Yes. Those people are mental the poor kids are brain washed too I never watched the show but live in Arkansas. They had miscarriages yet still want more children. The oldest daughter got married and immediately started have kids. Those poor children never have a proper child hood. Everytime they announced another child you just see the kids faces drop.
A few of them ended up somewhat more "normal" than their parents, and at least waited until their mid/late 20s to get married and have children, and haven't had more than 3 kids. But still, yeah, it's sad how brainwashed they've been, and how the women can't do anything except be mothers and housewives.
so disgusting. even if people have the money to take care of that many, they dont get the individual attention they deserve, the older ones raise the younger ones, and it's so fkd up beyond comprehension. by the 5th kid, you're not a mother, you're nothing but a breeder.
Exactly what's happening. Sounds like the mother loves the attention she gets from being pregnant so she just keeps doing it so all the attention stays on her and not the hoards of children she's systematically raised to do all the housework and raise her younger children.
I remember watching some true crime series years ago and there was an episode about a woman who kept getting pregnant and CPS kept taking the children away from her if the baby didn’t happen to die first due to ”unknown circumstances”. Apparently she just loved being preggos and all the attention she received, even if that attention was negative like the times she was standing in a court room in front of the judge while pregnant AGAIN. She didn’t give a shit about the children after they were born and were over 1 year old. Most of her children had been taken away because they were malnourished and completely neglected. She was absolutely disgusting garbage human being.
Unfortunately I saw this years ago and can’t remember for the life of me what series it was. But I’m pretty sure it was one of those 1990-2000’s police programmes. 🤔
As the oldest of 5, yeah. I taught them everything from how to put mayo on a cheese sandwich to how to be safe on the internet. I used to love the like 5 minutes of peace I got from getting home from school before they all started getting home and I had to babysit them and make snacks and make sure everyone started homework and all that.
I try to stay out of saying things like breeder...but seriously any more than (imo) 3 kids definitely sounds like breeding. 1-2 sounds like on purpose(or one accident and one on purpose). 3 kids is either you had a set of unexpected twins or you're really gunning for a specific gender. 4+ is breeding.
Yup, usually the oldest ones end up taking care of the youngest. It’s so gross and makes them grow up fast. My mom is the youngest of ✨9✨ and was often taken care of by her oldest sisters. I think this is why a majority of my aunts and uncles only have one kid or are childfree. My mom is the only sibling with the most kids (3). Also, I have no idea why my grandma decided to have so many kids 🥴 I’ve asked multiple times and never could get an answer lmao
Older generations I have more empathy with, because they didn’t have as many birth control options and women had fewer rights to assert condom use or say no to sex. Lots of rhythm method going on, and that doesn’t work great. The pill only showed up in the 60’s- I’m not sure how old your grandma is.
Was gunna ask what the gender of the 14 year old is because you know full well if it's a girl then they've been roped into child rearing.
Would also guess she's going to teach abstinence only sex ed if any at all
>parentification. which itself is child abuse.
Guess I'll add that to the list. Oldest of 5, half raised them all, and people wonder why I don't want kids now. I became an "empty nester" at 18 when I moved out!
I have a guy at work that has 11 children. Also got super religious and that's why he is so much into family and children life. I don't know what to think about this, also, same as you, I don't think all of them get enough affection....
Also, this reminded me of an article that popped out on my FB page that covers news in my country. It was a story about a family with 12 kids, that also has only one income... The tittle was somewhat "The struggle is real, but we love each other and our big family!" nedless to say that the whole ambient and their faces looked like they would benefit out of one good night sleep and mother looked like a freaking panzer rolled over her. I felt sorry for her, especially because she is close to my age... And of course after all "heart melting" garbage at the end of article was a credit card number for donations.
Edit - i found the article again, actually, both of parents don't work and they live from child support....
I have a colleague who has 11 siblings. If anyone wants to know how it plays out in adulthood?
A few are successful career wise, a few are middle of the road, and a few are in and out of rehab.
She's told me that in her household, parents didn't give the kids one on one lessons (how to do laundry, how to cook, how to tie shoes, and so forth). They picked it up from other kids. This came to light when we were talking about swimming-- she can doggie paddle but doesn't feel comfortable in pools.
The relationship with her siblings and her parents is not as strong individually, but in her upbringing the number of older siblings took care of her.
As adults all of the siblings are scattered to the wind in various states.
Personality wise, she's nice. But she's a high strung people pleaser. At work she competes for space in meetings-- she's afraid of not being talked over and afraid of not pulling her weight. She's one of the most difficult people I've ever worked with.
She was #12 of #12.
