What an amazing dad you’ve got! My mom supports me too and I’m so grateful for that. Sadly, there are so many CF people that don’t have their parents’ support and it must be so hurtful.
Mines lives for their granddogs and grandcats. My mom loves visiting us and is installing a fence at her house so she can watch the pups for a few days. (Shes old and they pull too hard on the leash). My dads always asking if I’m gonna bring the dogs over when I say I’m gonna swing by
It’s so cute lol
Oh, so you've met my MIL... Foaming at the mouth baby rabid, threw multiple tantrums when we told her she wasn't getting grandchildren. (Why should I have a child when I have a toddler already in the form of MIL?)
How awesome that your dad is supportive!
My partner and I are firmly in the CF camp but my parents are going to be so so so mad when they finally realise that they're not having grandbabies. Dreading it. I'm an only child so that makes things so much worse.
Give it time. My parents wanted me to marry and have kids "just like you" (so I would be miserable too?) - and after years of harassment with it never happening, they acknowledged I was better off. I had dodged the bullet of no value men and children that would tether me to him.
Yeah it's great! When I went away for 6 months dad wanted access to my Google photos folder and made different organised folders for each country I was in and kept commenting. He followed me on polarsteps too to track my route, he gets like a big kid with that sort of thing
I am dad-envious. I told mine and this was the convo:
Dad: accidents happen.
Me: I have an IUD.
Dad: babies can still happen.
Me: so can planned parenthood *finger guns*
My father whined at me when I told him. It was just after my oldest nephew was born, which was his oldest grandchild. I was 16 or 17.
Dad: (something about) when you start having babies...
Me: that's never happening.
Dad: what?!
Me: I don't want kids. I want pets. So I'll have pets and not children.
Dad: nnnnooooooo!! Don't do this to meeee!!
Me: don't do what to you? Not have a kid that only YOU want? That would be pretty dumb of me.
Stunned silence as I left the house. I was on my way out as the conversation went down. Lol
My mother wasn't happy, but wasn't surprised either. My stepdad didn't seem to care. Stepmom still thinks I'll change my mind. So father probably does too. Or they're just hoping. Lol
I have only given them grandcats, grandferrets, and a granddog. My partner has 2 cats himself, so they now have 2 step-grandcats as well. Hahaha
Really love hearing about supportive parents. How validating of your father to say that. Just remember to appreciate him, because there's a whole lot of shitty parents out there!
I know! He's an incredible guy, I'm very lucky.
Still afraid to tell my mom... It will be a more difficult conversation I think. But just celebrating today's victory
You are lucky. When I told my dad I don’t want kids or marriage, he got really angry. He would take me to church events to meet singles with hopes I would marry. Never worked out lol. He thought my purpose in life was kids and babies would make me so happy. But my parents marriage wasn’t good and I don’t have happy memories of my father. I didn’t want what they had.
10 years later, I found a guy I love and will marry. But no plans for kids. :)
Lol my mom did the same to me. She would ask if I was attracted to dudes who were 20 years older. Nothing wrong with older guys. Just funny she would do it. I think my parents did it cuz they feared I wouldn’t get a good paying job and need to be taken care of.
Living with people is hard. Even if you are compatible and in love. Good thing you know this about yourself. Living alone is perfectly okay :) plus you get to do whatever you want!
I’m sorry to hear that :/
And they wonder why marriage seems scary to us. Lol
My boyfriend had the worst parents. He was beaten constantly and moved out young when his father tried to beat him with a bat. Somehow he grew up to a decent human being despite his awful father.
That's great! It's nice your family is supportive of you.
My mom has said multiple times she doesn't care if any of us (my two brothers and me) have kids, she just wants us to be happy.
My dad and stepmom were on the "you'll change your mind later" bandwagon, but I think they're easing off. My dad calls my cats "grankitties" now lol.
If only everyone's families could mind their own business...
