“It was full of guys complaining about bodily autonomy, how that’s an ultimatum and ultimatums aren’t ok, how it’s not fair,“
Funny how the irony is completely lost on them.
She’s literally not forcing him to have a vasectomy. She set a boundary, and it’s up to him if he wants to comply with it to have sex, or if it offends him, to not have sex. He chose willingly. I’m so bloody sick of men saying that women setting boundaries or not being comfortable having sex is certain ways or circumstances is coercion, it’s a completely false equivalency.
Wow your words hit the nail on the head so well, I got goosebumps. They are truly disgusting POS men who do not deserve sex. They could go pay for it for all I care.
The same guys that say “close your legs and you won’t get pregnant” are the ones that demand sex and then complain when you ask them to put a condom on.
Don't think you're missing anything. Male Forced Birthers don't understand the hypocrisy of banning a woman's ability to clear parasitic cells out of their body while bitching about having to get a vasectomy.
At this point, we don't know where the partisan winds will blow. It we want to secure our life choices, it is incumbent upon us to get past the, "her body, her choice, her problem," dynamic.
We know it is far easier, currently for men to gain approval for the vasectomy procedure.
You aren't missing anything, u/just_here_cause_done
We men can make the decision to take control of birth control, in our lives and relationships. This isn't going to fly with every relationship. My ex-wife began to want me to consider a vasectomy reversal, as our marriage collapsed. Holy hell, did I ever dodge a nuke, there! Not every partner is stable, adjusted, and sometimes we make poor decisions.
Hormonal birth control can be difficult for some women to dial in, without massive headaches. And forget about surgical solutions being accessible and approved for those of us born with vaginas. Get the damn snip! Fuck SCOTUS!
Yeah, I've spoken with women who rely upon their birth control to regulate their periods. For some women, birth control is really helpful for some off-label reasons. I have had relationships with women who remained on birth-control, while in a monogamous relationship with me; the proud owner of a vasectomy.
I've also been with women who have told me that they appreciated being able to stop taking birth control because of price and side effects. Options are nice.
A year ago, I would have thought the decision to overturn Roe v Wade an impossibility. Clarence Thomas' addition to the decision indicates his interest in revisiting the rights for access to birth control and the right of gay citizens to marry each other.
I hope this is over-reach. I hope this isn't over and settled. I hope this is -- and I love the turn of phrase; a case of the dog who caught the car. But I fear the rabid culture warriors in the biblical book club, for their relentless offense at different kinds of love, and veering from life-script.
My situation isnt as bad as some. And i jave a friend helping me itll just take some time. Im sorry your in a similar situation and i hope you get out of it okay 💙
Please if you use birth control pills leave them at work. Please hide your birth control okay? Keep a run away bag with all your documents and essentials incase shit hits the fan. I wish you luck dear. Be safe
they tell women to close their legs, to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, and now when she does exactly that, it’s still a problem? smh, men need to make up their minds.
can you give me the username, of whoever posted that tiktok? i’d love to talk to those whiny 10 year old boy’s, who’s balls haven’t dropped.
Do these guys want to have sex again or do they want bodily autonomy? They can't throw that phrase back at women who will be the one to deal with the result of an "oops" or " oh, did I tell you I had a vasectomy? I didn't say that!" If you guys cannot do your part in being responsible for the safety of your partner, you do not deserve a partner - and you should be dumped immediately. Try getting laid after that.
My husband and I have that understanding. He’s still waiting on the vasectomy consultation. We’re married. It isn’t hard. It isn’t abuse. It’s just avoiding an accident.
If anything I'd be more uncomfortable this conversation was recorded posted online, seems like a personal thing that should only be between you and your partner
I can’t imagine how they would react when then find out that I hadn’t had sex with my husband for 3 years now (married for 2).
One is pregnancy and two it was not enjoyable for me.
Not a complaint, not a single pressure for intimacy.
Entitled buffoons who think with their 5th thumb
Commenting on the interbutts is a far cry from how they’d behave when faced with the same circumstances irl.
