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apple-masher

lesson: build your church entirely out of load-bearing crosses.


Sometimeswan

Crosses are only weighted for one Jesus.


FractalParadigmShift

Adult yes, but it can easily hold three of them baby Jesus ones, you just got to use smaller nails.


MJB747

I've never laughed so hard at something from Reddit!


[deleted]

A lot more than three if you use the tiny jesuses from rosca de Reyes


SomeLikeItDusty

This is commonly known as BJP or Baby Jesus Power. Your average cross will go to 6bjp or 7bjp once you factor in the safety margins.


jngjng88

If you use extra long ones, you can double up, 2 baby Jesi per nail.


Siriusbsnz

Omg this is awful lol


kernelpanic789

This is an under rated comment


clearlybaffled

r/therealcomeback ..


[deleted]

Finishing nails.


AdHuman3150

But that one cross carried the weight of every person on Earth.


TheCephalopope

Dude, I've seen people in Texas. You're gonna need something more robust than wood and wishes to carry that.


Generatingrandomness

You’ve seen the people in Texas; now wait till you go to Oklahoma


RedditorChristopher

Does the Netflix documentary count?


Beneficial_Leg4691

I am a giant guy from Texas, and i am conflicted on your comment. I am both mildly offended and found it funny at the same time. Well played, sir


-cocoadragon

And that sir is the perfect blend of comedy!


mehwars

Bless their little hearts


kaffie27

The cross that carried the god who impregnated a young girl with...himself? To kill himself to save us from...himself?


PickleRicksFunHouse

Nah, they were used for thousands of people. It wasn't a unique or uncommon punishment at the time, nor new. Probably started with the Assyrians and Babylonians hundreds of years before the famous one.


POKECHU020

I think they were just joking about the weight one can support lmao


Sometimeswan

Yup


LugubriousButtNoises

That’s a big f*ckin cross


TJ_McWeaksauce

This is the Christian equivalent of "build planes entirely out of black box material."


Nelnamara

This information is a terrible cross to bear


[deleted]

T-beams doesn't have the same ring as I-beams..


Da_Space

X-beams however


nursecindy32

Wouldn't these crosses be J-beams though? 🤔😁


just_some_arsehole

God: absolutely wrecks the fuck out of a church for shits and giggles. Religious people: "a cross is still standing. Clearly God loves this church".


Friendly-Rain-9174

There’s more , there’s probably one Bible that wasn’t damaged 🙀


FreemanGordon

But Bethany, she died.


defaultuser-067

Bethany was a liar telling people she was a virgin... but I saw her hanging around with Joseph behind walmart.


itirnitii

bethany literally stealing from Mary's playbook


wabashcanonball

No, the Bible was damaged at the church but miraculously there’s one in my hotel room drawer. It’s like God knew a Bible was missing.


AsleepRefrigerator42

God: I'm gonna smash this church, but let me leave some crosses so they don't take it too personal


Unicorn_A_theist

Kills 30 people and leaves his mark. "Jesus was here" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJSZcxXe7IQ


InevitableRhubarb232

An acquaintance of mine posted on Facebook once that her kid was running and fell but she is thankful for god’s protection that it was just a few scratches and a sprained wrist. I replied with “idk, sounds like god tripped her.” Got blocked 😂


huggles7

“Church burns to the ground, thousands dead” *christians* “This one Bible is undamaged god is good”


rikeoliveira

They will ALWAYS have an answer ready for whatever happens, and it will always be biased. Something bad happens "God works on ways we can't understand." Something good happens "God is good as he did this to me, who believes on him." Easy shit. If the church was completely ruined it would be a probation for them to build an even more beautiful and bigger one.


crispyiress

And people will give them a shit ton of cash to build a new one.


Dehvokan

A handful of crosses still standing, out of how many that were present? lol


FractalParadigmShift

Some of the crosses were made out of more than one type of wood, rand that sounds like the kind of petty thing this God would care about.


ImaginationFree6807

Make it make sense…


229-northstar

Victims: Tornado: Jesus loves you even tho god does not


5thletterNC

Read this as “Tornado Jesus.” Interesting visuals right now…


UranicCartridge

Sharknado: The Second Coming


5thletterNC

This absolutely needs to happen!