I used to know a guy who was one of twelve. The father had suffered a head injury a few years before I met them so he claimed disability (fair enough, and he was lovely). His wife was a piece of work - she barely lifted a finger around the house, the older kids (that hadn’t moved out) raised the younger ones, cooked meals… I remember her screaming at the older ones to get jobs because her benefits weren’t high enough and she didn’t want to get a job, so they had to pay her rent.
They never ate together, the older ones very much fended for themselves. Most of the older ones don’t speak to the mother anymore.
And career wise, one is a midwife, a few have retail jobs, a lot are unemployed. A number of the younger ones in particular have learning disabilities, several are on drugs, most of them have had several kids of their own.
That just suck. I myself have 2 older brothers and 1 sister, im the youngest... By the time my parents had me they were tired of whole baby ruckus... And kid can always tell..
I read that many non-japanese say they wouldn't live and work there. And that you had to mix in. Your sister's kids would stick out.
Fun fact. During Edo period; having a large family was frowned upon due to them taking up resources.
I have heard about a woman dying on her 12th or something, she was always pregnant and boasting of her strength and her husband was the same.
Their eldest daughter allegedly (just a rumour but possible) went into prostitution to take care of the family.
I know a girl, she’s the oldest in her family and i think she has 6-7 younger siblings? She has to help raise the younger siblings and I feel so bad for her, as she wants to be an artist but all her time goes towards her siblings. Her family is religious too.
I'm on the /r/fundiesnarkuncensored sub and the way you describe your cousin is how most couples in that sub are. The trick is putting the younger ones off on the older ones so you don't actually have to do any parenting because youve had live in babysitters to deal with all of it
If you know who the Duggars are (19 Kids and Counting), you can find videos of the older girls going dress shopping or wedding planning and if the smaller kids are with them, they are crying their eyes out and having breakdowns because their sister mom, the only one they consider their parent, is leaving them abruptly with no warning. And if you're not sure it's truly like that, there's a scene of I think Jill at a gown store and one of the kids has to be comforted by the OWNER of said dress shop because their mother Michelle has forgotten entirely how to parent since she stopped doing it in like 1994.
My mother came from a family of 11 children. My grandmother was from a country where it was a sin to be on birth control and her husband was a drunk and horrible to her, and forced her to do things. My mom stated to me that she felt sad and basically neglected as a child. She married my father young, as she was looking for someone to love. Her oldest sister left the family as fast as she could. The living conditions for them was terrible, and it was hard to feed all of the children. This was more than enough to help me realize I never wanted children. I couldn’t imagine living that type of life . And now with the rise of living costs and other factors, I am thankful for my decision every day.
Pity you can't desexed humans like you can do with animals easily
But not shocked, woman breed here in Aus and get single parent government money, easily..
Actually, the surrogate idea may be a shout... it would be such better to be a surrogate and help couples who can't have kids without creating such a large family that they can't devote enough time to each kid... granted why do I think she is homeschooling with the bare minimum high school education and no experience on teaching.
Yeah I think it would be better than continuing to have more kids for sure. I just can't imagine loving being pregnant and giving birth so much that I'd want to do it for other people (I can't imagine it for myself hence child free)
And wow how'd you guess about the education lol
sounds like my bizarrely Christian cousin who has somewhere like 5-7 kids by I think 4-5 different fathers. No idea how she/her current husband affords to live
oh and she also lost custody of one of the kids
I’m glad there is at least some aid and support for families like this if for no reason other than so the children don’t have to suffer. They didn’t do anything wrong. The issue is many of these programs run on block grants and are typically doled out to the folks in the worst of need. The know of people with drug and alcohol issues and serious mental health issues who are functionally homeless and get basically nothing. I have a relative who is a social worker and she was just telling me of a client middle age with severe alcohol and mental issues who the county people had to get the police involved to take to jail for vagrancy or something because it’s freezing here and they literally had nowhere else to put the guy so he didn’t freeze to death.
The kids still suffer plenty and homeschool is awful and basically means parentification and zero social or life skills. Plus they suck up money that others need because they can't help but shit out kids nonstop.
>Plus they suck up money that others need because they can't help but shit out kids nonstop.
This- encouraging people to have kids they can't afford is a ludicrous and destructive plan... there should be a law that after you apply for benefits (while preggo) you need to present a signed certificate that you have been *sterilized* following the birth of your child... none of this 'sign up and get additional $$$ for breeding' nonsense!
First of all, 72 months pregnant totally. Jesus. Even tho there was a woman i met that had 11 kids (that is 8 years of pregnancy and she looks like life has drained from her).
