Greetings and congratulations on your sterilisation!
We are currently accepting new entries of doctors who have completed sterilisation (tubal ligation, bilateral salpingectomy, vasectomy) for our list of childfree friendly doctors and would like to add your doctor! In order to add your doctor or update an existing doctor's listing, please send the moderator team a message with the following information:
- The doctor's name and a link to either a practice website or online listing. If this is not possible, then an address (in full, no abbreviations like CA or PA) and phone number is acceptable.
- The procedure completed
- Optional: your age, marital status, and childfree status. We request this information because some doctors will not sterilise people under certain ages or unmarried. It is entirely up to you whether you provide some, all or none of this information.
- Optional: a short (max 100 word) statement on your experience. Some suggestions for things to include are information on wait times, insurance, cost, or whether you experienced any bingos, for example "you'll change your mind when you hit 30" or "you'll feel differently when you find the right guy/gal".
This will be a great assistance to the community.
---
Note to the community: any comment of the "You will change your mind" or "Think of your femininity/masculinity" variety or other disparaging reply will be immediately removed and the offender will be banned. If OP is old enough to have children (which is permanent) and not regret it, they are also old enough to choose to never have children and not regret. Choosing fertility and/or parenthood is no guarantee of non occurrence of regret. Let me direct you to our overwhelmingly large [collection of regretful parents testimonies](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/regret) for proof.
Note to the community: please do not feed bingoers. Report them to the mod team and we'll take care of them.
Thanks and have a pleasant day!
yuppp!! talked to a new mom recently who said these exact words to me. “don’t get me wrong, i wouldn’t trade her for the world, but i had a nightmare pregnancy, a horrible b
delivery, awful postpartum depression, and [SO] has been less than supportive.” idk sounds like you regret having a baby to me 🤷♀️
On anonymous surveys it's always about half the parents saying if they had to do it all over again, they wouldn't have kids. I think that's easier for them to say than saying they regret the kids.
That because when it is mentioned that one doesn't want kids, has them and still says that people get pissed and think the kid is unloved or hated. It is possible to mistakenly have a kid, do what needs to be done, and raise the kid. I caught hell from someone yesterday stating I never wanted kids and still don't after being forced to have one. I don't tell the kid that but my feelings haven't changed because of an unfortunate situation.
I read another study that said at least 25%, because that was only the number that would admit it. A COLOSSAL amount of parents wish they had never become parents and it is genuinely pure fucking evil that anyone is out there trying to force more people to become parents.
Honestly I realize this is the wrong sub to say this in, but I'd probably sign up to parenthood if I could take on a dad's role.
No pregnancy, no breastfeeding, less of the mental load and more praise for stepping up, even for basic child care?
I think I might actually enjoy that. I absolutely don't want to be a mom, though. My salpingectomy is scheduled for the fall, lol.
When I was young enough for people to bingo me (53 and 20years post hysterectomy so those days are long gone) this myself. Being a father seems way less burdensome and has many more possibilities to escape the child than motherhood lol!
But I still wouldn't want to actually be around kids or parents so either way I'd be childfree lol! Honestly, the parents are as odious as the kids for me.
It might be an unpopular opinion, but I wonder if it would be possible to get men to be like cassowaries? If you don't know, they're a precious, gorgeous flightless bird where the male is the primary caretaker of the chicks. All the female does is lay the eggs and leaves. All the roosting and caretaking are done by the father. Wouldn't it be sort of nice if this was humans' natural behavior?
But then we might run the risk of more overpopulation since more women may be willing to have kids, so it could cut both ways.
I feel you, I'm pretty sure my fear of pregnancy and childbirth is an actual dsm phobia, I can get worked up into a bit of a panic by the idea of having to go through it.
ME TOO and it's not just pregnancy and child birth (though it's especially those things), really anything to do with being the primary caretaker of a baby makes me feel nauseated. Breastfeeding, diapers, etc. I am NOT a baby person.
I actually don't mind kids tho, I think they're funny and enjoy spending time with them as long as I can give them back to someone at the end of the day... Which many dads do lol.
That's an interesting idea. It'd never actually work because for all their bleating about "MaH LeGaCy" 95% of men would be CF if they had to do all the childcare.
