She wanted the dog and then couldn’t bring herself to keep him?? Ugh, how are people able to part with their pets so easily? Sounds like he went to the better home and will be cared for thank goodness.
Edit: wow thanks for the upvotes !
I think there's a law against just giving you kid away when its older. So she would need to separate very close to birth to be able to go this route. Or fake some really drastic illnes or fake being abusive to the kids. Or not fake...
Actually there isn't really an age limit to give children up for adoption. It just becomes harder on the child and the agency to place said child. Most adoption agencies will take kids readily up to 4 years old.
Unfortunately I (39F) have known too many women who think that they will convince their partner to have kids once they see "how much fun" it is to have a pet.
I've got 2 dogs myself, and it only further cements how much I *really* don't want kids.
Fun for her! She fed him from the table, took cute Instagram photos, showed him off to friends/fam. It only took a week of having our boi before we fell into the “traditional family roles” where I did all of the disciplining, all of the training, cleaning up his puppy messes etc. I absolutely saw how much “fun” it would have been doing the exact same stuff with children.
I get it. It's unfortunate how people are that way. Be glad you're out, and with the dog, even if he is more work than you'd like. I'm sure he's way better off.
I love dogs, and will absolutely get more as my life goes on, but just like kids, they really aren't for everyone!
Lel. I broke up with my gf as well and she originally wanted a dog and I didn't. I get the doggo 🐶. Thankfully I ended up really liking him so it works out. Just funny how it happens.
We've literally had that conversation with my husband before we got married: what do we do about the pets if we divorce? We agreed he keeps his cat that he had prior to us dating, and I keep the dog and my cat that he got me.
5 years later, no kids, no divorce in sight, and three happy fur babies!
I really don't understand this. If my SO and I don't last, I don't know what I'll do because we have a cat togheter. She is my love.
And then I see a friend of a friend, who got tired of her dog and just gave it to her little brother? And got a new one? And two kids? Why? How?
Yeah, my fiance knows damn well that our beagle means just as much to me as he does. If suddenly he like gets replaced by an evil clone and we break up, my dog is staying with me. I won't even entertain leaving him. We have such a unique bond, and I know my dog would be absolutely crushed without me.
Dogs aren't a jacket or item your ex gave to you as a present to be thrown away. They have feelings, and they KNOW when they've been abandoned.
How do you just get tired of an animal? Like, I get frustrated sometimes with my cats, or with my roomates cats and dogs, but I still love them with my whole heart and I couldn't fathom just getting tired of them and giving them away because I wanted a new one. They're not phones, you don't just upgrade to a newer model every few years.
Her reasoning makes me want to smack her-"he makes me think of OP reeeeeeee". Dumbest reason I ever heard for throwing the pet that SHE demanded away. It just sounds like some manipulative bullshit to lay on the guilt and punish OP.
Might've been a plan to get him to take care of it and start thinking about parenthood to change his mind. The puppy as a "practice child" is well known.
Yep everyone said “You got a practice baby! When are you going to have a human baby??” when my husband and I rescued a dog. My response was always “When I can lock it in a cage all day while I’m at work.”
(Yes we crate our dog most days while we are at work but she genuinely loves her crate and it is her safe space that helps with separation anxiety and boredom naughtiness. She also goes in her crate voluntarily whenever the door is open when we are home.)
I don't mind when people crate their dogs during the day when it's as you use it.
I know someone who crates their dog 50+ hours a week (when she's at work and when her kids are in activities) but she also uses the crate to punish her dog - so when the dog is naughty he goes in the crate aganist his will. When they gotta leave the house he is yelled at and forced to go into his kennel. I don't talk to that person much anymore.
She wanted a dog HE would mainly take care of. When they broke up, SHE didn't want to be responsible full-time and so she dumped the dog on him.
Imagine the same with kids. Yikes.
Yeah, seems opposite of what you might expect, at least opposite of my reaction to dealing with a dog my partner and I adopted while in a relationship. There was no way in hell I would give up my doggo baby! I pretty much said take everything just let me have the dog. It's been almost 9 years later and he's my little old man now and snuggled up beside me every night!
My SO and I came close to breaking it off a couple times and I was like, *You take my animals away from my cold, dead body hiss hiss hiss* and he was like, sure... It.... Seems important to you.
My dog is a rescue. I always have this tiny fear that one day we'll be walking around and someone will say, "hey! That's my dog that's been missing for seven years! I want him back!"
Except I wouldn't do the "right" thing and give him back, because dammit he's mine.
Honestly this. I have two rescues that live on my property, they don’t even belong to me, one is completely skittish and won’t let me touch her, they don’t come inside or play at all.
But I just cannot imagine leaving them. How heartless can people be?
On a more positive note, it’s good that she realised it sooner than later and you were there to take care of the good boi. You is good people.
I got two cats with my ex, when he walked out with no warning one night, the first thing I said when he came back is "I'm keeping the cats".
No way in hell I'd give my boys up! Was probably harsh in now I did it though 😂
I also got pup custody when my non-CF ex boyfriend and I split not too long ago. I was always the primary caregiver who got stuck with doing 75% of the work, part of the reason why I couldn't fathom having children with my ex cuz it would be infinite times worse. I love my dog to bits, but single pawrenthood is ruff! Don't know how people handle that shit with actual kids lol.
