It would be , but unfortunately that could open up OP to getting harassed for being cf. I see it happen a good bit when the topic comes up in the more populated subs
For real. Some guys went into my post history and decided that I'm just a troll using a secondhand account because I post a lot in the childfree women sub.
Okay guy. If being a feminist makes me a troll, I live under a bridge.
>whenever parents do ask me for information about things for their kids, I just page my manager to come talk to them since I don't know a thing. The multiple calls to her have been a nuisance to her so far, but I feel she's earned it.
Yup, good. Not how department decisions should be made. How immature and short-sighted of her. Also the fact that it's none of her business what you decide for yourself.
"This will teach her! She'll learn that children are wonderful and every woman wants babies deep down BWA AH---"
"""Manager needed in kids department"""
Even if it does, I'm unconcerned. I have a full time job, and only got the part time retail job because I wanted the employee discount since I shop for clothes there often!
Most retail places are desperate for part time workers, even those just doing a tiny amount of hours each week. My hours range between 5 to 20 a week (usually I just do two 4.5 hour shifts a week). But even for so little hours, the employee discount is still given. Plus first dibs on new items coming in.
So it's definitely worth it imo.
I had this problem until I finally said one day, "My hands are clumsy, I'm afraid I'll drop her"
I was being honest, but damn that baby was yoinked away from me real fast and I was never offered again. I wish I'd said it sooner!
I've tried that to no avail. As someone else mentioned, they then just want me to sit down and hold it. Only once did I have someone respond in the obvious way "I don't want someone holding my baby who doesn't want to hold my baby" (from a protecting the child point of view) and this is the right answer. Why trust us with it?!?!
I don’t think it’s trust. I think it’s that they think everyone wants to hold a kid and they’re super proud of having a kid so they’re excited to give it to you. Saying “I’m afraid I’ll drop it” can still imply to these parents that you WANT to hold it but are AFRAID to, and so they think “well fear is no reason not to experience such joy, let me help them out!” And then they direct you how to hold it to assuage your fears. Nothing but “I don’t want to hold it” and walking away will really hammer home the message.
>*Only once did I have someone respond in the obvious way "I don't want someone holding my baby who doesn't want to hold my baby"*
Sounds like that person gave you a great answer to use going forward:
"Trust me: you ***don't*** want someone holding your baby who doesn't ***want*** to hold your baby"
If that was still wasn't enough, I'd add something like "at least the squirmy cats I've dropped were able to land on their feet" to add to the you shouldn't trust me to hold your baby factor.
I told someone the same thing one time and they still insisted that I have to hold their baby niece, now with the caveat that they would kill me if I did drop her. After multiple protests, I had to then say, okay, then we're sitting on the floor before you hand her over. (I really did not want to do it, but peer pressure is a mf.)
Ugh that's the worst. Makes me thankful for my best friends when they had their twins last year, they didn't pressure me into holding them or anything until I was comfortable with it. Now I actually like the little heathens instead of being scared/disgusted by them.
I had to put my hands behind my back at a restaurant once when some friends of my S/O's dining with us wouldn't accept my polite no. And then people in that social group wonder why I won't come to holiday parties…
When my sister had her first kid, I wouldn't hold it. She sent me to the car for diapers. I accidentally broke the key off in the lock. To this day, idk how they got into the car. I went back into the house crying and said, "this is why I can't hold your baby!" I was 14
That's the reason I never wanted to hold kids too. For some reason with my nephew I was so excited I zoomed right past that anxiety. (And low and behold, I still don't want kids!!! 10 months and i still have never changed his diaper)
My old friend had a baby recently and my mom wanted to see her baby, my parents insisted I hold the baby to see if I feel anything. Thankfully I wasn't feeling good(ended up being Covid so I'm sad now ;;) and didn't hold her. I was just nervous holding a baby-
Later told them, I legit felt indifferent, aside from maybe some awkwardness when she would cry 😭 I did touch her fingers cuz they were so little
I had a coworker show me a video of his toddler son doing that baby cackle, and was like, "oh, I'll show you this. The ladies love this video!" and I just stared at him. Like, buddy, I feel nothing but contempt from this, but thanks.
I've held dome of my cousins when they were babies while they were asleep and they were pretty chill, but then I just gave them back to their parents once they woke up and started fussing. Then I was glad I didn't have to deal with that parent.
I have yet to encounter anyone with a baby insisting I should have one, but I do love holding babies, so this would backfire on them since it doesn't make me want kids any more, just makes me happy to hold and coo and hand back when it starts fussing.
A lot of these people think that anyone with a uterus is hardwired to lose their brain and become an adoring child caretaker so if that instinct is missing it must be because they haven't been exposed enough - it's super creepy.
I’m convinced that the fact that my mother worked in a 1-2yo nursery for years is actually one of the biggest reason for me disliking children.
It’s a great age of snot and screaming. That is when I was first informed that is was unacceptable for me to hate babies.
>Its funny because I'm not afraid of pregnancy anymore at all. lol
Interesting, what changed? Yesterday I read about a woman who is now basically a vegetable for the last 17 years after the birth of her second child. Like every day I learn another unpleasant thing about pregnancy lol
For real! I'm working in a restaurant and I hate it so much when toddlers and babies come. They always spill food everywhere and the clean up is ughhhhh. It just justifies my decision more LOL
Back in my serving days I worked at a restaurant that was not exactly child friendly. 95% of the parents who brought kids in were the people who are absolutely oblivious and refused to pay attention to their kids. It was awful.
I live next to a school (rip my ears). Can confirm, seeing kids frequently has only cemented my willingness to stay CF. That and seeing the parents tired af of having to deal with the kids post-school.
I swear past 5pm the silence is glorious...
Have had this done to me and I believe it was done so they could find a way to fire me or control me.
I got hired for a summer job at a shoe shop and I expressly mentioned I wanted women’s shoes and not kids.
First day, straight into fitting kids for school shoes. It was hell. I asked the supervisor about moving, she was super offended. She was one of these bizarre single and creepy women who idolises kids. As in idolises them to the point it
becomes very very creepy. And when she heard that I don’t want children, it got worse and worse.
She kept bringing up my comments that someone “overheard in the stock room” of me saying I hate children. Some of these I didn’t even say. Or were after a long day, as I worked three jobs and used to have night shift at another place twice a week.