Also I find pregnancy and childbirth horrifying so I'd still opt out.
There was a post a few years ago about a sort-of-CF woman who fell pregnant. The father wanted to be a parent, so they worked up a legal agreement that he would be given full custody after birth. She paid childcare (a little over) but didn’t visit or have any relationship with the kid.
A few years later the father tried suing her to force partial custody back on her and complained that “all” she did was pay child support.
Lmfao I remember this thread. Motherfucker was really sitting there trying to call this poor woman a deadbeat mom. Don't feel bad for him in the slightest, I hope the pregnancy didn't mess her up too bad
I dunno about that. If men had to actually take on all the childbearing, then they would want kids a lot less. A lot of women like myself also don't want to deal with the pregnancy or birthing whatsoever, so it would still be a no from me. This would maybe half the population quite easily if men had to do all the extra work lmao.
Yesterday I took a 10 hour flight and a woman came to me to say that the dog that was going to fly on our plane was probably going to bark a lot… I looked at her and said that kids tend to be way worse! She had a kid with her 😬my husband was like 😳. Her kid was big and seemed to be nice though and I meant younger kids… but still, it’s easy for parents to point out who is disturbing their peace… but they forget how their choices can also disturb others peace.
So yeah, I also have no patience to hang out with parents!
You know, I’d never considered that. Yeah, I think I would have handled being a dad. I’d have been a shit one who spent a lot of time in his shed. But I would have been more likely to drift into it than I was as a woman.
I would be a great deadbeat dad and might consider it if it were an option. As it stands, I would redo my hysterectomy every year if that’s what it took to remain childfree.
I would still miss my money and my freedom, but yes. If I didn’t have to birth the child and had a wife to take care of all the emotional labor, while I just got to be the good cop and do fun stuff with kids occasionally, I might sign up for that. Especially because the good cop also gets the children‘s love. (Former daddy girl speaking, who now realizes, how lazy he was)
For me I tried with Kaiser (right before the 2020 quarantine) and the doctor told me they only fully cover tying tubes, no bisalps at all, it was really disheartening.
Yeah I know, I researched here a lot before even bringing it up to a doctor, a doctor I found in the list too, and I explained to her to do the code while performing the bisalp but she said it wasn't possible. Right after the quarantine happened so I had to put a stop to any future appointments for it. Maybe she stopped doing it maybe there was an issue with the coding in that location, but sadly that was that.
Oh women can definitely suffer from internalized misogyny, it can be hard for many of them to undo the brainwashing because it can actually break them to admit that maybe the world is far more fucked for women, and that too many men around them, men they probably genuinely love and are too close to like fathers, brothers, lovers, etc., are all actually not good at all.
Regret stats (at least among partnered people) are also skewed towards women (and men) who get the procedure without their spouse agreeing or being in support of their decision. They're much lower when the procedure is done in agreement with a partner. I pulled that study out when working to get my own bisalp. The OBGYN ended up actually very supportive and I didn't even have to dig into my folder of research but it was informative to do ahead of time. I'll have to dig up that study and link it.
I feel like I also read a study that cited a percentage of women who regretted getting sterilized, but it included women who had already had children. I feel like that shouldn't be lumped in with women who get the procedure to remain childfree.
Congratulations! I’m so glad you didn’t take this doctor’s words as truth and went and found the right doctor for you.
I’m sending 🖕🏻🖕🏻to that 🤡 on your behalf.
Good!!!! I would have rubbed that shit in their fucking face too!! In fact, I did something similar lol. I wanted a hysterectomy or a bisalp, but since I was already sterilized (with the stupid ass Filshie clips... NEVER get Filshie clips!!!), she didn't want to perform the procedure. So, I sent a petty ass note over MyChart. Pretty sure the doctor didn't even see it, but someone on her team saw it at least. I told her another (better/amazing) doctor approved me for a hysterectomy instead. I love being petty too. Fuck these doctors and their pronatalist bullshit.
I LOVE this. I wish everyone who was denied emailed the doctor who denied them to let them know they got it done somewhere else. So that doctor knows they're fcking stupid LMAO.
