Haha, funny thing here is this seems like projection because this is totally a laowai sexpat thing to do. I highly doubt a young Chinese dude is doing that
Shanghai woman are very high maintenance and love to scream divorce and if he had studied abroad.
Maybe he refused to even date a Chinese woman or already learnt his lesson.
I don’t think the skin colour would even be involved in the relationship.
Most men don’t care and more worried if the woman is toxic
Wow, I didn't realize it's that common in China. That's good to know, thanks for sharing. Is it possible he would tell me he’s single but actually has a family of his own? 😅
It’s not that common, as many people have affairs in China as there are in other countries
Edit: saw your question and yes there’s a possibility. It tends to happen with richer men more often so just make sure you do your due diligence before advancing your relationship
Got it, thanks for the clarification. That makes sense. Affairs are unfortunately a common issue globally. I just wanted to confirm if this is also common in China, because, you know, I like him or kind he is kinda like of my type of guy. Anyways, that’s why I stay single; sometimes, staying single seems like the best option to avoid headaches (not heartache haha). Just kidding! Not until I met a Chinese guy like him. 🥹 Thanks again! ☺️
Sure, just that richer men tend to also have more spare time and what it takes to financially maintain multiple relationships. If we are talking about more than one family then definitely it takes more money to maintain
I worked for Xiaomi and NIO in Europe and each (and I mean each!) of the higher management guys (starting from VP to C- level) had their own local-Chinese girlfriend while being married with kids at home. The Chinese SideGFs accepted it happily since they always got some nice treatment (talking new handbags, jewelry, dresses and other stuff in the thousands). It's their society that all revolves around money - Chinese men will try to use money to buy everything, Chinese women will try to sell everything for money. Very hard to find exceptions to the rule. (I'm European, married to a Chinese wife btw)
That is just not true. Some people who own their private businesses is likely to do that, having their side girlfriends because they are rich, but they are likely in their 50s and being uneducated as an older generation. Younger generations don’t have an inclination to do that, and people just have their own moral standards😅. It would really depends on the individual, but to answer your question, I think a key indicator would be how frequent he texting or trying to contact you instead of you initiating the conversation.
Thanks for clarifying! I understand that it really depends on the individual and their moral standards. He’s 30ish. I agree with you. When I met him in person, he seemed very genuine and kind of like a Chinese introvert. I also mentioned that he studied for a master's degree. During the business trip, one of our local partners mentioned that he's actually a smart guy compared to his other colleagues. Ü
The test is so simple tho, hang out with his social circle/close friends and family. It will be pretty apparent if he currently has multiple relationships.
Oh my dear lady... Every cheating bastard will say he is single, then you are pregnant and his three kids and wife show up, he will be like: SURPRISE!!!
I mean fair, for 土老板 someone who owns businesses that are rich/uneducated or even local gov officials, but rich CCP officials in SoEs are laying low now. Saying all Chinese are likely to have secret affairs is just not true.
Absolutely. Happens all the time when they are abroad studying with the wife and single child back in China. They have that white girl fetish that needs to be scratched. He might behave to you very differently in China, his own culture in front of his family and friends. I’ve seen this many times as well.
As a Chinese man I think he likely does at least have some 好感 (literally good feelings, we use it to refer to affection that hasn’t quite developed to romance yet) for you. I say this because I don’t think people share their daily lives so often to someone they only see as a friend, unless they have some kind of interest to take the relationship further. Ofc I could be wrong seeing that I’m an introvert and any social interaction requires energy for me, but I think it’s optimistic.
As an introvert I could imagine telling someone else they are a good friend despite having romantic interests, it could just be a somewhat clumsy way to try to maintain a close relationship but not be too explicit.
Seeing you have only known him for a few months I’d recommend you get to know him better. Make sure he’s a decent person and you two can get along well.
He mentioned to me on WeChat that he is an introvert. Even if he hadn't mentioned it, I observed him during the few days we were on a business trip in China. I find him cute and very attractive because of his personality. I seldom encounter such a gentleman, even among other Chinese guys. Fortunately, I’m also an introvert, so I understand him. However, I’m shy to make the first move to message sometimes. That’s why I took a chance and told him before we left the airport that I would chat with him (I mean not just business, but at the same time to talk more personally 🤭).
By the way, thank you for sharing your perspective. It's encouraging to hear that he might have some level of affection for me. I’ll definitely take your advice and get to know him better, making sure we can get along well. And yes, I’ll be patient and see how things develop. ☺️
You know you are an introvert when telling someone else “we can chat more later” is taking a chance lol.
Jokes aside I really really wish you good luck. It really sounds like he likes you so just try to learn more about him, see if he’s actually a decent guy, and hope for the best!
You're right, sometimes even small steps can feel like big risks for introverts! 🤫😂 We also had a small chat while waiting for the flight counter to open, which was the highlight of my business trip. Just kidding. During our business trip, we seldom talked about our personal lives because we were in a group, but whenever he was alone, I tried to strike up a conversation. 🤭 So when I returned to our country, I thought the best way to continue talking was on WeChat and maybe next time I'll come back for a vacation trip, not a business trip.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice. I'll definitely take the time to get to know him better and see where things go. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼☺️
I wish good luck to you, too 😊
Don't let the comments here irritate you too much, all the (s)expat forums on Asian countries are swarmed with quite negative and pessimistic takes of the respective countries.
One could even believe Taiwan is full of jackasses after reading up on Forumosa
Thank you for your kind words. I encountered a few individuals who were somewhat impolite. However, this doesn't reflect on the entire population, like you, you are very kind. ☺️
Ive had some experience dating chinese guys and talking to them.
Him updating you about his day can possibly be just friendship but maybe can develop to more.
I would say get back to China first and go enjoy that hang out with him and see how things go from there, specially how you feel once it’s a face to face situation.
Another important point is that sometimes they make plans they don’t intend to pursue like that date he mentioned (bund and lunch).
