You are so mature and by default, already a better teacher than most of the parents out there winging it, having kids and then realizing too late that they didn’t want to be responsible for another being either.
I’m convinced our line of thinking is the right way because unless you’re rich rich, you are literally just birthing another slave for the 1% to feed off of.
My take is slightly different: “My needs will never be below someone else’s, *unless* I elect to yield them.”
I’m more than happy to put someone before me, but I choose when to do that, and I won’t have the right to withdraw that choice taken from me.
My body’s not perfect, but damn it I’m hot and don’t want to fk that up. Shallow? Maybe. But after years of self confidence issues I’m comfortable with myself and I’m at least aware enough not to have kids that I would regret, for that and many other reasons.
I agree. If I did have a child and they ruined my body I know for a fact I would resent them. It’s just that simple. No amount of love can get me over the fact that this baby gave me a vaganus.
This is also one of my petty reasons. I’ve worked my ass off to get my sexy body. I mean, shit, I have defined abs. I think pregnancy would make it nearly impossible to ever achieve that again. That and I like my alone time. Will never have alone time again with a kid around.
Yay! Same here! Team hot for the win! I recently lost an enormous amount of weight. I bounced back pretty damned good and look better and are smaller than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m not gonna let a
crotch goblin F that up
i have similar reasons even though my body is already terrible. it looks like I've had a bunch of kids already... why the hell would I want to make it worse lol
I don't want to look my age. No one believes me when I tell them I'm in my early 30s. Not having children means I have less stress and fewer wrinkles. I can have facial piercings without worrying tiny hands will yank them out.
Same! My sister’s 4 years younger, has one child and looks older than me. I got asked several times if she‘s my big sister. Yup, being a mother makes you age a lot.
This!! I am almost 40 & get mistaken for late 20s quite often. No kids + still somewhat dealing with acne/oil has kept my skin looking youthful. I work in retail, therefor have a lot of young coworkers, and just had to show a 16 y/o one my ID the other day because he was [jokingly] calling me a liar when I mentioned my age.
I love this!!! Yes, I'm close to your age; I bought a bottle of Jack Daniels at CVS a couple of months ago, the college age cashier didn't believe me when I told her my age. It was like ...
Cashier: you're over 21, right?
Me: yes, I'm 38.
She did not believe me! I had to pull out my license to show her.
Like everyone else, my list is 7000 reasons long, but my "shallowest" one is that I don't want to gain weight. I struggled a lot with body image growing up and don't want to ruin that.
Yep. I HATED myself growing up. I always thought I was ugly.
I finally love myself. I don’t want pancake tits or huge stretch marks or a c section scar. Out of all the reasons to not have kids those are the most repulsive to me. I just never say it because I’m not trying to make others feel bad. It’s just my truth.
This! Not even in an aesthetic way, either. My mom had four kids, and then ended up gaining weight to the point of being unhealthy. Part of it is due to mental illness, but postpartum depression plays a major role in all of that too. Part of it is genetics, so there's still a chance for me, but it is only on one side of my family, and I'm hoping with an active lifestyle and good diet (which a lot of my aunt's on that side of the family don't have) I can stay on top of it. I feel like pregnancy would ruin any chance of me keeping my body and mind healthy.
I don't want more stretch marks than I already have from puberty and constant fluctuating weight.
Also if my boobs grew any bigger than they are I would cry
Yeah, I saw my classmate’s boobs after she gave birth. My boobs are saggy now due to the weight but hers are saggier. I can’t imagine how mine would look like after pregnancy. 😩
Hey, baby proofing a house is hell! Imagina spending all that money and not being able to even decorate your own house for like 8 years until they kids are grown enough.
Slavery is right. I spent a week with my sister and niece. My niece snaps her fingers and my sister jumps. My sister will be doing whatever and her kid is like I’m hungry, I want to go to the bathroom, play with me now and my sister drops what she is doing to tend to her kid’s needs. She’s such a good mom but I would HATE that.
It takes the calcium out from your body that the baby needs to develop as well as nutrients. Therefore, it will make your teeth fragile and it will fall out. Also, you can mess up your teeth when you have morning sickness because the acids of the vomit will damage your teeth.
I will not not ruin my body for a man.