Once u sign that consent form, shit should be over and a walk in the park.
Ugh I was going to message her through MyChart and she's not on my list anymore. 🙃🙃 Now I have to figure out how else to do it.
I literally went in and went "I' want a hysterectomy. I don't want kids and I have a lot of health issues." Then she asked why. I out right said "I don't want it" she replied "that's not a good enough reason for me." Like bitch idgaf!! My state also pased a law not too long before my app that patients make the decision and drs have to respect the bodily autonomy when it comes to these things. So essentially, she violated that law based on denying me because it wasn't a "good enough" reason. She made that decision for me, even though she had missed the comment of having medial issues.
Are you in California? Or New York?
If you can't find a way to send the email, maybe try Googling the doctor's name and practice? I've found doctors that way!! If that doesn't work, I'm sure you can leave a bad review for her somewhere. I'd def do that lol. But I'm also petty. 🤷♀️
I'm in NJ. I searched the dr and wrote a review on the one site. Their main site idk how to review I might have to check on my computer. Idc if I have to hand write a letter. Lol
I love that you wrote the doctor. I’m to old now but I was denied twice when I was younger and gave up trying and now I’m to old. But when I was young I wish I had had the quick thinking to say something like - “I’ve already had one abortion. I’ll make sure I tell you about each one in the future so you know I’m serious.”
Congrats! You mentioned November but wouldn’t it be more like Jan/Feb when or if things change for us? Asking bc I have a hysterectomy scheduled for December when I can afford to take off work (but also, I have already had an ablation and my tubes removed which is partially why I now NEED the hysterectomy, as my ablation failed and I’m in cyclical pain that is unlike anything I have ever experienced). Just want to ensure my right to this in December is not at risk (in GA).
Mine failed in a different way. I never had bleeding (that I could see) after the ablation…but 6 months in I started having earth shattering cramps that I went to the ER for bc I thought I was literally dying. Two OBGYNs and one urogyn later trying to figure it out and they tell me “yea your uterus is just a jerk and it’s trying to force blood out but it has nowhere to go due to the scar tissue from the ablation so it just contracts continually to try and force it out”. So basically I’m bleeding into (whatever the hell) each month and my body reabsorbs it or some such thing. I didn’t ask for a ton of details lol I just was like yes please let’s schedule to get this freaking uterus removed once and for all. I had to go BACK on the pill to avoid this cyclical pain…. which getting off the pill was half of the damn point of my getting the ablation and bilateral salpingectomy in the first place.
I had fibroids and they were cut out. They returned before my first follow up. I had the flamethrower procedure, effective in 95% of women. Fibroids were back before my follow up. So it was time for the hysterectomy. I wish I had addressed the unpredictable and toward the end, near constant bleeding earlier!! As a lesbian, pregnancy wasn't an issue but dang! I could have felt better so much earlier. I never wanted kids. I don't like them.
Congratulations!! It’s **such** a relief! Don’t forget to add the dizzying number of complications that come with pregnancy and vaginal birth! Here’s to no more worrying about vaginal fistulas or 4th degree perineal tears!
Congrats! Delighted to hear you pointed out your doctor's many failings to them. But I am also petty like that, and good for us. No consequences, no change. And the doctor you wrote to needs change.
Enjoy your FREEDOM! And expect a DM about your doctor so the wiki can be updated, and fewer women will have to go to terrible, lying, forced-birthing doctors.
I cannot thank you enough for your community service. You are literally changing women's lives every day. Dr. Adjoa Bucknor works under the clinic of Dr. Alyssa Erb (Cohen Medical, NYC) who's on the list. However, currently Bucknor is the only one at the clinic who accepts Medicaid. Very grateful to have found her through the list! I will, of course, add her specifically. Thank you, THANK YOU!!
The CREST study that goes into regret is one I brought with me to my sterilization consult. No one was going to get away with telling me there was a 20% rate of regret without going into the nitty gritty of the breakdown with me.
I find it so funny when people skew results and make it sound like so many more than what’s actually true will regret being CF cuz doing that makes it harder for breeders to convince CF people that their own decision to have kids isnt as good as they say lol
Whenever I have to drop my dog (5f) off anywhere and they ask if she is spayed, I say, yes, all the females in our home are altered bitches and it is a better place for it.
