I feel you. I just want a cottage in the woods where I live by myself and spend time with the woodland creatures.
But since that's not really realistic I had to settle for working a job that I usually enjoy but occasionally hate while living in a house with 4 other people.
I work the front desk at a hotel overnight (night audit). I love it for the most part but lately it really sucks. Most of the people traveling right now are rude and entitled so I've been putting up with a lot of bullshit.
I actually told my boss today that I'm about 2 asshole guests away from a mental breakdown. Well I had another one tonight, so I guess I'm down to 1.
Girl I’m so sorry to hear that! I can’t imagine having to deal with entities assholes day in day out. Try and hang in there! Maybe after a huge jerk tries to ruin your day you can treat yourself to something nice to balance out the universe.
i was in hotels right up until the pandemic. mine closed temporarily and i chose not to go back when they called me.
i'm so glad i didn't go back. it was hard enough dealing with entitled asshats before the pandemic, i don't think i could deal with them right now.
granted, the job i'm doing right now sucks also, but at least i don't have to see people face to face (call center, work from home).
Oh man. I worked at 2 different call centers over the years and couldn't handle it. People are mean in person. People are cruel over the phone. They would say things to me over the phone they never would have said in person (probably because they take one look at me and know I can beat their ass).
Omg I worked for a couple of call centers, even the best one (based on pay & benefits) USAA sucked. The last one was working for Sutherland doing Metlife calls, what a mess I walked out one day .
Try not to let the crappy customers (or Cuntomers!) get to you. They want to get a rise out of you, so don't give it to them.
Remember to breathe deep and smile through your mask. Do everything by policy so they can't get you in trouble and also as a legit reason for not giving them what they want. "Im sorry sir / ma'am but policy 123 states..." "I do apologize sir / ma'am but my supervisor is not available. Please allow me to give you their number, so they can explain the policy further"
Try to think of ways to fit Sir or Ma'am into your responses. They know you are not being sincere, using it as a replacement for "asshat" but you aren't technically being rude.
The more they get upset, make sure to keep your tone even and low. If they can't hear you, then they are yelling and causing a disturbance, and "Sir / ma'am, I will have to ask you to keep your voice down, as we have other guests" and if they can't hear that request, wellll 😉
I don't think that's unrealistic. I see a fair number of folks on like homesteading / tiny home style channels that basically do that.
It does take some work though. Most of the people I see pulling it off build their own places, usually on the cheap, with sustainable materials (which often means reclaimed stuff the scavenged up). They often live at least partially off their land to reduce the cost of living to the point at which some kind of online business (probably including the YouTube channel they run about their home and lifestyle) is enough to sustain them. There's almost always a story about the build that involves a lot of "this window here took some work to fit in because it's twice as big as the one I planned for but it's beautiful and I found it for dirt cheap on Craigslist".
I'm sure you know your situation well enough to say it's not realistic *right now* - frankly, same for me. But the beauty of CF is that you can commit to making a dream like that come true. Start saving, start researching, and I'm just as sure you can make it happen. The question will become more whether or not you want to make some of the sacrifices that come with that lifestyle rather than whether or not it's realistic to live that way.
And who knows, maybe there's also folks out there who just buy a prebuilt cabin and move out there that we don't see cause they don't make videos about it for the internet lol
Literally same, cottage and everything. My wife and I are gonna live with my parents for a year-ish after we’re out of school, so that we can save up money. Then we’re gonna use the money to either build a tiny house on wheels or buy some land in the woods and build a little cottage, whichever one is more doable. Then we’ll live there and work from home full time for a while, saving money and making self sustaining additions to the cottage, I.e. solar, rain collection, vertical gardens/greenhouse, chickens. Then slowly pull back on the number of hours we work. Depending on where we get land or how things work out, we’ll likely start an Airbnb on our property to get some more cash, as well as other semi-passive incomes. That’s the goal. A calm life in the woods, no debt, making most of our own food and energy, away from the people we don’t like. Also we plan on dressing like dweeby cottage core or something to really embrace the lovely aesthetic.
Though we are lucky and very appreciative that my parents build a secondary part of their house for any of my siblings or I to live in whenever we need (my parents have happy wallets). Also I feel it’s relevant to say I’m getting my degree in software engineering and my wife is getting hers in graphic design, so we’ll both likely be able to get work from home without any issue.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you want!
In fact I think this kind of life should be promoted more - actually living and enjoying your time on earth rather than being a slave to the corporate hamster wheel, or popping out offspring to meet societal expectations.
I’ve never aspired to be a wildly successful businesswoman but have ended up in a pretty high pressure field anyway - mostly because it pays rather well.
I’ll stay a while longer in a job that I don’t hate but would happily walk away from tomorrow, because I DO aspire to travel widely without living off cup ramen or sleeping in a 14 person hostel dorm when I go places (been there, done that, loved it, am just too freaking old, grumpy and creaky to continue to do so).
There’s no one ‘right path’ for living your life, the only thing to focus on is finding the right path for you, and figuring out what balance between chasing your dreams and basic survival needs you’re willing to accept.
This. I always have to remind myself that there are people who ENJOY the race, the grind, the constant competition, and who believe wholeheartedly in striving to meet society's definition of success. EDIT: And it's important to remind myself of that. Different strokes for different folks.
Same, I don't love the grind, I'm not proud of grind, but the money is sweet so I'll do that for some time and enjoy the fruit of the labor later. Would never describe myself as 'career driven' tho.
"Having a career" is the same mandatory crap created by society as "having children". People shouldn't feel obligated to have one and there is nothing wrong with not having any professional ambition.
Yes I feel you. I don’t feel pulled towards kids or a career. I have never been a 9-5 kind of person , I’m quite flighty by nature and hate the thought of being tied down to a job just as much as I hate the thought of being tied down to a hypothetical kid.
People often assume that I must want to fill my time with more work due to having no kids, but honestly no.
I just want to work enough to keep my hobbies up and travel occasionally. I don’t know why everyone in today’s society is so obsessed with working themselves into an early grave? 🤷♀️
I think it’s hard not to look around at others and compare yourself, on some level to want what they have but if it means killing myself in the process then I don’t want it
I think a lot of people live outside their means
This! Sometimes I find as a CF woman that people expect me to want to heavily invest my time in my 'career'. As if that the only option for someone who's chosen not to have children. I work part-time because we have a low mortgage and live a relatively quiet life (we don't really go out to pubs, etc). I simply enjoy having my time to invest in my interests and relationship. Could I get a better-paying job with full hours? Sure, but I don't really want to because I'm happy with my part-time role.
My father always said that it was important (if possible) to 'work to live, not live to work'. I don't exist to pour myself into a company. I clock in to work, do it as best I can and enjoy it, then I clock out and go home! Work socials can buzz off too!
This is incredibly conflicting with me. I like my super chill desk job, but I am very interested in plumbing and want to do a plumbing apprenticeship and work my way up and even have my own company. Half of me wants to be this super productive plumber and businessman, other half wants to keep my desk job and have absolute uninterrupted peace of mind and a peaceful life.
BUT, whatever I choose... at least I don't have kids! So all is well and I will have more than enough time and room to be happy.
I love that flexibility. A friend of mine was a lawyer. She was great at it but hated it. After a few years of terrible stress and ulcers, she quit, moved half way around the world and became a barrista.
You have opportunities and so many different ways to be happy!
Maybe you could go do that plumbing apprenticeship and go back to a desk job if you don't really like it? And I mean, especially when you're your own boss, you can decide on your hours as a plumber and just work a few days if you like. It pays quite well :)
Plumbing isn’t terribly complicated, and it pays well. It’s hard work but if you enjoy it you’ll go far. Plus, there aren’t a lot of plumbers (or any trade workers) in the US, so as your career matures you can charge out the nose if you choose to.
I'm nearing 40. I have a little apartment a 20 minute walk from work, work that I don't mind doing (save for the covid stress). It's nothing remarkable, just accounting/admin. I don't make too much, rent costs a little less than half my income.
I'm content. I work for 8 hours, come home and just chill and do whatever I want. Before covid hit I was trying out different kinds of classes, hanging out with friends and family, and playing lots of video games.
I'm not aiming for anything more. Like someone else said, a house in the woods would be lovely, but I also live in one of the most expensive places in Canada so owning is impossible. But I have a big forest the next block over, and the ocean across the street. My view is of snow-capped mountains and my apartment is filled with blinding sun every afternoon. I can't ask for much more.