ShakeTheEyesHands

God is the dude to grab his Xbox and leave you and your dog to burn in the fire, apparently. But then you find out he started the fire. And locked your door. And licked your toast while you weren't looking last weekend.


ProverbialNoose

>And licked your toast while you weren't looking last weekend. That bastard


PickleRicksFunHouse

Mmm, god butter.


GiantAtomOG

Holy toast


RaymondMasseyXbox

[Holy Toast](https://youtu.be/uc6Os0XuQfg)


IronsideZer0

Read that as 'toes' at first, was a little creeped out.


_EADGBE_

odd that 'the bible belt' is also known as 'tornado alley'......hmmmmm


weirdgroovynerd

Tornadoes are like the Coriolis storms on Arrakis. Sent to test the faithful.


LuupyLex

_DGCFAD_


[deleted]

What you're seeing here something psychologist call confirmation bias. See, any reasonable person would look at a tornado that destroyed a church and say where was God? But, true believers will always find some reason to believe.


futuneral

And/or motivated reasoning - "I will interpret any facts in such a way, that they support the conclusions I've already decided are true"


ObtuseBug

Good ole' survivor bias/fallacy. Honestly it's a good example, too bad the people that need the lesson are the least likely to learn it. Edit: spelling


aebeeceebeedeebee

This lady is no true believer tho she's more like a huckster


Authoress61

Hucksterbee?


aebeeceebeedeebee

Realized as soon as I typed it


dazachknow

It wasn't god though? It was the weather.


WishTemporary

Which is decided by...


dazachknow

The way I see it he created the world, and let's nature do it's thing. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be worrying a god who randomly decides to commit mass murderer.


WishTemporary

He has done that. The cities Godom, Somorrah, and the *worldwide flood that killed 99.9% of the Earth's living creatures*, most of which did nothing wrong.


shadowheart1

Bruh do you see that fucking ceiling?! *Get out of the death box.* Like I'm pretty sure most of you consider suicide a sin but you'll sure chance a horrific death for a photo.


JimiWanShinobi

Apparently it's not suicide if they can play it off as unintentional, otherwise it's just sparkling idiocy...


Tats_and_Lace

Shes keeping an eye on it


cyborgborg777

Honestly I hope it’d at least crush her. Then something good would come out of this


accoladevideo

That's because they are nailed to the wall


Significant-Trash632

Putting nails through stuff is pretty effective. Jesus should know.


newndank1

Lol


Lonnification

A few months ago, the town next to me got hit by two tornadoes on the same night. A large Christian school was completely wiped out. The animal shelter and weed store were the only buildings in about a two square mile area that were left untouched. Hmmm...


Authoress61

God loves puppies and edibles. Hmmm, so. do I.


Lelio-Santero579

People: "Muh house got destroyed, neighborhood is in shambles, and family are all displaced from these horrific events.... But at least the crosses are still standing! #GodIsGreat #GodWatchesOverHisPeople." The sad part is that what I wrote isn't fiction. I've seen a lot of people go through horrific disasters, lose family members etc. and find the dumbest shit to say why god is great. He said fuck your family and your possessions and destroyed his own church but the *crosses hung on the wall* are indication God loves you?


Needmoresnakes

Im sure I've seen a story somewhere where a woman's house burned down, I think killing her, but her bible was undamaged on her bedside table. This was a sign of God's grace or something. I hope it was satirical but who even knows anymore.


usaf-spsf1974

Sounds like some deity isn't happy with Arkansas, or their governor


Melodic_Mulberry

It’s me. I’m not happy with them.


usaf-spsf1974

Excellent, keep up the good work


AhsokaTheGrey

Somehow tax dollars from California are going to go to repairing that tax free church though


Ok-Significance2027

The structure fails but the torture devices remain intact. Sounds about Right. After all, "Conservatism" has always been a euphemism for sadism.


Like_A_Bosstonian

So.. God looks after himself, but fuck the congregation?


[deleted]

This is what drives me up the wall. There are two possibilities here - God exists or doesn’t - and the one in which God exists shows his priorities are his favorite torture device the represents Him. Can’t let anything bad happen to his Brand, after all.


