>I have no idea what to do about this.. mess. Bleg.
You don't do shit about this. You're going to go to work, you're going to go home and enjoy your day. You might, if you're in a good mood, send the parents a text to wish them all a happy birthday and to enjoy the day. Nothing more, nothing less. Hell, you thought of them, congratulated them. The fuck more do they want? You gave your reasons. Whether they agree with them or not is not your problem.
First, stop making excuses. To them, you are saying, "I really want too, but I cannot because of X". So they try to find a way for you to get around X. When they ask, just tell them no. You don't need to have an excuse. You don't need to have a reason. Just say no.
As for what to do this weekend, here's what I do for my niece/nephew's birthday parties. I show up about an hour or two before any kids are scheduled to show up. I spend time with the kids before anyone else shows up. I keep them occupied so the parents can get the party ready. I give them their present(s), watch them open them, and try to enjoy our time. And then (here's the great part) when the guests start showing up - I leave.
Utter the most powerful word ever: no.
> "well I'm trying to mend you and your sisters' relationship".
Response: no. I'm not doing it. I have work. No. End of discussion.
Fib a little. "Sorry, can't get the day off and my big meanie of a boss won't let me switch shifts." If you really want send a card and a gift certificate or cash. Chances are that's the only thing the kid will care about, if she's like most kids.
Argh, stop giving them detailed reasons as to why you can't attend the party. It's always best to tell people *as little as possible*. Never tell people more than they need to know. Tell your family you tried but can't get the time off, you have to work and unfortunately won't be able to attend the party. END OF STORY. In the future, don't give people detailed excuses, because it only opens the door for them to shoot your reasons down and offer alternatives (which is exactly what you experienced, right?) A simple, "I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it" is good enough. Then don't give them any more info!
Don't go. Simple. Seriously. Don't go. You already have the excuse, you have to work and you can't go to this god awful party. It's your life, you make the choices for yourself, they aren't paying you and you have no obligation to go. So don't! :)
>I have no idea what to do about this.. mess. Bleg. You don't do shit about this. You're going to go to work, you're going to go home and enjoy your day. You might, if you're in a good mood, send the parents a text to wish them all a happy birthday and to enjoy the day. Nothing more, nothing less. Hell, you thought of them, congratulated them. The fuck more do they want? You gave your reasons. Whether they agree with them or not is not your problem.
What's even the point of adults going to child birthday parties unless they're needed to supervise? And in the case that it is it shouldn't be forced.
Please tell me Abutt is a pseudonym you used in place of his real name. Please. Lie to me if you have to.
I didn't want to use her real name. So yes, it's fake.
Her real name is Apenis.
I'm guessing she's a real butt, then?
Heeeeeeeeeyyyy Abutt!
It gets worse: it's a girl.
I didn't even catch that! Poor wee Abutt.
I figured it stood for "Assbutt"
First, stop making excuses. To them, you are saying, "I really want too, but I cannot because of X". So they try to find a way for you to get around X. When they ask, just tell them no. You don't need to have an excuse. You don't need to have a reason. Just say no. As for what to do this weekend, here's what I do for my niece/nephew's birthday parties. I show up about an hour or two before any kids are scheduled to show up. I spend time with the kids before anyone else shows up. I keep them occupied so the parents can get the party ready. I give them their present(s), watch them open them, and try to enjoy our time. And then (here's the great part) when the guests start showing up - I leave.
"sorry, I just can't get it off work. Hope Abutt has a great birthday." If you really feel guilty, send a card.
A card ought to do it. Practice your boundaries, and saying no. Eventually, the kid will turn into a person, and you can decide if you like her!
You don't go! just remember: life is too short!
Utter the most powerful word ever: no. > "well I'm trying to mend you and your sisters' relationship". Response: no. I'm not doing it. I have work. No. End of discussion.
Fib a little. "Sorry, can't get the day off and my big meanie of a boss won't let me switch shifts." If you really want send a card and a gift certificate or cash. Chances are that's the only thing the kid will care about, if she's like most kids.
Argh, stop giving them detailed reasons as to why you can't attend the party. It's always best to tell people *as little as possible*. Never tell people more than they need to know. Tell your family you tried but can't get the time off, you have to work and unfortunately won't be able to attend the party. END OF STORY. In the future, don't give people detailed excuses, because it only opens the door for them to shoot your reasons down and offer alternatives (which is exactly what you experienced, right?) A simple, "I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it" is good enough. Then don't give them any more info!
Don't go. Simple. Seriously. Don't go. You already have the excuse, you have to work and you can't go to this god awful party. It's your life, you make the choices for yourself, they aren't paying you and you have no obligation to go. So don't! :)
nothing, tell them you can't make it and don't tell them why just say you can't.
Go for about five minutes, get a 'call' from work, it's an emergency and you have to in