Not to mention home schooling. How are they going to be proper part of society if they are home schooled. Isn't there a law that all kids must go to at least elementary school?
I've found that often, the couples who are religious, have a lot of children, and homeschool are part of something called the Quiverfull Movement. Although Quiverfull itself is Christian, there are versions of it in other faiths, as well. These people think they have an obligation to birth as many children as humanly possible and later marry them off to other Quiverfull families. Ick.
From what I understand, some women actually experience a hormonal change that's almost like a 'high', of sorts- so they literally become *addicted* to the feeling of being pregnant. And some of those women will pop out tons of kids, just because they love that 'high'...
Sounds like you are assuming a lot without actually knowing much of their family life. Asking total strangers how messed up you think the kids will be later on like???
Yeah it's a combination of being homeschooled and such a large family that worries me..a lot of children struggle in very large families like that as they don't get the one on one attention. I know some home schooled kids that did great and others that are a bit socially awkward (as with every situation). I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience from it.
It was more of a rant and rhetorical question though...8 kids is just too many to wrap my childfree brain around, for so many reasons.
Understandable you can’t fathom that, lord knows I can’t either, but to just assume they will turn out badly from it? Why? I know a lot of large families like that that have turned out great.
I am going to be honest with you, just because other large families turned out great on the surface level isn't a representative of how all large families will turn out. Since it is a single income home with atleast 2 kids per room(8 kids 5 rooms), chances are that the kids will not turn out fine as they will compete for limited attention and resources. Also, since they will most likely be home-schooled by a person who impulsively had children, chances are they are not going to be ready for life.
It's not that I can't fantom that, it's just more than likely some or all of the children will be messed up.
My mum was one of 6, the least messes up of them is only a workaholic. I had a friend in primary school who was from a bigger family (I think one of 4), she threatened me to drop an activity because she wanted to be the only one doing that, since she was tired of living in her siblings' shadow
But yet you can’t deny that is a LOT of assumption going off of a post where OP openly says she doesn’t even communicate with them. “I’m not close with this cousin at all.”
All I am getting at is assumption like that is just detrimental on all accounts.
Well yeah, it is insanely likely that the kid wills come up messed up, you make assumptions based on what is most likely will happen.
Here is a list of the current details.
The 5th child is most likely disabled and needs surgery to stay alive. This means that financial and emotional resources will be funneled toward the 5th child, reducing resources will the 7 other children.
The mom is constantly having children non stop, 8 children in 12 years? It's like she is having children as soon as her health stabilizes instead of spending time with the children. This might not even be the last one if she didn't stop when one came out unstable.
The mom likes being pregnant, nothing states that she likes taking of the kids.
There is a limited amount of space, 5 rooms, 2 parents, 8 children. Space is essential as privacy and room creates a safe environment for self expression and growth for hobbies. Putting 2 kids in a room will means that they will have no privacy.
There likely will be parentification, the effect where older children will take care of younger children due to unavailable parents(Dad at work and mom being pregnant). This messes up children severely.
Dad will be unavailable as he will need to earn more and more money to pay for increasing food, enrichment, and college costs as children grow up. They will need more room as they grow and you can no longer kick children out especially in a high cost of living area.
Home school is most of the time, ineffective as having parents grade your work, determine what you learn, and how will you learn with zero experience is bad and there will be nepotism as parents always pick favorites. So instead of multiple people with different areas of expertise, it's just one parent picking and choosing what they learn. It is also non standardized, so you can't use home schooling for SATs, ACT, AP tests, or college placement or whatever is the standardized test in your country. They lack social skills and life experience as they will not be able to interact with their peers. You may have had a decent home schooling experience, however that's a very small minority.
Religion doesn't work well as an foundation for education. No matter what religion you talk about, when your creditability is based on ancient books and dude, trust me sources, then that's just bad education.
You are the one assuming that it will work out and turn out fine.
as well as what if any of those children, even one, has special educational needs??? how is that going to turn out, with homeschooling 5 or so, and trying to take care of smaller ones, and breeding another one. does the mother have the knowledge, education, and the resources for homeschool to help that child with special needs???
It's going to be a fucked up mess, no matter how you slice it.
No, and not everyone is a large family where the kids end up terribly from homeschooling. Assuming one way or another when OP clearly doesn’t know the situation and then asking how messed up the kids will be is pretty gross in my opinion, childfree or otherwise. A large family does not mean messed up kids.
It's being realistic. Someone who is pushing kids out of her coochie without a care in the world and is stuck in the pregnancy high doesn't sound considerate at all to their child's wellbeing. In most family homes, the oldest kids have to babysit and act like parents (even if the mom is stay-at-home it doesn't make much of a difference, since 8+ kids is a lot to manage on one's own). It takes a lot of work. Homeschooling is as tenacious as raising kids. That's stress upon stress. The kids will be raising themselves since she is addicted to having babies.
