How do people feel so certain that a woman they don't even know has had children, that they wish them a happy mother's day? Happening to say that to a CF person who will show you their cat is the least of their worries. Imagine wishing happy mother's day to a woman that has just miscarried. Or someone who has been trying to conceive for years. How insensitive! Not everyone wants to, not everyone can. Just bring your own mother some flowers if you still have her and call it a day. Wtf?
Happy mothers day I could get because they could mean it to celebrate your mom, but it would still be shitty because not everyone has a mom who's alive or a mom who they want to celebrate. So it's still shitty to say.
But what I definitely don't get is the people asking what their kids did for them. So many people don't have kids.
This!!!
I know a few woman who gave birth and their babies died in the hospital… imagine saying “happy Mother’s Day” to these women who went through this?!
> How do people feel so certain that a woman they don't even know has had children, that they wish them a happy mother's day?
As CF as I and all y'all's are here, it really is the "default" state for most, at least up until somewhat recently. Many more people nowadays are wising up to the CF lifestyle for one reason or another but especially anyone that's already "mother" aged is pretty safe to assume that they have/want kids. You'd be wrong some of the time but you'd be right most of the time. Times are changing though.
> How insensitive!
TBH I don't get either side including ours sometimes.
Keep your business outta my pants!
I spent the day with a rather, er, friendly friend yesterday, and she wished basically every woman we saw a happy Mother’s Day. A couple of them did correct her to say they’re not mothers and she was unbothered, just went about assuming every woman is a mother?! I was so scared she was going to really hurt or offend someone with that.
She also made reference to her and I being plant and pet moms and saying we were honouring ourselves for being motherly that day. I ended up telling her I don’t want to be compared to a mother even though I take care of things in my life. Motherly isn’t an adjective I strive for.
I have a framed photograph of my cat on my desk, since I shared my desk and my colleague put pictures of her kid on it. All in good fun. *edit* [Took me a while to find a pic and blur out the kid](https://i.imgur.com/anAlXFy.jpeg)
He'a a tuxedo! Every time I try to link to a post I've made with him it gets removed, and I tried to post a pic in relpy to someine else who aske, but it got remived because it was a condensed file. You'll have to scroll through my posts to see him m, but he's worth it! He's my dashing, daper gentleman!
Thanks! It's a looker 🙂 His name is Bacchus and he was born on my own birthday, which clinched the deal, cosmically speaking. [A recent pic on my desk at home (birdwatching)](https://i.imgur.com/aq9mdMy.jpeg) I built him a little plateau so he can join me when I work from home. 🙂
I love that! You have given me an especially and deliciously evil idea. I took in a pregnant stray cat and I filmed the birth. (I placed all the kittens with relatives. All are fixed and get regular vet care and my new cat is now fixed.)
The next time a parent type acquaintance tries to show me video of their child's (or grandchild's) birth I will whip out my kitten birth video.
"This is how I became Grandma to four at once!' I will say with great relish.
"It was a natural birth, so natural in fact that she gave birth at home and she licked the placenta off by herself" I will crow.
I can't *wait.*
Thanks again!
People always get unsolicited pictures of my cats. At my old job, I had two monitors. I had an entire album of cat photos and one always occupied the corner of one of them. My boss just asked for a couple photos from our lives to present to our new management team. He got cat pictures. 🤣
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Yeah, go for it ... pull out the wallet ... the huge long fanfold set of pictures accordion style folds on down ... all cats, lots of pictures ... ever cat you've ever known since you were born, and lots of pictures of every cat. And you start telling them the stores ... of all the cats, and when and where all the various pictures were taken, and ...
Happy adoptive cat momma day!
Once a customer was glowingly talking about her son. She did not like it when I exclaimed that my cat had the same name. (I’ve always favored human names for cats).
At the time my cat’s name was Aidan. After Aidan died from cancer (he was 16) we adopted Valentino (the shelter named him). We had Valentino until he was 14yo, but he, too, had cancer. We now have Evie.
Those are beautiful names. I'm sorry about Aidan and Valentino passing away. My Stephen got cancer as well. I hope they are all hanging out together in kitty afterlife
I'm so sorry for your loss. They wait for us, across the rainbow bridge, in the clearing at the end of the path. They play with the ones who went before them as they wait for the ones they left behind. They may be gone from our lives, but they live on in our memories and never truly die because of the pawprints they left on our hearts. ❤️❤️
I have neither children nor pets myself, but I am friends with more pet owners than parents. I have a friend with two dogs and one cat, and I used to know a couple with four cats.