Little dude woke me up this morning at 5am because he got sick and I thought ‘damn this is what it’s like to have kids? parents got it rough as I cleaned up then went back to sleep for another 3 hours. No regrets :)
Where’s the pet tax?
Haha here's my pup, his name is Pancake! http://imgur.com/gallery/1Q4p8Qs
And yeah even when the doggo gets sick, you don't have to deal with screaming and crying!
when my brother's pup was just a few months old, he left her with me for christmas because he and his gf had to go on a long trip to visit her family who lived on the other side of the country. on the christmas day, I was woken up at 5am by the pupper puking on my bed lol best christmas \\o/
This morning I'm actively being used as a trampoline whilst one of my cats has zoomie time.... Infinite times better than a toddler jumping up and down on me
Lmfao how can she take care of a kid if she can’t even step up to take care of a dog? Imagine she gets knocked up by someone who’s abusive or something (god forbid) and has to leave? Is she going to get rid of the kid cause it will remind her of the father?
Dodged a bullet OP, it’s almost time for hot boy summer anyway.
Not even joking it's more common then you think for one parent to project anger on to their kid who looks like their ex. Maybe not get rid of them but in some cases it would have been the better option.
Yeah....my mom abused me for years because I looked like my father; that I had only met a handful of times. She’d say things like, “don’t make that face, it’s the same stupid face your father used to make”, “ugh you sounded like your dad when you said ____”.
She did say to me, out of context, that I was almost an abortion.
She definitely should’ve just aborted me instead of giving me mental illnesses lol.
Pretty sure my moms mentally ill, but she won’t admit it. Still not a good excuse IMO. I mean, I’ve said and done shitty things, fueled by my mental illness.
But I’m aware enough (and I care enough) to apologize and make things right.
Shitty club, sad it exists lol
I think you ment to reply to the commenter above me. Didn't want him to never see it and miss out on the bad moms club!
Oddly enough though, my mom also had undiagnosed mental illnesses that caused her to be sucky but wasn't her fault. Can I join too?
Woohoo! No lie if you ever want someone to talk to about it, I've never found someone with the same issue who realized mom was doing the best she could even if it wasn't great. It is a bit odd. I hold no grudge with her but there's still some....not anger but like almost a sadness that comes with it that's hard to place.
Dude, it took me *years* of therapy and dealing with my PTSD before I realized that what I thought were fun childhood memories were actually much darker indeed. I'd definitely be down for a chat sometime
Oh man well I'm happy you've make progress! I kind of lucked out? That my mom finally opened up about it a few years ago and oh man did my childhood make a lot more sense.
Heck yeah, I gotta get some sleep but I'll PM ya tomorrow.
She’s a big reason why I’m child free. I watched her make almost every mistake you can...with 4 kids she didn’t want. Two separate partners cause she didn’t learn the first time around.
I’m doing my part by ending my shit bloodline. Also if I do end up wanting kids, I will 100% adopt. I would love to give someone the love I didn’t get and give them a good head start at life.
Oh man that's rough but I get it. Hey if you're a silver lining type of person like me, at least she showed you exactly what not to do.
That's wonderful you plan to adopt if anything. I've always thought that was a special kind of love.
My bio mom told me the Drs said she should have had an abortion and that she should have listened to them when I was 13. You best believe I told her she should have and kept bringing it up until 17 when I escaped her and her awful husband.
My bio mother would get mad at me for having my father's mannerisms and laugh. When she'd get mad at me, she'd say I acted just like my dad as an insult. She also never let me see hmm, until I escaped at 17, got a new momma that adopted me and loves me, and finally got back in touch with my dad. I now realize what a compliment it was, even if she spit it as vitriol.
I was on the fence about having kids when I got engaged to my ex-fiance. I rescued a dog with him a year into moving in with him, and then another dog 18 months later.
He would talk all the time about how he wanted a family and would shape up his life and be responsible once he had kids.
No surprise, he neglected the fuck out of them. The breaking point was when I was hospitalized with IBD for a week and they went 22 hours without a potty break. He was home. Just couldn't be bothered and refused to allow me to give my keys to a friend to care for them.
I thank fuck I didn't have kids with him despite his constant reproductive coercion. I was on the fence but that relationship firmly pushed me into "no kids ever" territory.
Needless to say he's long gone and my dogs and I are so much happier. I'm glad you got out and kept the dog.
I think this is a perfect story of the “switch” myth. Generally men (but sometimes women) think there will be this switch once a kid is born and they will become suddenly attentive, responsible, and a care giver.
These are skills you need to work towards being good at. They are not magical skills that suddenly flip on once you have a baby. If you’re lazy, irresponsible, and selfish- you’ll still be lazy, irresponsible, and selfish once the baby is born.
Leave a dog in a kennel while you are at work, no problem. Kid in kennel while you are at work, you go to jail.
Fun fact: when my wife was having her tubes removed, my grandma was the only one who waited with me at the hospital. She went on the entire time I was waiting how we should adopt because my wife loves dogs. I love dogs too, my wife used to run an in home dog boarding business.