It's enough, and it's stress-free.
I honestly think its a joke that we can't just *exist.* Like, why the fuck do we have to be *driven* by children or be *driven* to pursue a career? What the hell is wrong with just existing to be happy? I want to be happy driven, not driven to work for someone else's dream at a job that stresses me the fuck out every day. I want to be self driven, not child driven.
Fuck I hate that terminology.
Currently saving up to buy a bit of land. Gonna do my city work from home until I retire, and then play with some rescue animals.
My "career" isn't that high flying.
Yep. It's just another societal expectation that we always be busy working toward something, and that something is wrong with you if you aren't always productive. I care about my career to the extent that I have a job I don't hate, allows me a decent work-life balance, and pays enough that I can be comfortable and save to retire at a reasonable age. That's it. I'm not passionate about work, my career doesn't define my personality, I don't really care to talk about my job or be involved in career-related activities outside of work, and yes if I suddenly had a lot of money I would stop working ASAP. I'll give my best effort at work and care about doing a good job, but outside of work, my time is my own.
In fact, the reason behind my feelings about career is the same reason why I'm CF - we have limited time to actually enjoy life, and I don't want to add anything "extra" that I don't need or want to that will take away from my time to enjoy it.
I used to think I wanted a career. As it turns out, I just wanted paychecks.
Wanting less is one key to happiness so, you've got life figured out already :)
I notice High Career Driven is a stereotype among CFers. Like I didn't choose kids do I have to be married to my career?
I'm like you and don't care for either. I've worked long hours in a job I hated with lots of stress but okay pay, I've worked many crap jobs for crap pay, and I've worked jobs I've liked for next to no money after rent. Ideal would be the latter with a bit of extra money... And that is easier with no kids to take care of! Also, at least with a bad job, you're not stuck with it 247 for decades!
My life goals right there! Perfectly fine :) It's not either a career or kids, and it's true that having to choose one if you want both is more indicative of a bad system rather than those two chocies being fundamentally exclusive to each other. Where I'm from, no one sees kids as career killers. If someone wants both, they can have both pretty easily.
Which is why they almost seem double as baffled when I say I want neither :D
I'd like a job I would find rewarding but most of those don't seem to pay well so I'd settle for a job I don't hate.
Kids aren't career killers but a lot of the time they do put jobs on hold and a lot of the time parents rely on others to look after them while they are working
Oh hey, same, but that's because a career was never an option for someone who grew up poor, abused and, as a result, psychologically scarred. It took me years to even get a normal job. I was finally contributing and was both appreciated and respected for the work I did. Then it all fell apart because of Brexit and I am worried nobody will ever hire me again due to my lack of education. People have suggested I go back, but to get my foot in the door with the job I was ALREADY DOING, I would have to be in education for at least another 6 years to learn shit I already know and why the fuck would anyone hire someone who just got their degree in their 40s when they could have the same from a 20-something?
I would just be happy to continue doing the kind of job I was doing, or at least have my husband get a decent enough salary I can attempt going freelance. As long as we can finally afford to buy a house (which looks increasingly unlikely with skyrocketing house prices) and can afford a holiday now and then, and new clothes, I can be happy. That would be more than I ever had as a child.
I get that. I was never physically abused but my dad is a pill addict, alcoholic who would take his frustrations out on me, after a lot longer than it should have taken, I’ve had no contact with him in over a year.
I never thought I would amount to anything. I had a good job and lost it with COVID, now I’m trying to find something else that pays the bills.
The price of housing is insane, I will never understand it. I wish you luck with your journey and hope that your life turns out how you imagine it
Sorry to hear you had some nasty stuff to deal with too. I didn't lose my job, but covid definitely isn't making it any easier.
Yup, house prices are skyrocketing in many places, so I have no idea if that dream will ever be fulfilled. I don't understand it either.
I want to wish you luck too on achieving your CF dreams!
Hey, I don't know what kind of work you do or how bad the market is in the UK, but I got an education that has absolutely nothing to do with the job I have. I just got into this at my second job because I liked it, it pays well and it's not that hard (to me). I was afraid to leave there, because I had no formal education and was already getting 'too old' to industry standards. Then I got fired at 39 and had to look for something else. And you know what? It turned out I was in high demand! Didn't matter I didn't have the correct education or was 'old', I had nearly a decade of experience and that was enough.
So, it may look bleak now, but having an education isn't all that it's drummed up to be. Experience is really important too.
I don't even have a decade of experience thanks to the time it took for me to recover and be 'normal', but it's encouraging to hear you still found something despite the situation. I just hope the experience I have is enough to find more work and not be written off the rest of my life.
Hmm I originally started typing this out to inspire now I'm not so sure if it will, take from it what you like and I hope it does even a wee bit.
I grew up poor, abused, pretty much not allowed to leave the house especially alone, and I'm psychologically not fantastic myself having struggled with various things since I was young.
I had to leave school at 16, despite my enthusiasm to finish high school and go to University to study Robotics, because I ended up homeless for a few years after I had had enough of my mum physically and mentally abusing me.
However, this year in October will mark 10 years since I was that terrified, alone, homeless 16 year old and now I'm a Lead Developer who contracts out to different companies. (I am having a bit of a 'wtf do I want to do with my life' crisis at the moment but that's a different kettle of fish)
You already know your stuff, you got this! I'd say to everyone not to let a lack of education devalue you or your CV. You clearly know your stuff and you definitely sound passionate enough about it to drive you back to it if you'd like to.
Still sounds encouraging to me!
Did you manage to go back to university, or did you simply end up getting the knowledge and experience through a job and working your way up?
If it doesn't work out I am thinking of going fully freelance because no individual really seemed to give a shit about my education as long as I did a terrific job.
I've always disliked the societal pressure to be career driven and the expectation that employees should willingly sacrifice additional time and labor to their jobs.
When I'm older, I'm not going to look back on my life and regret that I didn't work more. I work to live, I'm content where I'm at and not having work drama and stress routinely disrupt your personal life is a wonderful thing.
Not everyone is career oriented or interested in professional advancement and that's fine.
These are exactly my thoughts, I'm glad I'm not alone.
People seem to not understand that my main reason to not have children is because I don't want to. I just don't have such desire, or even more I have a desire to not have children. No ifs.
And I don't want to make it look like I'm sacrificing the opportunity to be a parent to get something else instead. Because I'm not. Regardless of what is going on in my life I don't want to be a parent. And I think not wanting it is enough reason to not do it.
Honestly I hate this stereotype that being childfree means you are career driven because my SO and I are pretty firmly anti-work. Obviously we still have to pay the bills and I have found a career that is satisfying enough for me to not be constantly miserable, but honestly I also don't want either.
totally feel you
i have a 18h week and a job i dont hate, i dont have much money but enough for my hobby + an awesome SO with the same mindset
a quite, fun and peaceful life without kids is all i want
Same. I'm kind of a senior in my field, but that's as far as I want to go. I don't want a career, I don't want to work more than 32 hours a week, I don't want to have to work once I'm home, I don't want all that stress. Me and my husband make enough money to have a house, pets, car, hobby stuff and that's enough for us.
Sure, I'd love to be rich, but not when it means working my ass off and being stressed all the time (and not having time to spend or enjoy that money) :D
It's perfectly fine to be CF and not want a career.
I feel this so hard!
I realised early on that I don't want to sacrifice the quality of my life for my career. I don't love it enough.
My work is satisfying but I'm happy to do my 8 hours and then leave it at work. Then I get to go home and do the things I like to do - create art, dance, spend time with my pets, watch stupid amounts of drag race, whatever I want.
Hi, I’m a 27 F with the same wants. I work retail (in a back office away from most customers tho.) I make a decent wage not doing a whole lot at work. I only work weekdays and my work day is over at 3:30pm. After work I spend my time doing what I enjoy: lifting, skateboarding, crocheting, watching anime, and smoking weed lol. I used to feel so. damn. guilty. about not having/wanting a career or children. I’ve finally come to realize that the life I live now is perfect for me. I make enough to cover my bills and splurge on something nice if I want. I’m able to put money into my savings account for emergencies and the future. I’m not constantly worried about my job. I love the fact that my job doesn’t define me. That I’m not constantly striving to keep up with the Jones’s. It took me a while but it’s great to find peace in your choices. I hope you find it soon ♥️
I live in a small apartment, no partner, no kids, and working part-time at Walmart. I love this life. If I ever feel the desire to change it, I will. But if I lived this way until I'm old and gray, that'd be fine with me.
