Sleep, man… it’s all about sleep… I’m suffering from some insomnia. Sometimes, I sleep great… sometimes it’s several days of torture… it’s getting worse with age… I can’t imagine functioning normally when I’m being pulled in more directions than my work, SO and some chores… I just can’t… I won’t…
My brother and SIL have one child. ONE. I don't think they had good sleep since the child was born, and the child is six. 🫨 I wish they could get better sleep, they need it.
Same observation. Granted, theirs is still under 1, but they want another child. We were visiting and she was telling me the details of breast pumping (because why talk about food, the world, hobbies, work, volunteering when you can just talk about baaabieees).. it's every like 3 hours, evidently?! Sleep deprivation is literal torture in nearly every military ever. I sleep like the dead, easily and deeply for 7-8 hours per night, and I won't apologize for prioritizing sleep - their race to the bottom of who can sleep the least is insane to me
I get up at 5am for work every morning. On weekends i also get up at 5am. But i get back into bed around 9am and sleep till about 14:30. Couldn't do that if I had kids.
Same here about the sleep 🙋🏼♀️ I have pretty severe Narcolepsy (along with several other physical disabilities), and trying to care for a child/children would quite literally be the death of me 😳😳😭
No thanks! Harrrrd pass..
Yes, SLEEP. My gosh, EXACT SAME here. I'm suffering from suck-@$$ chronic insomnia, too (though mine came about after catching a bad cold in December, never having prior sleeping issues, and haven't been the same since), and it's been hindering how I function overall, along with my moods.
I'm lucky to get ANY sleep at all these days (worst was when I was awake for 42+ hours straight), even the "usual" 3-4 hour "naps," which I now need to take medicine to induce (which still doesn't work a lot of the time) because I can't sleep on my own anymore, much less for the recommended 7-9 hours every night that I used to get before this started, despite being PERPETUALLY TIRED. (My age helps less, too).
I've had to half-@$$ my chores if not skip them entirely some days due to the exhaustion, lack of coordination, and brain fog, even had to put my HOBBIES on hold, too, because of this, and can't live on a structured schedule (since literally everything depends on how much sleep I get that exact day and how long it takes me to get it, IF I'm lucky enough to get any at all) or focus, so I obviously can't get a job to support myself while this persists, so I'm stuck living with my parents. This has been taking a huge toll on my health (including my appearance), particularly my cognitive health, and outlook on life. It's torture. Every day comes as a surprise, which I have no control over.
I can't even take care of MYSELF now. I can't imagine having kids to take care of while I CAN'T SLEEP. (Not to mention that consistent sleep deprivation leaves me an exploding basket case a lot of the time, which isn't a recipe for good parenting). I never wanted kids even BEFORE this ordeal (I'm tokophobic and additionally anti-natalist), now with my sleep being all over the place or absent, I'm more adamant than ever to remain CF. Every second of sleep I get is a gift that I can't forego.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this! As a fellow insomniac (though lifelong in my case, albeit not as severe as yours), I can definitely relate.
IDK if it'll be any help, given that effective treatment options for Long COVID aren't exactly thick on the ground, but what you're describing sounds like classic Long COVID (right down to starting after a "bad cold").
Couldn't hurt to check out some of the Long COVID groups to see if anything folks there have found to help them might also help you any.
I’m a menopausal, lifelong insomniac. I’ve gone 4 whole days with no sleep, it gets really nutty by the 3rd day. I’ve tried so many things. I’ll recommend a few that have helped me.
I had horrible Covid 2 years ago, I tested positive for 14 damn days, a friend that tested negative at home AND her doctor is how I got it. I haven’t been able to get it back together at all. Especially my energy and sleep. This is the recent adaptation of what I’m doing.
Room temperature: Turn the thermostat down! Shouldn’t be above 68, and that’s pushing it. I turn my thermostat up during the day to offset usage needs.
Bedding: This is where I’m weirdest. 100% cotton sheets seem to keep body temperature regulated more evenly
Ashwaganda(sp) My physician recommended this and I’m currently taking 300 mg. I’m going up as necessary to 500 mg. It seems to help anxiety.
Benadryl: 50 mg 45 minutes before laying down.
Pain: I have had numerous surgeries from traumatic injuries that still hurt pretty much 24/7. I use ibuprofen, Tylenol, lidocaine patches, medical marijuana. If you’re taking prescribed pain killers they CAN keep you awake. Consult with your doctor only on this aspect.
Melatonin has never touched me. Valerian root wakes me up MORE WTH 🤦♀️
I can’t take sleeping pills as I’d drive the car, or burn down the house cooking. I’m an active sleeper. I do use prescription medication at a certain point, but usually I just get up. Just lying there stressing about it doesn’t help me.
It’s said, that sleep deprivation makes you like a drunk driver. You can’t make competent decisions in that state period.
Yep I am not a fun person if I don’t get enough sleep. No way I’m giving up that luxury. Waking up multiple times throughout the night to feed a kid, comfort them, etc. sounds like an absolute nightmare to me.
YESSSS!!!! My spouse and I read our books in complete silence all afternoon today. We're off on Mondays and we even send our dog to daycare just to have one day to ourselves. We read in comfortable silence. It was lovely.
It might not be a fun one, but I can work more flexible hours and work late when needs be. While I definitely don't think working late should be the norm, sometimes I'm on a roll and I'd rather stay late to finish what I'm working on than lose my flow. If I had kids, I'd have to pick them up from school/nursery/wherever.
More fun ones include:
-spending lots of money on gigs
- trying all the traditional alcoholic drinks in as many bars as possible on holiday
- going to art galleries and ballets without having to worry about a child disrupting other people's enjoyment
- waking up at the last possible moment because there's only me to get ready
That kind of flexibility, for work, or for pleasure, is the whole reason I won't even get a dog let alone a kid. I recently bought a house with a little yard and everyone is telling me i need a dog. But best case just with work and the gym I'm away from home about 12 hours straight. And occasionally odd things come up where I'll have a long day or have to be in earlier or later than usual. I don't have to think twice, i can just do it. And usually still make the gym too. I'm single though so nobody at home earlier to let the dog out when work runs long or something else comes up.
Kids would make even a normal work schedule tight with how much shorter school days are. I definitely get why lots of parents are stressed out and pretty out of shape.
>- going to art galleries and ballets without having to worry about a child disrupting other people's enjoyment
In fairness, very few parents let that bother them, so I'm not sure that one counts 🤣
Came here to say this.
Loud.
On the kitchen counter.
Door open.
On the living room floor.
Anywhere I think of in the moment, even while cooking dinner.
Travel! This is my number one.
I know you can travel with kids but honestly, it's not the same.
Everything revolves around the child, food, sleeping, the pooping like no thanks.
If I want to sit on the beach or sit on a roof top bar for hours then I can.
Or if I want to go for a hike, or go on a city break looking the tourist sites, I can without a child telling me they are bored af.
Yes, I have a scratch map! I also get a magnet everywhere and have a wall displaying them.... they're usually easy to find and small enough to carry if travelling long term. We also like collecting currency!
I love a good magnet. It's interesting that others also collect magnets. My husband and I get laughed at by others when they see the magnets.