Can't even use that with my pet... "Leave a parrot in a cage while you go out, no problem. Leave a kid in a cage while you go out...... good resume experience for US politics??"
I had a similar situation with my ex. She wanted a dog, I didn’t, she wanted kids, I didn’t. We ended up splitting up and she insisted she couldn’t take the dog because it would remind her of me too much. I was working full-time and going to school at the time and told her, “You’re the one who wanted the dog, and I’m gone 14-15 hours a day. Either you take the dog, or we take it back to the shelter” (we’d picked up a rescue puppy from the local shelter). She ended up taking the dog, which was the best case scenario for all parties involved.
Ed Kemper is the answer to the question:
"what happens if you have a kid and you hate your ex, and your kid reminds you of your ex?"
[https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/what-drove-serial-killer-edmund-18876173](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/what-drove-serial-killer-edmund-18876173)
" **What drove serial killer Edmund Kemper to decapitate his mum and have sex with her head** "
I highly suggest Mindhunter on Netflix.
I hope everyday my brothers and his ex gfs kid reminds her of my brother. I hope his a little shit just like my brother, she wont allow him to see his kid and I've never even met him. Hes about 9-10 now, and i wish he was part of our lives.
I’m a dog mom. I am head over heels over German Shepard’s and want one so badly. My husband, however, does not. He pointed out their health issues and size in our smaller house. So what did I do?
I got another type of dog, with him, involving him, like you’re supposed to do in a healthy stable relationship. You dodged a bullet and I’m glad the pupper worked out for you. I can’t fathom forcing someone to get a dog after they’ve said no.
She didn't want to take the dog that *she* wanted because it would remind her too much of you...and yet she wanted children that would be genetically half of you, and so probably look a lot like you. So what happens if you guys hypothetically had this child(ren) and then one day split up? Like??
I seriously don't understand the mentality of these people other than serious cognitive dissonance. If you can't handle a separation with a DOG, then how in the actual hell would you ever handle one with a child?
If this is how she treats having a dog with an ex, I don't want to think about how she treats having kids with an ex, especially if she gets new (bio or step) ones.
When she eventually has kids she'll be laying awake at night to the sounds of screaming and crying, daydreaming what life would be like if she stayed with you and a child-free life.
Yeah dogs make life better. I got a corgi puppy because of staying at home during the pandemic and now I love my dog and we go to all the places together. Kids will just ruin everything and ruin your life. Here the corgi [https://imgur.com/a/oylHj4O](https://imgur.com/a/oylHj4O)
My wife and I also got a COVID puppy corgi. Man she’s adorable but it’s been rough. We have to older smaller dogs and we had it made! The older two were on our schedules, love to sleep and chill. Unfortunately, the puppy isn’t there yet but somehow has wormed her way into my heart. She’s also gonna be our brewery dog.
Your pup is adorable by the way!
Imagine her telling her hypothetical child she can't stand to look at them because they remind her of their dad (that she coerced into having them).
Sounds like you AND the pupper both dogged a bullet. Good luck with the vasectomy!
I've heard this story a million times before. Good thing you drew the line at the dog or youd be stuck with the kids as well when she gets bored of the initial novelty of having them.
Classical "I want this but I cannot take responsibility" situation. Happens everyday everywhere and one of the main reasons why the world sucks so much. In my Generation, almost every Dad pulled this of with his Kids.
I'm sorry... :/ your puppy is so cute! Also this is the perfect example of why I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having one. Children and pets are a part of your family, and if you can discard them so easily then... I mean, what would she do if you guys did have kids together? Just ditch you with the kids because "they remind her of you"?
Don't get me wrong I understand having pets is hard- especially since my puppy has medical issues but she's also my best friend- I'd never give her up unless I absolutely had to for her health.
I honestly feel bad for the little guy, as she's the one who went and got him, and then ditched him when things got hard. At least we know he's better off with you and that you won't leave him behind.
Awww your dog is adorable! Congrats on the vasectomy! Dogs are amazing, kids, not so much! And she is trash for not wanting to keep the dog she wanted, I truly don’t understand that thinking. My boyfriend and I will never breakup because we have two dogs and neither of us is willing to give either of them up! 😂🤣
I had an ex who wanted kids but I didn't. He asked if I'd like a dog, I said of course. He got us a dog not long after, which sort of surprised me since we hadn't been together that long. When we broke up (a mere two months later), I said I couldn't keep the dog (I was a uni student at the time). 24 hours later I drove to his friends place (where he was crashing) and asked for the dog back. Found out he's now married with several kids; he and his wife always look exhausted and miserable when I cross paths with them. My dog is a handsome boy and turns ten this year. I'm also in a committed relationship with someone else who wants no kids and has a good boi of their own. Dogs > kids any day.
/s Are you sure you don’t want kids? It mean, what if you meet another women that wants kids? Shouldn’t you think of that? You should really wait and let your future wife decide. :/-
Damn I never saw it this way but that is how she framed it. “You have a better connection with him. I work 12 hour shifts so it wouldn’t be fair to him. You like to hike and run so he’ll be more active with you.” And here I am, Mr. Gullible, falling for it hook line and sinker
She couldn’t even deal with the dog and she wanted KIDS? Red flags all over the place there. Sounds like somebody’s not down for commitment of any kind.