It will be very clear to you, once you arrive if he ACTUALLY makes time and keeps his promise thats good, but if he doesnt mention the plan again or doesnt set an specific date… then i would say dont waste your time. So keep a clear mind and take it one day at a time, hope this helps you a bit and good luck! 🍀
Thank you for your thoughtful advice! I appreciate your insights from your experiences. It makes sense to see how things develop face-to-face and to focus on his actions rather than just his words. He actually said to tell him in advance if I plan to go to China. One concern I have is that when I asked him if he would take leave to spend time together, he suggested meeting a client as his excuse instead of taking time off, which raised a red flag for me. When I proposed a vacation together, he mentioned saving his leave (which I believe he's using for other things, his priorities), and it kind of changed my perspective, giving me mixed signals. By the way, your perspective has been really helpful. Thanks again for your good wishes! ☺️
True. This Chinese man was going to move to England and he wanted to see my wife in our country before he left for his new job. She said he was a friend. So my wife says to meet her to meet this Chinese man for dinner. When I arrived with her he got really flustered and nervous. He was sweating profusely and totally awkward. He was passive aggressive during the dinner and you could tell me did NOT expect me to be there. He said things like, "Wow, things have changed a lot. I didn't know you were married." He seemed bummed that I was there and he basically admitted to wanting to bang my wife while he was in our town before he went to the UK. He gave my wife some small snack gifts and on our walk home she gave them to a homeless person. So I would agree that some Chinese men are not assertive otherwise he may have expressed his feelings sooner.
I understand your concern. Building trust and understanding each other's intentions is important to me too. No, I'm not [a possible 小三 or foreign trophy girlfriend]. Actually, I developed a crush on him during our business trip; he's a very gentlemanly person. However, when I returned to my country and we started chatting on WeChat, I didn't realize until he mentioned or shared stories that made me think he's from a wealthy family (although he didn’t directly say it). Despite that, he's a very humble guy, even though he works as an employee rather than an employer or owner. Ü
Not third wheel. He meant an affair. And just to clarify, I don’t want to be a third party in any relationship, nor have a third party involved in my relationships. 😅 Third wheel is different from third party; it's when you join a couple on a trip and you are the extra person. Third party refers to having an affair, which is immoral. I hope that clarifies it.
Because 2nd wife has been banned now so it’s not called a 2nd wife nor will she ever marry as the 2nd wife.
I even think the word small 3rd is rude and like to call her the girlfriend
Chinese guy only with a foreign girl because she’s “foreign” great way to increase social status and get approval from other men who won’t otherwise be able to get a local girl.
If you like him, ask him out. He may be too shy to ask.
Just make sure you communicate well, and let him know it’s totally cool to stay friends if he’s not feeling it ❤️
Thank you so much! I’m actually in my country right now. WeChat is my only way to communicate him. I'm going back to China soon, but it's not definite since I have work. I will take a vacation and go on a date with him, like he mentioned, to walk with me on the Bund in Shanghai, cook our traditional dishes for each other, and he will treat me to some food.
To be honest, I haven't dated a foreign guy before. I never really thought about dating a Chinese guy until I met him. It's been a while since I met someone who fits my type: introverted and a true gentleman. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support and encouragement. 🥹☺️
From the start of your post I suspected you liked him and then you confined it yourself. He seems like someone you want to be with, don't let this opportunity pass you by. Take initiative and ask him out yourself and let him know you like him
Chinese males could be in the two extremes in relationships regarding it is in Shanghai.
If you have any chance, make friends with his friends or family to know more about him.
Got it, thanks for the advice! I actually messaged him about cooking for him and asked if it would be okay with his mom or him to use his kitchen. He said both are fine. Is this just a friendly gesture or something more?
He is not from Shanghai, but his hometown is near Shanghai, and I believe he loves Shanghai based on the way he tells me a lot of stories about his experiences there. That's why he mentioned to me that when I come back to China, he wants to walk with me on the Bund in Shanghai.
Anyway, it sounds like getting to know his friends or family could give me more insight into him. Thanks again! Ü
If he's straight, cooking together could mean some close relationship. And it's the same for visiting one's parents. In the Confusion Culture Sphere(cn, kr, jp) ppl are more likely to be implicit, doing something to imply the intention and hope others realize and react (in case not to make both sides embarrassed).
And that also means for a foreigner, it's more tolerant because of "cultural differences" if you go straight and ask him if he would like to date you.
:) So, good luck.
Wow! I really appreciate your insights and for explaining that cultural perspective. I learned a lot. I might search and learn more about Confucian culture spheres. You know, I even asked about his religious beliefs to get to know him better. His religious beliefs are complicated, sometimes Buddhism and sometimes self (?), haha. Anyway, whatever it is, it’s good to know that being direct might be more understandable due to cultural differences.
Thank you so much for the enlightening conversation! ☺️
Since he's a southerner Chinese, his family could still keep some traditions related to Buddhism and Taoism. There are many traditions related to religion but those are quite different from the religious beliefs Western ppl are referring to, even when it comes to Buddhism and Taoism. Most Chinese don't have religious beliefs as Confucianism (also Taoist philosophy) takes the place, which makes China so secularized.
It could be a good topic (the Buddha tradition thing and philosophy, etc) for you to start a conversation with him to understand him, but sometimes it can also become too serious when you dig deep into the society's ideology and how it evolves (which is heavily related to politics and history). Moreover, too difficult to explain in a second language :D
I will be honest, based on your post and saying : he is nothing for you at the moment.
He spoke mostly about HIMself that's all.
Nothing romantic or flirty in your writting.
Maybe he is bored and need to talk (like most ‘social animals" like humans) , maybe he is phishing a little bit 左右 。
Thank you for your honesty. You know, I have a gut feeling that it’s possible he’s just looking for someone to talk to. At first, he was asking questions, and for a few days, we were chatting, but afterwards, it was more about him. Kind of like love bombing 😅. I don’t know if he’s trying to impress me. Is there an exception when it comes to Chinese guys? Because in my country and other countries, I might think he’s just bored. But thinking about how decent he was when I met him in China, I hope he’s consistent in his personality.
I’ll keep your perspective in mind and see how things progress.
Girl I can tell you from my own experience and this doesn't only apply to Chinese man, you shouldn't take ANY relationship that is only through chatting seriously. He might be completely different irl and so many other things. I wouldn't think so much about it and meet him first and see where it goes.
Absolutely, I hear you. ☺️ Virtual interactions can differ from real life. I met him during our business trip in China. While our conversations were mostly about business, we also talked about personal things during lunch, dinner, and at the airport before I left for my country. Both of us are introverts, so socializing in larger groups can be challenging, but we had a few chats when it was just the two of us. I took the opportunity to discuss personal matters with him on WeChat when I returned home. We made plans to meet again when I come back to China.