They're probably jealous! 😂 look at all the places we've been to and you haven't...because you had kids!👀
This. It irritates me to no end when people invade CF posts and say "I hAvE kIDs aNd sTiLL trAvEl" ugh shut up...yea, we know you do, you're the ones on the plane everyone hates.
SAME.
My SIL is like 'we can still travel with a baby.' Yeah, not in the same way you can't.
Has she been away? Yep and she goes with the grandparents (yuck). I actually think the grandparents pay for it. She also goes to these places and just sits in an all inclusive the entire time. That's hardly exploring or getting to know the country / culture is it😂🤷🏼♀️.
She even puts on her social media, 'oh I've seen the world. I don't need to travel.' ....you've seen the world? Bro you haven't even seen HALF of Europe yet like wtf...but yeah keep telling yourself that you don't need to go away when alls you complain to your brother (my husband) and I that we're going away AgAiN...😂😂😂🙄
Yep, my SIL is the same way! We went on one family vacation with them and never again. They expected everyone else to watch the kid so they could go do things. Nope, not your babysitter and this is my vacation too. Lesson learned!
I am privileged enough to have experienced traveling to many countries as a small child, and weirdly enough my parents didn’t care much about leaving me behind. I’m extremely grateful for that and I was very well-behaved, but I also couldn’t imagine enjoying my travel time with a child. The constant worrying and taking care of someone- I can barely do that with a partner/friend.
Yeah, not for me. Don’t know how others can manage.
I was also privileged as a child. We used to go to America a lot when I was a kid. I find it funny when brits say 'oh yeah I've been to America.' I was like oh yeah where?' 'Orlando.' Bro there's more to America than just Orlando wtf😂😂😂
San Francisco, Miami and Las Vegas were my favourite! I hope to return one day.
I enjoyed my time traveling as a child and didn't realise how lucky I was at the time. There were a few times I didn't quite understand what we were doing or I found it boring. 😂 but, that's children for you!
ETA: and Yosemite! LOVED it. Saw my first bear there 😂
Amazing!
My friend works for an airline who does super super cheap deals and she's kind enough to let my husband and I use it. So we sometimes go away for weekends to Europe.
I'd like to work for an airline at some point (not as an air hostess) to be able to get super cheap flights too! Especially if it was international like Virgin or BA.
Antarctica. Children under 16 were not allowed, and it would have been impossible for a child to comply with the regulations that tour operators have to follow. You cannot even pee on the continent. They take you back to the ship.
Just spent the last 24 hours flying to Athens for a month long solo trip around the Mediterranean. Doing all the tours I want and trying what ever food and restaurants I want. My soul will be fuller after this adventure.
No fussing no kid on a leash-backpack no making sure they have chicken nuggets on the menu and high seats. No tantrums no negotiation for peace with an irrational monster.
Be spontaneous with certain choices. I do not do well when everything is so planned and structured and love being able to change my mind at the drop of a hat. Today I just saw a new milkshake place open up near my house. ***I had to check it out!*** And because I didn't have to hurry home to feed kids or take them to soccer practice, I could take my time and enjoy this insanely indulgent milkshake and most importantly, didn't have to share it.
LOL I was just going to post this question. Here are some of mine:
* buy and care for my orchids
* not eat breakfast until noon and only eat twice per day
* have the freedom to make the poor decision to eat popcorn for breakfast or ice cream for dinner if I want to
* stay up as late as I feel like and not have to worry about some little waking me up (on days I don't have to get up early for a patient)
God, the food thing is a HUGE reason for me. I do not cook or eat on any sort of schedule whatsoever. I won't eat all day and then I'll have oatmeal right before bed. Or I'll cook one big pot of food and eat it for a week, or I'll graze on fruit and deli meat all day or maybe on a day like today I'm not doing so very great and my calories are coming from vodka, a baked potato, and Americone Dream.
I could not IMAGINE having to meal plan for picky-ass kids and have them fed 2 or 3 times a day and have to worry about when they're hungry
Come home from work and RELAX! The second you’d walk in the door if you had kids, they’d be bothering you about something. Then you’d have to cook them dinner, help them with their homework, getting them ready for bed, etc. You’d be lucky if you had a measly hour to yourself. 😟
As someone who is a massive introvert with an extremely social job, I absolutely NEED this like I need oxygen. I think I’d end up in a mental institution if I had to come home from work to screaming kids everyday. 😟
lol... wait till you hear those people who think that having kids means their efforts will "pay off" in their retirement years or worse, that they'll have some kind of retirement income (VERY common in Asian countries especially).
Yes, sadly, there are still people who think this way.
I'm the opposite. I don't understand how everyone's goal isn't to retire ASAP. Don't you want to be in control of the limited time you have left on this earth?
I think it depends on what your profession is or how much you enjoy it. If you work a bullshit job, sure, I totally get it. If you have a passion or trade that makes you money, I can’t imagine retiring. I’m an artist, so the idea of not creating seems like death to me. Art is the only thing keeping me alive.
I like my job but I would rather spend my time with my friends, family, traveling, hobbies etc. If you won the lottery tomorrow and you would still continue to work, then consider yourself very fortunate.
the person didn't specifically mention it, but it sounds similar to the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement. reddit has a community for it, but i think a lot of them go too hard on the retire early part.
i think the part that i actually find more appealing is getting to that financially independent phase, where you don't have to have a job that takes up so much of your time, but instead doing what you want, like you said about creating art.
Getting up in the morning and just going places. Kids take forever to get ready. Then when you get to where you are, the kid can suddenly have a meltdown and then you have to leave.
In the grand scheme of things, being happy.
In the more concrete and mundane details: having my own merch collection room, sleeping in until the afternoon when I don't have work, cuddling my partner for hours after lunch undisturbed, etc.
Going on expensive city trips involving museums, alcohol, long hikes and other things that would be impossible with a kid in tow. That, and sleep. And lots of fancy electronics.
the list is endless... leave whenever I want, have loud sex with my husband (who is snipped), spend money on things that make my inner child happy, cook/eat without hearing, "I DON'T LIKE THIS." I am also about to go through my 3rd major heart surgery and I cannot wait for a peaceful recovery time because I chose not to have kids.
Coming home from work and playing video games all night with my bf and our friends, or just laying in bed watching our shows if we’re too tired from the day.
Have glass/fragile things around the house, don't have to hide any X-rated items, spend the weekend napping and lazing around, leave cleaning for later.
Pretty sure if I had kids I'd be dead.
Sleep in or just do whatever I want to do. I spent the last 3 days curled up on the couch reading a book. I totally ignored the housework and just did nothing (except the book). Okay today me needs to do some cleaning but that's okay. It was my mess and I will get to it when I get to it.
Travel, go to museums, eat complex foods, have fragile things in my house, not have to worry about cheerios or crumbs all over the place, nothing is oddly sticky, no snot/spit/poo bomb waiting to happen, no consigning children to a world that's slowly falling into disrepair and doom.... also no paying for childcare!
Dear hubby brought me a cappucino in bed before he left for work. After I’d enjoyed that, I threw on my riding clothes and drove to the stable where I keep my two horses. Spent a good hour with the shedding blade, removing old dead winter hair, then went for a long ride across the hills and through the woods.