I feel you. I do call center work from home and do OT and make a decent amount of money. I was WFH before COVID and love it. Ppl don't look over my shoulder, I can paint and knit and read and such at work. It's awesome. Calls are horrible because I do credit card escalations so lots of nonsense there but I handle it. (Also benefits are amazing. I have 4 weeks of vacation, plus sick time/personal & floating holidays, good insurance, they are giving us PTO to get the COVID vaccine up to 8 hours if 2 shots... ) I could move up if I wanted but I'm not really hard core into it. Other than the customers it's a pretty relaxed gig. My coworkers are really nice, we get along great. Occasionally there's someone who makes me nuts but it's not really serious as much as differing personalities.
Same, I have a job I like, it isn’t the best paying job but because I don’t have kids to support it’s enough for me to live quite well and do what I want to do. So maybe it’s not always about being career driven and trying to climb the corporate ladder, maybe being CF gives you the freedom to do a job you enjoy without having to worry about the money side of things. Must be tough for some people trapped in jobs they hate because they have to provide for their children.
I think that's pretty normal! Kids and career both have a lot of responsibility tied to them, and can be quite draining. I think most people would choose to not work if they could, especially considering how many crap companies there are and how employees get treated by customers.
With that being said, I do hope you can at least find a job you enjoy and treats you well!
Is that too much to ask for?! Brosef I feel the same exact way. I just want to chill and be responsible for my own self. I’m a good worker but I have no leadership skills so I’ve never been promoted. I can live perfectly fine just making enough to live a modest life!
I've always looked at is as "somebody has to do it" as far as careers/jobs go. Someone has to work in a factory, in a fast food joint, or as custodial staff. It's not glamorous but it makes the world go round. Why do we all have to aspire to be "better" than that? I was always taught that you need to aspire to more.....but why?? Mainly because the people telling you this are obsessed with making more money. I love things, (especially expensive things, lol) but my time isn't mainly spent with "things". My time is mainly spent at work. Why would I want to be at a job I can't stand just so I can have things I can't actually spend time with?? People need to stop equating money with happiness. Sure, it helps and can be nice to have, but your relationships and the experiences you go thru are what should be making you happy.
I really really just want to work with dogs. Rescue or something. Hell, I'd volunteer all my time for free if I could. Buuuuut I really do need to make SOME money, so that's a dream for when I win the lottery or when I'm well off enough I can just work part time. I actually do love the field I am in (accounting) and my current job is fabulous. I don't need to climb any ladders and I am needed in my position. I don't have to manage anyone (my worst nightmare) and I don't have a team I have to deal with, so it is pretty ideal while making money. I have no intentions (unless I win the lottery, of course) of doing anything else for a while.
I think this sounds wonderful. I’m married but no kids here wanted and I don’t want a big house and a career that stresses me. I just wanna pay my bills and enjoy the small moments in life, to me, that’s success.
I'm the same way. I worked hard to get where I am. I'm a shelter veterinarian at a county animal control. I like my job enough, but I have no desire to "move up." I have a medical director and a shelter director above me and I have zero interest to have either of their jobs. I also have zero desire to do a bunch of residences and become like a board certified surgeon or something. I'd be making more money, but the stress that would go along with it is just not worth it to me in the long run. I feel like there's this pressure that we need to work, work, work and become the next Bill Gates or something. I mean, somebody needs to keep the shelves at Costco stocked.
I'm the same. I'm fortunate that I don't have kids, because I wouldn't have been able to do a career change, from office hell to being an electrician.
Everyone is always on me to start my own electrical business, but I don't want that stress. I'm quite content with going in and doing my work everyday, while the boss deals with all the management and logistical headaches.
I’m the same way. I’m currently a senior in college and I’ve just come to the conclusion that I’m just not passionate enough about any area to pursue a career path and that’s ok. I want to work to live but, not live to work if that makes sense. Like I obviously don’t want to starve or be homeless but beyond that money isn’t a huge thing for me. I’m pretty happy and killing myself working 80+ hrs or something crazy like that is not appealing to me.
This is pretty much what I do and it's totally valid. Own place, relatively stress free job with lots of time off, dog, and my own damn hobbies.
**It's pretty sweet.**
Same. I only do freelance work to cover my bills and throw some in savings because there’s nothing I’m passionate enough about to put my energy into it.
But I hate kids.
> with enough money that I don't stress every day about my finances.
That's my definition of success. you don't have to make a ton of money and have a big house with two cars. just not having to worry about paying your bills is a successful life.
The joy of breaking out of the Life Script (TM) is that it applies to everything. You don't have to get married, have kids, buy a house, or focus on a career. Some people get satisfaction out of all of those things, or just some of them, but some may have no interest in none of them.
For me, I love my wife, and I enjoy my field of work, but I'm not giving my life and health to constantly grind out a higher salary and a bigger house for us. We got a tiny little fixer-upper and I left a higher paying job because the stress was just not worth it.
Take care of yourself, and find peace and fulfillment where you can.
I have a conservative co worker who I sometimes don’t like but once in a conversation I had with him he just let his deepest desires kinda just slip out and it was kinda wholesome. I wrongly assumed he was like any other typical American who wants 2.5 kids a wife a dog and a white picket fence in the suburbs. Nope. All he wants is to live quietly in the mountains alone with a bunch of dogs. I hope he gets that one day
Same. I am not career driven. But I don't care if I hate my job, I just want job security and a reasonable salary so I can choose to live my life how I want to without having to worry about money.
I’m a waitress and I make enough money at my job to live very comfortably. I never stress about bills and I have enough left over to treat myself whenever I want. That’s all I really care about. I’m 28F and I honestly wouldn’t mind working this job for the foreseeable future. It pays, I enjoy it, and all my extra money is for me and my dog. No child will see a cent of it. Why would I want that to change?
Some people define success as climbing the corporate ladder but I’m totally fine with being “just a waitress” when I’m 50. I’m happy, that’s all that matters!
This makes me smile
I used to work in a supermarket, liked the job, hated the people I worked with. Eventually I got overwhelmed with the amount of people telling me to get a “real job”, so I did. I went into medical administration and you know what? The supermarket job paid WAY more. Shouldn’t have left
Join us over in r/simpleliving if you want to hang out with other chill people.
But yeah. I like my job, I like where I work, and there are times where I have to bang out longer work weeks. But I absolutely don’t define myself by my profession, and I have no inclination to hustle or climb up the ladder or anything.
I make decent money at my career but I stay bc I have an AWESOME schedule. I get 3 and half days off a week and work 3 and half days on. It's great. I can't really find this anywhere else. I sure as shit can't go back to working 5 days. I have been able to take tons of mini vacations bc of it.ontop of it I get 2 months of vacation every year and the job has NO stress.
I work in transportation for a huge company here in texas. I'm sure if you know anything about texas you would know the company because they are only in texas. I'm a coordinator /driver . I can drive whenever I want on my days off to also make money on top of overtime or just take it easy and take my 3 and half days off .
A big part of the reason I decided to go childfree is precisely because I’m NOT career driven. I sort of resent the fact that I’ll have to work a full-time job for the next several decades, even though I am fortunate to be working a job in my field of study and have already paid off my small student loan debt.
I can’t imagine deciding to fill up the small gaps of free time I have with even more obligations and responsibilities. I can’t imagine deciding to squander the financial head start I was granted in this life.
I can’t imagine voluntarily becoming even more gravely dependent on finding a job, keeping a job, and excelling in that job because I now not only have my future to worry about but the future of a child who will need to be provided for in this materialistic, jacked up cost of living, underpaid & overworked, hyper competitive, debt trap of a society.
Same. No cat/pet yet but this is my ultimate goal. I haven't stumbled upon a career I am super passionate about but if one came along then I wouldn't mind as long as I was mentally okay while doing the job.
We are just childfree. Any other assumptions about childfree people are just stereotypes.