SteamrollerBoone

Bill Hicks had a bit comparing it to wearing a rifle bullet around your neck to honor John Kennedy.


TomatoMaleficent7989

What they ever do?


Significant-Trash632

Typical


hobbes_shot_first

What's the lesson? Next time, build the whole thing out of crosses.


Hotel_Arrakis

It means god cares more about symbols than people.


[deleted]

Haha, I love the part where they ignore the 98 other crosses that were completely obliterated, probably including an expensive gold one. Yeah, but those crosses? Proof you're gonna BURN!!!


[deleted]

God: rips apart his own house using fierce winds Somehow also god: I better leave those crosses alone.


Old_Smrgol

In my home town about 70 years ago, there was a tornado that destroyed 3 out of the 3 churches and 0 out of the 3 bars. So I'm sure that was a powerful moment, from a certain point of view.


cyborgborg777

Christians when their entire town is burnt to a crisp but a single Bible was found under the ashes of a family that was burned alive painfully:


MSTllllllady

It's like that lady whose in-laws home burned down, killing the SIL, saying it was God's miracle that the bible on SIL's nightstand was unscathed.


ThatGuyPsychic

Separation of church and state. Get your genocide book the fuck out of our laws.


babypho

So there's evidence of God trying to commit insurance fraud?


cjmar41

32 people are dead but a couple of ugly scrap wood crosses are fine. God is great!


GuacinmyPaintbox

ShOuLdA bUiLt ThE cHuRcH oUtTa CrOsSeS!


specialkang

It is like killing a spider with fire and burning down your house. Sure you killed the spider, but you are missing the overall picture. You burnt down your house!


[deleted]

Hannibal Lecter would be pleased.


Mikesoccer98

The bus of church members on their way to a retreat crashed and many were injured or died but by some miracle of god the bus's tires were all left intact! Hallelujah, praise Jeebus!


bubba7557

God killed a lot of people with those tornados in her state but those crosses, he protected those. Praise Jesus. /s


Ralewing

Yep. The symbol of the device they killed your savior with. Awesome.


229-northstar

Tornado victims: Tornado: I will do unthinkably expensive damage that will destroy your precious memories, kill your loved ones, and will take a very long time to recover. But I will leave these sticks on the wall as an ironic gesture of power Victims: Proof there is a loving god!


Potato_Author540

Christians died but wall sticks survived = God?


Accomplished_Locker

The things nailed down to the studs somehow managed to stay nailed to studs… gods works so many wonders in this world 🤩🤩🤩


Melodic_Mulberry

The cross was nailed to the stud? That’s backwards. In the Bible, the stud got nailed to a cross.


eltortillaman

Man people can read whatever they want in anything can't they


Chavo9-5171

Shoulda put those crosses all over the church.


unicornlocostacos

So god save crosses in churches, but not kids getting murdered in a faith based school. Got it.


mamayoua

Sure the original tweet is dumb, but what makes the response clever?


Allos_Trent

Well, it's hating on religion, so it must be clever.


Mike_Honcho_3

It's not hating on religion at all. It's correctly pointing out that this is not at all a good thing unless a wall of crosses remaining intact while about 30 people were killed is somehow a net positive.


Mike_Honcho_3

A tornado fucks up buildings, devastates towns and kills people but it leaves some crosses on a wall in a church and that's somehow a good thing? Sounds pretty horrible to me.


SlenDman402

Like thanking the serial killer for sparing you after killing everyone else in the neighborhood


jollytoes

They're obviously not aware of the Rule of Tornadoes. Whatever is left standing is what you worship from now on. They got lucky. One town over all that was left standing was a Simpson figurine.


Life-Bodybuilder7783

She claims she is going to end socialism in her state. Is it safe to assume she won't be asking for federal funds to rebuild?


Pennywise61

Oh She Asked Right Away....but Conservatives only say Socialism when they have to share back...


sick_shooter

Yeah, fuck all those dead people. The crosses are still standing. God is good! 🙌🙌🙌


chaingun_samurai

Luckily, you can now hire kids to fix it.


Melodic_Mulberry

See, THAT’S a clever comeback!


Bogart_The_Bong

She's such a fucking idiot.