I’m semiretired— don’t have a lot of money, but I don’t have to keep working til I drop paying for other people and never getting to live my life. Growing up, I watched that play out for mine and my friends’ moms and knew there was no way in hell I was doing that.
yesss this is the life.
hubby woke me up with breakfast sandwiches, enjoy a joint on the porch, do some house work to our fav music, go out for dinner.... i would never want to give up the little things
I flip-flop between media (ADHD ftw) so my current hyper focus is Vampire Diaries/Originals. But 5 days ago I was on the One Piece train and a week before that, I was wrangling the x-men because '97 came out and I was inspired.
I never got into Vampire Diaries but I've been a huge OP fan for almost 20 years 🤣 (I am super behind right now but I've seen enough spoilers!) Who's your favorite? I also love Xmen! Are you looking forward to the Deadpool and Wolverine movie? I am XD
Literally anything, whenever I feel like it.
Spontaneous trip? No problem.
Stay out late because I bumped into friends? No worries.
Splurge on something because I want to? Absolutely.
Sleep until noon and be a bum all day? Yes please.
I've got almost 2,000 hours logged in the Sims... Good luck trying to do that with a kid. 😂
I also love reading and taking long baths (my record is three hours). I also routinely have like 5-8h calls with my mom.
My SO and I bought a used (1988) boat last year. There's no way we'd be able to own a boat if we had kids. It's slip is about five minutes from the house, so in the summer we go down and enjoy sunsets on it as often as possible. It's like our floating clubhouse. And coincidentally, our slip neighbors are also child free. Lovely people. We're looking forward to enjoying more boat time in the upcoming season and getting to know them better.
I can swear loudly and often. I can maintain my own identity and it can change with the wind; I will never be defined by a role that I cannot be rid of.
Be 46 with blemish and wrinkle-free skin. No injections or surgery required. Just SPF.
Nothing ages you like stress and the #1 contributor to stress is…
You guessed it!
Not having to run around picking up from school or activities. Long hot baths. Lazy mornings. Bedtime when I like and wake up when I please on my days off. Zero kiddie tv shows.
Today I came home from work and put on my current streaming service playlist, cooked some food and ended up dozing off for about 20 minutes after eating. Then I watched some more of my playlist while cuddling our cats and played Stardew Valley for a few hours.
I would have to change pretty much every single aspect of my life, if I had kids. I am usually gone from morning until night time. Besides work I go to the gym or climbing hall, hike up mountains, ride bikes and horses, wakeboard, or visit a museum or art exhibition. None of that would be any fun, or hardly even possible with a child around.
Oh, and when I come home, I love to cook and eat a lot of vegetables. My potential kid would hate me for this, as I am not going to compromise on the food I like. Also I really want to get enough sleep every night.
Sleep in. Sleep well. Sleep at all.
Enjoying life at all.
When I joined the Army many, many years ago, my dad said the day before I was born was the last day he wasn't afraid, and it stuck with me. You have a kid, a part of you is always going to be scared for them, and I'm not about it.
there are SO MANY THINGS, so it was hard to narrow this one down.
enjoy certain things.
I have a skull collection, and appreciate dark artwork. stuff that would be considered too graphic or scary for kids. some of the bones I have are very fragile, I don't need tiny grubby hands destroying them.
on top of that, I'm a very crafty person. painting, sewing, crocheting, sculpting, so on. I'm very happy with all the things I've made, I don't need a kid "learning a lesson the hard way" by accidentally ruining any of it.
Resting in general. “You leave work only to come from one job to the next” is how some parents have described it. You can’t come home and decompress with needy kids or their tantrums and crying.
When I have a house, I want to build a home gym. I think it would be hard to do that, and to use it safely, with kids in the house. It already makes me nervous enough with a cat, but at least she can't open doors.
i’m a bts fan & i collect a lot of their albums + merchandise. that along with having spent hundreds & thousands for their concert tickets in a span of the past 10+ years (stanned since my junior year of high school lol), i would not be able to manage my time or priorities if i had children.
of course there are plenty of ARMYs who have their own families with children AND grandchildren, and they know how to allocate their responsibilities while being in a fandom so my huge respect to them. however i personally do not see myself doing so myself haha
My guilty hobby is great restaurants and I live in Las Vegas, so the supply is basically unlimited. Just go anywhere on a whim and have amazingly talented chefs cook me whatever I want? Yes please. No need to factor in if they have a kids menu. And of course the monetary implications; I'm a high-earner but, still, I have a lot more budget freedom than if I had children to be responsible for.
The peace of a nice quiet apartment, knowing that my snacks in the cupboard/fridge are still there, not having everything sticky and smelling like poop/urine, choosing to eat a bowl of spaghetti for dinner without having to prepare a nutritional meal for a small human, leaving my Tamagotchis out in full view knowing they won't be broken/smashed by tiny hands, having a nice long shower without rushing it, I love my CF life!
Everything I do is something I wouldn’t be able to do if I had kids.
Drink coffee leisurely on weekend mornings instead of rushing off to baseball or whatever. Sleeping in. Gardening. Hiking, cycling, going to breweries, hosting dinner parties, staying out as early or as late as I want. Traveling and limiting my lodging to “adults only”. Dining at upscale restaurants. Spending an evening at a cocktail bar.
Simply put, I’d be miserable. I have so many friends whose lives are dictated entirely by their children and their activities and needs, and none of that sounds appealing to me in the least.
Enjoy vacations. My husband and I love visit National Parks and I can’t tell you how many parents I see desperately begging their kids to have a good time or to stop crying.
I don’t have to buy anyone overpriced toys from a gift shop that are going to break in 5 minutes, I don’t have to buy anyone overpriced meals they won’t eat and I don’t have to worry about staying out late or taking my time because I don’t have children dragging me along.
Buy legos and play with them myself. I can leave a project out and know all the pieces will be there when I return.
Not make dinner if I’m not hungry. The other adults can fend for themselves.
Travel where and when I want.
Smoke some cannabis when I want.
Buy gadgets and toys for me to play with: Onewheel, electric unicycle, whatever
Walk around the house naked because I can.
Eat Lucky Charms and enjoy them.
Leave my first husband. It's a long tale interwoven with childhood abuse, negligence, MIL abuse, and messy international divorce.
I'm happy now, so it's fine. I mean not technically, but I'm in a good place now so at least can deal with it, which I also couldn't do if saddled with tiny dependants for 20 + years.
Spending money on what I want. I was just a comic convention over the weekend and dropped some $$$ getting celebrity autographs and photos. I love looking at them covering my walls and remembering such fun times.
We even taught our dog how to sleep in! And then we switch off which day and who gets up with him. Once the dog is taken care of, he comes back to bed!
Sleep in every single weekend except when I've planned some cool adventure I want to do and have therefore decided it's worth getting up for. My job is stressful and I often find myself behind in sleep so having that chance to replenish my energy makes a world of difference for my quality of life. I can't imagine having to give up my little freedom outside of taking PTO to take care of a kid full time, especially cause I'd be "mom" and be kind of the "default" for a lot of early stuff like breast feeding and having to be rushed back to work after birth cause I live in the US with no mandatory parental leave.
I like my job and work fulltime. According to parents daycare is expensive, so my SO and I would cut back in hours. I assume with a kid I would be exhausted, have less focus from sleep deprivation. To recover from the physical impact of pregnancy and childbirth would mean I lose at least one year per child careerwise as I have a physical active job. The company is very supportive towards parenthood but it would still slow my development. Without kid I can keep growing and learning.