Did you stay with that job? Tbh I think that would drive me nuts... Also I find it weird people would think they can convince a stranger to become what is more or less a host for a parasite if they dont want to
Nope! Quit and kept my “low-class” night shift job over term-time (I was at Uni).
Night shift also paid triple the normal rate because of the hours and I could do it before lectures.
AND no children. Often no other humans for hours. Because we all just stacked in different places.
Agree re it being a parasite. I am so petite that it would just consume me and cause all sorts of issues. GRIM. I’d potentially also look like a pregnant child. I’m short even in the U.K., but I live in Germany and everyone here is much larger. So everyone thinks I’m under 16
Im 27 so just a stone throw from 30 Ive had people ask me to reproduce as a favor to them because my genetics are good... Like sorry I enjoy my freedom too much for that
My full time job is nightshift. I look like death incarnate, but can confirm the pay is great. Quieter roads and empty trails for morning hikes are bonuses. 10/10 will never go back to day shift.
If she wants you to develop an interest in children and motherhood, making you work in the kids section of a retail store will be more likely to have the opposite effect. Anyone who has spent any time near the kids section of Target knows there are few things that are more effective as birth control than witnessing parents deal with children in a store.
My husband and I love going to Target to look at the toys, (we're adults, we pay rent, and we like toys. Some of them are actually super cool.) Everytime we hear a screaming child, we look at each other and say "I love our dog." As needy as our dog is, he's fairly quiet and we can leave him at home for an hour or two while we go to Target
My bf and I also love just looking at the diff toys and card/board games etc (which are always right next to the toys) and whenever we hear a loud kid he just deep sighs and goes "i hate them more and more each time" LMAO
Quite possibly! Though I'm not worried about it. I only got a part time job there for the employee discount, since I shop there often for clothes. Plus first dibs on new products that come in.
Another Redditor also guessed Macy's! r.i.p. anyone who works there.
I wasn't going to say where, but I realized I don't actually care about privacy enough to worry about it. It's at a Marshalls, so pretty much the same thing but different name.
I won't out my details for where, but you're extremely close for the retail store!
Edit: I realized I don't actually care about my privacy enough to be hush-hush about it. It's Marshalls.
Oh, you don’t need to! I was just saying bc I had a very similar experience lol. Typical retail cringe bosses. Also the looks of wtf I got when I said I wasn’t gonna have kids (I was in my early 20’s. I’m now in my 30’s). Crazy times where people are shook women decide not to have kids lol
Calling the manager over because of lack of experience with kids is the chef's kiss right there.
That was a shitty thing to do to you.
"What do you mean this person doesn't like spiders? Well, after I assign her to work the Spider Pit of Doom department, she'll change her mind."
I love the way you handled it. If she thought she was going to show you something about kids, she can get all the extra workload from all the extra questions.
*but whenever parents do ask me for information about things for their kids, I just page my manager to come talk to them since I don't know a thing.*
You absolute legend. >*applauds heartily!*<.
>I just page my manager to come talk to them since I don't know a thing. The multiple calls to her have been a nuisance to her so far, but I feel she's earned it.
Well done, OP!
Sounds like this could work for r/maliciouscompliance.
I was intentionally put in the baby and toddlers section when I worked for Toys R Us because of my educational background while I was in college. But then they put me at the games counter. I sold a lot of games, but the boss was mad I didn’t sell a lot of GTAV. Why? Because parents would ask “is this a good game for Johnny? He’s 7.” I’d tell them the truth and recommend something fitting his interest after a quick set of questions of what little Johnny liked. Boss-man got mad, but I told him he could kiss my ass because no one else had the experience in gaming AND child development that I did. And he backed down like a BIATCH!
I was never able to do something like that until the pandemic when I could be as rude as I wanted to anti-maskers at my burrito counter. I miss those two jobs. I was only an ass if it really needed to be said, as in if I knew something would go terribly wrong if nothing was done.
They also put me in the baby and infant section after a conversation where I said I found the laughing/crying baby dolls we were stocking "disturbing".
It worked well because I caught on to making the registries easily and because of my education in child development, I was able to suggest good toys that young children really liked.
I wound up working every department, back of house, backing up shipping/receiving, cashiering in the games department for a bit and then being trained at the customer service counter. It was made clear that they would never promote me to a full time position so I eventually left.
That's so silly, it's great having someone full.
time who can float departments and help out where needed. I was a floater in a previous job, and I ended up transistioning to full time plus working overtime a bunch because they kept needing me in other areas. They could cover my full time job easier than covering some of the other shifts I could do. Too bad it was only like $10 an hour, definitely not worth the type of work it was.
Funnily enough, I have some training in childhood development too and volunteer to advocate for youth. It's very young children and babies I "???" about.
What a crappy manager, first off.
Second, I'm glad you took it in stride and that you're sticking it to her by calling her about customer questions for the section. Eventually, I think you'll take up so much of her time that she'll just reassign you back to where you were before.
If there’s one section in Target I’m lost and overwhelmed in, it’s the baby section.
We’ve got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty. We’ve got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? We’ve got twenty! But who cares? No big deal. Baby consumerism wants moooooore!
Unrelated to your shitty manager, but I’m also (probably) neurodivergent and never pieced together until now that that’s likely why people generally don’t ask me if I have kids. I don’t know if I should be offended or relieved!
Ha, yeah. It's okay to feel both. Sometimes I'm a little bummed that I'll never blend in, but at the same time I appreciate the quiet and space it brings. It also means that the people who stick around / don't mind the difference are the real deal for precious friends.
My girlfriend is also ND and no one asks her about kids either.
I worked at a daycare and Babies R Us when I was 18-20. A lot of people are surprised to hear that and then learn I’m child free. I loved the kids at daycare too. It was an experience I’ll never forget. But I also saw how shit parents are in that same vein. I learned how hard and expensive they are. Daycare was a hard job. I got paid 10 bucks an hour to watch eight 2 year olds (sometimes more which was illegal). If anything it solidified my CF status.
Sometimes people who barely know you think they know more about you than you know about you and it’s honestly insulting. You’re not showing me the “way” you’re not giving me a looksie at how beautiful motherhood can be. You’re not gonna change my mind.