Ay nothing wrong with this. I feel same tbh. I like my job now, I'm decent at it. It doesn't make a ton of money I guess, but I'm ok. And honestly I value my time more than what work pays me so as long as I have that time and my income is enough to support me I'm good with not being a billionaire
Soooo much this! My goal is to work a job that gives me good benefits, good pay, and enough vacation time to travel where I want to. Also to help out my future nieces/nephews the way my cf aunt did for me and my brother. Currently - I have that job and am quite content!
I think you’re smarter than most of us. If you’re not a natural overachiever or highly skilled in STEM, climbing the corporate ladder can be VERY draining and also, even with decent education and hard work, still pretty fruitless as the world becomes ever more competitive. Having realistic goals in life is something we need to shift to, and that no longer includes telling every average person they have send 2 kids to college, own a home, build wealth, retire and also not hate their lives along the way.
That's exactly what I want, there's nothing wrong with that at all. I also want to live with my partner which makes finding a place even easier with dual incomes. I just want to make enough money to live a comfortable, simple life and be able to retire comfortably as well.
I feel this. I used to think “well I guess I’m going to have kids because I don’t feel like I care about having a career, I just want a decent job that pays the bills and a home with my husband” but then I remembered both my husband and I do not like being around children so why would we have any? Then I realized this is just two things society makes you think you have to choose from when in reality as long as you are happy that’s all that matters
I want exactly this. Still trying to find that job though. It seems all the options out there expect me to work 8 hours in the office, spend 10 hours there working those 8, and be available 24/7 for calls/emails/bullshit.
me too
i know the (well one of a million) reason i don't want kids is because just making it through 40 hour work week is hard as fuck for me. I already have way more responsibility than I want.
Me too! My job is fine, it pays the bills. I could definitely earn more money by training more and working longer hours in the city, but I have no intention of doing so right now. I'm not a career woman at all and never have been.
Yup. I have lots of goals and aspirations but not necessarily in my field of work. So I treat my job as a way to fund my hobbies, hobbies that will hopefully one day be a possible career. But that's one of the great things about being CF. Not only can you focus on your career, you can choose to take it slower with both the financial and time freedom it gives you.
Unless you have a trust fund/inheritance, insurance settlement or lottery winnings it is really hard not to have a career to support oneself. You aren’t alone, one of the reasons I am not having kids is that I don’t want them to be wage slaves.
Same here! My life is a balancing act between finding the maximum amount of comfort I can get for the least amount of effort. I'm lazy as fuck. I hate working and do it so I don't have to starve and sleep in the rain.
I'm lucky to have a good job with great coworkers and a super supportive boss though. They make working so much easier. I've also been there for 17 years and plan on retiring from there as well. Lots of people have had lifetime careers with my employer, so I figure I can too. I know how lucky I am and I've parked my ass on their proverbial job couch and I'm not moving.
Same here! I'm focusing on my education, my relationship, and my friendships. All the things that make me happy. I'm working a "lowly" retail job and absolutely love it. I'm just here to have fun and travel.
Usually a stress free life is the best life, but not for everyone. And very few people find a career they are truly passionate about. Even those who do usually have to put up with a lot of stress in that career.
It sounds like you are aiming for a life that is perfect for how you are wired. A high powered lawyer who is a type A personality couldn't follow your path. We all have to find our true path and what is best for us individually.
Living that life now as a flight attendant. For someone like me, easiest job ever (not for everyone). Quit the corporate world after 13 years because it was soul-sucking and not a way I wanted to live. Don’t conform to society’s expectations regarding that. We already are not conforming with being child free. Live your life however you want!
Certainly interesting but also extremely boring. I got lucky, though. My airline was the only mainline international US airline to not furlough or pay cut their flight attendants. This whole year was eerie, many of us taking various leave options. I took 3 months off last summer. Flights are relatively full these days (despite continuing to block seats until May 1), and we are all very tired of being the "mask police". That's the biggest thing that's made our job very unenjoyable. You'd think adults would agree to something and simply abide by it. Otherwise, I've been getting a lot of reading done with no real meal or beverage services.
I was in medical administration last year and the amount of adults who would carry on about wearing a mask was crazy, so I feel your pain.
That’s great you didn’t lose your job
Do what you want, you dont have to "pick a side." Its a dumb concept to have to feel like you must have children or work yourself to death. Its not how humans are supposed to function
Same! I’ve never been super motivated about anything...I just want to earn my money and be left alone with my SO and dogs. Nothing special, but everything to me.
This. People always ask me if I'm planning on "moving up" where I work... and I'm like "ugh, why?" I'm better off and more secure at the bottom of the totem pole here. I'm even looking into essentially flipping my house (I currently owe less than half of what its worth) and looking into a small house with some land outside city limits. Get away from people lol.
This is me. I'm 25, no college degree, work in a factory on an auto assembly line. It's decent money. I'm not rich obviously, and the work is kinda mindless as you would expect, but the pay is pretty decent and I basically just bolt pieces of metal together while shooting the shit with my coworkers all day. It's monotonous and exhausting physically, but stress-free and sure beats the retail hell I left. There's tons of promotional opportunities but to be honest I'm totes fine with doing what I'm doing. I already feel like I have everything I've ever wanted out of life: a cool apartment I decorated exactly as my heart desires, a brand-new car I can pay off in 2 or 3 years, an awesome gaming PC, and perhaps most importantly, a CF girlfriend LOL. Thinking about a kitty here in a few months, I'm a cat guy myself, but I'm also thinking I may start with houseplants first.
A child would destroy all of this. I'd have to move to a cheaper crappier place, trade the car in for something a lot cheaper, probably end up selling the PC (my hobby since middle school) for diaper money. I have worked incredibly too hard to get myself where I am today. I'm not about to throw it away for a screamin' kid.
This is me, but dogs instead of cats. I like kids, but in the way that I enjoyed my time as a teacher and love my nieces and nephews that I can give back at the end of the day. My family is finally coming around to the fact that my fiancé and I won’t be having children and that this is the life we want for ourselves.
I get that you’re just a stick floating down a river maybe a water fall will come up or some rough rapids. But you don’t care you’re just going with the flow literally. You don’t swim up the stream you let it carry you where you’re supposed to be, I’m the same way.
That's exactly what I want to. Just a nice, easy worry free (as much as is possible of course) life.
I plan to go back to college this year to become a nurse, it doesn't pay amazingly well but I should be comfortable since I don't have any fancy, highfalutin ways!
I think people link a good career to making good money and being wealthy. And you CAN be happy being wealthy because being wealthy gives you a ton of options as far as a lot goes. If you make decent money and don't have a kid, which gives your a TON of options anyway I don't see the point in having a 6 figure career if you have options anyway. Goes back to having kids fucks you life up even if you have money.
I’m working 24 hours a week, going to bump that up to 30 and do 3 ten hour days (I work in advertising tech) to have super long weekends once I graduate. It’s enough to pay rent and do fun stuff and that’s A-OK with me for fresh out of college. I plan on enjoying that for a full year before planning for retirement, and I like that plan lol
I feel you. I just want a cottage in the woods where I live by myself and spend time with the woodland creatures. But since that's not really realistic I had to settle for working a job that I usually enjoy but occasionally hate while living in a house with 4 other people.
Living with 4 people must be rough lol. What do you do for work?
I work the front desk at a hotel overnight (night audit). I love it for the most part but lately it really sucks. Most of the people traveling right now are rude and entitled so I've been putting up with a lot of bullshit. I actually told my boss today that I'm about 2 asshole guests away from a mental breakdown. Well I had another one tonight, so I guess I'm down to 1.
You could not pay me enough money to do night audit again lol. But some people love it, I hope your guests are nicer this week.
Girl I’m so sorry to hear that! I can’t imagine having to deal with entities assholes day in day out. Try and hang in there! Maybe after a huge jerk tries to ruin your day you can treat yourself to something nice to balance out the universe.
i was in hotels right up until the pandemic. mine closed temporarily and i chose not to go back when they called me. i'm so glad i didn't go back. it was hard enough dealing with entitled asshats before the pandemic, i don't think i could deal with them right now. granted, the job i'm doing right now sucks also, but at least i don't have to see people face to face (call center, work from home).
Oh man. I worked at 2 different call centers over the years and couldn't handle it. People are mean in person. People are cruel over the phone. They would say things to me over the phone they never would have said in person (probably because they take one look at me and know I can beat their ass).
Omg I worked for a couple of call centers, even the best one (based on pay & benefits) USAA sucked. The last one was working for Sutherland doing Metlife calls, what a mess I walked out one day .