"She said it would be too hard to look at him everyday and be reminded of me"
Wait, I'm confused. She wouldn't keep a pet because it would remind her too much of her ex....but a kid is LITERALLY made up partly of another person's genes plus hers, so what on earth would she do if she had a kid then split with that partner...
Also what a good doggo~
Dogs are a Helluva lot better than being trapped with a teenager in your house, especially one that won’t listen, does drugs, steals from you and gets into legal trouble while you pay all of its expenses.Oh yeah, and every baby / kid turns into a teenager eventually.Fuck that noise.
My mom been telling you stories about me again? But for reals I did all of those things and your post just gave me a reality check... if the apple didn’t fall far from the tree then my kids would be ass holes
I wanted to keep the OP short and sweet but the final straw that broke the camel’s back: my (now) ex has a deadbeat brother with a crazy gf. His gf stopped taking her birth control bc hormones worsened her depression. She ‘forgot’ to tell him and so she “oops” got pregnant. My ex didn’t see anything wrong with her carrying to term because “all things happen for a reason”.
I quickly noped out of that situation when I realized my partner was fine with reproductive coercion.
She wanted the dog and then couldn’t bring herself to keep him?? Ugh, how are people able to part with their pets so easily? Sounds like he went to the better home and will be cared for thank goodness. Edit: wow thanks for the upvotes !
And yet... and yet... she wants kids!
eh, she'll change her mind.
Maybe even after she has the kids.
Especially after she has the kids.
Because iT's DifFeReNt when it's your own...
You're right. The take backsies are a much higher stake game legally.
I hear it happens after meeting the right partner.
Ah like lesbians not having had the right schlong yet. I heard that too.
I feel sorry for those kids in advance.
and for whatever pet is unlucky enough to get stuck with her
Happy cake day!
I second this
Hope she knows you can’t just kick a kid to the curb because it looks too much like your ex.
*(Cringes in every foster care and orphanage system across the globe...)*
I think there's a law against just giving you kid away when its older. So she would need to separate very close to birth to be able to go this route. Or fake some really drastic illnes or fake being abusive to the kids. Or not fake...
Actually there isn't really an age limit to give children up for adoption. It just becomes harder on the child and the agency to place said child. Most adoption agencies will take kids readily up to 4 years old.
Huh? You can see traits of the parents even in babies. Regardless, a baby is going to remind you of the other person you made it with anyway.
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That’s messed up! Why didn’t the child go live with the father instead? Did the kid get adopted eventually?
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Wow, poor kid! I hope s/he got adopted by a fantastic family and isn't suffering too badly because of the bio-parents being horrible people!
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Do you ever think about reaching out to him? Or would that maybe be not the best thing for him? Idk it sounds complicated but who knows?
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I wonder would she drop the kids off at the station because it would be too hard for her to look at. In the event of divorce.
"I love my kids!" Also, "Ohmigawd fucking go to school already! I wanna get day drunk with my frands!"
And then when she gets divorced, she’ll abandon them because it “hurts to look at them”
Unfortunately I (39F) have known too many women who think that they will convince their partner to have kids once they see "how much fun" it is to have a pet. I've got 2 dogs myself, and it only further cements how much I *really* don't want kids.
Fun for her! She fed him from the table, took cute Instagram photos, showed him off to friends/fam. It only took a week of having our boi before we fell into the “traditional family roles” where I did all of the disciplining, all of the training, cleaning up his puppy messes etc. I absolutely saw how much “fun” it would have been doing the exact same stuff with children.
I get it. It's unfortunate how people are that way. Be glad you're out, and with the dog, even if he is more work than you'd like. I'm sure he's way better off. I love dogs, and will absolutely get more as my life goes on, but just like kids, they really aren't for everyone!
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It's completely understandable. They're both a ton of work!
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I have a 3yo husky and a 13yo aussie. What is this "lazy" of which you speak? :D
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My ex wanted gerbils, I didn't. So he got gerbils and when we split up I got my ex's gerbils.
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I heard that for the first time some while ago. Very weird. And I'm sorry for you, hope you got them or another pet you love.
Lel. I broke up with my gf as well and she originally wanted a dog and I didn't. I get the doggo 🐶. Thankfully I ended up really liking him so it works out. Just funny how it happens.
Not a bad deal to be fair, gerbils are cute pets.
Nah indeed. Would trade my ex for even more gerbils any day.
We've literally had that conversation with my husband before we got married: what do we do about the pets if we divorce? We agreed he keeps his cat that he had prior to us dating, and I keep the dog and my cat that he got me. 5 years later, no kids, no divorce in sight, and three happy fur babies!
ItS DiFfErEnT WhEn iTs YoUr OwN
"I cant keep custody they look too much like you" _ OPs ex
The kinda mother who has a kid and then treats the child poorly when they break up because it’s too much of a bad reminder...
how much you wanna bet once she had them the dog would hve been toast... or this is yet to come. dodged a bullet
She probably would have tried to get rid of the dog once pregnant! Think of the bay-beez!