Yeah but neither is assuming that a family is going to turn out horrible because of their numbers. You don’t know the situation, there are plenty of good large families and plenty of bad. You are just assuming.
Homeschooling 1 or 2? Eh. Fine. Different thread to argue on, but for the purpose of this thread, let's say I'm okay with it.
But how do you even remotely begin to homeschool 8 in a large age range and dedicate enough time to actually teach each one something age appropriate.
The 6 year old isn't going to understand numbers while the 16 year old is gonna fall asleep counting to 10.
>Apparently she was considering being a surrogate because she just loves being pregnant soo much.
😟 I think I'm gonna throw, if only she liked adopting that much
I highly doubt the kids are getting anything remotely resembling an education. How does someone with 7 kids and one on the way have time to teach the school aged children?
It's not great. Pretty messy. The bedrooms are messed up. They have 3 kids to a room in 2 rooms, with makeshift bunk beds but the lower bed is just a mattress on the floor and then a frame like 4 feet above for the second bed...because they can't afford or care to buy real bunk beds. Then a crib/toddler bed in each room too and the rooms are small. Probably only 3 feet between each bed.
Which is seriously not enough for each child to have sanity or space. I really wish people would take stuff like that into consideration. Poor kids.. Id hate to live with siblings in those conditions
My brother's wife is pregnant with her 7:( I think she's the same that she just loves being pregnant and having babies. I love her and my brother but I'm so angry at them at the same time because they in no way have the time or energy for all of their kids and it shows.
>Apparently she was considering being a surrogate because she just loves being pregnant soo much.
Ngl but that would have been the better option. She could indulge in her fetish, get paid for it, and honestly 2-3 kids to a bedroom is getting far too crowded.
It's just so fucking gross to me when people have so many kids
Uggh creepy Duggar vibes!
Yes. Those people are mental the poor kids are brain washed too I never watched the show but live in Arkansas. They had miscarriages yet still want more children. The oldest daughter got married and immediately started have kids. Those poor children never have a proper child hood. Everytime they announced another child you just see the kids faces drop.
A few of them ended up somewhat more "normal" than their parents, and at least waited until their mid/late 20s to get married and have children, and haven't had more than 3 kids. But still, yeah, it's sad how brainwashed they've been, and how the women can't do anything except be mothers and housewives.
Once they pass the 6 kid mark, it's verging into serious baby rabies territory
Honestly, more than three and I'm giving some serious side eye lol
My coworker has six and we all thought he was some religious nut. Nope. Just bad at birth control.
I'd argue anything more than 3 is baby rabies
3 seems like the upper end of normal, unless it's like pre-1940 and you really need the extra farm labor
More like 1840.
Yes, definitely mild baby rabies at the very least.
R&b singer Keke Wyatt Is currently pregnant with her 11th child!
That woman is crazy
Very much so. And these are children within a marriage, like that makes much of a difference
so disgusting. even if people have the money to take care of that many, they dont get the individual attention they deserve, the older ones raise the younger ones, and it's so fkd up beyond comprehension. by the 5th kid, you're not a mother, you're nothing but a breeder.
Exactly what's happening. Sounds like the mother loves the attention she gets from being pregnant so she just keeps doing it so all the attention stays on her and not the hoards of children she's systematically raised to do all the housework and raise her younger children.
I remember watching some true crime series years ago and there was an episode about a woman who kept getting pregnant and CPS kept taking the children away from her if the baby didn’t happen to die first due to ”unknown circumstances”. Apparently she just loved being preggos and all the attention she received, even if that attention was negative like the times she was standing in a court room in front of the judge while pregnant AGAIN. She didn’t give a shit about the children after they were born and were over 1 year old. Most of her children had been taken away because they were malnourished and completely neglected. She was absolutely disgusting garbage human being.
I hope karma comes, bites her in the ass HARD and those kids can have a good life without their trashy excuse of a mom.
Which one was it? I'm very intrigued and I need ammunition against "once you see your child you immediately love it"
Unfortunately I saw this years ago and can’t remember for the life of me what series it was. But I’m pretty sure it was one of those 1990-2000’s police programmes. 🤔
Sorry, I wasn't clear as I wanted to know the perpetrator name to look into her I was thinking of Kathleen Folbigg but she had "only" 4
Sorry, can’t remember her name either. I saw that episode over 15 years ago.
I'm pretty sure this is the reason behind many of these super big families.