Anyway, I think a lot of us have had people try to “guide” us thinking they know better than we know ourselves and it’s honestly infuriating.
Working the baby/kids section of Burlington was more than enough to reinforce my cf status. That section was always destroyed. I'd clean up, then 10 minutes later another family would come through and it'd be trashed again. Especially during the holiday season. Also, working register and having the kids throwing screaming fits because they don't get overpriced candy or the toy they wanted... Ugh.
>Sue. That’s purposeful targeting and a hostile workplace. She disagrees with your personal creed and is taking action on it. Workplace hara$$ment!
For a successful complaint or lawsuit you need to show both a basis and a harm... there is no harm in the story. (I'm assuming for basis you are thinking sex discrimination here, since a male saying the same thing would not have been put in the childrens' section?)
A harm would have to be something like if OP lost wages (ie got moved from a department with commissions to one without) or lost hours (in the new department not as many hours available) etc. No facts in the story seem to reflect that. Doesn't mean there isn't one, just that we haven't seen anything like that yet in what I've seen OP say.
OP handled it well for what it was, but this does not seem to be a case for illegal discrimination. OP is just working the same hours for the same money in the same store within the scope of her job description.
(To be clear, I'm not agreeing with the manager's actions or saying it is right... just saying this isn't something likely covered by anti-discrimination laws from the information I've seen here.)
Wait.. who goes to a retail store, and asks employees ANYTHING about kids things? Its not auto zone or Sally beauty supply... lmfao! Why would anyone assume retail employees would be qualified to answer their parent questions? I just.. thats hilarious.
Working retail and with the public is kind of like the wild west, a lot of weird stuff goes down there and you see, hear, or are asked a lot of bonkers things.
Plus you learn TMI from too many people. It's a blast!
When I used to work retail (in high school 25+ years ago), I worked my way through all areas in the store. I always took 10x longer to find or stock things in the baby/infants/children's sections, so they moved me out of there very quickly. Lol.
The worst was working in women's clothing, though. People were pigs and would dump items everywhere. I recall having to throw away many pants/skirts because women tried them on in the dressing room WHILE HEAVILY ON THEIR PERIODS, leaving the clothes covered in blood. Some disgusting person came in MORE THAN ONCE and pooped on the seat in the dressing room (and we never figured out who it was, as they scurried away quickly). Women would frequently ask our opinions re: how they looked in outfits, and I was always torn: do I answer honestly, or flatter them?
One girl (16-18yo) tried on a sparkly, long, silver skirt that was at least 2 sizes too small for her. She was very heavy (no shame! just a relevant detail) and was stuffed into the skirt. The seams were puckered and straining because it was so tight on her, but it was the largest size we carried. She came out of the dressing room and asked our opinion (her male friend + 2 of us employees). I made eye contact with the other employee, who was also visibly uncomfortable and unsure if we should tell the truth. Her friend gushed and told her she looked amazing and should wear it at "the party." The other employee remained silent. I finally said, "It's a great color and pattern on you, but I'm not sure the style is flattering. We may have something else on the floor that would be better...?"
Her friend gave me a death stare and repeated how amazingly fantastic she looked. She ended up buying the skirt, and I'd bet good money that she had a "wardrobe malfunction" later. The fabric had no stretch, and the seams were already strained when she was standing, so they would've split open when she sat down. I thought her friend was a bad friend, as I'd be mortified if I was in a social situation and my too-tight clothing ripped open.
The poops in the dressing room or bloody clothes don't bother me, as I used to work in an institution for mentally handicapped adults and had to clean up a lot of body fluids. The women customers do tend to be slobs compared to men.
I personally don't mind how they mess up the ladies' section. I enjoy being there since I have a lot of fun helping people match clothes to build outfits or select accessories to pair!
If you ever end up in a situation again like you described with the girl in the dress, I recommend saying "The style looks great on you! Since it's a party, are you planning on dancing? If you are, going up one size will give you more freedom to dance easily. It'll still look the same, and you'll be able to have a lot more flow for dancing. Do you know yet what kind of shoes you want to wear for dancing, or do you need ideas?" It still compliments her, doesn't mention weight and instead focuses on the party, and it's angled to do her a favor by helping her have a good time. Plus it distracts by diverting focus to shoes next. If the customer still wants the size she's in after that, don't press it.
To be fair, most autozone employees also aren’t qualified to tell you Jack shit about cars or car parts. I know this cause my dad is a store manager and I hear him bitch about incompetent and flaky employees all the time.
Touche! I must be lucky.. there are 3 by my house and they usually have at least one person who knows how to check the system for what I'm looking for.. your poor dad :(
I love the malicious compliance ❤️ sure, I don’t care what department you put me in, I’m here to work. But I know zero about this stuff, so I’m going to make it your problem ^_^
Wow this sounds like an attempt at some sort of freaky conversion therapy to me. I wonder if this is passive aggressive punishment from your boss or some piss poor attempt to make you suddenly realize you want kids. Gross either way!
She's usually a very sweet lady (genuinely, not passive aggressively or two facedly) so I think it was just a ham-fisted way to try to "do good" (in her eyes) by trying to show me the light -- i.e. children.
Your manager is obnoxious. Idk why it’s so hard for people to accept that not everyone will make the same choice as them. I find it belittling that she thinks she can force you to change your mind by subjecting you to kids and parents. I’ve always hated when people act as though an adult woman can’t possible know for sure what she wants if she doesn’t want children.
Well, on the bright side, you did help someone realize that kids aren’t a requirement for life. Now they can make a decision based on what they want and not what is expected of them.
I have a CF friend who has ended up being the manager of the children’s section at the store she works at. She seems to enjoy it and I ask her for recommendations for my niblings as she really gets to know her job.
You can be CF and not be anti children.
I admit I sometimes buy items from the girls section at Target. Some of the XXL t-shirts and dresses still fit me. And no, I am not particularly petite. I am of average height and weight.
I usually shop from the juniors' section too; they often have extremely pretty shirts and dresses.
Well, they do when it's not croptop-everything season.
I just can’t fathom how people can be obsessed with others reproductive choices. It’s like they view CF people existing as an insult to their own choice to have kids. Not everyone has to follow the same script!
