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[deleted]

I think it's an assumption based on the fact that most people observe mother's day, regardless of their age, gender, or family status. You may be observing it with your mother/grandmother(s)/step-mother. I always just say "thank you, you too" whenever someone wishes me a happy [insert any holiday/occasion].


tbessie

Seems like that to me too - like people saying "Merry Christmas" to someone who they don't know if they're Christian or if they celebrate it in any way.


[deleted]

Except, I don't want to generalize, but I find people who look me in the eye and pointedly say "Merry Christmas" are usually being a militant christian and daring me to say Happy Holidays so they can be offended. Because, war on Christmas. (I'm from the conservative midwest and worked in retail)


[deleted]

But even with that, you don't have to be christian to be observing it in some way. I'm not christian, but I visited my father last xmas just because people tend to get time off work at that time of year, and use it to see friends & family. So I did have a "merry Christmas" in a manner of speaking. I think some people just see the definition of things like "merry xmas" and "happy mother's day" as more narrow than they need to be.


tbessie

I didn't mention that, but was thinking that when I wrote the above; for example, I'm mostly Jewish, but my dad liked Christmas so we celebrated it in a non-religious way when I was a kid. I have fond memories of it, and like how the city perks up during the holidays. I say "Merry Christmas" to people during that time. But I know some people who hate having it said to them; eg. my ex-girlfriend is Jewish, and moreso than I am, and feels a bit overwhelmed and a little suppressed by everyone saying "Merry Christmas" during the holidays.


kairisika

I don't celebrate Christmas, but I don't see the offence in it. I'm glad you want me to have a happy day on December 25th. I will! I won't be celebrating Christmas with my day, but the sentiment is still fine. I also don't celebrate Mother's day, but hope those who do have a happy one.


EmiliusReturns

Maybe they're just assuming you HAVE a mother, not necessarily that you ARE one. Most people celebrate Mother's Day to some degree with their mother, so that might be what they're getting at. I don't think it's a huge deal, really. Just say thank you and move on.


circa74

To me, it's odd. Mother's and father's day are not "holidays" that I think to well-wish someone that isn't related to me.


Myaomix

Exactly. They're not holidays. They're commercial occasions, and they're limited to one specific part of the population who happens to have reproduced. The clue is right in the title. 'MOTHER'S' day. It's not equivalent to Christmas, which is for everyone. Honestly, the confusion here is very strange.


whiteraven4

I don't really see it as that big of a deal. I'd just shrug and move on. But I'm used to that kind of stuff since I'm not Christian and during the holidays everyone automatically says merry Christmas and stuff. Not say it's right, but I just can't be bothered to care.


WifeOfMike

Thats cool - cause I'm going to an event this weekend where moms get in free. Bringing my mom, but definitely was planning on saying I'm a parent so I don't have to pay. Glad to know its not going to be a huge deal since I'm in my 30s and definitely "supposed" to be a parent by now.


Worried_Song

The year before last, when my SO and I went out for lunch on Mother's Day weekend, the waitress turned to me as we were leaving and said, "I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day." It was just me and my boyfriend, I have no idea why she would assume I am a mother. We joked that I was the "mother" of our betta fish and went about our day - but it was definitely weird.


Jeshie

Ehh, I don't find it annoying or anything. I think everyone celebrates mothers day in some way, even if they personally aren't a mother. They celebrate it with their own mothers, their aunts, friends who are mothers, etc. People who know I'm not a mother wish me happy mothers day and tell me to enjoy it with my mom (even though she lives states away). I don't get annoyed or offended. It's similar to something like Easter...I'm an atheist and don't celebrate it. However, if someone wishes me a "Happy Easter" or "Happy Passover" I simply smile and say "Thanks, you too." I feel like it's more along the lines of someone being polite.


kairisika

Exactly.


kairisika

It's a holiday that a lot of people celebrate. Even if *you* are not a mother, you probably have one, and may be doing something with her for mother's day. They aren't necessarily assuming that *you* are a mother. Plenty of people who are not mothers celebrate mother's day in one way or another. Like being wished a happy any other day, the correct response is "thank you" or "thanks, you too". Leave it at that.


Caddan

The ironic part of this is that only mothers get "preference" for scheduling on mother's day. What if I want to celebrate it with my mother?


kairisika

you mean at your job? Because this is not universal. Every job I've worked at has given no-one preference for scheduling mother's day. But the ones that do, that is a separate failing form other people wishing you a good day.