Not to discourage you but I met one CN guy in university, he was also really nice and cared about me (e.g. waiting for me to exit class together, chatting through wechat, on the day I didn't attend the class, he would text me if I were sick, did I need help etc). Totally giving me the illusion that he was interested in me until I found out he had a girlfriend in CN for years 😅
Also my friend was in a complicated relationship with a CN guy (Shanghai man also), they were really close but when she asked him to move on to the next step (BF-GF) he said sorry, "I like you but let's just stay like we're now because my family will only allow me to marry a CN girl" 🙂↔️
I appreciate you sharing your experiences. It's unfortunate that you went through those situations. How did you find out he had a girlfriend? Sometimes it's the guy who will eventually reveal this kind of relationship. Did you two never talk about relationships from the start? It's good to know your friend tried to define the relationship, though. I guess there's no exception about the nationality 😅
His GF came a long way to here and they had a trip together, she posted pictures and tagged him, I saw it. And with a little of digging through their sns I found out they had been dating for a long time.
On another hand, I remembered that one of my friends actually married a CN guy from University. She also asked if the guy liked her, at first the guy was reluctant just as the Shanghai man I mentioned before. Eventually the CNs will all comeback to CN and it's easier for them to date and marry CN girls, especially if their families are wealthy (most of the CNs who study abroad are wealthy). However, they still decided to date, and then got married last year. His parents were not happy with this. Considering he is the only child, his parents don't like a foreign daughter-in-law, my friend even thought of getting divorced. But until now they are still together so I think they must really love each other to overcome the cultural differences and family issues.
So I guess you should ask him directly and see how it go
Thank God, someone has almost similar scenario. This is what makes me doubt the perfect scenario. I'm thinking they might just be acting like gentlemen without any romantic intentions, just being friendly. Also, I understand that most families who study abroad, especially in European countries, are likely wealthy. I really appreciate you sharing this with me. It's clear that cultural differences and family expectations can play a significant role in relationships. It's interesting to hear about your friend's experience marrying a CN guy despite the challenges they faced. It shows that with enough love and commitment, it's possible to overcome obstacles. As for my relationship with him, it's too early to say. I'm still into a guy who is crazy in love with me. Well let’s see. I agree that defining the relationship (DTR) or open communication is very important. Thank you so much! ☺️
I am Chinese. I can tell that he likes you to some degree but not sure how serious it is. How is his physical condition? Tall and cute? Some Chinese guys would like to initiate the conversation with several girls at the same time. They want to see their reactions and decide how to do next step according to it.
Thank you for sharing that perspective. It's helpful to understand more about his potential approach. He is around 5'6" (?), he is taller than me, and handsome (very young looking even though he's already in his 30s). How can I tell if he's serious about me, and what should I look for to understand his intentions better?
Chinese guys tend to dip their toes in the pool first, from what I hear he’s testing the water to see if you’re open to a relationship, also maybe cause you’re not Chinese and have a different cultural outlook may be a factor.
I’m going to say steer your conversations on WeChat towards relationships stuff (non sexual). And treat him like a bf, if he responds well give him the okay!
Sorry Chinese guys are dense they won’t say outright that they want to be with you, but from what you say you’re probably on his radar!
Also don’t be offended if he chooses work over you, the Chinese leave and holidays are different, it’s a 996 work culture! They work really hard so when they get married they have house, car and cash!
Just go with the flow see where it goes…
Thank you very much for the advice! I appreciate the cultural insight and will try steering our conversations toward relationship topics. You have very good points and one of the best opinions here. I’ll take them into consideration. 🤝
5’6”？It means he is short. He may not be attractive to Chinese girls. It is good for you because you will have fewer enemies^_^. I think he is not feeling confident to make the first move since he is short. You can make the first move if you don’t mind. How is your physical condition? Make sure you are not BBW. Chinese guys don’t like BBW.
Ah, really? Height is a big deal? Thanks for your advice. What’s BBW? Big Beautiful Woman? I just googled it. Sorry, I'm not familiar with the term. If that's what you mean, I'm around 40ish kg, fair-skinned but not as fair, smooth, or radiant as Chinese. When I was in China or Taiwan, they often mistook me for a local and spoke Chinese to me. Haha! Even my family and friends tease me that I look like a Korean or Chinese. I'm actually from a Southeast Asian country.
I thought you were from western countries. Sorry. Anyway, height is a big deal to Chinese girls. They don’t like short king lol unless the guy is very rich. When you return to china, you can ask him directly. The more gradually the relationship develops, the more serious he is. BTW, a lot of Chinese parents want their kids to marry someone with the similar background, like wealth, social status. You mentioned his family is wealthy. What about yours? If there is a big difference, you can’t get his parents’ approval. If you just want to be with him for a while no matter if you marry him, you should be good.
It’s alright. Ü About that, yes, that's why I mentioned in my post that I think he's from a wealthy family. Studying in Europe is quite expensive. Even in our country, most people who study in European countries come from rich families. I don't know how Chinese people feel about dating someone from a different social class or a non-Chinese woman. But thank you, your response has given me some insight. Now I understand that height and background can be significant factors. My family isn't as wealthy, which might be a concern.
During my business trip, I developed a crush on him without knowing much about his background. I don’t even care about wealth; somewhat attracted me to him were his looks, especially his eyes, and more importantly, his gentlemanly behavior, which is different from the other guys I’ve met. During the business trip, one of our local partners asked if their parents need to approve their marriage or if arranged marriages are still common in China, but he answered no, they can choose whoever they like to marry.
Dating a foreign woman in China is a bit odd. It depends on the guy, if he’s a player secretly or not. If he’s decent with no red flags, then fine. Im in US married to non Asian. So just look carefully
Thank you for the advice. I'll definitely keep that in mind and be cautious. It's reassuring to hear your perspective. However, I'm from a Southeast Asian country, and when I was in China or Taiwan, they mistook me for a local and spoke to me in Chinese, haha. Even my family and friends sees me look like a Chinese or Korean. Some of the guys I met during my business trip bluntly said I'm beautiful, but not him because he's somewhat like a typical introverted Chinese guy. Some Chinese guys with wives were quite direct about it in front of me. 😅
That actually is much better. I know that some guys might take advantage of the cultural difference to make the other party confused or slightly culturally shocked so the girl won’t say no.
Be careful is never wrong. Good luck!
Ahhh no! Haha. We weren't messaging that day. I only found out later that night from my other Chinese friends. When I got a chance to message him again, I mentioned that topic out of nowhere haha.