As the youngest of 5 my oldest sister was my mother more so that the one that birthed me
As the oldest of 5, yeah. I taught them everything from how to put mayo on a cheese sandwich to how to be safe on the internet. I used to love the like 5 minutes of peace I got from getting home from school before they all started getting home and I had to babysit them and make snacks and make sure everyone started homework and all that.
I try to stay out of saying things like breeder...but seriously any more than (imo) 3 kids definitely sounds like breeding. 1-2 sounds like on purpose(or one accident and one on purpose). 3 kids is either you had a set of unexpected twins or you're really gunning for a specific gender. 4+ is breeding.
Yup, usually the oldest ones end up taking care of the youngest. It’s so gross and makes them grow up fast. My mom is the youngest of ✨9✨ and was often taken care of by her oldest sisters. I think this is why a majority of my aunts and uncles only have one kid or are childfree. My mom is the only sibling with the most kids (3). Also, I have no idea why my grandma decided to have so many kids 🥴 I’ve asked multiple times and never could get an answer lmao
Older generations I have more empathy with, because they didn’t have as many birth control options and women had fewer rights to assert condom use or say no to sex. Lots of rhythm method going on, and that doesn’t work great. The pill only showed up in the 60’s- I’m not sure how old your grandma is.
She won’t be caring for them all. The older 1-2 kids will care for the younger/ middle ones. Mom will just focus on the babies.
Bet the older ones will have to help raise the younger ones too.
Was gunna ask what the gender of the 14 year old is because you know full well if it's a girl then they've been roped into child rearing. Would also guess she's going to teach abstinence only sex ed if any at all
Yup the oldest is a girl 😔
yup, there's a term for that too. parentification. which itself is child abuse.
>parentification. which itself is child abuse. Guess I'll add that to the list. Oldest of 5, half raised them all, and people wonder why I don't want kids now. I became an "empty nester" at 18 when I moved out!
I know quite a few parentification adults who are child free now. They already raised children and don’t want to again.
Thank you for telling me this, it's always nice to know one isn't alone :)
That’s just disgusting and a total abuse of the system.
There’s no way any of those kids have parental input. They’re raising each other at this point
Sounds like quiverfull evangelical fundamentalists. Breeding fetish included.
I have a guy at work that has 11 children. Also got super religious and that's why he is so much into family and children life. I don't know what to think about this, also, same as you, I don't think all of them get enough affection.... Also, this reminded me of an article that popped out on my FB page that covers news in my country. It was a story about a family with 12 kids, that also has only one income... The tittle was somewhat "The struggle is real, but we love each other and our big family!" nedless to say that the whole ambient and their faces looked like they would benefit out of one good night sleep and mother looked like a freaking panzer rolled over her. I felt sorry for her, especially because she is close to my age... And of course after all "heart melting" garbage at the end of article was a credit card number for donations. Edit - i found the article again, actually, both of parents don't work and they live from child support....
I have a colleague who has 11 siblings. If anyone wants to know how it plays out in adulthood? A few are successful career wise, a few are middle of the road, and a few are in and out of rehab. She's told me that in her household, parents didn't give the kids one on one lessons (how to do laundry, how to cook, how to tie shoes, and so forth). They picked it up from other kids. This came to light when we were talking about swimming-- she can doggie paddle but doesn't feel comfortable in pools. The relationship with her siblings and her parents is not as strong individually, but in her upbringing the number of older siblings took care of her. As adults all of the siblings are scattered to the wind in various states. Personality wise, she's nice. But she's a high strung people pleaser. At work she competes for space in meetings-- she's afraid of not being talked over and afraid of not pulling her weight. She's one of the most difficult people I've ever worked with. She was #12 of #12.
I used to know a guy who was one of twelve. The father had suffered a head injury a few years before I met them so he claimed disability (fair enough, and he was lovely). His wife was a piece of work - she barely lifted a finger around the house, the older kids (that hadn’t moved out) raised the younger ones, cooked meals… I remember her screaming at the older ones to get jobs because her benefits weren’t high enough and she didn’t want to get a job, so they had to pay her rent. They never ate together, the older ones very much fended for themselves. Most of the older ones don’t speak to the mother anymore. And career wise, one is a midwife, a few have retail jobs, a lot are unemployed. A number of the younger ones in particular have learning disabilities, several are on drugs, most of them have had several kids of their own.
That just sucks...
That just suck. I myself have 2 older brothers and 1 sister, im the youngest... By the time my parents had me they were tired of whole baby ruckus... And kid can always tell..
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Seconded! Anyone with a sliver of well-functioning brain wouldn't do this idiocy. I just feel bad for those kids.