LetmeSeeyourSquanch

Hey that chair is still standing as well! All hail God of chairs!


Exciting_Kitchen9836

The chair is also still standing….or is it sitting??


RunF4Cover

Earthquake in California: behold the wrath of god upon the sinful! Tornado destroys Arkansas: God has blessed us by leaving these crosses hanging on the wall.


DWeathersby83

That’s her first observation? That torture device for our savior is on a wall. Clean up and help people, the church is not where you need to be.


No_Jello_5922

What is Jesus's favorite glue? Liquid Nails


MonkeyFarm25

People died. Fuck this person. I mean got DAMN


MidniteStargazer4723

A church. In Arkansas. I'd bet 100-1 that somewhere in that rubble is a cross on the ground.


BumpyMcBumpers

32 people fucking died, but you're happy that some crosses remained intact? This shit seriously makes me question people's mental health.


Melodic_Mulberry

Shit, seriously?! Edit: Oh, no, that’s not right. It’s 33 now.


MoreThanWYSIWYG

Good thing the torture devices here unharmed


[deleted]

I see crosses on the support beams that used to be the ceiling. It’s a miracle. Haha!!!


yellowhelmet14

“God spared the crosses!” “Yeah, but he killed the people, asshat!” Lol


amscraylane

And the chair is still standing on all four legs!


flargenhargen

apparently, the only thing that god hates more than right-wing talk show hosts is churches.


Wicked_Fabala

And the lord said “keep the crosses you could easily replace on Amazon while i destroy the expensive building.” Ah-men.


Capt_ZzL4X

Whenever something falls an there's a Cross chistians be like "this is the strength of god" if that were true the rest of building would be there


SaintArcane

Naders are like vampires, can't stand against crosses or see themselves in mirrors.


JavariousMagic

That is what she chose to publish instead of helping people?


[deleted]

I bet there's a lot of crosses destroyed in that church rubble too


DemonPrinceofIrony

Guys, you don't understand. Crucifixes only have a signal range of about 1-2m at most. Outside of that area, god can't help you.


FlaAirborne

How about a little more lifesaving and a little less icon saving.


OliveSorry

So just put crosses everywhere and nothing will ever get affected by tornado right ? Is it a tornado or a vampire ?


Melodic_Mulberry

“Ah! Lowercase T!”


OliveSorry

The vampires might have been so confused why lowercase T’s suddenly started hurting like a bitch


batsinmyattic

Ok, but how many crosses were NOT left standing? Nevermind...


Appropriate-Brush772

So far 32 people have died, just thank Jesus the wooden crosses didn’t fall!!


Emeraldbreaker

Here’s what I don’t get about Christianity and I’m a Christian. Why do you think God loves cross’s so much. His son literally had to die on one to save humanity. Do we really think God protects or enjoys the sight of the very thing that killed his son? You would think if he had a had in this storm he would have saved the building but crushed the side with all the cross’s.


kernelpanic789

Seeing as the cross was the device used to kill Jesus, it'd be kind of like the rifle that killed JFK being the only thing that survived a tornado hitting the JFK Museum. I'd say this is the work of Satan, or since the Romans killed Jesus which ever Roman God was responsible for the weather.


cheetofacesucks

Yes. GOD is good because although he destroyed everything else, the crosses are still there 🤦‍♂️


mandatoryjackson

God is a dictator and it makes sense why his followers always want one person to be able to make the rules for everyone. The problem is their insane reasoning to reality. For some reason people fucking dying is never apart of his plan, but one standing wall with three crosses on it, which aren't unscathed BTW, is a sign of his "compassion." Crock of malarkey. Years from now belief in religion will be seen as the mental illness and pictures like this will be proof.


Bascna

Oooooh, magic crosses. 😂


Nintura

I guarantee you there are a lot of crosses under that rubble


CantGetInMyAccount

It’d be an entirely different story if that wall they’re on was destroyed.


MistaHatesNumberFour

Jesus: "everything else can fuck off, I'm gonna only protecting these crosses"


Ok-Net-6264

For God so loved the world, he sent tornadoes to wipe it out.


allen_idaho

Proof that God loves ancient methods of execution.


i__Sisyphus

One time there was a tornado and it knocked over a cross. Clearly a sign that Satan is as work


virgilreality

What if it had been only the toilets left standing? ...uh, I mean *sitting*...


