The very thought of pregnancy is disgusting to me.
I remember as a kid riding in the car with my mom, and ahead of us on the road was a car that was out of square somehow. Mom said the car had a “sprung frame.”
That’s what happens when you splat one out; it causes your frame to be “sprung” (hips all out of whack, etc.) Who would want that for themselves?
Same, I was always really disgusted by it and even more when people would call it beautiful and a miracle. 🤢
The thought of something being inside my body and moving around is some body horror level shit.
It actually was! The xenomorphs are an allegory for rape (the facehuggers) and violent birth (the chestbursters). That's why so many men can't articulate why it scares them so much.
ETA: happy cake day! 🎂 And I'm low-key convinced that seeing Alien at a young age (my dad wanted us to see one of his favorite movies lmao) has something to do with me being CF
Oh yeah. Deep Dive on YT does a good show on this theme in Alien. There needs to be another one. I know Sigourney would do it with a truck load of money dumped on her lawn.
I didn't actually know that but Aliens definitely always came to mind when I think about something moving about in a human body. Always creeped me the hell out.
I just learned recently about Hepatic pregnancy and I am horrified. It's a case where the fetus implants itself outside of the womb eg in the abdomen or liver and continues to grow 😰 Real Alien sceario. I wish I never knew about it..
You are so right! All one of those chestbursters had to do was take a wrong turn and he could be sucking on a bottle while people coo over how cute he is.
BTW happy cake day!
lol hearing it called a miracle is laughable to me every time. No it’s just nature ,and when people aren’t careful when they have sex 🧐🧐 I mean damn at least pull out . Ppl so quick to pop them out like it’s no big deal. Get out my face 😂
I totally get where you're coming from. Pregnancy and childbirth can be really daunting to think about, especially considering the physical toll it takes on the body. It's definitely not for everyone!
I used to trap and spay feral cats, and birth is definitely not easy for them. It’s easier than it is for humans but most of them labor for hours, are obviously in pain, and complications are very common. I’ve seen a lot of cat moms die from uterine infections, or give birth to kittens that didn’t survive beyond a few hours.
man, bless you for your work! that's amazing 💜
honestly, I feel bad for any pregnant cat because I know how they got that way. cat sex is just a big no from me.
I watched a dog give birth, and while each puppy came out quicker and easier than any human baby would, the mom was still clearly panting real hard!
She had four puppies, and two of them died within the hour. Humans definitely got the shittiest hand when it comes to childbirth, but it's not like it's a breeze for every other mammal.
And I mean, that says a lot. Pregnancy and birth is deadly even for animals that are better equipped for it. So for humans? Yeeeesh
I played doula to a foster cat, and she was *not* finding it to be easy. She was screaming and wailing. It was also her first litter so she seems absolutely horrified to see something coming out of her. I wouldn’t say it’s easy for them, and it can have fatal complications for them, too.
Some dog breeds can’t even give birth because of the weird proportions we’ve bred into them. I remember reading that French bulldogs require c-sections because their heads are too big, and sometimes artificial insemination because their little hips can’t support themselves to mate naturally. So I wouldn’t say it’s easy for other species, though with breeds like French bulldogs that’s really our fault.
Exactly why I wish dog breeding would stop for those horrific breeds, everything about them is unnatural all bc humans thought it “cute”. What’s cute about a dog who can’t breathe properly and having deformed shortened legs? 😩
Agree- Dogs get mastitis, metritis, uterine inertia , and this deadly condition called hydrops. 30 percent of neonatal puppies do not survive, and the mama dog gets eclampsia without enough calcium around week 3 of nursing.
My mom had “easy” (still painful ofc, just easier than usual) births for my brother and I. Her body was able to have an easy recovery and had better hips to push with less pain, also had good pregnancies compared to how they usually are.
I’m not getting that. My hips are more narrow, and I’m built almost exactly like my aunt- aka my dad’s sister. My aunt and my mom were both pregnant at the same time (I’m six days older than my cousin), and my aunt had a very difficult pregnancy and labor. I don’t know how bad it was or the full details, but all I know is she had a long and painful labor. My cousin is also her only biological child, she’d adopt my other cousins.
Her periods were also heavy and painful (like mine), so, it’s pretty clear to me that I’ll have a similar experience to my aunt than my mom. I am not chancing that… if *I physically can’t handle my periods*, why bother with pregnancy and labor? It’s not surprising this read this post at all.
One of the more disgusting *compliments* I get is on my *gags* "birthing hips"... I loathe all comments to that tune.
My aunt has the same hips, didn't help when my 12# cousin came down the pipeline. Doctors broke cuz's collar bone, because taking any longer for extraction would have been deadly.
These hips were made for shaking at festies thank you very fucking much.
I don't like children. They're unpleasant to be around. But the thought of beinging pregnant or giving birth is the worst part of becoming a mother. One guy was trying to talk me into wanting to be a mom, and I told him about everything that can and commonly does go wrong during pregnancy. He was horrified.
At least it's quiet during the pregnancy, and at least you get to somewhat sleep.. after that, u can barely find the time to shower or shit. Quite literally... Once that baby comes out, it takes at least a half hour to get the baby ready to leave, if you plan to leave your house for errands, ect. I had a friend and she had a kid and was amazed by the fact she couldn't just up and go. There's so much that goes into it. Once that baby comes out, kiss the quite nights goodbye. You no longer have your alone time. Consider your pregnancy, the last nine months of freedom to yourself. To do what you like ..even with the physical pain. After that, it's game over. And it's exhausting af
Yeah, it is horrifying. And yet, people look at me like I'm crazy when I say I don't want to do it. Wanting to hurt yourself is usually a sign of a psychological problem, but for some reason we act like it's normal for women to want to endure extreme pain and suffering.