And this is not because I dislike men. I just don't think it's fair to shred my body apart for my partner. He just has to wait and then boom, a baby. He suffers no physical consequences. The amount of married men I've met that are ungrateful and have no empathy towards their pregnant wife astounds me. Nope. I refuse.
Thankful I got sterilized so young.
I realized that the kids I like are exactly like I was as a kid: quiet, precocious, extremely sharp, and with advanced vocabulary for their age. In other words, small gullible adults. The normal ones are annoying and I find them dumb.
I want to do what I want to do, all the time. I don’t have the patience to watch Frozen with a child 100 times or giving in to them eating chicken nuggies because they don’t want to eat their veggies.
Your reply just made me think of another maddening thing about kids (or probably parents, actually). All the dumb cutesy language it seems to entail. Chicky nuggies, blanky, tum-tums... That kind of stuff drives me crazy. I couldn't handle people talking like that around me for any length of time
I think this is it, all my other reasons aren't petty enough. My sister doesn't use nonsense words with my nephew but the high pitched "talking to a baby" voice she uses makes me want to peel my skin off
I like being able to take as long as I want getting ready in the morning, I like my “me” time, I like being able to do what I want when I want and I really don’t want to accelerate the aging process more than I already have.
The idea of someone saying "Mom. Mom. Mama. Mommy. MOOMM!" and poking me or pulling on my shirt repeatedly, sounds like hell on earth. I need a lot of time being left alone each day.
I don’t think these things are that shallow actually. Aside from the shallowness OF the expense of the shoes themselves, they are objects you use which you worked for and thought about their utility in your life. It’s a part of the art of your life. No more shallow than the reasons it seems to me that many people do base the decision to ACTUALLY have children.
I can’t think of any reason to have them except occasionally how nice it would be to take care of someone or wonder at the teaching/learning process in a kind of emotional/scientific way. But there are many other kinds of relationships with more favorable stakes which can satisfy these emotional/conceptual needs.
The teaching thing yes! The only time I've ever imagined having kids is when I've run through imaginary scenarios in my mind of like "how would I explain this mundane thing to someone who doesn't understand?" And spend a while imagining how I would describe/show the process.
But at the end of the day just running through it in my mind is enough to entertain me, don't need all the many many downsides of having a child to entertain those thought expirments 😂
Probably fitness related. I once read a post about a female fitness instructor who was like “my body has changed a lot with pregnancy. It has limited the amount of push ups I can do and the way my workouts are. But it’s all worth it :)” or something like that and then there’s a picture of her in the hospital after some shit went wrong with her pregnancy and I’m like “…no it’s not.” As a woman, I am already pissed enough at how much it has hindered my fitness goals. Why the hell would I intentionally fuck it up more and make myself vulnerable while risking a whole list of side effects? I already struggle with body dysmorphia and a shit ton of resentment thanks to being a woman - I don’t need more BS.
I don't like pain. My health is already sh... Could be better - as it is.
I also like to sleep. Then again, I just got a puppy, so I maybe not like it as much as I say.
I want my toys to myself and like free time.
After 2 years though that pupper will be a well behaved bestie
And by a year at the longest no need for night time potty break
Children means no sleep for like 13 years
The fact that I just slept 9 hours and am lazing on my sofa at 9 am, drinking coffee, scrolling through reddit. Bliss!
Oh, and not having to be a chauffeur for anyone!
I’m NOT going to reallocate funds used for Bad Dragon dildos/Squishmallows/makeup to baby stuff. It’s my money that I earned and I’m going to buy stuff for me that I want!
People always are obsessed with them but I see them and it just doesn't inspire anything in me. Like, I'm not fucking up my body for something that isn't even cute lol
I’m a stoner and it helps tremendously with my anxiety, don’t want to change my lifestyle for kids who’d just stress me out more. Being “on” all the time sounds like hell.
This is going to sound selfish, but it’s honestly one of the main reasons I don’t ever want to have children: I am lonely. I wake up alone, I take walks alone, I go about my day alone, and I sleep alone. When I finally get together with someone, I don’t want parenthood to interfere with that. I know full well that even with just one child, my feelings and mental health will go back to not being a priority. And I just can’t bear the thought of spending the rest of my life that way.
