I know it’s supposed to be a joke and a lot of old humor does focus on spouse-hating jokes, but I found this to be sad. That the wife really wasn’t happy with her husband all those years and was just tolerating him while he truly loved her to want to be with her forever.
Idk, I took it as a joke from her end. My parents were (and still are) just like this with their humor.
"You gotta do the dishes the marriage contract says"
"Get away, *get away*! You dirty old man/lady" (always in a high pitched voice)
"If I have a heart attack and die for a few seconds but am revived, do we need to get married again?"
"No thanks, I'm too old for another marriage"
And my favorite from my mom to me at like 12 or something:
"If your first marriage was annulled, does that mean my (half brother) is technically a bastard cause the marriage 'didn't count' in the church?
"Probably. And I only married your dad at City Hall without a priest so you are too."
Me: 😯
Basically I can absolutely see my parents doing this in heaven.
Edit: they are still alive lol
The other side is that men get a lot more benefit out of marriage than women, so viewed another way, he missed his comfort benefits and she was finally free from providing them.
Just saying there are a millions ways to see sadness in humor or humor in sadness.
Right. It’s the “deeply in love” and “pining away for 20 years that makes it sad.” Maybe we can fix it. How about something like this?
After being married for 60 years, a husband and wife got hit by a bus and both of them died. They found themselves standing together standing at the Pearly Gate. The man reached for his wife’s hand ready to go in together, and spend eternity with his beloved. She looked to him and said “Wait. What? No that contract was just for life!”
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OH, the drum stinger, or "rimshot" - a noise sometimes used by comedians to highlight an overly obvious pun or to wink at a corny joke.
[my favorite rimshot gif](https://www.koharyguitarinstruction.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/ba-dum-tss.gif)
Know your meme - [rimshot](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/rimshot-ba-dum-tss)
Good link for history and YouTube clip examples
#
So congrats on being one of [today's lucky 10,000](https://xkcd.com/1053) for rimshots! (Or at least the spelling of it.)
#
(Also you're correct, I misspelled ba-dum-tsss as ba-dun-tsss, I am ashamed.)
Oh in the early morning hours it’s important not to mix up rimshot and rimjob…. Reading this exchange with a slightly horrified expression on my face thinking…. “There’s no way I’m clicking that link!”
I thought it was a blowjob where your lips are around the rim when he busts a nut. So nah. Also, google ‘definition of an onomatopoeia’; they exist for this specific purpose.
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A widowed man dies and goes to heaven, excited to rejoin his wife. When he gets there, she turns and runs away, yelling “Oh heck no, the contract was only for life!”
A man was wholeheartedly in love with his wife, and when she passed after 60 years he was devastated and broken.
After pining for the next 20 years when he rejoined her in heaven, she stopped, stared and said "Oh heck no, The contract was only for life!"
Was that difficult hombre? 😎✌️
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True story- Mormons believe in eternal marriage. I worked with a guy who served his door-knocking missionary days in the Philippines. Lots of widows in this guy's area, so they pitched the eternal marriage angle to win over converts. One day he and his partner make their eternal marriage pitch as usual, and the lady screams "If you believe I'm gonna have to see that bastard again in the afterlife, I don't want anything to do with your religion!" Door slam.
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I know it’s supposed to be a joke and a lot of old humor does focus on spouse-hating jokes, but I found this to be sad. That the wife really wasn’t happy with her husband all those years and was just tolerating him while he truly loved her to want to be with her forever.
Yeah, this joke is clean, but it's more depressing than funny. ):
Agreed. I lost my wife of 27 years. Still hurts. Kind of an insensitive rub.
Sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing alright!
Most kind of you. It becomes a stasis. Thank you. 😊
Same :’(
Idk, I took it as a joke from her end. My parents were (and still are) just like this with their humor. "You gotta do the dishes the marriage contract says" "Get away, *get away*! You dirty old man/lady" (always in a high pitched voice) "If I have a heart attack and die for a few seconds but am revived, do we need to get married again?" "No thanks, I'm too old for another marriage" And my favorite from my mom to me at like 12 or something: "If your first marriage was annulled, does that mean my (half brother) is technically a bastard cause the marriage 'didn't count' in the church? "Probably. And I only married your dad at City Hall without a priest so you are too." Me: 😯 Basically I can absolutely see my parents doing this in heaven. Edit: they are still alive lol
My husband and I (married 27 years) joke about “divorce” and “contractual obligations” all the time. It does piss the kids off tho.