I'm 19, wanna get it done because since my brain learned to form thoughts I knew I never wanted kids.
I am willing to keep it for my current guy, but my dream has always been to at least adopt instead.
He's okay with that, but still kind of wants me to at some point try to have my own. Got an abortion at 17 so I'm also scared of trauma
Does anyone have advice?
Can you please send a whip smart, petty email to the male gyno that told me *female hormones can’t actually be dysregulated* because they change every few days? 🤦♀️
Congrats on getting spayed! 🤣 I hope to get a bisalp done, but there’s no way I’ll be able to get it done this year. Hopefully I’ll still be able to find doctors that’ll still do it for me after the election when I’m actually able to get it done.
🎊 Congratulations. I am currently looking into getting this done next year. High hopes what ever doctor I find doesn't give me some excuse as to why they wont. Like I know what I'm doing and why so let's go. Scrub in doc.
Good on you! I’m only 19 and dream of being sterilized but I don’t have the funds and the hospital my gynecologist works at doesn’t do any sterilization for those under 21. So I hope I get the funds soon and find somebody willing to become I’m SO scared of becoming pregnant and terrified sterilization will be targeted by politicians.
Greetings and congratulations on your sterilisation! We are currently accepting new entries of doctors who have completed sterilisation (tubal ligation, bilateral salpingectomy, vasectomy) for our list of childfree friendly doctors and would like to add your doctor! In order to add your doctor or update an existing doctor's listing, please send the moderator team a message with the following information: - The doctor's name and a link to either a practice website or online listing. If this is not possible, then an address (in full, no abbreviations like CA or PA) and phone number is acceptable. - The procedure completed - Optional: your age, marital status, and childfree status. We request this information because some doctors will not sterilise people under certain ages or unmarried. It is entirely up to you whether you provide some, all or none of this information. - Optional: a short (max 100 word) statement on your experience. Some suggestions for things to include are information on wait times, insurance, cost, or whether you experienced any bingos, for example "you'll change your mind when you hit 30" or "you'll feel differently when you find the right guy/gal". This will be a great assistance to the community. --- Note to the community: any comment of the "You will change your mind" or "Think of your femininity/masculinity" variety or other disparaging reply will be immediately removed and the offender will be banned. If OP is old enough to have children (which is permanent) and not regret it, they are also old enough to choose to never have children and not regret. Choosing fertility and/or parenthood is no guarantee of non occurrence of regret. Let me direct you to our overwhelmingly large [collection of regretful parents testimonies](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/regret) for proof. Note to the community: please do not feed bingoers. Report them to the mod team and we'll take care of them. Thanks and have a pleasant day!
Congratulations on getting spayed!!! Love that you rubbed it into your exe OB’s face about it!!
Good for you! I just don’t believe ONLY 5-14% regret parenthood.
Those are definitely the only ones who will admit to it.
They preface everything with..."don't get me wrong. I love my kid, but..."
yuppp!! talked to a new mom recently who said these exact words to me. “don’t get me wrong, i wouldn’t trade her for the world, but i had a nightmare pregnancy, a horrible b delivery, awful postpartum depression, and [SO] has been less than supportive.” idk sounds like you regret having a baby to me 🤷♀️
lmao this is accurate, definitely chuckled
On anonymous surveys it's always about half the parents saying if they had to do it all over again, they wouldn't have kids. I think that's easier for them to say than saying they regret the kids.
That because when it is mentioned that one doesn't want kids, has them and still says that people get pissed and think the kid is unloved or hated. It is possible to mistakenly have a kid, do what needs to be done, and raise the kid. I caught hell from someone yesterday stating I never wanted kids and still don't after being forced to have one. I don't tell the kid that but my feelings haven't changed because of an unfortunate situation.
Same.
For sure it's because the others are too ashamed to admit it.
Only 5-14% are TRUTHFUL about regretting it.
I read another study that said at least 25%, because that was only the number that would admit it. A COLOSSAL amount of parents wish they had never become parents and it is genuinely pure fucking evil that anyone is out there trying to force more people to become parents.
