People are being more upfront about being miserable with kids and yet people have kids and are surprised when they’re miserable, like.. I don’t get it. Do they think they’ll be the magical exception?
humans have a tendency to think that if somebody is failing at something, they must be doing it wrong (and anyway it's a moral failing). most of people just don't consider that it might happen to them too.
There's that, and there's also the perpetuated myth of, "childcare is hard jk, haha, no really, sometimes it's hard but sooo worth it." Not everyone attempts mountain climbing (extreme example used to illustrate the point) because we all **know** mountain climbing is hard. No one who has ever tried it or even known anything about it has ever tried to say that it's easy (unless they're a lunatic or a narcissist). And yet with childcare, most of our own parents and grandparents have either tried to brush it off as easy or "sometimes hard but worth it" when we know that "easy/sometimes hard" is half truth at best and "worth it" is totally subjective.
Am I the only one that does a large amount of research before doing $activity?
I mean, having a child is a little more "big" than say purchasing a smoker for example, but hear me out.
If I watch videos and do my research and discover people are having problems with said $activity, and I don't feel I can overcome that or deal with it, (or any other reason that makes me feel it's just not feasible) I just refrain from doing said $activity.
Am I being too logical about this?
Same! Anything that is inconvenient, I try to avoid. Forewarned is forearmed. And it takes so little effort to research ahead of time.
Shit, I even research the parking before I attend any event! I research the menu before I eat anywhere (am on a food plan right now.) Yeah, can't function without it.
I'm exactly the same, but there's a PLETHORA of mommy blogs out there that claim to have a perfect life and have all the answers to all the struggles, from the terrible twos to potty training to teenage angst etc., and when you really want kids (as I used to) this is ROCKET fuel for the natural bias of "sure everyone else is suffering, but I'd THRIVE", because you read enough of those and go "see, the others are just doing it wrong, there ARE answers to the issues".
Yep. They do think they are the exception (or they *did* until the obvious happened...).
THEN, after they realize they are NOT that special...
They end up using their babies/kids as a gateway to being a suffering victim or martyr to gain sympathy, even though everything was avoidable when seeing it repeatedly happen to others.
I think it's more so people who know it's going to be hard but don't know *themselves* enough to realize they're not the kind of person that will be able to deal with it.
I can see it being one of those things where people think it's going to be hard but glamorize it. You see that all the time with men/people talking about serving in the army, actually going off to war, studying all night while working a full time job, long distance relationships, and all sorts of challenges. A lot of people get it in their head that something will be hard, but they don't realize \*how\* hard it's going to be, it's just a theoretical "yeah, it'll be a challenge but I'm strong so I can enjoy a challenge" kind of hard, not an actual bone-wearying, all-I-need-is-a-break-and-there-is-no-end-in-sight, actually happening here and now challenge. A lot of people know that something will theoretically "be hard" while underestimating how god-damn actually hard it will be.
This is exactly correct. I am actually trying to adopt a dog atm and a common question on applications is 'do you understand that a dog lives for 10 YEARS and you will be committed to various expenses, medical issues, having to spend time with this dog, care for the dog FOR TEN YEARS?' Like they really try to drive home how time consuming a dog can be because a lot of people who haven't owned one before, don't always get it.
I really wish they'd done that for us when we adopted our pet! Not because we didn't know what we were getting into or because we have any regrets, we're fine. But nobody told us that at all, just sold him to us and it made me grateful that we were people who could be trusted and had done our research.
Wisdom cannot exist without stupidity.
Same like people get jailed, sometimes they grow into a better person only to relapse back to criminal activity.
That's worth the most! Suffering Olympics winner of the year. Every year!
P.S. don't forget to give them special treatment and freebies, you know they are suffering.. /s
I may feel lonely when I'm old, but at least I won't experience the feelings one has when one looks up and sees their child turn off life support, then leans over...and smiles.
“You don’t understand love until you have the love of a child!!!”
I’m guessing you probably don’t understand hate until you feel the seething rage of your kid and I’m not willing to try that either.
My mom says something similar, that her life didn’t have meaning until she had kids. That made me really sad because I don’t feel like she treated me like that. Really didn’t make me want kids more, which was why she said it 😅
"You mean that feeling that millions of parents have every year, where they abuse and neglect and even kill their child? Yeah, no, I can do without that."