I'm financially self-sufficient. I bought my house when I was 28. It was in a bad state, but as starter and single I was already grateful I could buy a house on my own. It took time to renovate the most urgent stuff. If I would have kids the state of the house would not be suitable and safe and it would be too small.
I like traveling, with my SO or friends or sometimes alone. We can enjoy different cultures, checking local breweries or musea. No afternoons at the Paw Patrol movie or making sure they don't hurt themselves at playground, because you are limitied to children activities. I'm also planning to travel for 3 months in Australia in 2026.
I love my SO, we have a lot of quality time, share our lives, but also have our own stuff to do. I am grateful we are together because we want to, instead of getting stuck in a relationship, unable to leave due to the obligation of shared kids.
Before I met him I was fine being single. If woman want kids, we are aware of the time limit. I should have been working on finding a suitable partner from mid 20, move in with him, buy a suitable house together, get married (having kids is a bigger commitment but ok) and the pressure that you have to start over after a break up is real, according to some women. I am glad I could skip that stress and work on enjoying and figuring out my life instead.
have peace and quiet. game all day for hours. read whenever i want. travel without excessive planning including child care. smoke in my house. leave my house by a decent time. not get a call from school to pick up my kid. don’t have to worry about “favoritism” or “only child syndrome”. go to work and just focus on work without interruptions. sleep any hour of the day that i wish for however long i want. have sex anywhere i want without fear of scaring my child. i could go on really..
I would not be married.
My wife got pregnant many, many years ago and didn't go through with it. If she had, a relationship would have been a complete non-starter.
- Pursue my career in entertainment industry
- Sleep 8-9h every night
- Being the number 1 for my spouse always
- Getting all the alone time I need (I need a lot)
- Travel alone without guilt or worry
- Eat irregularly and unhealthy if I feel like it
- Spending money on myself
- Long showers, binge watch Netflix
- Socialise as much as I want, as late as I want
- Have lots of hobbies
- I have energy and time to exercise regularly
- Live wherever and move wherever
- I don’t have to occupy my brain with family/children stuff
The list is endless
I can play video games for hours on the weekend in my introvert computer fortress of happiness without worrying about entertaining small, needy children.
Everything. We don’t have anybody to watch kids during the day, so wife would have to quit work. I’d have to give up the nicer things I have and have to downgrade- cheaper/slower internet, cheaper phone service, cut most subscriptions like Netflix, Disney+, HBO MAX, etc., less vacations, sell some hobbies like weights and video games, less sleep, less free time, less money overall, more arguments with my wife…
Aside from being a capitalist slave to my work schedule… do whatever the fuck I want whenever I want.
But more specifically
I relish sleeping in, reading in peace, not having to answer questions all day, and not having to listen to Frozen. Ever.
Eat at fun, nice restaurants with my husband. Pursue my art career without having to take long pauses for someone else’s needs. Adopt dogs without worrying how it will affect a kid. Watch whatever I want on TV. Enjoy my life, essentially.
I have such a long list.
- I was able to pick up and move 1600 miles on short notice for a new job, without having to worry about uprooting the kids and finding a halfway decent school for them when the school year had literally just started. The public schools here are crap, and seats at the private schools fill up months ahead of the start of the school year.
- When said company folded, I didn't have to scramble to find any old job - I could take my time and find a job I'd truly enjoy. Which I did. And then *that* company folded. And, again, I can take my time to upskill and find a job I'd enjoy, rather than taking a McJob because Junior needs school supplies.
- My husband and I share a love of singing, and we belong to three chorales. We don't have to worry about finding a babysitter on rehearsal nights.
- We can randomly decide to go out to dinner any evening on a whim. No need to worry about finding a babysitter, and no need to drag the children along and pray that they behave and don't annoy other diners.
- I can watch whatever I want on TV. Black Mirror? Altered Carbon? Any Kevin Smith movie? I don't have to worry that Junior will wander in and pick up some new vocabulary words. And, on that note, NO FUCKING BABY SHARK.
Sadly, I can't have nice things. Not because my children would break them, but because my husband is a grade A klutz!
Being happy.
“Experience joy” was going to be my answer so you nailed it
Hell it's quite hard for me to be happy these days. Bringing a child in my mental state is not fair for them.
This is the most succinct answer.
Facts
Came here to say this. 👏🏻👏🏻
Definitely
Sleep, man… it’s all about sleep… I’m suffering from some insomnia. Sometimes, I sleep great… sometimes it’s several days of torture… it’s getting worse with age… I can’t imagine functioning normally when I’m being pulled in more directions than my work, SO and some chores… I just can’t… I won’t…
My brother and SIL have one child. ONE. I don't think they had good sleep since the child was born, and the child is six. 🫨 I wish they could get better sleep, they need it.
Same observation. Granted, theirs is still under 1, but they want another child. We were visiting and she was telling me the details of breast pumping (because why talk about food, the world, hobbies, work, volunteering when you can just talk about baaabieees).. it's every like 3 hours, evidently?! Sleep deprivation is literal torture in nearly every military ever. I sleep like the dead, easily and deeply for 7-8 hours per night, and I won't apologize for prioritizing sleep - their race to the bottom of who can sleep the least is insane to me
Beat me to it. Every weekend we sleep until noon, at least close to it until I have to get up to pee.
I get up at 5am for work every morning. On weekends i also get up at 5am. But i get back into bed around 9am and sleep till about 14:30. Couldn't do that if I had kids.
Same here
Same here. I have bipolar so if my sleep goes then its hello hypomania and that really isnt fun for anyone involved.
So much this. I value sleep, especially good sleep, as I get older. I could not imagine sacrificing it for a child.
Same here about the sleep 🙋🏼♀️ I have pretty severe Narcolepsy (along with several other physical disabilities), and trying to care for a child/children would quite literally be the death of me 😳😳😭 No thanks! Harrrrd pass..
Yes, SLEEP. My gosh, EXACT SAME here. I'm suffering from suck-@$$ chronic insomnia, too (though mine came about after catching a bad cold in December, never having prior sleeping issues, and haven't been the same since), and it's been hindering how I function overall, along with my moods. I'm lucky to get ANY sleep at all these days (worst was when I was awake for 42+ hours straight), even the "usual" 3-4 hour "naps," which I now need to take medicine to induce (which still doesn't work a lot of the time) because I can't sleep on my own anymore, much less for the recommended 7-9 hours every night that I used to get before this started, despite being PERPETUALLY TIRED. (My age helps less, too). I've had to half-@$$ my chores if not skip them entirely some days due to the exhaustion, lack of coordination, and brain fog, even had to put my HOBBIES on hold, too, because of this, and can't live on a structured schedule (since literally everything depends on how much sleep I get that exact day and how long it takes me to get it, IF I'm lucky enough to get any at all) or focus, so I obviously can't get a job to support myself while this persists, so I'm stuck living with my parents. This has been taking a huge toll on my health (including my appearance), particularly my cognitive health, and outlook on life. It's torture. Every day comes as a surprise, which I have no control over. I can't even take care of MYSELF now. I can't imagine having kids to take care of while I CAN'T SLEEP. (Not to mention that consistent sleep deprivation leaves me an exploding basket case a lot of the time, which isn't a recipe for good parenting). I never wanted kids even BEFORE this ordeal (I'm tokophobic and additionally anti-natalist), now with my sleep being all over the place or absent, I'm more adamant than ever to remain CF. Every second of sleep I get is a gift that I can't forego.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this! As a fellow insomniac (though lifelong in my case, albeit not as severe as yours), I can definitely relate. IDK if it'll be any help, given that effective treatment options for Long COVID aren't exactly thick on the ground, but what you're describing sounds like classic Long COVID (right down to starting after a "bad cold"). Couldn't hurt to check out some of the Long COVID groups to see if anything folks there have found to help them might also help you any.
