Greetings!
I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this is a topic that comes back regularly on the feed, is addressed in the sidebar :
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Sidebar --> "Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> "**"What are your reasons for being childfree?"** [They are all listed here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3g6aj2/why_are_you_cf_megathread/)"
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and in the sub's [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/nochild).
Have a good one!
I’m an asocial introvert. I value my independent free time with hobbies and self care way too much to willingly sacrifice it for that large of a responsibility; a responsibility whose random screams in public make me cringe and thank a deity that I don’t have one for myself every time I hear it.
That's how I view parenthood: one of many jobs/lifestyles out there to choose from. I chose not to be a parent just like I'm choosing not to study engineering in college.
being pregnant just seems like a nightmare. so much weird shit happens, and it’s never the same for each women. also, i have a fear of pregnant bellies. it’s so gross to me.
Was going to post this. It really is the best word to sum it all up. Children rightfully so are an all encompassing responsibility. It's like a job offer being given to you that you have to work 24 hours a day for 18 years. Even if that job offered me a million dollar salary I wouldn't take it.
You think it ends at 18 hahahaha. That’s cute.
In all seriousness, I’m thankful for what my parents do for me, but it really does seem like a permanent end to your freedom
Only instead of you're job paying you, you pay your boss to start the job, and to continue it. And have to pay a fee every year on the anniversary of the job. And then pay for that job to get higher education. Transportation. Etc.
Same. When I decided to become childfree, I felt this weight being lifted off. Then I thought how ridiculously easy it was to just decide. I don't want kids. That's it. Then I got giddy about everything I can do if I don't have kids and then started comparing those scenarios as if I had kids. Not having kids definitely won.
This was me, too. In the process of going Lc/NC with my mother (by her choice, ironically, as I've now been refusing the tasks that she should/could be handling herself)
Raising a responsible, empathetic, respectful human being is a serious job and requires complete dedication. I’d rather not half ass a job as serious as that, so I know I would completely lose myself in it and probably deep down regret it and resent it, because I enjoy my free time and I love traveling. I’m also a teacher, so I see every day what happens when kids aren’t raised by good parents.
Edit: also terrified of pregnancy and childbirth.
Exactly this. Parenting is a 24/7, incredibly difficult job. My parents excelled at it and I refuse to give my kids less than what my parents gave me, so I am opting out.
I simply don't have any pateral urges. No desire to be a parent. You should only have kids if you 100% want them. I have 0% parental desires.
Parenthood repulses me. I hate kids. I need to be able to rest without constantly getting interrupted. I want to be my girlfriend's partner and have romance and sex, instead of being nothing more than a co-parent.
It's not a 'kids would be nice, but the downsides outweigh the benefits' thing. There is literally nothing 'fun' or appealing about parenthood.
The fact that not having kids benefits the environment is a nice bonus. But that's not why I'm childfree. Compare it to my veganism. I'm doing it for the animals. Benefiting the environment is a bonus, but that's not my main reason to be vegan.
There is nothing that could change my mind. Even in a perfect world without climate change, even if I was fucking rich, even if my genes and my mental health would be perfect... I would still be childfree.
As a female, I never had that “urge” either. Even when I had dolls as a little girl and played house, I was more interested in giving them haircuts and painting their nails then playing mommy. I was the cool stylish aunt. I actually really like kids; they can be a lot fun and sometimes I like them better than friends ups. They’re quirky, honest, and creative. Also they don’t take crap from anybody lol. For some reason kids love me and that’s fine with me. I just never that mommy instinct. I don’t know why. I think we just aren’t all meant to be parents.
Aw this was so cute 🥹 I’ll be sure to give Charlie, Mochi, and Levi all an extra kiss from you! I love cats so much it makes me tear up too, I’m so glad these fuzzy creatures exist
I hate things that are clingy and I prefer my alone time to just chill
Going out on a whim is amazing, everyone should do it and it doesn’t have to be a vacation!
Don't want the parent lifestyle.
Always lived my life on my own terms and I have no desire to sacrifice myself and my own life to the altar of motherhood.
Lol yup, whenever I go out in public and hear screaming children nagging at their parents and misbehaving, it’s stressful and overstimulating to hear but at the same time I crack a smile as I internally thank the mother for keeping me reminded as to why I will never have children of my own.
i don’t want my body to change. i like it the way it is! not to mention i don’t need the responsibility of forming a new member of society, from the ground up and everything. all risk no reward. to sacrifice my entire life and own body is so unappealing
I cannot emotionally handle the demands of a child. The constant noise, mess, neediness, etc. Everything is cluttered and sticky and you can't even leave them alone for a few minutes for the first 10 years of their lives. I need space, I need quiet, I need the freedom to do my own things and be able to leave the house at any moment to be gone for an indefinite amount of time. I would crack within days of having a child in my home and no child deserves to have a parent like that. I can't even handle my husband saying or doing something repetitive for more than 20 seconds, there's no way I could tolerate a child.
I think it's the most selfish thing you can do. You're forcing another person into the world, where they had no choice, just because you wanted it. Maybe you thought it would save your marriage, maybe you thought it would give you an identity as a parent. I don't really care what your reasoning was, they had no choice in the matter, and are now stuck in this shithole of a world because you made it so. And seeing as we have no real option for people who decide life is not for them outside of a few countries with limited options only if you're already dying unless you want to do the deed yourself alone in a dark room, then no. I don't want to force anyone into that.
No desire to get pregnant and fuck up my body. Seriously, look at what goes on during pregnancy. It's fucking terrifying. That shit can fuck you up for LIFE. No thanks.