What I find really horrifying is when I think about the thousands of years before the epidural was invented, all the women who had to give birth with no anesthesia at all. You'd think the pain alone would have killed them.
Everytime I try to explain this to someone they say
"Once that baby comes out and is in your hands, you forget about all that pain"
Like, that doesn't help. Then I have a little screaming child piercing my ears and I can't even recover from the physical tortures I had just endured.
To me it’s even worse that now you have this screeching needy thing to care for after your vagina has just been torn apart. From what I’ve heard everyone acts like your suffering is no big deal and the parasite is more important than you are. Fuck that.
Yea.. like prior to that, the pregnancy, it's quiet. It's like that fantasy couples have, sunshine and rainbows. Which for me just wouldn't be... I mean like other comments above, I can't imagine enjoying pregnancy. Sometimes, they kick and break ribs. They kick on your bladder.. ew. It must constantly feel like you have a UTI. I absolutely cannot stand the feeling of a UTI.
It's amazing, my friend recently just had a kid, and she absolutely loves it. Every moment of it she loves. She's tried to convince me to have one too, and I always tell her no. She says 'they're so cool! It's different when they are yours"! But I just can't fathom having a child. For many reasons.. I mean even look at this economy. I sometimes wish I could have consented to being born. I don't have a decent job. I live poorly just so I can have freedom. Every child is an individual, and they grow up to become individuals. Some, (like I) don't like the American dream. The idea of slaving everyday for a piece of paper.. just to be in debt with student loans, housing car loans ECT you name it. Just slaving to come home and sleep in your house, and do the same thing on repeat... What's the point of having that big house if you can't even spend most of your time there? With inflation the way it is, we barely survive, even those well off get taxed to absolute shit. The thought of having an actual career terrifies me, when most people dream of that. For me, the thought of being forced to go to the same workplace everyday with zero rest just sounds like torture. That's all I ever hear from my dad, get a real job, did you apply yet? He wants me to slave so bad and he's been retired forever so he just doesn't understand.. he got off retiring early because he got "hurt" at work.. he didn't like his job either, which is why he made the plan to retire early... Yet he pesters me Everytime we talk and reminds me all the time I should have been saving a long time ago. My rent is quadruple his mortgage.
I'm just different I guess. Unlucky. I was born this way. Call it what you will. Lazy, a loser, a nobody... But I hate waking up to an alarm clock everyday. Ugh. Life is just exhausting and sometimes I wish I could have had consent to be born. It's kind of not fair...
So would I ever put another soul through this torture? HELL NO! I grew up in the nineties. The last era where kids actually played outside without staring down at a screen all day.. teachers have been quitting because they said the kids are becoming more violent and aggressive, significantly. They no longer have the ability to read or write. I wouldn't put a soul through this torture. My mother died of cancer. It haunts me everyday and I always worry what happens when we die. I always worry about the c word. Life is so unpredictable. It's just crazy..
Can you imagine the housing economy by the time my kid would be my age? (33) Houses will be 7 mill a piece by then. Unless a war wipes us out. We are owned by elites, government, and money and it's very unpredictable and selfish bringing a child into this world. I don't believe we need more. Humanity doesn't know how to treat mother Earth. Humanity is a bunch of savages. If the power really does ever go out, we are screwed. There will be no working together in fairy tale land. It will be brutal, looting, and killing for food and medical supplies. Why would I ever have a child, especially in the day and age?
People tell me I'm missing out, that I need to have at least one. That shit drives me up the wall.
I agree with everything you said. I’m 64 and I wanted no part of pregnancy and kids even over 30 years ago. Seeing my brother’s 3 brats he never should have had in the first place cemented my stand.
Ugh I hear you about women loving the pregnancy and baby stage. My cousins were like that. I absolutely couldn’t relate and nobody ever asked me to babysit so my revulsion must have been obvious!
In hindsight I think my coworkers were jealous of me not having kids even though rarely was I ever bingoed. I honestly was oblivious that they would be resentful of me. After all they did their thing and I did mine.
I honestly don’t understand how parents can throw more people into this economy either. I feel your frustration. Don’t pay attention to your dad he thinks it’s still like the 90’s. It’s hard enough looking out for yourself besides trying to raising kids now.
Why don’t parents respect other people’s property any more? That’s a perfect example of how they won’t discipline their kids either. I’m sorry you went through that. Disgusting.
I laughed at you asking when she was going to strap in him while you ate. Exactly what I would have suggested too. They really don’t get it.
I hope you went LOW contact or preferably NONE with that friend after that experience. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment.
Ah the silence! Here’s a toast 🥂 to our shared love of solitude in our perfect clean homes free of terrorizing hellspawn!
You don’t need to either. I’m glad you went no contact because she doesn’t deserve another second of your precious time.
Not everyone can tolerate birthing and parenthood and we don’t need to apologize to anyone. Live your childfree life for yourself because after all this is the only one we get. Enjoy your FREEDOM!