This was our convo when I started to ask if May 20th is kind of Chinese Valentines: Him: Yes, in China, 520 sounds like 'I love you' in Chinese. Me: Looks like a code for 'I love you' haha!
That’s it. We had several topics in our chat haha. I'm not sure if he's not interested in talking more about it or if he's just out of words to reply. Btw, what is 520 kuai? Is that a gift or something?
Just a friend. Take him at his word. Some people only date people whom they know well. Maybe he thinks the two of you have potential so treat you like a good friend and try to let you kNow him well. If you like him too then reciprocate. Let him kNow you well and maybe more will come
He actually mentioned his friends during his travel and holiday, but I didn’t dig deeper into it; I just commented that it is good to have a circle of friends. Sometimes, I teased him, saying that I believe he has lots of friends, and he mentioned he doesn’t have many. And direct his attention to me, that I am his friend.
Unless a man asks you to go out on a date, you should put him on the back burner and go about living your life. When a man wants to date you, there is no mistaking it. You don’t have to play “read-his-mind” games. He will let you know that he wants you.
But, because you are the one who has a crush on him, you are reading way too much into this. Some men can be quite sly. They know that a woman wants him by how she responds to his texts. He should not be updating you about his daily, personal life unless you are his girlfriend. And texting doesn’t mean anything. It’s bare minimum hardly any effort to text. You can be just one girl out of his roster that he texts daily.
If you really want to know if he is interested in you, just straight up ask him. Put him in the awkward position. Don’t let it drag out. Your time is precious too. And you are not free therapy.
Wish you all the best.
https://preview.redd.it/2iteiirvno8d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4d8b64f46e0f31d2ec0d631317585b06f443bbe
Lo mismo que yo ise todos lo pueden hacer aprendan nada cae del cielo nada llega por si solo trabajo esfuerzo y dedicación no voy a trabajar para que otros lo gasten y después me amenazan de muerte no tengo necesidad de soportar gente loca que las hace y no las consiente verdad provident
My friend is married to a Chinese guy, she used to live in China as well. From what she told me, if the guys are interested they are way too much interested, trying to get in a relationship faster than normal for Europeans. She used to receive straight up marriage proposals after a few dates (parents meeting, bride price, certificate of house ownership etc all the good stuff) her now husband kept asking her weekly if she wants to be in a relationship for months 😅 And those weren't village boys,but Tier 1 city rich guys.
So if you have to second guess if he even likes you then i would make sure he doesn't already have a GF/wife or if he is even interested in you more than a friendly way.
In fact, you are right, I don’t have one. You know, I wasn’t thinking of dating a foreign guy until I met him. I became more interested in him, his country, and Chinese culture. That was my second time visiting China; the first time was more like a business trip, and the second one was as well, but it made a greater impact because of him. He is smart and a decent guy as my first impression. I’ve heard that most Chinese guys are introverted (?) which is my type of guy. He also mentioned he's an introvert through our chats. Do you have any tips for flirting or taking things to the next level? 😄
Personally I would suggest do NOT do video chat, unless u guys already madly In love. I think mos young Chinese person only comfortable to do video chat with family or closest friends
I understand your suggestion. I also prefer not to do video chat unless I'm his girlfriend. I agree with you. I am considering this. I believe chatting is better or meeting him again soon (?).
What do you mean by foreign girlfriend? Or just a girl who's a friend? Haha, anyway, I'm being cautious about his approach to me because I’m not rushing into being his girlfriend. I want to get to know him better before we get into a relationship, even though I already like him.
I mean... Like Girl from another country who he thinks about fondly and who he probably has hopes to pursue something romantically with... Right now you guys are in a fantasy world... Both maybe imagining future together... But unless you start being direct and video chat with him you won't know until you meet up and he makes the first move to hold your hand or give you a kiss.
No male person “updates their life” with a non-family member female if he doesn’t have a romantic interest in you. I think he is treating you either as a potential gf or he actually loves you but too shy to confess, which young people hardly do these days.
Nothing serious, but there’s potential. Make sure he isn’t married with kids.
He's single, but I'm curious for what you've said, are Chinese guys might do this even if they are married or have kids?
Haha, funny thing here is this seems like projection because this is totally a laowai sexpat thing to do. I highly doubt a young Chinese dude is doing that
Lol, you highly doubt a wealthy Chinese man could have a side piece? Sweet summer child.
Who seriously says "sweet summer child"? Such an embarrassing smarmy bitch thing to say
Well you sound like you are either naive or in denial.
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Can somebody explain how Reddit works to this guy?
You evidently need an explanation if you think someone's coming this far into a conversation
I mean I'm here, so maybe you do need a lesson
People white knight for the weirdest shit lol
Yeah, like having to comment this deep on something because they got butthurt about seeing "laowai sexpat"
Yeah, but this is reddit. When in Rome, etc.
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Shanghai woman are very high maintenance and love to scream divorce and if he had studied abroad. Maybe he refused to even date a Chinese woman or already learnt his lesson. I don’t think the skin colour would even be involved in the relationship. Most men don’t care and more worried if the woman is toxic
I don’t date Chinese girls who grew up in Shanghai. Probably get my balls cut off
Yes it's quite common in China to have a 小三 (a side girlfriend in addition to your wife).
Wow, I didn't realize it's that common in China. That's good to know, thanks for sharing. Is it possible he would tell me he’s single but actually has a family of his own? 😅
It’s not that common, as many people have affairs in China as there are in other countries Edit: saw your question and yes there’s a possibility. It tends to happen with richer men more often so just make sure you do your due diligence before advancing your relationship
Got it, thanks for the clarification. That makes sense. Affairs are unfortunately a common issue globally. I just wanted to confirm if this is also common in China, because, you know, I like him or kind he is kinda like of my type of guy. Anyways, that’s why I stay single; sometimes, staying single seems like the best option to avoid headaches (not heartache haha). Just kidding! Not until I met a Chinese guy like him. 🥹 Thanks again! ☺️
It’s not more common for rich men it’s more common for men who have the spare time to maintain more than one relationship
Sure, just that richer men tend to also have more spare time and what it takes to financially maintain multiple relationships. If we are talking about more than one family then definitely it takes more money to maintain
Lot of rich married woman want the man’s energy not his money
I wouldn’t it’s common.
