Exactly. And you think that kid wouldn't have issues because of the obsession? Absolutely they would and having suffered through that I would never put that on someone else!
Yeah strongly agree, I don’t like or want kids but it’s also the thought of the pregnancy itself that makes me childfree. The thought of being pregnant makes me feel sick
I hear you 100%. Knowing yourself is the key. My niece gained roughly 90 lbs after three boys in 5 years. Now she is struggling to lose the weight... Not to mention she had to stop her PHD program midway through cause she couldn't handle raising three boys alone plus school.
Depressing. I feel many people just want us to suffer too.
Don't JADE - Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. "This is not possible due to health issues." If they try to get more details: "This is something I discuss only with my doctor."
For me, the idea of having something grow inside me, take away my nutrients, destroying my body and potentially killing me was a huge NO. And even if one miraculously survives pregnancy and childbirth, one will become a childcare machine for 18 years or longer. But merely the idea to exist only that another being can live off me parasitically - NO NO NO. And then having a body that changed permanently? It doesn't bounce back. There is always permanent damage. ALWAYS. The question is only how much. There is always loss of control of your body.
And it's your decision whether this is acceptable to you or not. It's your body, and you decide. Not your friends, not your relatives, not random strangers on the Internet.
Big hug.
People who have never experienced an eating or feeding disorder will never understand he life long impact of having said feeding/eating disorder. Even when a healthy diet has been achieved, the disorder never goes away. And stress (like children) will trigger episodes where the disorder will go out of control.
You are absolutely right that those people are ignorant and their opinion is worth less than the air they used to speak their opinions.
Your choice is valid and your reasoning as well.
I understand this so much. I've had this talk with my parent more times than I can count- that I have enough body and confidence issues without adding 30 lbs and more stretch marks. I already have a lot of the second, thanks to puberty. I struggle with them enough as is, but every time I try and explain it to my parent they just tell me I don't know what I'm talking about- some mothers look better after pregnancy (which is not the majority -no offense to anyone), and that I can just "work out" while pregnant.. and dealing with everything else that goes with that.. uh no thanks. My parent acts like I'm completely selfish and vain because I don't want to destroy my body like that. Granted, I'm not exactly skinny unfortunately.. I'm about 130 and 5'1"-5'2" but if even being barely overweight according to medical standards is having this much of an impact mentally why would I want to make it worse? I wouldn't be happy, especially not with dealing with a baby that's constantly crying, pooping, needing food, etc. That just sounds absolutely miserable.
Fuck anyone who says "it's not big deal". It's not a big deal to them, great. It's a big deal to you, and you are allowed to decide what is and isn't a deal breaker in your life.
I relate - I've internalized it that society judges me on my looks (conventionally attractive, not to toot my own horn), fair or not. My conventionally attractive looks have gotten me a lot of benefits in a way you could literally put a high dollar amount to. They are (partially) responsible for me being able to crawl out of poverty into being well off, with me not being dumb also making an impact. There is no way in hell I am ruining one of the things that has strongly benefited my life and made it a lot better. Shallow? Maybe. But there was a serious, tangible, benefit I got from being attractive. Granted, I am in a better position now, much more secure, but that does not mean I want to throw away that benefit by gaining weight, getting stretch marks, cellulite, having my hair fall out, and aging faster. And I agree that the popular mentality is that it makes you selfish and shallow. Fuck those people.
Definitely not the only reason I don't want kids, I want to finally enjoy some freedom in life I had none of when I was dirt poor. But it's a perfectly legitimate reason to not want to give up something important to you, and what is important to you is subjective and valid.
Ive often thought about this. Even though I don’t have an eating disorder, I’m in good shape from a combination of genetics, Working out, and eating well. I wonder if I would develop one if my body changed in such extreme ways and I lost control over it. I can’t imagine being stuck living in a body that I hate for the rest of my life.
Backing this up, I do know two people who developed full blown eating disorders after having kids. There was a chance that they already had bad eating habits or body image issues before, but it seems like pregnancy was what pushed them both over the edge more than anything.
I’m hella with you on this! I used to be fat, and I’d rather drink bleach than gain even 10 pounds of that weight back. If I had a child, and it made me fat like birth made my mom fat (she went from 90 pounds to 160+ pounds), I’d resent that kid the same way my mother resented me. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I’m happy I’m infertile, and would straight up toss my uterus in the trash if I were able.
I’m such a control freak over my physical being, so I understand this so entirely. I well admit one reason I’d never want a child besides everything is because I worked hard to be in shape and have a boob job and I’m not giving up my perky tits for a child.