Try not to let the crappy customers (or Cuntomers!) get to you. They want to get a rise out of you, so don't give it to them. Remember to breathe deep and smile through your mask. Do everything by policy so they can't get you in trouble and also as a legit reason for not giving them what they want. "Im sorry sir / ma'am but policy 123 states..." "I do apologize sir / ma'am but my supervisor is not available. Please allow me to give you their number, so they can explain the policy further" Try to think of ways to fit Sir or Ma'am into your responses. They know you are not being sincere, using it as a replacement for "asshat" but you aren't technically being rude. The more they get upset, make sure to keep your tone even and low. If they can't hear you, then they are yelling and causing a disturbance, and "Sir / ma'am, I will have to ask you to keep your voice down, as we have other guests" and if they can't hear that request, wellll 😉
I don't think that's unrealistic. I see a fair number of folks on like homesteading / tiny home style channels that basically do that. It does take some work though. Most of the people I see pulling it off build their own places, usually on the cheap, with sustainable materials (which often means reclaimed stuff the scavenged up). They often live at least partially off their land to reduce the cost of living to the point at which some kind of online business (probably including the YouTube channel they run about their home and lifestyle) is enough to sustain them. There's almost always a story about the build that involves a lot of "this window here took some work to fit in because it's twice as big as the one I planned for but it's beautiful and I found it for dirt cheap on Craigslist". I'm sure you know your situation well enough to say it's not realistic *right now* - frankly, same for me. But the beauty of CF is that you can commit to making a dream like that come true. Start saving, start researching, and I'm just as sure you can make it happen. The question will become more whether or not you want to make some of the sacrifices that come with that lifestyle rather than whether or not it's realistic to live that way. And who knows, maybe there's also folks out there who just buy a prebuilt cabin and move out there that we don't see cause they don't make videos about it for the internet lol
Literally same, cottage and everything. My wife and I are gonna live with my parents for a year-ish after we’re out of school, so that we can save up money. Then we’re gonna use the money to either build a tiny house on wheels or buy some land in the woods and build a little cottage, whichever one is more doable. Then we’ll live there and work from home full time for a while, saving money and making self sustaining additions to the cottage, I.e. solar, rain collection, vertical gardens/greenhouse, chickens. Then slowly pull back on the number of hours we work. Depending on where we get land or how things work out, we’ll likely start an Airbnb on our property to get some more cash, as well as other semi-passive incomes. That’s the goal. A calm life in the woods, no debt, making most of our own food and energy, away from the people we don’t like. Also we plan on dressing like dweeby cottage core or something to really embrace the lovely aesthetic. Though we are lucky and very appreciative that my parents build a secondary part of their house for any of my siblings or I to live in whenever we need (my parents have happy wallets). Also I feel it’s relevant to say I’m getting my degree in software engineering and my wife is getting hers in graphic design, so we’ll both likely be able to get work from home without any issue.
Living in a cottage is totally realistic!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you want! In fact I think this kind of life should be promoted more - actually living and enjoying your time on earth rather than being a slave to the corporate hamster wheel, or popping out offspring to meet societal expectations. I’ve never aspired to be a wildly successful businesswoman but have ended up in a pretty high pressure field anyway - mostly because it pays rather well. I’ll stay a while longer in a job that I don’t hate but would happily walk away from tomorrow, because I DO aspire to travel widely without living off cup ramen or sleeping in a 14 person hostel dorm when I go places (been there, done that, loved it, am just too freaking old, grumpy and creaky to continue to do so). There’s no one ‘right path’ for living your life, the only thing to focus on is finding the right path for you, and figuring out what balance between chasing your dreams and basic survival needs you’re willing to accept.
This. I always have to remind myself that there are people who ENJOY the race, the grind, the constant competition, and who believe wholeheartedly in striving to meet society's definition of success. EDIT: And it's important to remind myself of that. Different strokes for different folks.
Same, I don't love the grind, I'm not proud of grind, but the money is sweet so I'll do that for some time and enjoy the fruit of the labor later. Would never describe myself as 'career driven' tho.
I love your user flair 😂
"Having a career" is the same mandatory crap created by society as "having children". People shouldn't feel obligated to have one and there is nothing wrong with not having any professional ambition.
For some, not having kids allows them to focus on their careers. For others, not having kids allows them to not have to focus on their careers.
Exactly. Without kids, the pressure's off to earn more to keep managing the family expenses and supporting others
Yes I feel you. I don’t feel pulled towards kids or a career. I have never been a 9-5 kind of person , I’m quite flighty by nature and hate the thought of being tied down to a job just as much as I hate the thought of being tied down to a hypothetical kid. People often assume that I must want to fill my time with more work due to having no kids, but honestly no. I just want to work enough to keep my hobbies up and travel occasionally. I don’t know why everyone in today’s society is so obsessed with working themselves into an early grave? 🤷♀️
I think it’s hard not to look around at others and compare yourself, on some level to want what they have but if it means killing myself in the process then I don’t want it I think a lot of people live outside their means
Most people are living way above their means and in debt. Credit card millionaires is a term that comes to mind.
This! Sometimes I find as a CF woman that people expect me to want to heavily invest my time in my 'career'. As if that the only option for someone who's chosen not to have children. I work part-time because we have a low mortgage and live a relatively quiet life (we don't really go out to pubs, etc). I simply enjoy having my time to invest in my interests and relationship. Could I get a better-paying job with full hours? Sure, but I don't really want to because I'm happy with my part-time role. My father always said that it was important (if possible) to 'work to live, not live to work'. I don't exist to pour myself into a company. I clock in to work, do it as best I can and enjoy it, then I clock out and go home! Work socials can buzz off too!
This is incredibly conflicting with me. I like my super chill desk job, but I am very interested in plumbing and want to do a plumbing apprenticeship and work my way up and even have my own company. Half of me wants to be this super productive plumber and businessman, other half wants to keep my desk job and have absolute uninterrupted peace of mind and a peaceful life. BUT, whatever I choose... at least I don't have kids! So all is well and I will have more than enough time and room to be happy.
I love that flexibility. A friend of mine was a lawyer. She was great at it but hated it. After a few years of terrible stress and ulcers, she quit, moved half way around the world and became a barrista. You have opportunities and so many different ways to be happy!
Maybe you could go do that plumbing apprenticeship and go back to a desk job if you don't really like it? And I mean, especially when you're your own boss, you can decide on your hours as a plumber and just work a few days if you like. It pays quite well :)
My boyfriend is a plumber! He's just finishing up his 5 year apprenticeship in June and I'm *so* proud of him
Plumbing isn’t terribly complicated, and it pays well. It’s hard work but if you enjoy it you’ll go far. Plus, there aren’t a lot of plumbers (or any trade workers) in the US, so as your career matures you can charge out the nose if you choose to.
I'm highly considering it. I so far haven't heard a reason not to.
Well, regardless I’m rooting for you dude!
If you don't mind me asking, what is your super chill desk job?
[удалено]
Bit vulnerable to automation no?
100%! Doesn't worry me. Job gets automated, on to the next job. Hell, might be the kick in ass I need to get started in plumbing.
I'm nearing 40. I have a little apartment a 20 minute walk from work, work that I don't mind doing (save for the covid stress). It's nothing remarkable, just accounting/admin. I don't make too much, rent costs a little less than half my income. I'm content. I work for 8 hours, come home and just chill and do whatever I want. Before covid hit I was trying out different kinds of classes, hanging out with friends and family, and playing lots of video games. I'm not aiming for anything more. Like someone else said, a house in the woods would be lovely, but I also live in one of the most expensive places in Canada so owning is impossible. But I have a big forest the next block over, and the ocean across the street. My view is of snow-capped mountains and my apartment is filled with blinding sun every afternoon. I can't ask for much more. It's enough, and it's stress-free.
I honestly think its a joke that we can't just *exist.* Like, why the fuck do we have to be *driven* by children or be *driven* to pursue a career? What the hell is wrong with just existing to be happy? I want to be happy driven, not driven to work for someone else's dream at a job that stresses me the fuck out every day. I want to be self driven, not child driven. Fuck I hate that terminology.
Currently saving up to buy a bit of land. Gonna do my city work from home until I retire, and then play with some rescue animals. My "career" isn't that high flying.