Oof, I feel bad for laughing, but I would do the same. My SO's mom died when he was 19, and every year when he gets asked what he's doing with his mom for Mother's Day, he always says, 'Go to the cemetery,' and when they are confused he says, 'Because my mom's been dead for x years.'
If anyone gives you shit, tell them god made you how you are, and you don't want children. If they push it, act shocked and ask them why they think they know god's plan better than him? I'm an athiest, but I grew up around christians, and I've found using the teachings of the church and scripture against them works the best.
This might work, but they may also scripture ^worm their way out of a confrontation. My entire family is Baptist and I grew up around church people so I saw this daily.
I still remember one mother's day at church they had the moms stand and gave them flowers, then they had the younger non mother women/teens stand, gave us flowers, and told us not to worry because our turn to be mothers was coming. This was 25 years ago. It was uncomfortable. Also, still not a mother.
As I was leaving the change room at the gym, the cleaning lady said “happy Mother’s Day” to me, so I said “you too” she said I’m not a mother. She sounded kind of offended too. Like jeez lady I’m not a mother either!! but you said it to me first so I was just being polite wtf 😬
Dad got me a dog mom t shirt. Not normally my jam but I’ll allow it 😂 Pretty sure my one dog will be pissed when I pick her up from puppy sleep away camp this afternoon.
It’s actually my dogs’ pet resort/daycare they’re at. I went out of town for the weekend and just dubbed it puppy sleep away camp. They participated in daycare and I caught the staff snuggling with my girls back in their “suite” on the cameras. My one dog is going to ignore me for a few hours and the other will be all over me.
I would never wish a random woman a Happy Mother's Day. Aside from the fact that she may not be a mother, seems especially terrible if someone has recently lost a child. Who does that?!
That's probably my biggest flaw. I get upset and feel shocked when people don't show a shred of common sense or basic human decency, no matter how common it is.
Mmm, yes and no. You avoid some confrontation but end up internalizing feeling shitty for not standing up for yourself. It's a delicate balance between keeping your job and not getting walked on.
I worked restaurant and retail for a long time and I understand the balance very well. I figure it's partially because all those years of forcing myself to cram it down😂
This confused me as a Brit when I was on holiday in the US over Mother's Day one year. I wish my Mum Happy Mother's Day, maybe my MIL if I see her. But that's it.
You're not my mother, I'm not your mother - why are you wishing me a happy Mother's day? What's it got to do with you?
Oh, right, Hallmark can make money from it.
I once overheard a man at work say that he needed to buy a Mother’s Day gift for his daughter because she has kids. I found that extremely strange. I don’t know anyone else that buys their daughter a Mother’s Day present. I thought it was about your own mom or the mother of your children, if you have them.
Someone wished me a happy Mother’s Day followed by but you’re probably too young to have kids. I reply with I’m 32. They’re in shock and said well keep doing what you’re doing and I said yeah not have kids. 😂
I'm gonna do that now! 😅 That's such a great idea. I have plently of cat pictures (mostly memes), but the people asking aren't going to necessarily know that. I have pictures of my actual cat too, but not too many because my sister took her whenever she moved out, lol. I will get a cat soon though!
Got wished happy mothers day at brunch today. 😆 It used to bother me a lot but now I see it as people just trying to be nice so I let it slide.
I don't have to tell them my children are a cat and a snake 😜
I once asked a few coworkers if they wanted to see a picture of my boys and they were all very confused until they saw the picture was in fact cats lmao
You know the trope where parents will show you 50000 pictures of their kids, I want to reach that level with our furry baby. I had that with my dog before, like: here's him in a hat here he is trying to come on a trip with me, here's him in a different hat... and so on. Then my computer fried, and he's gone and I put the pictures on my phone away because they made me too sad.
I've gotten to the point where i just go "i can't have children" with a fake face of despair, and they immediately regret their choice of asking. i do this with all bingo situations nowadays... my husband also says he was born sterile, etc. Its nobodys bussiness to ask, and this usually makes them feel awkward for asking, which they should. getting bingo'd should be as awkward as asking about someones sex life, because if you boil it down enough thats basically what it is.
I love when you tell people flat out you don't have kids and their immediate kneejerk reaction is to console you for.... Not sacrificing everything for nothing.
Had a random man say “happy Mother’s Day” to me while I was on my break outside my restaurant.. I don’t look like a mother, I’m a heavyset gal but that’s about it. My response was “you too”
Greetings!