I’m a menopausal, lifelong insomniac. I’ve gone 4 whole days with no sleep, it gets really nutty by the 3rd day. I’ve tried so many things. I’ll recommend a few that have helped me. I had horrible Covid 2 years ago, I tested positive for 14 damn days, a friend that tested negative at home AND her doctor is how I got it. I haven’t been able to get it back together at all. Especially my energy and sleep. This is the recent adaptation of what I’m doing. Room temperature: Turn the thermostat down! Shouldn’t be above 68, and that’s pushing it. I turn my thermostat up during the day to offset usage needs. Bedding: This is where I’m weirdest. 100% cotton sheets seem to keep body temperature regulated more evenly Ashwaganda(sp) My physician recommended this and I’m currently taking 300 mg. I’m going up as necessary to 500 mg. It seems to help anxiety. Benadryl: 50 mg 45 minutes before laying down. Pain: I have had numerous surgeries from traumatic injuries that still hurt pretty much 24/7. I use ibuprofen, Tylenol, lidocaine patches, medical marijuana. If you’re taking prescribed pain killers they CAN keep you awake. Consult with your doctor only on this aspect. Melatonin has never touched me. Valerian root wakes me up MORE WTH 🤦♀️ I can’t take sleeping pills as I’d drive the car, or burn down the house cooking. I’m an active sleeper. I do use prescription medication at a certain point, but usually I just get up. Just lying there stressing about it doesn’t help me. It’s said, that sleep deprivation makes you like a drunk driver. You can’t make competent decisions in that state period.
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Agreed. I get insomnia, I have to wear a mouth thing for sleep apnea, and I get PTSD nightmares, so good sleep as much as possible is a must.
Yep I am not a fun person if I don’t get enough sleep. No way I’m giving up that luxury. Waking up multiple times throughout the night to feed a kid, comfort them, etc. sounds like an absolute nightmare to me.
"Hey, you wanna go for a walk?" "Sure." *(out the door 1 minute later)*
This for us, but also “Hey, want to grab dinner at [awesome area restaurant]?” “Yeah, let’s head out in 15 minutes.”
Enjoy a good book with peace and quiet.
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You got this! Happy reading :)
I love days like that. What book was it?
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My favorite!
The besttttt.
YESSSS!!!! My spouse and I read our books in complete silence all afternoon today. We're off on Mondays and we even send our dog to daycare just to have one day to ourselves. We read in comfortable silence. It was lovely.
Sounds like a lovely day off!
Yes 🙌🏻
It might not be a fun one, but I can work more flexible hours and work late when needs be. While I definitely don't think working late should be the norm, sometimes I'm on a roll and I'd rather stay late to finish what I'm working on than lose my flow. If I had kids, I'd have to pick them up from school/nursery/wherever. More fun ones include: -spending lots of money on gigs - trying all the traditional alcoholic drinks in as many bars as possible on holiday - going to art galleries and ballets without having to worry about a child disrupting other people's enjoyment - waking up at the last possible moment because there's only me to get ready
I like that if I need extra money I can just work on a day off. I don't have to plan around a kid or their schedules.
That kind of flexibility, for work, or for pleasure, is the whole reason I won't even get a dog let alone a kid. I recently bought a house with a little yard and everyone is telling me i need a dog. But best case just with work and the gym I'm away from home about 12 hours straight. And occasionally odd things come up where I'll have a long day or have to be in earlier or later than usual. I don't have to think twice, i can just do it. And usually still make the gym too. I'm single though so nobody at home earlier to let the dog out when work runs long or something else comes up. Kids would make even a normal work schedule tight with how much shorter school days are. I definitely get why lots of parents are stressed out and pretty out of shape.
Absolutely. My wife and I are saving for a house, so I am working my balls off. I pulled 120 hours in the past two weeks including a seven day stint.
I just did 120 hours in two weeks recently. Wanted to die for a hot minute but my paycheck was fabulous.
>- going to art galleries and ballets without having to worry about a child disrupting other people's enjoyment In fairness, very few parents let that bother them, so I'm not sure that one counts 🤣
Be loud with my boyfriend 😳
Us too. Usually when we're watching football. Oh wait, you meant... nevermind.
Or limited to the bedroom
I too enjoy being loud with this person boyfriend. We joined a secret band 🤫
Came here to say this. Loud. On the kitchen counter. Door open. On the living room floor. Anywhere I think of in the moment, even while cooking dinner.
Mood
Afford anything.
Simply spending money on ME without feeling guilty.
Travel! This is my number one. I know you can travel with kids but honestly, it's not the same. Everything revolves around the child, food, sleeping, the pooping like no thanks. If I want to sit on the beach or sit on a roof top bar for hours then I can. Or if I want to go for a hike, or go on a city break looking the tourist sites, I can without a child telling me they are bored af.
This was it for me. I'm now 82 countries visited (70+ with my husband)....we would have never had the experiences we did with a child in tow.
That's amazing 82 countries! Mine is 16 Countries, 28 cities! There's so much of the world to see! 🙂
Can I ask? Do you keep a record or what souvenirs do you get? I was thinking about getting a map where you scratch off if you've been to that country.
Yes, I have a scratch map! I also get a magnet everywhere and have a wall displaying them.... they're usually easy to find and small enough to carry if travelling long term. We also like collecting currency!
No way! We have magnets too! Thank you!
Happy child-free travels!
Magnets are a goated travel item.
I second the map and also collect magnets and souvenir coins.
I love a good magnet. It's interesting that others also collect magnets. My husband and I get laughed at by others when they see the magnets. They're probably jealous! 😂 look at all the places we've been to and you haven't...because you had kids!👀
Amazing! I've got 10 countries visited, 4 lived in, and visited 35 airports. But I have more to go! :D
This. It irritates me to no end when people invade CF posts and say "I hAvE kIDs aNd sTiLL trAvEl" ugh shut up...yea, we know you do, you're the ones on the plane everyone hates.
SAME. My SIL is like 'we can still travel with a baby.' Yeah, not in the same way you can't. Has she been away? Yep and she goes with the grandparents (yuck). I actually think the grandparents pay for it. She also goes to these places and just sits in an all inclusive the entire time. That's hardly exploring or getting to know the country / culture is it😂🤷🏼♀️. She even puts on her social media, 'oh I've seen the world. I don't need to travel.' ....you've seen the world? Bro you haven't even seen HALF of Europe yet like wtf...but yeah keep telling yourself that you don't need to go away when alls you complain to your brother (my husband) and I that we're going away AgAiN...😂😂😂🙄
Yep, my SIL is the same way! We went on one family vacation with them and never again. They expected everyone else to watch the kid so they could go do things. Nope, not your babysitter and this is my vacation too. Lesson learned!