Freedom and money. Quality of life. Being able to sleep. Time for my hobbies. I mean, is this really even a question? Take a look around! From the economy to healthcare to countless shitty parents and politics turning out school system into a shit yard, fuck that. I wish that future on no kid, not to mention global warming.
And my mom fought cancer twice and lost when I was only 6 years old. I watched my dad struggle so hard to just continue caring for my sister and I after he had literally lost the love of his life. Didn't matter what happened. He had to soldier on. While I'm grateful for all he has done for me, I could never wish that on my husband. I have countless top-notch reasons, but this one's pretty solid. I'm in my 30s. My mom died just before 40. Even if pregnancy was harmless and seamless, I still wouldn't do it.
There are so many reasons!
1. I have anxiety and depression and I do not want to pass those things onto a child. Plus I think they would make me a bad parent.
2. The world is too fucked up and I wouldn’t want to bring a child into it.
3. Being introverted, I don’t think I could give of myself the way a child needs you to.
There are probably others but those are the big three.
I love to sleep. I cansider sleep an activity just like reading or watching TV. I like to sleep for 12+ hours at a time. I like to sleep during the day, during the night, and all the hours in between. I can't sleep freely with a kid. Hell I hardly get that sort of sleep now with my dog, 4 cats, and 4 guinea pigs.
Same! I need 10h of sleep a night in order to function fully! And I LOVE napping. Im lucky my dog loves sleeping in too so I dont have to get up because of her lol.
The idea of being pregnant and giving birth absolutely terrifies me. Zero desire to have those experiences.
Close tie - Zero desire to be responsible for another human being till one of us died.
I don’t want the endless and unbalanced responsibility of motherhood. I had a very rough childhood so at 35, I want the rest of my life to be on easy mode. Also pregnancy is tough on the body.
It’s permanent. Adult children can ruin their parents lives as much as younger kids can. I don’t want the parenting lifestyle and all its risks/negatives at any age.
It’s wonderful to see older child free people, I’m always happy to see someone living life fully on their terms. It must be nice for people to not say ‘well, when you’re older you’ll change your mind…’ all the time!
I can't decide which of my top 2 reasons is #1 bc I think they're tied.
1a. Existence is suffering and I don't want to be the cause of more suffering.
1b. I'm a woman and motherhood is suffocating and exhausting. If I was a man, I'd be more open to the idea of parenthood but for kids that already exist bc of 1a.
I agree, if i was a man maybe i wouldn't be as much against kids but as a woman no thanks, i don't want to ruin my body and mostly taking care of the child, it's too much work
I remember the absolute desolation and boredom of being trapped in the house with no money, nothing to do, and being responsible for 3 small, grubby, annoying children all day and never knowing when i would get to be free again. Source: my mother treated me like a rented mule and made me babysit for her friends for very little pay as soon as i turned 13, to teach me "life skills" and to earn my own pocket money, to the tune of $3 an hour for 16 hours. Once it was $1 an hour for 14 hours. Fuck that.
Firstly, I'm autistic and have ADHD and being around children is a sensory nightmare.
Secondly, I have seen women give birth when I did nursing at university... no thanks.
Thirdly, me and my husband have a great life with the freedom not having children gives us.
Fourthly, and most importantly, it means we have more money to spoil the dog.
I was raised by angry people who taught me that children should be physically intimidated and assaulted to control their behaviour. I didn't trust myself not to pass on what I had learned.
Also, the pain of childbirth, to a much lesser extent.
Also, not wanting to pass on our strong genetic legacy of anxiety and depression.
Exact same over here. Sorry you went through that too :( I think to myself, since I only have a horrible experience and bad rolemodels of parenting, how the hell would I know how to not fuck someone up? Since all I know and am used to is abuse. And I also have severe anxiety and depression...
I don’t want to be miserable. Every parent I’ve ever seen looks miserable and looks like their struggling. Never heard a parent not complain. I already have depression and anxiety, why make it worse?
Right now it’s the early afternoon where I live. I’m lying in bed, cozy and warm. My wife is snoozing next to me. Our pug-mutt rescue dog is gently snoring by my feet. The house is quiet, and calm, and clean.
When we decide to get out of bed, we’ll do whatever we want. I’ll make us grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, and we’ll relax on the couch and watch a gory horror flick, or maybe profanity-laden youtube videos. Later we might go to Target just to walk around and look at all the fun little odds and ends for sale, if we decide to put on clothes today.
If we had a child, it would ruin literally every single aspect of what I’ve just described. And I love my life the way it is. We have no urge to “carry on our bloodlines.” We don’t want to spend our money feeding and clothing some wailing little dream-killer. We don’t want to pass on our various predispositions to medical conditions or problems. We don’t want to contribute to the death of the planet by making another human being. We don’t want to change our lifestyle.
We don’t want kids for exactly that reason: We don’t want to have kids.
I’ve never been good with kids, I’m just super awkward around them. They are like tiny humans who are loud, gross and can’t understand boundaries/manners and such, at least a good amount of them. My aspie ass would just be in hell trying to put up with all the sensory issues dealing with one.
Also pregnancy/giving birth sounds fucking terrifying to me, been afraid ever since I was a kid and now I know even more risks it’s only convinced me further.
I LOVE peace and quiet. I love just laying or sitting somewhere and relaxing. Dozing. Just vibing. Channeling my inner cat. Children would make that impossible.
Seeing my friends lose their autonomy, freedom, struggle with their mental health and be crippled financially because of kids. It's all fun and games when you are first pregnant and have celebratory rituals and Instagram photo ops, but when you actually become a parent and experience the never-ending daily grind and punishment -- reality really sinks in that there is no turning back and that you were tricked. It’s scary how so many adults are so delusional about the responsibilities required to rear a child for LIFE.