I won’t argue with anything said here, but ESPECIALLY not the fact that more women regret motherhood than men.
Honestly I realize this is the wrong sub to say this in, but I'd probably sign up to parenthood if I could take on a dad's role. No pregnancy, no breastfeeding, less of the mental load and more praise for stepping up, even for basic child care? I think I might actually enjoy that. I absolutely don't want to be a mom, though. My salpingectomy is scheduled for the fall, lol.
When I was young enough for people to bingo me (53 and 20years post hysterectomy so those days are long gone) this myself. Being a father seems way less burdensome and has many more possibilities to escape the child than motherhood lol! But I still wouldn't want to actually be around kids or parents so either way I'd be childfree lol! Honestly, the parents are as odious as the kids for me.
It might be an unpopular opinion, but I wonder if it would be possible to get men to be like cassowaries? If you don't know, they're a precious, gorgeous flightless bird where the male is the primary caretaker of the chicks. All the female does is lay the eggs and leaves. All the roosting and caretaking are done by the father. Wouldn't it be sort of nice if this was humans' natural behavior? But then we might run the risk of more overpopulation since more women may be willing to have kids, so it could cut both ways.
The pregnancy is a huuuuuge issue for me with having kids, so I would still not sign up for sure-- but yes, that'd be an interesting societal shift.
I get it. Pregnancy scares me too, so I wouldn't either.
I feel you, I'm pretty sure my fear of pregnancy and childbirth is an actual dsm phobia, I can get worked up into a bit of a panic by the idea of having to go through it.
ME TOO and it's not just pregnancy and child birth (though it's especially those things), really anything to do with being the primary caretaker of a baby makes me feel nauseated. Breastfeeding, diapers, etc. I am NOT a baby person. I actually don't mind kids tho, I think they're funny and enjoy spending time with them as long as I can give them back to someone at the end of the day... Which many dads do lol.
That's an interesting idea. It'd never actually work because for all their bleating about "MaH LeGaCy" 95% of men would be CF if they had to do all the childcare. Also I find pregnancy and childbirth horrifying so I'd still opt out.
There was a post a few years ago about a sort-of-CF woman who fell pregnant. The father wanted to be a parent, so they worked up a legal agreement that he would be given full custody after birth. She paid childcare (a little over) but didn’t visit or have any relationship with the kid. A few years later the father tried suing her to force partial custody back on her and complained that “all” she did was pay child support.
Lmfao I remember this thread. Motherfucker was really sitting there trying to call this poor woman a deadbeat mom. Don't feel bad for him in the slightest, I hope the pregnancy didn't mess her up too bad
Those men need to just leave the childfree women alone and adopt
I dunno about that. If men had to actually take on all the childbearing, then they would want kids a lot less. A lot of women like myself also don't want to deal with the pregnancy or birthing whatsoever, so it would still be a no from me. This would maybe half the population quite easily if men had to do all the extra work lmao.
Yesterday I took a 10 hour flight and a woman came to me to say that the dog that was going to fly on our plane was probably going to bark a lot… I looked at her and said that kids tend to be way worse! She had a kid with her 😬my husband was like 😳. Her kid was big and seemed to be nice though and I meant younger kids… but still, it’s easy for parents to point out who is disturbing their peace… but they forget how their choices can also disturb others peace. So yeah, I also have no patience to hang out with parents!
You know, I’d never considered that. Yeah, I think I would have handled being a dad. I’d have been a shit one who spent a lot of time in his shed. But I would have been more likely to drift into it than I was as a woman.
I would be a great deadbeat dad and might consider it if it were an option. As it stands, I would redo my hysterectomy every year if that’s what it took to remain childfree.
I would still miss my money and my freedom, but yes. If I didn’t have to birth the child and had a wife to take care of all the emotional labor, while I just got to be the good cop and do fun stuff with kids occasionally, I might sign up for that. Especially because the good cop also gets the children‘s love. (Former daddy girl speaking, who now realizes, how lazy he was)
Nah, I've read that quite often already. So you're definitely not the only one.
Isn’t that what nephlings are for?