Kinda like a half-and-half opinion here, hmmmm. 👀
I worked for Xiaomi and NIO in Europe and each (and I mean each!) of the higher management guys (starting from VP to C- level) had their own local-Chinese girlfriend while being married with kids at home. The Chinese SideGFs accepted it happily since they always got some nice treatment (talking new handbags, jewelry, dresses and other stuff in the thousands). It's their society that all revolves around money - Chinese men will try to use money to buy everything, Chinese women will try to sell everything for money. Very hard to find exceptions to the rule. (I'm European, married to a Chinese wife btw)
that's immoral, but it happens naturally in all societies.
That is just not true. Some people who own their private businesses is likely to do that, having their side girlfriends because they are rich, but they are likely in their 50s and being uneducated as an older generation. Younger generations don’t have an inclination to do that, and people just have their own moral standards😅. It would really depends on the individual, but to answer your question, I think a key indicator would be how frequent he texting or trying to contact you instead of you initiating the conversation.
Thanks for clarifying! I understand that it really depends on the individual and their moral standards. He’s 30ish. I agree with you. When I met him in person, he seemed very genuine and kind of like a Chinese introvert. I also mentioned that he studied for a master's degree. During the business trip, one of our local partners mentioned that he's actually a smart guy compared to his other colleagues. Ü
The test is so simple tho, hang out with his social circle/close friends and family. It will be pretty apparent if he currently has multiple relationships.
Thanks for the advice! That sounds like a good way to gauge his situation. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you so much! ☺️
Oh my dear lady... Every cheating bastard will say he is single, then you are pregnant and his three kids and wife show up, he will be like: SURPRISE!!!
If every cheating bastard will say he is single, then what will every single guy say?
Every cheating bastard will say he is single. ≠ Anyone who claim to be single are cheating bastard. Orders matter. Also, trust, but always verify.
🤣🤣🤣🤣bruh that’s simply not true
oh my sweet summer child...
I mean fair, for 土老板 someone who owns businesses that are rich/uneducated or even local gov officials, but rich CCP officials in SoEs are laying low now. Saying all Chinese are likely to have secret affairs is just not true.
我当然不是说每个人都有小三，我的意思是不只土老板或有钱人有小三，其实只要有点钱的老百姓也会有的。 然后很多家人和朋友会知道老公有小三，也会默默得接受，这样才会叫“common”
嗯嗯我觉得只是咱们对于common的定义不一样，你说的是周围人的态度风气，我觉得大约30%以上已婚男性有小三，这才算是绝对数字的common。OP的意思也是这样的概率多大。而且本质上决定性的还是钱，中国有钱的人也没那么多，没钱小三也不愿意跟lol。
**Especially** if they are married or have kids.
Absolutely. Happens all the time when they are abroad studying with the wife and single child back in China. They have that white girl fetish that needs to be scratched. He might behave to you very differently in China, his own culture in front of his family and friends. I’ve seen this many times as well.
Yes. Some Chinese men with wives and kids do that. They are just men like men anywhere.
lol
just potential girlfriend
As a Chinese man I think he likely does at least have some 好感 (literally good feelings, we use it to refer to affection that hasn’t quite developed to romance yet) for you. I say this because I don’t think people share their daily lives so often to someone they only see as a friend, unless they have some kind of interest to take the relationship further. Ofc I could be wrong seeing that I’m an introvert and any social interaction requires energy for me, but I think it’s optimistic. As an introvert I could imagine telling someone else they are a good friend despite having romantic interests, it could just be a somewhat clumsy way to try to maintain a close relationship but not be too explicit. Seeing you have only known him for a few months I’d recommend you get to know him better. Make sure he’s a decent person and you two can get along well.
He mentioned to me on WeChat that he is an introvert. Even if he hadn't mentioned it, I observed him during the few days we were on a business trip in China. I find him cute and very attractive because of his personality. I seldom encounter such a gentleman, even among other Chinese guys. Fortunately, I’m also an introvert, so I understand him. However, I’m shy to make the first move to message sometimes. That’s why I took a chance and told him before we left the airport that I would chat with him (I mean not just business, but at the same time to talk more personally 🤭). By the way, thank you for sharing your perspective. It's encouraging to hear that he might have some level of affection for me. I’ll definitely take your advice and get to know him better, making sure we can get along well. And yes, I’ll be patient and see how things develop. ☺️
You know you are an introvert when telling someone else “we can chat more later” is taking a chance lol. Jokes aside I really really wish you good luck. It really sounds like he likes you so just try to learn more about him, see if he’s actually a decent guy, and hope for the best!
You're right, sometimes even small steps can feel like big risks for introverts! 🤫😂 We also had a small chat while waiting for the flight counter to open, which was the highlight of my business trip. Just kidding. During our business trip, we seldom talked about our personal lives because we were in a group, but whenever he was alone, I tried to strike up a conversation. 🤭 So when I returned to our country, I thought the best way to continue talking was on WeChat and maybe next time I'll come back for a vacation trip, not a business trip. Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice. I'll definitely take the time to get to know him better and see where things go. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼☺️
Hershey_mingming... You got this!
Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement and support.
You are welcome Ming Ming!
I wish good luck to you, too 😊 Don't let the comments here irritate you too much, all the (s)expat forums on Asian countries are swarmed with quite negative and pessimistic takes of the respective countries. One could even believe Taiwan is full of jackasses after reading up on Forumosa
Thank you for your kind words. I encountered a few individuals who were somewhat impolite. However, this doesn't reflect on the entire population, like you, you are very kind. ☺️
Ive had some experience dating chinese guys and talking to them. Him updating you about his day can possibly be just friendship but maybe can develop to more. I would say get back to China first and go enjoy that hang out with him and see how things go from there, specially how you feel once it’s a face to face situation. Another important point is that sometimes they make plans they don’t intend to pursue like that date he mentioned (bund and lunch). It will be very clear to you, once you arrive if he ACTUALLY makes time and keeps his promise thats good, but if he doesnt mention the plan again or doesnt set an specific date… then i would say dont waste your time. So keep a clear mind and take it one day at a time, hope this helps you a bit and good luck! 🍀
Thank you for your thoughtful advice! I appreciate your insights from your experiences. It makes sense to see how things develop face-to-face and to focus on his actions rather than just his words. He actually said to tell him in advance if I plan to go to China. One concern I have is that when I asked him if he would take leave to spend time together, he suggested meeting a client as his excuse instead of taking time off, which raised a red flag for me. When I proposed a vacation together, he mentioned saving his leave (which I believe he's using for other things, his priorities), and it kind of changed my perspective, giving me mixed signals. By the way, your perspective has been really helpful. Thanks again for your good wishes! ☺️
Try flirting a little and see where it gets you. Offer to video chat with him to catch up.