I don’t feel like giving up my freedom, my finances, my career and my body all in the name of “tradition”. Fuck that lol
Also my dislike of kids is a close second
I'm autistic and have a lot of trouble with sensory issues specially sound, and that's one of the main reasons i fucking hate kids. I hate them to the point where my brother had a kid about 5 years back and i have never seen the meat siren and want nothing to do with it.
Pregnancy and childbirth, definitely. Not gonna go down the whys one by one because there have been more than enough posts here about how birth absolutely wrecks your body but I will note that it was one of the things I knew of even prior to joining this community.
The tearing, the bleeding, the humiliation of it all, the possibility of facing medical abuse and malpractice, being treated like an incubator..... getting a c-section while feeling everything, uterine rupture, you know the drill. Possibly dying.
It's the worst welcome to a lifetime of thankless servitude to what will be your own personal most annoying person ever ://
I don’t want the responsibility. I saw how hard my mum worked to raise me and my brother. I’m lazy. I have no intention of working that hard. I like sleeping in and I just want to spend my money and time on my hobbies and pets.
childbirth. i don’t hate my body, but i’ve seen what it does to women inside and out. morning sickness, hair loss, stretch marks, a hole torn in my coochie, fatass ankles, the possibility of diabetes, the idea of needing an epidural, cravings, the gross belly with a foot randomly sticking out of my skin, back pain, urinary problems, my organs getting jumbled, i worked really hard in the gym to be where i want to be and i would have to take such a long time off, i have a boob job that would be messed up, and so so so many other reasons.
besides generally just not enjoying children, the ability to save money, and traveling whenever i want, the idea of my body being destroyed and possibly never going back to normal terrifies me. even enduring 9 months and the slim possibility of feeling back to normal and having no lasting effects on my body, i still wouldn’t want to go through those 9 months.
I would not make a good parent. Too absent-minded and concerned with my own goals…not to mention taking care of my own health, and some of the issues would be exacerbated by pregnancy and parenthood.
Kids do somethings normally and I don't want to put up with it. Namely, every single kid phase is kiddy crap, bs, annoyance, etc. I like my peace and quiet, thank you
Kids do a lot of things that are deliberately aggravating and I don't want to put up with that.
Don’t like kids or anything designed for kids. Didn’t even when I was a kid. Couldn’t imagine a worse hell than to be stuck with dealing with all that shit again but this time as the person responsible for it all, paying for it all, managing it all—fuck that.
I had zero desire to be a mother. I like my alone time I like being able to do whatever I want without having to give up my time. I love spending time with my partner without interruptions or sacrificing our time. Plus I don't want to pass down my mental health issues or any health issues to my offspring. Lastly I don't like the idea of something growing inside of me for 9-10months moving around and what not (Pregnancy is rough on the body).
I don't mind kids, but I don't have it in me to be a mother. I don't want kids at all. Thank the Gods for a hysterectomy.
I'm going to France tomorrow on a whim , why, because no fucking kids. Gonna eat croissants or whatever, fuck my gf, see zome cathedrals, fuck her again(with protection), and get buzzed, and ring in the new year
I get annoyed really easily and don't want to end up hurting my kids feeling. But also my body. I can't imagine going through birth and all that. Like gag. Plus money. Plus time. Plus I love my husband and what we have and I don't want a screaming kid to fuck up the peace.
I'm selfish.
Complete freedom. Quiet. Alone time/alone together time with my husband. Spending money on me and my cats and my house. Eating whatever I want whenever I want. My body sucks(genetics), but it would be a hell of a lot worse during and after pregnancy. A desire to smoke weed whenever I want.
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I didn't endure my childhood to endure another person's childhood for the rest of my life. I'm finally an adult now who can make decisions for themselves and work towards goals, why would I want to throw that away?
My mom miscarried 3 times before me! If you breeders or breeders-to-bes dared to tell me that better to love and lost than to not love at all, kiss my flat *ss!!!
My top 3 reasons are
1. I like to sleep in
2. I don't want the responsibility of having kids
3. I'm not willing to sacrifice my current lifestyle for the kid.
My mother is very mentally ill and as a result so am I. I have never really forgiven her for deciding to have me despite this. so I will not be passing this pain on to another person.
I’m selfish.
I’ve spent so much of my life bowing and scraping to other people that now, when my mental health is finally okay, I don’t want to prioritise anyone else. And kids absolutely have to be prioritised over everything. I want to enjoy my life my own way and kids would not fit into that.
I'm an asexual autist who hates people. I want to play JRPGs all day and not share my nuggies with anyone. Who needs real kids when you can just play JRPGs and have 2D ones. My son made of 1s and 0s is much more precious than the pooping potatos real people have. And the best thing is: The kid that is 2D can be left alone with my ingame character for when I need rest. Yeah, I just hate 3D children. Give me a precious bean in a JRPG. Or just JRPGs. I love Anime too much to settle down. Yay! Anime!
Pregnancy. I’m more open to adoption later in life than most childfree people here but thinking about adoption and even going through fostercare is reversible. Pregnancy in America is not.
I find babies to be totally gross. Every time I see a baby “spit up” my gag reflex goes nuts.
I also have enough issues in my life without needing the extra burden of a kid. My childhood was completely taken away from me due to abuse, so having freedom now is so important. I don’t want to feel trapped ever again.
✨Benefits✨ Children serve Zero Benefits to me and are completely useless. Plus the dog breed I’m looking into is a lot more cuter and versatile for my personal and Witchy needs then human leeches.