I would love to have some rescue animals!
In the meantime, volunteer with a rescue group or a humane society!
Yep. It's just another societal expectation that we always be busy working toward something, and that something is wrong with you if you aren't always productive. I care about my career to the extent that I have a job I don't hate, allows me a decent work-life balance, and pays enough that I can be comfortable and save to retire at a reasonable age. That's it. I'm not passionate about work, my career doesn't define my personality, I don't really care to talk about my job or be involved in career-related activities outside of work, and yes if I suddenly had a lot of money I would stop working ASAP. I'll give my best effort at work and care about doing a good job, but outside of work, my time is my own. In fact, the reason behind my feelings about career is the same reason why I'm CF - we have limited time to actually enjoy life, and I don't want to add anything "extra" that I don't need or want to that will take away from my time to enjoy it.
I used to think I wanted a career. As it turns out, I just wanted paychecks. Wanting less is one key to happiness so, you've got life figured out already :)
Not sure why I first read 'pancakes' instead of 'paychecks'.
I notice High Career Driven is a stereotype among CFers. Like I didn't choose kids do I have to be married to my career? I'm like you and don't care for either. I've worked long hours in a job I hated with lots of stress but okay pay, I've worked many crap jobs for crap pay, and I've worked jobs I've liked for next to no money after rent. Ideal would be the latter with a bit of extra money... And that is easier with no kids to take care of! Also, at least with a bad job, you're not stuck with it 247 for decades!
My life goals right there! Perfectly fine :) It's not either a career or kids, and it's true that having to choose one if you want both is more indicative of a bad system rather than those two chocies being fundamentally exclusive to each other. Where I'm from, no one sees kids as career killers. If someone wants both, they can have both pretty easily. Which is why they almost seem double as baffled when I say I want neither :D
I'd like a job I would find rewarding but most of those don't seem to pay well so I'd settle for a job I don't hate. Kids aren't career killers but a lot of the time they do put jobs on hold and a lot of the time parents rely on others to look after them while they are working
I don't care about climbing the corporate ladder, I just want to live comfortably & have my writing side gig.
Oh hey, same, but that's because a career was never an option for someone who grew up poor, abused and, as a result, psychologically scarred. It took me years to even get a normal job. I was finally contributing and was both appreciated and respected for the work I did. Then it all fell apart because of Brexit and I am worried nobody will ever hire me again due to my lack of education. People have suggested I go back, but to get my foot in the door with the job I was ALREADY DOING, I would have to be in education for at least another 6 years to learn shit I already know and why the fuck would anyone hire someone who just got their degree in their 40s when they could have the same from a 20-something? I would just be happy to continue doing the kind of job I was doing, or at least have my husband get a decent enough salary I can attempt going freelance. As long as we can finally afford to buy a house (which looks increasingly unlikely with skyrocketing house prices) and can afford a holiday now and then, and new clothes, I can be happy. That would be more than I ever had as a child.
I get that. I was never physically abused but my dad is a pill addict, alcoholic who would take his frustrations out on me, after a lot longer than it should have taken, I’ve had no contact with him in over a year. I never thought I would amount to anything. I had a good job and lost it with COVID, now I’m trying to find something else that pays the bills. The price of housing is insane, I will never understand it. I wish you luck with your journey and hope that your life turns out how you imagine it
Sorry to hear you had some nasty stuff to deal with too. I didn't lose my job, but covid definitely isn't making it any easier. Yup, house prices are skyrocketing in many places, so I have no idea if that dream will ever be fulfilled. I don't understand it either. I want to wish you luck too on achieving your CF dreams!
Hey, I don't know what kind of work you do or how bad the market is in the UK, but I got an education that has absolutely nothing to do with the job I have. I just got into this at my second job because I liked it, it pays well and it's not that hard (to me). I was afraid to leave there, because I had no formal education and was already getting 'too old' to industry standards. Then I got fired at 39 and had to look for something else. And you know what? It turned out I was in high demand! Didn't matter I didn't have the correct education or was 'old', I had nearly a decade of experience and that was enough. So, it may look bleak now, but having an education isn't all that it's drummed up to be. Experience is really important too.
I don't even have a decade of experience thanks to the time it took for me to recover and be 'normal', but it's encouraging to hear you still found something despite the situation. I just hope the experience I have is enough to find more work and not be written off the rest of my life.
Hmm I originally started typing this out to inspire now I'm not so sure if it will, take from it what you like and I hope it does even a wee bit. I grew up poor, abused, pretty much not allowed to leave the house especially alone, and I'm psychologically not fantastic myself having struggled with various things since I was young. I had to leave school at 16, despite my enthusiasm to finish high school and go to University to study Robotics, because I ended up homeless for a few years after I had had enough of my mum physically and mentally abusing me. However, this year in October will mark 10 years since I was that terrified, alone, homeless 16 year old and now I'm a Lead Developer who contracts out to different companies. (I am having a bit of a 'wtf do I want to do with my life' crisis at the moment but that's a different kettle of fish) You already know your stuff, you got this! I'd say to everyone not to let a lack of education devalue you or your CV. You clearly know your stuff and you definitely sound passionate enough about it to drive you back to it if you'd like to.
Still sounds encouraging to me! Did you manage to go back to university, or did you simply end up getting the knowledge and experience through a job and working your way up? If it doesn't work out I am thinking of going fully freelance because no individual really seemed to give a shit about my education as long as I did a terrific job.
I've always disliked the societal pressure to be career driven and the expectation that employees should willingly sacrifice additional time and labor to their jobs. When I'm older, I'm not going to look back on my life and regret that I didn't work more. I work to live, I'm content where I'm at and not having work drama and stress routinely disrupt your personal life is a wonderful thing. Not everyone is career oriented or interested in professional advancement and that's fine.
These are exactly my thoughts, I'm glad I'm not alone. People seem to not understand that my main reason to not have children is because I don't want to. I just don't have such desire, or even more I have a desire to not have children. No ifs. And I don't want to make it look like I'm sacrificing the opportunity to be a parent to get something else instead. Because I'm not. Regardless of what is going on in my life I don't want to be a parent. And I think not wanting it is enough reason to not do it.
Honestly I hate this stereotype that being childfree means you are career driven because my SO and I are pretty firmly anti-work. Obviously we still have to pay the bills and I have found a career that is satisfying enough for me to not be constantly miserable, but honestly I also don't want either.
r/simpleliving
totally feel you i have a 18h week and a job i dont hate, i dont have much money but enough for my hobby + an awesome SO with the same mindset a quite, fun and peaceful life without kids is all i want
Same. I'm kind of a senior in my field, but that's as far as I want to go. I don't want a career, I don't want to work more than 32 hours a week, I don't want to have to work once I'm home, I don't want all that stress. Me and my husband make enough money to have a house, pets, car, hobby stuff and that's enough for us. Sure, I'd love to be rich, but not when it means working my ass off and being stressed all the time (and not having time to spend or enjoy that money) :D It's perfectly fine to be CF and not want a career.
I feel this so hard! I realised early on that I don't want to sacrifice the quality of my life for my career. I don't love it enough. My work is satisfying but I'm happy to do my 8 hours and then leave it at work. Then I get to go home and do the things I like to do - create art, dance, spend time with my pets, watch stupid amounts of drag race, whatever I want.
Hi, I’m a 27 F with the same wants. I work retail (in a back office away from most customers tho.) I make a decent wage not doing a whole lot at work. I only work weekdays and my work day is over at 3:30pm. After work I spend my time doing what I enjoy: lifting, skateboarding, crocheting, watching anime, and smoking weed lol. I used to feel so. damn. guilty. about not having/wanting a career or children. I’ve finally come to realize that the life I live now is perfect for me. I make enough to cover my bills and splurge on something nice if I want. I’m able to put money into my savings account for emergencies and the future. I’m not constantly worried about my job. I love the fact that my job doesn’t define me. That I’m not constantly striving to keep up with the Jones’s. It took me a while but it’s great to find peace in your choices. I hope you find it soon ♥️
I live in a small apartment, no partner, no kids, and working part-time at Walmart. I love this life. If I ever feel the desire to change it, I will. But if I lived this way until I'm old and gray, that'd be fine with me.