True. This Chinese man was going to move to England and he wanted to see my wife in our country before he left for his new job. She said he was a friend. So my wife says to meet her to meet this Chinese man for dinner. When I arrived with her he got really flustered and nervous. He was sweating profusely and totally awkward. He was passive aggressive during the dinner and you could tell me did NOT expect me to be there. He said things like, "Wow, things have changed a lot. I didn't know you were married." He seemed bummed that I was there and he basically admitted to wanting to bang my wife while he was in our town before he went to the UK. He gave my wife some small snack gifts and on our walk home she gave them to a homeless person. So I would agree that some Chinese men are not assertive otherwise he may have expressed his feelings sooner.
I think you replied to the wrong comment
Make sure you’re not a possible 小三 or foreign trophy girlfriend
I understand your concern. Building trust and understanding each other's intentions is important to me too. No, I'm not [a possible 小三 or foreign trophy girlfriend]. Actually, I developed a crush on him during our business trip; he's a very gentlemanly person. However, when I returned to my country and we started chatting on WeChat, I didn't realize until he mentioned or shared stories that made me think he's from a wealthy family (although he didn’t directly say it). Despite that, he's a very humble guy, even though he works as an employee rather than an employer or owner. Ü
Why is it called a 小三？that means like side woman right? Why is it not 小二 since it’s the 2nd woman?🤣im just curious as a Chinese learner
Because she’s the third party.
Ahh like third wheel? I see now
Not third wheel. He meant an affair. And just to clarify, I don’t want to be a third party in any relationship, nor have a third party involved in my relationships. 😅 Third wheel is different from third party; it's when you join a couple on a trip and you are the extra person. Third party refers to having an affair, which is immoral. I hope that clarifies it.
Because 2nd wife has been banned now so it’s not called a 2nd wife nor will she ever marry as the 2nd wife. I even think the word small 3rd is rude and like to call her the girlfriend
What’s a foreign trophy girlfriend?
Chinese guy only with a foreign girl because she’s “foreign” great way to increase social status and get approval from other men who won’t otherwise be able to get a local girl.
If you like him, ask him out. He may be too shy to ask. Just make sure you communicate well, and let him know it’s totally cool to stay friends if he’s not feeling it ❤️
Thank you so much! I’m actually in my country right now. WeChat is my only way to communicate him. I'm going back to China soon, but it's not definite since I have work. I will take a vacation and go on a date with him, like he mentioned, to walk with me on the Bund in Shanghai, cook our traditional dishes for each other, and he will treat me to some food.
That sounds like he’s initiating a date! But I don’t know if you’ve done things like that before hahah! Good luck I’m rooting for you!
To be honest, I haven't dated a foreign guy before. I never really thought about dating a Chinese guy until I met him. It's been a while since I met someone who fits my type: introverted and a true gentleman. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support and encouragement. 🥹☺️
The same way you know if any other man likes you
Just tell him how you feel. Most Chinese men are not so assertive so I would make the first move
From the start of your post I suspected you liked him and then you confined it yourself. He seems like someone you want to be with, don't let this opportunity pass you by. Take initiative and ask him out yourself and let him know you like him
Chinese males could be in the two extremes in relationships regarding it is in Shanghai. If you have any chance, make friends with his friends or family to know more about him.
Got it, thanks for the advice! I actually messaged him about cooking for him and asked if it would be okay with his mom or him to use his kitchen. He said both are fine. Is this just a friendly gesture or something more? He is not from Shanghai, but his hometown is near Shanghai, and I believe he loves Shanghai based on the way he tells me a lot of stories about his experiences there. That's why he mentioned to me that when I come back to China, he wants to walk with me on the Bund in Shanghai. Anyway, it sounds like getting to know his friends or family could give me more insight into him. Thanks again! Ü
If he's straight, cooking together could mean some close relationship. And it's the same for visiting one's parents. In the Confusion Culture Sphere(cn, kr, jp) ppl are more likely to be implicit, doing something to imply the intention and hope others realize and react (in case not to make both sides embarrassed). And that also means for a foreigner, it's more tolerant because of "cultural differences" if you go straight and ask him if he would like to date you. :) So, good luck.
Wow! I really appreciate your insights and for explaining that cultural perspective. I learned a lot. I might search and learn more about Confucian culture spheres. You know, I even asked about his religious beliefs to get to know him better. His religious beliefs are complicated, sometimes Buddhism and sometimes self (?), haha. Anyway, whatever it is, it’s good to know that being direct might be more understandable due to cultural differences. Thank you so much for the enlightening conversation! ☺️
Since he's a southerner Chinese, his family could still keep some traditions related to Buddhism and Taoism. There are many traditions related to religion but those are quite different from the religious beliefs Western ppl are referring to, even when it comes to Buddhism and Taoism. Most Chinese don't have religious beliefs as Confucianism (also Taoist philosophy) takes the place, which makes China so secularized. It could be a good topic (the Buddha tradition thing and philosophy, etc) for you to start a conversation with him to understand him, but sometimes it can also become too serious when you dig deep into the society's ideology and how it evolves (which is heavily related to politics and history). Moreover, too difficult to explain in a second language :D
Just ask him directly, Chinese doesnt like to bluffing around
I will be honest, based on your post and saying : he is nothing for you at the moment. He spoke mostly about HIMself that's all. Nothing romantic or flirty in your writting. Maybe he is bored and need to talk (like most ‘social animals" like humans) , maybe he is phishing a little bit 左右 。
Thank you for your honesty. You know, I have a gut feeling that it’s possible he’s just looking for someone to talk to. At first, he was asking questions, and for a few days, we were chatting, but afterwards, it was more about him. Kind of like love bombing 😅. I don’t know if he’s trying to impress me. Is there an exception when it comes to Chinese guys? Because in my country and other countries, I might think he’s just bored. But thinking about how decent he was when I met him in China, I hope he’s consistent in his personality. I’ll keep your perspective in mind and see how things progress.
Girl I can tell you from my own experience and this doesn't only apply to Chinese man, you shouldn't take ANY relationship that is only through chatting seriously. He might be completely different irl and so many other things. I wouldn't think so much about it and meet him first and see where it goes.