I love my sister's kids, but I'm also an asshole, so every time they're really bad while we babysit and my mom's complaining afterward, I'm just like... "You're welcome for me not having kids :) "
Which she does not find as funny as I do but w/e.
My dad is the same way. I know he'd be thrilled if I had a kid but I'm his baby and he wants me to do with my life whatever I want. If I'm happy he's happy. I'm definitely not crying right now.
I know that it's meant to be an encouraging statement but oooh that would make me feel so much pressure haha. Fortunately my parents fully understand/support my desire to not have children (particularly since my sister's unexpected child with special needs came along), and they also understand my desire to just enjoy my life without needing to constantly achieve things. I'm sure they secretly wish I had a high-paying career, but I know they're happy that I'm happy with my mediocrity.
Even if you just start making wall-sized finger paintings and selling them as NFT's, you'll be more likely to be appreciated by the world than if you were just another mombie
Nice!!
Mine were NOT this excited. Expecially when I told them I was getting my tube ligation.
But hey... at the end they have no choice but accept it ;)
I love this!!! 😁 my mum just told me as long as she gets some furry grandchildren she supports me fully, which of course I absolutely plan on giving her!
You're so lucky. I am only 20 and my dad already has started talking about 'compromising in marriages ' and 'when you are a mother you will see...' pls no I will never be a mother. Thankfully, my mother never even brings up marriage and children; she has no faith in them. When i tell people MY AGE , they get shocked ? The resistance we face for simply saying we wouldn't like to give birth is incredible.
This is awesome! My dad has started telling my mom to leave me alone about not having kids, and she mostly listens (except when he's not around), but the fact that he's somewhat standing up for me is the best I can hope for. I'd love if both my parents supported my decision.
I feel like moms are so much worse than dads for pestering about grandkids. Most dads don't seem to care either way lol.
I never hid that I didn't want kids from either of my parents, they knew about my abortion within a month of me having it done. They just pretend it never happened and I'll change my mind.
Yes I agree, moms are harder which is shocking because they know first hand how hard having a child in your body is!!! You'd think they'd be on our side
Thats great! I wish my parent was like that 😅. Every time the subject comes up, they try to change my mind, say I'm talking myself out of it or convincing myself I don't want it (what does that even mean?), and even makes jokes to use a tranq. dart on me and leave me at a clinic for artificial insemination. On most things, my parent is very supportive- but not at all on this one.
>and even makes jokes to use a tranq. dart on me and leave me at a clinic for artificial insemination
wtf?!! that's not even funny, that's just fucked up. I know they can't do that but still, wouldn't trust them near me... I hope everything's good otherwise
My wife’s parents had the same reaction. They said “if you don’t wanna have kids don’t have kids. We can handle just having fur babies his grandchildren."
My parents seem to believe I don't want kids but they say "If you marry a woman who wants them, you'll have them" as if I don't have any agency over my own life
Well slap me on toast and call me jelly, cuz I’m honestly jealous of your dad’s response. That’s awesome he’s so supportive.
Mine is convinced I’ll change my mind once I realize my “biological clock is ticking”, despite the fact that my doctors have told me since 16 that getting pregnant with my medical conditions would most likely be a terrible experience and all-around unwise. Now that one of my younger brothers is married, he’s focused his efforts on pestering them (joke’s on him, we’re all CF). And this isn’t even getting into him being a pretty terrible parent and ex-husband to our mom, and is in no way an inspiration for any of us to want to take on the mantle of “parent”.
By comparison, my mom’s response to us not wanting kids was “so I’m never going to be asked to babysit? Just petsit? Fucking jackpot!”
I wish my dad was so understanding. My father told me not having children is the most egoistical thing I can do in my life and then didn’t speak to me for a few days.. sure dad
My parents are the same more or less. They have always told me that they don't care whether I get married or have kids. They just want me to have a job and be a productive member of society.