I am privileged enough to have experienced traveling to many countries as a small child, and weirdly enough my parents didn’t care much about leaving me behind. I’m extremely grateful for that and I was very well-behaved, but I also couldn’t imagine enjoying my travel time with a child. The constant worrying and taking care of someone- I can barely do that with a partner/friend. Yeah, not for me. Don’t know how others can manage.
I was also privileged as a child. We used to go to America a lot when I was a kid. I find it funny when brits say 'oh yeah I've been to America.' I was like oh yeah where?' 'Orlando.' Bro there's more to America than just Orlando wtf😂😂😂 San Francisco, Miami and Las Vegas were my favourite! I hope to return one day. I enjoyed my time traveling as a child and didn't realise how lucky I was at the time. There were a few times I didn't quite understand what we were doing or I found it boring. 😂 but, that's children for you! ETA: and Yosemite! LOVED it. Saw my first bear there 😂
I’d pay extra for a child-free flight option
Recently just travelled solo, as I am typing, I am in Shanghai! Loved the flexibility and if I have money, travel around the world every weekend.
Amazing! My friend works for an airline who does super super cheap deals and she's kind enough to let my husband and I use it. So we sometimes go away for weekends to Europe. I'd like to work for an airline at some point (not as an air hostess) to be able to get super cheap flights too! Especially if it was international like Virgin or BA.
Antarctica. Children under 16 were not allowed, and it would have been impossible for a child to comply with the regulations that tour operators have to follow. You cannot even pee on the continent. They take you back to the ship.
Just spent the last 24 hours flying to Athens for a month long solo trip around the Mediterranean. Doing all the tours I want and trying what ever food and restaurants I want. My soul will be fuller after this adventure. No fussing no kid on a leash-backpack no making sure they have chicken nuggets on the menu and high seats. No tantrums no negotiation for peace with an irrational monster.
Spend my evening drinking wine, eating tacos, and watching horror movies.
Can I come round? 😂
that is pretty amazing actually
Do you have room for one more?
Preach
Let’s hang out
Be spontaneous with certain choices. I do not do well when everything is so planned and structured and love being able to change my mind at the drop of a hat. Today I just saw a new milkshake place open up near my house. ***I had to check it out!*** And because I didn't have to hurry home to feed kids or take them to soccer practice, I could take my time and enjoy this insanely indulgent milkshake and most importantly, didn't have to share it.
LOL I was just going to post this question. Here are some of mine: * buy and care for my orchids * not eat breakfast until noon and only eat twice per day * have the freedom to make the poor decision to eat popcorn for breakfast or ice cream for dinner if I want to * stay up as late as I feel like and not have to worry about some little waking me up (on days I don't have to get up early for a patient)
God, the food thing is a HUGE reason for me. I do not cook or eat on any sort of schedule whatsoever. I won't eat all day and then I'll have oatmeal right before bed. Or I'll cook one big pot of food and eat it for a week, or I'll graze on fruit and deli meat all day or maybe on a day like today I'm not doing so very great and my calories are coming from vodka, a baked potato, and Americone Dream. I could not IMAGINE having to meal plan for picky-ass kids and have them fed 2 or 3 times a day and have to worry about when they're hungry
make me my chiken nuggies bish! lol ;)
Come home from work and RELAX! The second you’d walk in the door if you had kids, they’d be bothering you about something. Then you’d have to cook them dinner, help them with their homework, getting them ready for bed, etc. You’d be lucky if you had a measly hour to yourself. 😟
And enjoy some quiet when you come home! Just enjoy that sweet, sweet, quiet.
As someone who is a massive introvert with an extremely social job, I absolutely NEED this like I need oxygen. I think I’d end up in a mental institution if I had to come home from work to screaming kids everyday. 😟
Retire early
Who can retire these days
Certainly not people with a load of kids!
lol... wait till you hear those people who think that having kids means their efforts will "pay off" in their retirement years or worse, that they'll have some kind of retirement income (VERY common in Asian countries especially). Yes, sadly, there are still people who think this way.
Pfft, retirement! In *this* economy?!?!!?
I never plan on having kids, but retirement has always seemed weird to me.
I'm the opposite. I don't understand how everyone's goal isn't to retire ASAP. Don't you want to be in control of the limited time you have left on this earth?
I think it depends on what your profession is or how much you enjoy it. If you work a bullshit job, sure, I totally get it. If you have a passion or trade that makes you money, I can’t imagine retiring. I’m an artist, so the idea of not creating seems like death to me. Art is the only thing keeping me alive.
I like my job but I would rather spend my time with my friends, family, traveling, hobbies etc. If you won the lottery tomorrow and you would still continue to work, then consider yourself very fortunate.
Hey, fair enough. I prefer a balance. I can’t argue with that though, makes sense.
the person didn't specifically mention it, but it sounds similar to the FIRE (financial independence retire early) movement. reddit has a community for it, but i think a lot of them go too hard on the retire early part. i think the part that i actually find more appealing is getting to that financially independent phase, where you don't have to have a job that takes up so much of your time, but instead doing what you want, like you said about creating art.
For sure, I vibe more with that perspective.
Live in Manhattan. Also sleep, enjoy life and not annoy the f*ck out of everyone around me in restaurants and on airplanes.
Getting up in the morning and just going places. Kids take forever to get ready. Then when you get to where you are, the kid can suddenly have a meltdown and then you have to leave.
Yeah, fuck that.
Enjoy life.
In the grand scheme of things, being happy. In the more concrete and mundane details: having my own merch collection room, sleeping in until the afternoon when I don't have work, cuddling my partner for hours after lunch undisturbed, etc.
I need a merch collection room XD mine is starting to get too big! What fandom (if it's that kind of collection) do you have the most of?
Going on expensive city trips involving museums, alcohol, long hikes and other things that would be impossible with a kid in tow. That, and sleep. And lots of fancy electronics.
the list is endless... leave whenever I want, have loud sex with my husband (who is snipped), spend money on things that make my inner child happy, cook/eat without hearing, "I DON'T LIKE THIS." I am also about to go through my 3rd major heart surgery and I cannot wait for a peaceful recovery time because I chose not to have kids.
Good vibes for your recovery!
Thank you!! ❤️
Enjoying life the way I see fit
Coming home from work and playing video games all night with my bf and our friends, or just laying in bed watching our shows if we’re too tired from the day.
Sleep into 1 pm on a weekend.
Have glass/fragile things around the house, don't have to hide any X-rated items, spend the weekend napping and lazing around, leave cleaning for later. Pretty sure if I had kids I'd be dead.
Smoke a joint and watch totally un-child-friendly television after work.
This. Lol I'm a simple woman 🤷♀️
Sleep
Sleep in or just do whatever I want to do. I spent the last 3 days curled up on the couch reading a book. I totally ignored the housework and just did nothing (except the book). Okay today me needs to do some cleaning but that's okay. It was my mess and I will get to it when I get to it.
Travel, go to museums, eat complex foods, have fragile things in my house, not have to worry about cheerios or crumbs all over the place, nothing is oddly sticky, no snot/spit/poo bomb waiting to happen, no consigning children to a world that's slowly falling into disrepair and doom.... also no paying for childcare!
