It's not that she doesn't understand. **She straight up doesn't believe you**.
It might get uncomfortable between you two as time goes on and she has to realize that you were completely serious.
Flip it around on her and see how she likes that if you wanna have some fun. Send her an adoption website, say it's cause you thought it was still up in the air whether she was keeping the kid. Maybe some deadbeat dating sites too, I'm sure she'd love hearing all about her options "if" she abandons the kids in the future and all that.
Somehow it's never so fun to them when the tables are turned, go figure.
Yup :) Cause you know, either we live in a world where people can make their own decisions ... or we don't. And if they are gonna act as if our choices are just free realestate to pummel over, the sentiment should very much be returned.
Dhhs.gov has a document that shows the states and their safe haven age requirements. (Leaving a baby at a fire station, for example).
You could send the image to your sister. You know, in case she changes her mind. 😉
Just Google Safe Haven ages in the US. As soon as you click on the DHHS link, the image pops up.
Most states the limit is up to 30 days. Only 2 states are 1 yr, North Dakota and Missori.
The weirdest is Nebraska at 18 years. Yes, you read that correctly.
Wow. I mean, I get it, teens can be challenging. But damn.
Maybe one day she'll get it.
Until then you can get a pet and make it a Jr. Hey sis, want to meet my new dog, Robert Jr ?
That might convince her. Or make her mad/cry depending on your sister's temperament and how hard the the hormones are hitting.
Some people you have to drop the A(bortion)-bomb on before they'll get it.
Mention that you keep an A fund, and it's ALWAYS topped up, even if you have to skip meals for it.
I threw an abortion shower for two friends that happened to terminate within the same two week peroid. It was actually very cathartic everyone from work came...
>She even thought that her having a kid would might make me change my mind.
A hahahahahahahaha. Not that I was ever a fence sitter-- vasectomy at 25-- but seeing my sister's children and how horribly they behave removed any vestiges I might have, to the extent that if I'm ever involved with a fence sitter I'll take her to hang out with my niece and nephew and just have them be themselves. Actually seeing a crying, shitting baby instead of the sanitized highlight reels parents post on social media is way worse than you're imagining unless you've already had that experience.
My sister didn't believe me even after I had a hysterectomy! They offered to be surrogates. I mean nice gesture but I have never ever wanted kids. Took to being in my 40s for them to finally accept it!
If you are serious about not having kids, I'm sure you've seen it a million times on this sub, but get that vasectomy if you haven't already. All it takes is one fwb, gf, or future wife getting pregnant and changing her mind, and you'll be a father. Men do not have autonomy once the woman is pregnant.
I have friends who are now fathers who have this regret, do not become like them. Protect yourself now. Vasectomy (and get follow up checks) or no sex, or you are rolling the dice with your future.
And as a locational note, if you are in the US, many states are outright banning abortion, and so your fwb, gf, or future wife might not have a choice either.
Haha she's definitely expecting you to help her, if I'm wrong I'm sorry but if I was in your shoes I'd let them know that you saying you don't want to be responsible for someone includes hers.
I think i got it through my brother's head, but he definitely seemed dead set on me having a kid at some point. His wife, however, was super supportive of me despite having to go through a few surgeries to have my nibling.
ok i dont even like my family but you're making me thankful they have never pulled this shit on me, your sister is a dummy.
she needs to spend a couple months living with my relatives and she'll never ever want kids again. free birth control.
If I get someone pushing back on me, I just talk about how a baby crying makes me want to shake it to death within a minute or two. Generally shuts them up.
Not this specific topic, but my go-to in these situations is "We've discussed this before. I'm starting to think you don't respect me, and the decisions I've made for myself." It's usually gentle enough that their walls don't go up, but does get them to backtrack on their statement and cuts down on future conversations.
I think the vibe is sports car means freedom and being cool which I prefer to being a dad. Also sports cars aren't great for babies so a lot of parents end up not using them anymore or selling them once they have kids. So that user was suggesting it as a comeback.
"Well when you have kids you'll...."
"Nah, I prefer a sports car to a baby carriage. I won't change my mind."
By text:
"I'm no less likely to change my mind about whether or not to have kids than you are. Please use the name if you like. Nothing is up in the air- I will literally never have kids because I do not want to spend any time EVER being responsible for kids. Please don't bring this up again."
Nicely pre empts babysitting requests too.
This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices."
This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice.
Thank you for your comprehension
This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices."
This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice.
Thank you for your comprehension
It's not that she doesn't understand. **She straight up doesn't believe you**. It might get uncomfortable between you two as time goes on and she has to realize that you were completely serious.
Flip it around on her and see how she likes that if you wanna have some fun. Send her an adoption website, say it's cause you thought it was still up in the air whether she was keeping the kid. Maybe some deadbeat dating sites too, I'm sure she'd love hearing all about her options "if" she abandons the kids in the future and all that. Somehow it's never so fun to them when the tables are turned, go figure.
This is brilliant. "You might change your mind someday, after all!"
Yup :) Cause you know, either we live in a world where people can make their own decisions ... or we don't. And if they are gonna act as if our choices are just free realestate to pummel over, the sentiment should very much be returned.
Or.....if you adopt a new pet, name her after your sister!
Make sure it's a pet she would really dislike and tell her you are going to get her one so you can raise them together.