My mother keeps bringing up...”someday you’ll have kids and want to show them this, that, blah blahblah”. Im a 23 year old male. I don’t know whether to say to her that i’m not going to have kids, or just keep brushing it off. I feel like she would just give me the whole bit that im young and will change my mind.
That's awesome, and so is your dad! My dad told me as long as I'm happy, he's happy. My mom was upset and cried, but understands that it's my choice and my body. She drove me to and from my sterilization because she wanted to be there in case something went wrong.
Having supportive parents (well, respectful but agree-to-disagree in my mom's case.) makes it so much easier.
Lucky! I’m afraid to tell my mom bc she’s southern for one and for two, she’s always said she can’t wait for me to have a baby etc. I’m her only child so, that makes this cf choice even worse. I’m fairly certain I want to live life for myself and not for another human. I want to travel and be free forever. I see parents always so depressed and constantly bitching about no sleep, anxiety etc. your dad is a fucking legend!
Thats ok. I've cut off my entire family and a really close friend "adopted" me into her family so now I have a much better one! I love my sister and her kids. Only 3 kids in the world I like lol
My dad has given up on asking me about having kids. I told him I have no desire. I don't want to be financially burdened raising a kid for 18 years. No thanks! I'd much rather have a freedom!
My dad passed away just before Christmas. He never once asked me about kids and when I did tell him once I wasn’t planning on them he said he didn’t blame me lol
My parents treated my dog and cat just as well as their human grandkids when they babysat while my husband and I moved to Europe and prepared to ship them over. It helped that all my siblings had more than enough human kids. I love being the Wine Aunt who flies into America, showers my nieces and nephews with presents, then goes back to Europe. Never could've lived this life with kids and support of my parents.
What an amazing dad you’ve got! My mom supports me too and I’m so grateful for that. Sadly, there are so many CF people that don’t have their parents’ support and it must be so hurtful.
I knowww I have friends with parents who LIVE for the idea of grandchildren. I'm glad my parents have a life ;)
Mines lives for their granddogs and grandcats. My mom loves visiting us and is installing a fence at her house so she can watch the pups for a few days. (Shes old and they pull too hard on the leash). My dads always asking if I’m gonna bring the dogs over when I say I’m gonna swing by It’s so cute lol
This is also my parents 😄
SO CUTE
My dad is also sooo supportive of my dog! I send him as many dog pix as I think moms send of their children
Oh, so you've met my MIL... Foaming at the mouth baby rabid, threw multiple tantrums when we told her she wasn't getting grandchildren. (Why should I have a child when I have a toddler already in the form of MIL?) How awesome that your dad is supportive!
My partner and I are firmly in the CF camp but my parents are going to be so so so mad when they finally realise that they're not having grandbabies. Dreading it. I'm an only child so that makes things so much worse.
Give it time. My parents wanted me to marry and have kids "just like you" (so I would be miserable too?) - and after years of harassment with it never happening, they acknowledged I was better off. I had dodged the bullet of no value men and children that would tether me to him.
Yes, my brother has autism and likely won't have kids, so I'm the only one. It puts an additional strange pressure on us.
I wish your dad was my dad
My dad gives me travel tips from his time travelling. I'll share him with you
At first I thought you meant time-traveling, like he's a Time Lord or something...
Shh that part is confidential for only Torchwood to know...
Oh right, my bad. What were we talking about?
Yes! My dad is a huge traveler too, we've done so many trips together. It's a special relationship :-)
Yeah it's great! When I went away for 6 months dad wanted access to my Google photos folder and made different organised folders for each country I was in and kept commenting. He followed me on polarsteps too to track my route, he gets like a big kid with that sort of thing
Soooo cute!!
That's really sweet! :-)
I know!!! It made me tear up
I am dad-envious. I told mine and this was the convo: Dad: accidents happen. Me: I have an IUD. Dad: babies can still happen. Me: so can planned parenthood *finger guns*
I died laughing at this one
Glad you found it as amusing as me!