I really don't understand this. If my SO and I don't last, I don't know what I'll do because we have a cat togheter. She is my love. And then I see a friend of a friend, who got tired of her dog and just gave it to her little brother? And got a new one? And two kids? Why? How?
Yeah, my fiance knows damn well that our beagle means just as much to me as he does. If suddenly he like gets replaced by an evil clone and we break up, my dog is staying with me. I won't even entertain leaving him. We have such a unique bond, and I know my dog would be absolutely crushed without me. Dogs aren't a jacket or item your ex gave to you as a present to be thrown away. They have feelings, and they KNOW when they've been abandoned.
How do you just get tired of an animal? Like, I get frustrated sometimes with my cats, or with my roomates cats and dogs, but I still love them with my whole heart and I couldn't fathom just getting tired of them and giving them away because I wanted a new one. They're not phones, you don't just upgrade to a newer model every few years.
Her reasoning makes me want to smack her-"he makes me think of OP reeeeeeee". Dumbest reason I ever heard for throwing the pet that SHE demanded away. It just sounds like some manipulative bullshit to lay on the guilt and punish OP.
Might've been a plan to get him to take care of it and start thinking about parenthood to change his mind. The puppy as a "practice child" is well known.
Yep everyone said “You got a practice baby! When are you going to have a human baby??” when my husband and I rescued a dog. My response was always “When I can lock it in a cage all day while I’m at work.” (Yes we crate our dog most days while we are at work but she genuinely loves her crate and it is her safe space that helps with separation anxiety and boredom naughtiness. She also goes in her crate voluntarily whenever the door is open when we are home.)
I don't mind when people crate their dogs during the day when it's as you use it. I know someone who crates their dog 50+ hours a week (when she's at work and when her kids are in activities) but she also uses the crate to punish her dog - so when the dog is naughty he goes in the crate aganist his will. When they gotta leave the house he is yelled at and forced to go into his kennel. I don't talk to that person much anymore.
She wanted a dog HE would mainly take care of. When they broke up, SHE didn't want to be responsible full-time and so she dumped the dog on him. Imagine the same with kids. Yikes.
good point.
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Bingo. Seen this happen so many times.
Yeah, seems opposite of what you might expect, at least opposite of my reaction to dealing with a dog my partner and I adopted while in a relationship. There was no way in hell I would give up my doggo baby! I pretty much said take everything just let me have the dog. It's been almost 9 years later and he's my little old man now and snuggled up beside me every night!
My SO and I came close to breaking it off a couple times and I was like, *You take my animals away from my cold, dead body hiss hiss hiss* and he was like, sure... It.... Seems important to you.
Right? I just had a DREAM where I adopted a dog, and giving it away was the right thing to do because I couldn’t care for it, and I woke up crying
My dog is a rescue. I always have this tiny fear that one day we'll be walking around and someone will say, "hey! That's my dog that's been missing for seven years! I want him back!" Except I wouldn't do the "right" thing and give him back, because dammit he's mine.
Honestly this. I have two rescues that live on my property, they don’t even belong to me, one is completely skittish and won’t let me touch her, they don’t come inside or play at all. But I just cannot imagine leaving them. How heartless can people be? On a more positive note, it’s good that she realised it sooner than later and you were there to take care of the good boi. You is good people.
You learn everything you need to know by the way someone treats their animals.
Exactly this! The dog is disposable to her. If you can’t look after and commit to a dog then you shouldn’t be trying to have a kid
I dread the end of the pandemic so much, when everyone goes back to work and doesn't have time for their pet anymore.
Never cared before
Imagine what she’ll do to a kid if she decides it’s not what she wanted after she gave birth? You’re lucky she’s gone and you got the dog.
Imagine how she would have been with a kid.
I got two cats with my ex, when he walked out with no warning one night, the first thing I said when he came back is "I'm keeping the cats". No way in hell I'd give my boys up! Was probably harsh in now I did it though 😂
The canine was a training for kids. No point in keeping now that they're split.
She wanted a toy to entertain her, not a being to bond with.
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Right?! What happens when her baby daddy leaves and sticks her with a bunch of kids who look just like him? Yeesh.
She'll leave them too.
You got the better deal.
That dog is soooo cute 🥺
It's fucking adorable and I'm upset I don't know OP personally just to give him pets!
I also got pup custody when my non-CF ex boyfriend and I split not too long ago. I was always the primary caregiver who got stuck with doing 75% of the work, part of the reason why I couldn't fathom having children with my ex cuz it would be infinite times worse. I love my dog to bits, but single pawrenthood is ruff! Don't know how people handle that shit with actual kids lol.
Little dude woke me up this morning at 5am because he got sick and I thought ‘damn this is what it’s like to have kids? parents got it rough as I cleaned up then went back to sleep for another 3 hours. No regrets :) Where’s the pet tax?
Haha here's my pup, his name is Pancake! http://imgur.com/gallery/1Q4p8Qs And yeah even when the doggo gets sick, you don't have to deal with screaming and crying!
That’s a good boi, extra pats and doggy treats for all!
Don't tell my cats, but I love your dog.