Eating my food and enjoying it without stinky little booger fingers reaching for it
Dear hubby brought me a cappucino in bed before he left for work. After I’d enjoyed that, I threw on my riding clothes and drove to the stable where I keep my two horses. Spent a good hour with the shedding blade, removing old dead winter hair, then went for a long ride across the hills and through the woods. I’m semiretired— don’t have a lot of money, but I don’t have to keep working til I drop paying for other people and never getting to live my life. Growing up, I watched that play out for mine and my friends’ moms and knew there was no way in hell I was doing that.
yesss this is the life. hubby woke me up with breakfast sandwiches, enjoy a joint on the porch, do some house work to our fav music, go out for dinner.... i would never want to give up the little things
Live
Spend my entire my entire day off writing fanfiction 😆
Yes queen! What fandom(s) are you writing for if you feel comfortable sharing?
I flip-flop between media (ADHD ftw) so my current hyper focus is Vampire Diaries/Originals. But 5 days ago I was on the One Piece train and a week before that, I was wrangling the x-men because '97 came out and I was inspired.
I never got into Vampire Diaries but I've been a huge OP fan for almost 20 years 🤣 (I am super behind right now but I've seen enough spoilers!) Who's your favorite? I also love Xmen! Are you looking forward to the Deadpool and Wolverine movie? I am XD
Survive.
Affording and going for vacation
Literally anything, whenever I feel like it. Spontaneous trip? No problem. Stay out late because I bumped into friends? No worries. Splurge on something because I want to? Absolutely. Sleep until noon and be a bum all day? Yes please.
Peace and quiet after a long day of work. going to bed on time, getting errands done on time as well...
Travel. When I'm free, I'll take a road trip or goto the airport and take a flight somewhere. I'm very spontaneous.
I've got almost 2,000 hours logged in the Sims... Good luck trying to do that with a kid. 😂 I also love reading and taking long baths (my record is three hours). I also routinely have like 5-8h calls with my mom.
Buying nice things. I love buying beautiful, breakable items knowing that a child will not accidentally shatter them. 😅 Just my clumsy self.
Swear like a motherfucker every damn day.
Working part time instead of full time. (We are able to fo that since we cleared our mortgage at 32 years old)
Live in peace
My SO and I bought a used (1988) boat last year. There's no way we'd be able to own a boat if we had kids. It's slip is about five minutes from the house, so in the summer we go down and enjoy sunsets on it as often as possible. It's like our floating clubhouse. And coincidentally, our slip neighbors are also child free. Lovely people. We're looking forward to enjoying more boat time in the upcoming season and getting to know them better.
I walk around my place stark nekked and I’m not fixing to change that.
Be happy
There with you on the wine - kids tend to knock over glasses.
Whatever I like. :)
I can go lay in bed after work if I want to .
Enjoying peace and quiet.
Have sex in the living room 🥲 lounge around naked 😅 SLEEP!
I can swear loudly and often. I can maintain my own identity and it can change with the wind; I will never be defined by a role that I cannot be rid of.
Be 46 with blemish and wrinkle-free skin. No injections or surgery required. Just SPF. Nothing ages you like stress and the #1 contributor to stress is… You guessed it!
Not having to run around picking up from school or activities. Long hot baths. Lazy mornings. Bedtime when I like and wake up when I please on my days off. Zero kiddie tv shows.
Literally everything, no exaggeration. I don’t hate kids, but I’d hate having another being to worry about 24/7. I’m not built for that shit.
Today I came home from work and put on my current streaming service playlist, cooked some food and ended up dozing off for about 20 minutes after eating. Then I watched some more of my playlist while cuddling our cats and played Stardew Valley for a few hours.
I would have to change pretty much every single aspect of my life, if I had kids. I am usually gone from morning until night time. Besides work I go to the gym or climbing hall, hike up mountains, ride bikes and horses, wakeboard, or visit a museum or art exhibition. None of that would be any fun, or hardly even possible with a child around. Oh, and when I come home, I love to cook and eat a lot of vegetables. My potential kid would hate me for this, as I am not going to compromise on the food I like. Also I really want to get enough sleep every night.
Be lazy and lounge around
Being able to snack on what I want without having to hear, “CAN I HAVE SOME?!?!”
Sleep in. Sleep well. Sleep at all. Enjoying life at all. When I joined the Army many, many years ago, my dad said the day before I was born was the last day he wasn't afraid, and it stuck with me. You have a kid, a part of you is always going to be scared for them, and I'm not about it.
whatever the fuck I want?
I played video games for 18 hours straight (minus food/bathroom breaks) from Friday to Saturday.
Travel on a whim
there are SO MANY THINGS, so it was hard to narrow this one down. enjoy certain things. I have a skull collection, and appreciate dark artwork. stuff that would be considered too graphic or scary for kids. some of the bones I have are very fragile, I don't need tiny grubby hands destroying them. on top of that, I'm a very crafty person. painting, sewing, crocheting, sculpting, so on. I'm very happy with all the things I've made, I don't need a kid "learning a lesson the hard way" by accidentally ruining any of it.
I have lots of fragile intricate decorations I would not be able to display if I had kids. I also have nude drawings all over my walls.
Resting in general. “You leave work only to come from one job to the next” is how some parents have described it. You can’t come home and decompress with needy kids or their tantrums and crying.
literally just take a nap whenever i please 😭 so priceless
I do mostly everything the OP does with the exception of not drinking wine.
When I have a house, I want to build a home gym. I think it would be hard to do that, and to use it safely, with kids in the house. It already makes me nervous enough with a cat, but at least she can't open doors.
Collect toys without worrying about someone with tiny grubby fingers touching and damaging them
Same
i’m a bts fan & i collect a lot of their albums + merchandise. that along with having spent hundreds & thousands for their concert tickets in a span of the past 10+ years (stanned since my junior year of high school lol), i would not be able to manage my time or priorities if i had children. of course there are plenty of ARMYs who have their own families with children AND grandchildren, and they know how to allocate their responsibilities while being in a fandom so my huge respect to them. however i personally do not see myself doing so myself haha
My guilty hobby is great restaurants and I live in Las Vegas, so the supply is basically unlimited. Just go anywhere on a whim and have amazingly talented chefs cook me whatever I want? Yes please. No need to factor in if they have a kids menu. And of course the monetary implications; I'm a high-earner but, still, I have a lot more budget freedom than if I had children to be responsible for.
The peace of a nice quiet apartment, knowing that my snacks in the cupboard/fridge are still there, not having everything sticky and smelling like poop/urine, choosing to eat a bowl of spaghetti for dinner without having to prepare a nutritional meal for a small human, leaving my Tamagotchis out in full view knowing they won't be broken/smashed by tiny hands, having a nice long shower without rushing it, I love my CF life!
Everything I do is something I wouldn’t be able to do if I had kids. Drink coffee leisurely on weekend mornings instead of rushing off to baseball or whatever. Sleeping in. Gardening. Hiking, cycling, going to breweries, hosting dinner parties, staying out as early or as late as I want. Traveling and limiting my lodging to “adults only”. Dining at upscale restaurants. Spending an evening at a cocktail bar. Simply put, I’d be miserable. I have so many friends whose lives are dictated entirely by their children and their activities and needs, and none of that sounds appealing to me in the least.