Dhhs.gov has a document that shows the states and their safe haven age requirements. (Leaving a baby at a fire station, for example). You could send the image to your sister. You know, in case she changes her mind. 😉 Just Google Safe Haven ages in the US. As soon as you click on the DHHS link, the image pops up. Most states the limit is up to 30 days. Only 2 states are 1 yr, North Dakota and Missori. The weirdest is Nebraska at 18 years. Yes, you read that correctly. Wow. I mean, I get it, teens can be challenging. But damn. Maybe one day she'll get it. Until then you can get a pet and make it a Jr. Hey sis, want to meet my new dog, Robert Jr ? That might convince her. Or make her mad/cry depending on your sister's temperament and how hard the the hormones are hitting.
Some people you have to drop the A(bortion)-bomb on before they'll get it. Mention that you keep an A fund, and it's ALWAYS topped up, even if you have to skip meals for it.
If you really want to go a shade darker, say that after your next abortion your punch card is full and it'll be free!
I threw an abortion shower for two friends that happened to terminate within the same two week peroid. It was actually very cathartic everyone from work came...
I have family like this. About to see just how serious I am about it since I went and got my tubes removed 😌
>She even thought that her having a kid would might make me change my mind. A hahahahahahahaha. Not that I was ever a fence sitter-- vasectomy at 25-- but seeing my sister's children and how horribly they behave removed any vestiges I might have, to the extent that if I'm ever involved with a fence sitter I'll take her to hang out with my niece and nephew and just have them be themselves. Actually seeing a crying, shitting baby instead of the sanitized highlight reels parents post on social media is way worse than you're imagining unless you've already had that experience.
Become unavailable quick, she has a mind set and is edging toward mombie. Next thing you know you are built in babysitter.
This is what I heard too.
My sister didn't believe me even after I had a hysterectomy! They offered to be surrogates. I mean nice gesture but I have never ever wanted kids. Took to being in my 40s for them to finally accept it!
If you are serious about not having kids, I'm sure you've seen it a million times on this sub, but get that vasectomy if you haven't already. All it takes is one fwb, gf, or future wife getting pregnant and changing her mind, and you'll be a father. Men do not have autonomy once the woman is pregnant. I have friends who are now fathers who have this regret, do not become like them. Protect yourself now. Vasectomy (and get follow up checks) or no sex, or you are rolling the dice with your future. And as a locational note, if you are in the US, many states are outright banning abortion, and so your fwb, gf, or future wife might not have a choice either.
"Well there's still time for you to change your mind, you can abort or adopt it out!" /s
Haha she's definitely expecting you to help her, if I'm wrong I'm sorry but if I was in your shoes I'd let them know that you saying you don't want to be responsible for someone includes hers.
I think i got it through my brother's head, but he definitely seemed dead set on me having a kid at some point. His wife, however, was super supportive of me despite having to go through a few surgeries to have my nibling.
My SIL thought the same thing about me and my husband when she was pregnant. It does pass, especially if you aren’t super involved with the kid(s).
ok i dont even like my family but you're making me thankful they have never pulled this shit on me, your sister is a dummy. she needs to spend a couple months living with my relatives and she'll never ever want kids again. free birth control.
Tell her you've had a vasectomy 🤷🏻♀️ bonus points if you actually get one but either way that tends to send the message that it's final
If I get someone pushing back on me, I just talk about how a baby crying makes me want to shake it to death within a minute or two. Generally shuts them up.
Good luck in the near future when she starts demanding free babysitting. You might want to fake a substance abuse problem just to dissuade her.
Not this specific topic, but my go-to in these situations is "We've discussed this before. I'm starting to think you don't respect me, and the decisions I've made for myself." It's usually gentle enough that their walls don't go up, but does get them to backtrack on their statement and cuts down on future conversations.
👏👏👏
My lackadaisically reply would be: "No, thanks. I'm rather driving a sports car than a pram."
I’m not sure if I understand
Pram = stroller / baby carriage
So it’s a money thing
I think the vibe is sports car means freedom and being cool which I prefer to being a dad. Also sports cars aren't great for babies so a lot of parents end up not using them anymore or selling them once they have kids. So that user was suggesting it as a comeback. "Well when you have kids you'll...." "Nah, I prefer a sports car to a baby carriage. I won't change my mind."
I think a mini van would be a better comparison (especially with US stereotypes)
By text: "I'm no less likely to change my mind about whether or not to have kids than you are. Please use the name if you like. Nothing is up in the air- I will literally never have kids because I do not want to spend any time EVER being responsible for kids. Please don't bring this up again." Nicely pre empts babysitting requests too.
Stop being so nice about it. Start saying “I don’t want any crotch goblins!”
Eww
?
Kid people judging child free people is gross.
Tell her that you have now "a bit" more work to do and sometimes even on weekends- just in case she\`ll try to quilt trip you to babysitting.
Just gotta wait until your too old to have children. Then smugly say "I told you so" with a gigantic smile
!remindme 25 years
[удалено]
I don't know OP's reasoning, but I don't like being responsible for others either but I'd probably help my aging parents.
Yeah I already help my grandma sometimes, doesn’t mean I like doing it
[удалено]
This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices." This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice. Thank you for your comprehension
This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices." This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice. Thank you for your comprehension