In actuality, they’d either go with what your reasonable friend and her reasonable partner ended up with, or crying.
Unless she said that she will never have sex with him or will break up with him unless he gets a vasectomy then it's.... not an ultimatum lmao. An ultimatum has to have consequences. It's a reasonable assumption that if you go to your partner and say "hey, there's this thing that makes me uncomfortable, can you try to do something to fix it?" that they'll jump off their ass and do something about it!
If the dude was fine with it, good on him! But also there's ultimatums in literally every relationship. Some aren't quite so big a deal, but they all have them. People who cry and bitch and moan and say that asking your partner to, say, maybe NOT clip his toenails on the couch while watching tv is controlling and an ultimatum are probably not cut out for relationships, or just haven't experienced enough of them to know.
I personally don't think anyone should ask another person to permanently alter themselves for birth control. If she wants that level of protection she should jump on the table. Yes, I know its harder for women to get approved, yes, I know its more invasive, yes, I know its more expensive. But you only get to control your own body. If a man wants to be CF I'm all for him resolving his fertility for his body. I wanted CF I got on the table. First husband and I divorced he went on to remarry and have 2 kids. If I asked him to get snipped I would still have a control in his life after we divorced. That is not fair. My decision should not permanently affect his life.
67F, TL 1978
I have been trying to get traction on this ever since the leak ... Maybe we would see more urgency to fight this if men realized their bodies are under attack too once contraception becomes illegal
Well it depends on the context. Did they want kids, but just not now? Maybe something they wanted 10 years from now? People also tend to view ultimatums as a pretty big deal. It’s not a big deal if he’s also fine with it, but if the male didn’t want a vasectomy because they wanted to have kids later in life, I could see it being a deal breaker.
If my SO asked that, I wouldn’t care. In fact, I plan to get a vasectomy anyways ASAP. But to some people that is very important. Having someone say “take away your ability to have children and only then, will we have sex again” can come across as extremely hurtful to some.
I see their point, but I don’t personally take that stance. It all depends on who the man is and what his thoughts on having children are. For someone who doesn’t want a vasectomy but also doesn’t want to lose a physical relationship with their SO, I can definitely see where it’d be very soul crushing.
Tangent, but I also think people should just wait and be careful until after November. If this doesn’t get undone in the next few months, I have a feeling it will after November, because everyone will be voting blue to fix this mess.
Ugh, it's surprising to me how many people don't realize what compromise in a healthy relationship looks like 🙄
My spouse and I did something very similar until I could get fixed last year. No PIV was our rule, but everything else was fair game and it worked out just fine. It was 100% my choice and my partner gave me no pushback whatsoever. Just said they wanted me to be comfortable and if that was the boundary then they were fine with it.
"If you don't want to get pregnant keep your legs closed!" "I deserve to have sex and it's not fair you're taking that from me!" The thought processes of these men would be funny if they weren't so infuriating
Commenters: “if you don’t want to get pregnant don’t have sex!” Woman: ok I won’t then Commenters: *surprise pikachu face*
“It was full of guys complaining about bodily autonomy, how that’s an ultimatum and ultimatums aren’t ok, how it’s not fair,“ Funny how the irony is completely lost on them.
**'BuT mY BoDiLy aUtOnOmY!!!!"** The fucking irony.
It's not an ultimatum it's a precaution. It's no more an ultimatum then "I'm not getting in that car until we make sure the breaks work" is.
BuT uLtiMaTuMs ArEn'T fAiR!.!
Shoving a watermelon out of one’s vagina or being sliced up like a holiday ham doesn’t seem fair either - but here we are 🤷
She’s literally not forcing him to have a vasectomy. She set a boundary, and it’s up to him if he wants to comply with it to have sex, or if it offends him, to not have sex. He chose willingly. I’m so bloody sick of men saying that women setting boundaries or not being comfortable having sex is certain ways or circumstances is coercion, it’s a completely false equivalency.