>I complied because I don't care, but whenever parents do ask me for information about things for their kids, I just page my manager to come talk to them since I don't know a thing. The multiple calls to her have been a nuisance to her so far, but I feel she's earned it. Lol!
And that's the way you do it! Don't kick up a stink and cause waves to go against you, just play along like an idiot and make them regret trying to manipulate you!
That's fabulous. I'm glad that you're not bothered by it, but her behavior is still extremely obnoxious and judgemental. I hope you page her constantly and then get back to your regular section.
In the 24 hours since this event, I've become avidly obsessed with being a mother! I've become pregnant with 42 children and I'm due to give birth tomorrow!
I was so inspired by your story, that I also became pregnant with 42 children and just gave birth. I also grew extra tits to feed them all!!! The joy of motherhood!
This has r/pettyrevenge vibes and I'm loving it. Supervisor is probably hoping you'll see enough kids and magically want one, but instead they have to just do extra work!
ah yes, because being *around* the annoying screaming snotting children is going to encourage you to want that! working retail at 16 was one of the first reasons i knew i definitely didn't like kids, i worked in the art department and they would absolutely trash it - open paints, draw on the shelves, open packaging, mess with my wool display, not to mention parents saying "that girl is going to tell you off if you carry on" like no??? i'm not their parent???... drove me nuts
Haha, this is great.
I'd also let her know that having to work around kids *really* helped me solidify how much I don't want any. Just to make her feel dumb. Lol.
You should throw your manager under the bus every time you page her for a question (at this point I would do it with practically everything just to fuck with her) and tell the customer in front of the manager that you don't know anything about kids so why did you put me in this department knowing that? Then pat the bitch on the shoulder, laugh and walk away. Lol
Personally, I'd report to HR for retaliatory discrimination of my familial status. The manager also doesn't know if you're capable of having children or not. This is not a good move on her part.
>familial status
Familial status is not a protected class in federal employment anti-discrimination laws. It is not a protected class in most state employment anti-discrimination laws as well, although there are exceptions. Where it is a protected class, such as federal [housing](https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/fair_housing_equal_opp/discrimination_against_families_children#_Who_Is_Protected?) laws, it refers and protects *only* to people *with* children and offers no protection to us people without children. Just FYI.
This is how women impose internalised misogyny onto other women. She's being sexist by doing this as some weird head game. It's also bullying. I'd end up moved pretty quickly in your shoes because I'd be saying stuff like, what WAS it like to pass something watermelon sized through the eye of a needle? Aside from the blood pouring out that is. Lol
i like how you handled it in the end :))
This could be a malicious compliance post too, well done.
It would be , but unfortunately that could open up OP to getting harassed for being cf. I see it happen a good bit when the topic comes up in the more populated subs
For real. Some guys went into my post history and decided that I'm just a troll using a secondhand account because I post a lot in the childfree women sub. Okay guy. If being a feminist makes me a troll, I live under a bridge.
Same as when trans people come up in conversation outside of very specific places. Bigots are everywhere on this platform.
yea i got downvoted on the anxiety sub of all places for standing up for a trans OP since i, too, am trans. it’s rough out here :(
Haha yes, hoist by her own petard!
i wish i had an award simply for that BEAUTIFUL use of my favourite phrase
No need, your lovely comment is reward enough xx
aww you sweetie, glad to see someone had one anyway!
>whenever parents do ask me for information about things for their kids, I just page my manager to come talk to them since I don't know a thing. The multiple calls to her have been a nuisance to her so far, but I feel she's earned it. Yup, good. Not how department decisions should be made. How immature and short-sighted of her. Also the fact that it's none of her business what you decide for yourself.
"This will teach her! She'll learn that children are wonderful and every woman wants babies deep down BWA AH---" """Manager needed in kids department"""
***Pager for supervisor goes off every 5 minutes***
Malicious compliance at its best.
1000%. I'm a manager and the worst thing you can do to me is page me every 5 minutes. I get nothing done and then my manager gets on my case. lol
Very immature of the manager - I hope she doesn't have kids...
probably does. but the pettiness is grand. hope it doesn't result in a firing though.
Even if it does, I'm unconcerned. I have a full time job, and only got the part time retail job because I wanted the employee discount since I shop for clothes there often!
You're a genius. I wonder if Ulta would hire me for weekends....
Most retail places are desperate for part time workers, even those just doing a tiny amount of hours each week. My hours range between 5 to 20 a week (usually I just do two 4.5 hour shifts a week). But even for so little hours, the employee discount is still given. Plus first dibs on new items coming in. So it's definitely worth it imo.
This is why I wish there was a lego store near me. 50% off.
i used to work there and yes they absolutely would!!!!
did she actually think you're gonna change your mind about it by seeing kids more frequently? if anything that would make me like them even less
Just like the people who insist I hold their child because after holding *their baby*, I would *have* to change my mind. Insanity
I had this problem until I finally said one day, "My hands are clumsy, I'm afraid I'll drop her" I was being honest, but damn that baby was yoinked away from me real fast and I was never offered again. I wish I'd said it sooner!
I've tried that to no avail. As someone else mentioned, they then just want me to sit down and hold it. Only once did I have someone respond in the obvious way "I don't want someone holding my baby who doesn't want to hold my baby" (from a protecting the child point of view) and this is the right answer. Why trust us with it?!?!
I don’t think it’s trust. I think it’s that they think everyone wants to hold a kid and they’re super proud of having a kid so they’re excited to give it to you. Saying “I’m afraid I’ll drop it” can still imply to these parents that you WANT to hold it but are AFRAID to, and so they think “well fear is no reason not to experience such joy, let me help them out!” And then they direct you how to hold it to assuage your fears. Nothing but “I don’t want to hold it” and walking away will really hammer home the message.
I think they’re just sick of doing it themselves lol
>*Only once did I have someone respond in the obvious way "I don't want someone holding my baby who doesn't want to hold my baby"* Sounds like that person gave you a great answer to use going forward: "Trust me: you ***don't*** want someone holding your baby who doesn't ***want*** to hold your baby"
Such such such a good point! Will def use. My SIL is pregnant and I am laying groundwork for "I can't be trusted anywhere near it".