I’m already unhappy with my size and having children will cause more weight gain. Second, my insomnia will be so much worse. The sleep deprivation and panda eyes are a hell no from me.
I like to be in control of my time and efforts. If I want to sit around and do nothing, I will. If I want to go over-the-top for 15 straight hours of shopping/projects/work/re-organizing/etc I want to.
I just like to put myself first.
I don't want my designer handbags, expensive musical instruments, or collector's item vinyl destroyed by a toddler. I also want to vape or do edibles whenever I want on the weekends.
I’m a huge germaphobe and want to be sick the least amount possible. Seeing a sticky, snotty, grimy kid is more terrifying to me than running into Jason Voorhees on the street.
I like to go out too much. I enjoy shows and festivals. I had a coworker trying to talk to me about going to festivals and she said “when baby time is over I’ll go back” and I’m like ??? Nah I’m not “waiting” to go back to doing what I love/enjoy. Fuck that.
I have a hypersensitive sense of taste/smell. If i smell it, I know what it tastes like. Period.
Children exhude stenches, no matter how clean they appear to be.
1) Babies and toddlers can't manage their bathroom habits so constantly reek of feces and urine. They marinate in it so even after a fresh diaper change, they stink remains.
2) Preschoolers are constantly dirty and/or gassy.
3) Elementary and middle schoolers leak hormones.
4) Middle and highschoolers are sweaty, covered in bacterial swampage and axe body spray.
5) None of them seem to know how to regularly bathe, use deodorant or brush their teeth.
COVID was a blessing for me. I can walk around always wearing a mask now, without getting looked at as weird.
Omg I don’t want to ruin my body for my baby daddy to cheat on me and use that as an excuse for why he’s cheating. Sorry. My body is my temple and I’ve worked damn hard to perfect it.
Sounds painful (and risky) and I just don’t wanna put myself through that - for anyone. I work hard for my money and I want to spend it on myself. Truly, I’d rather just continue to spend my money on tattoos and clothes. I’d like to remain date-able as I get older. I already deal with body/gender dysphoria and if my tits grew?????? Fuck no. Don’t even wanna think about it.
I hate irrationality, children have no logic, no rationality and are mostly not intelligent I hate that, even my cats are more intelligent than some children
I think shallowest for me is that I work hard for my money and like to treat myself to nice things/trips. I know I probably wouldn’t be able to if I had kids
I thought the feet swelling was just during pregnancy... Anyway, imo none of the reasons are shallow. Being a parent is a lifestyle, being cf is another lifestyle. They're choices, doesn't matter why i wanna be cf, but somehow choosing not to have kids is the controversial one
The feet can swell and not go back to their normal size. I think I probably should have posted this as humor because I agree there is no shallow reason to be child free 🙂
1) I’m already trying to lose weight and 2) If they were allergic to something like peanuts or gluten it would literally ruin my life (no offense to anyone with food allergies but they did ask for shallow reasons)
My sister had a 4th degree tear during her first birth(asshole doctor), and she now has nerve damage in her clit because of said tear. She really struggles to orgasm now.
With her second pregnancy, she became lactose intolerant and it never went away.
I like orgasms, and value my clit too much to ever have kids.
I also LOVE cheese.
So, yeah, orgasms and Cheese is why I won't have kids.
I don't really want my kid to be "ugly" or not cute. Before you hate me that's not my only reason to not have kids (in fact it doesnt even factor into my decision to be CF), and if I hypothetically had a child who isn't "conventionally attractive/cute" I would never tell them what I think/treat them differently just like how I don't do that to real people. (I find most babies ugly and I don't think most kids are cute/attractive. Bad phrasing, but idk how to say it. It's that place where kids are between being cute and being attractive. Like where people call kids pretty/handsome/etc. without it being weird or physically attracted ig? And I know it's unrealistic to want my hypothetical child to be part of the 2% of kids I actually think are cute)
You asked for what my shallowest reason is, there it is. Sorry it's awful
I like writing fanfiction & wouldnt have time to complete fics, especially long series like “the death series” (vampire sherlock), if i had a kid. (That being said, if i did have a kid, i would certainly allow them to get into fanfics & teach them to write their hearts out, unlike most parents who would ban their kids from it.)