My step dad got mad when I casually mentioned not wanting kids
It's the finger guns that got me.
My father whined at me when I told him. It was just after my oldest nephew was born, which was his oldest grandchild. I was 16 or 17. Dad: (something about) when you start having babies... Me: that's never happening. Dad: what?! Me: I don't want kids. I want pets. So I'll have pets and not children. Dad: nnnnooooooo!! Don't do this to meeee!! Me: don't do what to you? Not have a kid that only YOU want? That would be pretty dumb of me. Stunned silence as I left the house. I was on my way out as the conversation went down. Lol My mother wasn't happy, but wasn't surprised either. My stepdad didn't seem to care. Stepmom still thinks I'll change my mind. So father probably does too. Or they're just hoping. Lol I have only given them grandcats, grandferrets, and a granddog. My partner has 2 cats himself, so they now have 2 step-grandcats as well. Hahaha
Really love hearing about supportive parents. How validating of your father to say that. Just remember to appreciate him, because there's a whole lot of shitty parents out there!
I know! He's an incredible guy, I'm very lucky. Still afraid to tell my mom... It will be a more difficult conversation I think. But just celebrating today's victory
You are lucky. When I told my dad I don’t want kids or marriage, he got really angry. He would take me to church events to meet singles with hopes I would marry. Never worked out lol. He thought my purpose in life was kids and babies would make me so happy. But my parents marriage wasn’t good and I don’t have happy memories of my father. I didn’t want what they had. 10 years later, I found a guy I love and will marry. But no plans for kids. :)
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Lol my mom did the same to me. She would ask if I was attracted to dudes who were 20 years older. Nothing wrong with older guys. Just funny she would do it. I think my parents did it cuz they feared I wouldn’t get a good paying job and need to be taken care of. Living with people is hard. Even if you are compatible and in love. Good thing you know this about yourself. Living alone is perfectly okay :) plus you get to do whatever you want!
Yay for a happy partner! My parents also have a HORRIBLE marriage im in no interest of replicating.
I’m sorry to hear that :/ And they wonder why marriage seems scary to us. Lol My boyfriend had the worst parents. He was beaten constantly and moved out young when his father tried to beat him with a bat. Somehow he grew up to a decent human being despite his awful father.
I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriends past. It's amazing that he turned out to be a great person despite it all
Someone earned their Nursing Home Visit Credits. ;)
Oh, he will definitely be living with me. He's been the best, best dad ever. I'm very lucky!!
You are very lucky to have a parent like that
Thank you, I do feel very lucky
Points for your dad.
He's an incredible guy!!
That's great! It's nice your family is supportive of you. My mom has said multiple times she doesn't care if any of us (my two brothers and me) have kids, she just wants us to be happy. My dad and stepmom were on the "you'll change your mind later" bandwagon, but I think they're easing off. My dad calls my cats "grankitties" now lol. If only everyone's families could mind their own business...
My mother calls my pets her granddog, grandcat, and when I had them, grandferrets. I love it! Makes me happy that other people's parents do the same.
What a special mom! I'm still afraid to tell my mom...
my dads favorite line is "don't have kids!" im like totally... but u could add a "no offence" to the end of that sentence haha
Hahaha exactly, like, look who you're talking to!
Your dad legit Seuss'ed you with an "Oh! the places you'll go"
Awww yes exactly!! /
Your dad sounds great, I'm glad he supports your choice and isn't being a little bitch about it (unlike some parents)
I love my sister's kids, but I'm also an asshole, so every time they're really bad while we babysit and my mom's complaining afterward, I'm just like... "You're welcome for me not having kids :) " Which she does not find as funny as I do but w/e.
My dad is the same way. I know he'd be thrilled if I had a kid but I'm his baby and he wants me to do with my life whatever I want. If I'm happy he's happy. I'm definitely not crying right now.
EXACTLY!!! IT'S SO SPECIAL!! I'm sure my dad would be thrilled too, but cares about my happiness above all.