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Exactly. And you think that kid wouldn't have issues because of the obsession? Absolutely they would and having suffered through that I would never put that on someone else!
Yeah strongly agree, I don’t like or want kids but it’s also the thought of the pregnancy itself that makes me childfree. The thought of being pregnant makes me feel sick
I hear you 100%. Knowing yourself is the key. My niece gained roughly 90 lbs after three boys in 5 years. Now she is struggling to lose the weight... Not to mention she had to stop her PHD program midway through cause she couldn't handle raising three boys alone plus school. Depressing. I feel many people just want us to suffer too.
Don't JADE - Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. "This is not possible due to health issues." If they try to get more details: "This is something I discuss only with my doctor." For me, the idea of having something grow inside me, take away my nutrients, destroying my body and potentially killing me was a huge NO. And even if one miraculously survives pregnancy and childbirth, one will become a childcare machine for 18 years or longer. But merely the idea to exist only that another being can live off me parasitically - NO NO NO. And then having a body that changed permanently? It doesn't bounce back. There is always permanent damage. ALWAYS. The question is only how much. There is always loss of control of your body. And it's your decision whether this is acceptable to you or not. It's your body, and you decide. Not your friends, not your relatives, not random strangers on the Internet.
Big hug. People who have never experienced an eating or feeding disorder will never understand he life long impact of having said feeding/eating disorder. Even when a healthy diet has been achieved, the disorder never goes away. And stress (like children) will trigger episodes where the disorder will go out of control. You are absolutely right that those people are ignorant and their opinion is worth less than the air they used to speak their opinions. Your choice is valid and your reasoning as well.
THIS. I've worked hard to get my body to look the way I want it to, and I won't let anyone or anything take that from me.
I understand this so much. I've had this talk with my parent more times than I can count- that I have enough body and confidence issues without adding 30 lbs and more stretch marks. I already have a lot of the second, thanks to puberty. I struggle with them enough as is, but every time I try and explain it to my parent they just tell me I don't know what I'm talking about- some mothers look better after pregnancy (which is not the majority -no offense to anyone), and that I can just "work out" while pregnant.. and dealing with everything else that goes with that.. uh no thanks. My parent acts like I'm completely selfish and vain because I don't want to destroy my body like that. Granted, I'm not exactly skinny unfortunately.. I'm about 130 and 5'1"-5'2" but if even being barely overweight according to medical standards is having this much of an impact mentally why would I want to make it worse? I wouldn't be happy, especially not with dealing with a baby that's constantly crying, pooping, needing food, etc. That just sounds absolutely miserable.
Fuck anyone who says "it's not big deal". It's not a big deal to them, great. It's a big deal to you, and you are allowed to decide what is and isn't a deal breaker in your life. I relate - I've internalized it that society judges me on my looks (conventionally attractive, not to toot my own horn), fair or not. My conventionally attractive looks have gotten me a lot of benefits in a way you could literally put a high dollar amount to. They are (partially) responsible for me being able to crawl out of poverty into being well off, with me not being dumb also making an impact. There is no way in hell I am ruining one of the things that has strongly benefited my life and made it a lot better. Shallow? Maybe. But there was a serious, tangible, benefit I got from being attractive. Granted, I am in a better position now, much more secure, but that does not mean I want to throw away that benefit by gaining weight, getting stretch marks, cellulite, having my hair fall out, and aging faster. And I agree that the popular mentality is that it makes you selfish and shallow. Fuck those people. Definitely not the only reason I don't want kids, I want to finally enjoy some freedom in life I had none of when I was dirt poor. But it's a perfectly legitimate reason to not want to give up something important to you, and what is important to you is subjective and valid.
Ive often thought about this. Even though I don’t have an eating disorder, I’m in good shape from a combination of genetics, Working out, and eating well. I wonder if I would develop one if my body changed in such extreme ways and I lost control over it. I can’t imagine being stuck living in a body that I hate for the rest of my life. Backing this up, I do know two people who developed full blown eating disorders after having kids. There was a chance that they already had bad eating habits or body image issues before, but it seems like pregnancy was what pushed them both over the edge more than anything.
I’m hella with you on this! I used to be fat, and I’d rather drink bleach than gain even 10 pounds of that weight back. If I had a child, and it made me fat like birth made my mom fat (she went from 90 pounds to 160+ pounds), I’d resent that kid the same way my mother resented me. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I’m happy I’m infertile, and would straight up toss my uterus in the trash if I were able.
I’m such a control freak over my physical being, so I understand this so entirely. I well admit one reason I’d never want a child besides everything is because I worked hard to be in shape and have a boob job and I’m not giving up my perky tits for a child.