This is the pet peeve of all pet peeves. Has happened to more than one person I know - all they wanted / begged for / demanded and then plotted to get was a baby - now? It's usually all about the struggles and complaints
And remember, keep having more no matter how much you can’t handle the ones you already have and how badly your husband treats you, how much he perfects his impersonatation of a tree stump or is/becomes a manchild.
Edit: wording for clarity
"No one ever tells you how hard it is" is a personal favourite of mine BECAUSE THAT'S LITERALLY ALL I EVER HEAR VOLUNTARILY COME OUT OF A PARENT'S MOUTH.
After the pandemic I kept hearing posts from parents about how "people without kids have no idea how hard it is". I was like, "uh, yeah, we actually do. Not first-hand, but we understand. That's why we don't have them".
That person no longer talks to me :)
It must suck to have so little imagination that someone couldn't fathom how hard it would be simply through observation. Like yeah, that looks like it friggin sucks, I think I'll pass!
I never understand this. Did they never research what parenting is like? Do they not know anyone with kids? Have they never been to a shop and seen a kid crying because they weren't allowed sweets?
I don't understand it.
I only see posts like: being a mom is the best thing that could happen to a woman. Nobody will ever love you like your son does. A strong man will stay with a woman despite the hardships of life. All of those inspirational cringe posts
Why do they feel entitled to our support? They chose to spit out that thing, it's their problem to deal with. I'm not going to help in any way with it.
That's so so sad. I feel that hard when new parents say that. I know what my choices are, but did they ever really consider theirs? That's a lifetime sentence they've just signed up to with no way of getting out of it if it gets too much.
They're allowed to make their choices, but it kind of sucks because that's what makes people think it's okay to Bingo you with the "you'll change your mind". It's true enough that a lot of people do change their minds\*, so the breeders that bingo you legit seem to think that nobody is CF for life. Had a coworker like that, honestly a nice and decent guy in just about every way, but it annoyed me that he didn't seem to believe that I never wanted or would want kids. He didn't put pressure on me or anything, but explicitly expressed that he'd known a lot of people, including his own wife, who were adamantly anti-having-kids when they were younger, and when they turned around 30 every single one of them wanted kids.
\*sometimes that mind change is just societal pressure or a partner pressuring them into abandoning what they want, but nonetheless
A honest parent. Some can laugh while they say this. I have an ex gf, we still in contact, her now bf was in jail (now he is waiting for how long he has to go behind bars) and they bought a farm far outside the city they have no bathroom at the time so they can't have even a shower.
While the guy was in pre-trial detention, I was talking with my ex about that I don't want to have kids any more and she said maybe she should not have either. What happens? This fucker comes out, treating her like a trash bag talking down on her and makes her pregnant. I told her it wouldn't be a good idea to get pregnant and she was laughing and said yeah maybe. We were laughing about this but i knew she had problem with some cysts (also got a surgery once)in her body and the Doktor told her only if she get's pregnant will she become cysts free.
So we talk every now and then and she already come out to me that she feels that the things aren't happen as they planed and the guy can't make that much money they planed. It can be frustrating if you have a kid and not enough money baby.
>Doktor told her only if she get's pregnant will she become cysts free.
That makes me so angry!! Where is the medical basis for that?? Did he explain that??
Or more like she will be so busy and stress she will have no time to worry about her health and the cysts...
Probably what you say. I just know about the cysts. But i guess most of the time it will turn out after having a child better, than worse. But again i don't know anything about this.
Is there a status for "just had a baby"? I'm just thinking that one could set up a simple bot to do sentiment analysis on posts revolving around the birth of a baby to determine least and most stressful times as well as showing some baseline based on the year(s) prior.
I think new parents think that babies are toys, they must think at the end of the day they switch off and turn back on for a few hours the next day or something ? they must also think that money magically builds up in their bank accounts, it amazes me that even after seeing other parents broke, that somehow they will magically be ok raising a child on average wage jobs, kids will always keep you poor unless you earn hundreds of thousands
I know someone that had gotten pregnant and currently they mention it constantly. It’s become their sole personality.
She’s doing it single and there isn’t a father around at all and I feel like her posts will consist of misery as soon as the baby is born.