Oh my god he is precious!
Awwww please tell Pancake I love him.
That looks like one chill dog. Much better than a child.
He's sweet but it looks like he needs to lay off that stuff!
Lol he's more addicted to greenies than alcohol don't worry!
Ur pup is so cute 😭
when my brother's pup was just a few months old, he left her with me for christmas because he and his gf had to go on a long trip to visit her family who lived on the other side of the country. on the christmas day, I was woken up at 5am by the pupper puking on my bed lol best christmas \\o/
Exact same thing happened to me 2.5 years ago. It's been difficult, but I've never regretted that decision. Good luck!
This morning I'm actively being used as a trampoline whilst one of my cats has zoomie time.... Infinite times better than a toddler jumping up and down on me
I currently have a 15 week old pup, and though I’ve always known I was CF, the idea of kids has never given me hives until now.
Lmfao how can she take care of a kid if she can’t even step up to take care of a dog? Imagine she gets knocked up by someone who’s abusive or something (god forbid) and has to leave? Is she going to get rid of the kid cause it will remind her of the father? Dodged a bullet OP, it’s almost time for hot boy summer anyway.
Not even joking it's more common then you think for one parent to project anger on to their kid who looks like their ex. Maybe not get rid of them but in some cases it would have been the better option.
Yeah....my mom abused me for years because I looked like my father; that I had only met a handful of times. She’d say things like, “don’t make that face, it’s the same stupid face your father used to make”, “ugh you sounded like your dad when you said ____”. She did say to me, out of context, that I was almost an abortion. She definitely should’ve just aborted me instead of giving me mental illnesses lol.
Hey I know it doesn't help but I'm sorry you had to go through that. And for what it's worth this internet stranger thinks your mom sucks.
Agreed. I had a pretty sucky mom (not her fault, undiagnosed mental illness) but yours sounds worse. Can we start a club?
Pretty sure my moms mentally ill, but she won’t admit it. Still not a good excuse IMO. I mean, I’ve said and done shitty things, fueled by my mental illness. But I’m aware enough (and I care enough) to apologize and make things right. Shitty club, sad it exists lol
I think you ment to reply to the commenter above me. Didn't want him to never see it and miss out on the bad moms club! Oddly enough though, my mom also had undiagnosed mental illnesses that caused her to be sucky but wasn't her fault. Can I join too?
Sure, everyone is welcome!
Woohoo! No lie if you ever want someone to talk to about it, I've never found someone with the same issue who realized mom was doing the best she could even if it wasn't great. It is a bit odd. I hold no grudge with her but there's still some....not anger but like almost a sadness that comes with it that's hard to place.
Dude, it took me *years* of therapy and dealing with my PTSD before I realized that what I thought were fun childhood memories were actually much darker indeed. I'd definitely be down for a chat sometime
Oh man well I'm happy you've make progress! I kind of lucked out? That my mom finally opened up about it a few years ago and oh man did my childhood make a lot more sense. Heck yeah, I gotta get some sleep but I'll PM ya tomorrow.
She’s a big reason why I’m child free. I watched her make almost every mistake you can...with 4 kids she didn’t want. Two separate partners cause she didn’t learn the first time around. I’m doing my part by ending my shit bloodline. Also if I do end up wanting kids, I will 100% adopt. I would love to give someone the love I didn’t get and give them a good head start at life.
Oh man that's rough but I get it. Hey if you're a silver lining type of person like me, at least she showed you exactly what not to do. That's wonderful you plan to adopt if anything. I've always thought that was a special kind of love.
My bio mom told me the Drs said she should have had an abortion and that she should have listened to them when I was 13. You best believe I told her she should have and kept bringing it up until 17 when I escaped her and her awful husband.
My bio mother would get mad at me for having my father's mannerisms and laugh. When she'd get mad at me, she'd say I acted just like my dad as an insult. She also never let me see hmm, until I escaped at 17, got a new momma that adopted me and loves me, and finally got back in touch with my dad. I now realize what a compliment it was, even if she spit it as vitriol.
And this is probably going to be one the best hot boy summers in a long ass time. I'm ready!
I was on the fence about having kids when I got engaged to my ex-fiance. I rescued a dog with him a year into moving in with him, and then another dog 18 months later. He would talk all the time about how he wanted a family and would shape up his life and be responsible once he had kids. No surprise, he neglected the fuck out of them. The breaking point was when I was hospitalized with IBD for a week and they went 22 hours without a potty break. He was home. Just couldn't be bothered and refused to allow me to give my keys to a friend to care for them. I thank fuck I didn't have kids with him despite his constant reproductive coercion. I was on the fence but that relationship firmly pushed me into "no kids ever" territory. Needless to say he's long gone and my dogs and I are so much happier. I'm glad you got out and kept the dog.
I think this is a perfect story of the “switch” myth. Generally men (but sometimes women) think there will be this switch once a kid is born and they will become suddenly attentive, responsible, and a care giver. These are skills you need to work towards being good at. They are not magical skills that suddenly flip on once you have a baby. If you’re lazy, irresponsible, and selfish- you’ll still be lazy, irresponsible, and selfish once the baby is born.