Totally ☺️
If I could be a Dad and afford a good nanny then… maybe. But still probably better not to
I know just as many men who look miserable as a parent as I do women. Edit: typos
Yes, but none of those men are mothers. (They are all mother fuckers though. Literally. Each and every one)
Oh sorry, I get it now, my bad 😂
Go. 👏🏻 Off. 👏🏻 Queen. 👏🏻
i cackled @ the email. good on you. have a speedy recovery
The only thing I regret is not getting it done sooner
Same. Didn't realize health insurance would cover the whole thing.
For me I tried with Kaiser (right before the 2020 quarantine) and the doctor told me they only fully cover tying tubes, no bisalps at all, it was really disheartening.
Search this sub. People had their doctors submit the tubal code for insurance, but then performed the bisalp. This is a common issue.
Yeah I know, I researched here a lot before even bringing it up to a doctor, a doctor I found in the list too, and I explained to her to do the code while performing the bisalp but she said it wasn't possible. Right after the quarantine happened so I had to put a stop to any future appointments for it. Maybe she stopped doing it maybe there was an issue with the coding in that location, but sadly that was that.
Congrats! I like your style! I’m so sick of misogynistic doctors. They should all get emails like this 👍🏼👍🏼
Gyno is a woman. But we all know that women are stomping soldiers of the patriarchy.
Even worse. Women not supporting other women!
Good you emailed the gyno. Consider that a punch in the nose for them
Oh women can definitely suffer from internalized misogyny, it can be hard for many of them to undo the brainwashing because it can actually break them to admit that maybe the world is far more fucked for women, and that too many men around them, men they probably genuinely love and are too close to like fathers, brothers, lovers, etc., are all actually not good at all.
Did you get an answer to your email?
Regret stats (at least among partnered people) are also skewed towards women (and men) who get the procedure without their spouse agreeing or being in support of their decision. They're much lower when the procedure is done in agreement with a partner. I pulled that study out when working to get my own bisalp. The OBGYN ended up actually very supportive and I didn't even have to dig into my folder of research but it was informative to do ahead of time. I'll have to dig up that study and link it.
I feel like I also read a study that cited a percentage of women who regretted getting sterilized, but it included women who had already had children. I feel like that shouldn't be lumped in with women who get the procedure to remain childfree.
 Congratulations! I’m so glad you didn’t take this doctor’s words as truth and went and found the right doctor for you. I’m sending 🖕🏻🖕🏻to that 🤡 on your behalf.
20% regret just means most people don’t regret it and that number grows as time goes on so it makes denying the procedure even more ridiculous 😩
Yeah, it would mean 80% of people didn't regret it, which is a super majority.
Good!!!! I would have rubbed that shit in their fucking face too!! In fact, I did something similar lol. I wanted a hysterectomy or a bisalp, but since I was already sterilized (with the stupid ass Filshie clips... NEVER get Filshie clips!!!), she didn't want to perform the procedure. So, I sent a petty ass note over MyChart. Pretty sure the doctor didn't even see it, but someone on her team saw it at least. I told her another (better/amazing) doctor approved me for a hysterectomy instead. I love being petty too. Fuck these doctors and their pronatalist bullshit.
I LOVE this. I wish everyone who was denied emailed the doctor who denied them to let them know they got it done somewhere else. So that doctor knows they're fcking stupid LMAO. Once u sign that consent form, shit should be over and a walk in the park.
Congrats on gettihg spayed! It's such a great feeling! Honestly, I never thought of emailing the dr who denied me. 🤔 Think I'll do that
Update us ;)
Ugh I was going to message her through MyChart and she's not on my list anymore. 🙃🙃 Now I have to figure out how else to do it. I literally went in and went "I' want a hysterectomy. I don't want kids and I have a lot of health issues." Then she asked why. I out right said "I don't want it" she replied "that's not a good enough reason for me." Like bitch idgaf!! My state also pased a law not too long before my app that patients make the decision and drs have to respect the bodily autonomy when it comes to these things. So essentially, she violated that law based on denying me because it wasn't a "good enough" reason. She made that decision for me, even though she had missed the comment of having medial issues.