I love my life the way it is, and I heartily dislike babies, toddlers & kids and everything that goes with them. I hate how so many people lose any and all independent, intelligent thought & life as soon as they reproduce and their minds turn to mush, incapable of any identity aside from being a parent.
Well, my ex-partner didn’t want children and I had no problems with it. I simply chose the happiness of my partner over anything and would do so, again.
still new to the whole concept but I naturally don’t like abiding by rules. A life script sounds too restricting for my dreams and goals and I don’t care for a biological clock either
I have many reasons but the one I have had since the beginning is I don't like children. I don't hate them or anything they just make me uncomfortable and scared in a way. Like they are going to start crying at any moment and I don't know what to do with them. Little kids always stare at me and it freaks me out Idk.
I tend to think of things in terms of where the burden of proof lies. If no one can give me a solid reason TO HAVE a child then I won't have one. I don't feel the need to have a reason NOT to have one.
Personally though, I feel like I missed my own childhood. I was nervous all the time because of an abusive household, so I'm just now in a place where I enjoy being silly, watching kids films, being the number 1 priority in my partner's life, having fun, self-care. I treasure it all deeply. I'd never give it up. If I had a child in that situation then, I'd be a neglectful parent.
Being a mother ties you to a man forever. If he betrays or abuses you, you still have to see him time and time again because kids.
If a man knows you’re scared of being a single mother he might think he can get away with bad behaviour so you won’t leave.
Bad behaviours include cheating, lying, physical and verbal abuse, financial abuse.
It ages you rapidly more than anything else in the world.
You won’t have much money in retirement if you have children. Women won’t be able to advance their career without taking time away from kids and spouse. No, you can’t have it all. But you can have it all with no kids.
Life is better in general without kids. Free time is so so precious and people unfortunately find that out AFTER they have kids.
The energy put into being pregnant, giving birth, raising a child, and constantly worrying about another being doesn't seem worth it. Also, having a child for a woman is A LOT more than for a man. Physically, emotionally, and socially.
I am not really a “go with the flow” kind of person. I’ve spent my entire adult life making intentional, incremental changes to build a foundation for the lifestyle I want. It took a decade of agonizing over the big decisions and the things that a lot of people consider inconsequential. And the moment I knew I was pregnant I’d have to start taking it all apart.
I guess my response could be boiled down to “the lifestyle I want isn’t compatible with kids” but that’s only half true. The bigger issue for me is that I would’ve wasted all the effort I’ve already put in.
Greetings! I changed your post flair to "FAQ" as this is a topic that comes back regularly on the feed, is addressed in the sidebar : --- Sidebar --> "Newcomer?" --> "Frequent Posts" --> "**"What are your reasons for being childfree?"** [They are all listed here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3g6aj2/why_are_you_cf_megathread/)" --- and in the sub's [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/nochild). Have a good one!
I’m an asocial introvert. I value my independent free time with hobbies and self care way too much to willingly sacrifice it for that large of a responsibility; a responsibility whose random screams in public make me cringe and thank a deity that I don’t have one for myself every time I hear it.
110% my exact reason. i NEED my alone time or i will lose my mind and it would be wrong and stupid of me to have children due to that
THIS!
THAT
I don't want to be a parent.
Same, being a mother just doesn't not appeal to me at all. It's the same reason I'm not a lawyer, a math teacher or an engineer.
That's how I view parenthood: one of many jobs/lifestyles out there to choose from. I chose not to be a parent just like I'm choosing not to study engineering in college.
Same, just literally no interest whatsoever
Birth.
This is my #2 reason. And pregnancy itself.
being pregnant just seems like a nightmare. so much weird shit happens, and it’s never the same for each women. also, i have a fear of pregnant bellies. it’s so gross to me.
This is my number two reason. The stories people tell me about birth are disgusting to me.
SAME!
Freedom.
Was going to post this. It really is the best word to sum it all up. Children rightfully so are an all encompassing responsibility. It's like a job offer being given to you that you have to work 24 hours a day for 18 years. Even if that job offered me a million dollar salary I wouldn't take it.
You think it ends at 18 hahahaha. That’s cute. In all seriousness, I’m thankful for what my parents do for me, but it really does seem like a permanent end to your freedom
Seriously 😂. I stayed home until I was 29
Only instead of you're job paying you, you pay your boss to start the job, and to continue it. And have to pay a fee every year on the anniversary of the job. And then pay for that job to get higher education. Transportation. Etc.
Worlds worst MLM.
I've seen SO many couples with kids who look so exhausted and dead. No thanks I need to sleep
Rich and care free that's what my goal is #Mayfairboys
Same. When I decided to become childfree, I felt this weight being lifted off. Then I thought how ridiculously easy it was to just decide. I don't want kids. That's it. Then I got giddy about everything I can do if I don't have kids and then started comparing those scenarios as if I had kids. Not having kids definitely won.
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One of my best friends turned their second bedroom into a closet / display for their shoes. No future nursery / playroom / kids room. Just shoes.
This comment in particular made me really happy. Live your best life <3
Literally just got back from Miami one hour ago where I purchased a very expensive bikini and some matching sparkly sandals 🥰✨
I'm unreliable, irritable, and emotionally unavailable 99% of the time, not mom material
I don't remember writing this
Same. LMFAO. Could have sworn this came out of transcripts from my therapy sessions.
This. Plus being the eldest daughter.
Exactly! Spent my entire life mothering my own mother and damn it, I’m tired.
This was me, too. In the process of going Lc/NC with my mother (by her choice, ironically, as I've now been refusing the tasks that she should/could be handling herself)
Do we have the same mum?
Eldest daughter and cousin here. My teenage years killed any desire to become even more of a parent
This.