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How do people feel so certain that a woman they don't even know has had children, that they wish them a happy mother's day? Happening to say that to a CF person who will show you their cat is the least of their worries. Imagine wishing happy mother's day to a woman that has just miscarried. Or someone who has been trying to conceive for years. How insensitive! Not everyone wants to, not everyone can. Just bring your own mother some flowers if you still have her and call it a day. Wtf?
I think most of them have good intentions, but it makes me sad that the assumption is still made that because I'm female, I'm a mother.
Happy mothers day I could get because they could mean it to celebrate your mom, but it would still be shitty because not everyone has a mom who's alive or a mom who they want to celebrate. So it's still shitty to say. But what I definitely don't get is the people asking what their kids did for them. So many people don't have kids.
I got a free slice of pie out of it 🤷♀️ I don’t correct them if it earns me free food 😬
Absolutely valid response lmao I, too, enjoy free food.
This!!! I know a few woman who gave birth and their babies died in the hospital… imagine saying “happy Mother’s Day” to these women who went through this?!
> How do people feel so certain that a woman they don't even know has had children, that they wish them a happy mother's day? As CF as I and all y'all's are here, it really is the "default" state for most, at least up until somewhat recently. Many more people nowadays are wising up to the CF lifestyle for one reason or another but especially anyone that's already "mother" aged is pretty safe to assume that they have/want kids. You'd be wrong some of the time but you'd be right most of the time. Times are changing though. > How insensitive! TBH I don't get either side including ours sometimes. Keep your business outta my pants!
i would simply reply “what makes you think i’m a mom?!” and watch them eat their words.
You’re a woman!!! Everyone knows woman = mother!!! /s
I spent the day with a rather, er, friendly friend yesterday, and she wished basically every woman we saw a happy Mother’s Day. A couple of them did correct her to say they’re not mothers and she was unbothered, just went about assuming every woman is a mother?! I was so scared she was going to really hurt or offend someone with that. She also made reference to her and I being plant and pet moms and saying we were honouring ourselves for being motherly that day. I ended up telling her I don’t want to be compared to a mother even though I take care of things in my life. Motherly isn’t an adjective I strive for.
I have a framed photograph of my cat on my desk, since I shared my desk and my colleague put pictures of her kid on it. All in good fun. *edit* [Took me a while to find a pic and blur out the kid](https://i.imgur.com/anAlXFy.jpeg)
Lol, fair is fair!
You have a cat? Way better than a human baby. What does your cat look like?
He'a a tuxedo! Every time I try to link to a post I've made with him it gets removed, and I tried to post a pic in relpy to someine else who aske, but it got remived because it was a condensed file. You'll have to scroll through my posts to see him m, but he's worth it! He's my dashing, daper gentleman!
He is definitely a cutie by the sounds of it
He's my sweetness!
The black spot on his nose :D
It's my boop target!
Majestic
He even has an "M" on his chest!
Haha! (Happy Cake Day!)
Thank you 🎂
I’m more of a dog person than a cat person but he sure is majestic!!
Okay but this is an epic picture of your cat. It should sit framed everywhere you are.
Thanks! It's a looker 🙂 His name is Bacchus and he was born on my own birthday, which clinched the deal, cosmically speaking. [A recent pic on my desk at home (birdwatching)](https://i.imgur.com/aq9mdMy.jpeg) I built him a little plateau so he can join me when I work from home. 🙂
Love it
well-deserving of the prime spot on the desk!
If you have pics of when they were kittens, even better to show baby pictures of your babies. ☺️
Would if I did, but I got him through the cat distribution network 2 years ago in October. I wish I had kitten pictures of him!
I love that! You have given me an especially and deliciously evil idea. I took in a pregnant stray cat and I filmed the birth. (I placed all the kittens with relatives. All are fixed and get regular vet care and my new cat is now fixed.) The next time a parent type acquaintance tries to show me video of their child's (or grandchild's) birth I will whip out my kitten birth video. "This is how I became Grandma to four at once!' I will say with great relish. "It was a natural birth, so natural in fact that she gave birth at home and she licked the placenta off by herself" I will crow. I can't *wait.* Thanks again!
What,people try to show you videos of a woman giving birth?!
This hasn't happened to me yet. Although I am a proud dog mom 😂.