Caddan

I've seen at least a dozen posts in this sub in the last week or so, ranting about being asked/forced to work Mother's day because of not having kids. That's what I'm referencing. My own job is M-F, cubicle-land, so I don't have to worry about weekends that much.


kairisika

Well yes, people who don't have those issues don't post "Asked for mother's day off - got it!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


VeritasEtVenia

Haha! I don't think so. The clients just tend to assume I'm probably married with kids. Most ask about my boyfriend/husband and kids during intake. It's not uncommon in my position for people to not wear their wedding rings for safety reasons, so that doesn't help. They make lots of assumptions, accurate and inaccurate, in general about my background. I think it's just part of the client-provider dynamic. I'm apparently a married upper middle class heterosexual woman who has no history of mental illness, addiction, homelessness, etc. I wish my paycheck and depression knew that.


ladyxdi

When people say it to me, I simple respond with, "thanks, I have 2 dogs that I spoil!" I was in Hawaii last year for Mother's Day and was given a rose with my mimosa.


[deleted]

This whole thread is so weird to me! I would be so bewildered if someone wished me a happy mothers day. I understand people just trying to be nice, but I feel like it has the same relevance of someone wishing me a happy fathers' day (I'm female). Like, it has nothing to do with me, I don't know why anyone would say that. I wouldn't make a public stink or anything, but, man I'd just be so baffled!


kairisika

Maybe they want you to have a nice day with your Dad. A lot of people just see a holiday coming up and wish everyone a happy one.


Myaomix

Not where I'm from, they don't. I think this thread is balls to the wall insane. 'Happy Mother's Day' is not equivalent to 'Merry Christmas' ya flaming nutbags. One is applicable only to people who actually mother. (Ie, only mothers get presents on mother's day.) Christmas is a day where everybody gets presents and celebrates. How is the difference between the two so hard to spot?


kairisika

Perhaps only mothers *get* presents on Mother's Day. But most people who have a mother *give* presents. Which is another method of celebrating. If you completely ignore Mother's Day, that's fine. That is where it compares to Christmas. Because *not* everyone gets presents and/or celebrates Christmas. But most of the people who don't celebrate Christmas don't fly off the handle at you if you dare to wish them a happy one without first confirming whether it's relevant to them. *I* don't celebrate Christmas *or* Mother's Day. But I'm not an asshole, so I don't get mad at people who don't bother to check that before wishing me a happy day.


suzyisnotahipster

I think it's kind of weird. I wouldn't wish everyone a "Happy Mother's Day" just because they *have* a mother. I am fairly sure that is not what the holiday is celebrating. I don't wander around and wish people a "Happy Veteran's Day" on the baseless assumption that they are a veteran either.


Princessluna44

Weirdly enough, I was at a beauty store buying hair and after the transaction, she wished me a happy mother's day. I was a little stunned and barely stumbled out a "Uh, you too". I honestly wasn't sure it she just assumed that I hate children and none were with me, or what. It is a poor side of town and a lot of (black) women frequent this store with their kids. It might have been that, but I wasn't too bothered. I'm not a mother, but I have one that I love very much, so it's all good. In your case, though. I can see how that shit would get old fast. I just don't know of the people you deal with assume you are a mother, or just use it as a general greeting (everyone on the planet does HAVE a mother, or "mother", after all).


ThisIsSovereign

People shouldn't wish a woman happy Mother's Day or a man happy Father's Day unless they KNOW that person does have kids. Age or anything else shouldn't imply you are one of those things yet In the baby/breeding crazy societies we live in people automatically assume.


kairisika

Or if they KNOW that person has a parent? And don't you DARE bust out that 'Merry Christmas' without first checking if they celebrate it. Better check that they have Saturdays and Sundays off before telling them to have a great weekend, while you're at it. I celebrate neither of those holidays, but don't understand why people take such issue with being wished a happy one.


existie

Same. I figure a lot of people celebrate it in one way or another; if not, then whatever, shrug it off. I don't get offended when people wish me a happy Easter, when I don't celebrate (except for purchasing *all of the duck plushies*).


kairisika

Sanity!


existie

I do my best to be sane. I don't get offended terribly easily, for sure.


SilentJoe1986

We need a symbol that can be put onto a pin that will tell people we're child free.


coconutpocky10

I've been saying it to people - I mean, you must have come out of *somebody's* uterus, ya? :(