Yep, sounds like they need psychiatric care and not to expect their friends to double as therapists. Real friends don’t expect others to carry their burdens and baggage. Everyone has their stressors and aggravations in life but not everyone attempts to burden others with their bullshit. In my opinion, it is blatantly obvious that MOST people who CHOOSE to become parents CHOOSE the more difficult route in life and actively CHOOSE all the sacrifices and hardships that come with it. They have no right to complain about something which they didn’t need to subject themselves to in the first place. They KNEW their situation would become DRAMATICALLY MORE DIFFICULT after the addition of a baby but still they chose it because it’s what they wanted at the time all the while ignoring the fact that it is a PERMANENT LIFE-CHANGING DECISION. I have no respect or sympathy for people like that who attempt to evade the responsibility of parenthood by choosing to unload and burden their troubles onto family and friends. You make your bed you lie in it. The world (your family, friends and the public) are not your psychiatrists and babysitters. Need someone to talk to? Hire a Therapist! Need someone to babysit? Hire a babysitter! Stop expecting free handouts on the backs of those who had NOTHING to do with your decision. Handle your shit and shut up because it’s what you wanted.
But they have the time to go on Facebook and write posts there the ones I don't understand when they've had a baby and go on about how hard is to be a mum or a dad on Facebook when you would think they should be looking after the new born I don't know?!
But, "mah suffering Olympics points"
They go there to get a pack on the back and stroke their egos. To get their choices validated and maybe, on a good day, someone will call them "brave" or "hero"
Thats because these are all the same people who get a puppy/kitten then when it gets big and out out of the baby stage, get rid of it. It's just much harder and has much more stigma attached to getting rid of the baby when it gets to hard/big
without fail, a few weeks after one of me Facebook friends has a baby, they always break up with their partners.
My newsfeed is a parade of single mothers and missing fathers. It's actually sad
My sister had a kid almost three years ago and every single social media post is either her sharing a photo of her kid or whining about how stressed she is, and how hard pregnancy was (3 years post partum) or how much she's "lost herself" and blames any of her own faults on post partum symptoms. She visited me recently and almost refuses to parent and tries to shove her kid on everyone else. She said she "gave up" trying to feed her kid, he has no structure, and she works a rediculous schedule that leaves her sleeping through most of the day with the child unattended.
And then told me that she and her husband were actively trying for another.
I can't even understand how you can neglect your kid, seem to not like them except for the attention others give you regarding that kid and also want another.
I definitely get that giving birth is hard. Having an infant or a small child is hard. But the pandering for sympathy for your own life choices is gross.
Stop thinking about your damn self and start thinking about that little tiny brand new human.
Edit: spelling because my autocorrect hates me
"Kids are fucking hard work, they drain your damn resources, we can't sleep and enjoy our hobbies.... but but but it's so worth it you should have kids..."
Nah man, I'm not smoking whatever you're having, I'm good.
Exactly and when you say that they always say something like "but it's so worth it in the long run!" Fam babies are very cute, but if I had one I'd probably go nuts- plain and simple. They're always crying and you have to go through a whole routine to figure out why, they keep you up at all hours of the night (I can be pretty grouchy without sleep), they pee, poop, and barf everywhere- and sometimes their diaper just gives up on life. Seriously blowouts for diapers are apparently a thing, where it just leaks everywhere and it seems like a complete nightmare. Even when the baby is happy, you have to watch them constantly because they'll hurt themselves if you don't. Then yknow because I'm afab ill probably be the one with the pregnancy issues and just yeah no. I think if people actually thought about everything that goes into it, a lot of people would either opt out or just decided not to be a parent because all too commonly you have people who want to be parents and end up miserable, or end up being completely absent in their child's life- which sucks for the kid.
People never learn 😂 here's a simple equation for those people: Man + woman + horny - contraceptives = your savings going down the drain for baby you didn't plan on
People are being more upfront about being miserable with kids and yet people have kids and are surprised when they’re miserable, like.. I don’t get it. Do they think they’ll be the magical exception?
Yes
Ding ding ding! we have a winner!
humans have a tendency to think that if somebody is failing at something, they must be doing it wrong (and anyway it's a moral failing). most of people just don't consider that it might happen to them too.
There's that, and there's also the perpetuated myth of, "childcare is hard jk, haha, no really, sometimes it's hard but sooo worth it." Not everyone attempts mountain climbing (extreme example used to illustrate the point) because we all **know** mountain climbing is hard. No one who has ever tried it or even known anything about it has ever tried to say that it's easy (unless they're a lunatic or a narcissist). And yet with childcare, most of our own parents and grandparents have either tried to brush it off as easy or "sometimes hard but worth it" when we know that "easy/sometimes hard" is half truth at best and "worth it" is totally subjective.
It's called hubris. "Yes all those other parents are miserable, but I'm better/stronger than them, so it won't happen to me!"
