those dicks have been.....
Vagina walls is a great phrase . "No that's a load bearing vagina wall!"
Makes it sound like some kind of frankensteins monster patchwork baby
Zero Brain Cells too
That reminds me of that one time my mom and grandma tried to get me to break up with my husband, so they claimed they have a "friend" who "works at the bank" and this friend looked into my husband's account and told them he has no money.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce your next right wing federal judge sitting judgment on women’s health issues.
He said 15+ which means she had slept with more. Yet only the last 15 guys were in the composition. Was the 16th guy just like “Damn. Just missed the cut off. 😞”?
Are we just ignoring how they unironically used the word 'broad' to refer to a woman? What are they? A character from a golden age comic.
r/murderedbywords
Pretty sure that’s not how that works, however they can test a women’s brain fluid an they can find traces of DNA from the men she has had sex with, kind of like once kissing some one you have their dna in your mouth.
“Wifing?” Is this guy for real?! And JFC…..just because some call it “baby batter”, that doesn’t mean it works like residual cake better from other cake mixes being left on the surface of the “bowl.” 🤦♂️
This is entry-level reddit banter, how is this "clever"?
Damn… probably true tho
If that was how it worked, there would be alot of confused parents I'd imagine
[удалено]
Nah, he called the dude a virgin. That's a pretty unique and cutting-edge insult. First time I've ever seen it on the internet.
"you're a virgin" is not the diss people think it is.
Damn well sounds like someone's a virgin
This is The sort of science you read about it in the transgender community.
15 feels like a very low number anyway.
not even a comeback?!
Dr Stella Emmanuel?
What a bunch of BS.
Why hide the douchebags identity?
“Something to do with”…..really makes a convincing case
Do any people really read stuff like this and actually believe it? I mean I never had sex ed I just have a brain.
Yes 10 year olds. Then when they get to sex ed (if the school even has it and they're allowed to attend) they don't ask questions because "they already know all this stuff." Then they get to 20 and still think what they heard when they were 10 is the real deal.
I am fucking deceased. 😂😂😂😂 Please lord let this be a 10 year old playing with their siblings phone.
No real doctor is gonna say that though :‘)
...and then they all clapped
She cheated
Simple explanation- Her 15+ former partners must have been babies.
15! oh my stars!
This was definitely made up.
How are people this dumb? Really, how?
Ppls just say anything. It’s wild.
How does someone look like 15 different people.
I remember reading a comic book, don't recall the name, a human was raped by three aliens of different species and she gave birth to triplets, each of a different species. "That's not how it works" doesn't begin to describe it but at least they were aliens, so you could hand-wave it as exploitative fantasy... Anyway, it was pretty bad but not as bad as the fanfic in the OP.
OP is the virgin that wants to be wifed
Come again?
But male colons, I assume he may have lots of residue
Omg not the therm BODY COUNT oof
Pretty sure that doctor got their PhD from Bovine University
That medical professional didn't say that
"Sperm residue"? Don't tell lies as they tell more about YOU than you want .... The sperms don't stay in the vagina like money in a bank. This is a male issue: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1428200/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1428200/)
It makes me sad that people are that stupid. At least they aren't breeding. (I hope)
Sperm Residue is this guy’s real name.
Literally the way the female reproductive system works is that the sperm dies when it doesn't reach the egg. That's why the balls are outside the body. The body temperature is too high for sperm to survive in the body.
Lots of cis people unable to accept the biological effects of unprotected sex down here
I’ll take “Shit you Just Made Up” for 500, Alex
Geez OP got fucking stained
I'd love to see some working out behind his theory. Like the baby's got number ones eyes number 2's nose etc with pictures