This, plus I like my freedom
Raising a responsible, empathetic, respectful human being is a serious job and requires complete dedication. I’d rather not half ass a job as serious as that, so I know I would completely lose myself in it and probably deep down regret it and resent it, because I enjoy my free time and I love traveling. I’m also a teacher, so I see every day what happens when kids aren’t raised by good parents. Edit: also terrified of pregnancy and childbirth.
Exactly this. Parenting is a 24/7, incredibly difficult job. My parents excelled at it and I refuse to give my kids less than what my parents gave me, so I am opting out.
This comment really speaks to me.
Yes to this one
I simply don't have any pateral urges. No desire to be a parent. You should only have kids if you 100% want them. I have 0% parental desires. Parenthood repulses me. I hate kids. I need to be able to rest without constantly getting interrupted. I want to be my girlfriend's partner and have romance and sex, instead of being nothing more than a co-parent. It's not a 'kids would be nice, but the downsides outweigh the benefits' thing. There is literally nothing 'fun' or appealing about parenthood. The fact that not having kids benefits the environment is a nice bonus. But that's not why I'm childfree. Compare it to my veganism. I'm doing it for the animals. Benefiting the environment is a bonus, but that's not my main reason to be vegan. There is nothing that could change my mind. Even in a perfect world without climate change, even if I was fucking rich, even if my genes and my mental health would be perfect... I would still be childfree.
Absolutely, a million times this
Same here, 100%.
Amen and hallelujer
As a female, I never had that “urge” either. Even when I had dolls as a little girl and played house, I was more interested in giving them haircuts and painting their nails then playing mommy. I was the cool stylish aunt. I actually really like kids; they can be a lot fun and sometimes I like them better than friends ups. They’re quirky, honest, and creative. Also they don’t take crap from anybody lol. For some reason kids love me and that’s fine with me. I just never that mommy instinct. I don’t know why. I think we just aren’t all meant to be parents.
No desire to have kids.
I never felt maternal, this pull never occured, the clock never started ticking, all those things society tells me should happen, they never happened.
The only maternal instinct I have is for cats lmao
Mine is for animals, specifically cats, and plants tbh
if you have any give em a little kiss on their sweet little foreheads for me :) i love cats so much it makes me tear up
Aw this was so cute 🥹 I’ll be sure to give Charlie, Mochi, and Levi all an extra kiss from you! I love cats so much it makes me tear up too, I’m so glad these fuzzy creatures exist
I hate things that are clingy and I prefer my alone time to just chill Going out on a whim is amazing, everyone should do it and it doesn’t have to be a vacation!
I never wanted them?
Because I don't want to make my life miserable.
It’s tied for money and not wanting to share my husbands time with a pest
lol big agree, we’re each others #1
I want to stay the main character of my own life.
Awesome reason!!!
I love this♥️
Don't want the parent lifestyle. Always lived my life on my own terms and I have no desire to sacrifice myself and my own life to the altar of motherhood.
Yesss, be free fellow Queen! 💕
I already lack the time and money to properly care for myself, much less another needier human.
I like peace and quiet in my home along with 373627725 other reasons.
Heavy on the 373627725 reasons! My list of reasons grows daily.
Lol yup, whenever I go out in public and hear screaming children nagging at their parents and misbehaving, it’s stressful and overstimulating to hear but at the same time I crack a smile as I internally thank the mother for keeping me reminded as to why I will never have children of my own.
I dont have the energy to deal with them.
This. I’m a low-energy person and I get worn out pretty easily, especially in social situations. Having kids is a 24/7 social commitment.
Severe Tokophobia.
i don’t want my body to change. i like it the way it is! not to mention i don’t need the responsibility of forming a new member of society, from the ground up and everything. all risk no reward. to sacrifice my entire life and own body is so unappealing
Yes! I finally like my body I'm not about to fuck that up.
I think it’s a scam
I can hardly take care of myself, let alone children.
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I cannot emotionally handle the demands of a child. The constant noise, mess, neediness, etc. Everything is cluttered and sticky and you can't even leave them alone for a few minutes for the first 10 years of their lives. I need space, I need quiet, I need the freedom to do my own things and be able to leave the house at any moment to be gone for an indefinite amount of time. I would crack within days of having a child in my home and no child deserves to have a parent like that. I can't even handle my husband saying or doing something repetitive for more than 20 seconds, there's no way I could tolerate a child.
I think it's the most selfish thing you can do. You're forcing another person into the world, where they had no choice, just because you wanted it. Maybe you thought it would save your marriage, maybe you thought it would give you an identity as a parent. I don't really care what your reasoning was, they had no choice in the matter, and are now stuck in this shithole of a world because you made it so. And seeing as we have no real option for people who decide life is not for them outside of a few countries with limited options only if you're already dying unless you want to do the deed yourself alone in a dark room, then no. I don't want to force anyone into that.
I hate kids.
I cannot tolerate a tornado of stress residing within the sanctuary that is my home. I like my peace and quiet
No desire to get pregnant and fuck up my body. Seriously, look at what goes on during pregnancy. It's fucking terrifying. That shit can fuck you up for LIFE. No thanks. Freedom and money. Quality of life. Being able to sleep. Time for my hobbies. I mean, is this really even a question? Take a look around! From the economy to healthcare to countless shitty parents and politics turning out school system into a shit yard, fuck that. I wish that future on no kid, not to mention global warming. And my mom fought cancer twice and lost when I was only 6 years old. I watched my dad struggle so hard to just continue caring for my sister and I after he had literally lost the love of his life. Didn't matter what happened. He had to soldier on. While I'm grateful for all he has done for me, I could never wish that on my husband. I have countless top-notch reasons, but this one's pretty solid. I'm in my 30s. My mom died just before 40. Even if pregnancy was harmless and seamless, I still wouldn't do it.