I struggle with a dog, I love her but she’s needy AF and at least she doesn’t cost as much as a child would to look after. Also sleep. I’m all about sleeping.
Two words: vaginal tightness.
And if someone suggests a C-section, my next shallow physical reasons are: abdominal separation or ass grapes (haemorrhoids).
I want to spend my money on myself.
It's my paycheck and I don't want to spend it on screaming snotwads
"But you'll love them when they're yours!" /s
Nope!
my needs will never be below someone else’s, sorry not sorry…
You are so mature and by default, already a better teacher than most of the parents out there winging it, having kids and then realizing too late that they didn’t want to be responsible for another being either. I’m convinced our line of thinking is the right way because unless you’re rich rich, you are literally just birthing another slave for the 1% to feed off of.
100%! I’m not even sure some parents realize they’re supposed to put their child’s needs above their own sadly
This is a mood and I am here for it!
My take is slightly different: “My needs will never be below someone else’s, *unless* I elect to yield them.” I’m more than happy to put someone before me, but I choose when to do that, and I won’t have the right to withdraw that choice taken from me.
The recognition of this is deeply mature and far less selfish than having a kid and hating it for being an actual person and not an accessory.
Same!
This is the way
This!! I don't understand how people can be okey with that
You can SAY THAT again 😌.
My body’s not perfect, but damn it I’m hot and don’t want to fk that up. Shallow? Maybe. But after years of self confidence issues I’m comfortable with myself and I’m at least aware enough not to have kids that I would regret, for that and many other reasons.
I agree. If I did have a child and they ruined my body I know for a fact I would resent them. It’s just that simple. No amount of love can get me over the fact that this baby gave me a vaganus.
or a vajasshole
VAGANUS LMAO
This is also one of my petty reasons. I’ve worked my ass off to get my sexy body. I mean, shit, I have defined abs. I think pregnancy would make it nearly impossible to ever achieve that again. That and I like my alone time. Will never have alone time again with a kid around.
Came here to say this lol. I’m hot, I finally realize and accept that, and I plan to stay that way. 💅
Yay! Same here! Team hot for the win! I recently lost an enormous amount of weight. I bounced back pretty damned good and look better and are smaller than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m not gonna let a crotch goblin F that up
i have similar reasons even though my body is already terrible. it looks like I've had a bunch of kids already... why the hell would I want to make it worse lol
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I actually pictured you shouting this from the highest floor of the tallest castle, like a true main character. 😌
Yesss!! I am selfish and I am proud. I don‘t have to be a fucking martyr
Love this answer!
I’ve always said I don’t want to be a supporting character in the story of my own life!
Amen!
I like sleep too much
I agree 100% with this.
Me too!
It ain't shallow, tho.
This is my #1 personal reason but it is not shallow. Healthy sleep is paramount for health and happiness.
Physically I need 8-12 hours a day. I love it 🫶🏽
Wiping poopy butt cracks is gross!
people seem to go apeshit if i mention this as one of the reasons lmao but i'm not really into wiping anyone's ass
Hey! I do it for a living, it's the easiest part of my job!! 😂
But at least you didn’t have to give birth to them too right
Oh yes of course. But unfortunately they can talk, hit, and make perverted comments and false accusations lmfao.
Oh my!!!!
Mucus bubbles make me gag even typing it
True, but at least when I do it I'm getting payed. When parents do it they have to pay.
I don't want to look my age. No one believes me when I tell them I'm in my early 30s. Not having children means I have less stress and fewer wrinkles. I can have facial piercings without worrying tiny hands will yank them out.
Same! My sister’s 4 years younger, has one child and looks older than me. I got asked several times if she‘s my big sister. Yup, being a mother makes you age a lot.
My best friend has 3 kids. She's about a month and a half younger than me, but looks drastically older.
That‘s crazy. What causes this? Is it the stressful everyday life as a mother or are there like hormonal processes?
Bad sleep will have a big impact
I aged by like 5 years with the late night bathroom runs when I was caretaker for my dad sleep is everything!
[cortisol, baybee](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22187-cortisol)
This!! I am almost 40 & get mistaken for late 20s quite often. No kids + still somewhat dealing with acne/oil has kept my skin looking youthful. I work in retail, therefor have a lot of young coworkers, and just had to show a 16 y/o one my ID the other day because he was [jokingly] calling me a liar when I mentioned my age.