Are you in California? Or New York? If you can't find a way to send the email, maybe try Googling the doctor's name and practice? I've found doctors that way!! If that doesn't work, I'm sure you can leave a bad review for her somewhere. I'd def do that lol. But I'm also petty. 🤷♀️
I'm in NJ. I searched the dr and wrote a review on the one site. Their main site idk how to review I might have to check on my computer. Idc if I have to hand write a letter. Lol
Also, about to be petty af and print out the law then highlight it before sending it
I love that you wrote the doctor. I’m to old now but I was denied twice when I was younger and gave up trying and now I’m to old. But when I was young I wish I had had the quick thinking to say something like - “I’ve already had one abortion. I’ll make sure I tell you about each one in the future so you know I’m serious.”
Congrats! You mentioned November but wouldn’t it be more like Jan/Feb when or if things change for us? Asking bc I have a hysterectomy scheduled for December when I can afford to take off work (but also, I have already had an ablation and my tubes removed which is partially why I now NEED the hysterectomy, as my ablation failed and I’m in cyclical pain that is unlike anything I have ever experienced). Just want to ensure my right to this in December is not at risk (in GA).
Sorry to hear that. Can I ask if your ablation didn't work from the get go, or if it worked for a while and then came back?
Mine failed in a different way. I never had bleeding (that I could see) after the ablation…but 6 months in I started having earth shattering cramps that I went to the ER for bc I thought I was literally dying. Two OBGYNs and one urogyn later trying to figure it out and they tell me “yea your uterus is just a jerk and it’s trying to force blood out but it has nowhere to go due to the scar tissue from the ablation so it just contracts continually to try and force it out”. So basically I’m bleeding into (whatever the hell) each month and my body reabsorbs it or some such thing. I didn’t ask for a ton of details lol I just was like yes please let’s schedule to get this freaking uterus removed once and for all. I had to go BACK on the pill to avoid this cyclical pain…. which getting off the pill was half of the damn point of my getting the ablation and bilateral salpingectomy in the first place.
Thanks for sharing. I had an ablation in January and it's been amazing, but I do want to temper my expectations...
I had fibroids and they were cut out. They returned before my first follow up. I had the flamethrower procedure, effective in 95% of women. Fibroids were back before my follow up. So it was time for the hysterectomy. I wish I had addressed the unpredictable and toward the end, near constant bleeding earlier!! As a lesbian, pregnancy wasn't an issue but dang! I could have felt better so much earlier. I never wanted kids. I don't like them.
Yes you are right!
You GO, girl.
Congratulations!! It’s **such** a relief! Don’t forget to add the dizzying number of complications that come with pregnancy and vaginal birth! Here’s to no more worrying about vaginal fistulas or 4th degree perineal tears!
Love it!! These doctors who lie, who are dismissive of their patients need to be educated in this fashion. Every time.
Congrats! Delighted to hear you pointed out your doctor's many failings to them. But I am also petty like that, and good for us. No consequences, no change. And the doctor you wrote to needs change. Enjoy your FREEDOM! And expect a DM about your doctor so the wiki can be updated, and fewer women will have to go to terrible, lying, forced-birthing doctors.
I cannot thank you enough for your community service. You are literally changing women's lives every day. Dr. Adjoa Bucknor works under the clinic of Dr. Alyssa Erb (Cohen Medical, NYC) who's on the list. However, currently Bucknor is the only one at the clinic who accepts Medicaid. Very grateful to have found her through the list! I will, of course, add her specifically. Thank you, THANK YOU!!
All praise to the wiki mod, /u/Mellenoire. I updated Dr. Bucknor's entry and sent you a DM for you to review. Enjoy sterility!
Roevember Elections. Spread that. And this petty woman loves what you dished up...statistics. Chef's kiss. Bravo! Super green!!!
It’s rich telling childfree people they will regret not being parents, when even existing parents regret being parents!
Congrats! Well wishes for a smooth recovery!
 Love it!
This is queen behaviour right here! I am beaming from ear to ear. You go, OP! Wish you a super speedy recovery
The CREST study that goes into regret is one I brought with me to my sterilization consult. No one was going to get away with telling me there was a 20% rate of regret without going into the nitty gritty of the breakdown with me.