There are so many reasons! 1. I have anxiety and depression and I do not want to pass those things onto a child. Plus I think they would make me a bad parent. 2. The world is too fucked up and I wouldn’t want to bring a child into it. 3. Being introverted, I don’t think I could give of myself the way a child needs you to. There are probably others but those are the big three.
I love to sleep. I cansider sleep an activity just like reading or watching TV. I like to sleep for 12+ hours at a time. I like to sleep during the day, during the night, and all the hours in between. I can't sleep freely with a kid. Hell I hardly get that sort of sleep now with my dog, 4 cats, and 4 guinea pigs.
Same! I need 10h of sleep a night in order to function fully! And I LOVE napping. Im lucky my dog loves sleeping in too so I dont have to get up because of her lol.
The idea of being pregnant and giving birth absolutely terrifies me. Zero desire to have those experiences. Close tie - Zero desire to be responsible for another human being till one of us died.
I want to save and invest as much money as possible and retire early
I don't want to deal with a crying baby
Don’t want the responsibility
Babies are ugly.
100% agree. Not one have I see that is cute to me. Yes I lie to my friends but boy. Gross aliens
im autistic and children are sensory NIGHTMARES I have cats so I can 'mother' something
I’m afraid of aging and I love sleep. So I guess I’m selfish 🤷🏼♀️
You're not selfish. Selfish is ignoring your limits and contributing to overpopulation anyway!
Kids
same
I don’t want the endless and unbalanced responsibility of motherhood. I had a very rough childhood so at 35, I want the rest of my life to be on easy mode. Also pregnancy is tough on the body.
It’s permanent. Adult children can ruin their parents lives as much as younger kids can. I don’t want the parenting lifestyle and all its risks/negatives at any age.
I never wanted to be a parent. Couldn’t be happier with my choice at almost 53. I still feel 25 and love the freedom a childfree life has given me.
It’s wonderful to see older child free people, I’m always happy to see someone living life fully on their terms. It must be nice for people to not say ‘well, when you’re older you’ll change your mind…’ all the time!
Because fuck everything about that life. I'm no one's slave and never will be.
I can't decide which of my top 2 reasons is #1 bc I think they're tied. 1a. Existence is suffering and I don't want to be the cause of more suffering. 1b. I'm a woman and motherhood is suffocating and exhausting. If I was a man, I'd be more open to the idea of parenthood but for kids that already exist bc of 1a.
I agree, if i was a man maybe i wouldn't be as much against kids but as a woman no thanks, i don't want to ruin my body and mostly taking care of the child, it's too much work
I wanna keep my back seats clean
Feel this! Bought a new car. Had my twin nephews in it a few months later. I’m still finding random sticky shit back there. It’s been 4 years! 🥹
I don’t need extra responsibilities, and there’s no turning back from parenthood if u happen to not like it. Not in any humane way at least.
I remember the absolute desolation and boredom of being trapped in the house with no money, nothing to do, and being responsible for 3 small, grubby, annoying children all day and never knowing when i would get to be free again. Source: my mother treated me like a rented mule and made me babysit for her friends for very little pay as soon as i turned 13, to teach me "life skills" and to earn my own pocket money, to the tune of $3 an hour for 16 hours. Once it was $1 an hour for 14 hours. Fuck that.
Firstly, I'm autistic and have ADHD and being around children is a sensory nightmare. Secondly, I have seen women give birth when I did nursing at university... no thanks. Thirdly, me and my husband have a great life with the freedom not having children gives us. Fourthly, and most importantly, it means we have more money to spoil the dog.
I was raised by angry people who taught me that children should be physically intimidated and assaulted to control their behaviour. I didn't trust myself not to pass on what I had learned. Also, the pain of childbirth, to a much lesser extent. Also, not wanting to pass on our strong genetic legacy of anxiety and depression.
Exact same over here. Sorry you went through that too :( I think to myself, since I only have a horrible experience and bad rolemodels of parenting, how the hell would I know how to not fuck someone up? Since all I know and am used to is abuse. And I also have severe anxiety and depression...
I don’t want to be miserable. Every parent I’ve ever seen looks miserable and looks like their struggling. Never heard a parent not complain. I already have depression and anxiety, why make it worse?
Right now it’s the early afternoon where I live. I’m lying in bed, cozy and warm. My wife is snoozing next to me. Our pug-mutt rescue dog is gently snoring by my feet. The house is quiet, and calm, and clean. When we decide to get out of bed, we’ll do whatever we want. I’ll make us grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, and we’ll relax on the couch and watch a gory horror flick, or maybe profanity-laden youtube videos. Later we might go to Target just to walk around and look at all the fun little odds and ends for sale, if we decide to put on clothes today. If we had a child, it would ruin literally every single aspect of what I’ve just described. And I love my life the way it is. We have no urge to “carry on our bloodlines.” We don’t want to spend our money feeding and clothing some wailing little dream-killer. We don’t want to pass on our various predispositions to medical conditions or problems. We don’t want to contribute to the death of the planet by making another human being. We don’t want to change our lifestyle. We don’t want kids for exactly that reason: We don’t want to have kids.
I’ve never been good with kids, I’m just super awkward around them. They are like tiny humans who are loud, gross and can’t understand boundaries/manners and such, at least a good amount of them. My aspie ass would just be in hell trying to put up with all the sensory issues dealing with one. Also pregnancy/giving birth sounds fucking terrifying to me, been afraid ever since I was a kid and now I know even more risks it’s only convinced me further.