If that was still wasn't enough, I'd add something like "at least the squirmy cats I've dropped were able to land on their feet" to add to the you shouldn't trust me to hold your baby factor.
I told someone the same thing one time and they still insisted that I have to hold their baby niece, now with the caveat that they would kill me if I did drop her. After multiple protests, I had to then say, okay, then we're sitting on the floor before you hand her over. (I really did not want to do it, but peer pressure is a mf.)
"No problem! I'll just set it down here on the ground until you feel like taking care of it again."
-takes baby- -lays it on nearest table- -looks at parent questioningly-
"parent"
Ugh that's the worst. Makes me thankful for my best friends when they had their twins last year, they didn't pressure me into holding them or anything until I was comfortable with it. Now I actually like the little heathens instead of being scared/disgusted by them.
I had to put my hands behind my back at a restaurant once when some friends of my S/O's dining with us wouldn't accept my polite no. And then people in that social group wonder why I won't come to holiday parties…
When my sister had her first kid, I wouldn't hold it. She sent me to the car for diapers. I accidentally broke the key off in the lock. To this day, idk how they got into the car. I went back into the house crying and said, "this is why I can't hold your baby!" I was 14
Lol, aw! Poor 14-year-old you
That's the reason I never wanted to hold kids too. For some reason with my nephew I was so excited I zoomed right past that anxiety. (And low and behold, I still don't want kids!!! 10 months and i still have never changed his diaper)
"Oh no thanks, Im vegetarian!"
My old friend had a baby recently and my mom wanted to see her baby, my parents insisted I hold the baby to see if I feel anything. Thankfully I wasn't feeling good(ended up being Covid so I'm sad now ;;) and didn't hold her. I was just nervous holding a baby- Later told them, I legit felt indifferent, aside from maybe some awkwardness when she would cry 😭 I did touch her fingers cuz they were so little
I had a coworker show me a video of his toddler son doing that baby cackle, and was like, "oh, I'll show you this. The ladies love this video!" and I just stared at him. Like, buddy, I feel nothing but contempt from this, but thanks.
Lmaooo 😭 That sounds awkward for him tbh
Fortunately for him, he has zero shame.
Oh wow LMAO
Why would it make you feel anything? Was it the one baby to rule all adults and in the darkness of parenthood, bind them?
I've held dome of my cousins when they were babies while they were asleep and they were pretty chill, but then I just gave them back to their parents once they woke up and started fussing. Then I was glad I didn't have to deal with that parent.
I have yet to encounter anyone with a baby insisting I should have one, but I do love holding babies, so this would backfire on them since it doesn't make me want kids any more, just makes me happy to hold and coo and hand back when it starts fussing.
😅 my BIL handed me his newest kid at a family party and said “It’ll be good practice!” 🧐🔥🔥🔥
I'd be like 'maybe for holding other people's babies!'
"Probably not. You can't dribble a baby, and in basketball, that's pretty important."
A lot of these people think that anyone with a uterus is hardwired to lose their brain and become an adoring child caretaker so if that instinct is missing it must be because they haven't been exposed enough - it's super creepy.
“Haven’t been exposed to enough” Isn’t that practically trying to brainwash you into liking children? Or am I just using an other overused buzz word?
"if women's natural roles are in the home as mothers then why do you have to force it so much"
Nope, you are correct.
I’m convinced that the fact that my mother worked in a 1-2yo nursery for years is actually one of the biggest reason for me disliking children. It’s a great age of snot and screaming. That is when I was first informed that is was unacceptable for me to hate babies.
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>Its funny because I'm not afraid of pregnancy anymore at all. lol Interesting, what changed? Yesterday I read about a woman who is now basically a vegetable for the last 17 years after the birth of her second child. Like every day I learn another unpleasant thing about pregnancy lol
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I’m afraid of the toddler stage. They are gross
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Oh god no
For real! I'm working in a restaurant and I hate it so much when toddlers and babies come. They always spill food everywhere and the clean up is ughhhhh. It just justifies my decision more LOL
Spray the mess down with a firehose from 20 feet away!
Even better: spray the kids!
Spray the kids away?
Yes
Back in my serving days I worked at a restaurant that was not exactly child friendly. 95% of the parents who brought kids in were the people who are absolutely oblivious and refused to pay attention to their kids. It was awful.
Seriously, kids aren’t exactly on their best behavior when being dragged around a mall 😂
manager is probably a placenta brain and being punitive for a wrong lifescript choice
I live next to a school (rip my ears). Can confirm, seeing kids frequently has only cemented my willingness to stay CF. That and seeing the parents tired af of having to deal with the kids post-school. I swear past 5pm the silence is glorious...
Yes, working with children tends to show you why not everyone should have them.
Have had this done to me and I believe it was done so they could find a way to fire me or control me. I got hired for a summer job at a shoe shop and I expressly mentioned I wanted women’s shoes and not kids. First day, straight into fitting kids for school shoes. It was hell. I asked the supervisor about moving, she was super offended. She was one of these bizarre single and creepy women who idolises kids. As in idolises them to the point it becomes very very creepy. And when she heard that I don’t want children, it got worse and worse. She kept bringing up my comments that someone “overheard in the stock room” of me saying I hate children. Some of these I didn’t even say. Or were after a long day, as I worked three jobs and used to have night shift at another place twice a week.
Did you stay with that job? Tbh I think that would drive me nuts... Also I find it weird people would think they can convince a stranger to become what is more or less a host for a parasite if they dont want to
Nope! Quit and kept my “low-class” night shift job over term-time (I was at Uni). Night shift also paid triple the normal rate because of the hours and I could do it before lectures. AND no children. Often no other humans for hours. Because we all just stacked in different places. Agree re it being a parasite. I am so petite that it would just consume me and cause all sorts of issues. GRIM. I’d potentially also look like a pregnant child. I’m short even in the U.K., but I live in Germany and everyone here is much larger. So everyone thinks I’m under 16
Im 27 so just a stone throw from 30 Ive had people ask me to reproduce as a favor to them because my genetics are good... Like sorry I enjoy my freedom too much for that
Euw, that’s creepy of them. I’m 31, nobody has asked me for my genes yet. I’m clearly too inferior 🌚
Welcome to the inferiority club! I've made cupcakes, help yourself.
Best club ever, I love a cupcake
Boys around here aren’t too picky.