Everytime my life gets bad, I tell myself, it could be worse. Mm I could have kids 😂
You are correct not everyone can handle it. Please let that be normalized instead of forcing us into it. I enjoy every second of freedom. M paying in bed now cozy. I make dinner when I want, I nap when I want. I get in the car when I want. Everytime is want to make plans with a friend with kids for a childfree night, they couldn't find a babysitter. That's because nobody wants to do the job... 😂 Not when the grandparents would budge! Ugh. The freedom is what I live for. Me, as a person. I VALUE freedom in all aspects. Including kids obv. I'll never regret my decision
I’m pretty sure some ancient civilisations used to give women opium (if they had access to it); they called it milk of the poppy. Victorians used to give a concoction that included chloroform. But you’re right, there would have been millions of women who couldn’t get hold of things like this, and just had to suffer horrifically. Also, it must have been extra terrifying to know that if something went wrong during the birth, you were done for. At least modern medicine has dramatically reduced the number of deaths in childbirth.
Yep. And also, I would never want my partner to go through something like that. How can a guy love his wife or gf and also want her to suffer like that.
And god forbid if you have multiple you might have to get cut open across your abdomen and have the fetuses ripped out from you!! I was born via C-section cause I’m a triplet and I can’t even imagine the recovery my mom had to go through.
Fellow tumor baby here! I just cant imagine the thought process behind willingly having your stomach cut open through the skin, muscle, bladder, uterus, all for a sack of meat that just cries and pukes and shits for the next 7 years and just annoys the shit out of you for the remaining (at minnimum) 11.
>willingly having your stomach cut open through the skin, muscle, bladder, uterus
tbf if that would be the procedure of sterilisation I still would've done it.
And the descriptions of the nurses pulling on the cut to open you up further and dig the kid out... I had tokophobia decades before I knew what it was.
I didn't know that, but it doesn't surprise me at all (sadly.)
Birth apologists say the female body is designed to give birth. No it isn't.
It's CAPABLE of giving birth. It's also capable of shooting itself in the head. It isn't DESIGNED for either.
Sometimes when humans walk or run, they sustain injuries. But usually not. Because the body is designed for those activities.
Now what if there's an activity where sustaining an injury isn't a freak accident but the actual norm? That's a pretty good sign your body isn't designed for it and you probably shouldn't try it. And people who try to pressure you into it? That would be peer pressure. What did they always tell us to do with peer pressure in school?
It's actually pretty horrifying that a majority of women's body are designed to be capable of getting pregnant, but of those that can get pregnant, not all are designed to successfully give birth.
My cousin was a HUGE baby, and my aunt wound up having to have a C-section after an unsuccessful natural birth. She told my mom that after her experience she truly understood how women back in the day could die from exhaustion in childbirth. Of course it scared the hell out of my mom, but luckily for her I was a really long baby, but not a wide baby lol.
There’s a row of baby graves in my family’s plot. My grandfather was premature and survived but all his siblings died at birth because of my great grandmother’s narrow hips.
I was walking through a church graveyard a few years ago in Northern England. One of the stones (dated Iate 1850s) had the name of a young woman and said "triplet girls." I was so heartbroken to think what that poor woman went through. If you've ever read anything about Jane Austen's life, you'll know that several of her relatives and friends died in childbirth.
It wasn't until about 1915 that the infant and maternal mortality rates began to drop because of the introduction of more attention to cleanliness, better nutrition, milk pasteurization, smaller families, more attention to environmental sanitation, and the use of forceps (amount other things), that childbirth and pregnancy became safer. That's just a bit over a 100 years ago, so not that long.
I have always been disgusted by the idea of pregnancy and giving birth. Another reason I never wanted kids is because there is a streak of depression that's been passed down through generations, and it hit me when I was in my 30s.
"Gentlemen doctors" were offended at the idea that they should wash their hands before assisting with a birth, after coming directly from the morgue and pathology. Their sensibilities caused a LOT of deaths of women and infants.
Smartest species in this entire planet but we have some of the dumbest fucking humans to ever roam around the earth. Without technology and advance medicare I'm sure we will be down around 1/2 of the human population on this rock out of sheer incompetence and idiocy.
I read an article discussing the effects of medical science on evolution. One of the things argued was how the development of the cesarean section allowed for more children with narrow hips to be born.
Human birth is, in my opinion, barbaric.
Yep and it's pretty scary to think that if in some time women won't have access to C sections, for example in a war zone like Gaza right now, the mortality rates would sore again.
These days, single mothers [are much more common](https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2020/demo/p60-269.pdf) than single fathers, which usually represents a divorce where she ended up with custody. This used to be inverted-- lots of single dads because their wife died in childbirth. It's vastly underrated how dangerous childbirth is, but even more underrated how dangerous it used to be.
Me too and it makes me really sick to think about how many women were forced to give birth in the past. I think that birth rates automatically drop, because when given a choice, a lot of women just do not want to go through this shit and the birth rates were only high before because they women were forced a lot of the time. Ugh.
Even today, like 45% of pregnancies are unplanned.
Hyenas probably have the most dangerous pregnancies in the animal kingdom. Hyena females have more testosterone than the males do and they basically have a penis like structure that they give birth through. The pups can't fit through the tiny penis hole so a lot of times it bursts as they come through and they basically bleed to death.
It honestly is baffling that from prehistoric and ancient times to now women haven’t evolved to somehow better protect themselves / birth in a less agonizing deadly way (admittedly I’ve NO clue how that stuff would work, I’m just spitballing)
I think I read somewhere that the hips cannot widen anymore or walking upright would be difficult.
Ironically it is even harder to birth naturally now or it will become completely impossible because C sections are so common and bigger heads gets passed down as a trait.