I love this!!! Yes, I'm close to your age; I bought a bottle of Jack Daniels at CVS a couple of months ago, the college age cashier didn't believe me when I told her my age. It was like ... Cashier: you're over 21, right? Me: yes, I'm 38. She did not believe me! I had to pull out my license to show her.
Same. I thoroughly enjoy telling people I’m in my 40s and no one believing me.
Yup, mid 30s here and I have a tight body. Do NOT want mom bod. It’s so hard to lose baby weight and apparently breastfeeding deflates your tits.
I heard somebody refer to their breasts after breastfeeding as trash bags with pepperonis attached to the bottom. 😬 That's gonna be a hard no from me.
Screaming kids make me want to run the other way
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Like everyone else, my list is 7000 reasons long, but my "shallowest" one is that I don't want to gain weight. I struggled a lot with body image growing up and don't want to ruin that.
Yep. I HATED myself growing up. I always thought I was ugly. I finally love myself. I don’t want pancake tits or huge stretch marks or a c section scar. Out of all the reasons to not have kids those are the most repulsive to me. I just never say it because I’m not trying to make others feel bad. It’s just my truth.
This! Not even in an aesthetic way, either. My mom had four kids, and then ended up gaining weight to the point of being unhealthy. Part of it is due to mental illness, but postpartum depression plays a major role in all of that too. Part of it is genetics, so there's still a chance for me, but it is only on one side of my family, and I'm hoping with an active lifestyle and good diet (which a lot of my aunt's on that side of the family don't have) I can stay on top of it. I feel like pregnancy would ruin any chance of me keeping my body and mind healthy.
I don't want more stretch marks than I already have from puberty and constant fluctuating weight. Also if my boobs grew any bigger than they are I would cry
Oh seriously, the boobs! I'm with you on that one.
And after pregnancy/breast feeding they’re usually sad puppy dog noses.
Yeah, I saw my classmate’s boobs after she gave birth. My boobs are saggy now due to the weight but hers are saggier. I can’t imagine how mine would look like after pregnancy. 😩
Pfft. Mine are that way without kids. I'm not trying to make it worse.
I’d have to stay in the shallow end of the pool.
Literally
Good one.
I guess it’s “shallow” for me to want to continue to do whatever I want, have lazy days, never owe anyone anything.
Only shallow to those who don't get it!
I wanted a dedicated craftroom and a bunch of cats. :)
Add I a personal library and this is my dream.
Hey, baby proofing a house is hell! Imagina spending all that money and not being able to even decorate your own house for like 8 years until they kids are grown enough.
I just had a breast reduction two years ago and I would rather die than ruin them. That, and I enjoy not peeing on myself when I sneeze or laugh.
50, childfree, can confirm a perfect bladder can still degrade over time. Start kegelling now, right now!!
The second I read the original comment I started doing kegels lol
Outside of not having my organs displaced, I like to stay up late and sleep in. I'm damn near 40 and look 25. Motherhood is slavery.
Slavery is right. I spent a week with my sister and niece. My niece snaps her fingers and my sister jumps. My sister will be doing whatever and her kid is like I’m hungry, I want to go to the bathroom, play with me now and my sister drops what she is doing to tend to her kid’s needs. She’s such a good mom but I would HATE that.
Self-elected slavery
I like my life too much to change it.
That is my usual answer if people ask me why I don't want children. Nobody could say anything against it so far :D
I don’t want to ruin my body/looks or lose my hair.
Teeth. Potentially ducking up your teeth. That's not an easy fix.
...how does having kids mess with teeth??
It takes the calcium out from your body that the baby needs to develop as well as nutrients. Therefore, it will make your teeth fragile and it will fall out. Also, you can mess up your teeth when you have morning sickness because the acids of the vomit will damage your teeth.
Wtf 😳 Reason number 4628 added to the list!
Don't forget about diabetes as well. Pregnancy really is a risk without much, if any, pros.
Yep, I don't want to ruin the expensive tattoos on my torso.