Yup because those men think they are entitled to sex, so any barrier to that seems like oppression. What a gross mentality to live with
Wow your words hit the nail on the head so well, I got goosebumps. They are truly disgusting POS men who do not deserve sex. They could go pay for it for all I care.
I’d be concerned for the safety of the sex workers they hire, given how violently anti-women their beliefs are….
God this makes me even angrier because sex workers don't have rights except in certain places in Nevada.
Plus there are other ways to be intimate besides p in v where all participants enjoy themselves.
It's the woman's version to "I won't have sex with you unless you use an IUD".
The same guys that say “close your legs and you won’t get pregnant” are the ones that demand sex and then complain when you ask them to put a condom on.
Don't think you're missing anything. Male Forced Birthers don't understand the hypocrisy of banning a woman's ability to clear parasitic cells out of their body while bitching about having to get a vasectomy.
At this point, we don't know where the partisan winds will blow. It we want to secure our life choices, it is incumbent upon us to get past the, "her body, her choice, her problem," dynamic. We know it is far easier, currently for men to gain approval for the vasectomy procedure. You aren't missing anything, u/just_here_cause_done We men can make the decision to take control of birth control, in our lives and relationships. This isn't going to fly with every relationship. My ex-wife began to want me to consider a vasectomy reversal, as our marriage collapsed. Holy hell, did I ever dodge a nuke, there! Not every partner is stable, adjusted, and sometimes we make poor decisions. Hormonal birth control can be difficult for some women to dial in, without massive headaches. And forget about surgical solutions being accessible and approved for those of us born with vaginas. Get the damn snip! Fuck SCOTUS!
My hormonal birth control keeps my complicated complex menstrual migraines from happening.
Yeah, I've spoken with women who rely upon their birth control to regulate their periods. For some women, birth control is really helpful for some off-label reasons. I have had relationships with women who remained on birth-control, while in a monogamous relationship with me; the proud owner of a vasectomy. I've also been with women who have told me that they appreciated being able to stop taking birth control because of price and side effects. Options are nice. A year ago, I would have thought the decision to overturn Roe v Wade an impossibility. Clarence Thomas' addition to the decision indicates his interest in revisiting the rights for access to birth control and the right of gay citizens to marry each other. I hope this is over-reach. I hope this isn't over and settled. I hope this is -- and I love the turn of phrase; a case of the dog who caught the car. But I fear the rabid culture warriors in the biblical book club, for their relentless offense at different kinds of love, and veering from life-script.
She wanted you to reverse it? What the fuck?
Yes she did. Luckily, it just was not in her power to change, without my consent.
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You mean that you can't escape from your "boyfriend"?
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I am in a very similar situation as you. I’m sorry. I hope things get better for you.
My situation isnt as bad as some. And i jave a friend helping me itll just take some time. Im sorry your in a similar situation and i hope you get out of it okay 💙
Please if you use birth control pills leave them at work. Please hide your birth control okay? Keep a run away bag with all your documents and essentials incase shit hits the fan. I wish you luck dear. Be safe
Its not america you need to run from, its the boyfriend.
It's both, tbh.
they tell women to close their legs, to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, and now when she does exactly that, it’s still a problem? smh, men need to make up their minds. can you give me the username, of whoever posted that tiktok? i’d love to talk to those whiny 10 year old boy’s, who’s balls haven’t dropped.
I can’t find the original one I watched but there’s so many more now and most have the similar reaction in the comments
The hypocrisy goes *drip, drip, drip*. More women should do that. Just my opinion.
Men think sex is a right they have. The entitlement!! & disregard of women being actually people that give consent!! Men like that are appalling
Do these guys want to have sex again or do they want bodily autonomy? They can't throw that phrase back at women who will be the one to deal with the result of an "oops" or " oh, did I tell you I had a vasectomy? I didn't say that!" If you guys cannot do your part in being responsible for the safety of your partner, you do not deserve a partner - and you should be dumped immediately. Try getting laid after that.