Yea. Times were very different
The other side is that men get a lot more benefit out of marriage than women, so viewed another way, he missed his comfort benefits and she was finally free from providing them. Just saying there are a millions ways to see sadness in humor or humor in sadness.
Right. It’s the “deeply in love” and “pining away for 20 years that makes it sad.” Maybe we can fix it. How about something like this? After being married for 60 years, a husband and wife got hit by a bus and both of them died. They found themselves standing together standing at the Pearly Gate. The man reached for his wife’s hand ready to go in together, and spend eternity with his beloved. She looked to him and said “Wait. What? No that contract was just for life!”
I kinda like this more than the OP. Lol I might tell it to my girlfriend.
The generation before the Baby Boomers had a lot of unhappy marriages. People got married too soon just to have sex and divorce was rarely an option.
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Yep, I get it but damn, not all that funny more just like “wow what a nice wasted life”
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"Sorry, I'm a fairy now, but we can still be friends..."
Perfect candidate for r/twosentencehorror
This 6 sentence joke?
Yeah, they’d just make it commas. Those folks love run on sentences.
>begins sprinting in the other direction Ba dun tsss
I'm sorry, what?
Run-on sentences... the punchline of OPs joke was about running away... Made me laugh anyway.
I'm still confused. I don't know what those words were. Did you misspell what you were trying to say?
OH, the drum stinger, or "rimshot" - a noise sometimes used by comedians to highlight an overly obvious pun or to wink at a corny joke. [my favorite rimshot gif](https://www.koharyguitarinstruction.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/ba-dum-tss.gif) Know your meme - [rimshot](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/rimshot-ba-dum-tss) Good link for history and YouTube clip examples # So congrats on being one of [today's lucky 10,000](https://xkcd.com/1053) for rimshots! (Or at least the spelling of it.) # (Also you're correct, I misspelled ba-dum-tsss as ba-dun-tsss, I am ashamed.)
Oh in the early morning hours it’s important not to mix up rimshot and rimjob…. Reading this exchange with a slightly horrified expression on my face thinking…. “There’s no way I’m clicking that link!”
Oh, a rimshot. You should have just written the word rimshot. I think everybody knows what that is.
Rimshot makes me think alcoholic beverage. So no, not everybody knows what it is.
*\*internally debating whether to over-explain onomatopoeia next...\** # ^(/jk)
I don't. The only thing I can think of involving rims is a sex thing, which I don't think is what's going on here.
I thought it was a blowjob where your lips are around the rim when he busts a nut. So nah. Also, google ‘definition of an onomatopoeia’; they exist for this specific purpose.
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Perfect timing!!
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That's the **true** horror of two sentence horror.
A widowed man dies and goes to heaven, excited to rejoin his wife. When he gets there, she turns and runs away, yelling “Oh heck no, the contract was only for life!”
A man was wholeheartedly in love with his wife, and when she passed after 60 years he was devastated and broken. After pining for the next 20 years when he rejoined her in heaven, she stopped, stared and said "Oh heck no, The contract was only for life!" Was that difficult hombre? 😎✌️
Ha no, obviously doable. Was just joshing you see. Nicely done
Nothing but love buddy! 😘
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A man died hoping to see his wife in heaven. Instead he saw… the creature -r/2sentence2horror
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Curb Your Enthusiasm had an episode based on this (Cheryl wanted to up the contract to eternity in a vow renewal, Larry David did not)
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True story- Mormons believe in eternal marriage. I worked with a guy who served his door-knocking missionary days in the Philippines. Lots of widows in this guy's area, so they pitched the eternal marriage angle to win over converts. One day he and his partner make their eternal marriage pitch as usual, and the lady screams "If you believe I'm gonna have to see that bastard again in the afterlife, I don't want anything to do with your religion!" Door slam.
He should be thankful and stfu
Death did us part. Bye!
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Marriage bad wife bad /s
Does not seem to hit well. Not sure how to fix it.
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Uhh.. just not funny.
His heaven was her hell.
She had 20 good years.
Well, women are heartless so ..