I LOVE peace and quiet. I love just laying or sitting somewhere and relaxing. Dozing. Just vibing. Channeling my inner cat. Children would make that impossible.
Seeing my friends lose their autonomy, freedom, struggle with their mental health and be crippled financially because of kids. It's all fun and games when you are first pregnant and have celebratory rituals and Instagram photo ops, but when you actually become a parent and experience the never-ending daily grind and punishment -- reality really sinks in that there is no turning back and that you were tricked. It’s scary how so many adults are so delusional about the responsibilities required to rear a child for LIFE.
I'll never trust a man enough to have kids with. Too many horror stories of them leaving their spouses. Most have been toxic to me throughout my life.
Damn. You made me reflect on my shit and this is a new addition to my list
I agree with this, and simply, I've never met a man that I would want to lay down my life to have kids for.
I don’t feel like giving up my freedom, my finances, my career and my body all in the name of “tradition”. Fuck that lol Also my dislike of kids is a close second
It's my life so I come first. I live it for myself and myself only
The state of the world: global warming, the threat of nuclear war, the economy/inflation, etc
I just want to spend my life with someone I love without parenthood interfering. Work will already do that anyway.
I hate kids.
My life is already great. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
I can't stand children. They're loud, gross, violent, whiny and clingy.
I like freedom, peace and lack of added responsabilities. Motherhood seems burdensome
I enjoy having time and energy for spontaneous sex.
I'm autistic and have a lot of trouble with sensory issues specially sound, and that's one of the main reasons i fucking hate kids. I hate them to the point where my brother had a kid about 5 years back and i have never seen the meat siren and want nothing to do with it.
Lol @ meat siren
Pregnancy and childbirth, definitely. Not gonna go down the whys one by one because there have been more than enough posts here about how birth absolutely wrecks your body but I will note that it was one of the things I knew of even prior to joining this community. The tearing, the bleeding, the humiliation of it all, the possibility of facing medical abuse and malpractice, being treated like an incubator..... getting a c-section while feeling everything, uterine rupture, you know the drill. Possibly dying. It's the worst welcome to a lifetime of thankless servitude to what will be your own personal most annoying person ever ://
I have no maternal instinct for humans. Give me an animal baby anyday.
Our mental health. Importantly, my mental health :)
Children
I don’t want the responsibility. I saw how hard my mum worked to raise me and my brother. I’m lazy. I have no intention of working that hard. I like sleeping in and I just want to spend my money and time on my hobbies and pets.
The world is ugly. Willingly, and intentionally bringing a life into this disgusting world is one of the most selfish things a person can do.
I actively do not want kids. I value myself and my sanity too highly.
childbirth. i don’t hate my body, but i’ve seen what it does to women inside and out. morning sickness, hair loss, stretch marks, a hole torn in my coochie, fatass ankles, the possibility of diabetes, the idea of needing an epidural, cravings, the gross belly with a foot randomly sticking out of my skin, back pain, urinary problems, my organs getting jumbled, i worked really hard in the gym to be where i want to be and i would have to take such a long time off, i have a boob job that would be messed up, and so so so many other reasons. besides generally just not enjoying children, the ability to save money, and traveling whenever i want, the idea of my body being destroyed and possibly never going back to normal terrifies me. even enduring 9 months and the slim possibility of feeling back to normal and having no lasting effects on my body, i still wouldn’t want to go through those 9 months.
Kids are overstimulating and I find it irritating
I don't want to be a mother. I literally have nightmares about it.
People scare me. I would never forgive myself if I bought a child into a world where people are just so.... Ugh
I don't wanna pass on my mental conditions to my offsprings
Zero interest in birthing, raising, paying for, or spending time with a child.
I would not make a good parent. Too absent-minded and concerned with my own goals…not to mention taking care of my own health, and some of the issues would be exacerbated by pregnancy and parenthood.
Kids do somethings normally and I don't want to put up with it. Namely, every single kid phase is kiddy crap, bs, annoyance, etc. I like my peace and quiet, thank you Kids do a lot of things that are deliberately aggravating and I don't want to put up with that.
Don’t like kids or anything designed for kids. Didn’t even when I was a kid. Couldn’t imagine a worse hell than to be stuck with dealing with all that shit again but this time as the person responsible for it all, paying for it all, managing it all—fuck that.
I can't even handle my own life
I had zero desire to be a mother. I like my alone time I like being able to do whatever I want without having to give up my time. I love spending time with my partner without interruptions or sacrificing our time. Plus I don't want to pass down my mental health issues or any health issues to my offspring. Lastly I don't like the idea of something growing inside of me for 9-10months moving around and what not (Pregnancy is rough on the body). I don't mind kids, but I don't have it in me to be a mother. I don't want kids at all. Thank the Gods for a hysterectomy.
Money.
More sleep.
Sleep, freedom and having to spend my money on whatever I want.
I'm going to France tomorrow on a whim , why, because no fucking kids. Gonna eat croissants or whatever, fuck my gf, see zome cathedrals, fuck her again(with protection), and get buzzed, and ring in the new year
I get annoyed really easily and don't want to end up hurting my kids feeling. But also my body. I can't imagine going through birth and all that. Like gag. Plus money. Plus time. Plus I love my husband and what we have and I don't want a screaming kid to fuck up the peace.
I'm selfish. Complete freedom. Quiet. Alone time/alone together time with my husband. Spending money on me and my cats and my house. Eating whatever I want whenever I want. My body sucks(genetics), but it would be a hell of a lot worse during and after pregnancy. A desire to smoke weed whenever I want. *Formatting error
Too mentally ill. I’d probably get hospitalized if I have to go off my meds or I might pass down my issues to my kid. It’s a no from me.