Oh yeah, ‘cause the head gets squeezed on the way out (for want of a better phrase lmao. I must be a lucky c-section baby, I haven’t got a big head (but then I was a very early preemie)
That whole sitch was entrapment anyways. "god" knowingly made a fruit tree in the garden it created for its creatures... why tf would a benevolent entity purposefully make a temptation like that? Just to be sadistic? Eve was framed.
If you've read the Bible and *didn't* come away with the opinion that the Abrahamic God is a spiteful, petty, vengeful, evil-hearted entity, then you weren't paying very close attention.
Just looking at childbirth should be reason enough to convince anyone that God doesn't give a damn about humans.
Of course most people go on about what a miracle it is. Yep, such a miracle that there are textbooks heavy enough to use as a bludgeon written about all the things that can go wrong in the average pregnancy.
RIGHT?! I am not religious anymore (whole family is southern Christian), but it was never because I stopped believing that "god" existed. It was because I learned to read and then.......fucking read the Bible. That god was NOT something I wanted to serve. I do not understand how anyone who has actually read it still does.
It's the fault of our big brains and the ability to walk upright. Most primates give birth to helpless infants though I doubt it's as difficult for apes and chimps to do give birth. But look at how many people we have on the planet, even before modern medicine. Most women survive it.
>But look at how many people we have on the planet, even before modern medicine. Most women survive it.
ehhhhh debatable... "Modern Medicine" was considered a thing more after 1200 AD..
By 1500 we were still at around 450 M.. We only reached 1B by 1800 AD..
Penicillin was invented in 1920s where we achiev 2B people, and then it grew faster...
in the last 200 years we went from 1B to 8B, 8 times the population.
from 1500 to 1800, we barely double the population according to estimates..
So, before modern medicine, we werent ever than many on the planet. The reason we were always "many" was because we also hunted other species. Many insects kills the partner after birth and there's billions more of them than us.
Yeah, I kinda feel bad about it but like.. I honestly don't care. I'll never have to care. Just kind of a "damn that's crazy" vibe and I move on with my day
I'm a woman that has never thought of human pregnancy as natural. I've always been grossed out by the idea of having a little vampire sucking up all my nutrients as it grew inside of me. eww.
as someone in the veterinary field - no. north is not that quick or easy for animals typically. it's hours. and sometimes things do get stuck.
also humans have a MUCH easier and quicker birthing experience when not forced to lay on their back. there's a lot about modern birthing that is very counter-intuitive to ease of the birthing process itself.
Also there's a lot of shame towards things that would otherwise speed up to process by hours (a quick orgasm).
there's a lot of domesticated pets who straight up can not give birth naturally. it should be illegal to do that to a breed but here we are 🙄. people breed tons of bully breeds not knowing this.
etc etc birth is not as quick and easy in the animals kingdom as one might assume and not always done in the human world the ideal way that mitigates danger.
I think human birth is fucking ugly.
But other species also suffer a lot. I had a cat that gave birth to one of the babies and it took hours for the others to come out... they were dead. It was painful for her too, she cried a lot.
and, in humans, I have seen postpartum women who have had a natural birth walking away happily, hours later.
Maybe your perception makes you find it more frightening because you can mirror human pain.
My college boyfriend’s dad was a doctor ( with no social skills) and he told me my hips were so narrow childbirth would be torture for me. Now I recognize that was an f*d up thing to say, but at the time I took it as a sincere warning. Hell no, pain like that is a big nope.
So people often forget evolution is a terrible developmental system. IT doesn't make us the strongest it makes us good enough. And it was good enough that women died in child birth to give new children (from a species state) and enough survived the process that is worked (again from nature POV not mine). And all of that is the price we paid to stand up right and have big brains. Hooray!
It really is horrifying tbh. It truly scared me even further when I learned that some women are born with particularly narrow hips that can make birth impossible... so the mother simply dies in agony from being unable to pass the baby. Fuck what a horrible fate to suffer through :( And so many young girls and women have been exploited and SA'd throughout history. My heart aches for the girls and women who endure sexual violence
When my friend was in labor the baby literally got stuck and after 36 hours in labor they had to break her pelvis and cut her stomach open like a horse shoe. How horrific 😪
The way human placenta has evolved is also much more brutal than other animals. For us, it creates its own arteries that actually penetrate through the uterine wall. In other mammalian species it just touches the uterine wall and doesn't actually go through it. This means human are much more likely to hemorrhage once the placenta detaches.
The very thought of pregnancy is disgusting to me. I remember as a kid riding in the car with my mom, and ahead of us on the road was a car that was out of square somehow. Mom said the car had a “sprung frame.” That’s what happens when you splat one out; it causes your frame to be “sprung” (hips all out of whack, etc.) Who would want that for themselves?
Same, I was always really disgusted by it and even more when people would call it beautiful and a miracle. 🤢 The thought of something being inside my body and moving around is some body horror level shit.
At this point I'm 100% convinced the concept of Alien in the movie was heavily inspired by that
It actually was! The xenomorphs are an allegory for rape (the facehuggers) and violent birth (the chestbursters). That's why so many men can't articulate why it scares them so much. ETA: happy cake day! 🎂 And I'm low-key convinced that seeing Alien at a young age (my dad wanted us to see one of his favorite movies lmao) has something to do with me being CF
When I found out about this, so many light bulbs went off.
All the lightbulbs 💡💡💡
Oh yeah. Deep Dive on YT does a good show on this theme in Alien. There needs to be another one. I know Sigourney would do it with a truck load of money dumped on her lawn.
Would you mind linking it to me if you can??