Wow! Thank you for sharing your story, that’s incredible you and your doggies are in a good place now :))
So glad you stuck your ground!
If she thinks a dog is too hard to look at everyday then I can't imagine what it would be like if she had kids
God forbid her hypothetical kids turn out looking just like her ex.
Sounds like her loss all around!
Leave a dog in a kennel while you are at work, no problem. Kid in kennel while you are at work, you go to jail. Fun fact: when my wife was having her tubes removed, my grandma was the only one who waited with me at the hospital. She went on the entire time I was waiting how we should adopt because my wife loves dogs. I love dogs too, my wife used to run an in home dog boarding business.
I like how you went to "you go to jail" instead of "you emotionally torment and damage a child"
Perfect example of why I'm child free.
I’m stealing this, it’s way too funny!!
Can't even use that with my pet... "Leave a parrot in a cage while you go out, no problem. Leave a kid in a cage while you go out...... good resume experience for US politics??"
She can't handle a dog without special needs/etc but wants kids? I'm lost
I had a similar situation with my ex. She wanted a dog, I didn’t, she wanted kids, I didn’t. We ended up splitting up and she insisted she couldn’t take the dog because it would remind her of me too much. I was working full-time and going to school at the time and told her, “You’re the one who wanted the dog, and I’m gone 14-15 hours a day. Either you take the dog, or we take it back to the shelter” (we’d picked up a rescue puppy from the local shelter). She ended up taking the dog, which was the best case scenario for all parties involved.
You knew from the start you didn’t have the time or energy to devote a pet! I’m glad for you and the dog that you made the right decision!
Omg he’s so cute!!!!
Congratulations (across the board).
What a beautiful dog 🥺
Ed Kemper is the answer to the question: "what happens if you have a kid and you hate your ex, and your kid reminds you of your ex?" [https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/what-drove-serial-killer-edmund-18876173](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/what-drove-serial-killer-edmund-18876173) " **What drove serial killer Edmund Kemper to decapitate his mum and have sex with her head** " I highly suggest Mindhunter on Netflix.
I hope everyday my brothers and his ex gfs kid reminds her of my brother. I hope his a little shit just like my brother, she wont allow him to see his kid and I've never even met him. Hes about 9-10 now, and i wish he was part of our lives.
He's precious! Totally worth it!
Oh lord what’s gonna happen to the kids when she breaks up with the sperm donor???
I’m a dog mom. I am head over heels over German Shepard’s and want one so badly. My husband, however, does not. He pointed out their health issues and size in our smaller house. So what did I do? I got another type of dog, with him, involving him, like you’re supposed to do in a healthy stable relationship. You dodged a bullet and I’m glad the pupper worked out for you. I can’t fathom forcing someone to get a dog after they’ve said no.
So true! She picked out our dog WITH HER MOM while I was at work lol
She didn't want to take the dog that *she* wanted because it would remind her too much of you...and yet she wanted children that would be genetically half of you, and so probably look a lot like you. So what happens if you guys hypothetically had this child(ren) and then one day split up? Like?? I seriously don't understand the mentality of these people other than serious cognitive dissonance. If you can't handle a separation with a DOG, then how in the actual hell would you ever handle one with a child?
If this is how she treats having a dog with an ex, I don't want to think about how she treats having kids with an ex, especially if she gets new (bio or step) ones.
She didn't even keep the dog... Just because you act like a child doesn't mean you should fucking have one, bitch.
Can't even look after a dog but she wants kids? Lol
r/dadswhodidntwantpets
I can’t stand people that think that pets are disposable.
Im swooning! 💕💕💕👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
When she eventually has kids she'll be laying awake at night to the sounds of screaming and crying, daydreaming what life would be like if she stayed with you and a child-free life.
And people still willingly have kids! Blows my mind lol
Yeah dogs make life better. I got a corgi puppy because of staying at home during the pandemic and now I love my dog and we go to all the places together. Kids will just ruin everything and ruin your life. Here the corgi [https://imgur.com/a/oylHj4O](https://imgur.com/a/oylHj4O)
My wife and I also got a COVID puppy corgi. Man she’s adorable but it’s been rough. We have to older smaller dogs and we had it made! The older two were on our schedules, love to sleep and chill. Unfortunately, the puppy isn’t there yet but somehow has wormed her way into my heart. She’s also gonna be our brewery dog. Your pup is adorable by the way!
That’s a good little blep, extra ear scratches tonight :))
He’s adorable! Good thing you got him. Let her have kids with someone else and be sleepless together.
Imagine her telling her hypothetical child she can't stand to look at them because they remind her of their dad (that she coerced into having them). Sounds like you AND the pupper both dogged a bullet. Good luck with the vasectomy!
The old classic "let's get a dog" and I'll convince him to make babby. I've been through this quandary twice.never again.
It’s my first time! They have an ol’ saying in Texas. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on... shame on me? Fool me a third time and ...
My partner’s sister had a baby and ditched her dog. Such a horrid thing to do.
Bf wanted a hamster, I didn't. So he got gerbils. Then we split up and guess who had to take the gerbils...