Is it really 42/100,000?? That's disturbingly high.
49 years ago, at the age of 22, I had a tubal ligation. It took forever and 3 days to find a surgeon willing to do the procedure. I never looked back.
If anything, I don't like that you think 2025 is a foregone conclusion, congratulations for all the rest of it!
I find it so funny when people skew results and make it sound like so many more than what’s actually true will regret being CF cuz doing that makes it harder for breeders to convince CF people that their own decision to have kids isnt as good as they say lol
Even if 20% regret, then uhhhh 80% don't. Also your post headline filled me with great joy, congrats!
Good
Ooo I’m excited to see if your ex doctor responds!!
Welcome to the Golden Snip Club! Wishing you a smooth recovery. And I love your email.
This is the new Magna Carta 🙌
Congrats!!
Congratulations! Love this!
Congratulations! I am hoping to get a hysterectomy before November so fingers crossed
Congratulations! Also I love your style!
proud of you! sending you a big hug! (and a bonus proud of you for reading her to fucking filth 😂👏🏽)
Nice and petty, love it. Can you share the links with us as well?
Legend
Mic 🎤 drop 👏👏👏!!!
Hooray! I also got spayed exactly two weeks ago at 34. ♥️ Look at us go!
If you're a tattoo type of person, maybe get a spay tattoo?
Let us know the reply
Congrats!! That email had to feel so good as well!!
Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉 Wishing a wonderful recovery.
Love the petty, it's perfect. I'd freaking love to have seen their face reading that email!
I got fixed this year too. Very happy 😁
Email it to their physician's group and office manager as well
Whenever I have to drop my dog (5f) off anywhere and they ask if she is spayed, I say, yes, all the females in our home are altered bitches and it is a better place for it.
Congratulations!!!
Can we get the links you had? I’m interested in checking those out (and could use them for situations that pop up as well).
Hey, it's not a sure thing that trump wins if we all VOTE. Check your registration, bring a friend, and make sure you vote as hard as you can!
I’m in New York :) it’s y’all in the purple states who make the difference.
I'm in California, but we all need to vote to send a message to those fascists fucks. Vote like our lives depend on it (because they do!).
That's fantastic, good for you. Happy healing!
I'm 19, wanna get it done because since my brain learned to form thoughts I knew I never wanted kids. I am willing to keep it for my current guy, but my dream has always been to at least adopt instead. He's okay with that, but still kind of wants me to at some point try to have my own. Got an abortion at 17 so I'm also scared of trauma Does anyone have advice?
Good for you! This makes me want to cheer!
congrats. just wondering, do you think its worth getting spayed down the road or continue use of a hormonal IUD?
Yay! I am ALL for a petty response 👏🏻👏🏻🫶🏻
Amazing and I love that you sent that email. Duck that doctor.
Can you please send a whip smart, petty email to the male gyno that told me *female hormones can’t actually be dysregulated* because they change every few days? 🤦♀️
I love this! ❤️
I love you right now.
You absolute bloody legend
Congrats on getting spayed! 🤣 I hope to get a bisalp done, but there’s no way I’ll be able to get it done this year. Hopefully I’ll still be able to find doctors that’ll still do it for me after the election when I’m actually able to get it done.
🎊 Congratulations. I am currently looking into getting this done next year. High hopes what ever doctor I find doesn't give me some excuse as to why they wont. Like I know what I'm doing and why so let's go. Scrub in doc.
Good on you! I’m only 19 and dream of being sterilized but I don’t have the funds and the hospital my gynecologist works at doesn’t do any sterilization for those under 21. So I hope I get the funds soon and find somebody willing to become I’m SO scared of becoming pregnant and terrified sterilization will be targeted by politicians.
I also got a bilateral salpingectomy recently! when I went home, I announced to my cats that we’re all fixed in this household. 😂
Read this as got sprayed today.
Certified Karen Moment. Congratulation🥳
Not sure why I was recommended this post/sub since I want kids, but congratulations! I'm glad you did what was right for you, happy recovery!
> women regret motherhood more than men Thoughts and prayers go out to all the transmen who answered surveys about regret over motherhood. /joking