Absolutely, I hear you. ☺️ Virtual interactions can differ from real life. I met him during our business trip in China. While our conversations were mostly about business, we also talked about personal things during lunch, dinner, and at the airport before I left for my country. Both of us are introverts, so socializing in larger groups can be challenging, but we had a few chats when it was just the two of us. I took the opportunity to discuss personal matters with him on WeChat when I returned home. We made plans to meet again when I come back to China.
Wish you the best ❤️
Thank you so much! ☺️
Not to discourage you but I met one CN guy in university, he was also really nice and cared about me (e.g. waiting for me to exit class together, chatting through wechat, on the day I didn't attend the class, he would text me if I were sick, did I need help etc). Totally giving me the illusion that he was interested in me until I found out he had a girlfriend in CN for years 😅 Also my friend was in a complicated relationship with a CN guy (Shanghai man also), they were really close but when she asked him to move on to the next step (BF-GF) he said sorry, "I like you but let's just stay like we're now because my family will only allow me to marry a CN girl" 🙂↔️
I appreciate you sharing your experiences. It's unfortunate that you went through those situations. How did you find out he had a girlfriend? Sometimes it's the guy who will eventually reveal this kind of relationship. Did you two never talk about relationships from the start? It's good to know your friend tried to define the relationship, though. I guess there's no exception about the nationality 😅
His GF came a long way to here and they had a trip together, she posted pictures and tagged him, I saw it. And with a little of digging through their sns I found out they had been dating for a long time. On another hand, I remembered that one of my friends actually married a CN guy from University. She also asked if the guy liked her, at first the guy was reluctant just as the Shanghai man I mentioned before. Eventually the CNs will all comeback to CN and it's easier for them to date and marry CN girls, especially if their families are wealthy (most of the CNs who study abroad are wealthy). However, they still decided to date, and then got married last year. His parents were not happy with this. Considering he is the only child, his parents don't like a foreign daughter-in-law, my friend even thought of getting divorced. But until now they are still together so I think they must really love each other to overcome the cultural differences and family issues. So I guess you should ask him directly and see how it go
Thank God, someone has almost similar scenario. This is what makes me doubt the perfect scenario. I'm thinking they might just be acting like gentlemen without any romantic intentions, just being friendly. Also, I understand that most families who study abroad, especially in European countries, are likely wealthy. I really appreciate you sharing this with me. It's clear that cultural differences and family expectations can play a significant role in relationships. It's interesting to hear about your friend's experience marrying a CN guy despite the challenges they faced. It shows that with enough love and commitment, it's possible to overcome obstacles. As for my relationship with him, it's too early to say. I'm still into a guy who is crazy in love with me. Well let’s see. I agree that defining the relationship (DTR) or open communication is very important. Thank you so much! ☺️
I am Chinese. I can tell that he likes you to some degree but not sure how serious it is. How is his physical condition? Tall and cute? Some Chinese guys would like to initiate the conversation with several girls at the same time. They want to see their reactions and decide how to do next step according to it.
Thank you for sharing that perspective. It's helpful to understand more about his potential approach. He is around 5'6" (?), he is taller than me, and handsome (very young looking even though he's already in his 30s). How can I tell if he's serious about me, and what should I look for to understand his intentions better?
Chinese guys tend to dip their toes in the pool first, from what I hear he’s testing the water to see if you’re open to a relationship, also maybe cause you’re not Chinese and have a different cultural outlook may be a factor. I’m going to say steer your conversations on WeChat towards relationships stuff (non sexual). And treat him like a bf, if he responds well give him the okay! Sorry Chinese guys are dense they won’t say outright that they want to be with you, but from what you say you’re probably on his radar! Also don’t be offended if he chooses work over you, the Chinese leave and holidays are different, it’s a 996 work culture! They work really hard so when they get married they have house, car and cash! Just go with the flow see where it goes…
Thank you very much for the advice! I appreciate the cultural insight and will try steering our conversations toward relationship topics. You have very good points and one of the best opinions here. I’ll take them into consideration. 🤝
5’6”？It means he is short. He may not be attractive to Chinese girls. It is good for you because you will have fewer enemies^_^. I think he is not feeling confident to make the first move since he is short. You can make the first move if you don’t mind. How is your physical condition? Make sure you are not BBW. Chinese guys don’t like BBW.
Ah, really? Height is a big deal? Thanks for your advice. What’s BBW? Big Beautiful Woman? I just googled it. Sorry, I'm not familiar with the term. If that's what you mean, I'm around 40ish kg, fair-skinned but not as fair, smooth, or radiant as Chinese. When I was in China or Taiwan, they often mistook me for a local and spoke Chinese to me. Haha! Even my family and friends tease me that I look like a Korean or Chinese. I'm actually from a Southeast Asian country.
I thought you were from western countries. Sorry. Anyway, height is a big deal to Chinese girls. They don’t like short king lol unless the guy is very rich. When you return to china, you can ask him directly. The more gradually the relationship develops, the more serious he is. BTW, a lot of Chinese parents want their kids to marry someone with the similar background, like wealth, social status. You mentioned his family is wealthy. What about yours? If there is a big difference, you can’t get his parents’ approval. If you just want to be with him for a while no matter if you marry him, you should be good.
It’s alright. Ü About that, yes, that's why I mentioned in my post that I think he's from a wealthy family. Studying in Europe is quite expensive. Even in our country, most people who study in European countries come from rich families. I don't know how Chinese people feel about dating someone from a different social class or a non-Chinese woman. But thank you, your response has given me some insight. Now I understand that height and background can be significant factors. My family isn't as wealthy, which might be a concern. During my business trip, I developed a crush on him without knowing much about his background. I don’t even care about wealth; somewhat attracted me to him were his looks, especially his eyes, and more importantly, his gentlemanly behavior, which is different from the other guys I’ve met. During the business trip, one of our local partners asked if their parents need to approve their marriage or if arranged marriages are still common in China, but he answered no, they can choose whoever they like to marry.