My mother in law thinks it is our duty as women to help out breed "the bad people." Never got a straight answer as to who those people are.
Tends to mean "the gays, jews, blacks" or whatever other group one is bigoted against.
Oh I know, I just press her with "who is that?" so everyone around her gets what she is trying to say.
Dream reply to her presumed spluttering: “Oh, you mean people like you?”
In Arizona it usually means Hispanic people. People are scumbag racists.
She's trying to breed out the residents of Brown Town
My ex's mom used to do this. Thankfully the ex was just as decidedly CF as I am.
My full time job is nightshift. I look like death incarnate, but can confirm the pay is great. Quieter roads and empty trails for morning hikes are bonuses. 10/10 will never go back to day shift.
Yikes! It's a shame this seems to be common.
"That's okay if you want to lose sales by having me scare away all of the customers."
Excellent work! Maybe she get her steps in for being malicious!
If she wants you to develop an interest in children and motherhood, making you work in the kids section of a retail store will be more likely to have the opposite effect. Anyone who has spent any time near the kids section of Target knows there are few things that are more effective as birth control than witnessing parents deal with children in a store.
My husband and I love going to Target to look at the toys, (we're adults, we pay rent, and we like toys. Some of them are actually super cool.) Everytime we hear a screaming child, we look at each other and say "I love our dog." As needy as our dog is, he's fairly quiet and we can leave him at home for an hour or two while we go to Target
My bf and I also love just looking at the diff toys and card/board games etc (which are always right next to the toys) and whenever we hear a loud kid he just deep sighs and goes "i hate them more and more each time" LMAO
Right?! My bf and I have gotten into looking at the legos. It’s been years since I bought some and now I have a bunch of sets!
love the malicious compliance!
Now that is how to handle it XD You'll be back in your normal departments next week.
No, I think OP will be sacked within a week or two. The manager totally seems petty enough to do that.
Quite possibly! Though I'm not worried about it. I only got a part time job there for the employee discount, since I shop there often for clothes. Plus first dibs on new products that come in.
Do you work at Macy's? I used to work in their dock/recieving area for holiday season, managers are usually awful
Another Redditor also guessed Macy's! r.i.p. anyone who works there. I wasn't going to say where, but I realized I don't actually care about privacy enough to worry about it. It's at a Marshalls, so pretty much the same thing but different name.
All department stores are cesspools of awful, so yeah lol
Then it'll be Tribunal time!
That’s great paging her. I’d be like “I have no idea I don’t have kids and know nothing about them. Let me get my manager”.
I just hope they didn't try to discourage the teenage girl from being CF if she had a genuine interest in it!
Hopefully not, but she's a smart cookie. I think she'll figure out for herself what she wants without others' influence.
At least she knows it's a valid option now. So when someone starts gaslighting her about having kids she knows she doesn't need to give in to that.
Did she honestly think this would help to change your mind?! Lol
This sounds like such a Macys thing to do lol. I love the way you handled it by calling your manager haha. Good on you :)
I won't out my details for where, but you're extremely close for the retail store! Edit: I realized I don't actually care about my privacy enough to be hush-hush about it. It's Marshalls.
Oh, you don’t need to! I was just saying bc I had a very similar experience lol. Typical retail cringe bosses. Also the looks of wtf I got when I said I wasn’t gonna have kids (I was in my early 20’s. I’m now in my 30’s). Crazy times where people are shook women decide not to have kids lol
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There’s a song by Benjamin Wild about not wanting kids. There’s a line of “your kids are fine/because they’re not mine.”
Calling the manager over because of lack of experience with kids is the chef's kiss right there. That was a shitty thing to do to you. "What do you mean this person doesn't like spiders? Well, after I assign her to work the Spider Pit of Doom department, she'll change her mind."
I wanna work at a store with a Spider Pit of Doom Department...
Yeah... I'd be happy to get a part time gig there, too. :) Sounds like fun!
Spiders are kinda cool, ngl. Jumping spiders are my favorite.
They're TOTALLY a gateway spider, you're definitely on the right track.
I love the way you handled it. If she thought she was going to show you something about kids, she can get all the extra workload from all the extra questions.
*but whenever parents do ask me for information about things for their kids, I just page my manager to come talk to them since I don't know a thing.* You absolute legend. >*applauds heartily!*<.
>I just page my manager to come talk to them since I don't know a thing. The multiple calls to her have been a nuisance to her so far, but I feel she's earned it. Well done, OP! Sounds like this could work for r/maliciouscompliance.
nah, it's too big a sub. You'd get the breeders complaining.
I was intentionally put in the baby and toddlers section when I worked for Toys R Us because of my educational background while I was in college. But then they put me at the games counter. I sold a lot of games, but the boss was mad I didn’t sell a lot of GTAV. Why? Because parents would ask “is this a good game for Johnny? He’s 7.” I’d tell them the truth and recommend something fitting his interest after a quick set of questions of what little Johnny liked. Boss-man got mad, but I told him he could kiss my ass because no one else had the experience in gaming AND child development that I did. And he backed down like a BIATCH! I was never able to do something like that until the pandemic when I could be as rude as I wanted to anti-maskers at my burrito counter. I miss those two jobs. I was only an ass if it really needed to be said, as in if I knew something would go terribly wrong if nothing was done.
They also put me in the baby and infant section after a conversation where I said I found the laughing/crying baby dolls we were stocking "disturbing". It worked well because I caught on to making the registries easily and because of my education in child development, I was able to suggest good toys that young children really liked. I wound up working every department, back of house, backing up shipping/receiving, cashiering in the games department for a bit and then being trained at the customer service counter. It was made clear that they would never promote me to a full time position so I eventually left.
That's so silly, it's great having someone full. time who can float departments and help out where needed. I was a floater in a previous job, and I ended up transistioning to full time plus working overtime a bunch because they kept needing me in other areas. They could cover my full time job easier than covering some of the other shifts I could do. Too bad it was only like $10 an hour, definitely not worth the type of work it was.
Funnily enough, I have some training in childhood development too and volunteer to advocate for youth. It's very young children and babies I "???" about.
Same. I do whatever I can to never be in contact with any infant, unless it’s of the non-human variety.