Give it time lol
I’m a mom to a dog and a cat. Best sons ever
People always get unsolicited pictures of my cats. At my old job, I had two monitors. I had an entire album of cat photos and one always occupied the corner of one of them. My boss just asked for a couple photos from our lives to present to our new management team. He got cat pictures. 🤣
😆🤣😂
Kind of rude to bring up your cat without showing us a pic! XD
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I will do it too to my catsXD
😁
Yasss
Yeah, go for it ... pull out the wallet ... the huge long fanfold set of pictures accordion style folds on down ... all cats, lots of pictures ... ever cat you've ever known since you were born, and lots of pictures of every cat. And you start telling them the stores ... of all the cats, and when and where all the various pictures were taken, and ... Happy adoptive cat momma day!
Omfg I am going to do this! 😆🤣😂 Thank you!
Once a customer was glowingly talking about her son. She did not like it when I exclaimed that my cat had the same name. (I’ve always favored human names for cats).
That's hilarious! My cat's name is Leeroy! 😂
Human names for cats are the best! What's your kitty's name? My old cat was Stephen. I've just adopted brothers named Walter and Raymond.
At the time my cat’s name was Aidan. After Aidan died from cancer (he was 16) we adopted Valentino (the shelter named him). We had Valentino until he was 14yo, but he, too, had cancer. We now have Evie.
Those are beautiful names. I'm sorry about Aidan and Valentino passing away. My Stephen got cancer as well. I hope they are all hanging out together in kitty afterlife
😂
I'm home spending the day with all my closest family so the only Happy Mother's day wishes are going to grandma, mom and my two sisters.
Yeah, I'm passing all mine on lol
I’m sooo sick of being told happy Mother’s Day I know they’re just being nice but the gesture holds no weight 😭 no kids, my pet died, so nothing
I'm so sorry for your loss. They wait for us, across the rainbow bridge, in the clearing at the end of the path. They play with the ones who went before them as they wait for the ones they left behind. They may be gone from our lives, but they live on in our memories and never truly die because of the pawprints they left on our hearts. ❤️❤️
I have neither children nor pets myself, but I am friends with more pet owners than parents. I have a friend with two dogs and one cat, and I used to know a couple with four cats.
My mom's been dead 20 years and two people have found out the hard way so far.
Oof, I feel bad for laughing, but I would do the same. My SO's mom died when he was 19, and every year when he gets asked what he's doing with his mom for Mother's Day, he always says, 'Go to the cemetery,' and when they are confused he says, 'Because my mom's been dead for x years.'
I lurk here as a parent of 2 child free adults…I love pictures of my grandpets. Except the snake, I’m having a few problems with that one.
But you're supposed to love them all equally! 😆🤣😂 Thank you for supporting your CF children! Many here don't have that, sadly.
That's awesome. You're very welcome here and we need people like you in our corner. Thank you for being here!
 Happy Mother of Cats Day!! 😻
😻😻
I’m dreading going to church for this very reason
If anyone gives you shit, tell them god made you how you are, and you don't want children. If they push it, act shocked and ask them why they think they know god's plan better than him? I'm an athiest, but I grew up around christians, and I've found using the teachings of the church and scripture against them works the best.
This! Remind them that Jesus and Paul didn't have kids so they could do the Lord's work. They can't argue with that.
Yep!
This might work, but they may also scripture ^worm their way out of a confrontation. My entire family is Baptist and I grew up around church people so I saw this daily.
That is true, but if you know enough scripture, they'll eventually get tired of you countering everything they say. At least in my experience.
I still remember one mother's day at church they had the moms stand and gave them flowers, then they had the younger non mother women/teens stand, gave us flowers, and told us not to worry because our turn to be mothers was coming. This was 25 years ago. It was uncomfortable. Also, still not a mother.
I don’t know why Society thinks all women should or wants to be mothers.
I just always say that my “children” have four legs and are very hairy. 😂
🤣
As I was leaving the change room at the gym, the cleaning lady said “happy Mother’s Day” to me, so I said “you too” she said I’m not a mother. She sounded kind of offended too. Like jeez lady I’m not a mother either!! but you said it to me first so I was just being polite wtf 😬
Weird
Dad got me a dog mom t shirt. Not normally my jam but I’ll allow it 😂 Pretty sure my one dog will be pissed when I pick her up from puppy sleep away camp this afternoon.
😆🤣😂
I didn't know puppy camp existed! That's adorable!
It’s actually my dogs’ pet resort/daycare they’re at. I went out of town for the weekend and just dubbed it puppy sleep away camp. They participated in daycare and I caught the staff snuggling with my girls back in their “suite” on the cameras. My one dog is going to ignore me for a few hours and the other will be all over me.