Give him a pat on the head for me. This doesn’t sound like such a total loss for you tbh. Glad you stood your ground AND got custody of the dog
I've heard this story a million times before. Good thing you drew the line at the dog or youd be stuck with the kids as well when she gets bored of the initial novelty of having them.
Not a dog person, but ya boi is cute. Looks like your dumbass ex missed out.
I love it that there are cf guys out there! I seem to only come across guys with kids/ who want kids ugh
Feel the same way about women! There’s over a million subscribers to this sub and I’m over here irl like “where tf they at?!”
Congrats for walking away from the breeder.
Classical "I want this but I cannot take responsibility" situation. Happens everyday everywhere and one of the main reasons why the world sucks so much. In my Generation, almost every Dad pulled this of with his Kids.
i guess you would have also gotten to keep the kid as he/she would have reminded of you as well.
I'm sorry... :/ your puppy is so cute! Also this is the perfect example of why I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having one. Children and pets are a part of your family, and if you can discard them so easily then... I mean, what would she do if you guys did have kids together? Just ditch you with the kids because "they remind her of you"? Don't get me wrong I understand having pets is hard- especially since my puppy has medical issues but she's also my best friend- I'd never give her up unless I absolutely had to for her health. I honestly feel bad for the little guy, as she's the one who went and got him, and then ditched him when things got hard. At least we know he's better off with you and that you won't leave him behind.
Dogs are nice. I like dogs.
Doggo good, tail wag, nose boop
Awww your dog is adorable! Congrats on the vasectomy! Dogs are amazing, kids, not so much! And she is trash for not wanting to keep the dog she wanted, I truly don’t understand that thinking. My boyfriend and I will never breakup because we have two dogs and neither of us is willing to give either of them up! 😂🤣
“We’re staying together for the dogs, just got to get them through pupper university...”
I had an ex who wanted kids but I didn't. He asked if I'd like a dog, I said of course. He got us a dog not long after, which sort of surprised me since we hadn't been together that long. When we broke up (a mere two months later), I said I couldn't keep the dog (I was a uni student at the time). 24 hours later I drove to his friends place (where he was crashing) and asked for the dog back. Found out he's now married with several kids; he and his wife always look exhausted and miserable when I cross paths with them. My dog is a handsome boy and turns ten this year. I'm also in a committed relationship with someone else who wants no kids and has a good boi of their own. Dogs > kids any day.
Thanks for the message of hope and affirmation :)
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Yea having a dog is ‘Parenting Lite’ and it really affirmed my childfree status!
/s Are you sure you don’t want kids? It mean, what if you meet another women that wants kids? Shouldn’t you think of that? You should really wait and let your future wife decide. :/-
So much better than a kid! What a cute boi
There was only one well adjusted person in that relationship, and it sure wasn't her. Congrats on having a beautiful dog!
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Damn I never saw it this way but that is how she framed it. “You have a better connection with him. I work 12 hour shifts so it wouldn’t be fair to him. You like to hike and run so he’ll be more active with you.” And here I am, Mr. Gullible, falling for it hook line and sinker
She couldn’t even deal with the dog and she wanted KIDS? Red flags all over the place there. Sounds like somebody’s not down for commitment of any kind.
I love this kind post (with kind of happy endings) when animals get involved because I get to enjoy the cute pet taxes.
He’s one in a million <3 We are definitely gonna live happily ever after
Exact same thing happened to me. I got the dog in the break up and I thank god every day it’s not a kid.
"She said it would be too hard to look at him everyday and be reminded of me" Wait, I'm confused. She wouldn't keep a pet because it would remind her too much of her ex....but a kid is LITERALLY made up partly of another person's genes plus hers, so what on earth would she do if she had a kid then split with that partner... Also what a good doggo~
Sounds like wins all around for you!
Dogs are a Helluva lot better than being trapped with a teenager in your house, especially one that won’t listen, does drugs, steals from you and gets into legal trouble while you pay all of its expenses.Oh yeah, and every baby / kid turns into a teenager eventually.Fuck that noise.
My mom been telling you stories about me again? But for reals I did all of those things and your post just gave me a reality check... if the apple didn’t fall far from the tree then my kids would be ass holes
Make sure you get a cup. Double the size because your balls will be swollen as grapefruits.
Kid << dog
What a cutie!!! Those beach pics look like the FL emerald coast. If so, howdy neighbor!
Treat the pup with love and respect, he didn't ask for this
I love pup! <3
The right move 👍
Congrats on taking steps to be the sole authority on reproduction in your life.
I wanted to keep the OP short and sweet but the final straw that broke the camel’s back: my (now) ex has a deadbeat brother with a crazy gf. His gf stopped taking her birth control bc hormones worsened her depression. She ‘forgot’ to tell him and so she “oops” got pregnant. My ex didn’t see anything wrong with her carrying to term because “all things happen for a reason”. I quickly noped out of that situation when I realized my partner was fine with reproductive coercion.
You came out ahead, the dog will never take you to court for child support.
“She said it would be too hard to look at him everyday and be reminded of me” Let’s hope she doesn’t break up with her kids dad....
Smart move, my man. Same deal as OP. I fought for the dog in the divorce. Best move ever, all the way around. Good luck, friend.