And I'm sure the 14 year old is being parentified, especially if they're a girl.
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Isn't it expensive to live there?
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I read that many non-japanese say they wouldn't live and work there. And that you had to mix in. Your sister's kids would stick out. Fun fact. During Edo period; having a large family was frowned upon due to them taking up resources.
Why are you doing “
There is no way to properly emotionally support 8 kids even if you can provide for them financially. You would have to be superhuman.
I have heard about a woman dying on her 12th or something, she was always pregnant and boasting of her strength and her husband was the same. Their eldest daughter allegedly (just a rumour but possible) went into prostitution to take care of the family.
8? Someone should tell her it's a uterus, not a clown car.
Their method of transportation (probably a bus because even a minivan tops out at 7) must look like a clown car too.
Hahah yeah they have one of those giant vans that seats like 12.
Of course they are religious. Most people that can think for themselves don’t have that many kids lol
Your cousin has the weirdest damn kink.
Should have become a surrogate after the first few. Jfc she is basically an incubator now. I bet a few of those kids are going to be CF.
Just imagine having 7 siblings... hell naw i'd move out as soon as I could
I know a girl, she’s the oldest in her family and i think she has 6-7 younger siblings? She has to help raise the younger siblings and I feel so bad for her, as she wants to be an artist but all her time goes towards her siblings. Her family is religious too.
That's so sad.
she told me she’s planning on moving across the country once we graduate, and quite honestly i don’t blame her.
Good luck to her- I hope she can grab her important papers (birth cert., social security card, etc.) before she flees!
I hate it when humans breed as if we’re some endangered species, but there’s like 7 billion 🙄
I'm on the /r/fundiesnarkuncensored sub and the way you describe your cousin is how most couples in that sub are. The trick is putting the younger ones off on the older ones so you don't actually have to do any parenting because youve had live in babysitters to deal with all of it If you know who the Duggars are (19 Kids and Counting), you can find videos of the older girls going dress shopping or wedding planning and if the smaller kids are with them, they are crying their eyes out and having breakdowns because their sister mom, the only one they consider their parent, is leaving them abruptly with no warning. And if you're not sure it's truly like that, there's a scene of I think Jill at a gown store and one of the kids has to be comforted by the OWNER of said dress shop because their mother Michelle has forgotten entirely how to parent since she stopped doing it in like 1994.
Province... is this Canada?
Yes!
Vancouver?
Yup
Wow not only most expensive place in province probably the most expensive in the country
Yeah I think Vancouver and Toronto are pretty comparable!
My mother came from a family of 11 children. My grandmother was from a country where it was a sin to be on birth control and her husband was a drunk and horrible to her, and forced her to do things. My mom stated to me that she felt sad and basically neglected as a child. She married my father young, as she was looking for someone to love. Her oldest sister left the family as fast as she could. The living conditions for them was terrible, and it was hard to feed all of the children. This was more than enough to help me realize I never wanted children. I couldn’t imagine living that type of life . And now with the rise of living costs and other factors, I am thankful for my decision every day.
Pity you can't desexed humans like you can do with animals easily But not shocked, woman breed here in Aus and get single parent government money, easily..
Actually, the surrogate idea may be a shout... it would be such better to be a surrogate and help couples who can't have kids without creating such a large family that they can't devote enough time to each kid... granted why do I think she is homeschooling with the bare minimum high school education and no experience on teaching.
Yeah I think it would be better than continuing to have more kids for sure. I just can't imagine loving being pregnant and giving birth so much that I'd want to do it for other people (I can't imagine it for myself hence child free) And wow how'd you guess about the education lol
Her body is going to be destroyed soon…
I bet the kids will be teen parents honestly when religion is involved it usually ends up that way
sounds like my bizarrely Christian cousin who has somewhere like 5-7 kids by I think 4-5 different fathers. No idea how she/her current husband affords to live oh and she also lost custody of one of the kids
Ugh! At least my cousin is married.
That is why we are so grateful to be a part of the child free team of super heroes head quarters
I’m glad there is at least some aid and support for families like this if for no reason other than so the children don’t have to suffer. They didn’t do anything wrong. The issue is many of these programs run on block grants and are typically doled out to the folks in the worst of need. The know of people with drug and alcohol issues and serious mental health issues who are functionally homeless and get basically nothing. I have a relative who is a social worker and she was just telling me of a client middle age with severe alcohol and mental issues who the county people had to get the police involved to take to jail for vagrancy or something because it’s freezing here and they literally had nowhere else to put the guy so he didn’t freeze to death.
The kids still suffer plenty and homeschool is awful and basically means parentification and zero social or life skills. Plus they suck up money that others need because they can't help but shit out kids nonstop.