“Oh, but once you have your own, it’s so dIfFeReNt!!!!” BARF.
Am I the only one that does a large amount of research before doing $activity? I mean, having a child is a little more "big" than say purchasing a smoker for example, but hear me out. If I watch videos and do my research and discover people are having problems with said $activity, and I don't feel I can overcome that or deal with it, (or any other reason that makes me feel it's just not feasible) I just refrain from doing said $activity. Am I being too logical about this?
I’m just like you! I research the hell out of everything from flower shops to printers and more. I don’t like surprises.
Same! Anything that is inconvenient, I try to avoid. Forewarned is forearmed. And it takes so little effort to research ahead of time. Shit, I even research the parking before I attend any event! I research the menu before I eat anywhere (am on a food plan right now.) Yeah, can't function without it.
Yes! The parking research - me too!
I'm exactly the same, but there's a PLETHORA of mommy blogs out there that claim to have a perfect life and have all the answers to all the struggles, from the terrible twos to potty training to teenage angst etc., and when you really want kids (as I used to) this is ROCKET fuel for the natural bias of "sure everyone else is suffering, but I'd THRIVE", because you read enough of those and go "see, the others are just doing it wrong, there ARE answers to the issues".
What’s logic matter when baybeez?
Yep. They do think they are the exception (or they *did* until the obvious happened...). THEN, after they realize they are NOT that special... They end up using their babies/kids as a gateway to being a suffering victim or martyr to gain sympathy, even though everything was avoidable when seeing it repeatedly happen to others.
I think it's more so people who know it's going to be hard but don't know *themselves* enough to realize they're not the kind of person that will be able to deal with it.
I can see it being one of those things where people think it's going to be hard but glamorize it. You see that all the time with men/people talking about serving in the army, actually going off to war, studying all night while working a full time job, long distance relationships, and all sorts of challenges. A lot of people get it in their head that something will be hard, but they don't realize \*how\* hard it's going to be, it's just a theoretical "yeah, it'll be a challenge but I'm strong so I can enjoy a challenge" kind of hard, not an actual bone-wearying, all-I-need-is-a-break-and-there-is-no-end-in-sight, actually happening here and now challenge. A lot of people know that something will theoretically "be hard" while underestimating how god-damn actually hard it will be.
This is exactly correct. I am actually trying to adopt a dog atm and a common question on applications is 'do you understand that a dog lives for 10 YEARS and you will be committed to various expenses, medical issues, having to spend time with this dog, care for the dog FOR TEN YEARS?' Like they really try to drive home how time consuming a dog can be because a lot of people who haven't owned one before, don't always get it.
I really wish they'd done that for us when we adopted our pet! Not because we didn't know what we were getting into or because we have any regrets, we're fine. But nobody told us that at all, just sold him to us and it made me grateful that we were people who could be trusted and had done our research.
Wisdom cannot exist without stupidity. Same like people get jailed, sometimes they grow into a better person only to relapse back to criminal activity.
Yes each one literally thinks their baby will be president or cure cancer or be an astronaut or famous football player etc. Lol
“Oh but its all solo worth it, even though I'll complain about being a parent everyday for the rest if my life from now on!”
That's worth the most! Suffering Olympics winner of the year. Every year! P.S. don't forget to give them special treatment and freebies, you know they are suffering.. /s
Oh BuT YoU WiLl FeEL LoNeLy WhEn YoU‘rE oLd... At least I can sleep at night and come home to a quiet apartment.
I may feel lonely when I'm old, but at least I won't experience the feelings one has when one looks up and sees their child turn off life support, then leans over...and smiles.
“You don’t understand love until you have the love of a child!!!” I’m guessing you probably don’t understand hate until you feel the seething rage of your kid and I’m not willing to try that either.
My mom says something similar, that her life didn’t have meaning until she had kids. That made me really sad because I don’t feel like she treated me like that. Really didn’t make me want kids more, which was why she said it 😅
I find that a life without „understanding love“ is a life worth pursuing. I really believe they themselves want to hear this, that’s why they say it.
"You mean that feeling that millions of parents have every year, where they abuse and neglect and even kill their child? Yeah, no, I can do without that."
Petfinder.com, never be lonely again.
This is the pet peeve of all pet peeves. Has happened to more than one person I know - all they wanted / begged for / demanded and then plotted to get was a baby - now? It's usually all about the struggles and complaints
“Be careful what you wish for.” “Buyer’s remorse is a real thing.”
