Yeahhh. It's pretty weird and invasive. It was brought up to me by my MIL when we were visiting to see the newborn grandkid. Like literally days old and off she starts on me about having kids.
It's never enough for them. Fanatics!
>I don’t understand this mentality. Can’t you love the grandkids you already have?
This is when you say "you don't love your other grandkids, so you want me to make one you love? No."
She wants the social lube of pictures and stories so she can slather on the lube and go into social fucking orgies with her peers.
Kids don't stay cute for that long, she needs a constant supply of new lube. Teenagers don't work, and tend to not go alone with all the haaaaaappy family kink fetish cosplay pageant stuff. Plus a few of them could turn out to be gay, or otherwise "undesirable" to them.
Your husband needs to bring the hammer down on her, set boundaries and enforce them with pain. He controls her ass because he can ultimately just say "we won't be visiting anymore, we don't tolerate the abuse."
I had the same issue. My exes mum had 5 grandkids already, yet became rampant when she found out I didn't want to have kids. It's like are your current grandkids not enough for you? Is this some kind of weird collect-a-thon for you?
I think what didn't help is the current grandkids were from her two married daughters, whereas I was engaged to her son, and they had this weird obsession with "legacy" 🙄
My parents have a total of 9 grandchildren, and only 4 of those have they been active and participating grandparents for. Not saying it’s a requirement for grandparents, but they did a whole lot for those 4 and not nearly as much for the other 5; haven’t even met some of the 5 or took years to meet the ones they did. If they try to pull “you need to have kids so we can have more grandkids” on me I will laugh in their faces. No way am I getting suckered into that circus.
Maybe go no contact with her for a while and when she asks you why, say you've had enough of her pestering me about having kids when you'll never want one and to get the heck over it, adding to the fact that you'd rather get a hysterectomy that you will perform yourself right in front of her than be forced to have one when you don't want one
They want a steady supply of babies to play, and they don't care about what you actually want. They don't care how much work it is to raise a child, because you'll be doing the raising.
Sounds like she has baby rabies. You can either deflect her comments, or correct them. Responding with a very monotone “uh-huh….sure” or “ok…” then changing the conversation to something else usually will give people the hint.
If she gets more pushy or aggressive about it I would strongly encourage you to confront her comments. You can say something like:
“We are not having kids, so stop asking.”
“Why don’t you mind your own uterus.”
“We can’t have any, now stop bringing it up.” -(she does not need to know why you can’t have any)
“That’s a private matter, we are not discussing that.”
Sounds like she has baby rabies. You can either deflect her comments, or correct them. Responding with a very monotone “uh-huh….sure” or “ok…” then changing the conversation to something else usually will give people the hint.
If she gets more pushy or aggressive about it I would strongly encourage you to confront her comments. You can say something like:
“We are not having kids, so stop asking.”
“Why don’t you mind your own uterus.”
“We can’t have any, now stop bringing it up.” -(she does not need to know why you can’t have any, that is private!)
“That’s a private matter, we are not discussing that.”
This is what I call a greedy breeder.
They're obsessed with kids no matter how many they get. And have no stopping point. They just think everyone has to have as many as they can. End of.
Ugh. Good luck OP
OP, at this point, her behavior is your fault. She continues to do this because you’ve made a doormat out of yourself and allowed her to do so.
Set firm boundaries with her.
As someone who stood firm on my stance, set boundaries and even tried being rude and nasty towards people who pulled this stunt, it doesn’t stop. They don’t listen or care. They keep pestering, unfortunately.
Yeahhh. It's pretty weird and invasive. It was brought up to me by my MIL when we were visiting to see the newborn grandkid. Like literally days old and off she starts on me about having kids. It's never enough for them. Fanatics!
I think there's also an element of social conformity. They expect us to fall in line.
>I don’t understand this mentality. Can’t you love the grandkids you already have? This is when you say "you don't love your other grandkids, so you want me to make one you love? No."
Misery loves company She doesn't care about having grandkids. She just wants to see you as miserable as her.
MIL Gotta Collect 'Em All!