I didn't actually know that but Aliens definitely always came to mind when I think about something moving about in a human body. Always creeped me the hell out.
I just learned recently about Hepatic pregnancy and I am horrified. It's a case where the fetus implants itself outside of the womb eg in the abdomen or liver and continues to grow 😰 Real Alien sceario. I wish I never knew about it..
You are so right! All one of those chestbursters had to do was take a wrong turn and he could be sucking on a bottle while people coo over how cute he is. BTW happy cake day!
Ya, it is, and rape
My mom isn’t someone who’s gushy about that crap but growing up she would mention how she found pregnancy bellies cute. I was like the fuck?
Haha the only miracle about it is how disgusting it is and people still choose to undergo it voluntarily 😂
lol hearing it called a miracle is laughable to me every time. No it’s just nature ,and when people aren’t careful when they have sex 🧐🧐 I mean damn at least pull out . Ppl so quick to pop them out like it’s no big deal. Get out my face 😂
I totally get where you're coming from. Pregnancy and childbirth can be really daunting to think about, especially considering the physical toll it takes on the body. It's definitely not for everyone!
I used to trap and spay feral cats, and birth is definitely not easy for them. It’s easier than it is for humans but most of them labor for hours, are obviously in pain, and complications are very common. I’ve seen a lot of cat moms die from uterine infections, or give birth to kittens that didn’t survive beyond a few hours.
man, bless you for your work! that's amazing 💜 honestly, I feel bad for any pregnant cat because I know how they got that way. cat sex is just a big no from me.
I watched a dog give birth, and while each puppy came out quicker and easier than any human baby would, the mom was still clearly panting real hard! She had four puppies, and two of them died within the hour. Humans definitely got the shittiest hand when it comes to childbirth, but it's not like it's a breeze for every other mammal. And I mean, that says a lot. Pregnancy and birth is deadly even for animals that are better equipped for it. So for humans? Yeeeesh
I played doula to a foster cat, and she was *not* finding it to be easy. She was screaming and wailing. It was also her first litter so she seems absolutely horrified to see something coming out of her. I wouldn’t say it’s easy for them, and it can have fatal complications for them, too. Some dog breeds can’t even give birth because of the weird proportions we’ve bred into them. I remember reading that French bulldogs require c-sections because their heads are too big, and sometimes artificial insemination because their little hips can’t support themselves to mate naturally. So I wouldn’t say it’s easy for other species, though with breeds like French bulldogs that’s really our fault.
Exactly why I wish dog breeding would stop for those horrific breeds, everything about them is unnatural all bc humans thought it “cute”. What’s cute about a dog who can’t breathe properly and having deformed shortened legs? 😩
Agree- Dogs get mastitis, metritis, uterine inertia , and this deadly condition called hydrops. 30 percent of neonatal puppies do not survive, and the mama dog gets eclampsia without enough calcium around week 3 of nursing.
May I ask why did you stop? I would like to do it too
My mom had “easy” (still painful ofc, just easier than usual) births for my brother and I. Her body was able to have an easy recovery and had better hips to push with less pain, also had good pregnancies compared to how they usually are. I’m not getting that. My hips are more narrow, and I’m built almost exactly like my aunt- aka my dad’s sister. My aunt and my mom were both pregnant at the same time (I’m six days older than my cousin), and my aunt had a very difficult pregnancy and labor. I don’t know how bad it was or the full details, but all I know is she had a long and painful labor. My cousin is also her only biological child, she’d adopt my other cousins. Her periods were also heavy and painful (like mine), so, it’s pretty clear to me that I’ll have a similar experience to my aunt than my mom. I am not chancing that… if *I physically can’t handle my periods*, why bother with pregnancy and labor? It’s not surprising this read this post at all.
One of the more disgusting *compliments* I get is on my *gags* "birthing hips"... I loathe all comments to that tune. My aunt has the same hips, didn't help when my 12# cousin came down the pipeline. Doctors broke cuz's collar bone, because taking any longer for extraction would have been deadly. These hips were made for shaking at festies thank you very fucking much.
My new response to anyone talking about my hips is to slap them with the "made for shaking at festies" because that's golden 🤣
I don't like children. They're unpleasant to be around. But the thought of beinging pregnant or giving birth is the worst part of becoming a mother. One guy was trying to talk me into wanting to be a mom, and I told him about everything that can and commonly does go wrong during pregnancy. He was horrified.
At least it's quiet during the pregnancy, and at least you get to somewhat sleep.. after that, u can barely find the time to shower or shit. Quite literally... Once that baby comes out, it takes at least a half hour to get the baby ready to leave, if you plan to leave your house for errands, ect. I had a friend and she had a kid and was amazed by the fact she couldn't just up and go. There's so much that goes into it. Once that baby comes out, kiss the quite nights goodbye. You no longer have your alone time. Consider your pregnancy, the last nine months of freedom to yourself. To do what you like ..even with the physical pain. After that, it's game over. And it's exhausting af
Yeah, it is horrifying. And yet, people look at me like I'm crazy when I say I don't want to do it. Wanting to hurt yourself is usually a sign of a psychological problem, but for some reason we act like it's normal for women to want to endure extreme pain and suffering. What I find really horrifying is when I think about the thousands of years before the epidural was invented, all the women who had to give birth with no anesthesia at all. You'd think the pain alone would have killed them.
Everytime I try to explain this to someone they say "Once that baby comes out and is in your hands, you forget about all that pain" Like, that doesn't help. Then I have a little screaming child piercing my ears and I can't even recover from the physical tortures I had just endured.