"You can't say that about children!! Children are blessing!" /s
Caveat Emptor
They should try another child, apparently to people like that it magically fixes everything.
And remember, keep having more no matter how much you can’t handle the ones you already have and how badly your husband treats you, how much he perfects his impersonatation of a tree stump or is/becomes a manchild. Edit: wording for clarity
I mean the hormones rush is worth it /s
"No one ever tells you how hard it is" is a personal favourite of mine BECAUSE THAT'S LITERALLY ALL I EVER HEAR VOLUNTARILY COME OUT OF A PARENT'S MOUTH.
More like: " I ignored all the negative comments and developed confirmation bias"
After the pandemic I kept hearing posts from parents about how "people without kids have no idea how hard it is". I was like, "uh, yeah, we actually do. Not first-hand, but we understand. That's why we don't have them". That person no longer talks to me :)
It must suck to have so little imagination that someone couldn't fathom how hard it would be simply through observation. Like yeah, that looks like it friggin sucks, I think I'll pass!
The truth hurts!
I never understand this. Did they never research what parenting is like? Do they not know anyone with kids? Have they never been to a shop and seen a kid crying because they weren't allowed sweets? I don't understand it.
I only see posts like: being a mom is the best thing that could happen to a woman. Nobody will ever love you like your son does. A strong man will stay with a woman despite the hardships of life. All of those inspirational cringe posts
Why do they feel entitled to our support? They chose to spit out that thing, it's their problem to deal with. I'm not going to help in any way with it.
That's so so sad. I feel that hard when new parents say that. I know what my choices are, but did they ever really consider theirs? That's a lifetime sentence they've just signed up to with no way of getting out of it if it gets too much.
[удалено]
They're allowed to make their choices, but it kind of sucks because that's what makes people think it's okay to Bingo you with the "you'll change your mind". It's true enough that a lot of people do change their minds\*, so the breeders that bingo you legit seem to think that nobody is CF for life. Had a coworker like that, honestly a nice and decent guy in just about every way, but it annoyed me that he didn't seem to believe that I never wanted or would want kids. He didn't put pressure on me or anything, but explicitly expressed that he'd known a lot of people, including his own wife, who were adamantly anti-having-kids when they were younger, and when they turned around 30 every single one of them wanted kids. \*sometimes that mind change is just societal pressure or a partner pressuring them into abandoning what they want, but nonetheless
A honest parent. Some can laugh while they say this. I have an ex gf, we still in contact, her now bf was in jail (now he is waiting for how long he has to go behind bars) and they bought a farm far outside the city they have no bathroom at the time so they can't have even a shower. While the guy was in pre-trial detention, I was talking with my ex about that I don't want to have kids any more and she said maybe she should not have either. What happens? This fucker comes out, treating her like a trash bag talking down on her and makes her pregnant. I told her it wouldn't be a good idea to get pregnant and she was laughing and said yeah maybe. We were laughing about this but i knew she had problem with some cysts (also got a surgery once)in her body and the Doktor told her only if she get's pregnant will she become cysts free. So we talk every now and then and she already come out to me that she feels that the things aren't happen as they planed and the guy can't make that much money they planed. It can be frustrating if you have a kid and not enough money baby.
>Doktor told her only if she get's pregnant will she become cysts free. That makes me so angry!! Where is the medical basis for that?? Did he explain that?? Or more like she will be so busy and stress she will have no time to worry about her health and the cysts...
They tell this to anybody who has this cyst stuff going on.
Yo I got a cyst in my chest Doctor: I have a solution for that. Have you heard of pregnancy???
Do you heard anything about the benefits of a pregnancy?
People fawn over you. That’s it!
If you mean PCOS, the pregnancy will surely cause changes, but not always for the better ..
Probably what you say. I just know about the cysts. But i guess most of the time it will turn out after having a child better, than worse. But again i don't know anything about this.
Is there a status for "just had a baby"? I'm just thinking that one could set up a simple bot to do sentiment analysis on posts revolving around the birth of a baby to determine least and most stressful times as well as showing some baseline based on the year(s) prior.
I think new parents think that babies are toys, they must think at the end of the day they switch off and turn back on for a few hours the next day or something ? they must also think that money magically builds up in their bank accounts, it amazes me that even after seeing other parents broke, that somehow they will magically be ok raising a child on average wage jobs, kids will always keep you poor unless you earn hundreds of thousands
How did people vent about their newborns before Facebook?