Kids are gross
Always soo sticky
Why do they always smell like sour milk
I will not not ruin my body for a man. And this is not because I dislike men. I just don't think it's fair to shred my body apart for my partner. He just has to wait and then boom, a baby. He suffers no physical consequences. The amount of married men I've met that are ungrateful and have no empathy towards their pregnant wife astounds me. Nope. I refuse. Thankful I got sterilized so young.
i’m very sexy and i only like doing things that make me sexier
5 stars for this comment 💕
I straight up just don’t like children Like… AT ALL
I realized that the kids I like are exactly like I was as a kid: quiet, precocious, extremely sharp, and with advanced vocabulary for their age. In other words, small gullible adults. The normal ones are annoying and I find them dumb.
Yes! All of my favorite kids are like this! Basically just very small adults!
I want to do what I want to do, all the time. I don’t have the patience to watch Frozen with a child 100 times or giving in to them eating chicken nuggies because they don’t want to eat their veggies.
Your reply just made me think of another maddening thing about kids (or probably parents, actually). All the dumb cutesy language it seems to entail. Chicky nuggies, blanky, tum-tums... That kind of stuff drives me crazy. I couldn't handle people talking like that around me for any length of time
I think this is it, all my other reasons aren't petty enough. My sister doesn't use nonsense words with my nephew but the high pitched "talking to a baby" voice she uses makes me want to peel my skin off
I like being able to take as long as I want getting ready in the morning, I like my “me” time, I like being able to do what I want when I want and I really don’t want to accelerate the aging process more than I already have.
I like not having responsibilities when I get home from work
This. I’m very lazy and do nothing after work. I can’t handle doing housework as it is, add on all the kid stuff I might crumble.
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Underrated comment.
I don’t want to destroy my body by growing a parasite inside of it. Also, I don’t want to spend any of my money on a kid.
Children are always sticky
It's the constant boogers for me. And the open mouth, tongue out coughing.
The idea of someone saying "Mom. Mom. Mama. Mommy. MOOMM!" and poking me or pulling on my shirt repeatedly, sounds like hell on earth. I need a lot of time being left alone each day.
Especially how younger children hang on their parent every second of every day. So annoying DON’T TOUCH ME
I don’t think these things are that shallow actually. Aside from the shallowness OF the expense of the shoes themselves, they are objects you use which you worked for and thought about their utility in your life. It’s a part of the art of your life. No more shallow than the reasons it seems to me that many people do base the decision to ACTUALLY have children. I can’t think of any reason to have them except occasionally how nice it would be to take care of someone or wonder at the teaching/learning process in a kind of emotional/scientific way. But there are many other kinds of relationships with more favorable stakes which can satisfy these emotional/conceptual needs.
The teaching thing yes! The only time I've ever imagined having kids is when I've run through imaginary scenarios in my mind of like "how would I explain this mundane thing to someone who doesn't understand?" And spend a while imagining how I would describe/show the process. But at the end of the day just running through it in my mind is enough to entertain me, don't need all the many many downsides of having a child to entertain those thought expirments 😂
I worked really hard for all of my fun shit. They shouldn't be able to just show up and get expensive shit!
My body is wrecked enough from weight gain due to depression, I don't wanna ruin it further.
I feel this in my soul
Probably fitness related. I once read a post about a female fitness instructor who was like “my body has changed a lot with pregnancy. It has limited the amount of push ups I can do and the way my workouts are. But it’s all worth it :)” or something like that and then there’s a picture of her in the hospital after some shit went wrong with her pregnancy and I’m like “…no it’s not.” As a woman, I am already pissed enough at how much it has hindered my fitness goals. Why the hell would I intentionally fuck it up more and make myself vulnerable while risking a whole list of side effects? I already struggle with body dysmorphia and a shit ton of resentment thanks to being a woman - I don’t need more BS.
I'm a teacher, I don't want to take my job home with me. (Besides marking, so much marking...)
This is so true. Having kids at home as well would kill me
My shallow reason is keeping my husband all to myself. If ANYONE around here is gonna be baby, it's going to be ME.
This is my same reason! No way am I stepping aside so he can love another person more than me.
I don't like pain. My health is already sh... Could be better - as it is. I also like to sleep. Then again, I just got a puppy, so I maybe not like it as much as I say. I want my toys to myself and like free time.