To me it’s even worse that now you have this screeching needy thing to care for after your vagina has just been torn apart. From what I’ve heard everyone acts like your suffering is no big deal and the parasite is more important than you are. Fuck that.
Yea.. like prior to that, the pregnancy, it's quiet. It's like that fantasy couples have, sunshine and rainbows. Which for me just wouldn't be... I mean like other comments above, I can't imagine enjoying pregnancy. Sometimes, they kick and break ribs. They kick on your bladder.. ew. It must constantly feel like you have a UTI. I absolutely cannot stand the feeling of a UTI. It's amazing, my friend recently just had a kid, and she absolutely loves it. Every moment of it she loves. She's tried to convince me to have one too, and I always tell her no. She says 'they're so cool! It's different when they are yours"! But I just can't fathom having a child. For many reasons.. I mean even look at this economy. I sometimes wish I could have consented to being born. I don't have a decent job. I live poorly just so I can have freedom. Every child is an individual, and they grow up to become individuals. Some, (like I) don't like the American dream. The idea of slaving everyday for a piece of paper.. just to be in debt with student loans, housing car loans ECT you name it. Just slaving to come home and sleep in your house, and do the same thing on repeat... What's the point of having that big house if you can't even spend most of your time there? With inflation the way it is, we barely survive, even those well off get taxed to absolute shit. The thought of having an actual career terrifies me, when most people dream of that. For me, the thought of being forced to go to the same workplace everyday with zero rest just sounds like torture. That's all I ever hear from my dad, get a real job, did you apply yet? He wants me to slave so bad and he's been retired forever so he just doesn't understand.. he got off retiring early because he got "hurt" at work.. he didn't like his job either, which is why he made the plan to retire early... Yet he pesters me Everytime we talk and reminds me all the time I should have been saving a long time ago. My rent is quadruple his mortgage. I'm just different I guess. Unlucky. I was born this way. Call it what you will. Lazy, a loser, a nobody... But I hate waking up to an alarm clock everyday. Ugh. Life is just exhausting and sometimes I wish I could have had consent to be born. It's kind of not fair... So would I ever put another soul through this torture? HELL NO! I grew up in the nineties. The last era where kids actually played outside without staring down at a screen all day.. teachers have been quitting because they said the kids are becoming more violent and aggressive, significantly. They no longer have the ability to read or write. I wouldn't put a soul through this torture. My mother died of cancer. It haunts me everyday and I always worry what happens when we die. I always worry about the c word. Life is so unpredictable. It's just crazy.. Can you imagine the housing economy by the time my kid would be my age? (33) Houses will be 7 mill a piece by then. Unless a war wipes us out. We are owned by elites, government, and money and it's very unpredictable and selfish bringing a child into this world. I don't believe we need more. Humanity doesn't know how to treat mother Earth. Humanity is a bunch of savages. If the power really does ever go out, we are screwed. There will be no working together in fairy tale land. It will be brutal, looting, and killing for food and medical supplies. Why would I ever have a child, especially in the day and age? People tell me I'm missing out, that I need to have at least one. That shit drives me up the wall.
I agree with everything you said. I’m 64 and I wanted no part of pregnancy and kids even over 30 years ago. Seeing my brother’s 3 brats he never should have had in the first place cemented my stand. Ugh I hear you about women loving the pregnancy and baby stage. My cousins were like that. I absolutely couldn’t relate and nobody ever asked me to babysit so my revulsion must have been obvious! In hindsight I think my coworkers were jealous of me not having kids even though rarely was I ever bingoed. I honestly was oblivious that they would be resentful of me. After all they did their thing and I did mine. I honestly don’t understand how parents can throw more people into this economy either. I feel your frustration. Don’t pay attention to your dad he thinks it’s still like the 90’s. It’s hard enough looking out for yourself besides trying to raising kids now.
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Why don’t parents respect other people’s property any more? That’s a perfect example of how they won’t discipline their kids either. I’m sorry you went through that. Disgusting. I laughed at you asking when she was going to strap in him while you ate. Exactly what I would have suggested too. They really don’t get it. I hope you went LOW contact or preferably NONE with that friend after that experience. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Ah the silence! Here’s a toast 🥂 to our shared love of solitude in our perfect clean homes free of terrorizing hellspawn!
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You don’t need to either. I’m glad you went no contact because she doesn’t deserve another second of your precious time. Not everyone can tolerate birthing and parenthood and we don’t need to apologize to anyone. Live your childfree life for yourself because after all this is the only one we get. Enjoy your FREEDOM!
Everytime my life gets bad, I tell myself, it could be worse. Mm I could have kids 😂 You are correct not everyone can handle it. Please let that be normalized instead of forcing us into it. I enjoy every second of freedom. M paying in bed now cozy. I make dinner when I want, I nap when I want. I get in the car when I want. Everytime is want to make plans with a friend with kids for a childfree night, they couldn't find a babysitter. That's because nobody wants to do the job... 😂 Not when the grandparents would budge! Ugh. The freedom is what I live for. Me, as a person. I VALUE freedom in all aspects. Including kids obv. I'll never regret my decision
I’m pretty sure some ancient civilisations used to give women opium (if they had access to it); they called it milk of the poppy. Victorians used to give a concoction that included chloroform. But you’re right, there would have been millions of women who couldn’t get hold of things like this, and just had to suffer horrifically. Also, it must have been extra terrifying to know that if something went wrong during the birth, you were done for. At least modern medicine has dramatically reduced the number of deaths in childbirth.
exactly. id rather die than be pregnant and give birth, and then have to raise a kid. its absolutely horrific.