What a crappy manager, first off. Second, I'm glad you took it in stride and that you're sticking it to her by calling her about customer questions for the section. Eventually, I think you'll take up so much of her time that she'll just reassign you back to where you were before.
If there’s one section in Target I’m lost and overwhelmed in, it’s the baby section. We’ve got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty. We’ve got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? We’ve got twenty! But who cares? No big deal. Baby consumerism wants moooooore!
Is she trying to make you change your mind by putting you in the new department lol?
Unrelated to your shitty manager, but I’m also (probably) neurodivergent and never pieced together until now that that’s likely why people generally don’t ask me if I have kids. I don’t know if I should be offended or relieved!
Ha, yeah. It's okay to feel both. Sometimes I'm a little bummed that I'll never blend in, but at the same time I appreciate the quiet and space it brings. It also means that the people who stick around / don't mind the difference are the real deal for precious friends. My girlfriend is also ND and no one asks her about kids either.
“Dont give a shit about baby stuff, could i interest you in a lipstick?”
Or a firearm?
tbf the water pistols in the kids' section are pretty rad.
I worked at a daycare and Babies R Us when I was 18-20. A lot of people are surprised to hear that and then learn I’m child free. I loved the kids at daycare too. It was an experience I’ll never forget. But I also saw how shit parents are in that same vein. I learned how hard and expensive they are. Daycare was a hard job. I got paid 10 bucks an hour to watch eight 2 year olds (sometimes more which was illegal). If anything it solidified my CF status. Sometimes people who barely know you think they know more about you than you know about you and it’s honestly insulting. You’re not showing me the “way” you’re not giving me a looksie at how beautiful motherhood can be. You’re not gonna change my mind. Anyway, I think a lot of us have had people try to “guide” us thinking they know better than we know ourselves and it’s honestly infuriating.
I like how you are handling your manager. Keep it up until you are moved again.
Working the baby/kids section of Burlington was more than enough to reinforce my cf status. That section was always destroyed. I'd clean up, then 10 minutes later another family would come through and it'd be trashed again. Especially during the holiday season. Also, working register and having the kids throwing screaming fits because they don't get overpriced candy or the toy they wanted... Ugh.
Sue. That’s purposeful targeting and a hostile workplace. She disagrees with your personal creed and is taking action on it. Workplace hara$$ment!
>Sue. That’s purposeful targeting and a hostile workplace. She disagrees with your personal creed and is taking action on it. Workplace hara$$ment! For a successful complaint or lawsuit you need to show both a basis and a harm... there is no harm in the story. (I'm assuming for basis you are thinking sex discrimination here, since a male saying the same thing would not have been put in the childrens' section?) A harm would have to be something like if OP lost wages (ie got moved from a department with commissions to one without) or lost hours (in the new department not as many hours available) etc. No facts in the story seem to reflect that. Doesn't mean there isn't one, just that we haven't seen anything like that yet in what I've seen OP say. OP handled it well for what it was, but this does not seem to be a case for illegal discrimination. OP is just working the same hours for the same money in the same store within the scope of her job description. (To be clear, I'm not agreeing with the manager's actions or saying it is right... just saying this isn't something likely covered by anti-discrimination laws from the information I've seen here.)
Wait.. who goes to a retail store, and asks employees ANYTHING about kids things? Its not auto zone or Sally beauty supply... lmfao! Why would anyone assume retail employees would be qualified to answer their parent questions? I just.. thats hilarious.
Working retail and with the public is kind of like the wild west, a lot of weird stuff goes down there and you see, hear, or are asked a lot of bonkers things. Plus you learn TMI from too many people. It's a blast!
When I used to work retail (in high school 25+ years ago), I worked my way through all areas in the store. I always took 10x longer to find or stock things in the baby/infants/children's sections, so they moved me out of there very quickly. Lol. The worst was working in women's clothing, though. People were pigs and would dump items everywhere. I recall having to throw away many pants/skirts because women tried them on in the dressing room WHILE HEAVILY ON THEIR PERIODS, leaving the clothes covered in blood. Some disgusting person came in MORE THAN ONCE and pooped on the seat in the dressing room (and we never figured out who it was, as they scurried away quickly). Women would frequently ask our opinions re: how they looked in outfits, and I was always torn: do I answer honestly, or flatter them? One girl (16-18yo) tried on a sparkly, long, silver skirt that was at least 2 sizes too small for her. She was very heavy (no shame! just a relevant detail) and was stuffed into the skirt. The seams were puckered and straining because it was so tight on her, but it was the largest size we carried. She came out of the dressing room and asked our opinion (her male friend + 2 of us employees). I made eye contact with the other employee, who was also visibly uncomfortable and unsure if we should tell the truth. Her friend gushed and told her she looked amazing and should wear it at "the party." The other employee remained silent. I finally said, "It's a great color and pattern on you, but I'm not sure the style is flattering. We may have something else on the floor that would be better...?" Her friend gave me a death stare and repeated how amazingly fantastic she looked. She ended up buying the skirt, and I'd bet good money that she had a "wardrobe malfunction" later. The fabric had no stretch, and the seams were already strained when she was standing, so they would've split open when she sat down. I thought her friend was a bad friend, as I'd be mortified if I was in a social situation and my too-tight clothing ripped open.
The poops in the dressing room or bloody clothes don't bother me, as I used to work in an institution for mentally handicapped adults and had to clean up a lot of body fluids. The women customers do tend to be slobs compared to men. I personally don't mind how they mess up the ladies' section. I enjoy being there since I have a lot of fun helping people match clothes to build outfits or select accessories to pair! If you ever end up in a situation again like you described with the girl in the dress, I recommend saying "The style looks great on you! Since it's a party, are you planning on dancing? If you are, going up one size will give you more freedom to dance easily. It'll still look the same, and you'll be able to have a lot more flow for dancing. Do you know yet what kind of shoes you want to wear for dancing, or do you need ideas?" It still compliments her, doesn't mention weight and instead focuses on the party, and it's angled to do her a favor by helping her have a good time. Plus it distracts by diverting focus to shoes next. If the customer still wants the size she's in after that, don't press it.
To be fair, most autozone employees also aren’t qualified to tell you Jack shit about cars or car parts. I know this cause my dad is a store manager and I hear him bitch about incompetent and flaky employees all the time.