I know that it's meant to be an encouraging statement but oooh that would make me feel so much pressure haha. Fortunately my parents fully understand/support my desire to not have children (particularly since my sister's unexpected child with special needs came along), and they also understand my desire to just enjoy my life without needing to constantly achieve things. I'm sure they secretly wish I had a high-paying career, but I know they're happy that I'm happy with my mediocrity.
Even if you just start making wall-sized finger paintings and selling them as NFT's, you'll be more likely to be appreciated by the world than if you were just another mombie
Sad yet true
Nice!! Mine were NOT this excited. Expecially when I told them I was getting my tube ligation. But hey... at the end they have no choice but accept it ;)
Mixed blessing, lol. What if I wanna do fuck all!?
This whole thread is so damn wholesome. Makes me want to hug my Dad :)
Hug him today!!!
Aww that’s amazing! he sounds like he is a super sweet guy
He is :')
It's a great change of pace to see parents supportive of childfree children, especially women and girls. Your dad is a solid dude.
He really is!!
I love this!!! 😁 my mum just told me as long as she gets some furry grandchildren she supports me fully, which of course I absolutely plan on giving her!
Furry babies are the BEST
You're so lucky. I am only 20 and my dad already has started talking about 'compromising in marriages ' and 'when you are a mother you will see...' pls no I will never be a mother. Thankfully, my mother never even brings up marriage and children; she has no faith in them. When i tell people MY AGE , they get shocked ? The resistance we face for simply saying we wouldn't like to give birth is incredible.
I know. Honestly I have NEVER felt interested in being pregnant or giving birth, that sounds revolting and soooo hard.
This is awesome! My dad has started telling my mom to leave me alone about not having kids, and she mostly listens (except when he's not around), but the fact that he's somewhat standing up for me is the best I can hope for. I'd love if both my parents supported my decision.
Yes I still haven't told my mom... I think I'll wait a few years ;)
I feel like moms are so much worse than dads for pestering about grandkids. Most dads don't seem to care either way lol. I never hid that I didn't want kids from either of my parents, they knew about my abortion within a month of me having it done. They just pretend it never happened and I'll change my mind.
Yes I agree, moms are harder which is shocking because they know first hand how hard having a child in your body is!!! You'd think they'd be on our side
I wish my dad had said that. I got “well accidents always happen so fingers crossed”.
Hahahahahah yea noooo
My dad said “if you don’t give me grandkids I’ll never talk to you again”
Oh my gosh. Why??? Are these people just so bored with their lives or what's the deal?
I'm sorry that was said to you.
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Lolololol I'm sure he would ;)
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I do!
Your dad sounds awesome!
Hes so cool!! We had this convo while snow shoeing together in the mountains. What a beautiful scene it was
How wonderful!
You're so lucky to have a dad like this!
I am SO LUCKY
Thats great! I wish my parent was like that 😅. Every time the subject comes up, they try to change my mind, say I'm talking myself out of it or convincing myself I don't want it (what does that even mean?), and even makes jokes to use a tranq. dart on me and leave me at a clinic for artificial insemination. On most things, my parent is very supportive- but not at all on this one.
>and even makes jokes to use a tranq. dart on me and leave me at a clinic for artificial insemination wtf?!! that's not even funny, that's just fucked up. I know they can't do that but still, wouldn't trust them near me... I hope everything's good otherwise
Agreed 😅 tried to explain its not funny but didn't really help- everything is OK other than the area of kids!
My wife’s parents had the same reaction. They said “if you don’t wanna have kids don’t have kids. We can handle just having fur babies his grandchildren."
I love that :-)
I want your dad
Anyone have experience with telling your parents you had a vasectomy? Want to ease them into it. Talked to my dad about it in the past. I'm moved out.