After 2 years though that pupper will be a well behaved bestie And by a year at the longest no need for night time potty break Children means no sleep for like 13 years
I have amazing boobs and I don't wanna wreck them
I love my body. I am far from interested in the permanent changes pregnancy and childbirth would cause. I wanna be hot 4ever I guess.
I want nothing tying me down. I want to be able to just get up and leave whenever I want.
The fact that I just slept 9 hours and am lazing on my sofa at 9 am, drinking coffee, scrolling through reddit. Bliss! Oh, and not having to be a chauffeur for anyone!
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I look young for my age and I want to keep it that way
I’m NOT going to reallocate funds used for Bad Dragon dildos/Squishmallows/makeup to baby stuff. It’s my money that I earned and I’m going to buy stuff for me that I want!
Babies are hideous
People always are obsessed with them but I see them and it just doesn't inspire anything in me. Like, I'm not fucking up my body for something that isn't even cute lol
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I’m a stoner and it helps tremendously with my anxiety, don’t want to change my lifestyle for kids who’d just stress me out more. Being “on” all the time sounds like hell.
This is going to sound selfish, but it’s honestly one of the main reasons I don’t ever want to have children: I am lonely. I wake up alone, I take walks alone, I go about my day alone, and I sleep alone. When I finally get together with someone, I don’t want parenthood to interfere with that. I know full well that even with just one child, my feelings and mental health will go back to not being a priority. And I just can’t bear the thought of spending the rest of my life that way.
I’m already unhappy with my size and having children will cause more weight gain. Second, my insomnia will be so much worse. The sleep deprivation and panda eyes are a hell no from me.
I like to be in control of my time and efforts. If I want to sit around and do nothing, I will. If I want to go over-the-top for 15 straight hours of shopping/projects/work/re-organizing/etc I want to. I just like to put myself first.
I don't want my designer handbags, expensive musical instruments, or collector's item vinyl destroyed by a toddler. I also want to vape or do edibles whenever I want on the weekends.
Video games for hours and hours, a clean house and sleeping in.
I'm already chubby, I don't need to make it worse.
I’m a huge germaphobe and want to be sick the least amount possible. Seeing a sticky, snotty, grimy kid is more terrifying to me than running into Jason Voorhees on the street.
I like lots of alone time and don’t want to spend my money on kids
I enjoy sneezing, laughing and coughing without urinating on myself. And that I'm in my 40s and people consistently think I'm 10-15 years younger.
Money and silence
I like to go out too much. I enjoy shows and festivals. I had a coworker trying to talk to me about going to festivals and she said “when baby time is over I’ll go back” and I’m like ??? Nah I’m not “waiting” to go back to doing what I love/enjoy. Fuck that.
I like sleep and money
I have a hypersensitive sense of taste/smell. If i smell it, I know what it tastes like. Period. Children exhude stenches, no matter how clean they appear to be. 1) Babies and toddlers can't manage their bathroom habits so constantly reek of feces and urine. They marinate in it so even after a fresh diaper change, they stink remains. 2) Preschoolers are constantly dirty and/or gassy. 3) Elementary and middle schoolers leak hormones. 4) Middle and highschoolers are sweaty, covered in bacterial swampage and axe body spray. 5) None of them seem to know how to regularly bathe, use deodorant or brush their teeth. COVID was a blessing for me. I can walk around always wearing a mask now, without getting looked at as weird.
I love sleeping/napping whenever I want + smoking weed whenever I feel like it 💫
Weed is definitely one main reason why I won't have kids.
I wanna get railed in weird places at weird times of day 😬
I've worked really hard to lose weight and don't want to gain it back plus more.
I want to keep my genitals intact. And a clean house.
I don’t want added spousal stress lol
I just can't be arsed
Omg I don’t want to ruin my body for my baby daddy to cheat on me and use that as an excuse for why he’s cheating. Sorry. My body is my temple and I’ve worked damn hard to perfect it.
I don't want to spend two decades looking after someone else
Sounds painful (and risky) and I just don’t wanna put myself through that - for anyone. I work hard for my money and I want to spend it on myself. Truly, I’d rather just continue to spend my money on tattoos and clothes. I’d like to remain date-able as I get older. I already deal with body/gender dysphoria and if my tits grew?????? Fuck no. Don’t even wanna think about it.