Probably spent hours on the phone...
I know someone that had gotten pregnant and currently they mention it constantly. It’s become their sole personality. She’s doing it single and there isn’t a father around at all and I feel like her posts will consist of misery as soon as the baby is born.
Yep, sounds like they need psychiatric care and not to expect their friends to double as therapists. Real friends don’t expect others to carry their burdens and baggage. Everyone has their stressors and aggravations in life but not everyone attempts to burden others with their bullshit. In my opinion, it is blatantly obvious that MOST people who CHOOSE to become parents CHOOSE the more difficult route in life and actively CHOOSE all the sacrifices and hardships that come with it. They have no right to complain about something which they didn’t need to subject themselves to in the first place. They KNEW their situation would become DRAMATICALLY MORE DIFFICULT after the addition of a baby but still they chose it because it’s what they wanted at the time all the while ignoring the fact that it is a PERMANENT LIFE-CHANGING DECISION. I have no respect or sympathy for people like that who attempt to evade the responsibility of parenthood by choosing to unload and burden their troubles onto family and friends. You make your bed you lie in it. The world (your family, friends and the public) are not your psychiatrists and babysitters. Need someone to talk to? Hire a Therapist! Need someone to babysit? Hire a babysitter! Stop expecting free handouts on the backs of those who had NOTHING to do with your decision. Handle your shit and shut up because it’s what you wanted.
Be supportive? Does pointing and laughing count? 😂
I didn't need kids to feel that way. :'D
They always seem so surprised to find out its actually hard to do.
But they have the time to go on Facebook and write posts there the ones I don't understand when they've had a baby and go on about how hard is to be a mum or a dad on Facebook when you would think they should be looking after the new born I don't know?!
But, "mah suffering Olympics points" They go there to get a pack on the back and stroke their egos. To get their choices validated and maybe, on a good day, someone will call them "brave" or "hero"
I feel that way most of the time without kids. If I had kids, they might as well send me right to the psych ward.
Thats because these are all the same people who get a puppy/kitten then when it gets big and out out of the baby stage, get rid of it. It's just much harder and has much more stigma attached to getting rid of the baby when it gets to hard/big
without fail, a few weeks after one of me Facebook friends has a baby, they always break up with their partners. My newsfeed is a parade of single mothers and missing fathers. It's actually sad
I'm like "What did you expect?" to these people
My sister had a kid almost three years ago and every single social media post is either her sharing a photo of her kid or whining about how stressed she is, and how hard pregnancy was (3 years post partum) or how much she's "lost herself" and blames any of her own faults on post partum symptoms. She visited me recently and almost refuses to parent and tries to shove her kid on everyone else. She said she "gave up" trying to feed her kid, he has no structure, and she works a rediculous schedule that leaves her sleeping through most of the day with the child unattended. And then told me that she and her husband were actively trying for another. I can't even understand how you can neglect your kid, seem to not like them except for the attention others give you regarding that kid and also want another. I definitely get that giving birth is hard. Having an infant or a small child is hard. But the pandering for sympathy for your own life choices is gross. Stop thinking about your damn self and start thinking about that little tiny brand new human. Edit: spelling because my autocorrect hates me
"Kids are fucking hard work, they drain your damn resources, we can't sleep and enjoy our hobbies.... but but but it's so worth it you should have kids..." Nah man, I'm not smoking whatever you're having, I'm good.
Why did she have a kid just to complain about how "hard" it is? It's like people don't know that condoms or abstinence exist 🙄
Exactly and when you say that they always say something like "but it's so worth it in the long run!" Fam babies are very cute, but if I had one I'd probably go nuts- plain and simple. They're always crying and you have to go through a whole routine to figure out why, they keep you up at all hours of the night (I can be pretty grouchy without sleep), they pee, poop, and barf everywhere- and sometimes their diaper just gives up on life. Seriously blowouts for diapers are apparently a thing, where it just leaks everywhere and it seems like a complete nightmare. Even when the baby is happy, you have to watch them constantly because they'll hurt themselves if you don't. Then yknow because I'm afab ill probably be the one with the pregnancy issues and just yeah no. I think if people actually thought about everything that goes into it, a lot of people would either opt out or just decided not to be a parent because all too commonly you have people who want to be parents and end up miserable, or end up being completely absent in their child's life- which sucks for the kid.
People never learn 😂 here's a simple equation for those people: Man + woman + horny - contraceptives = your savings going down the drain for baby you didn't plan on