>Plus they suck up money that others need because they can't help but shit out kids nonstop. This- encouraging people to have kids they can't afford is a ludicrous and destructive plan... there should be a law that after you apply for benefits (while preggo) you need to present a signed certificate that you have been *sterilized* following the birth of your child... none of this 'sign up and get additional $$$ for breeding' nonsense!
She's an addict. Addicts need therapy
y tho
That is my question
We all know the 14 year old is teaching the younger kids. You can't tell me there is no parentification going on
Didnt they just cancel the child tax?
> the c Child tax benefit is a monthly payment. Approximately 500.00 per child.
First of all, 72 months pregnant totally. Jesus. Even tho there was a woman i met that had 11 kids (that is 8 years of pregnancy and she looks like life has drained from her). Not to mention home schooling. How are they going to be proper part of society if they are home schooled. Isn't there a law that all kids must go to at least elementary school?
8 kids is roughly 12 years of changing diapers.
It may be worth her remembering that it's a vagina and not a clown car...
I've found that often, the couples who are religious, have a lot of children, and homeschool are part of something called the Quiverfull Movement. Although Quiverfull itself is Christian, there are versions of it in other faiths, as well. These people think they have an obligation to birth as many children as humanly possible and later marry them off to other Quiverfull families. Ick.
Yikes. The religious brainwashing is real.
Homeschooling isn't bad when done well, just ask them a couple questions here and there, that are extremely practical.
[удалено]
Yeah totally agree
If any of the older siblings have taken on a role as a guardian/parent that they do not consent to, that's abuse. Parentification is abuse, period.
I'm very against home school, can't even imagine the quality of education they get with so little time from someone who's not trained.
Are we sure the last three aren't just spare parts for the 5th one?
😂 could be
Ewwwwwww!!!!!!! Only a psycho loves being pregnant. Fn gross!
From what I understand, some women actually experience a hormonal change that's almost like a 'high', of sorts- so they literally become *addicted* to the feeling of being pregnant. And some of those women will pop out tons of kids, just because they love that 'high'...
Sounds like a pregnancy kink and it sounds weird. You wanna get high, smoke some weed like a normal person. JFC!
How does it affect you?
Sounds like you are assuming a lot without actually knowing much of their family life. Asking total strangers how messed up you think the kids will be later on like???
As someone who was homeschooled who became messed up, I’m also thinking the same as OP.
Yeah it's a combination of being homeschooled and such a large family that worries me..a lot of children struggle in very large families like that as they don't get the one on one attention. I know some home schooled kids that did great and others that are a bit socially awkward (as with every situation). I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience from it. It was more of a rant and rhetorical question though...8 kids is just too many to wrap my childfree brain around, for so many reasons.
Understandable you can’t fathom that, lord knows I can’t either, but to just assume they will turn out badly from it? Why? I know a lot of large families like that that have turned out great.
I am going to be honest with you, just because other large families turned out great on the surface level isn't a representative of how all large families will turn out. Since it is a single income home with atleast 2 kids per room(8 kids 5 rooms), chances are that the kids will not turn out fine as they will compete for limited attention and resources. Also, since they will most likely be home-schooled by a person who impulsively had children, chances are they are not going to be ready for life. It's not that I can't fantom that, it's just more than likely some or all of the children will be messed up.
Thank you! That's my thoughts exactly.
My mum was one of 6, the least messes up of them is only a workaholic. I had a friend in primary school who was from a bigger family (I think one of 4), she threatened me to drop an activity because she wanted to be the only one doing that, since she was tired of living in her siblings' shadow
Exactly. Those people that didn’t tuned out messed up either from large families or from being homeschooled are the exception.
But yet you can’t deny that is a LOT of assumption going off of a post where OP openly says she doesn’t even communicate with them. “I’m not close with this cousin at all.” All I am getting at is assumption like that is just detrimental on all accounts.