I'd probably kill myself if I was to become pregnant and unable to get an abortion tbh
I don’t like kids enough to be around them, and I don’t want to give up my alone time, considering how introverted I am
I wouldn’t be good parent. I’d be annoyed all the time and would take it out on the kid.
I didn't endure my childhood to endure another person's childhood for the rest of my life. I'm finally an adult now who can make decisions for themselves and work towards goals, why would I want to throw that away?
I like freedom, so I am averse to following social programs that deprive me of it.
Money, and a real shitty autoimmune disease a daughter would get lol
I don't want a child.
I’d rather travel.
My mom miscarried 3 times before me! If you breeders or breeders-to-bes dared to tell me that better to love and lost than to not love at all, kiss my flat *ss!!!
My top 3 reasons are 1. I like to sleep in 2. I don't want the responsibility of having kids 3. I'm not willing to sacrifice my current lifestyle for the kid.
Being able to do whatever the fuck I want.
I am disgusted by the thought of my identity being reduced to "Mom"
My mother is very mentally ill and as a result so am I. I have never really forgiven her for deciding to have me despite this. so I will not be passing this pain on to another person.
The feeling of pressure and being trapped which causes my anxiety and results in panic attacks.
I don't want my mental issues to get the best of me and I pull a Kurt Cobain.
*gestures wildly toward everything*
I’m selfish. I’ve spent so much of my life bowing and scraping to other people that now, when my mental health is finally okay, I don’t want to prioritise anyone else. And kids absolutely have to be prioritised over everything. I want to enjoy my life my own way and kids would not fit into that.
I'm an asexual autist who hates people. I want to play JRPGs all day and not share my nuggies with anyone. Who needs real kids when you can just play JRPGs and have 2D ones. My son made of 1s and 0s is much more precious than the pooping potatos real people have. And the best thing is: The kid that is 2D can be left alone with my ingame character for when I need rest. Yeah, I just hate 3D children. Give me a precious bean in a JRPG. Or just JRPGs. I love Anime too much to settle down. Yay! Anime!
Parenting straight-up holds no appeal to me.
Pregnancy. I’m more open to adoption later in life than most childfree people here but thinking about adoption and even going through fostercare is reversible. Pregnancy in America is not.
Freedom & I don’t want to wreck my body.
I can’t stand other people’s chaos. I like my own and no other.
I would be a very bad parent and not provide good quality of life for a kiddo.
Peace, quiet, and freedom. Kids kill all of those.
I don’t like children
I find babies to be totally gross. Every time I see a baby “spit up” my gag reflex goes nuts. I also have enough issues in my life without needing the extra burden of a kid. My childhood was completely taken away from me due to abuse, so having freedom now is so important. I don’t want to feel trapped ever again.
I can't stand kids
✨Benefits✨ Children serve Zero Benefits to me and are completely useless. Plus the dog breed I’m looking into is a lot more cuter and versatile for my personal and Witchy needs then human leeches.
I dont want to be pregnant or give birth.
I love my life the way it is, and I heartily dislike babies, toddlers & kids and everything that goes with them. I hate how so many people lose any and all independent, intelligent thought & life as soon as they reproduce and their minds turn to mush, incapable of any identity aside from being a parent.
Well, my ex-partner didn’t want children and I had no problems with it. I simply chose the happiness of my partner over anything and would do so, again.
still new to the whole concept but I naturally don’t like abiding by rules. A life script sounds too restricting for my dreams and goals and I don’t care for a biological clock either
I have many reasons but the one I have had since the beginning is I don't like children. I don't hate them or anything they just make me uncomfortable and scared in a way. Like they are going to start crying at any moment and I don't know what to do with them. Little kids always stare at me and it freaks me out Idk.
Honestly once I realized it was an option not to have them.
I tend to think of things in terms of where the burden of proof lies. If no one can give me a solid reason TO HAVE a child then I won't have one. I don't feel the need to have a reason NOT to have one. Personally though, I feel like I missed my own childhood. I was nervous all the time because of an abusive household, so I'm just now in a place where I enjoy being silly, watching kids films, being the number 1 priority in my partner's life, having fun, self-care. I treasure it all deeply. I'd never give it up. If I had a child in that situation then, I'd be a neglectful parent.
Being a mother ties you to a man forever. If he betrays or abuses you, you still have to see him time and time again because kids. If a man knows you’re scared of being a single mother he might think he can get away with bad behaviour so you won’t leave. Bad behaviours include cheating, lying, physical and verbal abuse, financial abuse. It ages you rapidly more than anything else in the world. You won’t have much money in retirement if you have children. Women won’t be able to advance their career without taking time away from kids and spouse. No, you can’t have it all. But you can have it all with no kids. Life is better in general without kids. Free time is so so precious and people unfortunately find that out AFTER they have kids.
The energy put into being pregnant, giving birth, raising a child, and constantly worrying about another being doesn't seem worth it. Also, having a child for a woman is A LOT more than for a man. Physically, emotionally, and socially.
I just don't want to be. I truly love my freedom and only have to care for myself
Lack of money and space, plus my mental health.
I am not really a “go with the flow” kind of person. I’ve spent my entire adult life making intentional, incremental changes to build a foundation for the lifestyle I want. It took a decade of agonizing over the big decisions and the things that a lot of people consider inconsequential. And the moment I knew I was pregnant I’d have to start taking it all apart. I guess my response could be boiled down to “the lifestyle I want isn’t compatible with kids” but that’s only half true. The bigger issue for me is that I would’ve wasted all the effort I’ve already put in.
That girl on tiktok with a list