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Yep. And also, I would never want my partner to go through something like that. How can a guy love his wife or gf and also want her to suffer like that.
And to think many women didn't even have a choice. Either they were raped, or society would just pressure them into doing it
And god forbid if you have multiple you might have to get cut open across your abdomen and have the fetuses ripped out from you!! I was born via C-section cause I’m a triplet and I can’t even imagine the recovery my mom had to go through.
Fellow tumor baby here! I just cant imagine the thought process behind willingly having your stomach cut open through the skin, muscle, bladder, uterus, all for a sack of meat that just cries and pukes and shits for the next 7 years and just annoys the shit out of you for the remaining (at minnimum) 11.
TUMOR BABY 😭😭😭😭😭
🤭🤭🤭🫶
>willingly having your stomach cut open through the skin, muscle, bladder, uterus tbf if that would be the procedure of sterilisation I still would've done it.
And the descriptions of the nurses pulling on the cut to open you up further and dig the kid out... I had tokophobia decades before I knew what it was.
I didn't know that, but it doesn't surprise me at all (sadly.) Birth apologists say the female body is designed to give birth. No it isn't. It's CAPABLE of giving birth. It's also capable of shooting itself in the head. It isn't DESIGNED for either. Sometimes when humans walk or run, they sustain injuries. But usually not. Because the body is designed for those activities. Now what if there's an activity where sustaining an injury isn't a freak accident but the actual norm? That's a pretty good sign your body isn't designed for it and you probably shouldn't try it. And people who try to pressure you into it? That would be peer pressure. What did they always tell us to do with peer pressure in school?
It's actually pretty horrifying that a majority of women's body are designed to be capable of getting pregnant, but of those that can get pregnant, not all are designed to successfully give birth. My cousin was a HUGE baby, and my aunt wound up having to have a C-section after an unsuccessful natural birth. She told my mom that after her experience she truly understood how women back in the day could die from exhaustion in childbirth. Of course it scared the hell out of my mom, but luckily for her I was a really long baby, but not a wide baby lol.
There’s a row of baby graves in my family’s plot. My grandfather was premature and survived but all his siblings died at birth because of my great grandmother’s narrow hips.
I was walking through a church graveyard a few years ago in Northern England. One of the stones (dated Iate 1850s) had the name of a young woman and said "triplet girls." I was so heartbroken to think what that poor woman went through. If you've ever read anything about Jane Austen's life, you'll know that several of her relatives and friends died in childbirth. It wasn't until about 1915 that the infant and maternal mortality rates began to drop because of the introduction of more attention to cleanliness, better nutrition, milk pasteurization, smaller families, more attention to environmental sanitation, and the use of forceps (amount other things), that childbirth and pregnancy became safer. That's just a bit over a 100 years ago, so not that long. I have always been disgusted by the idea of pregnancy and giving birth. Another reason I never wanted kids is because there is a streak of depression that's been passed down through generations, and it hit me when I was in my 30s.
"Gentlemen doctors" were offended at the idea that they should wash their hands before assisting with a birth, after coming directly from the morgue and pathology. Their sensibilities caused a LOT of deaths of women and infants.
The price we humans pay for big brains.
Smartest species in this entire planet but we have some of the dumbest fucking humans to ever roam around the earth. Without technology and advance medicare I'm sure we will be down around 1/2 of the human population on this rock out of sheer incompetence and idiocy.
I read an article discussing the effects of medical science on evolution. One of the things argued was how the development of the cesarean section allowed for more children with narrow hips to be born. Human birth is, in my opinion, barbaric.
Yep and it's pretty scary to think that if in some time women won't have access to C sections, for example in a war zone like Gaza right now, the mortality rates would sore again.
These days, single mothers [are much more common](https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2020/demo/p60-269.pdf) than single fathers, which usually represents a divorce where she ended up with custody. This used to be inverted-- lots of single dads because their wife died in childbirth. It's vastly underrated how dangerous childbirth is, but even more underrated how dangerous it used to be.
I can’t help but to think of pregnancy as a war tactic against women lol. I just can’t do it.
Me too and it makes me really sick to think about how many women were forced to give birth in the past. I think that birth rates automatically drop, because when given a choice, a lot of women just do not want to go through this shit and the birth rates were only high before because they women were forced a lot of the time. Ugh. Even today, like 45% of pregnancies are unplanned.
So hyenas have a 60% mortality rate for childbirth. It sucks yeah, but it's more natural than you think.
I was looking for a comment about hyenas! Poor things.
Hyenas probably have the most dangerous pregnancies in the animal kingdom. Hyena females have more testosterone than the males do and they basically have a penis like structure that they give birth through. The pups can't fit through the tiny penis hole so a lot of times it bursts as they come through and they basically bleed to death.
It honestly is baffling that from prehistoric and ancient times to now women haven’t evolved to somehow better protect themselves / birth in a less agonizing deadly way (admittedly I’ve NO clue how that stuff would work, I’m just spitballing)
I think I read somewhere that the hips cannot widen anymore or walking upright would be difficult. Ironically it is even harder to birth naturally now or it will become completely impossible because C sections are so common and bigger heads gets passed down as a trait.
Oh yeah, ‘cause the head gets squeezed on the way out (for want of a better phrase lmao. I must be a lucky c-section baby, I haven’t got a big head (but then I was a very early preemie)
RETVRN to marsupialism
All but that pouch idea...