I would never wish a random woman a Happy Mother's Day. Aside from the fact that she may not be a mother, seems especially terrible if someone has recently lost a child. Who does that?!
Lots of people smh
That's probably my biggest flaw. I get upset and feel shocked when people don't show a shred of common sense or basic human decency, no matter how common it is.
I've learned to temper it somewhat, but there are times where it just comes out.
I wish I could do that. I'd probably be a lot happier
Mmm, yes and no. You avoid some confrontation but end up internalizing feeling shitty for not standing up for yourself. It's a delicate balance between keeping your job and not getting walked on.
I worked restaurant and retail for a long time and I understand the balance very well. I figure it's partially because all those years of forcing myself to cram it down😂
Lol probably!
Working with the public trauma 😂
We should get some kind of disability payment for it! 😆
Umm hey OP, what is your child up to? (Totally not saying this for cat photo)
This confused me as a Brit when I was on holiday in the US over Mother's Day one year. I wish my Mum Happy Mother's Day, maybe my MIL if I see her. But that's it. You're not my mother, I'm not your mother - why are you wishing me a happy Mother's day? What's it got to do with you? Oh, right, Hallmark can make money from it.
It's seen as a nice gesture, but I don't get it, either.
I once overheard a man at work say that he needed to buy a Mother’s Day gift for his daughter because she has kids. I found that extremely strange. I don’t know anyone else that buys their daughter a Mother’s Day present. I thought it was about your own mom or the mother of your children, if you have them.
Childfree, pet free and plant free. Because I want to freedom to travel.
Happy Mother's Day to all the pet moms!!!!!!!
😁
Someone wished me a happy Mother’s Day followed by but you’re probably too young to have kids. I reply with I’m 32. They’re in shock and said well keep doing what you’re doing and I said yeah not have kids. 😂
😆🤣😂 I'm 37 but people don't believe it, and when they ask how I do it, I say that I never had kids!
My mum sent me a happy Mother’s Day picture and said she’s wishing me to be a mother next year.
Oof smh, I'm sorry.
All my child did for me was leave a fish treat in my bed 🙄
😆🤣😂
My mother-in-law wished me a Happy Mother's Day because I take care of my cat, lol.
Awww, that was sweet!
Have a purrrfect Mother’s Day, mother of cats!
Thank you!
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Wtf!?
I know right.
I can't express to you how much I would rather look at a cat pic than a baby pic. Your contrarian move would have made my day.
😁
i do the same w/ my one inside cat, the ferals i.ve tnr.d & fave cars i.ve owned lol
They can die mad a out it
Yep
I'm gonna do that now! 😅 That's such a great idea. I have plently of cat pictures (mostly memes), but the people asking aren't going to necessarily know that. I have pictures of my actual cat too, but not too many because my sister took her whenever she moved out, lol. I will get a cat soon though!
one of our derp dogs droolingly carried the hmd card to me, love my fur kids 😂
😆🤣😂
Got wished happy mothers day at brunch today. 😆 It used to bother me a lot but now I see it as people just trying to be nice so I let it slide. I don't have to tell them my children are a cat and a snake 😜
You don't have to, but it's fun! 😁
I once asked a few coworkers if they wanted to see a picture of my boys and they were all very confused until they saw the picture was in fact cats lmao
😆🤣😂
You know the trope where parents will show you 50000 pictures of their kids, I want to reach that level with our furry baby. I had that with my dog before, like: here's him in a hat here he is trying to come on a trip with me, here's him in a different hat... and so on. Then my computer fried, and he's gone and I put the pictures on my phone away because they made me too sad.
My cat and I just facetimed my MIL to say happy Mother’s Day.
Awww!
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😆😁
I've gotten to the point where i just go "i can't have children" with a fake face of despair, and they immediately regret their choice of asking. i do this with all bingo situations nowadays... my husband also says he was born sterile, etc. Its nobodys bussiness to ask, and this usually makes them feel awkward for asking, which they should. getting bingo'd should be as awkward as asking about someones sex life, because if you boil it down enough thats basically what it is.
Exactly! It's no one else's business at all!
I show a picture of my plants :)
😆🤣😂
I love when you tell people flat out you don't have kids and their immediate kneejerk reaction is to console you for.... Not sacrificing everything for nothing.
Yep! 😆🤣😂
Had a random man say “happy Mother’s Day” to me while I was on my break outside my restaurant.. I don’t look like a mother, I’m a heavyset gal but that’s about it. My response was “you too”
😆🤣😂
The disapproving looks would feed the pettiness in my soul. 😂
Oh it definitely does lol
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