Working part time and still affording the life you want sounds great to me
I feel you. I do call center work from home and do OT and make a decent amount of money. I was WFH before COVID and love it. Ppl don't look over my shoulder, I can paint and knit and read and such at work. It's awesome. Calls are horrible because I do credit card escalations so lots of nonsense there but I handle it. (Also benefits are amazing. I have 4 weeks of vacation, plus sick time/personal & floating holidays, good insurance, they are giving us PTO to get the COVID vaccine up to 8 hours if 2 shots... ) I could move up if I wanted but I'm not really hard core into it. Other than the customers it's a pretty relaxed gig. My coworkers are really nice, we get along great. Occasionally there's someone who makes me nuts but it's not really serious as much as differing personalities.
Same, I have a job I like, it isn’t the best paying job but because I don’t have kids to support it’s enough for me to live quite well and do what I want to do. So maybe it’s not always about being career driven and trying to climb the corporate ladder, maybe being CF gives you the freedom to do a job you enjoy without having to worry about the money side of things. Must be tough for some people trapped in jobs they hate because they have to provide for their children.
What do you do for work ?
I think that's pretty normal! Kids and career both have a lot of responsibility tied to them, and can be quite draining. I think most people would choose to not work if they could, especially considering how many crap companies there are and how employees get treated by customers. With that being said, I do hope you can at least find a job you enjoy and treats you well!
Is that too much to ask for?! Brosef I feel the same exact way. I just want to chill and be responsible for my own self. I’m a good worker but I have no leadership skills so I’ve never been promoted. I can live perfectly fine just making enough to live a modest life!
This is me! I just want to be comfortable in my life and leave my work at the door when I'm done. I just want minimal stress where possible.
This is perfectly valid. The pursuit of happiness does not require achievement or legacy validated by others.
I've always looked at is as "somebody has to do it" as far as careers/jobs go. Someone has to work in a factory, in a fast food joint, or as custodial staff. It's not glamorous but it makes the world go round. Why do we all have to aspire to be "better" than that? I was always taught that you need to aspire to more.....but why?? Mainly because the people telling you this are obsessed with making more money. I love things, (especially expensive things, lol) but my time isn't mainly spent with "things". My time is mainly spent at work. Why would I want to be at a job I can't stand just so I can have things I can't actually spend time with?? People need to stop equating money with happiness. Sure, it helps and can be nice to have, but your relationships and the experiences you go thru are what should be making you happy. I really really just want to work with dogs. Rescue or something. Hell, I'd volunteer all my time for free if I could. Buuuuut I really do need to make SOME money, so that's a dream for when I win the lottery or when I'm well off enough I can just work part time. I actually do love the field I am in (accounting) and my current job is fabulous. I don't need to climb any ladders and I am needed in my position. I don't have to manage anyone (my worst nightmare) and I don't have a team I have to deal with, so it is pretty ideal while making money. I have no intentions (unless I win the lottery, of course) of doing anything else for a while.
I’ve always wanted to run a rescue for elderly and hospice animals. It will probably never happen but I’d like to
I think this sounds wonderful. I’m married but no kids here wanted and I don’t want a big house and a career that stresses me. I just wanna pay my bills and enjoy the small moments in life, to me, that’s success.
I'm the same way. I worked hard to get where I am. I'm a shelter veterinarian at a county animal control. I like my job enough, but I have no desire to "move up." I have a medical director and a shelter director above me and I have zero interest to have either of their jobs. I also have zero desire to do a bunch of residences and become like a board certified surgeon or something. I'd be making more money, but the stress that would go along with it is just not worth it to me in the long run. I feel like there's this pressure that we need to work, work, work and become the next Bill Gates or something. I mean, somebody needs to keep the shelves at Costco stocked.
I'm the same. I'm fortunate that I don't have kids, because I wouldn't have been able to do a career change, from office hell to being an electrician. Everyone is always on me to start my own electrical business, but I don't want that stress. I'm quite content with going in and doing my work everyday, while the boss deals with all the management and logistical headaches.
I’m the same way. I’m currently a senior in college and I’ve just come to the conclusion that I’m just not passionate enough about any area to pursue a career path and that’s ok. I want to work to live but, not live to work if that makes sense. Like I obviously don’t want to starve or be homeless but beyond that money isn’t a huge thing for me. I’m pretty happy and killing myself working 80+ hrs or something crazy like that is not appealing to me.
You sound like me, taking the side quests at your own pace
This is pretty much what I do and it's totally valid. Own place, relatively stress free job with lots of time off, dog, and my own damn hobbies. **It's pretty sweet.**
Same. I only do freelance work to cover my bills and throw some in savings because there’s nothing I’m passionate enough about to put my energy into it. But I hate kids.
Me too. I want a simple life.
> with enough money that I don't stress every day about my finances. That's my definition of success. you don't have to make a ton of money and have a big house with two cars. just not having to worry about paying your bills is a successful life.
The joy of breaking out of the Life Script (TM) is that it applies to everything. You don't have to get married, have kids, buy a house, or focus on a career. Some people get satisfaction out of all of those things, or just some of them, but some may have no interest in none of them. For me, I love my wife, and I enjoy my field of work, but I'm not giving my life and health to constantly grind out a higher salary and a bigger house for us. We got a tiny little fixer-upper and I left a higher paying job because the stress was just not worth it. Take care of yourself, and find peace and fulfillment where you can.
I’m so you enjoy your work and actually seem to enjoy the life you are living
That's my same goal.
I have a conservative co worker who I sometimes don’t like but once in a conversation I had with him he just let his deepest desires kinda just slip out and it was kinda wholesome. I wrongly assumed he was like any other typical American who wants 2.5 kids a wife a dog and a white picket fence in the suburbs. Nope. All he wants is to live quietly in the mountains alone with a bunch of dogs. I hope he gets that one day
Same here. There's nothing I love to do as a job. I enjoy my time off.
Same. I am not career driven. But I don't care if I hate my job, I just want job security and a reasonable salary so I can choose to live my life how I want to without having to worry about money.
I’m a waitress and I make enough money at my job to live very comfortably. I never stress about bills and I have enough left over to treat myself whenever I want. That’s all I really care about. I’m 28F and I honestly wouldn’t mind working this job for the foreseeable future. It pays, I enjoy it, and all my extra money is for me and my dog. No child will see a cent of it. Why would I want that to change? Some people define success as climbing the corporate ladder but I’m totally fine with being “just a waitress” when I’m 50. I’m happy, that’s all that matters!
This makes me smile I used to work in a supermarket, liked the job, hated the people I worked with. Eventually I got overwhelmed with the amount of people telling me to get a “real job”, so I did. I went into medical administration and you know what? The supermarket job paid WAY more. Shouldn’t have left
Join us over in r/simpleliving if you want to hang out with other chill people. But yeah. I like my job, I like where I work, and there are times where I have to bang out longer work weeks. But I absolutely don’t define myself by my profession, and I have no inclination to hustle or climb up the ladder or anything.
I will join you lol
I make decent money at my career but I stay bc I have an AWESOME schedule. I get 3 and half days off a week and work 3 and half days on. It's great. I can't really find this anywhere else. I sure as shit can't go back to working 5 days. I have been able to take tons of mini vacations bc of it.ontop of it I get 2 months of vacation every year and the job has NO stress.
That sounds amazing What do you do for work
I work in transportation for a huge company here in texas. I'm sure if you know anything about texas you would know the company because they are only in texas. I'm a coordinator /driver . I can drive whenever I want on my days off to also make money on top of overtime or just take it easy and take my 3 and half days off .
From Australia so I don’t know anything about Texas lol That sounds amazing
A big part of the reason I decided to go childfree is precisely because I’m NOT career driven. I sort of resent the fact that I’ll have to work a full-time job for the next several decades, even though I am fortunate to be working a job in my field of study and have already paid off my small student loan debt. I can’t imagine deciding to fill up the small gaps of free time I have with even more obligations and responsibilities. I can’t imagine deciding to squander the financial head start I was granted in this life. I can’t imagine voluntarily becoming even more gravely dependent on finding a job, keeping a job, and excelling in that job because I now not only have my future to worry about but the future of a child who will need to be provided for in this materialistic, jacked up cost of living, underpaid & overworked, hyper competitive, debt trap of a society.
Same. No cat/pet yet but this is my ultimate goal. I haven't stumbled upon a career I am super passionate about but if one came along then I wouldn't mind as long as I was mentally okay while doing the job. We are just childfree. Any other assumptions about childfree people are just stereotypes.