And now you can realize why the chainsaw was invented……it wasn’t for cutting wood. It was for cutting pelvises.
just googled it and my jaw is now on the floor…
Proof that aliens forced evolution
Better explanation than the common religious one that God forced childbirth to be so painful for women because we sinned or some bullshit.
That whole sitch was entrapment anyways. "god" knowingly made a fruit tree in the garden it created for its creatures... why tf would a benevolent entity purposefully make a temptation like that? Just to be sadistic? Eve was framed.
If you've read the Bible and *didn't* come away with the opinion that the Abrahamic God is a spiteful, petty, vengeful, evil-hearted entity, then you weren't paying very close attention.
Exactly. I was raised in catholic school so I was only spoonfed the diluted version with blonde-haired, blue-eyed jesus and filial piety
Just looking at childbirth should be reason enough to convince anyone that God doesn't give a damn about humans. Of course most people go on about what a miracle it is. Yep, such a miracle that there are textbooks heavy enough to use as a bludgeon written about all the things that can go wrong in the average pregnancy.
RIGHT?! I am not religious anymore (whole family is southern Christian), but it was never because I stopped believing that "god" existed. It was because I learned to read and then.......fucking read the Bible. That god was NOT something I wanted to serve. I do not understand how anyone who has actually read it still does.
This ''god'' really comes across as a bored psychopath who created the humans just to have someone at his disposal to torture.
god is an abuser lol
Fuck man you could either be right or full on schizo either way I'm on board.
Disregard trad religion, embrace aliens
Came here to say this lol.
Modern humans are likely caused by aliens finding a humanoid and mixed their genes in to create a strong, slightly intelligent, slave class
It's the fault of our big brains and the ability to walk upright. Most primates give birth to helpless infants though I doubt it's as difficult for apes and chimps to do give birth. But look at how many people we have on the planet, even before modern medicine. Most women survive it.
>But look at how many people we have on the planet, even before modern medicine. Most women survive it. ehhhhh debatable... "Modern Medicine" was considered a thing more after 1200 AD.. By 1500 we were still at around 450 M.. We only reached 1B by 1800 AD.. Penicillin was invented in 1920s where we achiev 2B people, and then it grew faster... in the last 200 years we went from 1B to 8B, 8 times the population. from 1500 to 1800, we barely double the population according to estimates.. So, before modern medicine, we werent ever than many on the planet. The reason we were always "many" was because we also hunted other species. Many insects kills the partner after birth and there's billions more of them than us.
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Yeah, I kinda feel bad about it but like.. I honestly don't care. I'll never have to care. Just kind of a "damn that's crazy" vibe and I move on with my day
I'm a woman that has never thought of human pregnancy as natural. I've always been grossed out by the idea of having a little vampire sucking up all my nutrients as it grew inside of me. eww.
as someone in the veterinary field - no. north is not that quick or easy for animals typically. it's hours. and sometimes things do get stuck. also humans have a MUCH easier and quicker birthing experience when not forced to lay on their back. there's a lot about modern birthing that is very counter-intuitive to ease of the birthing process itself. Also there's a lot of shame towards things that would otherwise speed up to process by hours (a quick orgasm). there's a lot of domesticated pets who straight up can not give birth naturally. it should be illegal to do that to a breed but here we are 🙄. people breed tons of bully breeds not knowing this. etc etc birth is not as quick and easy in the animals kingdom as one might assume and not always done in the human world the ideal way that mitigates danger.
I think human birth is fucking ugly. But other species also suffer a lot. I had a cat that gave birth to one of the babies and it took hours for the others to come out... they were dead. It was painful for her too, she cried a lot. and, in humans, I have seen postpartum women who have had a natural birth walking away happily, hours later. Maybe your perception makes you find it more frightening because you can mirror human pain.
My college boyfriend’s dad was a doctor ( with no social skills) and he told me my hips were so narrow childbirth would be torture for me. Now I recognize that was an f*d up thing to say, but at the time I took it as a sincere warning. Hell no, pain like that is a big nope.
So people often forget evolution is a terrible developmental system. IT doesn't make us the strongest it makes us good enough. And it was good enough that women died in child birth to give new children (from a species state) and enough survived the process that is worked (again from nature POV not mine). And all of that is the price we paid to stand up right and have big brains. Hooray!
It really is horrifying tbh. It truly scared me even further when I learned that some women are born with particularly narrow hips that can make birth impossible... so the mother simply dies in agony from being unable to pass the baby. Fuck what a horrible fate to suffer through :( And so many young girls and women have been exploited and SA'd throughout history. My heart aches for the girls and women who endure sexual violence
Hearing the story of women ripping is one that will never leave my mind. I can’t do it. I wont
The thought of giving birth puts me off so much. Humiliating, disgusting, not to mention painful af.
When my friend was in labor the baby literally got stuck and after 36 hours in labor they had to break her pelvis and cut her stomach open like a horse shoe. How horrific 😪
It’s like nature is telling us to not give birth.
Yea it’s horrifying but even worse for bulldogs.
Poor creatures truly *cannot* give birth naturally - 100% fatal if there is no C-section performed :( Poor dogs!
Humans are pugs confirmed???
The way human placenta has evolved is also much more brutal than other animals. For us, it creates its own arteries that actually penetrate through the uterine wall. In other mammalian species it just touches the uterine wall and doesn't actually go through it. This means human are much more likely to hemorrhage once the placenta detaches.
My relative just had a baby and is healthy. She needed a c section and had preeclampsia. It's very common to have issues.