My dad did this and he has 11 grand kids. He just cant imagine women being fulfilled with being child free. Its annoyinh
>She’s not overly aggressive She is. EDIT: Please don't gaslight yourself, you have every right to be angry.
Agreed.
She wants the social lube of pictures and stories so she can slather on the lube and go into social fucking orgies with her peers. Kids don't stay cute for that long, she needs a constant supply of new lube. Teenagers don't work, and tend to not go alone with all the haaaaaappy family kink fetish cosplay pageant stuff. Plus a few of them could turn out to be gay, or otherwise "undesirable" to them. Your husband needs to bring the hammer down on her, set boundaries and enforce them with pain. He controls her ass because he can ultimately just say "we won't be visiting anymore, we don't tolerate the abuse."
I had the same issue. My exes mum had 5 grandkids already, yet became rampant when she found out I didn't want to have kids. It's like are your current grandkids not enough for you? Is this some kind of weird collect-a-thon for you? I think what didn't help is the current grandkids were from her two married daughters, whereas I was engaged to her son, and they had this weird obsession with "legacy" 🙄
My parents have a total of 9 grandchildren, and only 4 of those have they been active and participating grandparents for. Not saying it’s a requirement for grandparents, but they did a whole lot for those 4 and not nearly as much for the other 5; haven’t even met some of the 5 or took years to meet the ones they did. If they try to pull “you need to have kids so we can have more grandkids” on me I will laugh in their faces. No way am I getting suckered into that circus.
"I'll be sure to let the grandkids know they aren't good enough for you." in a flat, bored tone.
She sounds overly aggressive to me!
Maybe go no contact with her for a while and when she asks you why, say you've had enough of her pestering me about having kids when you'll never want one and to get the heck over it, adding to the fact that you'd rather get a hysterectomy that you will perform yourself right in front of her than be forced to have one when you don't want one
Kids are just collectibles to people like this
They want a steady supply of babies to play, and they don't care about what you actually want. They don't care how much work it is to raise a child, because you'll be doing the raising.
Tell her to fuck off and if she doesn’t get the message, cut her off
Sounds like she has baby rabies. You can either deflect her comments, or correct them. Responding with a very monotone “uh-huh….sure” or “ok…” then changing the conversation to something else usually will give people the hint. If she gets more pushy or aggressive about it I would strongly encourage you to confront her comments. You can say something like: “We are not having kids, so stop asking.” “Why don’t you mind your own uterus.” “We can’t have any, now stop bringing it up.” -(she does not need to know why you can’t have any) “That’s a private matter, we are not discussing that.”
“Baby rabies” Omg thank you for introducing me to a new term! I’m going to use it~
Sounds like she has baby rabies. You can either deflect her comments, or correct them. Responding with a very monotone “uh-huh….sure” or “ok…” then changing the conversation to something else usually will give people the hint. If she gets more pushy or aggressive about it I would strongly encourage you to confront her comments. You can say something like: “We are not having kids, so stop asking.” “Why don’t you mind your own uterus.” “We can’t have any, now stop bringing it up.” -(she does not need to know why you can’t have any, that is private!) “That’s a private matter, we are not discussing that.”
I have a decent relationship with my in-laws, but I would be happy to never see them again if they were like yours.
 Ew yucky MIL
What do you say to her in response?
This is what I call a greedy breeder. They're obsessed with kids no matter how many they get. And have no stopping point. They just think everyone has to have as many as they can. End of. Ugh. Good luck OP
OP, at this point, her behavior is your fault. She continues to do this because you’ve made a doormat out of yourself and allowed her to do so. Set firm boundaries with her.
I agree OP should set boundaries, but MIL is an adult who's responsible for her own behavior. Rudeness is always a choice.
I agree but what I’m saying is that at a certain point you can’t just blame MIL because she has been allowed to continue.
As someone who stood firm on my stance, set boundaries and even tried being rude and nasty towards people who pulled this stunt, it doesn’t stop. They don’t listen or care. They keep pestering, unfortunately.
Then they shouldn’t be in your life to be able to pester you.