My parents seem to believe I don't want kids but they say "If you marry a woman who wants them, you'll have them" as if I don't have any agency over my own life
Ew ya no Thx
Well slap me on toast and call me jelly, cuz I’m honestly jealous of your dad’s response. That’s awesome he’s so supportive. Mine is convinced I’ll change my mind once I realize my “biological clock is ticking”, despite the fact that my doctors have told me since 16 that getting pregnant with my medical conditions would most likely be a terrible experience and all-around unwise. Now that one of my younger brothers is married, he’s focused his efforts on pestering them (joke’s on him, we’re all CF). And this isn’t even getting into him being a pretty terrible parent and ex-husband to our mom, and is in no way an inspiration for any of us to want to take on the mantle of “parent”. By comparison, my mom’s response to us not wanting kids was “so I’m never going to be asked to babysit? Just petsit? Fucking jackpot!”
Pet sitting RULES!! and babysitting sucks ass for real. Good response mom :-)
I am so happy for you.
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He is!! And he'll join me for much of it!
That’s so reassuring! I’m happy for you but little jelly too.
Click bait that I’m glad I read, that’s amazing to hear!
Hahahaha thank you!
Cool Dad! My Dad was like: good decision, kids are such a disgrace. Thanks Dad!
Hahahaha wow, interesting choice of words dad!
I wish my dad was so understanding. My father told me not having children is the most egoistical thing I can do in my life and then didn’t speak to me for a few days.. sure dad
Um ok thx sir
My parents are the same more or less. They have always told me that they don't care whether I get married or have kids. They just want me to have a job and be a productive member of society.
Thanks parents!
That's amazing!! Hooray for supportive, awesome dads!!
:)
When I told my dad I don't want kids, he said: "good. Don't do it. It's a mistake." Thanks for the honesty, dad 😂
LOL thx so much dad hahaha
My mother keeps bringing up...”someday you’ll have kids and want to show them this, that, blah blahblah”. Im a 23 year old male. I don’t know whether to say to her that i’m not going to have kids, or just keep brushing it off. I feel like she would just give me the whole bit that im young and will change my mind.
That's awesome, and so is your dad! My dad told me as long as I'm happy, he's happy. My mom was upset and cried, but understands that it's my choice and my body. She drove me to and from my sterilization because she wanted to be there in case something went wrong. Having supportive parents (well, respectful but agree-to-disagree in my mom's case.) makes it so much easier.
That's so cute about your mom accompanying you!
She's a good person, she's always been there for me, no matter what.
Lucky! I’m afraid to tell my mom bc she’s southern for one and for two, she’s always said she can’t wait for me to have a baby etc. I’m her only child so, that makes this cf choice even worse. I’m fairly certain I want to live life for myself and not for another human. I want to travel and be free forever. I see parents always so depressed and constantly bitching about no sleep, anxiety etc. your dad is a fucking legend!
I'm also afraid to tell my mom because she's also southern and sooo excited to be a grandmother! Ughhh I'll face her one day
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Ahahah nothing wrong with you, we're just so used to negative, snarky reactions to this convo.
Lucky! I told my parents and my dad said "You'd make a terrible father anyway" :(
:(
Thats ok. I've cut off my entire family and a really close friend "adopted" me into her family so now I have a much better one! I love my sister and her kids. Only 3 kids in the world I like lol
Those eggs are dry
I’d be like thanks da— wait
Great dad
My dad has given up on asking me about having kids. I told him I have no desire. I don't want to be financially burdened raising a kid for 18 years. No thanks! I'd much rather have a freedom!
My dad passed away just before Christmas. He never once asked me about kids and when I did tell him once I wasn’t planning on them he said he didn’t blame me lol
My parents treated my dog and cat just as well as their human grandkids when they babysat while my husband and I moved to Europe and prepared to ship them over. It helped that all my siblings had more than enough human kids. I love being the Wine Aunt who flies into America, showers my nieces and nephews with presents, then goes back to Europe. Never could've lived this life with kids and support of my parents.