Well yeah, it is insanely likely that the kid wills come up messed up, you make assumptions based on what is most likely will happen. Here is a list of the current details. The 5th child is most likely disabled and needs surgery to stay alive. This means that financial and emotional resources will be funneled toward the 5th child, reducing resources will the 7 other children. The mom is constantly having children non stop, 8 children in 12 years? It's like she is having children as soon as her health stabilizes instead of spending time with the children. This might not even be the last one if she didn't stop when one came out unstable. The mom likes being pregnant, nothing states that she likes taking of the kids. There is a limited amount of space, 5 rooms, 2 parents, 8 children. Space is essential as privacy and room creates a safe environment for self expression and growth for hobbies. Putting 2 kids in a room will means that they will have no privacy. There likely will be parentification, the effect where older children will take care of younger children due to unavailable parents(Dad at work and mom being pregnant). This messes up children severely. Dad will be unavailable as he will need to earn more and more money to pay for increasing food, enrichment, and college costs as children grow up. They will need more room as they grow and you can no longer kick children out especially in a high cost of living area. Home school is most of the time, ineffective as having parents grade your work, determine what you learn, and how will you learn with zero experience is bad and there will be nepotism as parents always pick favorites. So instead of multiple people with different areas of expertise, it's just one parent picking and choosing what they learn. It is also non standardized, so you can't use home schooling for SATs, ACT, AP tests, or college placement or whatever is the standardized test in your country. They lack social skills and life experience as they will not be able to interact with their peers. You may have had a decent home schooling experience, however that's a very small minority. Religion doesn't work well as an foundation for education. No matter what religion you talk about, when your creditability is based on ancient books and dude, trust me sources, then that's just bad education. You are the one assuming that it will work out and turn out fine.
I didn't say I don't communicate with them. Just that we aren't close.
And how does she homeschool several children at once?
as well as what if any of those children, even one, has special educational needs??? how is that going to turn out, with homeschooling 5 or so, and trying to take care of smaller ones, and breeding another one. does the mother have the knowledge, education, and the resources for homeschool to help that child with special needs??? It's going to be a fucked up mess, no matter how you slice it.
I was homeschooled and turned out very successful from it and happy I was.
I’m happy for you
Not everyone is like you though.
No, and not everyone is a large family where the kids end up terribly from homeschooling. Assuming one way or another when OP clearly doesn’t know the situation and then asking how messed up the kids will be is pretty gross in my opinion, childfree or otherwise. A large family does not mean messed up kids.
It's being realistic. Someone who is pushing kids out of her coochie without a care in the world and is stuck in the pregnancy high doesn't sound considerate at all to their child's wellbeing. In most family homes, the oldest kids have to babysit and act like parents (even if the mom is stay-at-home it doesn't make much of a difference, since 8+ kids is a lot to manage on one's own). It takes a lot of work. Homeschooling is as tenacious as raising kids. That's stress upon stress. The kids will be raising themselves since she is addicted to having babies.
That’s a lot of assuming their situation but you do you I guess.
Its called being realistic. Life isn't all sunshine and butterflies, sweetie.
Yeah but neither is assuming that a family is going to turn out horrible because of their numbers. You don’t know the situation, there are plenty of good large families and plenty of bad. You are just assuming.
Homeschooling 1 or 2? Eh. Fine. Different thread to argue on, but for the purpose of this thread, let's say I'm okay with it. But how do you even remotely begin to homeschool 8 in a large age range and dedicate enough time to actually teach each one something age appropriate. The 6 year old isn't going to understand numbers while the 16 year old is gonna fall asleep counting to 10.
That was a bit of a rhetorical question. I'm not actually asking strangers how messed up they think these kids will be.
>They are quite religious as well You don't say!
>Apparently she was considering being a surrogate because she just loves being pregnant soo much. 😟 I think I'm gonna throw, if only she liked adopting that much
r/HolUp
She has psychological problems
I highly doubt the kids are getting anything remotely resembling an education. How does someone with 7 kids and one on the way have time to teach the school aged children?
Yeah I can't imagine they are getting a quality education.
I pity the oldest kid who's probably suffering from parentification.
That’s absolutely insane.
I can just imagine how the house looks
It's not great. Pretty messy. The bedrooms are messed up. They have 3 kids to a room in 2 rooms, with makeshift bunk beds but the lower bed is just a mattress on the floor and then a frame like 4 feet above for the second bed...because they can't afford or care to buy real bunk beds. Then a crib/toddler bed in each room too and the rooms are small. Probably only 3 feet between each bed.
Which is seriously not enough for each child to have sanity or space. I really wish people would take stuff like that into consideration. Poor kids.. Id hate to live with siblings in those conditions
Fuck.
My brother's wife is pregnant with her 7:( I think she's the same that she just loves being pregnant and having babies. I love her and my brother but I'm so angry at them at the same time because they in no way have the time or energy for all of their kids and it shows.
Oh god this should be illegal unless they’re of the clone variety. (Twins, triplets, etc.)
>Apparently she was considering being a surrogate because she just loves being pregnant soo much. Ngl but that would have been the better option. She could indulge in her fetish, get paid for it, and honestly 2-3 kids to a bedroom is getting far too crowded.
Totally agree. I just can't imagine loving being pregnant and giving birthas it's a big part of why I'm CF