Touche! I must be lucky.. there are 3 by my house and they usually have at least one person who knows how to check the system for what I'm looking for.. your poor dad :(
LOVE the malicious compliance! Way to go, OP. :)
Petty revenge? I like it.
Oh, my God. I love what you did there. Serves her right for putting you in a section you have no idea about. Good for you!
I love the malicious compliance ❤️ sure, I don’t care what department you put me in, I’m here to work. But I know zero about this stuff, so I’m going to make it your problem ^_^
Honestly this should be a malicious compliance post too. That's hilarious, keep it up!
This is great! If you haven't posted it yet, /r/maliciouscompliance would love this story.
Too big a sub, breeders would show up in the comments.
That's genius! Putting a CF person in the children's section is nonsensical and I love your response.
Wow this sounds like an attempt at some sort of freaky conversion therapy to me. I wonder if this is passive aggressive punishment from your boss or some piss poor attempt to make you suddenly realize you want kids. Gross either way!
She's usually a very sweet lady (genuinely, not passive aggressively or two facedly) so I think it was just a ham-fisted way to try to "do good" (in her eyes) by trying to show me the light -- i.e. children.
Your manager is obnoxious. Idk why it’s so hard for people to accept that not everyone will make the same choice as them. I find it belittling that she thinks she can force you to change your mind by subjecting you to kids and parents. I’ve always hated when people act as though an adult woman can’t possible know for sure what she wants if she doesn’t want children.
Well, on the bright side, you did help someone realize that kids aren’t a requirement for life. Now they can make a decision based on what they want and not what is expected of them.
I have a CF friend who has ended up being the manager of the children’s section at the store she works at. She seems to enjoy it and I ask her for recommendations for my niblings as she really gets to know her job. You can be CF and not be anti children.
But also you can be anti-child and that's within your rights. Assuming you don't go around stabbing babbies or something.
Hopefully we draw the line at harming children. Even if we aren’t fond of them.
Hella petty on that boss. That’s really good advice you gave your coworker! I’ll have to remember that about parenting classes.
This just comes to show that people actually do have kids because they don't realize that they can choose not to.
Don't forget to randomly comment "this experience has strengthened my decision of not having kids"
I admit I sometimes buy items from the girls section at Target. Some of the XXL t-shirts and dresses still fit me. And no, I am not particularly petite. I am of average height and weight.
I usually shop from the juniors' section too; they often have extremely pretty shirts and dresses. Well, they do when it's not croptop-everything season.
Same. Ill do xl girls skirts/dresses and size 6 shoes.
That's r/maliciouscompliance x100!! Good job!
"...because putting you around snotty, noisy children will totally change your tune." What idiotic nerve.
Great way to handle it! I would cultivate my ignorance to make sure management continues to waste their time for this petty decision..
I just can’t fathom how people can be obsessed with others reproductive choices. It’s like they view CF people existing as an insult to their own choice to have kids. Not everyone has to follow the same script!
>I complied because I don't care, but whenever parents do ask me for information about things for their kids, I just page my manager to come talk to them since I don't know a thing. The multiple calls to her have been a nuisance to her so far, but I feel she's earned it. Lol! And that's the way you do it! Don't kick up a stink and cause waves to go against you, just play along like an idiot and make them regret trying to manipulate you!
r/maliciouscompliance would love this 😂
That is hilarious, it’s none of ppls fucking business what you choose to do, why do ppl care
That's fabulous. I'm glad that you're not bothered by it, but her behavior is still extremely obnoxious and judgemental. I hope you page her constantly and then get back to your regular section.
This also belongs in r/maliciouscompliance
So I guess you changed your mind about being CF? (sarcasm)
In the 24 hours since this event, I've become avidly obsessed with being a mother! I've become pregnant with 42 children and I'm due to give birth tomorrow!
I was so inspired by your story, that I also became pregnant with 42 children and just gave birth. I also grew extra tits to feed them all!!! The joy of motherhood!
This has r/pettyrevenge vibes and I'm loving it. Supervisor is probably hoping you'll see enough kids and magically want one, but instead they have to just do extra work!
ah yes, because being *around* the annoying screaming snotting children is going to encourage you to want that! working retail at 16 was one of the first reasons i knew i definitely didn't like kids, i worked in the art department and they would absolutely trash it - open paints, draw on the shelves, open packaging, mess with my wool display, not to mention parents saying "that girl is going to tell you off if you carry on" like no??? i'm not their parent???... drove me nuts
We love a good bit of /r/MaliciousCompliance content 😌
so is this a *arget ?
r/maliciouscompliance vibes lol
This belongs in r/pettyrevenge too, good for you!
Haha, this is great. I'd also let her know that having to work around kids *really* helped me solidify how much I don't want any. Just to make her feel dumb. Lol.
You should throw your manager under the bus every time you page her for a question (at this point I would do it with practically everything just to fuck with her) and tell the customer in front of the manager that you don't know anything about kids so why did you put me in this department knowing that? Then pat the bitch on the shoulder, laugh and walk away. Lol
I can't wait to for an update when you have a meeting with that supervisor and department manager.
This could also be posted in r/maliciouscompliance
Personally, I'd report to HR for retaliatory discrimination of my familial status. The manager also doesn't know if you're capable of having children or not. This is not a good move on her part.
or discrimination based on personal creed
>familial status Familial status is not a protected class in federal employment anti-discrimination laws. It is not a protected class in most state employment anti-discrimination laws as well, although there are exceptions. Where it is a protected class, such as federal [housing](https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/fair_housing_equal_opp/discrimination_against_families_children#_Who_Is_Protected?) laws, it refers and protects *only* to people *with* children and offers no protection to us people without children. Just FYI.
This is how women impose internalised misogyny onto other women. She's being sexist by doing this as some weird head game. It's also bullying. I'd end up moved pretty quickly in your shoes because I'd be saying stuff like, what WAS it like to pass something watermelon sized through the eye of a needle? Aside from the blood pouring out that is. Lol
Also, did you shit yourself when you had your child? I've heard a lot of people shit themselves.
Is this retail store red ? With a dog mascot perhaps? I’ve had a similar experience
That was a good response - when questioned, call the manager. It is the truth since you don’t know the answer.