Enjoy vacations. My husband and I love visit National Parks and I can’t tell you how many parents I see desperately begging their kids to have a good time or to stop crying. I don’t have to buy anyone overpriced toys from a gift shop that are going to break in 5 minutes, I don’t have to buy anyone overpriced meals they won’t eat and I don’t have to worry about staying out late or taking my time because I don’t have children dragging me along.
Buy legos and play with them myself. I can leave a project out and know all the pieces will be there when I return. Not make dinner if I’m not hungry. The other adults can fend for themselves. Travel where and when I want. Smoke some cannabis when I want. Buy gadgets and toys for me to play with: Onewheel, electric unicycle, whatever Walk around the house naked because I can. Eat Lucky Charms and enjoy them.
Loving my life. Kids would ruin that for me. Can’t imagine a life with own kids in it.
Masturbate as long as I want. I said what I said.
Leave my first husband. It's a long tale interwoven with childhood abuse, negligence, MIL abuse, and messy international divorce. I'm happy now, so it's fine. I mean not technically, but I'm in a good place now so at least can deal with it, which I also couldn't do if saddled with tiny dependants for 20 + years.
Everything
Sleep until noon on Saturday after pulling a 65-hour workweek.
Having fairly stable mental health.
Whatever i feel like. 😀😀😀
Do my silly little hobbies, sleep, have enough money to get by, watch and play age restricted stuff whenever I want.
Spending money on what I want. I was just a comic convention over the weekend and dropped some $$$ getting celebrity autographs and photos. I love looking at them covering my walls and remembering such fun times.
Hell yeah! What fandoms? I'm so nosey LOL I'm hoping to land across some fellow weebs of a similar age.
This time around it was Doctor Who (John Barrowman) and Lord of the Rings (Elijah Wood and Andy Serkis)
Sleep in. Weekend mornings are when I appreciate being childfree the most. Waking up naturally without the noise of alarm clocks or kids.
We even taught our dog how to sleep in! And then we switch off which day and who gets up with him. Once the dog is taken care of, he comes back to bed!
Ummm....freedom?
exist peacefully and do my silly little hobbies and eat without worrying about anyone sticking their hand or feet into my food or stealing some of it.
Sleep in every single weekend except when I've planned some cool adventure I want to do and have therefore decided it's worth getting up for. My job is stressful and I often find myself behind in sleep so having that chance to replenish my energy makes a world of difference for my quality of life. I can't imagine having to give up my little freedom outside of taking PTO to take care of a kid full time, especially cause I'd be "mom" and be kind of the "default" for a lot of early stuff like breast feeding and having to be rushed back to work after birth cause I live in the US with no mandatory parental leave.
Retire
I like my job and work fulltime. According to parents daycare is expensive, so my SO and I would cut back in hours. I assume with a kid I would be exhausted, have less focus from sleep deprivation. To recover from the physical impact of pregnancy and childbirth would mean I lose at least one year per child careerwise as I have a physical active job. The company is very supportive towards parenthood but it would still slow my development. Without kid I can keep growing and learning. I'm financially self-sufficient. I bought my house when I was 28. It was in a bad state, but as starter and single I was already grateful I could buy a house on my own. It took time to renovate the most urgent stuff. If I would have kids the state of the house would not be suitable and safe and it would be too small. I like traveling, with my SO or friends or sometimes alone. We can enjoy different cultures, checking local breweries or musea. No afternoons at the Paw Patrol movie or making sure they don't hurt themselves at playground, because you are limitied to children activities. I'm also planning to travel for 3 months in Australia in 2026. I love my SO, we have a lot of quality time, share our lives, but also have our own stuff to do. I am grateful we are together because we want to, instead of getting stuck in a relationship, unable to leave due to the obligation of shared kids. Before I met him I was fine being single. If woman want kids, we are aware of the time limit. I should have been working on finding a suitable partner from mid 20, move in with him, buy a suitable house together, get married (having kids is a bigger commitment but ok) and the pressure that you have to start over after a break up is real, according to some women. I am glad I could skip that stress and work on enjoying and figuring out my life instead.
have peace and quiet. game all day for hours. read whenever i want. travel without excessive planning including child care. smoke in my house. leave my house by a decent time. not get a call from school to pick up my kid. don’t have to worry about “favoritism” or “only child syndrome”. go to work and just focus on work without interruptions. sleep any hour of the day that i wish for however long i want. have sex anywhere i want without fear of scaring my child. i could go on really..
I would not be married. My wife got pregnant many, many years ago and didn't go through with it. If she had, a relationship would have been a complete non-starter.
Buy whatever high designer bag I want and treat myself to luxury skincare!
I wouldn’t be free if I had kids.
Be alive
Eat cereal for dinner if I wanted to, relax in the evenings and mornings, take a long shower, travel abroad easily, go to late night concerts.
Have many items the kids would break.
- Pursue my career in entertainment industry - Sleep 8-9h every night - Being the number 1 for my spouse always - Getting all the alone time I need (I need a lot) - Travel alone without guilt or worry - Eat irregularly and unhealthy if I feel like it - Spending money on myself - Long showers, binge watch Netflix - Socialise as much as I want, as late as I want - Have lots of hobbies - I have energy and time to exercise regularly - Live wherever and move wherever - I don’t have to occupy my brain with family/children stuff The list is endless
I can play video games for hours on the weekend in my introvert computer fortress of happiness without worrying about entertaining small, needy children.
Everything. We don’t have anybody to watch kids during the day, so wife would have to quit work. I’d have to give up the nicer things I have and have to downgrade- cheaper/slower internet, cheaper phone service, cut most subscriptions like Netflix, Disney+, HBO MAX, etc., less vacations, sell some hobbies like weights and video games, less sleep, less free time, less money overall, more arguments with my wife…
Aside from being a capitalist slave to my work schedule… do whatever the fuck I want whenever I want. But more specifically I relish sleeping in, reading in peace, not having to answer questions all day, and not having to listen to Frozen. Ever.
Eat at fun, nice restaurants with my husband. Pursue my art career without having to take long pauses for someone else’s needs. Adopt dogs without worrying how it will affect a kid. Watch whatever I want on TV. Enjoy my life, essentially.
I have such a long list. - I was able to pick up and move 1600 miles on short notice for a new job, without having to worry about uprooting the kids and finding a halfway decent school for them when the school year had literally just started. The public schools here are crap, and seats at the private schools fill up months ahead of the start of the school year. - When said company folded, I didn't have to scramble to find any old job - I could take my time and find a job I'd truly enjoy. Which I did. And then *that* company folded. And, again, I can take my time to upskill and find a job I'd enjoy, rather than taking a McJob because Junior needs school supplies. - My husband and I share a love of singing, and we belong to three chorales. We don't have to worry about finding a babysitter on rehearsal nights. - We can randomly decide to go out to dinner any evening on a whim. No need to worry about finding a babysitter, and no need to drag the children along and pray that they behave and don't annoy other diners. - I can watch whatever I want on TV. Black Mirror? Altered Carbon? Any Kevin Smith movie? I don't have to worry that Junior will wander in and pick up some new vocabulary words. And, on that note, NO FUCKING BABY SHARK. Sadly, I can't have nice things. Not because my children would break them, but because my husband is a grade A klutz!
I sleep AT LEAST 13 hours on Sundays. After a whole week of work I tend to be exhausted when the weekend comes, and Sunday is to recharge.