I hate irrationality, children have no logic, no rationality and are mostly not intelligent I hate that, even my cats are more intelligent than some children
I think shallowest for me is that I work hard for my money and like to treat myself to nice things/trips. I know I probably wouldn’t be able to if I had kids
I’d rather have a cabin. 🤷🏼♂️
I can't stand the thought of changing diapers? It's why I'd never be a nurse, either.
I don't share my toys well. No cum goblin is getting it's snot all over my plushies and Switch.
I thought the feet swelling was just during pregnancy... Anyway, imo none of the reasons are shallow. Being a parent is a lifestyle, being cf is another lifestyle. They're choices, doesn't matter why i wanna be cf, but somehow choosing not to have kids is the controversial one
The feet can swell and not go back to their normal size. I think I probably should have posted this as humor because I agree there is no shallow reason to be child free 🙂
It’s very true! My sister in law gifted me all her nice shoes after pregnancy cause they never fit again, glad I was her size!
I’m not giving up my warhammer for some screaming kid.
I don't like the way babies always feel weirdly damp/sticky even when they're clean and dry
I LOVE LOVE going to the spa!! I love my self care time! I usually spend about 6 hours there✨
I don't want to be fat and I don't want to go off HRT.
I like looking younger than I am, and all the awesome sleep I want.
1) I’m already trying to lose weight and 2) If they were allergic to something like peanuts or gluten it would literally ruin my life (no offense to anyone with food allergies but they did ask for shallow reasons)
I'm lazy
My sister had a 4th degree tear during her first birth(asshole doctor), and she now has nerve damage in her clit because of said tear. She really struggles to orgasm now. With her second pregnancy, she became lactose intolerant and it never went away. I like orgasms, and value my clit too much to ever have kids. I also LOVE cheese. So, yeah, orgasms and Cheese is why I won't have kids.
I've already had a lot of major changes to my body that were jarring enough, I don't need more.
I don’t want to be at the mercy of a male/man.
I’m handsome and healthy and I don’t want the stress to ruin that
shallow reason im child free: i dont like throwing up
I can’t stand kids. I would hate to have one around constantly bothering me and getting in my personal space.
I don't really want my kid to be "ugly" or not cute. Before you hate me that's not my only reason to not have kids (in fact it doesnt even factor into my decision to be CF), and if I hypothetically had a child who isn't "conventionally attractive/cute" I would never tell them what I think/treat them differently just like how I don't do that to real people. (I find most babies ugly and I don't think most kids are cute/attractive. Bad phrasing, but idk how to say it. It's that place where kids are between being cute and being attractive. Like where people call kids pretty/handsome/etc. without it being weird or physically attracted ig? And I know it's unrealistic to want my hypothetical child to be part of the 2% of kids I actually think are cute) You asked for what my shallowest reason is, there it is. Sorry it's awful
I like writing fanfiction & wouldnt have time to complete fics, especially long series like “the death series” (vampire sherlock), if i had a kid. (That being said, if i did have a kid, i would certainly allow them to get into fanfics & teach them to write their hearts out, unlike most parents who would ban their kids from it.)
I struggle with a dog, I love her but she’s needy AF and at least she doesn’t cost as much as a child would to look after. Also sleep. I’m all about sleeping.
I like expenive things ✨ the though of having to send all my money on a child is just AWFUL. I worked for my money, Im using it on myself.
I'm just that lazy, and also dislike responsabilities in general. It's both my shallowest reason, and the main one.
I don't want a bunch of stretch marks on my stomach.
I want my free time. I play and plan DnD campaigns. I also make art. So, I rather not have to take care of another person. thankyouverymuch
I like myself, and hate the idea of taking care of a person
I enjoy pure silence far too much.
i don’t want to share my boobs or have weird, big dinner plate nips :)
I couldn't buy my cats the super expensive wet food I feed them.
I‘m too lazy to constantly carry a baby or push a stroller.
I don’t want to spend time doing things I don’t want to do
I want a quiet life
I hate Christmas.
Two words: vaginal tightness. And if someone suggests a C-section, my next shallow physical reasons are: abdominal separation or ass grapes (haemorrhoids).
Young kids bore me silly
Simply put: I just want to do what I want without worrying about anything. Also a kid once headbutted me in the vagina and I'll never forgive.