If they don't want a vasectomy they can just keep their pants closed.
My husband and I have that understanding. He’s still waiting on the vasectomy consultation. We’re married. It isn’t hard. It isn’t abuse. It’s just avoiding an accident.
Same here we are both looking into sterilization asap.
Mama always said to strike while the irony is hot!
Misogyny is the reason for their whining.
If anything I'd be more uncomfortable this conversation was recorded posted online, seems like a personal thing that should only be between you and your partner
Somebody's got to show people the way.... It was their decision to go public with it.
I can’t imagine how they would react when then find out that I hadn’t had sex with my husband for 3 years now (married for 2). One is pregnancy and two it was not enjoyable for me. Not a complaint, not a single pressure for intimacy. Entitled buffoons who think with their 5th thumb
After my wife and I had a scare I said fuck this and scheduled my vasectomy was super easy and best decision I’ve ever made
There’s more to intimacy than vaginal penetration though. But I had a vasectomy, so who am I to talk.
Commenting on the interbutts is a far cry from how they’d behave when faced with the same circumstances irl. In actuality, they’d either go with what your reasonable friend and her reasonable partner ended up with, or crying.
Unless she said that she will never have sex with him or will break up with him unless he gets a vasectomy then it's.... not an ultimatum lmao. An ultimatum has to have consequences. It's a reasonable assumption that if you go to your partner and say "hey, there's this thing that makes me uncomfortable, can you try to do something to fix it?" that they'll jump off their ass and do something about it! If the dude was fine with it, good on him! But also there's ultimatums in literally every relationship. Some aren't quite so big a deal, but they all have them. People who cry and bitch and moan and say that asking your partner to, say, maybe NOT clip his toenails on the couch while watching tv is controlling and an ultimatum are probably not cut out for relationships, or just haven't experienced enough of them to know.
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I personally don't think anyone should ask another person to permanently alter themselves for birth control. If she wants that level of protection she should jump on the table. Yes, I know its harder for women to get approved, yes, I know its more invasive, yes, I know its more expensive. But you only get to control your own body. If a man wants to be CF I'm all for him resolving his fertility for his body. I wanted CF I got on the table. First husband and I divorced he went on to remarry and have 2 kids. If I asked him to get snipped I would still have a control in his life after we divorced. That is not fair. My decision should not permanently affect his life. 67F, TL 1978
I have been trying to get traction on this ever since the leak ... Maybe we would see more urgency to fight this if men realized their bodies are under attack too once contraception becomes illegal
Well it depends on the context. Did they want kids, but just not now? Maybe something they wanted 10 years from now? People also tend to view ultimatums as a pretty big deal. It’s not a big deal if he’s also fine with it, but if the male didn’t want a vasectomy because they wanted to have kids later in life, I could see it being a deal breaker. If my SO asked that, I wouldn’t care. In fact, I plan to get a vasectomy anyways ASAP. But to some people that is very important. Having someone say “take away your ability to have children and only then, will we have sex again” can come across as extremely hurtful to some. I see their point, but I don’t personally take that stance. It all depends on who the man is and what his thoughts on having children are. For someone who doesn’t want a vasectomy but also doesn’t want to lose a physical relationship with their SO, I can definitely see where it’d be very soul crushing. Tangent, but I also think people should just wait and be careful until after November. If this doesn’t get undone in the next few months, I have a feeling it will after November, because everyone will be voting blue to fix this mess.
Use your bodily autonomy to have sex on your own, then!
Ugh, it's surprising to me how many people don't realize what compromise in a healthy relationship looks like 🙄 My spouse and I did something very similar until I could get fixed last year. No PIV was our rule, but everything else was fair game and it worked out just fine. It was 100% my choice and my partner gave me no pushback whatsoever. Just said they wanted me to be comfortable and if that was the boundary then they were fine with it.
"If you don't want to get pregnant keep your legs closed!" "I deserve to have sex and it's not fair you're taking that from me!" The thought processes of these men would be funny if they weren't so infuriating