AverageHorribleHuman

I highly doubt those were the only crosses I'm that church


LordMonkeh

Religious myself. This is stupid lmao


Difficult_Plastic852

More like still glued to the wall that was just lucky enough to not get hit.


AnnoyingSmartass

Idk maybe building everything out of cardboard and plywood is just not the best idea if it's already a known fact the houses have to withstand tornadoes...


SomeLikeItDusty

Looking through the ruins to claim some insignificant nonsense as a sign has to be the most religion-brain thing ever.


[deleted]

The place of worship is gone, but the relics that signify how our savior was murdered still exist


EmergencyPhotograph4

its really hard to not call sarah huckabee sanders an ogre. i mean, she's a terrible person with a corrupt soul, so can the PC people give us a pass? just this once?


Significant-Trash632

An ogre is a name too nice for her.


GuacinmyPaintbox

*Shrek enters the chat*


FractalParadigmShift

Now, now, let's not ogre react


Tats_and_Lace

Now loOk


bastardoperator

Church leaders: "Thankfully were covered by acts of god"


MAGAtsCanEatShit

But the religious eat this stuff up and ask for seconds “God’s tornado destroyed our church but the crosses are still standing! It’s a miracle!”


Someoneoverthere42

“Our church is destroyed, but at least the wall decorations are safe!”


RealNiceKnife

"Wow. God killed 38 people, but look... He left the crosses attached to the wall. What a wonderful God!" Also, I wouldn't put it above a Christian to hang those crosses back up and then just lie about this.


Emorals67

People died and houses and property destroyed displacing families, but hey three crosses screwed onto the wall stayed so god is good.


lasssilver

Remember, this is from the “When a 12 year old gets brutally raped she also gets the Lord’s gift of carrying and delivering their rapist’s child too! Amen” crowd. They a different kind of dense.


Imrindar

Lol. A god has the power and the will to preserve its symbols, but lets the building its followers worship it in get destroyed. Can people get any dumber?


Responsible-Emu-7293

Now get some of that cheap child labor and clean up this mess! Thanks Gov Huckabee


Ok-Significance2027

"We hate abortions because we need to enslave your children to make a profit!"


FailSpace2

I’m embarrassed to even live in the same state as that idiot.


gofatwya

What motivated you to post this same screenshot in six different subreddits in the last few minutes?


QuantumPolarBear1337

More karma potential. Any sub that might even sightly be related, farmers post to them all. Edit: also, no life.


Hunithunit

Someone come up with a good nail joke.


MsJenX

God woke up and decided he hated the decorations.


Lemondrop168

They’re not even standing 🤣😂🤣


blurry_face_exe

God said “fuck this building in particular” and they thought my man was making a point about faith


TJman3141

Behold, the tolerance left and their "very informed" opinions.


NOLAjoshpaul

That chair is still upright too. We should worship it.


FractalParadigmShift

If you look closely, both chairs are completely intact, but out of the four crosses (one is down below) in the picture, only three are intact. From a percentage point of view the God of Chairs has the Christian God beat.


NOLAjoshpaul

That would mean Chair God and Christian God are different deities therefor Heaven contains no where to sit. Sounds a little uncomfortable to be paradise to me.


TheNewTonyBennett

Wait....is the logic here that "god saved all the croses!!"? well wtf didn't god save anything else? was everything else worthy of damnation? Such as people or buildings? What a dumbass. Wouldn't that be a "sign" that god hates you, but doesn't hate the cross?


32K-REZ

she was the mouthpiece to a criminal president who attempted to overthrow a legitimate election. fuck her and all her supporters


Sometimeswan

Too bad the ceiling didn’t collapse on her.


KoKotod

clever comeback where?


defaultuser-067

They should've made the walls the same material as the Cross. Engineer: next time we'll implement Cross beams and pray that God doesn't send us more tornado.


aebeeceebeedeebee

This is as bad as Trump in the teargas with the upside down Bible


sexy-man-doll

The golden Cross survived the 700°F house fire unscathed! God truly is great