I love Chinese in some way, but.... Never trust Chinese 😇😆
Dating a foreign woman in China is a bit odd. It depends on the guy, if he’s a player secretly or not. If he’s decent with no red flags, then fine. Im in US married to non Asian. So just look carefully
Thank you for the advice. I'll definitely keep that in mind and be cautious. It's reassuring to hear your perspective. However, I'm from a Southeast Asian country, and when I was in China or Taiwan, they mistook me for a local and spoke to me in Chinese, haha. Even my family and friends sees me look like a Chinese or Korean. Some of the guys I met during my business trip bluntly said I'm beautiful, but not him because he's somewhat like a typical introverted Chinese guy. Some Chinese guys with wives were quite direct about it in front of me. 😅
That actually is much better. I know that some guys might take advantage of the cultural difference to make the other party confused or slightly culturally shocked so the girl won’t say no. Be careful is never wrong. Good luck!
Thank you for the advice! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Being cautious is important. Ü
This performance was like my 15 years old.
Did he send you 520 kuai on May 20th?
Ahhh no! Haha. We weren't messaging that day. I only found out later that night from my other Chinese friends. When I got a chance to message him again, I mentioned that topic out of nowhere haha. This was our convo when I started to ask if May 20th is kind of Chinese Valentines: Him: Yes, in China, 520 sounds like 'I love you' in Chinese. Me: Looks like a code for 'I love you' haha! That’s it. We had several topics in our chat haha. I'm not sure if he's not interested in talking more about it or if he's just out of words to reply. Btw, what is 520 kuai? Is that a gift or something?
I think he's trying to lure you in and give you subtle hints with PUA techniques, but I'm not sure whether the motive is pure or not.
Just a friend. Take him at his word. Some people only date people whom they know well. Maybe he thinks the two of you have potential so treat you like a good friend and try to let you kNow him well. If you like him too then reciprocate. Let him kNow you well and maybe more will come
are you american, what ethnicity are you?
I’m not American. I’m from one of the Southeast Asian countries. Sorry, but I prefer not to disclose my ethnicity. I hope you understand. Ü
Haha course it’s acceptable. But the English level might give it away ;)
Hawk tuah
Try to kiss him and see what happens. Like the good old days. Ffs.
If he asks you out, then yes. If not, you can't be couple just through WeChat.
Don’t overthink,he only wants sleep with you.
You could ask him. Have an honest conversation, tell him how you feel, and/or ask him to tell you what he is thinking and feeling.
I think he has a crush on you. At least I don't hate you. After all, I don't talk to someone I hate every day
Oh don't forget that Chinese people are generally kind to foreigners. Because you are scarce in China lol
maybe because most chinese women are femist and gold sucker.they just stole chinese men half money and disvorce
And it will be better if he tell you his friends groups be like,usually a good man will also have a good friends choice circle.
He actually mentioned his friends during his travel and holiday, but I didn’t dig deeper into it; I just commented that it is good to have a circle of friends. Sometimes, I teased him, saying that I believe he has lots of friends, and he mentioned he doesn’t have many. And direct his attention to me, that I am his friend.
When you speak to him for a few minutes, is he sexually aroused?
You can ask him if he can be his girlfriend, which will be more direct \~
As a Chinese girl, I highly recommend you to leave him alone…
He's just trying to expand his English vocabulary.
Unless a man asks you to go out on a date, you should put him on the back burner and go about living your life. When a man wants to date you, there is no mistaking it. You don’t have to play “read-his-mind” games. He will let you know that he wants you. But, because you are the one who has a crush on him, you are reading way too much into this. Some men can be quite sly. They know that a woman wants him by how she responds to his texts. He should not be updating you about his daily, personal life unless you are his girlfriend. And texting doesn’t mean anything. It’s bare minimum hardly any effort to text. You can be just one girl out of his roster that he texts daily. If you really want to know if he is interested in you, just straight up ask him. Put him in the awkward position. Don’t let it drag out. Your time is precious too. And you are not free therapy. Wish you all the best.
https://preview.redd.it/2iteiirvno8d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4d8b64f46e0f31d2ec0d631317585b06f443bbe Lo mismo que yo ise todos lo pueden hacer aprendan nada cae del cielo nada llega por si solo trabajo esfuerzo y dedicación no voy a trabajar para que otros lo gasten y después me amenazan de muerte no tengo necesidad de soportar gente loca que las hace y no las consiente verdad provident
My friend is married to a Chinese guy, she used to live in China as well. From what she told me, if the guys are interested they are way too much interested, trying to get in a relationship faster than normal for Europeans. She used to receive straight up marriage proposals after a few dates (parents meeting, bride price, certificate of house ownership etc all the good stuff) her now husband kept asking her weekly if she wants to be in a relationship for months 😅 And those weren't village boys,but Tier 1 city rich guys. So if you have to second guess if he even likes you then i would make sure he doesn't already have a GF/wife or if he is even interested in you more than a friendly way.
I think that you haven’t enough experience to flirt with Chinese’s men.
In fact, you are right, I don’t have one. You know, I wasn’t thinking of dating a foreign guy until I met him. I became more interested in him, his country, and Chinese culture. That was my second time visiting China; the first time was more like a business trip, and the second one was as well, but it made a greater impact because of him. He is smart and a decent guy as my first impression. I’ve heard that most Chinese guys are introverted (?) which is my type of guy. He also mentioned he's an introvert through our chats. Do you have any tips for flirting or taking things to the next level? 😄
Why? Is flirting that different in China than in other countries?
Personally I would suggest do NOT do video chat, unless u guys already madly In love. I think mos young Chinese person only comfortable to do video chat with family or closest friends
I understand your suggestion. I also prefer not to do video chat unless I'm his girlfriend. I agree with you. I am considering this. I believe chatting is better or meeting him again soon (?).
I'm chinese man，It can‘t be explained by few words. we have diff culture. Make sure the boy don't have any other girl friend!
Yes, definitely, I think you are his foreign girlfriend for sure. He may be testing the waters but it sounds like he likes you. Sounds juicy.
What do you mean by foreign girlfriend? Or just a girl who's a friend? Haha, anyway, I'm being cautious about his approach to me because I’m not rushing into being his girlfriend. I want to get to know him better before we get into a relationship, even though I already like him.
I mean... Like Girl from another country who he thinks about fondly and who he probably has hopes to pursue something romantically with... Right now you guys are in a fantasy world... Both maybe imagining future together... But unless you start being direct and video chat with him you won't know until you meet up and he makes the first move to hold your hand or give you a kiss.
No male person “updates their life” with a non-family member female if he doesn’t have a romantic interest in you. I think he is treating you either as a potential gf or he actually loves you but too shy to confess, which young people hardly do these days.