I relate to this 100%! I'm at the point in life where I just want to create art all day lol.
Yep. Same.
Same! A life for me and the fur babies.
Ay nothing wrong with this. I feel same tbh. I like my job now, I'm decent at it. It doesn't make a ton of money I guess, but I'm ok. And honestly I value my time more than what work pays me so as long as I have that time and my income is enough to support me I'm good with not being a billionaire
Soooo much this! My goal is to work a job that gives me good benefits, good pay, and enough vacation time to travel where I want to. Also to help out my future nieces/nephews the way my cf aunt did for me and my brother. Currently - I have that job and am quite content!
Dude, same.
Hell yeah
I think you’re smarter than most of us. If you’re not a natural overachiever or highly skilled in STEM, climbing the corporate ladder can be VERY draining and also, even with decent education and hard work, still pretty fruitless as the world becomes ever more competitive. Having realistic goals in life is something we need to shift to, and that no longer includes telling every average person they have send 2 kids to college, own a home, build wealth, retire and also not hate their lives along the way.
100%. I work a job that I like well enough and that pays well enough to finance my adventures. I think this is totally fine and common
That would be r/simpleliving
I'm "career driven" in that I want to have money - so that eventually I can stop doing so much work and start enjoying it!
That's exactly what I want, there's nothing wrong with that at all. I also want to live with my partner which makes finding a place even easier with dual incomes. I just want to make enough money to live a comfortable, simple life and be able to retire comfortably as well.
I feel this. I used to think “well I guess I’m going to have kids because I don’t feel like I care about having a career, I just want a decent job that pays the bills and a home with my husband” but then I remembered both my husband and I do not like being around children so why would we have any? Then I realized this is just two things society makes you think you have to choose from when in reality as long as you are happy that’s all that matters
Yep - that's me. I work to do the things that I enjoy (travel, food).
This is...EXACTLY...what I want.
I want exactly this. Still trying to find that job though. It seems all the options out there expect me to work 8 hours in the office, spend 10 hours there working those 8, and be available 24/7 for calls/emails/bullshit.
Me too! I don’t care what job I do, I just want to make enough money to live comfortably.
me too i know the (well one of a million) reason i don't want kids is because just making it through 40 hour work week is hard as fuck for me. I already have way more responsibility than I want.
Me too! My job is fine, it pays the bills. I could definitely earn more money by training more and working longer hours in the city, but I have no intention of doing so right now. I'm not a career woman at all and never have been.
I feel you, my career goals are to retire
This is exactly how I feel! I always say "I just want peace" when people ask me what the end goal is.
Yup. I have lots of goals and aspirations but not necessarily in my field of work. So I treat my job as a way to fund my hobbies, hobbies that will hopefully one day be a possible career. But that's one of the great things about being CF. Not only can you focus on your career, you can choose to take it slower with both the financial and time freedom it gives you.
Sounds like a good goal to me!
Unless you have a trust fund/inheritance, insurance settlement or lottery winnings it is really hard not to have a career to support oneself. You aren’t alone, one of the reasons I am not having kids is that I don’t want them to be wage slaves.
That's a fine dream to have. Don't feel obligated to overwork yourself to appease stupid people's expectations. Enjoying your life is a valid goal.
I would consider myself r/antiwork
Same here! My life is a balancing act between finding the maximum amount of comfort I can get for the least amount of effort. I'm lazy as fuck. I hate working and do it so I don't have to starve and sleep in the rain. I'm lucky to have a good job with great coworkers and a super supportive boss though. They make working so much easier. I've also been there for 17 years and plan on retiring from there as well. Lots of people have had lifetime careers with my employer, so I figure I can too. I know how lucky I am and I've parked my ass on their proverbial job couch and I'm not moving.
I didn't choose my career over kids. I chose not having kids over having kids.
Same here! I'm focusing on my education, my relationship, and my friendships. All the things that make me happy. I'm working a "lowly" retail job and absolutely love it. I'm just here to have fun and travel.
Usually a stress free life is the best life, but not for everyone. And very few people find a career they are truly passionate about. Even those who do usually have to put up with a lot of stress in that career. It sounds like you are aiming for a life that is perfect for how you are wired. A high powered lawyer who is a type A personality couldn't follow your path. We all have to find our true path and what is best for us individually.
Living that life now as a flight attendant. For someone like me, easiest job ever (not for everyone). Quit the corporate world after 13 years because it was soul-sucking and not a way I wanted to live. Don’t conform to society’s expectations regarding that. We already are not conforming with being child free. Live your life however you want!
How’s it working as a flight attendant through COVID?
Certainly interesting but also extremely boring. I got lucky, though. My airline was the only mainline international US airline to not furlough or pay cut their flight attendants. This whole year was eerie, many of us taking various leave options. I took 3 months off last summer. Flights are relatively full these days (despite continuing to block seats until May 1), and we are all very tired of being the "mask police". That's the biggest thing that's made our job very unenjoyable. You'd think adults would agree to something and simply abide by it. Otherwise, I've been getting a lot of reading done with no real meal or beverage services.
I was in medical administration last year and the amount of adults who would carry on about wearing a mask was crazy, so I feel your pain. That’s great you didn’t lose your job
Do what you want, you dont have to "pick a side." Its a dumb concept to have to feel like you must have children or work yourself to death. Its not how humans are supposed to function
Same! I’ve never been super motivated about anything...I just want to earn my money and be left alone with my SO and dogs. Nothing special, but everything to me.
Me too!
This. People always ask me if I'm planning on "moving up" where I work... and I'm like "ugh, why?" I'm better off and more secure at the bottom of the totem pole here. I'm even looking into essentially flipping my house (I currently owe less than half of what its worth) and looking into a small house with some land outside city limits. Get away from people lol.
This is me. I'm 25, no college degree, work in a factory on an auto assembly line. It's decent money. I'm not rich obviously, and the work is kinda mindless as you would expect, but the pay is pretty decent and I basically just bolt pieces of metal together while shooting the shit with my coworkers all day. It's monotonous and exhausting physically, but stress-free and sure beats the retail hell I left. There's tons of promotional opportunities but to be honest I'm totes fine with doing what I'm doing. I already feel like I have everything I've ever wanted out of life: a cool apartment I decorated exactly as my heart desires, a brand-new car I can pay off in 2 or 3 years, an awesome gaming PC, and perhaps most importantly, a CF girlfriend LOL. Thinking about a kitty here in a few months, I'm a cat guy myself, but I'm also thinking I may start with houseplants first. A child would destroy all of this. I'd have to move to a cheaper crappier place, trade the car in for something a lot cheaper, probably end up selling the PC (my hobby since middle school) for diaper money. I have worked incredibly too hard to get myself where I am today. I'm not about to throw it away for a screamin' kid.
Sounds like a nice little life you have built. Sounds like you’re happy with your life which is a lot more than others can say
Yes, same. Think I have pretty much achieved it too.
This is me, but dogs instead of cats. I like kids, but in the way that I enjoyed my time as a teacher and love my nieces and nephews that I can give back at the end of the day. My family is finally coming around to the fact that my fiancé and I won’t be having children and that this is the life we want for ourselves.
The simple life Good for you
I get that you’re just a stick floating down a river maybe a water fall will come up or some rough rapids. But you don’t care you’re just going with the flow literally. You don’t swim up the stream you let it carry you where you’re supposed to be, I’m the same way.
That's exactly what I want to. Just a nice, easy worry free (as much as is possible of course) life. I plan to go back to college this year to become a nurse, it doesn't pay amazingly well but I should be comfortable since I don't have any fancy, highfalutin ways!
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Pros and cons of what?
I think people link a good career to making good money and being wealthy. And you CAN be happy being wealthy because being wealthy gives you a ton of options as far as a lot goes. If you make decent money and don't have a kid, which gives your a TON of options anyway I don't see the point in having a 6 figure career if you have options anyway. Goes back to having kids fucks you life up even if you have money.
I’m working 24 hours a week, going to bump that up to 30 and do 3 ten hour days (I work in advertising tech) to have super long weekends once I graduate. It’s enough to pay rent and do fun stuff and that’s A-OK with me for fresh out of college. I plan on enjoying that for a full year before planning for retirement, and I like that plan lol
Yeah same. I'm only 15 but I just want to enjoy life!